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Blue lock was an eerily quiet place at night and Rensuke couldn’t sleep.
It wasn’t just the almost painful sound of his teammates’ breathing in their own beds around him, no, Rensuke’s recent bouts of insomnia ran deeper than that.
It had started with the Wild Card challenge–that first night after Ego’s intentions with all the losers who had chosen this route were revealed had been the first night of many where Rensuke would be cursed to fitful bouts of sleep, accompanied by a heavy, aching feeling, somewhere in his chest.
That night he’d been unsure what to do.
He’d tossed and turned until dawn, trying to convince himself that sleep would find him eventually and he’d be able to find respite in his dreams, if only for a couple hours, before he had to deal with what this new reality meant for him.
Rensuke didn’t dream anymore, and he knew better than to waste another night lying awake and staring up at his ceiling, waiting for sleep to save him when he couldn’t even save himself.
Not from getting locked off, not from Ego’s experiment, not from the thoughts that plagued his mind during the quiet hours of the night where he couldn’t keep himself distracted enough to push them away–not from any of it.
Kunigami quietly pushed himself out of bed before those thoughts could make their presence any more noticeable and resigned himself to another night of training that he definitely shouldn’t be doing.
Training helped, Kunigami found.
It kept unwanted thoughts at bay as his mind was able to focus on one solitary task, and it gave him a sense of purpose for a moment–something other than destruction that he could be useful for.
Training helped his mind, Kunigami found, but he had reached a point where it was doing nothing good for his body.
If anything, he’d become aware that he’d reached a stage where he was only really harming himself every time he snuck out of bed to squeeze in some extra training, long after everybody else had fallen asleep and was getting the rest their bodies’ definitely needed after all the physical strain their regimes put them through during the day.
It was rest Kunigami desperately needed too, but for whatever reason–he actually knew the reason and did everything in his power to avoid thinking about it–it was rest Kunigami could not find.
He was half-asleep as he made the short trip–that actually ended up feeling like the longest walk of his life–to Bastard Munchen’s gym.
Kunigami was sure he spent the most time there out of everyone on the team, even the players who actually belonged to Bastard Munchen, and weren’t just there because it was another one of Ego’s sick pet projects.
Still, Kunigami felt a sigh of relief get caught in his throat as he finally laid his eyes on the door to his safe place and haven.
His eyes remained trained on the door for a few minutes more as he briefly forgot where he was and blinked blearily at the room in front of him as he swayed slightly on his feet, trying to remember.
By the time he came to, after almost having fallen asleep where he stood, Kunigami had accidentally spent far longer than he intended to loitering outside–and whilst he wasn’t sure whether there was anyone actually monitoring the halls of Blue Lock after curfew, he still knew that he was somewhere he definitely wasn’t supposed to be and every moment he spent waiting increased his chances of getting caught dramatically.
Realising this, Kunigami took a deep breath in an attempt to refocus and reached a shaking hand–shaking? Why was his hand shaking?--towards the familiar door handle.
He’d held it so many times during the course of the NEL that it felt almost comfortable in his unsteady fist as his grip lingered on the knob.
He didn’t understand why he was hesitating but every time Kunigsmi tried to correct this, something inside of him just wouldn’t allow it–until finally his head gave a painful throb and Kunigami was quickly forced out of this stalemate with himself as he leant his weight forward, letting his forehead rest against the door.
It was then he realised two things: one, he was exhausted. Like, properly exhausted. Like, the kind of exhaustion you feel deep within your bones–ingrained into your nervous system and sewn within the very fibres of your mind.
Kunigami was tired, and two, Kunigami did not want to go inside.
Training had always been there for Kunigami–before Blue Lock and during it, and after it, when he’d lost himself during Wild Card and had been forced to forget everything he thought he knew; everything but training.
Training had always offered a respite to him and he’d grown to appreciate the heavy tiredness that draped over his body like a blanket when he overworked himself, but right now, Kunigami didn’t want that.
He couldn’t go on like this–he would break–and as much as Kunigami had come to hate himself he didn’t want that, he wanted to be whole, he wanted to sleep .
Kunigami screwed his eyes shut as he tried to fight away the memories that forced their way into his mind now, those of the first and second selections, those of peaceful nights and sleep that came easy and a warm body next to him and a bed much too small for two people and safety found in arms wrapped around him and soft, cherry red hair and him .
Him, who probably hated Kunigami now.
Him, who probably wouldn’t turn Kunigami away regardless if he were to show up at his door in this state.
Him , who, more than anything, Kunigami just desperately wanted to see.
Kunigami finally released the sigh that had been caught in his throat the entire time, though it was one of considerably less relief now, as he realised what he had to do.
It was probably sleep-deprivation that had brought him to this decision, as well as a gut-wrenching sense of loneliness–but despite this, the only thing circling Kunigami’s mind as he somehow managed to sneak into Manshine City’s stratum despite his exhaustion and the loud reservations shouting ‘This is a bad idea!’ from the back of his mind, was the tired, half-formed notion that Kunigami had always slept better in his arms anyway.
…
Chigiri had been awake for a while when a soft knock sounded at the dorm room’s door.
At first he thought he’d imagined it, and that the lack of sleep had finally caught up to him and maybe it was time to accept his fate and go to bed because who could possibly be knocking on the door at 4 in the morning–but then it had sounded again and this time Chigiri heard it clearly.
He had been prepared to ignore it anyway and simply let it be somebody else’s problem as he finally allowed himself to get some sleep, when a hesitant, gruff, and achingly familiar voice accompanied the second sound.
“... Chigiri ..?” Chigiri’s heart gave a painful lurch, “ Are you awake ..?”
For a moment, shock froze him, and Chigiri couldn’t do anything but stare at the door in open-mouthed surprise, stuck in the position he’d previously been in–sat up in his bed, bored and waiting for something to happen.
Something had happened alright , and it wasn’t until Chigri heard the sound of reluctant shuffling and the unmistakable sigh of someone who was giving up and going back to where they’d come from that Chigiri finally became unfrozen–bouncing up from his bed and using his famed speed to get to the door as quickly as possible.
He swiftly swung the door open to reveal an already retreating Kunigami, and before the boy could open his mouth to explain himself, Chigiri had jumped into his arms.
Now, it wasn’t like it was the first time they were seeing each other since they’d been separated and Chigiri certainly hadn’t reacted like this then because Kunigami had been acting cold and Chigiri had more self-respect (and pride) than that, but it was the first time since they’d been separated that Kunigami had gone out of his way to find him .
Chigiri’s excitement briefly made him forget himself.
He quickly corrected this by shoving himself away from the man almost immediately after jumping into his arms, and then shoving him again–for good measure.
Not that this had any effect on the giant of a man standing before him, but still, it made Chigiri feel a little better.
“Well, well, well, look who’s finally decided to pay me a visit,” Chigiri whispered dryly, reaching out to close the door to the room behind him.
He knew Nagi and Reo to be fast asleep but it was still better not to take any chances–Chigiri didn’t want to wake them, and he definitely didn’t want them to hear this exchange, especially not after all the times he’d made fun of them for their affinity for drama.
Kunigami said nothing in reply to Chigiri’s words, just staring at him blankly for a minute until Chigiri raised an eyebrow and asked, “You good?”, forgetting that their relationship wasn’t currently in a place where they spoke that casually to each other and hadn’t been for a while.
Despite this, it was those words that finally seemed to break Kunigami down, and before Chigiri knew it there was 6 feet of muscles slumping over his considerably smaller frame and hanging onto him like he was a lifeline.
“Oh,” Chigiri exhaled as he tentatively reached up his hands to place them on Rensuke’s back.
Rensuke sighed as they made contact and Chigiri took that as a good sign, deciding to just roll with it and fully wrap his arms around the man so that they were hugging.
This made Rensuke all but melt into him, nearly knocking them both over as, what felt like his entire weight, settled on Chigiri, leaving him unsure of what to do or what was happening.
This is new , Chigiri thought as he began to run his hands up and down Rensuke’s back, resulting in another sigh, although it wasn’t necessarily true.
The situation wasn’t exactly new, per se, rather that it was unfamiliar after so long.
This was how they used to hug, before Rensuke had been taken from him and returned changed.
Sensing that this perhaps wasn’t the best place to say all that he had to say to the man in his arms whilst simultaneously demanding a plethora of answers, preferably ones that validated everything Chigiri had been feeling and came accompanied by a litter of compliments and apologies, Chigiri changed his approach.
“Rensuke…” Chigiri said quietly, also using the man’s given name for the first time since they’d been separated, “Would you like to come to my bed?”
Chigiri held his breath as he waited for a response, the only thing stopping him from worrying that he might scare the man away being the less-than-light weight that still shrouded his body.
Eventually, Chigiri felt a slight nod into his shoulder and again took this as confirmation.
Maneuvering Rensuke into the room had been about as difficult as Chigiri had expected, and he’d been forced to practically drag the man to his impractically shaped bed as Rensuke refused to let go of him, but eventually they made it and Chigiri flopped backwards on his bed–taking Rensuke with him–as he breathed a sigh of relief.
“ Finally ,” he groaned quietly, grinning down at Rensuke, whose face was still buried into the crook of Chigiri’s neck.
Chigiri, mirroring this, buried a hand into the man’s hair and began to card through orange curls the way he’d used to do, humming satisfiedly to himself.
Kunigami continued to say nothing, but, well, he was in Chigiri’s bed .
Chigiri gauged the man would talk when he was ready, however long that took.
In the end, it ended up taking about an hour–but Chigiri was a patient man and his patience was rewarded when he finally felt Kunigami grumble something into his neck.
“Hmm?” Chigiri hummed, trying not to laugh at how the words tickled muttered so closely to him, “Could you repeat that, Hero?”
Both men froze at the nickname, which had slipped out unintentionally as a force of habit but, thankfully, didn’t scare Rensuke away.
“... I missed you ,” was what Rensuke eventually decided on.
It felt shorter than the message that had been mumbled into Chigiri’s skin–leaving him pretty sure it wasn’t what the man had been originally planning to say, but it didn’t matter too much.
“You didn’t have to, you know?” Chigiri huffed, pausing his stroking of Kunigami’s head to swat at him, albeit, gently, “I’ve been right here the whole time. You could’ve come to see me whenever.”
“ I know ,” the words were once again muffled as Rensuke buried his face further into Chigiri and Chigiri took pity.
“What’s wrong, Her– Rensuke?” He asked softly, placing his hand back in his hair and resuming his efforts of essentially petting the man like an abnormally large dog.
“...’m tired,” was the response Chigiri had to wait another two minutes for.
He huffed again.
“And you couldn’t sleep in your own bed because..?”
“Missed you,” Rensuke repeated, though he sounded more sure of it this time.
When Chigiri huffed again, this time the noise sounded more fond than irritated and it was clear the sound was concealing a smile.
“I take it this means you’re ready to stop sulking and ignoring me?” He said with an eyebrow raised, not that Rensuke could see it.
Chigiri received an angry, unintelligible grumble in response and was forced to stifle a tired giggle as he suddenly remembered that they weren’t the only two people in the room.
For as long as Chigiri had known the man, Nagi had always slept like the dead, so there wasn’t much to worry about with him but Reo on the other hand was another matter.
Even if the man was awake, it was very likely he would keep quiet and pretend to be asleep if only to collect material to make fun of Chigiri with later.
With that in mind, Chigiri tried to be as quiet as possible as he shuffled slightly and tried to alert the giant of a man lying on top of him that his organs were very much being crushed.
Rensuke had settled in between his legs so at least the most prized of Chigiri’s limbs were safe, along with the arm wrapped around the man’s back and the alternate hand settled in his hair–but the same couldn’t be said for the rest of Chigiri’s body.
“Rensuke?” Chigiri risked whispering, “Do you think you could move a little..?”
Chigiri’s question was met with silence and he was exasperatedly wondering whether he was being ignored again or if he would have to wait another hour for a reply when a quiet snore sounded, followed by a substantially louder one.
Chigiri’s eyes widened in surprise.
The bastard was asleep .
With no way to move the mountain of a man that was crushing him, Chigiri was forced to resign himself to lying uncomfortably on his back and allowing Rensuke to snore in his ear.
He felt far more pleased about it than he maybe should have.
Understandably, it was a while before he was able to fall asleep–but once he finally did, Chigiri was in for the most enjoyable (hour of) sleep he had ever had in his life.
…
Chigiri was woken up by a sharp nudge to his shoulder and a Kunigami-induced sense of claustrophobia.
When he finally blinked them open, his bleary eyes confirmed that Rensuke was still in fact sleeping happily on top of him and Reo and Nagi were undoubtedly awake.
“What?” He croaked at the blurs of purple and white hovering above him.
“Your boyfriend snores,” smirked Purple.
“ Tell him to leave ,” whined White.
“Fuck off, tell Chris I’m sick,” Chigiri groaned, attempting to stretch as much as he could in his currently restricted position.
“Whatever, it’s your funeral,” sang Purple.
“We’ll get you breakfast,” yawned White, rubbing at his eyes as he trailed after his counterpart.
What he really meant was that Reo would get Chigiri breakfast–hopefully complying with Chigiri’s request and informing Chris of his sudden, mysterious illness when the overexcited puppy of a man inevitably asked why the redhead wasn’t there, getting his daily dose of protein–and would then spend a good hour pestering him for details.
Chigiri should really make sure Kunigami had returned to Bastard Munchen by then–he wasn’t sure how strict Noel Noa was about training and such but if appearances were anything to go by then it was probably wisest not to take any chances.
“Renuske,” Chigiri tried gently, nudging the man’s arm.
When that was met only with snores, Chigiri frowned and tried again.
“ Rensuke ,” louder; less nudging, more attempting to shake the man awake.
More snores.
So he hadn’t been joking last night when he said he’d been tired.
As Chigiri frowned at the somehow-still-peaceful, sleeping face before him, he wondered how long it had been since the last time the man had had some proper sleep.
Chigiri’s frown melted the longer he stared.
His shaking had long since ceased.
“ Baby , wake up.”
That seemed to work.
Rensuke jolted awake, resulting in a wince from Chigiri as he was elbowed, painfully, in the ribs.
“Thanks for that,” he said dryly as his lungs sang in sweet relief, Rensuke finally sitting up and giving his organs room to breathe.
Rensuke, who was still very clearly in the process of waking up, blinked down at him, confused.
Chigiri grinned and decided to take advantage of that confusion by promptly leaning up to press a quick kiss to the tip of the man’s nose.
Watching his kind-of-boyfriend flush bright red and freeze in shock for a few moments before quickly scrambling to get out of the bed as if he was only just realising he was in it, easily made Chigiri’s morning, as well as partially making up for the time he’d spent being crushed.
It would’ve been better if Kunigami hadn’t immediately raced out of the room but whatever, there was always next time.
…
By sheer coincidence, the door to their dorm shut behind Kunigami just as Reo was returning to the room with a bowl of miso soup.
The two men paused upon seeing each other and Reo felt amused as he took in the uncharacteristically scared look on Kunigami’s face, like he was a small animal trapped in a cage.
Reo was the first to react, raising an eyebrow at Kunigami and grinning as he placed a hand on his hip.
This was enough to send Kunigami running–not in the right direction, but running nonetheless.
Reo was laughing when Nagi finally caught up to him, immediately wrapping his arms around Reo’s waist and placing his head on top of the other’s as Reo paused his laughter to gently tell him to ‘mind the soup’.
“What do you think that was about?” He mumbled tiredly as Reo began to shuffle to the door, dragging both of them with him.
“I don’t know Nagi, but let’s find out,” Reo grinned as he finally got close enough to the door to push it open, revealing a content looking Chigiri, perched on his bed and combing through his hair like he did every morning.
“Well, well, well–” Reo began, only to be immediately cut off by Chigiri holding up a silencing hand in their direction without even looking up.
“Can it,” Chigiri said happily, eyes still trained on his hair and focused on the methodical task of pulling the brush through every strand, “Do you guys know how many times I’ve, tactfully , ignored you sneaking into each other’s beds in the middle of the night to make out ?”
Nagi and Reo exchanged a wary glance.
“I brought you soup,” Reo tried placatingly, ever the diplomat, at the same time that Nagi grumbled, “If Chigiri heard anyway what was the point in listening when Reo told me to be quiet?”, ever the idiot.
Chigiri grinned to himself at both responses, and again at the betrayed sound Nagi made when Reo elbowed him sharply in the ribs.
Chigiri finally set down his brush and took the soup from Reo, ignoring the curious glance the man sent him as he did so.
Like he understood what had happened last night any better than anyone else
All he knew was that he hoped Kunigami would visit again tonight.
And the next night, and the night after that, and for however long he needed to.
Chigiri would be here, waiting.