Chapter Text
It wasn’t clear when things had gotten so set in stone. When he was asked if he had a plan, he always answered as honestly as he could.
“I don’t have a plan for anything.”
It was so true that it came back full circle to reveal a concerning answer to the question. No one seemed to pick up on it, and he was too ill to understand it himself.
He didn’t have a plan.
He didn’t have a plan to get better, or a plan to get more food when he ran out. He didn’t have a plan to ask for help.
He didn’t feel hunger.
He wasn’t keeping up with his shows or his games. If there were new episodes or updates, they often caught him by surprise.
Friends were busy, always busy. Maybe he saw them a couple times a year.
He was the only one that hadn’t succeeded, that didn’t have a family waiting for him. So much promise, but nothing to show for it.
There were no plans as there was nothing to plan for.
Jin looked down at the pants that no longer fit. He tightened the drawstring, but it was pointless. He stayed motionless for a while, eyes vacant as he let the pair fall to the floor. He stepped out of them without a thought. His underwear had trouble staying on, but he didn’t see the point in caring about it.
He wasn’t going anywhere.
He went back into bed, the pants in the foreground of where he stared as he spaced out.
The moon was at his window when he turned over to face the wall in his bedroom.
His eyes soon closed.
He couldn’t remember the last time he slept more than a couple of hours at a time, nor a day when he didn't nap every four hours.
Two message notifications went off on his phone. It was a sound he had not heard in a long time. A part of him assumed it was spam, but another part of him wondered if maybe someone wanted to talk to him. He lifted his weak body to get a better look of his room to see if he could spot his phone, but it was all a disaster. If he really wanted to find out who it was, he would have to unearth his phone.
He decided to let it go and let his bones tumble back down. However, twenty minutes later he made his way over to where he had heard the noise. It took some time, but he found his phone, surprised that it was an unlisted number.
Hey, I’m by the river.
What are you up to?
There was a little tiny ember of hope that it was someone he knew that changed their number and had forgotten to let him know.
I don’t recognize this number. Who is this?
It wasn’t long before Jin received a reply.
You just emailed me to text you with your new number.
Now he was really confused. Either the person really had the wrong number, or Jin was sending out messages without knowing. With his current state of mind he wasn’t sure what was reality anymore.
A gorgeous sunset reflected over water was sent to him next. It looked like the most beautiful sliver of a world he hadn’t seen in a long time.
That was how it all started.
That was how Joon saved his life without knowing it.
Days later the two were still texting. The mixup had been over one wrong digit in the number he had typed into his phone. Despite that, the man didn’t stop texting him. Jin didn’t stop responding either.
There was something about their conversations that made them hard to ignore. They were simple exchanges of small talk, but Joon also seemed to be just as invested in them. He wondered what life the man led, that had him cling like Jin.
–
Namjoon was a well-established man in his career. Coming from a wealthy and influential family, he followed the fool-proof plan set by his parents and their parent's parents. He used everything he was blessed with to get to this point as soon as he could. His plan was to retire earlier than most people while having done some good in the world before then. Although it hadn't seemed like it in his pubescent years, he had grown into his family's looks in adulthood. He was tall, naturally on the sturdier side, but he worked hard to make sure it looked balanced with his diet and exercise. He was a very sought after bachelor in many ways. But Namjoon had certain needs, and due to the position of his family, he didn't want those things exposed. He made sure to satisfy those needs with the most discretion and NDAs.
Aside from that, he led a very fulfilling social life. He had many connections, and as an extrovert, he loved the networking he had to do. Even better, he had very close friends he could actually rely on. Two men that truly took care of his heart and their friendship. And yet... Underneath all of those things he felt a little lonely, a little like his heart was too big.
There wasn't enough to pour it into.
He volunteered at shelters, and even fostered when he was home more often, but there was a disconnect inside him. He couldn't figure out how to address it. He assumed it had to do a little with some of his certain likes, but he wasn't sure. Which was why on a random work week he canceled his day and sat by the river as he liked to do, trying to figure out what to do about that feeling.
It was that day that he had met Jin, and his entire life tilted on its axis.
He was well aware that Jin was, if not in a depressive episode, experiencing depressive symptoms. What he didn’t know was how serious it ran, but he understood it wasn’t a simple case of sadness.
Jin’s demeanor resonated with him, and he inappropriately decided to take responsibility. His heart had found someone to finally pour into, platonically of course. It was fraternal more than anything.
Now, his mornings began with a good morning text to Jin, and an unsolicited update on his own morning. He shared pictures of his Ryan plushies, or the books he was reading. Really, he was grasping at whatever gave him a response.
Jin liked his plushies.
How old are you?
Namjoon had been waiting for the question, but he laughed when it was sent after he shared his army of Ryans.
Born 94
You?
It wasn’t until he was ready to head out for work that he received a response.
Two years older than you.
He wasn’t expecting that, but it colored in more of the mystery that was Jin.
Damn. Why am I always the youngest? My closest friends are older than me as well.
Does this mean I can come to you for guidance, because you have more wisdom?
The reply came in quick, and it made Namjoon laugh. He could almost feel Jin starting to thaw out.
What could I have learned with those two extra years? I’m not 10 years older than you!
Namjoon sent back some obnoxious emojis and put his phone away.
There was hope.