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It's One of the Hardest Things

Summary:

"She left Konoha. She left you. What makes you think anything she's said up to this point is the truth?" Kakashi never meant to fall in love with her. That was his first mistake. The second was letting her go. A woman of her particular skill set left a trail of broken hearts in her wake, and he was no exception. Seven years later, he could only hope that much had changed about her.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

Prologue:
“Set it down more carefully, Tanak.”

She glowered at the older woman, picking the porcelain teapot back up and placing it in the middle of the table slower than she had before. With the top, off she watched the dark green water slosh a bit, which earned a ‘tsk’ of disapproval. Clenching then unclenching her fists, she took a deep breath and cradled the pot back into her hands, lifting it just above the table and back towards her chest. She steadied her breathing, waiting for the water to still before trying once again to set it on the metal trivet of intersecting vines and leaves. Sweat formed at the edge of her hair, but she breathed a sigh of relief when the tea didn’t slosh on the inside.

“Much better.”

Tanak smiled, staring at her palms, “It’s difficult to control my chakra and steady the water…”

Chiasa patted her on the head, “You’re starting young. In a few years, this will be child’s play.”

“In a few years I’ll be even prettier.” Tanak tossed her already waist length ivory hair over her shoulder, “And then you can teach me about flirting-”

“You’re getting ahead of yourself.” She stared down at the little girl, no more than six years old, “And where did you get such an idea?”

Tanak shrugged, “There was a book in your drawer.”

“You shouldn’t snoop through other peoples’ belongings.” Chiasa sighed, “You can concern yourself with those techniques when you’re older.”

“How much older?”

“After puberty.”

“What if I’m good at it before that?”

Chiasa’s brow furrowed, lips pursed, “I hope for your sake that you aren’t.” Tanak grumbled something under her breath, trying to stomp off, but her guardian’s voice stopped her, “Not so fast. You need to practice your koto playing.”

“Why can’t I work on ninjutsu instead of that stupid instrument?” Tanak pouted.

Chiasa shook her head, “Weren’t you the one trying to get ahead in these studies?”

“What does playing an instrument have to do with being a kunoichi?”

Chiasa walked across the room, picking the instrument up and lying it across her lap as she sat on the floor. Beckoning Tanak over, she slid the picks onto her thumb, index, and middle finger on her right hand, “What I am teaching you is an art that most kunoichi don’t study. There are very few of us who exist in this sphere of espionage.”

“So what exactly is this art?”

Chiasa smiled while plucking a soft song across the koto, fingers sliding back and forth across the thirteen strings. The tune sounded sad, reminding Tanak of cherry blossoms slowly emptying from a tree in midwinter, petals lost in piles of snow, “It’s the art of beauty.” Chiasa’s fingers plucked higher notes, the beat skipping to sounds of spring awakening, wildflowers blowing in the breeze, birds harmonizing on tree branches, “As women we are told that our gender is a weakness. There are those of us who deny such a claim, and have turned that perceived weakness into a strength.”

Tanak was mesmerized by how smoothly her fingers flew across the koto, “How?”

“By using our bodies as our greatest weapons.” Chiasa stopped playing, “Whether men admit it, they are drawn to the hidden sexuality inside a woman. They want to be loved and admired, to be told they are the great conquerors of our bodies.” Tanak blushed a little, which made Chiasa laugh, “But that is our strength. Men are at their weakest during sex. A woman can glean information from a man lulled by her seductive nature.”

Tanak willingly took the koto as it was handed to her, setting the picks on her thumb, index, and middle finger. She started playing a simpler tune to warm up, “And I can become masterful at seduction?”

“If you are willing to learn.” Chiasa adjusted how her hands hovered over the instrument, “But the first step is learning to seduce without touching a man.” She smiled as Tanak’s fingers moved more freely across the strings, “Make him desire you as the beautiful, porcelain doll he has never been allowed to touch. But when he finally does…” Chiasa paused while watching Tanak close her eyes, letting herself become the music itself, the steady beating heart that waits in earnest for its first kiss, its first taste of affection, “…he will deny you nothing.”