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It’s been forty-seven days of tour with Min Ho.
Forty-seven days of travel, adventure, laughter, and learning. Kitty had no idea what she was getting into when she asked Min Ho if she could join him and his family for the summer; never in her wildest dreams could she have anticipated the hard work, the emotions, the late night chats about everything and nothing. Forty-seven nights of growing closer, and slowly becoming resolved to the fact that maybe they will never be more than friends. Kitty would be lying if she said there weren’t moments when she thought maybe, just maybe, there was something there. But forty-seven nights is a long time to pine, and Kitty is growing weary.
“So…how are things with Min Ho?” Lara Jean gives Kitty a knowing look. Kitty’s grown to anticipate this question; LJ’s asked it during every one of their FaceTimes over the past six weeks, yet somehow, Kitty still has no good answer.
“We’re just friends,” Kitty says firmly. “I want him in my life, and maybe our time will come, but I’m happy with this.”
“Be careful, Kitty. Guard your heart.” Kitty frowns, but LJ presses on. “I told myself I didn’t need more too…but it became too much.”
“I don’t get it!” Kitty exclaims. “Being with him should be enough. I love spending time with him. I love talking to him. I love arguing with him. I love hugs with him.” She pauses. “They feel safe. He feels safe.”
LJ laughs gently. “Kitty, you know you just said the word ‘love’ four times, right?”
“Maybe he’s just my best friend. What’s the difference?”
“Fireworks.”
“What?”
“The difference is fireworks.”
Kitty scrunches her nose. “Fireworks?”
LJ nods. “A burst of colour and light and passion.The feeling that you can’t keep it inside anymore. And then once you light the fuse, no force can stop it. And if you let it happen, it’s really beautiful!”
“Lara Jean, you’ve read too many romance novels.”
“I’ve read exactly the right number of romance novels,” LJ says. “Also, I’ve felt it. Remember John Ambrose?”
“You had fireworks with him?” Kitty rejects this concept. Lara Jean is meant to be with Peter, and always has been. Their time apart was tumultuous - for LJ, but also for Kitty. What good is a matchmaker if she can’t even find a good match for her sister?
“No. That’s exactly it,” LJ says, shaking her head. “I didn’t. I built it all up in my head and then, we kissed and…it was wrong.”
“But Peter?”
LJ smiles, a dreamy, hopeful smile. “Oh yeah, there were fireworks. Peter brought the whole damn show.” She looks at Kitty intently. “Don’t settle for someone who never gives you fireworks.”
Kitty can’t help but smile, even if she doesn’t quite understand what her sister means.
Busan at night is even more beautiful than Kitty had imagined.
As they walk along Gwangalli Beach, Kitty watches the bridge before her. Its colours shift every few minutes, reflecting in the gentle waves as they lap on the crescent shore. “This is gorgeous,” she says quietly.
Min Ho nods. “I wouldn’t be a very good host if I didn’t take you to see some of Korea’s biggest draws, now would I?” he says with a smile.
“You’ve shown me so much!” Kitty exclaims. “I feel so lucky that you’ve been by me every step of the way. I hope I haven’t been too annoying.”
“Well….” Min Ho says, a twinkle in his eye, and Kitty smacks him. “Hey!”
Kitty laughs as they continue to walk down the beach. She doesn’t know how or why, but their steps always fall in sync, even though his legs are much longer. She doesn’t push herself faster to walk with him, nor does he drag to wait for her. It’s just that moving together is natural. They’re in tune. Life with Min Ho is easy in so many ways. That is, it’s easy until the doubt sinks in, the doubt of whether he wants more, whether they can be together. Then, it gets hard.
“How are you feeling about going back to school?” he asks, breaking their comfortable silence.
“Well, I’m planning to spend a lot of time in Bukjeong, practicing my Korean. Soo-ja will be excited that I know more now.”
“You know that she won’t be impressed by you just singing the entirety of Joon Ho’s Korean discography, right?”
“Ha ha, very funny,” Kitty rolls her eyes, then switches to Korean. “And she wouldn’t be impressed by you being an ass either.” She grins as Min Ho responds in feigned shock and woundedness.
“Insulting me in my native tongue? I’m appalled.” He responds in Korean, “But you did well. You’re trying, and it’s getting better.
“I have you to thank for that,” Kitty responds, still in Korean. He slows his step, meeting her eyes.
“I’m glad I could help.”
For a moment, as their eyes meet, there’s a feeling in the air. Kitty remembers reading about a person who was struck by lightning. In the moments leading up to the strike, the air felt peculiar, like a current of electricity coursing through it. The birds fell quiet, and there was a tingling sensation on their skin, before the thunder rolled, and light flashed from the sky. Kitty feels all these things, but the only thunder is her heart pounding in her chest, and the electricity seems localized to just them. This doesn’t feel like friendship. It feels almost like —
“Look, fireworks!” Min Ho exclaims, breaking his gaze and pointing towards the bridge.
With vibrant arcs of colour and light, the fireworks sparkle and spin beneath the bridge. Over the Suyeong Bay, explosions of light dance as they crest the air. Fireworks, just like LJ said. Except these ones are literal. For a moment, Kitty can’t tear her eyes away, in awe of the spectacle before her.
“Are there always fireworks, or are they celebrating something tonight?” Kitty asks.
“Not always,” Min Ho says, shaking his head. “They must be for you.”
“For me?” Kitty asks, scrunching her nose.
“It’s the last night you’re on the tour. It needed something. Something to celebrate you surviving.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well the first time I saw you on a stage I literally had to save you from fire.” Of course, the fan dance. That whole day was a disaster, from the fight with Yuri, to the break up with Dae, and, of course, the fireworks. It’s ironic, really, that Madison’s fireworks have come full circle. Full circle, to this.
“At least you don’t have to save me now.”
“You’ve gotten better at saving yourself,” Min Ho says, his gaze still on the lights. “You don’t need me anymore.”
Kitty scoffs. “Of course I need you. Who else would be my tour guide extraordinaire, my translator, my…” She trails off, the words feeling strangely familiar on her lips. Her person. It suits him, even if she doesn’t dare to say it aloud.
“Your what?” he asks carefully.
“My…friend, obviously,” Kitty says, covering quickly, heat rising to her cheeks. They’re friends. It’s true. But it’s not the whole truth, is it? Has she been lying to herself this whole summer, lying that she’s really okay not being more?
“Mmm…” Min Ho murmurs, a sound of mild discontent.
They stand quietly, eyes reflecting the lights before them, words hanging in the air. Kitty casts her gaze to Min Ho, only to realize he’s not watching the fireworks anymore. It seems as though he’s been watching them through her eyes all along. As she turns to him, their eyes lock, immediately.
“Thank you for taking me here,” Kitty says genuinely. “It’s beautiful. There’s so much of the world to see. I can’t believe this is the last day on tour. I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss…you.”
She meets his eyes, and before she knows it, he’s swept her into a hug. The intimate, comforting, hug that makes Kitty almost believe that LJ could be right. It’s like each time they touch, electricity courses through her, a hidden charge connecting them. And, each time they hug, the tension seems to be growing: he holds her a little tighter, a little longer. Even as they break apart, they stay close, eyes still locked in their usual, intimate dance.
Kitty can barely hear the crackles and bangs of the fireworks over the sound of her own heart beating. She can hardly see the brilliance of the lit bridge, the lapping waters, because all she can see is him , illuminated in the blue lights. As she stares into his eyes, sparks of light reflect back at her. The fuse has been waiting, and, this, could this be, the spark?
Kitty knows this dance well: the searching, the silence, the way he always turns away at the last second. Is it self-preservation? Fear? Uncertainty? Kitty doesn’t know. But this time, it’s different.
This time, Kitty leans in. She feels his breath catch as their lips meet. She kisses him gently, hopeful. His lips yield to hers, tentative, almost as if he’s asking ‘ is this alright? Are you sure?’
Kitty leans back, heart pounding. Her mind swirls with thoughts as they search each others’ faces, neither wanting to be the first to break the moment. Has she made a mistake? Has she ruined everything? Sure, he technically kissed back, but is that not just human nature? There’s an intangible feeling swirling around them. Her hands are in his, she realizes, like a a thread of electricity between them, connecting them. He drops one hand, and reaches to brush her hair from her eyes. His hand caresses her face, as she feels the same warm breeze whip around them, kissing her skin. He smiles, a sweet smile.
And then he kisses her.
There are no more carefully measured responses, no more restraint. All the questions of the last year come crashing down and each kiss is an answer: a beautiful, explosive answer, bursting forth with light and colour, a firework show of their own design. With a warmth in her chest, Kitty lets herself melt into his embrace. The world quiets around them as time slows to the steady beat of their hearts in sync.
When they finally pull apart, the last of the fireworks shimmer over the bay, a finale of colour and joy. Min Ho’s hand finds hers, grounding her in his steady presence. She leans her head against his shoulder, a smile teasing her face as the lights fade before them, leaving only the gentle glow of the bridge and the stars above. Grateful, Kitty lets the silence embrace them comfortably, but there’s still one question she can’t leave unspoken.
“I have to ask you something,” Kitty says, her voice much less casual than she’d intended.
“Anything,” he responds.
“Are you still swearing off relationships?”
Immediately, he laughs, looking at her. “Covey,” he says simply, his tone affectionate. He presses another kiss to her lips before saying quietly, “I was never swearing off you.”
"Hey, who said I was asking about me? I've got this friend..." Kitty jokes, but before she can finish, he kisses her again.
“Tell your friend I’m taken.”
And just like that, Kitty finally understands fireworks.