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Ian was working late tonight and he had been working the late shifts at the bar for two whole weeks which meant that he had barely spent any time with Mickey. He would get home at around 3am, shower and then fall into bed and cuddle up to his dead to the world boyfriends back. Mickey would be up at 5am, shower and then head to work whilst Ian slept most of the day. When Mickey would get home after 6pm. Ian would have already left to catch a bus to start work at 7. It had been like this every day for the past two weeks, because Mickey had weekends off, but Ian pulled double shifts both those days and when he was home, he was too tired to do anything. He sighed as he wiped the bar down and made sure the place was clean enough for Tobias’ shift the next day.
Finally both him and Mickey had a day off together and he planned on doing absolutely nothing but Mickey all day long. He made his way home and unlocked the door and found a body sized lump on his couch. He smiled at himself knowing that Mickey would still wait up for him like usual and pass out before Ian got home. He hadn’t done that lately because he knew Ian was closing the bar and it would be stupid to sleep on the couch that long and risk fucking his back up anymore than it already was
He slipped his shoes off, his pants and his top until all he had on was his boxers. He made his way over to the lump and tried not to wake his boyfriend up as he slipped his hand underneath the blankets and into the waistband of his boyfriend’s briefs to start gingerly stroking his cock. It took a few strokes before the thought popped in his head that Mickey hates briefs, he doesn’t even fucking own a single pair only boxers, before the realization fully hit him. This wasn’t Mickey.
It really hit home when the lump whose dick he was stroking moaned out “Gary” In a voice that he knew, and it definitely wasn’t his boyfriend’s voice.
Ian quickly pulled his hand out and tried to evacuate hoping that the lump, which he now was positive to be named Nate, woke up entirely and would realise that this was not a dream and his best friend’s boyfriend had just tried to wake him up with a hand job. But clearly life really fucking hated Ian because the lump called Nate woke up and threw the blankets off in a flurry causing himself to fall off the couch with a load thump followed by a hushed whisper of “What the hell Ian?”
Ian was so fucking embarrassed and really didn’t want to have to fully explain the situation so he just backed out of the lounge room with a quick “sorry, thought you were Mick” and then rushed into his bedroom to hide in shame.
When Ian awoke the next day, he heard noises coming from the kitchen. It was 11am so he figured Mickey was probably making him brunch, well Mickey would just call it breakfast coz brunch is fucking gay, he smiled at the thought and walked out towards the kitchen. When he got there the memory of the lump incident came rearing back to him as he was face to face with the lump called Nate. Nate’s face flushed red and he quickly averted his eyes away from Ian, who realised he was only in his underwear because he had totally forgot that Nate was here, and that he had molested him in his sleep no less.
“Morning” Nate said as he took a seat at the kitchen table. Ian couldn’t speak, thoughts and images of what he did the night before rushing through him until his boyfriend was face to face with him smiling so fucking adorably because he had no idea that Ian, his boyfriend, was a hand job rapist.
“Hey firecrotch, made you bacon and eggs for brunch” Mickey said with a wink as he handed the plate over. Ian just stood there, completely unsure on how to act as Mickey raised his eyebrows at him questionably.
“You aint gonna comment on the fact that I just called this brunch? You don’t look so hot man, you ok? Sit down at the table, I’ll get you a glass of water”
Ian still didn’t move until Mickey ushered him into his sit, next to Nate. Why the fuck did they have such a small table? He needed to buy a bigger one, one that could fit a hundred people so that his knee wouldn’t be so close to Nate’s. God Mickey will flip if he finds out Ian touched his best friend up, his only friend.
Mickey was a super jealous guy and even though last night was a complete misunderstanding, Ian still didn’t think that Mickey would be ok with this. And he would probably never speak to Nate again and Ian knew how much Mickey loved Nate, in an entirely platonic way. No way Mickey would try and jack him off in his sleep. He wasn’t a creep like Ian.
Oh fuck, what the fuck was he going to do?
“Ian, seriously, are you Ok? You’re fucking white as my ass right now, and we both know that shit’s basically fluorescent.”
Ian finally managed a choked out “M’fine” But Mickey wasn’t buying it.
“Look Mick, last night…” Nate began to speak up obviously trying to tell Mickey that Ian had fucking Jacked him off on the couch that Ian regularly cuddled with his long term boyfriend on. Ian could not let Nate say anything so he stood up knocking his water over on the table and began glaring and shouting at Nate.
“Why are you here Nate?” Nate looked at him in complete bewilderment, which wasn’t all that surprising because Ian was acting like a crazed maniac, yelling at the poor victim of dick assault. Victim shaming was never a nice thing; Ian was actually quite verbally against it. But for some reason he was fucking losing the plot.
“Ian. Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with you, that was rude as fuck. You don’t yell at guests and be an asshole. That’s usually my job. What the fuck is with you today?”
Mickey was staring at him like he had grown two heads or something. Ian kind of felt like maybe he had. He needed to apologise, he needed to fess up before he went completely mental. He couldn’t keep a secret like this from Mickey he opened his mouth and…
“Uhhhh…” Mickey just looked up him and shook his head as Nate came back with a towel to clean up the water Ian had spilled. Nate was a great guy like that, has Ian’s grabby hands all over his crown jewels the night before but still manages to be the perfect guest the day after. Ian kind of hated him a little for his cool and calm composure. Guy had balls of steel or something. Maybe Ian should of grabbed them instead of his cock last night, might not feel it if your balls were made of steell. He was torn away from his inner monologue of complete and utter bullshit by Nate, and his steel balls, answering Ian’s question from before.
“Gary and I had a fight, kicked me out so Mick let me crash on your couch. I would of slept in the spare room but Mickey said you guys don’t have a bed in there. So, I’m sorry if I freaked you out when you came home. Totally not your fault or anything…”
Mickey swivelled his head towards Nate and looked at him suspiciously. The Jig is up, run lump named Nate with balls of steel, save yourself!! Ian almost screamed.
“What’s not his fault? You freaked out?” Mickey directed his last question to Ian as he crossed his arms across his chest and all Ian could do was stutter…
“I… I… need a shower”
Before he bolted out of the room into the bathroom.
He ran the water and stripped off, hoping that a shower might somehow clear his head and get him to properly confess. Or maybe whilst he was in here Nate and his steel balls would handle the situation in a better manner than Ian had handled his dick last night, But of course Ian had no luck, before Ian could even step in to the shower, Mickey had opened the unlocked bathroom door (Coz Ian is a fucking dickhead and didn’t think to perhaps barricade himself in here better by actually locking the fucking door).
“Ian seriously, what is with you?” He crossed his arms again and leant on the door. Giving Ian his best impression of ‘We’re-sorting-this-out-no-ifs-or-buts-about-it’
“Tired” Ian tried avoidance once more and tried to step into the shower, but Mickey was serious and grabbed Ian by the arm and sat his naked ass on the edge of the bath tap. He knelt down inbetween Ian’s legs and placed his hands on either side of Ian’s face.
“Nahhh… you’re acting weird as shit. I know you, something's up and Nate left all apologetic and shit like he did something wrong. Did he?” Oh shit. Mickey was looking at him as if Nate had fucking touched Ian in his special place and not the other way around. This was it, he fucking had to shut this shit down and tell the truth.
“NO… He… I… Fuck. I touched his dick…”
Mickey’s hands fell away from Ian’s face as he stood and glared down at Ian.
“You fucking what?”
Mickey was fucking pissed, but Ian needed to explain this properly. If only he could find the right words.
“I came in, not like Came in, as in jizzed in anything. No I came in to the apartment and thought it was you on the couch asleep all bundled up in the covers, so I… I put my hand under and I swear to god Mick, like two strokes… maybe three before I realised it wasn’t you. I didn’t know he was here! And now, I’ve fucked it up. Not him! I didn’t fuck him or anything, it was just a couple of strokes… Like he only got a little hard, barely even a semi. Oh God. I’m making this worse aren’t I? I should stop talking about your best friend’s dick and how I touched it. But seriously Mick… No more than three strokes and your dick is so much better. Thicker and longer and so so beautiful. I totally love your dick. And I definitely don’t want to touch Nate’s dick, never again. I didn’t even want to touch it the first place…”
Ian was fucking this up, his mouth was spilling out so much verbal diarrhoea and Mickey was just staring at him, unmoving the whole time so Ian kept rambling on and on until…
“Ian seriously shut up” He looked so mad right now and Ian really wanted to shut up like Mickey had asked him to but the word vomit was just pushing to keep coming out…
“Please don’t be mad Mick. Don’t like, stop hanging out with him or anything, just because I got all up in his junk by accident. You really like the guy, I really like him too. Obviously. Not obviously because I touched his dick or anything. Obviously because he’s my Gym buddies partner and we all hang out all the time, not like hang out with our dicks out but I’m digressing again. I meant that I would never do that to Gary. I’m not talking about touching Gary’s dick. I mean fucking his boyfriend Nate and touching his dick. I don’t want to touch Gary’s dick either though Mick… just yours Oh god. Say something. Stop staring at me like that. I am not obsessed with touching dicks. I’m just really fucking freaked out and I can’t stop talking about dicks man. Fuck a dick! God damn dicks! Seriously. Fuck. Do you want to touch someone’s dick to make it even? Maybe Gary’s dick so we’re all squared up in this foursome or do you think that would just make things weirder. Oh god Mick. Fucking help me out here? Are you fucking mad at me coz I touched your friends dick??”
Mickey’s eyes just got Larger and larger as Ian continued to poor bullshit out of his mouth. His face got redder and redder until Ian finally stopped and Mickey began fucking Laughing so hard that tears were pouring down his face and he could barely speak
“Holy shit Gallagher.” He finally managed to get out between his laughter. Ian crossed his arms feeling a little angry that Mickey was laughing, and still slightly worried he was gonna chop Ian’s hands off for touching another dudes dick.
“Why the fuck are you laughing?” He blurted out and this just made Mickey laugh louder. When his boyfriend had finally composed himself he began speaking again
“Because I have seen you freak the fuck out a million times before but this, this Dick freak out you just had. Is fucking up there at number 1 of the craziest fucking Gallagher shit I have ever heard. Holy fuck man.” And he began laughing again until he looked up at Ian and saw the pout that was obviously on his face.
“S’not funny. He probably hates me now. I’m still kind of worried you might hate me too.” Ian chewed on his bottom lip as his boyfriend came closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist.
“No Ian. I don’t fucking hate you. It’s weird that you touched my friends dick, yeah, but it’s kind of weirder that you want me to touch my friends boyfriends dick in some kind of sick and twisted friendship way. Like, you want us all to circle jerk each other and make friendship bracelets out of each other’s jizz or something?”
Mickey chuckled at his stupid sense of humour so Ian thought he was In the clear to push him hard in the shoulder and then smack his other hand hard onto his chest.
“OK, I’ll stop with the jokes, stop hitting me!! Damn Ian. You need to calm down. It’s Ok. I’m not gonna flip out at you, or Nate. And I don’t think Nate’s mad at you for giving him a three stroke hand job where he only got a little bit hard, according to you, not even a semi”
Ian could feel his face burning red with embarrassment and tried to hide his face in his hands but Mickey grabbed hold of him and kissed him gently on the lips instead. Only letting out the tiniest of chuckles of amusement.
“Oh my fucking god. I can’t believe I said all that, I’m a fucking weirdo aren’t I?” Ian buried his face in his boyfriends neck as Mickey kissed his temple and whispered in his ear.
“Yeah you fucking are! But you’re my dick grabbing weirdo”
Ian pulled away and made his way into the shower flipping Mickey off as he stepped under the stream of water and yelling over his shoulder.
“Fuck you Mick”
He closed the door to the shower only to hear it open a few seconds later and his speed stripper of a boyfriend pushed him up against the tiles.
“If you insist…”