Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Wow, you lost badly, huh?" Seongje's voice comes through the blaring throbbing inside Baekjin's head, entertained and mocking. He doesn't turn his head to grant the question with a response, instead staring at the ceiling from the sofa he laid on. Of course, Seonje had let himself in with the spare key Baekjin had once gave it to him in the hopes of Seongje never getting to use it. God forbid, the day had come. And the worst part was that the day was when Baekjin was severely unwell. Or, more accurately, injured.

Baekjin glanced sideways once the boy's figure appeared behind the coffee table, his hands positioned in his pockets as he stared down at Baekjin. Baekjin stayed silent. He thought about the fight again. About Humin. His friend. The plan—however cracked and pathetic that it was—coming to rescue them in the end. Succeeding, shockingly. He shuffled on the couch to lay on his side, facing the back of the couch, a silent invitation for Seongje to leave him alone. He didn't need him to rub salt on his wounds, or worse, let him get under his skin. His head was already fuzzy, and he couldn't tell if he was overwhelmed with feelings or if he didn't feel anything at all.

Seongje was unbothered by his movement, though, it seemed. Because he heard him sit down on the opposite cushioned chair and yawn. "You know, I was contemplating if I should really come here. But then I decided, yeah, I should. See how bad you're rotting. Pretty bad." He hummed, and even without turning to his head, Baekjin could see him nodding in that fake thoughtful way he often did. "What? Not gonna talk to me?" He scoffed and then stood up, strolling to stand beside Baekjin's turned away back. He leaned over curiously and caught the glare Baekjin was giving him, a gummy grin already making way on his lips.

"What do you want?" Baekjin gritted out. It hurt to speak, hurt to even clench his jaw. It must be fun for Seongje to see him like this, weak and pitiful. Of course it would be, why wouldn't it? After that night Seongje got in to a fight with Sieun, they hadn't spoke once. Ignored calls and hateful glances. And now, the first time they see each other again, the leader of the Union was beaten up and laughably pathetic. Like a dog who thought he could become a tiger.

Seongje didn't respond, staring at his face with squinted eyes. His finger came up to poke at Baekjin's left swollen eye, and Baekjin hissed, his hand flying automatically to punch Seongje's chin. The motion was awkward. It made ribs hurt and his fingers writhe in pain, but it got the job done. Seongje grunted and leaped back with his hand attached to his jaw as Baekjin sat up. "Fuck. Still got fight in you after all that?" He said, walking to the kitchen.

Baekjin watched him with an unamused gaze while Seongje got out an ice pack and held it under his chin with one hand, returning to the living room with a smirk. Why he was here, Baekjin still didn't have an answer to. And he resisted the urge to stand up and shove him out of his apartment, but it all hurt too much to do. The sitting, the lying down, the eating. He hadn't ate a meal in two days, finding an apple to munch on. Sour and already on its way to rotting, but it had gotten his stomach quiet, so he had considered it a success. But now, his throat parched, and the hollow inside his stomach threatened to start carving him from inside out again.

"Leave." Baekjin ordered, his voice a dry whisper, all of the power it used to carry gone, leaving behind a tone of desperation and helpless. He hated everything about the situation he was faced with in the present, but most of all, he hated how much it broke his will to get up again. To not give up. But it was as if the universe was doing everything in its power to keep him there, seated on his couch, like a fucking stone. And the one prominent way he was being kept there was by being in Seongje's presence. He didn't want to show any weakness. Couldn't, if Seongje still considered him to be their leader. His leader. He wasn't sure that was the case anymore. Not after the fight, and how he ended up losing miserably. Miserable, it wasn't a word he'd use to describe himself. But it was the only word that he could use in the present to express what he felt. He wasn't about to get up on his feet wobbly, barely able to hold himself, while Seongje watched him in twisted glee, enjoying every moment of pain that shot through his legs.

Seongje looked at him with an eyebrow raised, tilting his head to the side. He placed the ice pack on the coffee table and leaned down until his face was in front of Baekjin's. Baekjin held his gaze silently. "You sure? Don't want help with standing up or anything?" Seongje asks, a gleam in his eyes that told Baekjin his intentions were the opposite of kindness, tone thinly veined. The bastard.

The next punch Baekjin tries to throw is blocked by Seongje's warm hand covering his cold fist, pulling it away from his fist with a chuckle. "So predictable." Seongje murmurs. And at that moment, Baekjin's stomach decides to growl with hunger, and he tenses, his fist moving to rest by his side again. He looks away and takes grasp of the couch rest to get up on his feet. He has to eat if he wants any chance of living, although death seemed more appealing due to a particular someone's presence. Seongje moves to the left, watching him get up. When Baekjin's knees quiver with weakness, Seongje's hand shoots out to grasp his arm to steady him despite himself. Baekjin is clearly annoyed judging by his expression, but doesn't say anything. Doesn't do anything. He lets Seongje's hand steady him and then trudges forward on his own, Seongje's hand falling off naturally. He hears a snort. "Ungrateful as always. What are you going to eat, mhmm? If you ask nicely, I'll get us some ramen." He says teasingly.

"Fuck off."

"Asshole. Fucking fine. Rot away." Seongje spits. Baekjin hears the slam of the front door behind him and sighs.

Finally, some very needed quiet.

He looks in the cabinets and finds the last bowl of chicken ramen. His hands shake as he boils some water and pours it into the cup, placing the jug with a loud thud once he's done. He grips the counter edge as his knees start shaking and takes a few deep breaths.

The steam rises from the cup as he sits down on the couch again and leans back. When the noodles are ready, he picks up the chopsticks. It takes more than a few tries to have them in his grip, but he manages to keep them from falling down and takes a first bite, sighing in satisfaction.

Baekjin rarely called food outright 'pleasurable', but it was different this time. The ramen was more than pleasurable, it was divine. A comfort amidst the chaos. He finished it all in less than ten minutes and still felt hungry. In the end, he decided a bottle of water was enough to fill in that last bit of hunger.

All he wanted to do these days was sleep. However, sleep rarely came easy. Even when he wasn't so brutally wounded, sleep still proved to be a problem. More nights than he could count, he woke up with cold sweat on his forehead, disturbing nightmares of his childhood, Humin, tossing and turning all night thinking if he could've done something different and still have his ex best friend by his side. Anger, regret, guilt, frustration. Repeat. Mix that with the ever so striking pain. Pain wasn't ever a problem for Baekjin. It was always just there after Humin wasn't there anymore, but the physical pain was another story. It prevented him from doing things he normally could without feeling like he needed to be dragged up and around by another person. So helplessly weak and shameful. Embarrassing, especially if the person he could think of who would help him was Seongje. No, he would never ask him for help. He'd rather kill himself.

The next morning, however, another problem rose. Baekjin had manages to get himself clean the first day by giving himself a somewhat of a sponge bath. He'd done the same yesterday as well, but today, he felt more dirty than when he hadn't taken those sponge baths. He refused to go to a hospital. They would keep him there for an unnecessarily long time and pester him all day with questions of his wellness. He wanted to be left alone.

Baekjin managed to get himself out of the bed slowly, supported by the walls and to the bathroom. He even managed to brush his teeth—if taking toothpaste on to your finger and moving it back and forth in a depressing manner counts for anything. The main issue was taking his top off his upper body and over his head. His ribs wailed in pain whenever he reached the point of sliding it over his shoulders, blood rushing to his head, making him feel dizzy. He stumbled, arm dropping as he leaned against the counter, clenching his jaw. Every single fucking bone hurt in his body. And he wondered if killing himself and getting over it would be easier. Baekjin heard footsteps before the person opened the bathroom door, letting themself in without permission. Only one person he knew would do that. Seongje. He glared at the boy from the mirror, Seongje's signature taunting smirk in place.

"Need help, leader?" He asked, eyebrows frowned in faux concern, head cocked to the side. Baekjin didn't say anything. He ignored him and tried to raise the shirt past his shoulders without his hand immediately giving out. Pain shot through his side, and he sharply inhaled, arm coming down to clutch the edge once again. Seongje's eyes flickered with something, his expression sobering slightly. His hands lifted and landed on the shirt that was rolled up to Baekjin's upper back. Baekjin's body tensed in a split second, head soaring up to look at Seongje in the mirror. "Up." Seongje said, tugging the shirt with his hands. Baekjin pushed him to the wall with all the strength that he could muster, which was close to none, but it got Seongje's hands off of him. Seongje snorted, shaking his head.

Baekjin should fight harder. Say something more than just the stubborn silence that he refused to break between them. He didn't give up though, he tried to raise the shirt and got it off one of his shoulders, grunting.

"Very impressive." Seongje clapped behind him, sounding bored. Why he still stood there watching Baekjin try and fail was a mystery to the stoic boy.

Getting the shirt off of one of his shoulders was all Baekjin's body could handle, it seemed, because his arm no longer could even lift slightly, fingers shaking with a concerning intensity. Seongje took (surprising) silent pity on him and helped get the shirt fully off. He left once Baekjin was in the bathtub. Baekjin sighed and closed his eyes, tilting his head back against the cool wall. He could already feel the long, grueling day ahead.

Seongje comes back to "check" on him after half an hour passes him without him getting out of the bathroom, probably to make sure Baekjin didn't die in the fucking bathtub. Now, that would be a story to tell. He leans in through the open door, eyeing Baekjin, whose eyes are closed. "Only you'd fall asleep in a bathtub." He snickered. Baekjin's eyes opened, and he could feel another headache coming already. He sighed, embracing the wall to get himself up. Seongje watched him, took his towel and offered it to him. Baekjin glanced down at it, at Seongje, then back down at the stretched arm. His hand rose to receive it, but the towel retreated. "Say 'please' first." Seongje smiled with his eyes.

Baekjin just stared at him. Seongje waited a beat. Another. He dropped the towel on the ground.

This must be hell, Baekjin thought.

After he got dressed in to some pajamas, he made his way to the kitchen, only to see Seongje leaning against the counter, scrolling on his phone while he ate from a ramen bowl, kimchi on the side. He didn't look up when Baekjin walked past him to see if he could find something in the fridge. "Your share's on the dining table." Seongje said. Baekjin glanced out at the kitchen at the dining table and indeed there was a takeout bag perched in the center. His stomach growled. It was almost afternoon, but Baekjin knew if circumstances were different, he'd never be having ramen for lunch. He liked to keep his diet predominantly healthy. This was an unusual he had to get used to. He sat down at the table and picked up the chopsticks, slightly better grip than yesterday, proven by the medication he took just after he woke up, because he didn't know if he'd find anything to eat later and take the pills then.

Seongje brings his own food to the table and takes a seat across Baekjin. Baekjin almost wanted to say it felt like the 'old times' if he weren't so repulsed by such cliches. He wanted to thank the other boy, but then again, Baekjin didn't tell him to do all this. He was doing it out of his own will. Seongje finished eating and crossed his arms, eyeing Baekjin while he ate a bit more slowly. "Mr. Choi came at the alley today."

Baekjin's shoulders tensed, swallowing his current bite. He looked at Seongje and waited for him to continue. Seongje leaned forward with his arms crossed, placing them on the table between them. "Asked me to take your place. Become the union leader." Of course he did. The man had never seen him as enough.  'Not even at taking beatings' Mr. Choi had said after his men had beat Baekjin up, his body lying limp on the floor, cold and utterly useless. And now that Baekjin was no longer in good shape—to no fault of his own—Mr. Choi had to find a replacement.

He didn't want to ask if Seongje accepted the proposal, knowing he must have. "Congratulations." He said dryly, his expression trained to be expressionless, despite feeling bitter fury and disappointment inside. He took a last bite of his ramen before pushing it aside.

Seongje laughed, humorlessly, clicking his tongue. "You think I took it? You fucker, I've been nothing but loyal to you for years." There was a hint of that same hurt in there from the night a few days ago. And it made Baekjin look at him, really look at him. Not a glare, but a normal look. He knew Seongje was loyal. The most loyal of anyone in the union. He knew that, but he didn't expect him to deny the offer, considering the fact that Seongje was angry with him for the past few days for what happened. For not caring about his right-hand boy. And he'd be fair to be upset and take the offer, he'd have expected such an outcome. What he didn't expect, though, was this. This relentless loyalty that made him feel a pang in his chest, not the hurtful kind, the kind that warmed its way inside his heart, made a home, stayed there to defeat his denial.

Baekjin wasn't sure how to respond. He was, for once in his lifetime, speechless out of unwillingness. A rare occurrence. He willed his eyes to return to the same cold distant stare it held, not before Songje noticed the slight softening. Seongje's own eyes softened a little in response, eyebrows rising silently in surprise. "Why?" Baekjin asked, because he didn't know what else to say. And because somewhere deep down, he wanted to know.

Seongje thought about it for a long minute. Why not take the position? Why not get back at Baekjin and tell him to go fuck himself? Why not have the other gangs under him and be the one to order them around?

He smirked, pushing the unsaid feelings down. "Because I didn't wanna. Why else?" He shifted. It wasn't because he still considered Baekjin as his leader. No. Even he himself wasn't sure why he didn't accept the offer, but what he did know was that he wasn't so vain as to take advantage of Baekjin's situation. When he was at his weakest. If Seongje really wanted the position, he'd fight him fair and square to get it.

Baekjin understood the words unspoken though, regardless of what Seongje said. Seongje wasn't someone who'd come at you at your weakest, that's not his style. His ego was too big for that. He'd want to take pride in knowing that he beat the union leader when he wasn't so broken.

He got up on his feet and took the containers with him to throw them away. When he came back, Seongje was gone from the table and on the sofa, sprawled out, like he was the one in need of rest and not Baekjin. "Get up." Baekjin said, even though he could just go to his bedroom and lock himself inside and not have to deal with Seongje anymore. He decided to indulge him. After all, staying at home all day bored him.

Seongje grinned up at him lazily. "No." He made himself more comfortable. Baekjin caught a peek of his collarbone as his hoodie shifted, pale and a tiny mole on the side.

Baekjin exhaled through his nose. "This is my house. Act like a guest."

"You can sit on my lap if you want, but I'm not getting up."

"Tempting." Baekjin mustered all sarcasm into the word, taking a seat across him in the armchair.

Seongje only seemed more entertained by the response. Baekjin rolled his eyes. His eyes got heavy as he watched Seongje take out a cigarette and pop it between his lips, looking around for his lighter and then lighting it. "Don't smoke in my apartment." He mumbles, but he's not sure if he's said it out loud. Or if it was even loud enough for Seongje to hear him. Nevertheless, sleep closed in on him.

Chapter Text

Baekjin didn't like the way he was getting used to having Seongje idling around his apartment. His space that he was very protective of. It wasn't a comforting thought by any means, in fact, it only alarmed him. But what could he do? It wasn't like he was getting any other human interaction anyway. And Seongje wouldn't stop barging in just because he told him to. So he stayed unbothered whenever Seongje quietly let himself in.

He noticed his sleep at night had somehow improved, no longer waking up every two hours like he used to. He dreamt a lot. It was strange, because he wasn't a person who normally had many dreams. He figured it was because of the painkillers he took that were influencing his subconscious.

The dreams often made no sense naturally. Some of them were extremely strange, like the one he had last night where instead of Humin, Seongje was there, teaching him how to fight. Even at that age, Seongje had the same spark that he carried now. All snark and crude jokes, but somehow, him and Baekjin were getting along in the dream. And for whatever reason, Baekjin was referring to him as 'hyeong', however ridiculous that sounded. The dream came to an end when suddenly, Seongje was running away from him while he stood still, his knuckles bloody.

He woke up with goosebumps breaking out on his exposed arms. He got up and drowned a cup of water before walking to the bathroom to get fresh. Once he was done—only took half an hour this time, a record—he went to the kitchen to find something to eat. There were some leftovers from last night that Seongje bought, and he made quick work with it now that his hands were finally functioning in the way that was intended.

Baekjin wasn't expecting Seongje. He wasn't looking forward to seeing him or anything. But when he glanced at the clock, it showed one in the afternoon, and there wasn't a nagging voice following him around the apartment. It almost felt lonely. Almost. He didn't know where the idiot was, and he tried to tell himself that he didn't care. Couldn't care less if he was dead. But of course, that wasn't true. He suspected the meds were getting to his head and decided to stop taking them more than he needed.

All day, he did nothing. The TV was on as background noise while he laid on the couch, breathing through the aching in his chest. In and out, a cough, cramp, in and out. The cycle continued.

The sun glinted through the shades. He hadn't bothered opening them once since he got home. Too much trouble, too much pain. He wasn't one to drown in self-pity, by any means. That was pathetic. Human. But the fatigue had made him feel as if death was an easier option out. Asking himself how he ended up here. Why it wasn't someone else in his place. Why Humin refused to be by his side, a rejection that continued to burn brighter in his heart each day. Mourning what was never his to begin with. Pitiful.

He wasn't waiting for Seongje to come visit, yet, he felt as if he was being shown up. Had the lengths of Seongje's familiar presence grown so big as to miss him? He didn't bother listening to the answer inside his head, turning up the volume of the TV instead to drown out any unnecessary thoughts.

Sure enough, Seongje didn't show up that day. Or the day after. Baekjin thought he must have gotten annoyed of having to babysit him. His usual morning routine took place with ease. His recovery was going unusually better than he had expected. The wounds around his upper body still hurt, but his legs had gotten a bit more active and were able to hold his weight. His fingers no longer shook as violently when they were pulled under the stress of holding chopsticks or taking his clothes off his body. It was shockingly…pleasant. And he felt lighter. Physically, that is. He wasn't ready to go out into the world just yet. Embarrassment and anger took place when he thought about facing the union or his ex-best friend who hadn't come once to visit. Some wounds never healed, he had learned long ago.

After two days of no-show, Seongje made an appearance in the peak of the afternoon when Baekjin had been deep in sleep. How long Seongje had been sitting there in silence, watching him…Baekjin didn't want to know. It made his stomach flip flop uncomfortably.

"Still alive, eh?" Seongje asked, inhaling from a cigarette and blowing the smoke upwards to the ceiling.

Baekjin stared in silence. Seongje had a bandage on the left side of his forehead, his right hand covered in gazue, while his jaw had a small scar going down to his neck. So, he didn't come because he got into a fight? Why? It wasn't as if Baekjin didn't know he frequently got into petty fights.

As if Seongje was reading his mind, he started telling the story of how he got the bruises(very unprompted from Baekjin), "This gang were holding a party, and they invited the union. Can you believe it? How fucking funny. Anyway, me and the boys showed up…"

Baekjin didn't say anything. He glanced at the coffee table that was acting like an ash tray to Seongje. He really should change the password to his apartment. He listened to Seongje's story and was just about entertained, almost letting out a snort at a particular part—the way Seongje told him was funny, not the boy itself, obviously.

"Some losers went to the principal. I almost beat him up too, the principal." Seongje cackled, a wicked shine in his eyes. The one Baekjin had grown to see so very often. Familiar. Reassuring, if he let himself be honest.

Baekjin tried his hardest not to give a reaction, but ended up smirking out of the corner of his mouth that Seongje couldn't see from his side profile. "You'd have been expelled. If you even care."

"I don't. My old man does."

Baekjin raised a brow. "Has he stopped drinking?"

"Woah, who are you? Na baekjin or some other asshole? Taking an interest in my life." Seongje snorted, amused as he leaned forward on his knees with his arms.

Baekjin gave him a glare and then closed his eyes to go back to sleep.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you. No, he hasn't." His eyes opened. "He beat me up the day you had the fight against Eunjang. Couldn't walk the next day." A pause, a dry chuckle. "If my mom were still alive, she'd be kicking his ass out of the house. You know what he told me? He told me to get a job. Crazy bastard had the nerve to advise me when he doesn't do anything but get drunk and fucking rot away at home all day. One of these days, I might actually stab him with the beer bottles he keeps around. Son of a bitch."

Baekjin knew Seongje didn't have the best situation at home. Had known since the day the black haired boy had joined the union. He knew Mr. Choi was a drunkard, because once, he had followed Seongje back to the alley. They were 15 then. Baekjin had taken care of him, because Seongje wasn't yet good at fighting. The memory makes him feel that same pang again in his chest, and he couldn't tell whether it was because of the memory of the 15 year old scared Seongje or if it was because Baekjin had protected him in a way. It had to be the former.

He didn't know how to give advice to someone else when he couldn't even do it to himself, so he stayed quiet for a few minutes. "Use a kitchen knife if you're going to do it. More precise."

At that, Seongje laughed. Really laughed, a genuine sound from his throat. Baekjin turned his face to him, his eyes holding unsung mirth. "Total psycho." Seongje went on, shaking his head.

"Says you." Baekjin responds faintly, looking back at the TV displaying the latest news, eyes turning back to his normal state of stoic.

Seongje only smirks in return, observing Baekjin's side profile. There was something in the air Seongje couldn't quite pinpoint at. A charged energy that made his insides feel alive. Ignited in intrigue. Baekjin was still himself, of course, but this version of him, he hadn't seen in a really long time. And by a really long time, he means never. It was exciting and enticing. The way Baekjin was indulging him for whatever reason. It sent a sick thrill down his spine.

For the next few hours, they both let silence wash over them. Not the uncomfortable or tense silence they were used to, this was different. Not exactly comfortable but not so suffocating either. Refreshingly new. Seongje continued to be on his phone while Baekjin drifted in and out of sleep. He woke up once to find himself covered flimsily by a blanket, but then again, it could've been just a dream, because the blanket was gone when he woke up again two hours later.

In the evening, Seongje told him he had some errands to run and left, but not before ordering them both some take out half-heartedly(courtesy of Baekjin's wallet that he found in his bedroom, despite Baekjin refusing to tell him where it was, HA!).

Baekjin ate the fried chicken with some water and passed out on the couch.

The next morning, his body screamed with undeniable pain. The kind of pain that he'd never experienced before. Pain that made his eyes water and his limbs wail in agony. Pain that had him writhing on the couch. And he had no idea why it had returned. All he knew was that hours passed in silence, the clock ticking the only cruel reminder of his existence. The pain reduced over time, but by that time, it had already left him breathless and deep in slumber.

Waking up again felt more like a punishment than anything else. If only he could've died in his sleep. He turned his head to his left to see it was striking twelve on dot in the afternoon. Seongje would be here soon, but he couldn't give him the chance of seeing him like this. Weak and despairing. The painkillers were in his bedroom. It would be precisely 20 steps to get there. He'd rather die trying than not try at all.

Crawling was an act of an animal. A bug. A crocodile. A lizard. Not a human. It wasn't an act made for humans. And he realized that once he started doing it. It was even harder than walking. He couldn't get up on his feet right now though, so his knees were all he had. He got to the door and was about to push it open when another hand did it for him. His jaw clenched, body tensing, which only made the aching in his bones more prominent. That didn't help. Nor did having Seongje see him like this, at his worst and humiliated. He didn't move his gaze away from the door handle to know Seongje was wearing another devilish smile on his lips. He could feel he was.

"Never thought I'd see you on your knees in front of me." Joking came easy to Seongje than pity. Pity was disgusting. Pity wasn't what his former boss needed. Pity wasn't something he knew how to give. He could joke, though. That was second nature to him, like eating. Like breathing. Joking was far from sympathy, he felt that that might make it easier for both him and Baekjin to process this situation.

The joke was laced with suggestiveness, and if Baekjin was in any other situation, he wouldn't have appreciated it. But at this moment, he did. And perhaps, that's why he needed to slam his throbbing head into Seongje's stomach. To remind himself and Seongje to not get carried away. Whatever the circumstances might be. It was also just an automatic response. A way for him to ground himself. He heard Seongje curse in pain and double over. Baekjin gripped the door handle and grated his teeth together to stop the yell of pain that threatened to slip out. He was out of breath just by that, leaning against the wall to catch himself.

Seongje kicked the back of Baekjin's knee, and the boy thumped to the floor again, actually letting out a cry as he embraced his hands against the cold tiles.

Seongje seemed to realize his mistake. "Shit, you shouldn't have done that then!" He knelt down beside him, looking at him with his face set in a scowl. Baekjin didn't say anything, breathing heavily. Seongje stood up, watching him. They stayed there like that for more than a few minutes, before Seongje understood the silent message and left the room, closing the door behind him with a click. He cursed himself for kicking Baekjin and then cursed Baekjin for starting it.

Baekjin would dig his own grave then step out of the bathroom. He'd been leaning against the counter edge for the last ten minutes, contemplating if it was worth going out after what had happened. He hoped the humiliation would burn him into the ground six feet deep. It didn't happen. Instead, what he got was an annoying boy named Seongje knocking on the bathroom door loudly, asking if he was dead. "Come out! I made some rice! Like your fucking maid that I've become." He added that last part under his breath, but Baekjin heard it all the same, rolling his eyes.

He opened the door and shoved past the boy, hearing a scoff as he passed. "Ungrateful bastard. You know I could stop coming here and let you just die, right?"

"Why haven't you?" The retort came out thoughtlessly. He didn't want to know the answer. Seongje didn't give him one, only the click click of his tongue in revolt.

Baekjin's share of rice was brought to him as he gulped down two pills in his bedroom and made his way to the dining table. Seongje was already shoveling the food inside his mouth when he looked up with puffed out cheeks. "What? I haven't ate in fucking forever." He says in annoyance.

Baekjin would think it was cute if not for the history he shared with the boy. Seongje wasn't his type, anyway. He took a seat opposite him and quietly started eating. They didn't talk. Just ate in silence like they did last night. It was a change. Or Baekjin thought so.

Chapter Text

"You getting any better? I don't really see any difference, to be honest." Seongje says, assessing him up and down, tilting his head side to side.

Baekjin didn't answer. He knew he was getting a little better, even if it didn't look like it to fucking Seongje. But there was still immeasurable pain, vicious like a snake marking its territory through every inch of muscle in his body, refusing to leave no matter how much he tried to fight against it.

Seongje had worked as Baekjin's right hand man for a few years now, but Baekjin still didn't know what exactly to say to shut the boy up other than silence, which almost never worked. Telling him to 'shut up' outright only encouraged him to not do so.

Baekjin distantly wondered if saying something obnoxious and out of the blue would do the trick. He decided to put it to the test. "You look good today." He attempted to make the words sound genuine. They were, somewhat, to some degree, if you observed Seongje from an objective perspective. For a high school junior, he seemed to excel at making himself exceedingly attractive to look at. Hair that fell just shy of covering his eyes, glasses that fit his face shape perfectly, full lips that many would envy, and a smile that showed his gums and canines. He was very appealing to look at, if you ignored the personality part. What the fuck was Baekjin thinking? He scoffed internally.

When he refocused, away from his thoughts, he saw that, indeed, Seongje had been effectively shut up. His face had sobered into an almost confused expression—something rare of Seongje to be— his eyebrows meeting in the middle while his eyes tried to add up his enemy's intentions. Except this wasn't a fight. Everything he knew and did in fights proved to be useless in this situation. Did Na-Baekjin, the boy that never bat an eye at anyone other than his dear ex best friend, just complimented him? No, that has to be wrong. He must be actually going crazy if he's imagining his former boss saying shit like this. So, he asked for confirmation: "What?"

"You look good today." Baekjin repeated, in his calm, fixed voice, staring straight at him. Perhaps straight through him, because there has to be someone else standing behind him that Baekjin was complimenting. Either that or Baekjin was the one going crazy. Must be all those meds and staying at home, for sure.

Seonjge felt his heart thudding deafeningly against his chest, nonetheless. He felt heat on his cheeks, a puzzling occurrence. No, he wasn't fucking blushing. Gross. Disgusting.

Alright, he knew what this was. It was Baekjin trying to catch him off guard and shut him up. The only way to play along was to do the opposite. "Yeah?" He licked his lips. He told himself to imagine he was talking to a statue of Baekjin and not the real him(very easy to do once you've practiced enough, especially if the said person is Baekjin). It was easier both to get his heart under control and pretend to "flirt". Touche. "Maybe I should dress more often like this." He said, watching Baekjin keenly for his reaction.

Something, whatever it was, flickered in Baekjin's eyes. It was Baekjin's turn to be a little taken aback. He thought he won when his words were met with bewildered silence. He realized it was too early to revel in his victory. What was Seongje doing? Did he know what Baekjin was trying to do? The sly fucker. Of course he did. He was bad at his studies, but Baekjin knew otherwise that he was cunning. The kind of smart that wasn't outright in your face, silent and fierce, but there. Always there. Well, the very brief silence was fun. There was no point in continuing to pursue this experiment.

Baekjin stood up with a hand on the chair to support his weight. He took the rice bowl in his hand to put it in the kitchen sink. Seongje wasn't done, though. He got up swiftly and blocked the way with his body.

All of this was very entertaining to him, apparently. Baekjin regretted his failure of a test.

"What? Thought you'd catch me off guard and shut me up?" He grinned with his teeth. No point in fighting the expected. Baekjin focused on his canines instead. His teeth shone unnaturally white. A pause from Seongje before he leaned in and broke Baekjin's stare. "Think you're so fucking smart, Na Baekjin?"

Baekjin moved his face away and walked around the boy, the undeniable heat from Seongje was nearly too much to handle for a dead corpse such as himself.

When he reached the sink, he almost passed out from the amount of dishes crowding the little space. He turned his head towards Seongje to glare. If Baekjin had to choose the hardest part of being injured and close to immobile, he'd say it was the fact that there was uncleanliness everywhere. In his bedroom, bathroom, kitchen.

The boy raised his eyebrows in response, coming forward to stand beside him. He followed Baekjin's gaze back to the sink and snickered. "Bothered much? Wait—" He said and strolled back to the dining table, returning with his empty rice bowl and putting it in the kitchen. "Now, you may start." He nodded in faux approval.

Gosh, just when Baekjin thought he was getting used to having a living, breathing human version of annoyance, he went ahead and proved him wrong. "This is all your doing. Clean it." He said, firmly, moving past him.

"But aren't I too good looking today to clean, Baekjin-ah?" He asked innocently, a gummy smile in place.

Oh, fuck him. Baekjin was never going to live it down. "Shut up and clean." He murmured, entering his bedroom and closing it with a soft click, Seongje's laughter echoing throughout his apartment.

Days, minutes, seconds, all blend together for Baekjin. His recovery was going exceptionally well at a steady pace. Some days, there was no pain at all, and some, there was immeasurable pain. But everything came to an end at the end of the day when he passed out on his bed. There were noticeable bruises on his body that reflected back at him in the mirror, a reminder of the past, a call to pick up and answer. They didn't mean anything, he convinced himself. They stayed there, however, blooming in different shades of blue, green, and purple. Sometimes a dark red. It felt all the same.

He thought about his grades, school, studying. Everything he had built up for himself over the years had gone to waste because of a single fight. A single day. All it took was that to completely ruin the reputation of being the best student in his school. He asked himself if it really mattered, because at the end of the day, he didn't know if he'd wake up tomorrow or just die in his sleep. Not necessarily from the physical pain, but perhaps from the incessant psychological toll it was taking on his brain. He told himself he could handle it if he could handle having Seongje around him 24/7.

He could finally open his left eye after two weeks and use it to sneak glances at Seongje from the couch when the boy wasn't looking.

Nothing had changed between them, he tried to say to his treacherous mind placing names on what they were. 'Former boss and his right-hand man' was the only exception to whatever they were or could be, any other titles that were supplied by his mind were immediately put to trial and denied.

Baekjin was lying on the couch when he heard the front door open, and someone entered. "You forgot your wallet here yesterday. I've placed it on the dining table." He says, without turning around.

He hears a clearing of throat and instantly his body goes rigid with tension. It wasn't Seongje. Mr. Choi. How did he know the—"I see you've been recovering."

Baekjin clenches his jaw, turning his body, and shifting to sit up. He looks the man in his eyes. Anger is what he feels. Anger is what has been running through his veins. Hot, raging anger that refused to leave. He waited for Mr. Choi to continue and then realized what the older man was here for. "I didn't go to the police." He said.

Mr. Choi raises his eyebrows. "I know." Seongje must've told him. It had come up in a conversation(if Seongje talking to himself most of the time counts), and Baekjin had shook his head quietly, not looking at him.

Baekjin slumped back against the couch. He didn't need to respect the man anymore, he didn't have much to begin with. "What do you want?" He asks, gaze hardening when he sees a smile forming on Mr. Choi's face.

"Tell Keum Seongje to take your position as the union leader." As if it wasn't strange enough that he was standing in Baekjin's apartment uninvited, he was asking Baekjin to tell Seongje to be the union leader. He couldn't decide where exactly his life had gone off the rails. It had to be when he was born.

Why was Mr. Choi asking him, anyway? He could ask anyone in the union, and they'd be accepting the job in a blink—like hungry dogs waiting to be fed, seen. Mr. Choi chuckled, as if sensing his train of thoughts. "I'm asking you because you two are friends, right? He comes to visit you here everyday. Surely, you know it would be good for him to take this job, considering his situation home and everything."

Baekjin refrained his tongue from interrupting when the word 'friends' was used. His jaw twitched. "We're not friends." He told the man. If Mr. Choi knew about Seongje's visits, then it meant he was keeping an eye on him, making sure he doesn't go to the police. Perhaps making sure he never even leaves his apartment. "This doesn't concern me. Talk to him." He said when his last sentence was met with surprised silence.

"Well, then you must know that he rejected the offer."

"And?"

"And, perhaps, you should tell him to reconsider. He's the second best to you, after all."

Baekjin stood up, fists clenching and unclenching by his side with the restraint to not punch the man and stab him. "Leave."

Mr. Choi laughed. "Are you for real, you asshole? I could have my men kill you right now."

"Now." He said, sternly, not backing down. A vein in his forehead flickered. Mr. Choi scoffed in mockery and raised his hand to swing it at Baekjin when a voice spoke up amidst them.

Seongje's voice was a few feet away from Baekjin's when he said in a bored tone, "Stop it." The single word caused Mr. Choi's fierce eyes to turn to him, fist faltering before slowly backing down to his side.

Baekjin continued staring daggers at the man. Mr. Choi gave him a final loathing glance and then turned to Seongje. "The offer still stands, son." He said with a pat on Seongje's shoulder—whose eyes were trained on Baekjin—before taking off.

Baekjin watched the man go before his eyes set on Seongje, who shrugged and came forward with his hands in his pockets. "Maybe I should accept his offer and then back stab the bastard." He laughed quietly, walking past him with a cigarette already making its way between his lips.

Baekjin's body stood taut in the spot, his eyes zeroed in on a spot on the floor. Seongje sat down on the couch Baekjin usually lies on and looks at him while blowing rings of smoke. He took off his glasses and leaned back, an arm stretching out on the back of the couch. There were ticks Baekjin let slip when he was upset vs when he was angry. Right now, it seemed to be both. Hands balled into fists, body stiff, not moving, eyes digging holes at a certain spot, quiet. Not that he wasn't always quiet, this kind of quiet just stood out. Electric and blazing whoever it touched. Remarkable. Hot, if Seongje let himself really feel.

And in times like these, Seongje knew what Baekjin needed. Endless space and time. Just letting him be. It was entertaining enough for Seongje to not bother him.

Baekjin resided in his bedroom for the rest of the day. Seongje napped on the couch.

Chapter Text

The next day, Seongje didn't show up until it was time for dinner. The sun was setting outside, the sky decorating in hues of warm orange and pastel pink. It was a beautiful sight. He had opened the curtains that morning, feeling the need for the sun in his apartment.

After doing that, he had gotten to doing small chores, like organizing the dishes that Seongje had misplaced all around the kitchen in different cabinets. It annoyed him to his core but was soothed to know Seongje even bothered to place the things inside. He could have just left them lying around on the counter, knowing him. Why he even bothered to place them in the cabinets at all, Baekjin wouldn't like to know. Perhaps he was bored.

Once he was sure that every spoon and bowl was back in its place, he went to his bedroom and picked up the laundry basket by one hand, dragging it to the laundry machines. He separated the white and dark from the bright ones and started the cycle. Lastly, he vacuumed the carpets both in his bedroom and in the living room and when he was done, stood in silence and admired the neatness for a few minutes, letting out a satisfied exhale.

Seongje hadn't commented once about the state of the apartment since he'd arrived, and it made Baekjin's skin crawl. Not that he craved for approval of his former right-hand man, but it would've been nice to at least get some acknowledgement, even if it was in the form of a snarky comment. He pinched his forearm skin, telling himself to stop thinking such bullshit.

Seongje was alarmingly quiet. And alarmingly quiet for Seongje was a little concerning. Not concerning in the way that Baekjin was wanting to ask him if he's okay. Concerning in the way that made Baekjin curious and uneasy in anticipation of some godawful prank.

They ate the takeout in silence. No conversation. No gummy grins or judgmental remarks thrown around. Baekjin couldn't decide if he loved the quiet or if it made him want to crawl out of his skin. He figured it was both. If Seongje wasn't going to say anything, why was here exactly? Getting on Baekjin's nerves and bothering him all day had become his main source of entertainment, so why be here, in Baekjin's apartment, if he wasn't going to do just that?

The longer the deafening stillness lasted, the more he became sure Seongje wasn't pranking him. That there was seriously something going on that was making the boy's lips slightly pouted, eyes averted, body language closed off, and mind elsewhere.

Baekjin told himself he'd ask him if something was wrong should the silence persist an hour later. He didn't get the chance, because Seongje soon left without sparing him another glance.

That night, Baekjin had a dream. He was in some school with Humin, joking around and shoving each other, light touches, and laughter echoing in the air. His friends were there too, Go Hyontak, Yeon Si-Eun, Seo Jun-Tae. An unfamiliar face that kept by Si-Eun's side. The dream was going normally until Humin and him were in Baekjin's apartment, and Humin laughing at some dumb joke he'd made. Another flash, same scene, with Seongje looking at them outside from the window, standing on air. Baekjin was ignoring him, despite knowing he was there. He closed the curtains when Seongje started banging on the same windows. He turned around and found Humin was gone, his knees gave out suddenly, bloody hands appearing in his vision. His vision went black, not before noticing that Seongje had broken in.

He was awakened by a splash of something. Water, presumably. He cursed, and when his eyes opened, Seongje stood there, smirking. "You kept yelling in your sleep." He commented, casually placing the empty glass on the left bedside table. He sat up and shoved Seongje, still recovering from the nightmare he had—it was too detached from reality to call it a dream.

Seongje chuckled, watching Baekjin breathe slightly heavy. "Shit, you're getting better." He said, feeling the force of the shove. He observed Baekjin not speaking, staring outside the window in his bedroom. The curtains were open. He went ahead and closed them just to annoy the other boy. "Rise and shine, my ass. Go shower, you stink."

Baekjin's eyes slightly widened, the action feeling familiar. Deja Vu. He got up and took a cold shower.

When he returned to the living room, about to walk into the kitchen, he saw Seongje bent over with his hands on his knees, facing away. He blinked. What the fuck was he doing?

"It's a spider," Seongje said, as if sensing Baekjin behind him. Baekjin took an immediate step back.

There were a few things that scared Na Baekjin, and unfortunately, spiders were one of them. Once when he was a kid, Humin brought a "cool" spider to show him, and he'd ran away crying, Humin frowning in confusion and then laughing, following him with the spider. A faint smile appeared at his lips at the memory, before being quickly wiped away by Seongje's voice. "Get rid of it." He said, calmly, his feet moving slightly back subconsciously.

Seongje raised a brow, did a scan over, and then grinned. "Is Na Baekjin scared of spiders?" He snorted, getting up with the small spider on his palm. He made a show of thrusting his palm forward and shoes sliding across the tiles, making a screeching noise. Baekjin stumbled back in alarm, his eyes popping out of his sockets. Very comical. Seongje laughed with his head thrown back. "Hah! The former Union leader is scared of spiders! The boys are going to have a good fucking laugh."

Baekjin clenched his jaw, glowering at him. "Get rid of it. Now." He said, trying to gain back the danger edge his voice used to carry before the fight happened. It, of course, didn't work. If anything, it just encouraged Seongje's sick sense of having fun.

"Oh, so you can beat up humans in a heartbeat and not a fucking spider?" Seongje shook his head, grinning. "Say 'please, hyeong', and maybe I'll throw him out, mhmm?"

Baekjin would rather kill himself than do that. He will kill himself if Seongje doesn't stop. He took another step back, Seongje took another step forward. He attempted to get past him into the kitchen to get a knife(he couldn't fight the fucker with his hands when Seongje had a spider in his palm) and was immediately greeted with the spider in his face. He pulled away fast, backing away. He gritted his teeth, "I'm not going to repeat myself."

Seongje smirked, the spider crawling up his index finger and then stopping to stare at Baekjin. Baekjin willed himself to keep eye contact with it. "Oh but you have. Twice. And I told you, I'd get rid of it if you say the magic words."

Baekjin's leg shot out to kick Seongje away. He managed to do it, only for the spider to fly to his shoulder as Seongje grunted, falling back. "Fuck, so fucking stubborn." Seongje scowled, planting his palms to the ground to stand himself up, dusting off his pants as if the floor wasn't cleaner than he could ever be. And then he noticed Baekjin standing frozen, his hands shaking slightly at his sides, as he held his breath, mouth agape open. Seongje had never seen him like that, and he leaned back against the wall beside him, surveying the sight as if it were the most interesting. "Well, fucking well." He scoffed and then grinned.

Baekjin's only strategy was to stay still and hope the spider took mercy on him(a ridiculous notion) and flew away on its own. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw it move a bit up, and he inhaled sharply, hands twitching at his sides. He looked at Seongje. He was going to kill that bastard.

Seongje strolled forward lazily. "Still don't wanna do it?" He reached out his palm towards Baekjin's shoulder as if to take the spider away, and Baekjin almost sighed in relief. The palm retreated empty. He tensed again.

He couldn't fight the boy in this position. It would only make the spider hold on to him if he moved. He didn't believe in miracles. They didn't happen. But he desperately wanted one to happen right now, a lightening strike, anything that would kill him on the spot. In hindsight, he might just die from the humiliation. That didn't seem much probable. "Please, hyeong." His teeth hurt from the effort it take to say those two words and not break themself.

Seongje's eyes went round in genuine shock. Awe. His breath hitched at the words, his heart rising into his throat, beating willingly. He didn't know Baekjin would actually go through it. But now that he had, it made him feel something he couldn't quite put a name on. He repeated the words in his head again and again while staring at the boy in astonishment.

Baekjin's lips set in a firm line. "Are you going to do it or not?" He asked in irritation, eyes going back and forth from the spider to Seongje.

Seongje cleared his throat and came forward. He held out a finger, and the spider, intrigued, crawled on to it. He threw it in the kitchen trash bin and returned, looking undeniably flustered. Baekjin eyed him for a second and then brushed past him, heaving a quiet sigh. Seongje rolled his eyes. "I didn't bring breakfast."

Baekjin could see that. He went to the pantry just by the refrigerator and looked inside for the rice container. It was almost empty. He set the rice to cooking in the pressure cooker after pouring a cup of water in it.

When he went out, he saw Seongje waiting for him with an evil glee in his eyes. "So, what else is our scary leader afraid of? Snakes? Heights? Storms? Dogs?" He listed off tauntingly.

Baekjin wondered why Seongje kept coming back to check on him or whatever the fuck this was. It couldn't be out of pity(Seongje didn't have any) or even just enjoyment. Certainly, he had to have gotten bored of watching Baekjin writhe in pain after the first week. It couldn't have been that amusing to keep making him return. There had to be something else Seongje was gaining out of this. Something perhaps unrelated to Baekjin. Oh, right. Seongje didn't have any friends. Not in school or in the gang. The way he talked to human beings, that wasn't a surprise. Baekjin knew before this that the younger boy didn't have any "real friends", but he thought surely there must be someone willing to hear him babble. Apparently not.

The real question was, however: Did Seongje consider Baekjin his friend? The thought made him pause, a familiar ache settling in his chest. No, undoubtedly, Seongje didn't think of him as such. They weren't friends. That was laughable. But then again, what were they? What exactly was this? Was it normal to just visit your former boss every day and act like you owned his apartment? More importantly, was it normal for the said former boss to allow his ex right-hand man do such a thing? After all, they no longer were abided by such titles. So, why was he not telling Seongje to stop coming to his home everyday? Had he really gotten that desperate for any touch of humanity that Seongje had become his only hope? Had he let Seongje make a home inside him? The thought was horrifying, made his head heavy, his gaze harden, and his knees quiver. He couldn't be that weak, could he?

It had been almost one and a half months, and he had became confident that what they had was something akin to friendship, whether it be acknowledge by either of them didn't matter. And the fact that their "relationship" —absurd— could only be defined by the word "friendship" made Baekjin feel petrified. Up to this moment, he had let himself feel, not think, feel. Like a fool would. He couldn't fault it on the medications anymore.

All of it was him. Letting Seongje enter into his apartment, bring food, have conversations, let his own mind wander to places, indulge him, think about him even when he wasn't there. How could he have ended up like this. Was he so blind with pain that he had to sought after another one? He had to do something. He couldn't have a friend, especially not one whose name is Seongje. Especially not him, a mirror reflection he'd forever been running away from. Someone who was so like him yet so different. Someone that accepted Baekjin the way he was. Frightening. Besides, friends were just people you didn't instantly turn into enemies in your head. He'd had a friend before, he knew how this would end. Bloodshed, tears, yearning and then Bloodshed, tears, yearning, hatred. All too much to bear it again. Too much to go through with.

And if Seongje really thought Baekjin was his friend, then he'd have to do something to change that.

Baekjin could walk again without the support of the walls. He still had his cast on his left arm and another one around his right calf. He could grip things and get himself in and out of clothes more easily with his right arm. He couldn't fight yet—he won't be able to if he wishes for a full recovery—but he could still reenter the world outside. Be normal. Ordinary. A scoff left his mouth. He slid his feet into his shoes and opened his apartment door. The world, portrayed grand and fascinating in books, was mediocre at best. Nothing had changed around him which made him think he was also still the same. He turned to his right and saw the keypad. It didn't take long to set the new code. Seongje won't be able to enter anymore if he doesn't know the apartment code, even if he has a key.

There. No more second thoughts.

Baekjin was wearing a hoodie with a cap to keep his identity hidden should he run into anyone familiar from the gang or otherwise. He didn't have "places to go" once he was out of recovery(which he's not), so he went to a ramen place 20 minute walk away from his apartment and ate his lunch there. He overheard some fuckers causing the owners trouble, and it almost made him stand up on instinct and throw a punch but realized he wasn't in any condition to fight. He ate his food quietly and left soon with an extra tip on the table where he had sat.

Since he'd left home, it had been two hours. Unread messages sent from Seongje glared at him when he stopped to check on the relentlessly dinging device.

—Where're you?

—Why isn't the code to your apartment working?

—You thought I'd just go in and steal when you're not home?

—You fucker, come home right now

"Home". He was saying that as if it was his home too. Baekjin rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone. He doesn't need to go back to his apartment. He doesn't owe Seongje anything. The boy was smart enough to figure out that Baekjin didn't want him around anymore.

He wandered around for an hour more, sure that Seongje would be gone by now. Indeed, when the elevator doors opened, there was no one standing in the hallway. He gave himself a mental pat on the back, as cliche as that sounded, he deserved it at the moment. He put in the new code and opened the door.

Seongje was lounging on the sofa, watching television with ice cream in his left hand and a spoon in the other, halfway out of his mouth. He tilted his head back, took the spoon out, and grinned at Baekjin with his face upside down. An annoyed frown took its place back on Baekjin's face. How…

"5678? What do you think I am? Fucking dumb?" He tsked out of the corner of his mouth, facing forward again and eating another mouthful of ice cream.

Baekjin sauntered over to the couch and loomed over him. "Get out."

Seongje didn't bat an eye. "Now that you're healthy and moving, you're kicking me out you bastard? I fucking took care of you like a nurse! Show some respect." He grumbled, scowling up at Baekjin, lips almost pouting. He then went back to hogging the ice cream.

"I didn't ask you to." Baekjin responds calmly, taking the remote control and shutting off the television.

Seongje was going to kill this son of a bitch. He was partially coming for free food, but that didn't matter. "Yeah well, your ex lover didn't. Someone had to." He snorted, gathering the last bit of ice cream on his spoon. He had no idea why Baekjin was acting like this all of a sudden, but the only reason he could come up with was because now he could move on his own and therefore get his own food. That didn't mean they couldn't hang-out anymore, right?

Baekjin yanked him up by his collar and gritted out, "Say that again and die."

Seongje's breath fanned over his cheeks when he spoke, "What? You sure acted like he was." A sly grin made its way up his lips. Baekjin thought it was too early to get into a fight. He was proven wrong by himself when his fist came in contact with Seongje's cheek, who stumbled back in surprise, his facing lighting up like a child who's been given a new toy. Seongje swings at him harder and makes him fall on the couch behind him. He gets up with some difficulty.

Seongje smirked, cracking his neck from side to side. "Really think you can fight, huh? Let's see it." Baekjin acted as if he were aiming for his face before punching him in the stomach, Seonje grunted and then headbutted him hard right on his nose, and then everything went dark. Seongje sighed, fixing his shirt. He looked down at Baekjin's body on the carpet and rolled his eyes. He hauled the boy on to the armchair, bunched up some tissues, and made one of Baekjin's hands hold it to his bleeding nose.

He forgot Baekjin was out cold. Fuck, he'll have to do it himself. "So much for an ex-union leader." He murmured, clicking his tongue. He gently held the tissue there for a second, admiring the way Baekijn's eyebrows were still frowned as if his unconscious self was unhappy about it. He took a good look at the boy's face and found it almost soothing to the eyes. All sharp features, shaped eyebrows, monolid eyes, full lips. If Seongje didn't know him, he'd say Baekjin was having professional treatments done to keep it like that. He huffed. "Smug asshole."

Baekjin woke up after a few more minutes and swatted his hand away, glaring at Seongje from where his head lay on the back of the chair. He noticed the bunched tissues on his nose and pulled them away to see them covered in blood. He sighed, got up, and went to the bathroom. Seongje's chuckles could be heard when he got back. "Leave." He said, coming to loom over the boy's form again.

Seongje tilted his head to the side, gazing up at him with an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Humin has his friends. Who do you have? The only human interaction you've gotten for the last three weeks has been with me."

"We're not friends." Baekjin said sternly. He saw Seongje nod in agreement, take off his glasses, and rub his eyes before putting them back on.

"Of course we're not friends. You think I'd want a fucking friend like you?" Seongje laughed maniacally. "We're allies. Assholes trying to survive this crazy world and shit." A dramatic wave of his hand accompanied his words.

That made Baekjin hesitate. Pause. All this time, he'd been trying to fight himself and get rid of his "friend", when in actuality, Seongje just considered him an ally. Yes, they were just allies. Two forces brought together by desperate circumstances that caused them to interact friendly to each other. It made perfect sense. They didn't have to be friends in order to meet up everyday or talk. Allies could very well do that. In fact, they were doing it. Accuracy had never looked so good from someone. He glanced down at Seongje and saw him gazing up at him with a small smirk.

"Well?" He asked, sitting up.

Baekjin glanced away and then back at the boy. "Fine."

"Why did you think I thought of you as a friend?" Seongje questioned, standing up.

Their proximity was close. Too close, less than two feet apart. Baekjin didn't move. "Because you don't have any friends." He explained evenly.

Seongje scoffed and then grinned. "And you do, Na Baekjin? Last time you had a friend, that didn't turn out so great, did it?"

"Constantly using Humin as an example is getting a little old." Baekjin replied, even though he could still feel worn-out anger bubbling under the edges of his skin, ready to spill over should it get too much. But every time Seongje brought Humin up, spat his name in Baekjin's face, Baekjin got stronger at resisting the urge to kill him. He hadn't yet, had he? That was an achievement. He could punch him, however, he didn't feel like it right now. One more spar with Seongje, and he'd undo all the recovery his body had gone through. So the only way to not fight him was to use words and keep his composure.

Seongje perked his eyebrows in mock shock, as if Baekjin had just revealed something unknown to both of them. "Oh, is it? Then why do you get all stiff when his name is mentioned?"

Baekjin stared back at him blankly. "Don't come back here anymore." He said instead.

"Why? Are you afraid that you're beginning to think I'm your friend?" Baekjin hated how much truth was sipping among those words. How much it resonated with him to the core. How much he'd failed himself as a person. How much he'd gone soft, feelings over thinking. How he couldn't recognize the person that stared back at him from the mirror anymore.

He didn't show that to Seongje, of course. Couldn't let him have the upper hand. Couldn't let him win. He pierced the dagger where it hurt. "No, but I'm starting to think you enjoy being needed by me, like a lapdog."

The smile fell off of Seongje's face in an instant like a light switch, a stony expression taking its place. His eyes, usually sparkly with unhidden wickedness, were now two holes of void. And if you stared long enough, hands reached out from the same void and dragged you with them inside those endless pits.

Baekjin knew he'd gotten to him. In a blink, he was slammed into the wall behind him, a hand fitting around his neck, cutting his oxygen supply. He expected the reaction, barely blinking when it happened. Seongje had gotten stronger, or maybe Baekjin had just gotten weak. Both were plausible. He put his hand on Seongje's wrist. Seongje's grip didn't budge in the slightest.

"It's funny you say that. Because if I remember correctly," The fingers press more firmly, making Baekjin let out a quiet, involuntary gasp. "You were the one that always came to me to do your dirty work. You were the one that sent me to give Humin a warning. An invitation. You needed me. And I'm the lapdog? You fucking piece of shit." The words were seethed an inch away from his mouth, acting like a source of oxygen into Baekjin's own.

The reminders weren't enough to shut Baekjin's mouth evidently. "And yet, you keep coming back to check on me like you need a reason to keep living your pathetic life."

Seongje dug his fingers harder into his skin, Baekjin's eyes reddening from the effort it took to breathe through his mouth. A wretched sound left his lips. "At least my life isn't so pathetic as to be beaten up by some 16 year olds and then my boss' men and not be able to walk for weeks."

Baekjin tightened his grip on Seongje's wrist, his eyes slowly turning red. Seongje took mercy on him and pulled away, scoffing in disdain. Baekjin doubled over, blood rushing to his head as his knees finally gave out. Black spots flew in his vision before he passed out.

When he woke up, he was lying on the cold floor on his back. He looked to his left and then to his right. Seongje was nowhere in sight. Good, he's finally left alone.

Chapter Text

After that incident had taken place, Seongje didn't seek out Baekjin. Baekjin did the same. He started going to school again. Not the same one he had been going to before the fight, but another one that resided a 30 minute walk away from his apartment. He had money to last him through his first year of college (if he didn't buy things that weren't of necessity). There was also the money that people owed him, so he didn't have to worry about working right now. Instead, he could focus on his studies and keeping a low profile until he gets to the physique he had previously. It would take time, but that's what he needed. There would be no distractions like the alley and having to keep up a disguised business. No fights. No Seongje.

The new school wasn't like his old one. It didn't have the advanced classes he used to take nor any modern technology to keep up with the world. It was very traditional. He was fine with traditional. He had the mandatory classes during the first five periods in the morning and then the other two were of his choice—electives. He chose to learn violin. He already knew how to play the violin and figured he'd pretend to learn it. There was an entrance exam that he easily passed (it asked about the basic cords and which strings to play for what) before entering the course.

When his music class was over, Baekjin went to cram school for mandatory self-studying—not that he needed to, the school required him to. They'd also required him to bring a parent on his first day at the school, and he'd blinked and told them they were dead. He didn't have an adult he could bring. The lady at the registration desk had looked annoyed at first before apologizing profusely when he mentioned the state of his parents. She told him to keep it between them. Tch. As if Baekjin had anyone to gossip to.

He left cram school at around 9 in the evening and made his way home after a quick stop at a convenience store that was 10 minutes away from his apartment. On his way, he stumbled into one of the boys from the Union. He was one of the minions of Seongje that craved attention over respect. Baekjin looked at him calmly and then made to walk past him only to be stopped by a leg extending. He glanced at him.

"Long time no see, Na Baekjin, eh?" If Baekjin were still the union leader and heard this bastard speaking like this, he would be tasting the dust on the ground.

Baekjin didn't rise to the bait, however. He knew these pathetic losers were always looking for a fight—that's why they were Seongje's minions. He looked down at the boy's leg and then up at him. Of course, he didn't get the hint. Or the warning. He just aimed for Baekjin's face. Baekjin dodge it easily, kneed his stomach, and then punched his face. That was all it took. He adjusted his clothes and was ready to continue on his way when a voice spoke up. He'd come to recognize it even in his sleep. How horrifying.

"Well, well, who do we fucking have here?" Seongje mused, striding lazily towards Baekjin with his hands in his hoodie pockets. The street light above them flickered twice before buzzing loudly and going out. Darkness engulfed the space between them.

Baekjin's back was still turned to him, and he refused to do otherwise. Let the mouse come to him. Seongje stopped a foot behind him. A distance that reminded him of Humin. Well, letting the mouse come to him clearly didn't work. He turned around, kept the same distance, and gave Seongje a silent glare. He was tired. If Seongje wanted to fight, he'd get it over with.

Seongje tapped the side of his head with his index finger, "Is fighting all that goes in here?" He inquired, as if reading Baekjin's mind. Baekjin was so sick of having a reflection shining back at him constantly that was awfully like himself, an ugly reminder that chased him everywhere he went.

He turned around to keep going on his way. Ignorance was bliss, after all. If that didn't get the message across, he'd fight him. Seongje came to stand in front of him, smiling. "Miss me?"

Baekjin smirked out of the corner of his mouth in dry amusement. "You think you're important enough for anyone to miss you let alone me?"

Seongje chuckled, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. Baekjin's eyes dragged down to the movement and then met his gaze again. "Is your defense mechanism roasting? It's not working."

"What do you want?"

"Honesty."

"No, I didn't miss you." There was some truth in it along with some lies. Missed him in the sense that it was nice to have a voice speaking in his ears all the time. He could turn off his brain that way.

Seongje snorted, not believing him. He watched as Baekjin stepped beside him and resumed his walk home. Seongje fell into step with him, glancing at the groceries in his hand. He leaned his head down a little to take a peek and found the bag to be full of ramen bowls and other microwavable foods. Baekjin gave him a side eye. "We're having tteokbokki tonight? You know it gives me heartburn at night." He tutted, tilting his head to look at Baekjin's side profile.

Baekjin walked just a little faster, brows twitching in annoyance. "Good thing it's not for you."

Seongje chortled, quickening his pace as well.

"Go bother someone else." Why Baekjin was still talking to the idiot, he didn't know. He hadn't talked to anyone all day aside from the registration lady and a teacher at school. The whole socializing part of being a human was getting on his nerves.

"Everything I say bounces right fucking off of you. It keeps me entertained."

Baekjin took out his apartment key as they entered the elevator. Seongje pressed the button to his floor. He really must be bored today. Either that or Baekjin had been cursed by his enemies. He went to his apartment out of the elevator and put in the code, Seongje watching him while leaning against the railing, getting out a packet of cigarettes. While he searched for his lighter—that he always somehow forgets where he put it—Baekjin used the opportunity to quickly walk in and slam the door in the boy's face. He got out of his shoes and looked at his watch. 9:45. Seongje yelled from outside. Baekjin calmly placed the groceries on the kitchen counter and went to his bedroom to freshen up. He'd changed the code since that day Seongje had guessed it. He could faintly hear a bodyguard overpowering Seongje's voice as he told the boy to leave or he'd call the police. Silence followed. Must've worked. Baekjin felt triumph.

The whole week, he did the same things over and over. Wake up, go to school, self-studying, come home, eat, sleep. Repeat. It was a comforting pattern in the chaos of his mind, and it gave him a sense of control over his life. However, that wasn't sufficient to keep his mind busy. His mind wandered to Seongje every now and then during the daytime, sometimes even at nights. And 'every now and then' for Baekjin was excessive. He shouldn't be thinking about him in the first place. He'd also think about Humin. Wonder how he was doing. If he had dyed his hair another ridiculous color like red, even though it kind of made him look like a cartoon character more than anything. It suited his personality to do something so silly like that. He would smile at the thought.

It wasn't until Saturday rolled around that he could finally take a break away from the intense week. He didn't mind it. He woke up around noon, took a shower, and made himself some rice with a fried egg on top. Seongje would've mocked his cooking skills if he were here. It made him roll his eyes.

—oo—

Seongje was sleeping in(not that he didn't do that everyday, he just felt a little less "guilty" to do it on the weekends). His room was neither small nor spacious, it was just in between. The bed he was sleeping on was tucked away in the left corner of the room from where the entryway was, a bedside table cluttered with cigarette packs and textbooks scattered that he couldn't care less. A round shaped lamp that was barely working stood next to an alarm clock. In the space between his bed and his desk was a window, shades always drawn. The desk on the right was rarely in use after freshman year. He didn't study anymore. Didn't try to keep up with the impossible education system. Besides, he had a lot more fun fighting than he ever did studying. And who wouldn't choose fun?

His alarm clock rang loudly in the room when it reached 9:05, and he groaned, reaching out an arm to slam it shut. His hand was first greeted by the old cigarettes the textbooks, his glasses, and then finally landing on the small rectangle shaped device and clicking the small button to make it stop its annoying tune. He turned his head away from facing the wall and looked at the time. Way too early to be awake on a Saturday. He went back to sleep, kicking the blanket at his feet up, and bringing it up to his shoulders. An old man's voice could be heard grunting in the living room about the 'damn TV not working'. If he paid the fucking bills, it would, he thought as sleep engulfed his eyes once again.

When he woke up again, it was because there was an annoying buzz of a voice in his ears, screaming for him to get up and not be a useless piece of shit. His left arm shot out and slammed into his dad's stomach, sending him on to the ground on his back. "Fuck, stop yelling, you drunkard." He sat up, rubbing his eyes awake. He glanced at his left to see his dad get up again, rocking on his feet as he got up, ready to swing at Seongje with his right hand raised. Seongje snorted, standing up tall. He got into his stance and then hit his dad's right side of the jaw with force. The man passed out. Seongje ruffled his hair and went to shower. The landlord—Seongje's uncle—refused to provide them with hot water until they paid the rent. It was a miracle he was letting them reside there in the first place.

Once he emerged from the bathroom, he stepped over his dad's body, and retrieved his phone. There were texts from some members of the gang. He didn't bother to read them. He opened the ones from his mom. She was a councilwoman. She paid for his clothes, his food, everything that came in necessity. His dad and her had split up just as he was starting high school. She'd let him live with his dad on the condition that he'd go over to hers on the weekends. And most of the time, he did, if he didn't have any fights to pick.

Seongje tapped on the message as he drank water from a bottle.

—Good morning, are you coming over today?

—If you're sleeping in, then come in the afternoon. I made your favorite lunch!

His mom's place was a car ride away. Normally, he just transported there by a metro or had his mom send him a car or an uber. It felt like an uber day today. He checked his monthly allowance on his credit card. There was enough money to book himself an uber. He did just that.

His mom's apartment was bigger than Baekjin's, but no more comforting or homely. When he walked in, he saw his mother cooking in the kitchen and remembered the way he'd always ask to taste-test when he was a kid. She would grumble at him to wait until it gets ready, but eventually give in when Seongje pouted up at her.

Ms. Keum came out of the kitchen after having heard the front door open, a smile on her face that dropped the instant she looked at his knuckles wrapped in gauze. She rushed forward and snatched his wrist up to examine it closely. "What is this? Did you get into another fight?"

Seongje felt a twinge of irritation. At least his dad didn't care if he lived or died. He didn't live with his mom because he knew she'd make him stop fighting and behave like a fucking saint. It would be mostly to keep her reputation up as an assembly woman. Couldn't have her gangster son on the news, could she? What would the public say if they god forbid found out? Because of course, it was more important to keep her image intact than tend to her son's wounds.

He pulled his wrist back to himself, frowning. His mom's gaze hardened. "You can't keep doing this. I've told you not to so many times! What if you get in trouble with the police?"

"Then you can get me out with your connections." Seongje replied, staring up at her.

Ms. Keum didn't like that response. "This is your last warning. If you don't stop, I'll cut off your monthly allowance."

"Like I need it." Seongje scoffed, standing up to go to the kitchen.

His mom follows him in frustration, going back to what she was doing. She stirred the soup, throwing him worried glares every now and then as Seongje sat playing games on his phone at the dining table. "Your uncle called. He's going to throw you two out if your dad doesn't pay up the rent."

Seongje tilted his phone to the right.

His mom sighed. "Aren't you worried, Seongje-ah? That you won't have a shelter over your head?"

"I'll live with you. Or better yet, you could get me a separate apartment. He can die for all I care." He grinned.

"I'm not going to pay for that bastard's mistakes. If you stop fighting, then I'll consider it. But until then, you can live with your uncle."

Seongje put his phone down as a "you lost" sign flashed from the game. "Oh, but do you not care for your son, mother? I thought you wanted me to shine." He said, putting a hand to his heart as if hurt.

His mom narrowed her eyes. "I offered to have you live with me when your father and I separated, but you chose to live with that bastard, because he doesn't care if you come home all bruised up from fights."

Seongje did indeed choose to live with his dad, because he couldn't care less if Seongje got into fights everyday, but to have it put so bluntly by his own mom still didn't fail to bring him back the painful memories of having neglectful parents. Just when he thought he was over being sentimental about the people who gave birth to him, the same people reminded him why he was the way he was now. His eyes stared at his mom in silence, jaw clenching. "Maybe if you cared just a little fucking more for your son, he wouldn't get into fights."

"Don't you curse at me! This is not my fault. It's your father's fault for how you turned out!" Ms. Keum raised her voice, coming forward. Behind her, the soup she was making boiled over, making a hissing noise as it touched the hot stove. His mother turned around and rushed to turn off the gas stove.

When she looked back, Seongje was gone.

Chapter Text

Seongje didn't know why the immediate thought after getting into a fight and getting his ass half beaten was to go to Baekjin's and tell him all about it. He didn't dwell on that. He just dragged himself there and knocked on the boy's apartment door. He knew that since Baekjin had started moving again, he'd be back in school. Sources told him he was going to some trash school 30 minute walk away from where his apartment was. It was the middle of the week at 6 in the evening, Baekjin probably wasn't even home, still self studying himself to death at some cram school. He wiped a blood hand down his pants and ringed again. To his surprise, the door opened after a minute or so to reveal Baekjin standing there, in his pajamas, looking pale.

Seongje grinned, brushing past him into his apartment without waiting for permission. Baekjin didn't have the energy to deal with him today. He was too sick for that. He closed the door with a gentle click and followed Seongje inside. He didn't comment on the bruised state of the other one. It didn't even really register until Seongje went to the bathroom, got himself patched up, and came back. Baekjin stood there, watching him. A scar on his left cheekbone, a bandage on his left arm covering a possible gash, gauze wrapped on both of his knuckles. No glasses. Probably broken.

Seongje snorted. "Relax, I'll get you a new kit." He said, patting his shoulder on the way to the couch. Baekjin didn't move from there, feeling slightly dizzy.

"You look like a fucking ghost." Seongje observed with a humorous chuckle, a cigarette making its way on to his lips.

Baekjin walked back into his bedroom silently to get under the covers. So cold. Everything was so so cold. His body shivered even as he had piled three blankets on top. The heater was at its highest. Nothing was helping.

Seongje tilted his head and got up, peddling to Baekjin's. He could only see the top half of Baekjin's head, hair loose on his forehead, eyes closed. Seongje raised a brow. "You sick? Wow, the universe really is saying 'fuck you', huh?" His voice came out more sympathetic than mocking. He rolled his eyes.

How exactly do you take care of or comfort a sick person, Seongje didn't know. He'd never done either of them—well, he had, but that was a long time ago when he was a child. There was an awkward tension in the room. He saw Baekjin face his body away from him and to the wall. His own body stiffened. "You, uh, you need anything?" He asked, picking at the gauze on his left knuckles. What was this? Why did he care if Baekjin was sick or dying? None of his business, was it?

Baekjin didn't reply. He was awake. It would be easier to pretend to be asleep than saying anything, anyway. But a part of him refused to let himself run away again from whatever this situation was. It felt too real. Too intimate. A shiver ran down his spine, and he pulled the blankets closer to him. "I'm out of pain-killers." He whispered. It wasn't meant for Seongje to hear it. He even hoped the boy didn't. Pathetic. Weak. He didn't want anyone to babysit him.

Seongje was just about to leave, thinking that Baekjin was asleep, and he should leave him alone when he heard the barely audible whisper. He paused, glanced behind him, and blinked, trying to make his brain catch up to what happened. "Pain-killers?" He asked to make sure he heard it right.

Baekjin sniffed, shuffled. An answer.

Seongje left to get them.

When he returned with the pain-killers, Baekjin was deep in sleep. He stood beside the bed, watching the blankets rise and fall with steady breaths. His hair was a little damp, and Seongje figured that was a good thing. He didn't want to wake the peaceful picture that was Na Baekjin sleeping, but he needed to take the medicine if he wished to keep on living. Seongje leaned down and shook his shoulder gently. It felt very weird to be in this position. He shook again when he got no response.

Baekjin shifted, feeling a slightly cold weight on his shoulders shaking him. His eyes opened against his will, only to be met with Seongje staring at him from above. He looked different without his glasses. He sat up, creating a slight distance between him and the other boy. A palm stretched out in front of him with two white pills and the other hand holding a glass of water. All the dignity he might have left was thrown out the window. He accepted the pills and downed them with the water. He sat still for a moment, Seongje just a foot away.

"Want me to get a damp cloth? Would probably get the fever down."

Baekjin laid down on his back again, gaze averted. "It's fine."

Seongje snorted. "Uh huh." He went to Baekjin's closet in the corner, opened it, searched around for a small piece of cloth, and got to work. In the bathroom, he turned on lukewarm water and brought it back to the room.

Baekjin was still awake, staring at the ceiling.

"You awake or just dead?" Seongje joked, placing the gray damp handkerchief on Baekjin's forehead. Baekjin turned his gaze to him, slightly out of focus. Seongje paused and then coughed, pulling back.

Baekjin went back to sleep. Seongje lit another cigarette, walking back into the living room. It was so very hot in the apartment, he took off his hoodie and adjusted his shirt. There was a numb ache in his upper left arm where a diagonal cut run down from his tricep to his bicep. He took a pain-killer from the bottle he'd just bought and passed out on the couch, not before taking a last peek inside Baekjin's room to make sure he was still breathing. He wasn't worried or anything, but you never know.

Seongje woke up in the afternoon once he heard some footsteps moving around the space. He blinked, yawning. He turned his head to his left to see Baekjin drinking from a glass of water. His eyes moved down to his Adam's apple.

Baekjin glanced at him when he was finished drinking. Seongje looked away, getting up. "Guess you're not dropping dead anymore, huh? I was getting ready to write your will."

"You can't write my will. It has to be done by a lawyer." Baekjin replied, dryly. He nearly laughed.

"I can be your lawyer." Seongje smirks, winking.

The apartment was unbearably hot. That's why Baekjin's cheeks were getting warm. He left to turn the heater a bit down. He was doing better than he was in the morning, but his head still felt heavy.

Seongje leaned back, arching a curious brow as he watched Baekjin's back retreat. Did he just see him blush? No, he must be dreaming. The thought itself was ridiculous. Na Baekjin blushing? Yeah, right.

Baekjin returned and sat down in the arm chair, leaning his head back. His stomach growled. Seongje chuckled.

"Is baby hungry?"

Baekjin knew better than to dignify it with a reaction, but he still couldn't stop his eyes from glowering. Seongje cracked a toothy smile in satisfaction and got up.

He came back twenty minutes later with Chinese take-out and a diet coke for himself. Baekjin got everything out of the bag. A small soup container was the last thing he found. He glanced up at Seongje, who ignored his eyes like the plague while taking lids off the containers.

He got himself a spoon and drank the spoon, taking occasional bites from Seongje's kimchi when he wasn't looking. "I know what you're doing." Seongje commented, taking a sip of his Diet Coke while keeping his gaze on the TV.

Baekjin stared at him. "And?" He asked, taking another piece of kimchi between his chopstick and bringing it to his lips. He chewed. Seongje gulped, feeling his ears burn.

"And I could kill you in your sleep."

Baekjin snorted, taking a final sip of his soup.

Seongje scoffs, keeping himself from smiling. "What? I can."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Are you calling me a wuss?"

Baekjin met his eyes, raising a brow. Seongje clicked his tongue, amusement settling in his eyes with slight annoyance. He squeezed the empty can in his hand, eliciting a cracking noise, and threw it at Baekjin. Baekjin rolled his eyes, dodging it just a breath from his head.

"Childish." He said, getting up to store away the leftovers.

Seongje followed, snickering.

—oo—

Baekjin's so-called plan to "keep Seongje away" was failing miserably, because Seongje was unstoppably just…everywhere. He'd have to fly countries to get away from the boy and then find out he was at the airport, waiting for him with some dumbass welcome board. He had come to acknowledge that Seongje's presence wasn't that bad after all. It was bearable. Background noise that he could avoid or pay attention to. Seongje didn't mind it either way.

The interactions between them had become much more playful and natural than he remembered them to be. He'd always been stern as the union leader. He had to be, or no one would take him seriously. But Seongje had a way of getting up the walls he had built for himself and hammering at them relentlessly. He didn't know if Seongje meant to do it intentionally or if it was just the way he was. It had to be the latter, Baekjin told himself.

They didn't talk about their personal lives so much—they weren't that comfortable. The conversations usually circled around Seongje's fights or whatever else his mind had been frying over. Baekjin didn't have anything to talk about. Sometimes, they just stayed in silence. Those days were less frequent, however, they were there.

—oo—

Seongje needed to get a grip on himself. He's been letting himself enjoy Baekjin's company, something he didn't even allow in his dreams to happen, let alone real life. There were instances when he'd catch himself staring at Baekjin like he was a painting, a puzzle, perhaps, that Seongje was so close to solving yet so far away. He'd notice the way Baekjin's eyebrows would do a little twitch every now and then in concentration when he was doing his school homework. The way his jaw would clench and unclench. Something he didn't know was Baekjin's pen clicking habit. Click, click, click, every time he was deep in thought. He would sit so still, Seongje would wonder if Baekjin was mentally in another universe.

It scared Seongje to think his second home (aside from fighting) had become Baekjin's apartment. That he knew what Baekjin needed to add to his grocery list and what he didn't need more of—such as sanitizers, he had fuck ton of them, the clean freak. Knew Baekjin's day to day schedule, when he showered, when he ate his breakfast, what he usually liked for breakfast, how he existed in general. It was frightening to reflect on such things.

Getting used to being around Baekjin meant getting used to quietness. Seongje was a loud mouth. He hated the quiet. Made his mind too noisy. But he found observing Baekjin in his natural habitat often hushed the thoughts inside his head. Being around Baekjin also meant that he had to know when to not keep pushing, because the moment he broke the 'unsaid rules of Na Baekjin', Baekjin would close off. Like he had not too long ago. Telling Seongje to leave his apartment, changing the goddamn apartment code, and avoiding him. It made Seongje mad to even think that Baekjin had the nerve to push him away after all he'd done for him—however unprompted it was from Baekjin, it didn't matter. But that was the thing, being around Baekjin wasn't the hardest part, it was getting him to open up even the slightest, because he was always so tense and on guard, albeit trained by habit. He'd given himself a few mental pats on his back when Baekjin was playing along with his ridiculous jokes, even if he acted like he was "above it all"(he wasn't).

Baekjin was fast asleep on the sofa across from where Seongje is seated in the chair. They'd decided on watching some trash sci-fi movie, but as it turned out, it was extremely boring. They weren't even halfway through, and Baekjin's eyes were closed. Seongje himself fell asleep a few minutes later after watching Baekjin's back heaving up and down in steady breathing.

The next morning, he was awoken with a spraying of water on his face. He cursed, eyes opening while he shield his face with his hands. "Fuck, what the fuck?"

"Don't like it when it's done to you, huh?" Baekjin gibed, looking entertained.

Seongje glared at him after wiping his face and putting on his glasses. He glanced at the spray bottle. "Really? Couldn't even waste more than a few drops on my beautiful face? How very Na Baekjin."

"I didn't want to wet the couch."

Seongje snorted, getting up. He took his jacket with him and left.

Baekjin sighed.

—oo—

Going anywhere with Seongje meant that you'd have a chattering box following you everywhere. And he didn't have a switch-off button, unfortunately.

Since it was the weekend, they (Seongje mainly) had decided to go visit the nearest zoo. At first, Baekjin was skeptical about it. He'd never been to a zoo before. He didn't feel a particular attraction to places like that, but he was willing to give it a try.

They reached the entry gate and got in line for the tickets to go inside. Once it was their turn, the person at the desk asked if they had any children going with them. Seongje's finger raised to point at Baekjin beside him. "Just this one."

Baekjin swatted his finger away. "We'll have two adult tickets, please."

Seongje frowned as if upset. He took the tickets with him and ran off. The entry gate employee looked back at Baekjin in a little surprise and awkwardness.

Baekjin sighed, getting out his wallet.

They walked together as others around them 'oooh'd and 'ahhh'd. The first animal they looked at was a giraffe. Baekjin thought they were big on screen, but in person, they were huge. Threateningly so. One's neck reached above the tallest tree surrounding it. As they passed the giraffes, they were greeted with the black and white striped animals. The zebras were very calm, chewing grass, and walking in herds as if they couldn't care less about the humans. They mostly stayed away and on defense, their pray instincts on guard.

Next were monkeys. The ones Seongje and Baekjin were looking at were called 'olive baboons'. Their body was brown, and their fur stuck out in small pointy downwards shape. Almost all of them had red eyes.

"Welcome home." Baekjin said to Seongje, staring at one particular one in the distance who was doing laps around the grass.

Seongje gaped in faux shock as he turned to him. "Well, don't say that. This is your home too."

Baekjin rolled his eyes, turning to walk to the other animals.

"By the way, I see myself as more of a Leopard. Stunning and fast." Seongje said, swiping a hand in front of them.

"You're a fox, at best."

"So you're calling me smart? Because foxes are known for their cleverness." Seongje met his eyes, smiling with his teeth.

Baekjin merely huffed. Seongje cackled, following him.

They came to a stop when the guide started to warn them of the oncoming predators, like lions and tigers, and to not throw stuff at them to get their attention, because it can easily turn into bloodshed if the said animals got angry. They moved forward.

First were the lions. There were a few younger males in pride with the females and the cubs while the eldest male lion was sitting a foot away from them.

Seongje pointed at the lion sitting alone, "That one is just like you. Lonely and brooding."

"I'm not—"

"That's your whole personality." Seongje deadpanned, flicking a sunflower seed at him.

Baekjin took the bag away from him and raised it over his head, Seongje leaning on his toes to get it.

Baekjin glanced down at him mockingly, raising a brow. "Can't reach?"

Seongje narrowed his eyes, "I'm one inch shorter than you."

"Still short." Baekjin replied, handing him the sunflower seeds, not before pretending to throw them over the railing.

Seongje shoved him, causing him to bump into an elderly lady. Baekjin's eyes widened, apologizing and bowing.

He kicked the back of Seongje's knee while the boy was laughing. Seongje let out a curse, turning his head back to glare.

Baekjin hid a small smirk.

"Since you're so fucking adamant about telling me what kind of animal I am, what kind of animal do you think you are?" Seongje asked, folding the sunflower seed bag and putting it in his pants pocket. His arm brushed against Baekjin's, and Baekjin stiffened for a moment at the contact, glancing down at it. Seongje seemed to be oblivious. Baekjin relaxed, not moving away from the contact just then.

They came to a halt in front of the tigers, and Baekjin nodded towards them.

Seongje eyed him up and down. "A tiger? Really? I don't see it," He tsked. "You're more of a…cat. Unpredictable and antisocial."

A pause as Baekjin thought over Seongje's words and then gave him a side glance. He continued walking. Seongje grinned, suspecting, no, knowing Baekjin agreed with him deep in his cold-blooded heart.

Their time eventually ended at the zoo and after that, they went to the convenience store on their way to get some instant ramen bowls. The store was among the many in the row and looked out to a busy street across that had restaurants and bars, some shopping spots as well.

Seongje plopped into the seat just beside Baekjin's. Baekjin waited for his noodles to finish getting ready, staring out the window.

Baekjin reached inside his jacket pocket.

"I know the owner. You don't have to pay," Seongje said, looking smug. "Consider it an act of pity."

Baekjin took out his phone, throwing him a brief glance.

Seongje rolled his eyes.

Once they were done eating, Seongje left, and Baekjin made his way back to his apartment. It had been a slightly stressful day—why wouldn't it, he was in the presence of Seongje—but he was feeling a strange sense of contentment settle in his stomach. He'd never officially hung out with anyone other than Humin when they were really young. It mostly didn't count, because Humin's dad was always there to yell at them. But today, it almost felt like he was one of the many teenagers acting his age. He was forced to grow up so fast, he didn't realize it would actually feel good to do something that wasn't related to violence and managing a business. He shook his head. He was getting too carried away. He took off his clothes and went to shower.

Chapter Text

Even one day of not going to cram school and using the extra time to self-study caused Baekjin a whole night of sleep and another. If he weren't so focused on the final exams, he'd go up to Mr. Choi and kill him there and then for causing such a disturbance in his studies. He somehow did manage to get through the rest of the week with a wink of sleep and barely any food in his system other than the school lunch. He didn't have time to eat.

Friday rolled around soon enough, and the whole day, they tested one after another. The exams weren't too hard, but it was difficult to focus throughout the day without his eyes closing briefly or drinking an energy drink during the breaks they got(a truly once in a lifetime occurrence for Baekjin). He made it through to the end of the day. The results would be out next week. He wasn't too worried. Even if there was a small disruption, he wasn't too worried, because he'd managed to make up for those hours lost.

When he came home, Seongje was ready with take-out ramen with bulgogi and some other side dishes. He got up with his arms open, a smile on his lips. Baekjin tensed, bracing himself for the sudden physical contact. He moved a little to the left. But Seongje hadn't moved from his spot behind the dining table, his arms lowering. "Congrats!" He exclaimed.

Baekjin felt a little something in his chest. Who would have thought Seongje had the decency of being nice for once? He sighed, "Thank—"

"To me getting back in the gang!! As a leader, too!" Seongje finishes, the grin widening when he realizes what Baekjin was thinking.

Baekjin deadpanned. He turned around and walked to his bedroom to get freshened up after the grueling day. His summer break will start tomorrow. He had no idea what he was going to do now that he was out of the gang. He never had so much free time on his hands before—aside from when he was a kid, that was different, however, because he actually liked the breaks.

He returned and sat down across Seongje. There were two bottles of beer that weren't there before. Seongje saw him eyeing them and sighed dramatically. "Fine, I'll let you have one."

Baekjin rolled his eyes, digging into the food with his chopsticks. Seongje started speaking again, talking about the 'hell of a day' he had fighting some bastards that were causing trouble at the alley. Clearly, his day was way more stressful than Baekjin's.

"Who would've guessed it'd be so hard to be a leader? Well, I know it has major responsibilities. But paper work man? Ugh, got me beat. The union might go down with me because of it." Seongje snorted, smirking around a mouthful of noodles.

Baekjin stared at him. Was this his way of asking for help? Tch. "It's easy."

"Yeah, for you, it is. You're a freaking nerd. The rest of us aren't."

"It's not hard to be smart. Try it sometime." Baekjin shot back, taking the bulgogi container that the other kept hogging. Seongje had no table manners, he'd learned long ago. It was like eating with a child. Or even something worse.

Seongje swallowed a gulp from his beer bottle. "It's not hard to be a human either. Try it sometime." He mimicked, giving Baekjin a fake sweet smile.

Baekjin stared. Good one.

"I'll bring the paperwork tomorrow. You're not gonna be doing anything anyway now that school's over, right? Might as well help me."

"I don't want to get involved again." Baekjin replied, calmly.

Seongje raised a brow, took a bite of the egg on top of the ramen, and chewed. He was quiet for a moment, before nodding. "Fine. Then show me."

Baekjin pretended to not hear him, snatching the last piece of Bulgogi before Seongje can. He hummed.

Seongje lifted his brows in question. "'Mhmm what?"

"I'll teach you."

Baekjin heard a huff.

"You're not 'teaching' me shit. You're just going to show me. Let's be clear." Seongje pointed his chopsticks at him.

Baekjin snorted, the right side of his corner rising higher than the other. "Right. I forgot you're the worst student a teacher can have."

Their feet brushed under the table as Seongje shifted, leaning his arms forward with his eyes narrowed. Baekjin stiffened slightly, eyes flickering up to meet Seongje's. "Maybe having the best teacher might do the trick." Seongje raised his eyebrows up and down, a grin making its way on to his lips as he laughed quietly.

Baekjin told his heart to calm the fuck down and his blood to not rush up his neck. It didn't work. He swallowed the bite he was chewing. He took the uncapped beer bottle sitting next to Seongje's and swallowed a sip, while Seongje watched him with an amused expression dancing across his face. "You're beyond any kind of salvage." He said, putting down the table and getting up with the empty containers. Whatever this was, it was making him want to go lock himself in his room and never come out.

Seongje frowned, as if offended, following him with his own trash. "You haven't even tried. Who knows, I might actually turn out to be a good student."

"No chance." Baekjin replied mindlessly, as he went back to the dining table and got his beer. He walked to the couch in front of the window and sat down.

Seongje shook his head, as if disappointed, sitting down next to Baekjin, leaving less than a foot of space between them. "You're such a terrible teacher, you aren't even willing to give me a chance."

Baekjin wasn't sure why there was so much close proximity happening between the two of them, but the moment it did, his heart would pick up pace. Out of anxiety or excitement, he didn't know. He hoped it was the former. It wasn't good either way though. He moved just a little left on the couch to put more distance between them.

Seongje didn't seem to have noticed. He was getting out a cigarette while holding the beer bottle between his forearm and bicep. The bottle was almost empty. He didn't look drunk at all. Did he drink often? Baekjin frowned and then turned his head away to take another sip.

What were they talking about again?

Seongje took off his glasses and leaned his head against the back of the couch, face turned towards Baekjin. Baekjin stared straight ahead.

"Your face is oddly soothing to look at," Was the first half-drunken comment of the evening from Seongje.

Baekjin gulped down another sip. He let the liquid burn down his throat, drowned out his mind, let his posture slightly loosen. He glanced sideways, finding Seongje's bare eyes already trained on him. They often were, and Baekjin didn't know why. "You must do those skincare routines and shit. Make your skin baby smooth." A finger slowly reached out to poke Baekjin's cheek. His nonsense knew no bounds.

Baekjin caught it, glaring at it before looking at Seongje's face. Seongje had a lazy smirk plastered on his face. His gaze moved to their hands. Baekjin dropped it on to the couch. "I just wash it with a facial cleanser. It's nothing special."

"I don't believe it. There has to be something." Seongje said and placed his arms on his knees, leaning in. The distance was no longer a foot. His face was close, and Baekjin could spot a mole beside his right eye.

Seongje squinted his eyes, observing Baekjin's face with a tilt to his head. "See? There isn't a single acne on your face."

Baekjin should lean away. He really should. But the heat coming from the other's body had him pinned to the place. From up close, he saw Seongje's face had an almost heart shape to it, features soft, unlike his own. His lips had a nice appearance to it, too. The top one was a bit more plump than the bottom one, the curve reminding him of a bow, only more pronounced on him. The hair set neatly just beside his eyebrows. He wanted to push the strand away that was inching closer to his left eye.

Seongje grinned. "Pretty, aren't I?" There was a thin line between a joking Seongje and a flirt Seongje. Baekjin could never decipher which was when. Just like he couldn't do it right now.

Baekjin swallowed thickly, and before he could stop it, an affirming noise made its way up his throat.

Seongje's breath hitched at the one-word response that made his eyes widen and mind short-circuit. Did Baekjin just called him pretty? What—

Seongje's phone rang with the song "Gangnam Style" by PSY. He blinked.

Baekjin's eyes went to his phone on the coffee table. He looked back at Seongje, waiting for him to pick up. Seongje was still staring at him. "Your phone is ringing." Baekjin cleared his throat and took the boy's beer bottle with his own to throw it away.

Seongje rubbed his eyes and fetched the phone. It was one of the boys from the union. He answered it. "What?" His eyes followed Baekjin as he leaned against the kitchen counter, massaging his temples.

Some stupid fight had broke out, and the leader of the opposite gang was requesting Seongje's presence. He told them to deal with it, but they had them beaten apparently. He rubbed a tired hand over his face and stood up, putting his glasses back on. "I'll be there. Don't let him go, or I'll fucking kill you."

Seongje ran a hand through his hair as he walked to the kitchen. Baekjin's gaze was fixated on the floor. He glanced away too. "I gotta go."

Baekjin gave a small nod without looking at him.

He lingered for a moment before leaving.

Baekjin eyed the couch where they were sitting a moment ago. He couldn't believe he'd fallen victim to one of Seongje's tricks again, it had barely registered to him after he had done it. They both wouldn't remember it tomorrow or at least not to pretend—because they weren't that drunk—and everything would be fine.

Baekjin's eyes lulled shut as he dragged his feet to his bedroom and fell asleep without a shower.

The next day, he didn't wake up until it was four in the afternoon. He had caught up on all the sleep he had missed, but his body still felt utterly exhausted. Seongje hadn't come around despite promising to yesterday. He wasn't once woken up by the doorbell, and he'd checked the live footage to see if he had slept through it, but it showed nothing. He opened his kakao talk to see if there were any messages from him, but none showed up.

So, after eating his very late lunch, he made his way to the orphanage. He hadn't been able to visit them in a long time, nor meet up with his old caretaker to donate any money due to the hecticness that had been the past few months. He didn't want to show up all injured—not that he wasn't still, but it was easier to explain a broken arm than a fully body impairment. He wouldn't want them to worry for him. Or worse, pity.

He wasn't big on money right now, but he had enough to take out from his bank account to donate. He walked out of the ATM after obtaining the cash, which now sat safely in an envelope in his backpack. He'd bought snacks on the way to the ATM too.

When he arrived, he was greeted by the current manager and his former caretaker, Ms. Yoon. She was in her 40's. She was extremely nice. Baekjin remembers meeting her the first time and being frightened by how tall she was for a woman. She was the sweetheart of the orphanage, kept the place together and has been. The orphanage looked to be vibrating with happiness under her care.

She smiled and waved when she saw him enter. "Baekjin-ah!"

Baekjin nodded in greeting, bowing down before standing upright. "Have you been well?"

Ms. Yoon came forward with one of the kids trailing behind her. Her eyes widened in worry when she was close enough. "What happened to your arm, Baekjin?"

"I fell down some stairs, but I'm fine. I'm sorry for not stopping by sooner."

"Oh, don't worry about it! I'm glad you're okay." She said, her eyebrows still worried into a frown. She slapped his left arm lightly. "Why don't you take better care of yourself! You're lucky only your arm broke!"

Baekjin hummed just a little. "I will. I'm sorry."

Ms. Yoon's frown disappeared into a happy grin. "Good. We had some kids come in today. Want to meet them?"

"Yes. I'll be with you after I give the donation money to Vice President Park."

Ms. Yoon nodded her head furiously. "Go on, do that first. I'll be—" The small girl tugged at her hand to get her attention, having dirtied her shirt from the ice cream she was eating. Ms. Yoon turns to her, fussing.

Baekjin makes his way to the Vice President's office. The rooms inside looked all the same, a little regular renovation here and there could be seen. He turned a left corner and walked to the long end of the hallway. He knocked once when he got to the office.

An old man's voice spoke up. "Come in."

Baekjin walked inside.

"Ah! Mr. Na Baekjin, please, have a seat."

Baekjin bows a little and sits down. "Vice President Park, how have you been?"

"I've been well, son, I've been well! What happened to your arm?"

"I fell down a flight of stairs, but it's been recovering well." Baekjin explained.

"That's good to hear! What brings you by?"

"I brought the donation money. I'm sorry for not stopping by sooner." He said, taking out the envelope from his backpack and sliding it across the table.

Vice President Park raised his eyebrows. "You don't need to apologize. I understand. Studying must keep you busy, plus now you have an injury." He nodded towards Baekjin's arm. "Thank you for the donation. It helps a lot, but you don't need to worry about this."

"It's nothing. This orphanage means a lot to me. I want to give it back what I can."

"That's really kind. I hope your arm recovers soon."

Baekjin nodded, standing up. "Thank you."

He turned on his feet and left, making his way back to the front of the building.

Ms. Yoon was playing with the kids in the distance. He walked to them. The older woman immediately introduced him to the kids, and they started getting excited when he knelt down and got the snacks out. The packets were snacked in a blink. He didn't think there'd be so many, so he looked up at Ms. Yoon awkwardly when the pig tailed girl came up to him last with her lips turned down when she saw Baekjin didn't have anymore. Ms. Yoon frowned and turned to the other kids. "Now now kids, sharing is caring. Come on, put it all in the middle, and I'll divide it fairly to everyone."

Baekjin sighed, standing up. One of the boys came up to him, holding out a piece of seaweed chips. "Thank you for bringing us snacks!!" The kid's eyes crinkled at the corners.

Baekjin blinked in slight surprise. "You're welcome."

He glanced at Ms. Yoon who had a subtle smirk on her face. "The children love you."

Baekjin didn't know how to respond. He only nodded, face flushing slightly.

Ms. Yoon glanced at the children playing around and then came closer to stand in front of Baekjin. "You're not getting in any trouble, I hope."

Baekjin shook his head a little.

Ms. Yoon looked skeptical but let the matter go after she was done investigating thoroughly.

He left soon with the promise of paying another visit to the kids next week on the day of the reading club to read to them, and one of them came up to hug his leg on his way out. He had awkwardly stood there, not knowing what to do, and then Ms. Yoon had taken the toddler away.

When he came back home, it was around dinner time. He wanted to take-out, but he remembered that now that he was capable of going to grocery stores, he could get some ingredients and could cook them himself. He was a decent chef if you asked him. He ignored Seongje's voice popping in his head with a quip. "If you can cook, I can fly. It's like saying turtles can run. Not possible."

He went to the nearest grocery store and got himself some eggs, vegetables, fruits, and some meat. He'd figured he'd make Pajeon(green onion spicy pancakes) since it seemed like it was going to rain soon. Perfect dinner.

Once he got home, he organized the groceries and began on the batter for the pancakes. After he was done mixing the batter, he heated up a pan,and poured the batter into it.

Chapter Text

What Seongje was doing could only be called labor. He was working harder than any of the fuckers that were supposed to be doing the heavy lifting. All day, he hadn't been able to leave the office, because he needed to get the records straight on what bike was being stolen from where and sold to whom. Fuck, he just wanted to fight, was that too much ask for? Yes, apparently yes, it was too much to ask for as the union leader. Mr. Choi's men had come in the morning, telling him that the bastard will be 'visiting tonight and he wants to see the monthly profit'.

He knows he should've gone to Baekjin, but after last night…he wasn't sure. He couldn't care less if they joked around. But something just felt different when he heard Baekjin make a noise in agreement when he asked him if he thought Seongje was pretty. Something that went beyond the usual comments shared. It was pointless to dwell on it, though, considering there wasn't any possibility of anything happening between them. Most of all, Seongje knew Baekjin wouldn't want to talk about it. He didn't either. It's fine, they can pretend nothing has changed.

The time was quickly ticking, however, and if he didn't do something about the problem at hand, Mr. Choi wouldn't reply in good nature. Seongje wasn't scared of him—the asshole could die for all he cared—but he was scared that if he didn't get his shit together, there would be consequences that affected a certain someone else. A knock came on his door before a boy walked in. He was new, some distant school gang leader the union had taken in. He couldn't remember his name. He rubbed the side of his head with a pen. "What?"

"Mr. Choi is here, boss."

Seongje sighed, and before he could respond, Mr. Choi and his men were pushing their way in.

Mr. Choi smiled. "Keum Seongje. How have you been liking the leader role?"

Seongje stood up, putting his hands inside his pockets. "Great. It's been great." He said, bored.

"Well, let's get down to it. How is the business going?" The man inquired, walking around the desk and looking down at the month's records. There were empty columns. Some were filled with harsh writing one could not read. Most of the pages were blank. "What is this? Haven't you been keeping a proper record?"

"I've been busy. Final exams and all." Seongje said, eyes averted as he scratched the back of his head.

Mr. Choi frowned. "This is serious business. I trusted you because Na Baekjin had you as his right-hand man."

Seongje nodded, taking out a cigarette. "I'm out of school now, so I'll have it done soon." He said and petted his pockets to find a lighter. Mr. Choi came forward and took out his lighter, bringing it up to light Seongje's cigarette.

"I expect nothing less. Is that understood?"

Seongje clenched his jaw, taking a long drag and blowing it out right in Mr. Choi's face. Mr. Choi's men stepped forward instantly. He held up a hand to stop them.

"Understood." Seongje said, not blinking.

Mr. Choi nodded and left.

Seongje stood there until he finished the cigarette, contemplating on what to do. It was obvious.

Ten minutes later, he was stepping inside Baekjin's apartment with a file. The lights were still on, so Baekjin must be awake. He could smell food, and it made his stomach groan in response. He hadn't eaten since the morning. He walked in to the living room and threw the file on the coffee table, looking around. No sign of the owner of the apartment anywhere. He walked into the bedroom. Not there either. He heard the shower running and glanced towards it. Gotcha.

His stomach made another noise, and he walked to the kitchen to see if Baekjin had any leftovers. He raised a brow when he found actual food in the refrigerator that wasn't just take-out. There was abundance of fruit stacked into neat boxes on one side and vegetables on the other. A container of yogurt sat in the front, and he snatched it, closing the door. He heard the shower turn off as he sat down on the armchair. Fuck, he forgot a spoon. He got up with a grunt, got it, and sat back down. He was about to dig in when he remembered Baekjin's rules. "Don't just dig in the fucking container. Take some out of it separately and then eat." Him and his dumbass rules. He returned with a bowl, scooped some into it, and ate. It was the bland flavored yogurt, but he devoured it all the same.

Baekjin entered the room, taking in the scene in front of him. It was 10 pm. What was Seongje doing here so late? Eating, evidently. He frowned at the sight and sat down on the opposite couch. Seongje didn't say anything in greeting, just kept eating the yogurt while having his eyes glued to the TV. Baekjin waited patiently as he stared at the boy. His legs were thrown over the right armrest of the chair with his back leaning against the other.

Baekjin glanced at the file on the coffee table. The records one Seongje had told him he'd bring by today. Did he really plan to do it this late? His hands reached out automatically to touch the plastic cover, bringing it to his lap. Two months ago, doing the profit spreadsheets was one of his hobbies. Only one, in all honesty. He looked through it and well…it was everything he'd expected. Messy writing, vacant spots, ash stains that had burned through the papers. He felt an immeasurable amount of irritation bile up his throat. He hated untidiness. His gaze searched for Seongje's, but he was still staring at the fucking TV. Baekjin got the remote control and turned it off. Seongje's eyes didn't move. Not even a flicker.

Okay, so this is about last night. What about it, though? They were both drunk, said some dumb shit, and slept it off. Is Seongje really expecting them to talk about it? God, he was so—

"Are you going to do it?" Seongje asked, finishing his last bite and turning his head to him.

Baekjin blinked. He gritted his teeth, "I told you I'll show you."

"Then fucking show me already, mhmm?" Seongje suggested, a mocking smile on his face.

Baekjin rolled his eyes. "And you tell me I have a temper." Seongje clicked his tongue in response, sitting up properly, and leaning forward with his arms on his knees.

Baekjin carefully placed the file open on the coffee table, mirroring Seongje's posture. He asked Seongje about everything from the plate numbers to the date they were scheduled to be delivered and or stolen. It was simple. Just write everything down and keep track of which vehicle returns when. Baekjin made Seongje note the details down, slowly filling all the columns up.

After an hour or so, Seongje threw the pen on the coffee table and slumped back against the armchair. "Fuck, that's so much to keep track of." He groaned, ruffling his hair.

Baekjin sighed. "This is nothing. It takes a lot more to be a leader."

Seongje tilted his head at him, snorting. "Is that why you quit?" He questioned, even though he knew the reason Baekjin left his position. Subtle jab.

"It's getting late. Get out of here." Baekjin stood up to go to his bedroom.

Seongje raised a brow, tilting his head to the right. "I think I'll crash here tonight." He didn't want to go home to a lump of trash that was his dad and deal with his drunken state again. Besides, Baekjin's apartment was way better than his fractured house with no hot water and barely any electricity. He could go to his mom's, but it was too late for that.

Baekjin didn't know why Seongje would say such a ridiculous thing. Baekjin wasn't going to let him stay over night. But then again, Seongje had done it before. Baekjin had let him. There wasn't much he could do to stop Seongje anyway. He'd do what he wanted. And Baekjin didn't have the energy to fight him and kick him out right now. He didn't respond, only closed his bedroom door behind him. That should be an answer enough.

The next morning, Seongje was gone.

Baekjin was bored by the afternoon after going for a run outside in the morning, watching the news, showering, and checking his phone. There wasn't much for him to do at home at all. He'd never had the opportunity to just…do whatever he wanted. Have a lot of free time on his hands. So this was beyond new for him. He sat completely still for a minute and then stood up, deciding to go outside. He could treat himself to a lunch that wasn't just ramen or his usual options. He had the money for a single fancy meal.

When he went outside, the clouds were gathering in anticipation of a pour down. He went back inside, got his umbrella, and then started walking. Downtown was quite a far walk from where he lived. He'd either have to take a taxi or go by the bus. Bus would be cheaper.

It started raining heavy just as he sat down at a bus station. He kept the umbrella close to him. He had chosen regrettably the worst day to go out to eat at a restaurant, but he'd figured most of the eating places would be empty because the weather was so terrible, and he liked quiet. The bus arrived just as the rain started to shimmer down.

The restaurant he had turned up at had the best reviews on Naver said this was the best place in the area for good food. The insides were fancy. Tall ceiling, modern interior, round tables for small groups and rectangle ones for more than four people, the staff all wore professional uniforms. Everything seemed nice. The manger led him to a table for two, and he sat down. The menu was on an iPad. He ordered Samyeopsal(grilled pork belly) and a Chinese dish that was displayed at the end of the menu that he hadn't heard of before.

The food was beyond good. It was savory, and the taste was rich. More pronounced by the ingredients added. They even gave him two free side dishes, which was slightly surprising from such a restaurant. When he was done eating, he paid the bill, and made his way back to the station. He could go sightseeing around since the place was bustling with tourists and summer related activities, but not too long ago, he'd gotten a text from Seongje.

—Come home.

—It's an emergency.

By an "emergency", Seongje meant nothing. There was no emergency when Baekjin got home, only Seongje in some new clothes, munching on some traditional Korean food. Baekjin rolled his eyes, setting down his umbrella by the front door as he made his way inside.

"Mr. Choi was so impressed, he gave me the whole fucking month's salary." Seongje snorted, grinning with his teeth, a glint in his eyes.

Baekjin stared at him, taking a seat on one of the couches. Was he supposed to be happy for him? The man who had his men beat him to almost death had given Seongje his whole month's salary on his first week? It made him want to gauge someone's eyes out, made him want to punch Seongje for reasons unknown. His fists twitched with the need to fight.

Seongje observed him while he chewed. "Saw Humin on my way here."

Baekjin's already tense posture stiffened even more at the mention of his former friend. His eyes turned to slits as he started at Seongje. "And?'

"He was asking about you. If you're alive or dead. Told him it's none of his business." Seongje shrugged carelessly, uncapping a water bottle.

Baekjin took a moment to process his words. Humin was asking about him? How he was? Why did he care after all that had happened? His once friend. Baekjin wouldn't have expected anything less than hatred from him, but knowing Humin, the enormous heart and kindness he carried, he knew he would.

Seongje didn't have any right to tell him off on his behalf, as if he was close to Baekjin. They weren't close, much less anything else. But Baekjin didn't have the heart to say anything to him. There was a strange sense of appreciation almost. He pushed down the feeling, glancing away.

Seongje finished up eating, threw away the containers, and came to sit on the couch left to Baekjin. He extended an envelope. "Your share." He said casually.

Baekjin glanced at the money and then up at him. He'd merely shown him how to write, which Seongje didn't know how to apparently.

"What? This is for being useful." Seongje continued. He tossed the money on the coffee table. "You're welcome." He rolled his eyes, leaning back.

"I don't need it."

"Fuck. You're so arrogant. Just accept the damn money." Seongje glared, turning his head to look at him from above his glasses.

Baekjin kicked his shin and looked at the money. He caught Seongje's foot wanting to return the gesture. When he let go, Seongje kicked hard in retaliation. Baekjin scoffed, getting up and shoving Seongje's shoulders into the couch before punching him. Seongje cursed, pushing him on to the coffee table behind him. "You fucker, I just ate!" He held down Baekjin by straddling him, throwing his own fist at Baekjin's jaw.

Baekjin wasn't listening, though. He grabbed the remote control from the armchair and made it act as a knife on Seongje's back. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have been able to do it with as much as strength as Baekjin had done with it. He shot Seongje off of him and to the gap between the couch and the table. Seongje grunted, propelling himself on his elbows. Baekjin got on him. His punch went straight to the tiles beside Seongje's head as the boy moved away. Seongje used that as an opportunity to shove Baekjin off of him. Baekjin's back hit the couch's edge roughly, and he hissed.

They stared at each other, their chests heaving with rapid breaths. Seongje hurled the remote control at Baekjin with no real force behind it, and it tossed off after hitting Baekjin's chest. Seongje laughed, laying back down as his breathing regulated once again.

Baekjin panted out a similar, more quiet sound, a half smirk on his face. Seongje raised his head sparsely to catch the sight, and he did. An actual pleased Na Baekjin gazed back at him with no usual heat held in his eyes. Seongje grinned maniacally. "I think I might be in hell. Na Baekjin is smiling."

Baekjin snorted. The remote control flew back at Seongje weakly, landing on his smiling face before falling off on to the ground. He grinned wider.

That night, they shared ice cream as they walked back from Baskin Robbins. Seongje had a chocolate covered ice cream bar in his left hand and a mango flavored in his right. He made Baekjin pay for both of them by using the excuse of 'having his hands full already' and pouting like a child in front of the cashier.

"Me and the boys made a bet once that you're a vanilla ice cream kind of person. Guess who's getting all the money?" Seongje's lips widened into a satisfied gummy smile.

Baekjin took a spoonful of his vanilla ice cream. Seongje and his stupid bets. He'd heard about it when he was still in the union. He was hoping Seongje would have bet his money on mint chocolate. "Why didn't you think I'd like mint chocolate?" He asked, a little curious.

"Because you're a basic guy at heart. Only psychos like mint chocolate. Don't get me wrong, you act like a psycho, but you're not actually one."

Baekjin shoved him. Seongje snickered and then cursed when one of the bars dripped down his new hoodie. Baekjin ate his ice cream in silent satisfaction.

As they neared Baekjin's apartment, Seongje finished eating one of the ice cream bars and flicked the soggy stick at Baekjin. It stuck to his shoulder. Seongje laughed boyishly, running a feet away when Baekjin moved to hit him.

The security guard at the gate looked at them in slight annoyance. Baekjin walked to the trash can, took the stick off his shirt, and tossed it inside.

Seongje didn't come back to the apartment with him, bidding him a goodbye from far away with his arms in the air waving behind his head, the remaining ice cream bar dripping cream back and forth with the motion.

Baekjin rolled his eyes. "Coward," He said, the word holding fondness.

Chapter Text

Seongje wasn't sure if fighting this low life was really worth it, but he hadn't taken the warning sent two days ago. And now he'd shown up in his rich school costume, rectangle glasses set askew on his nose, his hair a bowl cut. A hilarious image. The boy, Han Daehyun, came forward. Seongje didn't move from his spot on the worn out couch in the construction building. He flickered ash from his cigarette on to the ash tray offered by the newbie—Lee Seojun—as his arms rested forward on his knees. He made a gesture with his left hand , and two of his gang members stepped up to fight Daehyun.

Daehyun might look like his profile came from a video game, but he was a fairly big guy. He almost reminded Seonjge of Humin. He scoffed. Daehyun fight hard though. He took down Seongje's men in less than three minutes. Seongje made another flicking motion, and three other members stepped up to fight Daehyun. Daehyun had a unique way of fighting. That is, making noises with his mouth as he fought as if he were in an anime. Seongje found it amusing. "Who is this crazy fucker?" He turned his head left to look at the newbie.

"He uhh he's a former taekwondo student. Used to compete in middle school and then stopped."

Seongje grinned, chuckling. "He's got moves."

Daehyun was worn out by the time Seongje had sent two other guys and pretty soon, he was knocked down to the ground. Why he came alone, Seongje had no idea. But clearly, it was a mistake. They all stared at him heaving breaths against the dust on the ground. If Seongje admired anything, it was people whose resilience never broke. Daehyun put both of his hands against the surface and rose up on his knees, wiping the back of his wrist across his bruised lips.

Seongje looked in intrigue, raising a brow. He smiled, all teeth, all venom. He took off his glasses and handed them to the newbie, standing up. His neck cracked from side to side. "Gotta say, you're pretty fucking strong, huh? Why don't you wanna join the union?"

"You know what my name means? Daehyun? It means 'great virtue'. You think I need you fuckers with such a complex?" Daehyun laughed dryly, getting up wobbly on his feet.

Seongje came face to face with him in two lazy strides, nodding. He took out a cigarette, the newbie rushing to him with his lighter. He took a long drag. "How cool, mhmm? Too bad I don't fuck with it." Seongje said, eyes lighting up with the thrill of the oncoming fight, his shoulders lifting slightly as he got into his stance, body thrumming with anticipation. The cigarette drooped between his smirk as he dodged a punch from Daehyun before throwing his own fist into the boy's stomach. Daehyun coughed up blood, stumbling back as he gripped his middle. His glasses were long gone. He glanced up at Seongje from beneath his eyelashes, a smile still painted on his face.

Seongje sobered as Daehyun drag his feet onwards again. He lifted his right leg and did a roundabout kick to hit Daehyun's head. Daehyun caught his leg just an inch away from his hair and took it as an advantage to head butt Seongje. Seongje tripped back, head humming as blood rushed in. His vision spun for a second before refocusing. He let out a low hummed laughter coming out of his throat, fists shielding his face as he recovered from the blow. Daehyun attacked again with his own aimed kick. Seongje ducked and slammed his fist into Daehyun's jaw, sending him flying to the ground. He stepped forward and kicked at the boy's ribs. Again and then again. Daehyun's eyes were closed once Seongje moved back and looked down at him, out of breath.

Seongje fixed his hair and put on his glasses, hands smoothing down his jacket. His cigarette had fallen to the side. It had only happened a handful of times before today—including Baekjin, Humin, that pen pyscho Si-eun, and Gotak once. No one managed to get that far into fights with him. Truly an honor if you can last that long against him. He glanced away from the cigarette and to Daehyun. His eyes might be closed, face bruised, but his lips still held an arrogant sneer to it, however weak it might appear. Seongje snorted, shaking his head. He held a new cigarette between his fingers and took out his lighter to light it. "Patch him up." He said, walking away.

The union members looked at each other in surprise before they got to work.

Han Daehyun was decidedly his right-hand man. He hadn't chosen one the first week. After having fought half of the boys lined up and then skipping the ones that looked outright scared, he'd found no one worthy of the position. Baekjin told him his methods were wrong, that he needs to "evaluate based on their skills and experience, and how they handle business". Seongje was going to have fun rubbing in his face that his method was the correct one and more efficient than Baekjin's. He could tell Han Daehyun won't disappoint him.

He patched up some work back at the alley. A new burner phone had been hand delivered by one of Mr. Choi's men. He wasn't sure why they couldn't use the old one, but after a crackdown last week at the garage, he figured the man was wanting to be more careful. The records were done for the week, and everything was in place and working as it should be. It was Friday, and there wasn't much to do on the weekends. He looked up as Daehyun was brought in by Lee Seojun and Jeong In-Su, the latter proven very insignificant to the union. Daehyun was sat down on the couch in the corner. He laid down as the men left, groaning. "Bastard."

Seongje nursed an ice pack to his left cheekbone, tilting his head. "It's boss for you."

"What?" Daehyun frowned, eyes drooped but still focused on Seongje.

"You'll be working as my right-hand man. Don't get into fights you can't get out of, that's all you need to know. Oh, and keep your mouth shut." Seongje said, hoisting himself on his feet. He put the ice pack down and pocketed his phone.

Daehyun still seemed lost. He grunted, shifting. "What do I get out of this?"

"You get to fight and make easy fucking money." Seongje said, pausing at the door. "The clock starts tomorrow." He circled his finger and then left.

He left the alley and made his way to Baekjin's apartment. When he arrived, the guy by the entrance rushed to hand him some unopened letters. He glanced down at it and saw Baekjin's name on them. His eyebrows raised. "This has been in the mail for the last few days. Please don't forget to check the mailbox every now and then, sir." The man bowed and went back to his duty. Okay. Weird. Does this guy think Seongje lives with Baekjin or something? He clicked his tongue, glancing away. Whatever.

The hallway smelled like someone had just brought in party food for a hundred people. It made Seongje remember that he hadn't bothered to bring take out with him. He pushed the front door open after the pad made a 'ding' sound and closed the door behind him. He took off his shoes and slid them neatly by Baekjin's. The fucker had trained him like a damn dog. He rolled his eyes and then noticed the delicious aroma had gotten stronger the moment he'd entered the apartment. Was Na Baekjin cooking? He'd have to see it with his own eyes before he believed that.

He tossed the mail on the coffee table on his way to the kitchen and indeed, Baekjin had on an apron while he dipped a spoon in what looked to be Kimchi Jjigae(Kimchi stew). Seongje rushed and took the spoon in his mouth. "Shit, it's hot," He cursed. It tasted great, though.

Baekjin glared at him and then elbowed him aside. "Barbarian." He said, putting the spoon in the dish washer. He got a new spoon and taste-tested the soup. It needed more salt.

Seongje grinned, eyeing him up and down. "Where'd you find the chef costume?"

"It's called an apron." Baekjin replied, adding some gochujang while he was at it. He mixed everything together with ladle.

Seongje chortled, nudging the back of Baekjin's knee with his foot. "Didn't know you were such a househusband material."

Baekjin rolled his eyes, cutting the tofu into neat slices. "Cooking is a basic skill everyone should have." He said, mindlessly. He put the tofu slices aside and got the green onions lined up.

Seongje leaned on the counter next to him, he took a piece of the green onion that Baekjin was cutting and flicked it at him.

"Go away if you're not going to be useful." Baekjin glanced at him and then pointedly looked at the knife.

Seongje laughed. "I'm helping you relax by being the comic relief."

"Not needed."

Baekjin moved back in front of the stove, lowering the intensity of the heat and carefully placing the tofu slices on top of the stew with the knife. Seongje watched him with mischief in his eyes. "I got a right-hand man now."

Baekjin washed his hands and then wiped them. He glanced at Seongje, waiting for him to go on. Seongje looked into the refrigerator. Not finding anything, he walked to the pantry. "I fought him. He held up pretty well, so I hired him." He shrugged, snatching the snacks he bought not too long that he had stashed away in there.

Baekjin frowned. He took the snack away from Seongje's hands and put it back inside the pantry. Seongje turned to him with a mouth already opened in protest. "The stew is almost ready." He closed the pantry door. He hadn't exactly made it for both Seongje and him, but he didn't want to have leftovers. Besides, he knew Seongje would eat his half if he didn't make enough. Only explanation for why he didn't want Seongje eating snacks.

Seongje rolled his eyes. "Mom."

Baekjin turned off the gas stove. "Get the plates."

"You do realize I'm the union leader now? Some respect would be nice." Seongje grumbled, already getting out two plates with spoons. He got out two small bowls for the rice.

They sat down to eat. "I interviewed you when I hired you as the right-hand man." Baekjin said, blowing on his spoonful of Kimchi Jiggae before taking in the first bite.

"Yeah. Long and grueling process. Took you a shit ton of time to get back too."

"There were many applicants."

Seongje swallowed a spoonful of rice. "Shocking." He snorted, foot nudging Baekjin's under the table.

Baekjin paused. Continued eating.

Seongje nodded towards the forgotten mail on the coffee table. "Who knew you're the type of person that lets their mail pile up?" He shook his head. "Truly disappointing."

Baekjin turned his head to look at it. Surely enough, more than five envelopes were scattered on the brown wood. He'd checked the mail not too long. In fact, he'd done it just two days ago. Strange.

He licked the spice off his lips, returning to his food. Seongje caught the movement and glanced at his lips. Baekjin made eye contact.

Seongje coughed and got up to get a water bottle from the fridge. "How much chili powder did you put in the fucking stew? My tongue's burning." He came back with half of the bottle empty, lips red.

Baekjin held back an amused smile. "Can't handle spice?" So there were things that made Seongje invincible. Raw, human like.

Seongje breathed in and out of his mouth, glaring at Baekjin. "Fuck off."

"I'll make sure to add more chili powder next time." Baekjin said coldly. Or at least he hoped it came off that way.

"Ouch. I'm hurt that you want to kill me." Seongje faked a pout, focusing on his rice to Kimchi Jiggae ratio.

Baekjin stood up to get himself more stew, Seongje looking at his back in disbelief. Seongje scoffed, feeling oddly turned on at the revelation that Baekjin was better than him at handling spice. What else was he better at? He didn't wanna know. Not really.

"Is that surprising?" Baekjin responded, sitting down.

Baekjin made him wash the dishes, even though he was so tired from the whole day. He continued to make remarks about Baekjin treating him like a slave and making him do the chores around the house while Baekjin went through the mail. When he was done, he flickered water from his wet hands at Baekjin.

Baekjin threw the remote control at him. It hit the floor with a clank. Seongje grinned, kicking it aside before sitting down beside Baekjin. He peered over his shoulder and tutted. "Your fan letters? They must be missing you at your old school."

"It's an invitation to go study abroad." Baekjin put the letter aside, opening the next piece of mail. "Pick up the remote control."

"Don't feel like it." Seongje yawned, stretching his arms behind his head.

Baekjin turned his head to him, a silent glare in place. Seongje stared back. Baekjin could do it all day, but he knew Seongje couldn't—too restless, never still. After a minute of it, Seongje groaned, got up, and put the remote control back in its neat little spot that it always was when Seongje entered the apartment.

Baekjin read the next letter. Another invitation from a university. Seoul University. The most prestigious place you could go to to study in South Korea. He tossed it aside, opened the next one.

Seongje raised his eyebrows from beside him. "Are you gonna accept any of them?" He tried to hide the curiosity in his voice, the slight hint of hope that Baekjin would say 'no'. Well, he couldn't care less if the bastard wanted to study abroad or even in Seoul that was 20 miles away. He just wanted to know if he could live in his apartment just in case he did decide to go. That's all.

Baekjin tore open the last piece of mail. "I'm not sure. Maybe." He pondered. The last one was an advertisement and so were the previous two. He went to recycle them.

"So full of yourself," Seongje rolled his eyes. "Do they know you have a criminal record?"

Baekjin came back and turned on the TV. "They don't need to. I'm not in the gang anymore. Besides, they're looking for a student with good grades. Not a good person."

Seongje clicked his tongue. "Logic, reasoning, blah, blah, blah." He made a vague gesture with his hand. He searched around for a cigarette. The case emerged empty. He turned his head left. "You have any?" He hadn't seen Baekjin smoke in a while, but he might just be refraining until his body recovers.

To his surprise, Baekjin took out a pack and held one out for him. Seongje lit it aflame with his lighter and took a long drag. Baekjin grabbed one for himself as well and then put away the pack. He turned to Seongje with the cigarette dangled between his lips, eyes staring at his side profile. Seongje raised a brow, glanced at his mouth, and leaned in. He brought the lighter up to Baekjin's mouth while keeping eye contact.

Baekjin drew an inhale and blew the smoke in his face.

Fuck.

That went straight to Seongje's dick. He glanced at Baekjin's lips around the cigarette and shifted back uncomfortably, pulling the pillow over his abdomen. Baekjin had to know what he was doing. Bastard. He coughed, training his eyes on the screen to his right. When he glanced out of the corner of his eyes after a second, Baekjin was just as focused on the shitty show in front of them. He finished his cigarette, trying to ignore the painful feeling under the cushion. "Gotta go." He said, getting up and rushing to the door, not waiting for Baekjin's response.

—oo—

The next two days, Seongje didn't show up. Baekjin knew Seongje was most likely busy with being the union leader and the paperwork it came with, but he'd gotten used to seeing him everyday anyway. The expectations could never be quite shoved down no matter how hard a person tried.

Instead of focusing on the nagging feeling at the back of his mind though, he found himself trying to find a hobby. Something to keep himself occupied before he died of boredom. There were two things he could alternate between: violin and woodworking. He had a violin stored away that he'd received years ago. He wasn't sure if it would still tune to the right notes, but he could try.

He'd taken the cast off after the visit to the orphanage, but sometimes, his arm still hurt in accordance with his bad shoulder. The violin was tucked away in the two boxes he kept underneath his closet of clothes. Which one it was in, he couldn't exactly remember. It had been a long time since he'd opened either of them. He tugged the top one out using both his arms and set it down with a thump on the floor. He ripped the tape off and then dug inside. Old notebooks, some stuff from his childhood, friendship bracelets that Humin had made him—he looked at them for a while—and some other stationery. The violin wasn't there. He grunted in annoyance as he stood back up and walked over to the other box. This one was heavier, and as he dragged it out, his left shoulder suddenly hurt. He breathed out through his nose sharply and leaned back against the wall behind him. He waited for the pounding pain to go away and when it did, he brought out the box the rest of the way.

The violin was in there. Along with a gun and some bags of cash in a locker. That's why the box was so weighted. He opened the locker. Everything was in its place. He put the locker back in and then sealed the box with a tape.

Once he was in the living room, he carefully wiped the dust off the violin with wet wipes. It looked new as the day he'd received it from Ms. Yoon. He picked up the instrument in his hand and started working the strings. His ears were trained enough to know the correct pitch of each string. It took time, however, because the violin hadn't been touched in such a long period. He got it to work after several tries and then played a song he learned first when he was a child. It took three tries to get it right to the end. He'd forgotten some of the notes. He looked up other songs to play. That kept him busy until lunch time rolled around. He made bibimbap since he was feeling lazy.

His eyes looked at the clock and then at the front door while he ate, almost anticipating Seongje to burst through the doors and steal his lunch all for himself. He found himself thinking he wouldn't mind it so much. The thought annoyed him, so he got on his phone. There were messages from people that were asking his whereabouts or begging Baekjin for more time to return their money. He didn't exactly need the money right now, but he went ahead and told them to have it ready by next week anyway. He didn't want any of it getting in the start of the next school year in a month.

There were no messages from Seongje except the last one he sent two days ago:

—Can't sleep because of your spicy Kimchi Jjigae

And then:

—It was good tho

—Make it again, less spicy **kissy emoji**

One of Seongje's "weaknesses" was having a severe case of acid reflux. Baekjin didn't know if it was funny or pathetic. Both, he decided. He put his phone away and washed the dishes.

Two days of no Seongje wasn't something to worry about, but three days with no texts or even late-at-night-just-to-wake-Baekjin-up-calls from him was. He wasn't sure if should send Seongje a text to ask if he was dead or alive. Or if he should just call him. Or the worst option, just go to the alley and see what the fuck was up. Baekjin wasn't exactly worried. Seongje could handle situations, but he wasn't blind either. They were both still just…two teenagers. And there were things that could go wrong in their business if Mr. Choi decided so.

He opted to wait for one more hour and if he didn't get anything, he'd do something. What, he didn't know.

A strange boy appeared at his doorstep the same afternoon. His black hair touched the tops of his rectangle glasses, his built slightly taller and wider than Baekjin. Baekjin frowned, hand still on the door handle.

The boy looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you Na Baekjin?"

Baekjin wondered who this was. How they knew where he lived. Was it Mr. Choi's— No, what could he possibly still want? Of course, Baekjin was still a loose end, but he hadn't gone to the police when his injuries were still fresh and could be used as evidence, why would he go now? This was ridiculous. "Yes." He replied cautiously.

"I'm Han Daehyun, Keum Seongje's right hand man. He's in the hospital right now."

Chapter Text

There were things that scared Baekjin—like spiders. He just didn't expect this. "Is this some prank? Did he put you up to this?" He asked, eyebrows drawing together. He was going to kill him if this turned out to be a joke. What kind of sick fuck takes it that far? Seongje supposedly.

"Uh. No. Mr. Choi sent me here to tell you this." Daehyun frowned in confusion.

'His heart dropped in his stomach. His clutch was so tight on the door handle, it creaked under his grip. A vein pulsed on his neck from his jaw clenched. "What hospital?" He asked, rushing to put on his shoes.

Han Daehyun led him there.

It was nearing 5 pm in the evening when they reached the hospital and down the dim lit hallway. The room was secluded from the others at the end of the row. Baekjin rushed in first.

There were things that scared Na Baekjin—like spiders. Like closeted spaces. Like the hollow inside his heart left by Humin. Like being weak. He just never would've thought it would be seeing Keum Seongje on a bed with an IV on his left arm, with his face bruised, with his right hand in a cast.

Seongje was asleep, however. And Baekjin was glad, because if Seongje had seen him so…bothered, Baekjin didn't know what he would have done. He swallowed the lump in his throat, composing himself. It wasn't as bad as he envisioned, and that helped. His hands shook slightly, for whatever reason. He shoved them in his jacket pockets, heart rate returning slowly to normal. It was all he could hear in his ears. A hand reached out to touch his shoulders, and he flinched away, hands ready to fight.

Daehyun raised his eyebrows, clearly taken back.

"Sorry man. Mr. Choi told me to tell you that he got into a fight. The doctor said he should be able to go home in a week." Han Daehyun explained, nodding his head towards Seongje. "Pretty tough guy." He added, looking impressed.

Baekjin wasn't listening to him anymore. The moment Mr. Choi's name left Daehyun's mouth, he knew what was up. It was very obviously the doing of Mr. Choi's men, just like they'd done to Baekjin. For what reason though, it staggered him. What exactly did the bastard want? Why would he have his men beat up Seongje? The not knowing prickled his skin, made him unbelievably mad, hands curling into fists at his sides. Daehyun left after telling him that he had to go run some errands.

Seongje looked peaceful in his sleep. His right eye lid was swollen purple, a small scar ran diagonal through the corner of his lips on the left, his cheekbones stained red. Baekjin dug his nails into his skin enough to hurt and ground him. It did. He stepped forward warily. A stool sat beside the bed, and he lowered himself on it. His eyes stared at the IV in Seongje's arm, supplying him with fluids.

Baekjin didn't know how long time passed, but a nurse came in to check on Seongje. He didn't glance up. The nurse did her check-up, paused, and then turned to Baekjin. "Are you a friend of Mr. Keum?"

In the real world, yes, they were. In their world, they liked to play cat and mouse with the word. "Yes." He replied, voice low.

"Oh, alright. We asked him yesterday if he had any family or friends we should reach out to, but he said "a dead man goes alone" or something." The nurse said, frowning as she observed Baekjin.

That sounded about right, Baekjin thought solemnly. Even situations like this, you could count on Seongje to be himself fine. But he still felt sharp twinge in his chest out of disappointment that he hadn't told them Baekjin's name. It left a sour taste in his mouth he refused to acknowledge.

The nurse continued when she didn't get a response, slightly dumbfound, "Anyway, glad you could be here. He should be discharged soon." She rushed.

Baekjin finally nodded. "Thank you."

She lit up at that. "You're welcome!" She exclaimed and exited the room.

Seongje seemed to have heard her excited response as his fingers moved. His head turned from right to left slowly, away from the window. It took a few seconds for him to open his eyes. They landed on a figure. Na Baekjin. He grunted, "Am I dead?" There was no way he was seeing—

"You wish." Baekjin spoke, coldly. He needed answers.

Seongje cracked a small smirk. "Aww, you missed me?"

"Han Daehyun came to me." He replied, eyes fixed on Seongje's face.

Seongje tried to roll his eyes. He couldn't, one of them refused to cooperate. "Bastard." Was all he could manage to say.

Baekjin waited for him to continue on talking. Tell him what had happened, but he just averted his eyes, shifting. There was a small sound of shuffling and then a pack of cigarettes made an appearance from underneath Seongje's pillow. There was a lighter also. His right hand couldn't move much, so he had to hold the cigarette between his lips and attempt to do it with his left. Awkward. Not practiced.

Baekjin decided there were things more important than smoking right now and snatched the cigarette and the whole pack away. "Talk." He said.

Seongje frowned at the interruption and scoffed, grinning. Vulnerable. It wasn't as hard for Seongje to be seen like this by Baekjin—unlike Baekjin himself—but it still felt like he was exposed. Weak and woeful. "Fuck, can I just take a drag, your majesty? Or do I have to fucking beg you for that?"

Baekjin banked on the anger. The sarcasm. The derisive grins. He knew Seongje's defense mechanisms as much as he knew his own. Where Baekjin's were hateful, stubborn silences, Seongje's were the opposite.

The only way was asking him the questions outright. "Mr. Choi told Han Daehyun that you got into a fight."

He remained still for an answer. A beat and then another. The clock ticking on the wall behind Baekjin was the only noise in the room. Another beat. Seongje's face gave away almost nothing. Almost. There was a flicker of something in his eyes too late to not be seen.

"I got into a fight with some fuckers." Seongje answered eventually, his shoulders raising in a shrug, expression schooled to be bored.

Baekjin didn't know how else to say this. "You never get this beaten up in fights." If there was a hint of admiration in his voice, it was intended. He fought almost as well as Baekjin did, perhaps even more so now that Baekjin was out of practice for several weeks. Their spars didn't count. If he'd said Seongje was outright lying, he wouldn't get them anywhere. Would just thicken the tension.

Seongje snorted out his nose, turning his head to face Baekjin, a gummy smile in place. "Why thank you. Unlike you, I possess some real skills." He nodded.

Baekjin would've gave a reaction if they weren't in the fucking hospital with Seongje injured. His patience was running thin—as it always did with Seongje—but today, he didn't have it in him to put up with the boy.

He leaned his arms forward on his knees. "Did Mr. Choi's men do this?" Is it because of me?

Seongje looked back into Baekjin's eyes. Dangerously empty. Not an emotion in them. The same eyes Seongje remembered seeing everyday when Baekjin was still his boss. He wasn't anymore, though. Seongje didn't have to answer him. "No." He replied simply. Baekjin didn't blink, nor did he.

Baekjin knew a lie when he saw one. He couldn't tell right now. He straightened his posture. Swallowed. Saw Seongje's eyes follow the movement.

The nurse came in again, with a "Dinner's ready!" as she pushed a trolley inside the room full of fresh fruit and soup. Either she couldn't tell the room was awfully tense or she could, but chose not to pay any mind to it.

Seongje was still staring at him, ignoring the nurse's questions like background noise. He watched as Baekjin stood up and left. He didn't have an appetite.

Baekjin entered his apartment and closed the door with a soft click. The possibility of Seongje getting into a fight with someone who was stronger than him wasn't out of the question, but something told him, no, someone told him, it was their doing. After all, how would Mr. Choi know Seongje got into a fight? Their men didn't keep an eye on them 24/7. It could be plausible that one of the boys at the alley called Mr. Choi to inform him what had happened to their boss, but then why would Daehyun say he was instructed by Mr. Choi to tell Baekjin that Seongje got into a fight? None of it made any sense whatsoever.

He took a shower and checked his messages. Nothing appeared from an unknown number that would raise suspicions. Something still felt off. He fell asleep on an empty stomach.

The following morning, he woke up, got ready, and prepared chicken soup. It just so happened to be that Seongje was at the hospital. And the fact that his injured state might have something to do with Baekjin…made him feel oddly guilty. Baekjin wasn't dumb. If Mr. Choi had something to do with Seongje's current condition, he'd probably have him keep his mouth shut. And therefore, lie.

He packed the soup in a soup mug along with Kimchi and rice(definitely not allowed).

Half an hour later, he was stepping inside Seongje's hospital room. Seongje was smoking. God knows where he got another pack. No doubt he had another one hidden away in case the first one got found out.

Seongje could tell it was Baekjin without even having to glance that way. The nurses usually greeted him when they came in. He was halfway through the cigarette. A bag thumped on the table beside his bed. He raised a brow. "Cooked for me? You really didn't have to, dear." He sniffed, as if touched.

Baekjin rolled his eyes. "Consider it an act of pity." He said, repeating the words said to him before.

Seongje grinned, entertained.

"I haven't showered yet, you know."

"Ask a nurse."

"Even though I have my closest friend by my side? How cruel." Seongje pouted.

Baekjin ignored the fact that Seongje just called him his "closest friend" and took out the soup with the spoon and then after glancing behind him, fished out the kimchi and rice. "Eat it before it gets cold."

Seongje seemed delighted, eyes lightening up a fraction. "Who knew you were so naughty. Sneaking in forbidden food." He chuckled, pushing a button to sit himself up. He could easily drink the soup, but it would be near impossible to hold his chopsticks with his left hand. He glanced up at Baekjin, and Baekjin sensed the dilemma.

He scoffed. "I'm not feeding you."

"Would you rather see me use my hand to eat?" Seongje challenged, a glint in his eyes. He pretended to lick his hand.

Baekjin blinked. Fine. He used the chopsticks to pair the kimchi and rice together and brought it to Seongje's mouth with a hand extended under his chin in case anything fell out.

Seongje ate, humming with his eyes closed. "All they've been giving me is bland, shitty food."

Baekjin couldn't blame them. Even if Seongje wasn't sick, it was probably what he deserved to eat. He really shouldn't have packed the kimchi and rice, because that's all he ate. Spoiled brat.

"Drink the soup or I'll tell the nurse you snuck food in." Baekjin says, putting the empty containers back in the bag.

Seongje chortled. "And you don't think I'll tell them it was you?"

"They have no way of telling who it was."

"You're the only one who's visited me in two days." Seongje threw back.

That made Baekjin pause. He glanced up. Seongje's dad couldn't care less if his son didn't show up at home in a week. And his mom…he didn't know much. "What about your mom?"

"She doesn't know. Better that way." Seongje looked away and out the window to his right.

Well. Alright. From what he'd heard the boys talk about and from Seongje's sometimes drunken rambles, his dad and mom had separated when Seongje was in middle school. Why, he didn't know. But that was all he was aware of. What his mom did for work or if she was even alive, he wasn't sure. He felt like it wasn't the right time to ask either.

"Can you walk?" Baekjin asked after the brief silence.

Seongje turned his head again, nodding. "Want me to show you?" His lips pulled upwards, left leg shooting out as if to kick Baekjin. Baekjin was way too far for it to land. He deadpanned.

"Go to the bathroom. I'll help you…undress." Baekjin said, eyes firmly fixed away.

Seongje's smile widened in devious glee. "Eager to get me naked much?"

Baekjin shoved him on his way.

When they entered the bathroom, Baekjin made Seongje face the other way in order to untie his patient gown from behind. His breath hitched the moment the two halves of fabric fell away, anticipating…

Seongje had his pants on. Thank god. Baekjin sighed, stepping away. When Seongje turned around, Baekjin's eyes involuntarily trailed down and then snapped up to his face when he spoke.

"You're not gonna hold my hand while I shower?" Seongje asked with an innocent expression, head tilted.

Baekjin glared and then left, closing the door, Seongje's cackle following him out.

When he came out, a nurse was in the room, fixing Seongje's breakfast, probably not having noticed Baekjin's bag beside the stool. He sat down silently.

"The doctor should be coming soon." The nurse told him.

Baekjin looked away from Seongje's bed and up at the nurse from where he sat, nodding.

The nurse smiled. "If you need anything, please press the button on the wall." He said, pointing to his left.

Baekjin said, "Thank you". The nurse left.

His mind went back to what he saw in the bathroom. There were bruises on Seongje's ribs. They didn't seem severe, but they were slightly colored bluish purple, which meant they were hurt enough to possibly induce pain. He had similar ones on his body not too long ago. Mr. Choi's men, a valley, grunts, flashing lights. The memory of it never quite died down. Especially now, seeing Seongje like that.

His eyes came into focus. He shook his head slightly. The shower turned off inside the bathroom. Seongje emerged a few minutes later, looking refreshed but no less injured. A stab of guilt gathered in his throat again. He kept his gaze straightforward.

Seongje sat down on the bed, close to where Baekjin sat, knees almost touching. He knocked his foot into Baekjin's, watching him keenly. Baekjin glanced at him. "What?"

"What what? Don't bring your depressed ghost energy here. The nurses like me. Think I have a shot with the tall one." He winked, dangling his legs back and forth.

Baekjin faced him. "I think you're mistaking hostility for interest."

Seongje mock gasped and then cracked a smirk. "Are you jealous?"

The door opened after a knock they both hadn't totally talked over, and the doctor walked in. She came forward with a clipboard in her left hand and a pen in the right. "Seongje-ssi." She greeted.

Seongje sighed, properly getting on the bed. "Doctor Jeong."

Doctor Jeong chuckled at his dramaticness, stealing a glance at Baekjin. "Who, may I ask, is this?" She asked, checking his vitals.

Seongje looked sideways. "My…friend." He stared at Baekjin. Baekjin peered back at him.

Baekjin stood up and bowed once. "Nice to meet you."

"Pleasure is mine. Seongje-ssi, how are you feeling?" She asked, looking over her chart.

Seongje snorted. "Fantastic, of course."

Doctor Jeong raised her eyebrows, but didn't question him further. "May I examine your hand?"

He extended it to her. She pressed a few points, testing. He hissed at a particular one, cursing. The doctor hummed to herself and wrote something down on her clipboard. "The tendons that connect the muscles to your finger bones are still inflated. It should go back to how it was in about a week or two if you let it completely rest. You'll come in for routine check-ins once a week."

Seongje nodded, half-listening, half thinking about what he'd like to eat once he's out of this hellhole. Doctor Jeong seemed to notice that. "You still have another twenty-four hours of stay. And no, I cannot sneak you out of here. Or let you pay me money to release you." She shook her head, slightly smiling, her hands crossed behind her back.

Baekjin wasn't shocked Seongje had tried to bribe the doctor into letting him go. He was just embarrassed like a parent for their irresponsible child. He glared at Seongje as Seongje opened his mouth, interrupting him. "I apologize for any trouble he caused in the past few days." They had to be careful.

Doctor Jeong waved him off. "You don't need to apologize. He's been great. Just…very bored at times." She threw Seongje a humorous look before leaving.

"Fucking doctors, man." Seongje huffed.

The rest of the day passed pretty quickly. Baekjin left the hospital once to get some lunch for himself—that Seongje also indulged in without permission. One of the nurses came in while Seongje was digging in the ramen bowl. He paused for a second, looking at Baekjin who seemed to tense immediately.

There was an awkward silence before Seongje quickly ate the rest of the noodles, chewed them quickly, and then babbled, "He brought them to me."

Baekjin looked at him, unamused. "He bribed a nurse." Seongje narrowed his eyes at him.

The nurse coughed, entering. "Please make sure not to do it again."

She took out a new IV and got prepared to change his old one.

Baekjin ate the rest of Seongje's ramen in the meantime. That's what he gets for throwing Baekjin under the bus.

When the nurse left, Seongje groaned in a melodramatic manner, collapsing back on the bed. "What have I done to deserve this cruelty?"

Baekjin sighed heavily. "Where do I begin."

Seongje gave him an unimpressed look. He bent his knee and then shot his leg out to kick Baekjin's stomach. Too slow. Baekjin caught his foot with one hand while he drank from a bottle of water from the other.

"Fuck." Seongje said, wiggling his foot. Baekjin kept his grip on it as he stood up and gathered his things with one hand. He let go when he was done, moving back.

"Don't do anything stupid." Baekjin advised and left.

Seongje grinned. "Yes, mom."

Baekjin made his way home in a bus that stopped a ten minute walk away from his apartment. He'd walk the rest of the way home, although it appeared as though it was going to rain soon. He'd get wet, not a big deal. There wasn't much he'd gotten out of Seongje the whole day. He didn't talk about how he got into the "supposed" fight he told him about or who it was, and that only made Baekjin more sure that it might not have been a fight after all. It could just have been Mr. Choi's men.

The rain drops started just as he was about to reach his apartment complex, but before he could make a decision whether to take shelter or not, the rain drops turned into full on pour down. There was a convenience store, and he quickly stepped inside, shaking water off of him at the entrance. When he looked up, Humin was behind the register counter. His hand paused on his left jacket sleeve, startled.

"Baekjin." Humin said, the word a mumble.

Baekjin stared at him in surprised silence, swallowing. When Baekjin didn't say anything, Humin rushed to add. "Do you need an umbrella?"

Of all places he'd expect to see Humin at, it wouldn't have been a convenience store. Or any other place, if he was honest. Because, even though they lived in the same city, they still existed in worlds light years apart. No way to reach each other. It was better that way.

"No." He replied, moving aside as a customer walked in. Humin greeted them politely—all smiles even on a rainy day—and then diverted his attention back to Baekjin.

"I-I heard about Seongje." Humin came around the corner.

Baekjin frowned slightly. How did he hear about Seongje being in the hospital—

"You should stay away from him now that he's the union leader." Humin continued, voice lowering as he got closer, standing in front of Baekjin.

Baekjin's gaze hardened, clenching his jaw. "Why do you care?"

"Because he's crazy! He can kill you." Humin said, baffled.

"You don't know him." Baekjin responded coldly.

Humin looked taken aback, posture stiffening. "I know him enough to know that he's dangerous."

Baekjin stared at him. He wasn't wrong. But he knew Seongje wouldn't kill him. At least not by his own motive.

"I can defend myself. So you can keep your advice to yourself."

Humin scowled. He opened his mouth to say something when the customer called for him at the check out.

Baekjin watched as Humin gave him a last glance, "Be careful." He said, swallowing.

He went behind the register and put on a smile for the shopper.

Baekjin's posture relaxed just a little. The rain had stopped outside. He shot Humin a look and left.

—oo—

The day after the next, they released Seongje. Baekjin told him he should go home first, but Seongje insisted on having his full recovery at Baekjin's apartment. "There is no AC at our house. I would fucking die. Besides, don't you like my lovely company here?"

Baekjin didn't reply, going to the kitchen and getting himself a snack. He sat down in the armchair, ripping the bag open. Baekjin took a chip in his mouth. He extended the bag to Seongje and Seongje grinned, hand reaching out to take one. Baekjin retreated just as he was about to do that.

Seongje gaped.

"You didn't share any of yours when I was in recovery. Why should I?" Baekjin asked, chewing.

Seongje's mouth was still open in shock. "Torturing a person when they're dying? You're so evil."

"You'll have to go home soon. You can't stay here forever." Baekjin said, instead. Because they can't keep avoiding the topic with Seongje's lame jokes. He takes another chip into his mouth and then tosses the bag on the coffee table, pointedly away from Seongje.

Seongje perked a brow. "Can't I?"

He knew the answer so Baekjin didn't provide one.

"Fine. Fine. I'll call my mom. I'm not going home, though." Seongje relented, groaning when he leaned on the wrong hand to sit up.

Baekjin's eyes studied his purple eye. "Okay."

"She'll probably tell me to go live with her at her apartment, but I can't do that now. Union leader and all that."

Well, they could technically be roommates if Seongje paid the rent— Baekjin mentally shook his head at the idea. No. No. God, no. Seongje was already terrible as it was. To have him around 24 hours every day would age Baekjin right to his death. Besides, what about sharing their living spaces and the bathroom? That would be too much. He didn't want to run in on a naked Seongje. The image from the hospital showed itself in his head like a never ending loop. He glanced away.

It was like Seongje could see Baekjin's thoughts. "What if—"

"No." Baekjin declared before Seongje finished the sentence.

Seongje's brows gathered in the middle of irritation. "What? Do you even know what I was going to say?"

"We can't be roommates."

"Why not?" Seongje asked.

"Because your habits are terrible as they are. I don't want to have to deal with them 24/7."

Seongje reached for the snack with his left hand across the coffee table. Baekjin moved it away. Seongje kicked his shin. "You already deal with me everyday. I don't think it's going to make a difference if I start living here."

Baekjin returned the action. "I was forced to. You wouldn't leave me alone." He grumbled.

"I think you like dealing with me. Isn't that right?" Seongje tilted his head to the side, a knowing smile tugging its way on to his lips.

That made Baekjin speechless. But not for too long. He threw back, "Why would I voluntarily choose to put myself through mental torture by having you around?"

Seongje's smile broadened, as if this was all going the way he wanted to. It really was. "That's what I'm asking. Why do you keep letting me walk in here and get under your skin?"

"You have been doing so, for the past what? 2 months." Seongje continued without waiting for Baekjin's answer. He saw Baekjin's jaw flicker and licked his lips in delight. "I'd say you like dealing with me, mhm?" His foot nudged Baekjin's. Baekjin gulped, Seongje's eyes instantly flickering to the movement.

Even in this condition, Seongje was somehow managing to be just as obnoxious. It got a physical reaction from Baekjin either way. And it was one he couldn't let Seongje see, even if he was dead. He got up, let a shiver run down his spine as Seongje watched him.

"You should call your mom now before I kick you out." Baekjin said from the kitchen, sticking the snack back in the pantry, where it was before. He heard Seongje let out a quiet laugh, undoubtedly knowing what just happened.

Baekjin was going to kill him.

Chapter Text

Baekjin took a few moments in the bathroom to calm…well, whatever the fuck was going on with his body while he heard Seongje call his mom. He couldn't hear them very well. Seongje was speaking in a volume that he'd never heard him talk in before. He walked out and saw him leaning against the windows, a chocolate bar in his hand.

It had been a while since he'd heard Seongje pissed off. He didn't necessarily mean to eavesdrop as he sauntered to his bedroom to give them privacy, but what he heard sounded something like: "Right, of course it's my fault for being born."

Ten minutes later, he heard footsteps and then his bedroom door open. He was working on tuning his violin. Seongje didn't say anything, sitting down on the bed beside him, an inch of space between them. Their shoulders brushed. Baekjin didn't pay him any mind, fingers moving deftly on the violin strings. He plucked a string. Too low. Seongje stared at the instrument, brows knitted. Baekjin glanced sideways when he was done. Seongje met his eyes. He looked away.

It felt very awkward, because he wasn't sure if Seongje wanted to talk about it or ignore it altogether.

Seonjge got out a cigarette, lit it, and brought it to his mouth. The room felt stuffy. Hot. Baekjin breathed in the smoke thoughtlessly and then tensed slightly. Seongje's shoulder touched his as he gently plucked the violin out of his hands. Baekjin let him, relaxing a little. Seongje's fingers moved down the strings then up. "Can you play it?"

Baekjin nodded slightly.

"Play something then." Seongje handed the violin back. Baekjin didn't know what to play. What they were doing. Why they were doing what they were doing, but his head felt slightly dizzy. And Seongje's voice was quiet, like he was pleading. Or maybe Baekjin was just imagining things, and this was all a dream his mind had made up out of desperation. His arms moved on their own, anyway. He picked up the bow with his right hand, violin with his left, bringing it underneath his chin. He shifted to create space for himself to properly play and then started the melody of the first song he'd ever learned. It had been perfected over the last week, but it still needed a little more tuning.

Seongje's gaze wouldn't falter from the sight in front of him. He followed Baekjin's fingers moving across different strings as he played an unfamiliar tune. There was something so beautiful about the way his eyes had fallen shut, the way his eyebrows pinched just the slightest—not in a tense manner, quite the opposite—, the way a strand of hair fell on to his forehead, the way the sunlight painted his face in warm, golden shadows that made his features appear softer than they were. There was something so beautiful about Baekjin playing a violin.

The music ended too soon, breaking his trance. Breaking the fantasy bubble they had created for such a short time. His cigarette was half finished as Baekjin carefully placed the violin and its bow back in the case.

Baekjin sat back again. A minute later, Seongje chuckled grimly, "She offered to let me crash at hers for a few days. Out of the kindness of her heart, of course. Thinks I shouldn't be getting into fights in the first place. Can't escape the consequences if I continue to get into trouble."

He leaned over to throw the cigarette into the trash bin kept beside Baekjin's desk in the opposite corner of the bed.

Baekjin didn't say anything for a long moment. Seongje flamed another cigarette and passed it to Baekjin after taking two lengthy drags. Baekjin considered denying it, was on the verge of opening his mouth to do so, but something inside him insisted he doesn't. So he took it. Placed his lips where Seongje's were two seconds ago. Didn't feel anything. Let himself relax.

He stared upp at the ceiling with his head slightly tilted upwards, the smoke curling out from his lips. He could feel Seongje shift beside him, the bed creaking under their shared weight. "Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains. Jean-Jacques Rousseau."

Seongje's gaze turned to him, looking amused. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Baekjin passed the cigarette back to him.

"That free choice is an illusion. We're all restrained in one way or another."

Seongje blew the smoke at his side profile as he said, "And what does that have to do with this?" He made a motion with his hand, taking another long inhale.

"Your mother doesn't want you to fight. However, you have the choice of deciding if you do or do not want to. But do you really?"

Seongje sighed in irritation. "Don't talk like that. Get to the point."

"Either you accept her want or you choose your own want. It can't be both."

"I'm almost an adult. Why the fuck should I abide by her rules? I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want."

"She cares for you." Baekjin stated as a fact with no emotion.

"And? She didn't do that when I needed her to." Seongje argued, voice breaking in unconstrained anger. Baekjin met his eyes. It was gone as soon as it had appeared.

Baekjin shrugged, resuming his stare on the ceiling. "Then fuck her. Do what you want." It was meant to be comforting, maybe.

The next morning, Seongje left after they had breakfast. They hadn't talked much since yesterday when they had that conversation in Baekjin's bedroom. Too vulnerable. Too real. The extent frightened them both to different levels.

Seongje arrived at his mother's at ten in the morning. On his way, he'd told Han Daehyun on the phone to take care of everything while he was gone. He sounded rather stressed, but Seongje told him to just do it and hung up.

It was quiet when he entered through the front door, and he sighed internally in relief. She was probably at work. Doing good for the nation, the state. Attending meetings with pretentious people like her. It all left a bitter taste in his mouth to think about.

There was food on the counter with his name. 'Reheat it in the microwave- Mom.' Very loving. He almost threw it away before bunching it inside his pants.

Hope was an ugly thing.

He took the bowl and put it in the microwave. When it was ready, he brought it to the living room, sat down, turned on the TV, and ate.

Seongje's eyes inevitably fell on his hand, and his jaw clenched as the memory of it unfolded once again.

—oo—

Mr. Choi was paying an undue visit. And Seongje wasn't having it. His cigarette was half finished, eyes focused on the papers in front of him when scattering thuds against the ground entered in his hearing range. He glanced up and saw Mr. Choi's men hovering by the doorway as the man walked in. Same suit, same glasses, same fucking face. All so infuriating. He hadn't slept in 24 hours, and if this fucker demanded more than a minute of his attention, he was going to lose it.

Mr. Choi sat down on the couch and took out a cigar. One of his men came forward with a lighter. The smell of tobacco engulfed the room. Seongje got up, walked around the desk, and plopped himself down beside him.

"I have a task for you. You might not like it, but well, this is a business no one likes. We all have to do what's asked of us." Mr. Choi said, flickering ash on to the coffee table.

Seongje nodded solemnly for the sake of looking like he was listening. His eyes landed on the ash, and he almost rolled his eyes. He waited for Mr. Choi to keep talking. Tell him what was the task.

When he did, he nearly bit the cigarette in his mouth. "What?" He asked, not believing his ears. The sleep deprivation was really getting to him.

"Kill Na Baekjin."

Seongje's eyebrows frowned, eyes turning sharp, his jaw clamping shut. "Why?"

"Loose end. That's all. We don't need him anymore." Mr. Choi flickered his hand in the air.

Seongje had never killed anyone. Didn't intend to unless it was demanded. Even then, he wouldn't do it if it wasn't someone he personally had a vendetta against. He knew how to get rid of a body. It didn't mean he had killed someone though. And Baekjin— The thought of killing him or even someone else doing it made him feel complicated emotions he'd rather not think through.

He leveled his voice to not let his real feelings shine through. "Why me? Have your men do it." He swallowed, glancing away. He took a shaky inhale of the cigarette.

Mr. Choi ignored the way he was talking and set his eyes on him. Seongje didn't dare turning to him. "Because you're the union leader. Prove your loyalty."

Not a sufficient reason to fucking kill someone. He had been nothing but loyal even when he was just the right hand man. Fuck, what the fuck was he talking about? "I can't kill him."

"Why not? No one would know. He doesn't have anyone."

He does. He has Humin. Even though it seems like it doesn't. He has the orphanage. Even the fucking mailman. They'd all point to—it doesn't matter though. He wasn't going to fucking kill Baekjin.

"He's not going to go to the police. We can just let him go." He had to offer logic. There wasn't much he could do to deescalate the situation otherwise. Three to one wasn't exactly a fair deal.

Mr. Choi laughed, looking at his men. They let out chuckles too, shaking their heads. Seongje's eyes snapped to them, teeth gritting. "Oh, are you guys friends? That would complicate the matters a little, huh?"

Seongje smiled wide, eyes blank. "Friends? You think I'd have such a loser as a friend?" He cackled.

Mr. Choi snickered, nodding. "That's what I'm saying. It's a perfect revenge for you. Show him what it takes to be a leader."

"I'd need help, if I'm going to do it." He said, nodding towards Mr. Choi's men.

Mr. Choi smiled. "You underestimate yourself, son. I'm sure you can take that bastard on alone. He's still not fully recovered."

Seongje took off his glasses, throwing them on the coffee table. He turned his face to his left. "I want to make sure the job gets done, you know? Just in case." He chuckled lowly.

The older man stood up, nodding in satisfaction. "Alright. I'll send two men in an hour. You know where he lives, right?" He said, facing Seongje, a gleam in his eyes.

Seongje ran his tongue over his teeth, biting down on it hard as he repeated in his head: control yourself. He offered a grin.

Two hours later, he was in a car, sitting between two considerably bigger guys than him. Ji-ho and Ye-Jun, their undercover names. Seongje had given the address that led to a secluded alley and had told them that Baekjin would meet them there. Obviously, Mr. Choi had to trust Seongje enough for his men to be led there by him. To his surprise, the man did. Good.

When they reached the destination, he told them to wait inside. He got out, walked ten feet into the alley, pretended to get on a call, and turned around to give the men a nod. They got out and the driver stayed in. That was going to be a problem if he wanted his plan to work even a little—disregarding how stupid it was to begin with. He motioned to the car. "Na Baekjin might get suspicious if he sees the car."

The two men looked at each other. "What's he gonna do? Run?" The taller one laughed.

Seongje fixed him with a straight face, hands twitching to punch the guy's face. He cracked a small chuckle anyway. "He might. He can walk now. The fucker's resilient, you never know. He might even have a weapon."

The short one, Will, spoke up, "What do you suggest we do?"

"Tell the driver to hide." He offered with a careless shrug.

The pair exchanged a wordless conversation with their eyes and then nodded. "Fine. I'll tell him."

Seongje watched as the tattooed one talked to the driver, the driver glancing behind him and meeting Seongje's eyes. He took off with his car. The short man came back.

Seongje leaned against the brick wall behind him, assessing the scene. Both of these men were built strong, muscles visible on their arms. He glanced to his left. A trash cart. To his right, more trash in bags. He'd come here an hour ago, hid a knife in one of the bags that stood against the garbage cart on his left. He looked back at the men. Ye-Jun had a gun tucked in his waistband with a baseball bat in his hand. Ji-ho had spike gloves on both his hands, a pocket knife that peeked from his pants pocket. They had considerably more weapons than Seongje. Seongje felt around for his own pocket knife. That and the knife should be enough should they get too much.

They waited for five minutes. Then another five more. The duo were getting impatient, throwing him glances. He took out his phone, contemplated sending a last text to warn Baekjin, thought better, put it away—it was better he didn't know at all. "Alright, let's get this over with." He said and struck at Will.

The bat fell out of Will's hand, and Seongje grabbed it as Ji-ho came to hit him. He kicked him—didn't do much but still—and turned to the other. They might have the weight on them, but Seongje had experience and skill. He'd just have to use it wisely. There wasn't enough light in the alley to decipher which two of them he was punching and pushing, but they both stood relentless, regardless. He was slammed to the wall behind him by Ji-ho before being punched in his face, stomach, stomach again. He yelled, "fuck!" and hit the man in his groin. That made him stumble back.

Will lurched at him, and Seongje smacked his head with the bat, kneeing him in the stomach. Ye-Jun fell back and then took out his gun. Seongje headbutted him before he could get the weapon working, his pocket knife coming out to stab the man in his stomach, a screeching noise following.Ji-hoshoved him back, getting on top of him and punching his face. One of the punches was straight to his left eye, and he screamed in pain, using all the strength in him to push the hulk off of him. His right eye saw blackness. Nothing. But he didn't have time to panic about that as Ji-ho hurled at him. He raised his hand and stabbed the man in his shoulder, eliciting a loud cry from the man. While he was gripping his shoulder, Seongje took the opportunity to stick the knife in his thigh as well. Multiple times. He looked to his left, Ye-Jun was bleeding but held his gun steady. A shot went off that Seongje barely dodged. He crawled from Ji-ho to Ye-Jun and hit the same spot on Will's stomach he previously had. Ye-Jun yelled in pain. He took the gun out of his hand and got up wobbly on his feet.

And then, he ran.

It wasn't too long before Mr. Choi's car had reached him, however. The car's window rolled down as it followed him on the dim street. Water droplets had started falling lightly from above. Seongje's right eye could see a little more. Just barely. He clutched the gun in his left hand, standing upright and pointing it at Mr. Choi.

Mr. Choi got out. A man rushed out from the left passenger side of the car and held an umbrella over his head.

Seongje moved back.

"Disappointing." Mr. Choi said, shaking his head. He scanned Seongje's form. "Have to say, it's impressive you made it out alive."

"What the fuck do you want?" Seongje snapped, the gun swaying in his hand. He tried to raise his right hand to steady it with both hands but cursed loudly as pain shot through his hand, making it fall numb by his side.

Mr. Choi clicked his tongue. "My dad always believed in second chances, you know? Told me to do the same." He sighed.

"Kill Na Baekjin or you'll both die." He turned to his bodyguard. "Have someone take him to the hospital." And with that, he left.

A few minutes later, a car arrived.

—oo—

Seongje flinched as he attempted to curl his hand. Too hard. He cursed silently. A key fit into a lock and opened the front door. Ms. Keum walked inside, her eyes widening at the sight of her son's purple eye and injured hand. "Seongje-ah!" She said, coming forward. She dropped her purse on the coffee table and sat down beside him. Seongje kept his face expressionless as she took his hand in hers to see it properly. She then inspected his eye, her own going round.

She took a deep breath, eyebrows frowning. She opened her mouth to say something. Seongje interrupted her, "Don't."

Her posture tensed, looking at her son. She barely slept last night thinking about what Seongje's injuries must look like. He hadn't described them as bad, but you can never tell from a phone call. This was bad. She swallowed and moved her gaze to the empty bowl in front of Seongje. A sigh of relief passed through her nose. "How was the soup?" She asked softly.

"Delicious." Seongje said, without looking at Ms. Keum, voice bitter.

Ms. Keum sighed. She moved her hand to put it on Seongje's shoulder, paused, pulled back, and stood up to go to her bedroom to get freshened up.

Seongje glanced at her retreating back. He went to his bedroom and locked himself in.

There wasn't much to do all day. He couldn't play games now that his right hand was damaged, so he settled on doing a Harry Potter marathon. The first time he had watched it was to just drown out his parents' voices fighting in their bedroom. But then, it turned out to be actually interesting. He even wished he could do magic, so he could teleport from his house to some better place. To where, he didn't know. The prospect excited him, nonetheless. Helped him cope even. It was cool or whatever.

The first movie's ending song played just as his eyes started to lull close. He fell asleep before he even knew it.

When he woke up again, it was dark outside beyond the curtains. He reached in the dark for his phone. It blared 6:33 P.M. brightly in his eyes. He groaned, throwing it aside. A knock came on his bedroom door. He blinked up at the ceiling.

"Seongje-ah, dinner is ready! Come out." Ms. Keum said, her tone mellow. She waited for a few second and then left when she got no response.

Seongje got up and went to the bathroom first.

The smell of food hit his nostrils the moment he walked into the living room. He glanced to his left to see his mom working on getting out rice into bowls. He stepped inside the kitchen.

Ms. Keum looked up and smiled gently. "Everything's ready. Wash your hands and sit down to eat."

Seongje avoided her eyes. He wiped his hands on some napkins and then sat down. There was so much food it reminded him of his childhood when they would all eat together. He snorted quietly, eyeing the grilled fish in the middle. The side dishes included sauteed cucumbers, Korean meatballs with sauce, shredded cabbage pickles, and others he'd forgotten even existed because all he really had for a side dish for months now was kimchi. And sure enough, radish kimchi was there. His favorite. It would've warmed his heart if he didn't feel like he was such a burden in his own home.

He didn't wait for his mom to join him. He'd eaten alone enough to enjoy the art of it. Ms. Keum came after a few minutes, looking visibly disappointed. She didn't comment on it, though.

While they ate, she kept glancing at him, looking like she wanted to ask something but was holding back. Seongje met her gaze. She startled a little then composed herself.

"You told me you were staying at a friend's home. Can I meet them? I want to thank them in person."

Seongje shook his head slightly, chewing. "Not necessary."

She sighed. "Well, can I just meet them? I haven't met any of your friends in a long time."

"And whose fault is that?" He sniped, without looking at her.

She flinched, her hand holding chopsticks pausing in her rice bowl. She put down the utensil, her hands falling into her lap. "I admit, it was my fault for not taking interest in your life. But you just…you drifted away, and I felt like I couldn't reach you anymore, son." Her voice was quiet. Timid. No apology, though. Never an apology.

Seongje tightened his grip on his chopsticks. Right, he drifted away. Why? Because his parents couldn't talk without fighting, just like how he and his mom couldn't have a conversation without arguing anymore. The parallels were too much. He bit his tongue, swallowed another comeback, and let silence fall over them. What was he supposed to say? 'It's okay. Everything's fine. We can act like you don't want to disown me.'

He was still unsure why she wanted to meet Baekjin all of a sudden. Why now? Why after all these years of indifference was she abruptly wanting to "meet his friends". Yeah, like he had any.

Once he finished eating, he half-heartedly put his plates into the dishwasher out of habit with his working hand and then realized with alarm that Baekjin had drilled that same habit into him. He saw his mom eyeing him with the same surprise he felt, her arms carrying a pot as she stood still. His face burned, and he left halfway through stashing the bowls away, the dishwasher open behind him.

When he was back in his bedroom, he threw his glasses on the bed and ran a hand over his face and brushed the hair back from his eyes. Fuck. He needed a cigarette. He searched around in his jacket pocket that was flung over the couch in the corner. He brought the white stick to his mouth, set it ablaze, and took a shaky drag, sitting down on the bed. His right hand itched, and he cursed, slamming it against the edge. So fucking bothersome. It started throbbing in numb pain. Good. Better to feel pain than whatever he just felt standing in front of his mother. Like a good fucking boy, he had to put the dishes away. Like Baekjin had fucking drilled in his head to. Like a pet. Honestly, fuck him too.

He slumped back against the bed, chest heaving. Another drag. Calmness. His right eye twitched. He'd forgotten he even had that one working. He felt so broken, like a doll. A trash doll.

He was halfway through his second cigarette when he opened his phone and stared at the messages he'd sent to Baekjin in the past. None of them had been replied. All seen. The last one was when they'd eaten Kimchi stew in Baekjin's apartment, and how it had given Seongje heartburn. It had, really. He sat up, fingers hovering over the keyboard. His mom wanted to meet his "friend", but he wasn't even sure if his "friend" even considered Seongje a friend. Perhaps.

Would Baekjin say yes to meeting his mom, though? He'd probably never had done such a thing as "meeting a friend's parents" other than…well, Park Humin. Even then, he wasn't sure that would have happened when they were just kids, knowing Baku's old man. He didn't know much, either way.

He started typing out, "Want to meet my mom?" And then erased it. Too out of the blue. "My mom wants to meet you." He wrote again. But then, that felt like he was saying it as a threat. It was kind of one, he thought, in dark humor. After a few more attempts, he settled with:

—My mom is asking to meet you

—Apparently, she suddenly wants to "meet my friends" and take an interest in my life, randomest shit I swear

The messages were read in less than two minutes, sending a shiver down his spine. "Bored fucker." He said, exhaling a laugh as he felt his heart thump quickly. Couldn't be any other reason. Tch.

When Baekjin didn't reply after five minutes of his phone showing the 'seen' status, he rolled his eyes. Bastard didn't know how to reply to texts. He typed out hurriedly just as three bubbles started to appear:

—So, it's a no, okay I'll tell her

—oo—

Baekjin was working through a riddle on the internet when the message popped on the top of his screen. He barely glanced at it, still focused on solving the puzzle. Another message accompanied the previous one, and instead of ignoring it, he dragged it down, and read it.

Baekjin read the texts over and then again. Why would Seongje's mom want to meet him? They weren't really…friends. Or well, they were, but they just couldn't accept it. Based on what Seongje had told him about her, it took him a bit off guard. She sounded indifferent to Seongje's life other than telling him to stop fighting. This was very abrupt. He'd have to think.

His fingers moved on it's own to type out a "why", but Seongje had already told him the why. They back peddled. "How does she know about me?" felt like a good response. And then Seongje interrupted him just as he was about to send it.

—So, it's a no, okay I'll tell her

Baekjin frowned. Always so assuming. He wasn't far off, but Baekjin still wanted to ask him, so he sent his message.

—How does she know about me?

Seongje's reply was instant:

—I told her I was staying at a friend's home when I called her

—To get her off my back, obviously, couldn't tell her it was some 'ally', she doesn't know I'm in a gang

—Well, the union leader, to be more precise

Cocky asshole. Baekjin rolled his eyes. Tomorrow was Saturday, not that he had anything to do on the weekdays anyway. Seongje's mom probably did, however. Work.

He thought it over for some more minutes and then grabbed his phone. He typed out:

—Okay

Couldn't be that bad, right?

Seongje raised his eyebrows to himself in genuine shock. "Okay? What?" He mumbled. His left thumb pressed on the space key as he thought it over. He asked:

—Okay?

Baekjin answered:

—Yes.

Seongje blinked and then grinned. "He's crazy."

Chapter Text

That night, Seongje slept through a nightmare. Him and Baekjin were fighting in the dream. For whatever reason, the setting seemed to be the office back at the alley. Baekjin was on top of him, straddling, and out of nowhere, Seongje grabbed him roughly and kissed him. And if that wasn't appalling enough, Baekjin was kissing him back, pushing his hands up his shirt. The door suddenly opened, revealing Park Humin. He looked horrified at the sight before he grabbed Baekjin and took him away with him. When Seongje tried to run after them, he found his feet chained. To what, he had no idea. Another flash. Humin and Baekjin were friends, both studying at Eunjang, ready to fight Seongje.

He woke up with a mind-splitting headache. He cursed, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair, getting up from his bed. His eyes were red when he looked in the bathroom mirror.

After he had showered, he went to the kitchen to find something to eat. His mom was nowhere in sight, probably out on her morning walk or something. He ate the egg rolls with rice from last night.

His mom came home soon enough, out of breath. Seongje was chewing through his last bite. "Good morning, how did you sleep?" She asked, taking off her shoes at the front door.

Seongje swallowed the bite. "Fine." He muttered. If he ignored the dream. It still unsettled him. Probably nothing to worry about though. It's not like it was the first time. Whatever. He needed to stop thinking of Baekjin. And talking about Baekjin…

"My friend's coming over." He said as his mother was drinking from a water bottle. She almost spit it out in a comical manner, and Seongje held back an amused smirk.

She put the bottle away, "That's great! When are they coming? I'll make lunch."

Well, shit, he didn't know. They hadn't talked after last night. "12." He replied. That seemed like a reasonable time for Baekjin to get there. He got his phone out, texted Baekjin to get there by lunch time, and tossed it away.

His mom nodded enthusiastically. "Great! I'll get to work then."

The next two hours consisted of Ms. Geum asking Seongje his friend's favorite foods. If she should make something special. Or if there was something to avoid—"seafood", Seongje had said sullenly. He only knew that because Baekjin had keenly avoided the take-out crab soup Seongje had brought back to his apartment—not even touching it. Seongje hadn't eaten or bought seafood since. Whatever, he only told her because he didn't want to see Baekjin's allergy act out in front of his mom.

Although that would be funny.

What kind of person has a seafood allergy, anyway? Weirdo. He smirked to himself. Only Na Baekjin would.

The afternoon eventually shone bright outside. Seongje had long since retired to his bedroom after helping his mom, peeking out of his window every now and then to see if Baekjin had arrived. He wasn't "waiting" for him. He just wanted to be ready for any disastrous moments that might occur at the doorway.

A bell rang just as he started the 5th movie of Harry Potter, and he sprang up. "I'll get it." He said, passing his mom in the living room, who appeared a little baffled. She stood up from her seat on the couch.

Seongje opened the door to reveal Baekjin standing awkwardly with a basket of fruits and a bouquet on the other hand. Seongje hid an amused smirk as his mom rushed to greet Baekjin.

"Oh, you really didn't have to!" She said, accepting the gifts as she ushered Baekjin in. Baekjin bowed politely, taking off his shoes by the door. "Come in, come in." She said, excitedly.

The lunch was long ready, but she insisted they all sit down and chat a bit before eating. Seongje would've objected if not for Baekjin nodding in agreement. Tsk.

They sat next to each other, knees touching. Seongje was far more relaxed than Baekjin was, with his straight posture and all. So different from when they were alone in Baekjin's apartment. He poked Baekjin's side and relished in the fact that Baekjin couldn't kick him in front of his mom. His feet nudged against Seongje's, nonetheless, the urge strongly there.

His mom started talking. "Thank you for keeping and looking after Seongje! What a good friend you are! I didn't get your name, though. "

Baekjin wasn't sure what to say to her first comment—he hadn't really taken care of Seongje, he wasn't hurt that badly—so he nodded and responded with his name. "Na Baekjin." He said.

Ms. Geum smiled brightly anyway. Baekjin could see where Seongje got his looks from. She looked younger than she really was. "I hope your parents didn't mind him staying over." She continued, eyebrows frowning in worry.

Baekjin shook his head. Seongje opened his mouth to snark at her Baekjin's non-existent parents were kinder than his own could ever be when Baekjin interrupted him, "They're abroad. They don't mind."

Well…that works too. Seongje leaned back, sighing. Baekjin glanced at him sideways.

Ms. Geum noticed the exchange and chuckled. "Oh! Do they travel a lot for work?"

Baekjin stiffened. "Yes."

Seongje's mom nodded, humming. She stayed silent for a second before speaking up again, "Now, Seongje didn't tell me how you two met."

Shit. They hadn't discussed the specifics of what Baekjin meeting Seongje's mom for the first time would ensue. They obviously should have expected this question. Baekjin shifted, turning his head to Seongje, raising his eyebrows. "I think you should tell her." He said, calmly.

Seongje glared at him, faux-smiling while he bit back a 'fuck you'. Baekjin looked slightly entertained. He could just say they met when Baekjin first came to his school to fight, and now Seongje was the gang leader. That might be too much for his mom to handle though. He settled on: "We met at school. In math class. I helped him solve an equation, actually." He nodded solemnly.

Baekjin gave him a look as if to say 'really? you?'. He scoffed internally at the prospect of Seongje helping him with any of his homework. He didn't even do his own homework, let alone help Baekjin with his.

Seongje's expression was smug as Ms. Geum's eyes widened in glee. "Oh, is that right, Baekjin-ah? How nice!"

"Very helpful." Baekjin agreed dryly, glancing at Seongje.

Seongje grinned.

Soon enough, when the introductions were over, Ms. Geum led them all to the kitchen. She made Seongje set the plates on the dining table while she told Baekjin to sit down. Seongje rolled his eyes. Treating others' kids better than her own. Very on brand for her.

Baekjin watched as Seongje set the water glasses down. Seongje glanced at his mom before leaning forward and lowering his voice. "Since when did you turn all polite and mannered?" He huffed.

Baekjin peeked behind Seongje. "Since you helped me with a math problem." He threw back just as quietly.

Seongje narrowed his eyes at him and then tutted. "Goody two-shoes."

Ms. Geum's voice popped up. "Seongje-ah, grab this pot and bring it to the table!"

Seongje clenched his jaw in annoyance as Baekjin lifted a self-satisfied brow in return.

After a few more minutes of watching Seongje fussing about, they were all at the table with food on their plates. Baekjin waited for Seongje's mom to start eating before he dug in—Seongje, ever the brat, had already started eating.

"Thank you for the food. It's very delicious." Baekjin complimented quietly.

Ms. Geum's face brightened up instantly, flustered. "Oh, you're too kind." She waved him off. "I'd say it's a little salty."

Right. The modesty. Baekjin was well taught how to handle this by Ms. Yoon. "Not at all. It's perfect." He insisted.

Seongje's mom looked delighted.

Baekjin felt a pointed nudge underneath the table from Seongje beside him and kicked back.

Seongje coughed into his kimchi fried rice. Ms. Geum spoke up, "Are you okay?" He nodded in response to his mom and threw a glance at Baekjin.

"Baekjin-ah, why don't you tell her about the time you picked a fight with a gangster?" Seongje leaned forward, casually dipping a piece of fried chicken in the marinated sauce.

Ms. Geum's mouth fell slightly open in shock.

Baekjin tensed, turning to look at Seongje. Seongje turned his head to him with an innocent expression. Fuck him. He clenched his jaw, gulping down the food in his mouth to speak. "They were bothering some restaurant staff, and I merely intervened." He made up. Why he was lying, he didn't know. He wasn't exactly trying to impress Seongje's mom, but he wasn't exactly trying to traumatize her either. It wouldn't be "nice" to just throw it in her face. Besides, didn't Seongje say that he wanted to keep their "real identities" hidden?

"Oh, is that right? Because if I remember—"

"You weren't there." Baekjin interrupted him, eyes holding an edge as he peered at Seongje.

Seongje grinned. "Of course I wasn't. But you told me you knew them."

"I had heard of them previously, yes." Baekjin gritted out, keeping his composure. Seongje seemed to enjoy every second of it.

"Baekjin-ah, be careful, okay? Don't get into trouble with such people. You never know what they are capable of. I've told this multiple times to Seongje. He doesn't listen." She turned to glare at Seongje.

Seongje scoffed, sticking his cheek out with his tongue.

Baekjin said, "I told him not to get into the recent fight he did. I agree. He just never listens." He blinked.

Seongje turned to him with an annoyed smile. "And you're a saint, are you?"

Ms. Geum interjected. "What are you doing? Is that any way to talk to your friend?"

"I've grown used to it." Baekjin said with a regrettable sigh cast downwards to the table.

This bastard— Seongje didn't get a chance to say anything else as his mom started talking again, Baekjin providing hums and nods to her in feedback. It was baffling to see the Na Baekjin speak like this, so normal and…well, irritating, like a friend would be. The thought made his stomach do a little flutter. He huffed into his food.

When they were done, Baekjin—like the good boy he was pretending to be—offered to wash the dishes to which his mom profusely denied, saying he was a guest and she couldn't possibly let him do such a thing. She gave in when Baekjin said, "Please. Let me." Since when the fuck did Baekjin have charm about him?

Ms. Geum left to do other things, letting Baekjin and Seongje handle the dishes. Seongje sent daggers at Baekjin as he stacked the plates in the dishwasher. "What is this, huh? Some split personality disorder shit?"

"What do you mean?" Baekjin asked, coolly.

Seongje snorted. "Don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about. What was with the "please, let me" bullshit? Like you give a fuck about what she thinks of you."

"You're right. I don't care. But I have basic manners, something you lack." Baekjin retorted, washing his hands as he finished cleaning everything. He wiped his hands on the towel hung nearby, Seongje following suit.

"Oh I don't have manners? At least I don't lie about who I am." Seongje fumed, standing in front of Baekjin, blocking his way.

Baekjin tilted his head. "You don't? Then who's the union leader pretending to be you?"

"That's different—"

"I don't think so." Baekjin said, making his way around him and into the living room.

Ms. Geum was talking on the phone. She bid whoever it was a quick goodbye and put her phone down, smiling. "You should teach Seongje to be just like you. I suppose I have to thank your parents for my son having such a nice friend!"

Baekjin nodded wordlessly.

Seongje scoffed, grinning. "Trust me, you don't want me to be like him."

Seongje's mom only glowered at him.

"I should get going now." Baekjin remarked before the son and mom duo could get into another argument.

Ms. Geum attempted to make him stay, but he told her he had some errands to run and left.

—oo—

After a week of staying over at his mom's, Seongje was back at Baekjin's apartment, talking his ear off.

They were in the middle of an argument about which candy was the best they had as a child when Seongje's phone rang.

Baekjin eyed the device, saw Mr. Choi's name, and glanced away.

Seongje sighed, leaning forward and bringing it to his ears. He got up and walked out of the apartment.

Strange, Baekjin thought but didn't pay more mind to it. It was getting late, and he needed a shower.

Seongje closed the door behind him, holding the phone between his ears and shoulder as he got out a cigarette, a headache already forming. "Yes?" He said.

"It's been a week. How long do you plan to drag it out?" Mr. Choi asked, exasperated.

Seongje sighed. "My right hand is barely functioning. How am I supposed to kill him with it?"

"Maybe you just don't want to do it, you coward. You fooled my men! If you're not going to do it, just say it."

Seongje was going to kill this motherfucker if he didn't shut his mouth. He glanced back and then out in front of him. "I'll do it by the end of the next week." He hung up.

Well, fuck. He needs a plan.

Seongje goes back inside, finds Bakejin gone, sits down anyway.

He needed to tell Baekjin about this. About why he'd gotten into a fight. About Mr. Choi assigning him the task of fucking killing him. He couldn't do it, he wasn't going to. But then they'd both die. And as selfish as it was, he didn't want to die. Didn't want Baekjin to die either, for all his stubbornness.

He's halfway done through his cigarette when Baekjin emerged from the bathroom in his old man pajamas. Grey tee, pale blue bottoms. Seongje snorted.

Baekjin glanced at him as he passed to go the kitchen.

He always had a cup of water before he slept. Seongje still didn't know why. He took another drag and bummed the cigarette out on the ash tray. "Sit. We need to talk."

Baekjin looked very relaxed. Clearly not in the mood to continue their chatter. He came forward and sat down anyway.

Seongje lit another cigarette. There was no way of getting around this. "Mr. Choi wants me to kill you."

Baekjin stared at him. What. Why would Mr. Kim want him dead? He had the opportunity to kill him the first time his men beat him up after the Eunjang-Union fight, so why now? And why Seongje? Did he know they were—He probably did. No, definitely did. That's why the honor was given to Seongje.

He knows it was the wrong thing to say the moment it came out of his mouth but he couldn't help it, "Are you going to do it?"

He saw Seongje tense, shoulders rising up, eyes going blank, jaw clamping shut, his posture stiff. Baekjin can feel his blood run cold.

He opened his mouth to correct himself.

Too late.

Seongje leaned forward, fixing him with an empty laugh. It died down as soon as it came, but left the room feeling suffocating. "Fuck. I don't know. Do you want me to?"

The question wasn' meant to be answered.

It's mocking.

A bait.

A start to something they both didn't have the means to end.

Baekjin isn't supposed to say something back. It's not supposed to be met with a response, but his lips move on his own. "If you think I deserve it."

Wrong thing to say. Not the wrong time or the wrong place. It was the wrong response. And he could already feel the wrath before it even came.

Seongje is on to him in a second, hoisting Baekjin up by his collar roughly, bringing them face to face. "I've endured months of your self-pity act. Watching you be on your little couch, depressed and miserable. And you know what? I fucking gave a shit. But if you still think I would kill you, then maybe you do deserve to die." He barked, shoving Baekjin into the armchair.

Baekjin felt the force of the shove, felt his heart pick up its rhythm. He repeated the words he's said a million times before like a mantra, "I didn't ask you to."

Seongje's fist rose to punch him. Baekjin expected it to hit his face. It hit the space right beside his head, Seongje looming over him. "You think the world fucking revolves around you, you arrogant bastard? You didn't ask me to, but I still stayed. Hoping you'd stop and fucking look around you for once! But all you're capable of is being an orphan child and wearing that as a badge."

Baekjin's eyes widen in shock. What? How did he know that--

He stood up to ask Seongje to repeat his words, but Seongje was long gone.

For all the display of giving a shit, he didn't stay.

Baekjin hadn't asked him to.

Chapter Text

Seongje wasn't sure what was worse. Killing Baekjin or Baekjin asking him if he would do it. It all hurt the same. The knife pierced the clad skin of his heart and twisted there the more his mind replayed the words: "Are you going to do it?"

Maybe he should have. Should have ended the pitiful crush with Baekjin's death. If only he knew Baekjin still didn't see him as a living, breathing human being with feelings. Would've made it easier to lift the gun.

He wouldn't have, he knew. It was nice to think about it, anyway.

Three bottles were laying around on the couch next to him in the empty garage. Same couch he'd sat on with an impending statement not too long ago, even though it felt like it had been eternity since it happened. 'You didn't ask me if I was okay'. It hurt a little more today to think Baekjin never wanted to know the answer.

Seongje was just another pawn in Baekjin's grand game of chess. It always boiled down to games with him. And Seongje, ever the fool—so much for his sharp mind—played along like it cost him nothing. Like it came easy to him to be around Baekjin, breathe in his space.

He finished another bottle. Threw it on the ground to watch it shatter into pieces. Found comfort in the knowledge that he wasn't as broken as the bottle.

He passed out on the couch.

—oo—

Baekjin knew he should talk to Seongje, but his words felt too close to having his hands around his neck, choking the oxygen out of him. 'All you're capable of is being an orphan child'.

He wondered how Seongje found out about it. Had he followed him? He might have. Most likely had. But then again, he would've noticed. It made him mad just to think about it.

It wasn't the words itself that hurt. It was the intention behind them. The need to pick old wounds that hurt each other the most. Maybe he deserved them. Shouldn't have kept talking after the bullshit he'd already spewed. Wondering if Seongje cared if he died. Wondering if Seongje would do it himself. Doubting him. Doubting the devotion he never seemed to run out of.

It exhausted Baekjin to not pretend like he didn't want all of it, but how could he let himself just drown in everything Seongje had to offer? How could he believe Seongje won't just leave him one day like Humin did, like everyone does? Because at the end of the day, even his parents didn't care to stay.

There was no Seongje the next day or the day after. Both days, Baekjin had spent doing nothing.

On day three, he decided one of them had to say something. Should be him, probably. He kind of begin the whole thing.

There was no Seongje at any of the internet cafes he frequented. He'd even dragged his feet to the garage, went in through the front metal gates, as if he weren't afraid he'd run into one of the members of the gang. He wasn't afraid. It would just be embarrassing. 'Loser leader' was what he'd heard last he was being referred to as. They couldn't even come up with something creative. Bunch of scum bags.

When he entered, though, he was greeted with silence and Seongje's right-hand man, Han Daehyun.

He was crying while he looked at something on his phone.

Baekjin stood there for three minutes before Daehyun noticed his presence. He scrambled to his feet, putting his phone away, frowning.

"Na Baekjin." Daehyun sniffed, wiping his face with some tissues. "What are you doing here?" He asked, sobering up.

Baekjin blinked. "Where is Geum Seongje?"

"Boss? I don't know. Why?"

"Can you call him and ask?"

Daehyun eyed him suspiciously and then nodded, smiling. "Lovers' quarrel. I get it. It's tough out there man." He sighed.

What the—

Baekjin was running out of patience. "Can you call him or not?"

"Okay. Okay. Oh my god." Daehyun muttered, annoyed. He got his phone out and dialed for Seongje.

"Don't tell him I'm asking."

Daehyun rolled his eyes, turning away from him. "Where are you?" His tone showed no respect.

Baekjin had no idea why Seongje kept him as his right-hand man.

"Nah. Just asking. I was bored." Daehyun chuckled. "So fucking rude." He scoffed, hanging up. He circled back to Baekjin again.

"He's at the alley."

Baekjin nodded, turning to leave. Daehyun fell into step beside him. He glanced at him and then back at the road in front of them. "Stop following me."

"I'm not following you. We have the same destination." Daehyun explained, smiling.

Baekjin exhaled through his nose.

"He doesn't seem to be in a good mood today. Definitely a lovers' quarrel, huh?" Daehyun asked, nodding to himself. Baekjin stopped, turning to him.

"We're not lovers. And if you can't stop talking, then choose another path." Baekjin said calmly.

That shut Daehyun up. He surrendered, raising his eyebrows. 'Temper' he mouthed to himself.

Halfway there, Baekjin's mind supplied him with a useful thought. The others must be there as well. He didn't have time to deal with them. Didn't want to deal with them. "Are the boys at the alley?"

Daehyun responded, nodding, "Losers don't have anything better to do."

"Do you have the key to the back door?"

"Of course, I do. I'm the fucking right-hand man, dude." Daehyun shook his head in amusement.

"We're going through the back door." He said, turning a corner as they reached the alley.

Daehyun got out his key with another quip, "Sneaking in? Really?" He snorted.

Baekjin walked in without waiting for him. He looked for the boys. There weren't many. They were busy playing games.

He ducked behind the shelves and got to the office. When he walked in, he saw Seongje doing something on his phone with his working hand, a cigarette dangling between his lips that he occasionally took inhales from.

Baekjin hadn't prepared in his head how he was going to do this, so he stood there. Daehyun had followed him. He pushed past him. "Someone's here to talk to you." He sounded way too smug for a person getting in other people's business.

Seongje looked up from his phone, eyes landing on Daehyun before meeting Baekjin's. His cigarette fell down from his lips and onto his lap. He cursed, standing up.

He eyed Baekjin and then told Daehyun to leave them alone.

Baekjin walked inside, coming to a halt in front of the desk. Seongje had sat down again, his attention back on his phone. "Can we talk?" Baekjin questioned.

Seongje didn't look up, lighting another cigarette. He forced the stick between his right hand fingers, inhaled, took off his glasses, and tilted his head up at the ceiling.

He huffed out a laugh after a minute passed.

"Talk? You want to fucking talk?"

Baekjin wasn't sure if he was really asking, but he said, "How did you find out about—"

"The orphanage? I have my sources." He said, blowing a string of smoke up at the ceiling. His eyes dragged down to Baekjin, watching.

So he had indeed following him. Sources? He wasn't even trying to lie.

Baekjin felt the boiling anger tease the edges of skin, burning him hot. "You had no right to that information." He snapped, taking a step forward, face morphed into a scowl.

Seongje felt his jaw tighten. "No one knows a thing about you. What was I supposed to do?"

Baekjin stared at him in silence. There wasn't any point to fighting him. He'd been exposed. The most hidden part of him had been found out without his knowledge, and he couldn't do anything about it. Because it was fucking Seongje. And he'd grown to—

"You came here for what? Is this 'the talk'?" Seongje interuptted him, another cigarette making its way between his lips as he finished the previous one.

Baekjin hadn't planned how he was going to do his so-called apology. He didn't know what to say to make "everything okay" again. He'd never apologized before. Not to Humin. Not to anyone else.

He wasn't sure he even watned to anymore. Run, his brain was telling him. Run, becuase this wasn't turning out to be the way he wanted to. They weren't throwing fists like they were supposed to be—the familiar dance.

The longer the silence lasted between them, the more the tension grew. A bubble he could see rising around them and up to the ceiling.

Seongje kept his eyes on him anyway. Like he always did. It only made it harder to open his mouth.

"I was wrong," Was the best Baekjin managed to do. It took all of his being to turn his face away from the nagging feeling inside his chest telling him to stop talking.

Seongje waited for Baekjin to continue, when he didn't, he prompted, "For what?"

Of course, he was going to drag it out of Baekjin. It must be enjoyable to bring Baekjin down to his level and make him look in the eyes.

The scene flashed again in front of Baekjin's eyes. 'All you're capable of is being an orphan child.' His jaw tightened, hands curling into fists. He can't do this.

He stared back at Seongje.

Seongje waited a beat and then hummed, shaking his head with a mocking smile. "Right. You wanted to talk."

"I wasn't the only one in the wrong." He gritted out in defiance, glaring.

Seongje paused. Looked away.

A moment of another agonizing silence.

"I was also wrong." He admitted, meeting Baekjin's eyes again. No mirth. No snark.

It was probably the closet to an apology either of them could do right now. The hurt was still there, thrumming low beneath their skins in anticipation of soothing words.

They wouldn't come.

They could choose to ignore it, like they did everything else. That seemed to work most of the time, why wouldn't it now?

Seongje walked around the table and sat down on the couch in the corner. "We need a plan."

So they were ignoring it.

Baekjin sat down next to him, thighs grazing. Neither of them commented nor moved away. "When did he give you the deadline?"

Seongje inhaled, dusted off the ash in the ash tray in front of them. Baekjin hadn't noticed it until now. They didn't have one when he was the union leader. "End of next week."

"We can't go to the police, obviously." Baekjin stated.

Seongje nodded, thinking. If they went to the police, Mr. Choi would get out with his connections anyway. They don't have any evidence either that Mr. Choi threatened to kill them both. And there was the illegal business mess. They could very well be thrown under the bus and be subjected to all blame.

Well, at least they'd be safer in a fucking prison.

"Could fake your death." Seongje suggested, glancing at Baekjin.

Baekjin looked at him. "He'd know."

"We could have you hide at my mom's. She can be useful for once in her life." Seongje snorted.

"And then what? I'd hide there forever? He would find out eventually." Baekjin frowned, leaning forward on his knees. "We need a more solid plan."

"Oh yeah? What do you suggest, genius?" Seongje mocked, puffing out a smoke on Baekjin's side profile.

Baekjin didn't flinch, giving him an annoyed glare. "We have to involve your mom. You told me she's a councilwoman."

Seongje thought it over and shook his head. Before he could say anything, Baekjin spoke again.

"We don't have to tell her the whole truth about us being involved in the gang or anything. Just what's necessary. Tell her we were forced into the business. She has connections higher than Choi. Can easily take him down." Baekjin explained.

Seongje chuckled, shaking his head. "You think she'll just do that? She seemed really nice when you came over, but you don't know her. She won't do it if there isn't something in it for her."

"Like what?"

"You realize that she can know all about you just with a click of her fingers?" Seongje scoffed, glancing away. He gulped. It was a blink and you miss it moment, but Baekjin caught it all the same.

Baekjin sighed, running a hand over his face. "Then we come clean to her."

"She'll want full control of the narrative. Keeping up reputations and all." Seongje muttered bitterly, flinging the half done cigarette into the ash tray.

"As long as he gets taken down, we don't have anything to lose."

"She might make us bear some jail time. The whole "I didn't know, but I will not turn a blind eye even if it's my son and his friend" bullshit."

"There are too many assumptions. Can we just talk to her?" Baekjin asked.

Seongje rolled his eyes, standing up. "Yeah. Book an appointment first."

—oo—

Baekjin realized Seongje wasn't joking when he said they'd have to book an appointment. They'd been trying to reach her for the past two hours through her assistant to no avail. Seongje had called her on her personal number as well. She hadn't picked those up either.

They'd have to go to her apartment. The problem was: "I don't know when she comes home. She doesn't have a schedule she sticks to." Seongje said.

Right. They couldn't just show up there and wait like idiots. She might not come until midnight or even later. Besides, according to Seongje, she'd most likely think it was invasive to come without her verbal invitation.

So all there was to do, really, was to wait.

—oo—

While they waited, the subtle tension between them persisted, humming in the shadows, the stolen glances, accidental touches. Everything felt electric. As if at any moment, one of them might burst with the pent up hurt. Anger. The want.

Baekjin couldn't give in to his desires. Wouldn't. Knew they were the consequences of the lack of communication. Knew that the need to grab Seongje by his collar and put him in his place by kissing him was nothing but rooted in hatred for himself. For what they'd built between themselves. For everything that had happened and still wanting more. Needing more. The ugly rage, the roughness of Seongje's hands, the resentment.

The want just made his hatred that much more intense for himself. For Seongje.

It would go away eventually. After they'd taken Mr. Choi out of the equation. They could go back to what they were before Seongje was admitted in the hospital, so he wouldn't have to worry about not seeing him again. Wouldn't have to worry about his own life being in danger. Could live normally. And if Seongje left, then he'd learn to live alone. He'd done it all his life. Could do for the remaining years of it.

—oo—

Seongje told himself he'd stop contacting and coming to Baekjin's apartment after they were done securing their lives. Such a fucking waste of time.

They'd apologized to each other, but it just made him that much more sure Baekjin didn't care beyond just keeping him around like a pet. Someone who'd always be there even if he's treated like a dog. The variable needed to solve his misery.

He'd move on with his life, forget Baekjin like a fever dream. Move to Seoul so they weren't breathing in the same stale air of Daejeon. Get a job. The possibilities were endless.

—oo—

After six hours of moping around, watching TV, and eating take-out food, Seongje's mom called.

Seongje took the call, seeing Baekjin straighten up across him. Tense.

"I wanted to come over. When do you think you'll be home?" He waited for a response. "It's urgent."

He ignored the 'I told you's. Not right now, he didn't have the patience for another argument.

"Yes."

"Okay."

Seongje hung up. "She's coming home early." He said, taking out a cigarette.

"What time?" Baekjin asked.

"Five. Six, maybe."

"Which is it?'

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Seongje snapped.

Baekjin startled. Shut his mouth. Looked away. "I'll be there then." He said, scornfully.

So they were going separately. Fine by Seongje. He didn't want to be there with him anyway. He left. Not before ditching the cigarette awfully close to the ash tray while Baekjin watched him with a clenched jaw. It made a mess. Good.

—oo—

Baekjin had three hours on his hand until it was time to meet Seongje's mom. He'd gone over what they'd say. It would be a straightforward story: They got in some trouble with Mr. Choi, agreed to do his illegal business, and formed a gang.

When it struck four in the afternoon, he left his apartment and took a bus to Seongje's apartment. Seongje was there when he reached the place and rang the doorbell.

They barely talked aside from Baekjin telling him how he thought the way the story should be told in order to not paint themselves in a bad light. They were technically coming clean, just with some needed adjustments.

Ms. Geum came home as the clock reached 5:55. She was a little surprised to see them both already there. She came in, put down her keys and purse, and sat down opposite them.

Unlike the last time Baekjin had been here, there were minimum greetings and smiles from her. She seemed to be more in her role as a councilwoman right now than Seongje's mom. "What happened?" She asked, calmly.

Seongje was used to it by now. He nodded his head towards Baekjin. "Someone wants to kill us."

Ms. Geum recoiled, frowning.

Baekjin deadpanned. Of course he'd start with such a sentence. "We got involved with a gang two years ago. The owner has a hidden illegal business in a bowling alley. He put us in charge to take care of it. I got into a fight for it. I lost the fight. And now that I'm no longer useful to him, he wants to get rid of me. He's given the task to Seongje."

Ms. Geum frowned. She turned to Seongje. "You're still working for him?"

Seongje shrugged. "Had to. You told me to get a job." Baekjin's life was on the line.

Seongje's mom blinked. "And you thought being a gangster was what I meant by it." She sighed.

"Alright. Who's this boss you're working for?" She asked.

Seongje looked at Baekjin. "All we really know is that he works in the underworld as a mafia."

"And you think that's all he does? He has to have a cover up. Tell me his name."

Baekjin said, "Choi Chang-hee"

Ms. Geum nodded slowly. "What does he look like?"

Baekjin and Seongje shared a quiet look.

Seongje's mom sighed and stood up. "Here's what we're going to do: I need more information on what type of illegal business he's running and any other inside information that can serve as evidence."

Seongje frowned. "Isn't that what your connections are for?"

Baekjin got up. "We'll have it done." He said.

Ms. Geum glance at Seongje and then back at Baekjin, nodding. "Good. I trust you both won't get into more trouble." She said and retired to her room.

Seongje cursed behind Baekjin, getting out a cigarette. "Come to my apartment tomorrow morning." Baekjin told him and left.

—oo—

As unfair as it was, Seongje knocked on the door when he reached Baekjin's apartment. Waited. Knocked again when there wasn't a smattering of footsteps nearing the door. The door opened soon with Baekjin looking visibly annoyed.

Seongje flashed him a taunting grin. "May I come in?"

Baekjin clenched his jaw. So this was how it was going to be. Acting like a guest.

Petty.

It comforted Baekjin to think that that part of Seongje hadn't completely changed. Flinched when he realized why he was being that way.

It was still better than the horrendous silence he received yesterday.

He didn't reply, only turned away and walked inside. Seongje snorted, leaning his arm on the entryway. "I asked a question. I can't be so mannerless as to just barge in, right?" He threw back.

Baekjin sighed, stopping in his track. He turned his body around. "Come in." He said.

Seongje nodded. "Thank you." He mimicked, walking inside with his shoes on.

Baekjin glanced at the shoes, back at his face, found a gleam in his eyes. "Too far."

"Oh? You think this is far? God, you're terrible." Seongje padded by him, settling on the couch, propelling his feet on the coffee table as he got his phone out.

He wasn't sure how long he could resist the urge to throw Seongje out. He wasn't the only one that said hurtful things.

"Now, why don't you tell me how we're going to do this whole 'finding out the identity of your asshole boss'?"

"Not before you take the shoes off." Baekjin said, walking inside the kitchen. He got out a bottle of orange juice and came back. Seongje hadn't moved an inch.

He sat down. Waited.

Seongje motioned to his feet. "Why don't you take them off if you want me to do it so badly?"

Baekjin had enough. He got up, took Seongje by his arm, and dragged him to the front door.

Seongje let him, amused. He turned to him with an innocent expression. "And now what? Are we talking business here? Did you forget your manners?" He shook his head, clicking his tongue.

Baekjin could be just as petty. "I'll wait."

Seongje hummed, nodding. Baekjin waited five minutes. Those turned into ten.

Seongje groaned. Baekjin and his fucking mind games. Fine. Fucking fine.

He took his shoes off just as Baekjin spoke up.

"You have the burner phone, right?"

Seongje nodded.

"We have that. And you can access the bank account."

"Not anymore, I can't."

Baekjin frowned. "Why not?"

"Long story." Seongje shrugged, averting his eyes. He walked inside the apartment.

Baekjin stared at him for a second before following. "Do you still have access to the financial records?"

"There are the ones in the garage."

"You know that's not enough."

Seongje sighed, sitting down. He stayed silent while he thought over any other evidence they might be able to gather. "We can record the exchanges."

"What?"

"I can set up a meeting. Have one of the boys go. We can record the whole thing down to the selling part."

"But—"

"Mom will keep our names out of it. She can handle the rest of it. We just need to get our hands on this bit."

Baekjin nodded stiffly. "We have his number. We can give that to her as well."

Seongje bobbed his head and stood up . "I'll get to it."

"Are you…going to do it alone?"

Seongje chuckled. "You think I need your help?"

"Maybe." Baekjin met his gaze and then added when he saw Seongje's eyes harden the same way they had that night, "We could just do it together."

Seongje sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Let me get the transaction set up first before the real thing."

Baekjin stared at him for a second. Nodded.

—oo—

The stealing part took place under an apartment complex, similar to the one that was assigned to Humin a while ago. It was a twenty minute walk from Baekjin's apartment, and they'd arrived just five minutes short of when the motorcycle was schedule to be stolen.

They filed the whole thing on Seongje's phone while hiding behind a car, making sure to avoid any cameras. When that was done, they went back to Baekjin's apartment.

It would take two to three days until the motorcycle was repainted and then sold.

In the meantime, they'd decided to meet up with Seongje's mom again. This time, at her office.

The inside was, well, it was a big room. A South Korean flag hung just by the entrance when they walked in. There was a walnut wood executive desk at the far end of the room in the center behind the black couches. To their right were ceiling to floor windows that looked out at the city.

It smelled like capitalism in there.

Baekjin watched as Seongje touched everything he could gets hands on. He rolled his eyes, glancing away.

Seongje slid a finger across the dresser table set against the left wall and examined it, "Wow. They must be cleaning these pretty damn frequently. No dust."

"They are cleaned weekly." Ms. Geum stated, closing the door behind her.

Seongje looked back at her over his shoulder and clicked his tongue.

Baekjin turned to her and bowed slightly. "Ms. Geum."

"Have a seat." She said, motioning to the couches. "You too." She walked up to Seongje.

Seongje sighed dramatically, surrendering. He sat down on the opposite side of the couch Baekjin was sitting on.

Baekjin ignored it, focusing on Ms. Geum as she sat down on the other couch that was closer to Seongje.

Seongje took out the burner phone and the financial records. "All we have is this for right now."

Ms. Geum looked at the items.

"We'll have a recording of the transactions that happen."

"What transactions?"

Seongje glanced at Baekjin and then looked back at his mom. "The motorcycles are stolen, repainted, and then sold. By cash."

Ms. Geum sighed, shaking her head. "I didn't raise you to get yourself in illegal trouble like this."

Seongje opened his mouth. Ms. Geum talked again, "And Baekjin? Do your parents know about this? This is so dangerous. I thought you were the responsible one out of you two."

Baekjin glanced away. "I'm hoping this won't reach them." As if.

Ms. Geum eyed him for a second and turned back to Seongje. "If you two promise something, we can put this all behind us."

Seongje smiled with his teeth on display. "Of course there is a catch."

Baekjin glared at him. "Please, go on." He said to Seongje's mom.

She nodded towards the burned phone and the financial records. "You won't get involved in this again. And whatever comes with it, fighting and anything else. No more of it. If you can't agree to that, I'll have you two go through disciplinary action."

Seongje scoffed, leaning forward on his knees. "Is that supposed to be a threat, mother? You wouldn't be able to do it."

Baekjin intervened. "We'll stop."

Seongje turned his head to him with his mouth open. "Do you know what she's—"

"Do you want to go through disciplinary action?" Baekjin asked him calmly.

When he was met with Seongje's clenched jaw and the silent rage in his expression, Baekjin stood up, "Thank you for everything." He nodded his head down slightly.

Ms. Geum threw a worried glance at Seongje.

Seongje stormed out of there.

—oo—

Seongje wasn't anywhere to be found when Baekjin went out. Probably left. Whatever. He needed to get his tantrums under control if he wished go through this unscathed.

When he got home, though, his mind was still restless from what had just happened.

A shower didn't help. Neither did cooking. The food felt sour in his mouth. He threw everything away. Checked his phone. Contemplated on texting Seongje. No. He most likely needed space. They'd fight if Baekjin met him again. He didn't get why Seongje was so furious, however. Sure he knew Seongje's relationship with his mom wasn't the best from what he knew, but they needed her help right now. He couldn't let personal feelings get in the way. He needed to stop seeing her as his mom solely and instead see the power she held for her position. It was the only way they could get out of this mess. Why couldn't he understand?

The same thoughts repeated over and over again, making Baekjin restless. He moped the house twice, and it still didn't get him to calm down. He tried to play the violin. Too much patience was needed for that. He put it back in its case, stashing it away.

It was eleven in the morning. The sun was shining bright. He could go on a run. Get the pent-up energy out of him.

He got ready and went out. There was a park nearby he'd never gone to. Only a few people were there since it was a weekday. He ran ten miles, if his math was correct in estimating the area of the loops.

He stopped for a water break on a bench. Watched some ducks in a nearby pond swim around. Saw one of them go up to another one and poke at it with its beak and thought of Seongje.

Clearly, ten miles wasn't enough. So he ran ten more.

Baekjin was exhausted by the time he came home. His legs felt wobbly from all the exercise shocked into his system. He got in the shower and came out more tired.

He ate lunch from an instant ramen bowl and passed out on the couch.

In the evening, at around five, he was woken up with water thrown on his face. He cursed. "Fuck. What the—" He jerked awake, wiping a hand across his face.

Seongje intentionally poured the rest of the water onto the space Baekjin had been napping on. "There. I wet the couch. Cry about it." He said, walking to the kitchen to get himself a glass of juice.

He came back with the whole orange juice bottle.

Baekjin returned from the bathroom in clean clothes and a permanent scowl. Seongje laughed. "That's what you get for agreeing to a deal without talking to me."

Baekjin kicked his shin hard and sat away, taking the juice with him. Seongje hissed, gripping his calf. He got up and kicked Baekjin just as he was about to sit down. Baekjin slammed him against the wall just beside the TV, punching him. Since Seongje couldn't use his right hand right now, he kneed Baekjin in his groin. "Fuck." Baekjin groaned, stumbling back.

Seongje chuckled, wiping his bloody nose with his gauze wrapped hand. He sat down when he started feeling a little dizzy. He passed out just after he took one sip of the orange juice.

Baekjin stared at Seongje's unconscious body. Served him right.

—oo—

At night, Baekjin decided to make Dakgalbi(chicken ribs) with Japchae. It was a simple enough process to get it done in time for dinner.

Seongje was still asleep on the couch. He walked up to him, spritzed his face multiple times with the little water spray bottle he kept. And then, when that didn't wake Seongje up, he took off the cap and poured the rest of the water on him—Seongje had already wet the couch earlier, no point in saving it now. Seongje cursed, shielding his face. "You little—"

Baekjin hid a smirk as he went back to the kitchen. "Dinner's ready." He paused. Did he just say that out loud? He sighed.

Seongje grumbled, "You and your fucking spray bottle."

They sat down to eat after Seongje was forced to set the plates. For side dishes, they really only had kimchi. He'd brought out two bottles of beer as well to celebrate a little.

Seongje kept glaring at him while he ate his cold noodles. He didn't say anything about the food. No complaints or compliments.

Baekjin could see the rage trying to seep out from beneath his skin. He ignored it until they were done eating. Seongje refused to help wash the dishes, so he'd done them himself.

He came back to the living room and sat down in the armchair.

"What?" He finally asked, annoyed.

Seongje didn't look up from his phone.

Why had he came here if he was going to ignore Baekjin anyway? For the free food?

Baekjin stared at him. "Your mom would have gone through it if what you told me about her tracks." He explained.

He saw Seongje's grip tighten on his phone, brows twitching. His taps got more intense before a "you lost" sign appeared. He threw his phone to the side. "You think you know her better than me?" He questioned.

"No. But—"

"That's right. You don't know her like I do. It was one of her manipulative tricks that you agreed to without talking to me."

Baekjin sighed. "I didn't think there was anything to discuss. We both don't want to go through disciplinary action."

"She wouldn't have put us through it!" Seongje's voice raised slightly.

Baekjin realized just how seriously he was taking this. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because she's given me the same threat a thousand times before and never gone through with it. Why else the fuck?" He stood up, pacing back and forth in front of the TV.

When Baekjin didn't reply, he chuckled humorlessly, "You think I'm your fucking pet? Someone you can keep and order about as you please? Someone you can speak for? Because if that's all you've felt these past months, then honestly, fuck you." Seongje spat, coming to a stop.

Baekjin bit his tongue hard enough to draw blood, getting up as well. "So, all of a sudden, you have feelings? And how could I, an orphan child, ever dare to have a pet?" He asked bitterly

Seongje laughed. Hollow and cruel. "You know I didn't fucking mean it. You asked me if I would do kill you when all I've done is be your puppet. Being ignored when I'm not needed. Picked up when you're in the mood to entertain yourself and then thrown away again because you've decided you're wanting to wallow yourself to death. It's so tiring to play your shitty games."

Baekjin's answer was silence. Like it always was. Like it always had been.

But Seongje was done playing.

He walked to the other end of the room to snatch his jacket and leave.

Baekjin felt like a child all over again. When Humin left him. When he couldn't make him stay. He should know better than to try again. Should know that trying leads to failure in ways unbearable.

And he's never been good with failures.

"Stay." He whispered way too quietly. Broken. Defeated.

Seongje paused as his feet reached the entryway. He'd heard it all the same just as he'd heard it the day Baekjin was sick. Hushed. As if Baekjin were sharing a secret with him. Maybe he was.

And just as he'd done it that day, he asked, "Stay?"

Baekjin slowly turned around, made eye contact. Took a step forward.

An answer.

Seongje stayed.

—oo—

Two hours later, they were sitting on the couch, bodies leaning into each other as they watched a random horror movie.

They were both exhausted. He looked at Seongje. Eyes closed, posture loose, glasses loosely flung on the nightstand beside.

The AC vibrating and the TV on were the only noises in the room. Their shoulders were touching, so close Baekjin could smell Seongje's perfume. Lemony with sweet undertones. The scent was nothing like Seongje, yet all too familiar. Baekjin shifted just a bit closer to the smell subconsciously. Their knees brushed. He silently peered at Seongje's side profile, while Seongje inhaled from his cigarette, looking out the window to their right. Seongje slowly turned his head when he felt Baekjin's eyes on him. He licked his lips, saw Baekjin follow it with his eyes, smirked. "Want one?" He asked, bringing the cigarette to his lips.

He saw Baekjin swallow and then faintly nod his head. Seongje grinned and inhaled. He closed the space between his face and Baekjin's until only an inch of it was left and blew the smoke in Baekjin's slightly parted lips. Baekjin's breath hitched at the proximity. At the smoke. He glanced at Seongje's lips, the cigarette dangling from his mouth. He didn't move away. Seongje raised a brow. "More?"

Baekjin hummed lowly in his throat, feeling his heart beat pick up, mouth opening slightly wider. Seongje took another long drag, brought his mouth impossibly close to Baekjin's and blew out the smoke slowly, watching it disappear between Baekjin's lips. Something inside him shifted.

Their lips brushed. Tentative. Soft. When Seongje glanced up from Baekjin's lips, Baekjin was already looking at him. Baekjin leaned forward, lips touching the place just beside Seongje's lips. A test. A question. Seongje held his breath. Didn't move away. He turned his head and properly kissed Baekjin. Baekjin's hand found his hair, tugging. Seongje exhaled loudly through his nose, arm wrapping around Baekjin's waist.

The kiss was turned from tender to slightly rough. Still so unsure, but it conveyed what they hadn't been able to with words. Want. Desperation. Seongje pushed him back on to the couch as he got on Baekjin's lap, tugging at his bottom lip. It was granted with a moan from Baekjin.

Baekjin's arms wrapped around Seongje's waist, gripping. Trying to gain control over reality. He dug his nails in the fabric of Seongje's jacket, wanting to know if this was really happening. Seongje groaned in response, tightened his hold on Baekjin's hair. Tugged at it hard. Told him silently this was real.

Baekjin gasped into the kiss, tasted the cigarette Seongje had before the kiss. Seongje hummed, biting down on harder on Baekjin's lip, his tongue swiping out licking it, only to nip again. Baekjin retaliated, pulled on Seongje's lips, felt him make a sound deep from his throat.

He pulled back to breathe. Swallowed. Met Seongje's eyes, felt like running away. Seongje's eyes went back to Baekjin's lips.

His phone rang. Loud and disturbing.

They both looked at the phone on the coffee table. Seongje's mom. Seongje inhaled sharply, glanced back at Baekjin.

"It might be something important." Baekjin said, looking back at the phone. Seongje rolled his eyes.

He got off Baekjin's lap. Baekjin shifted uncomfortably, smoothing his hair back in its place.

Seongje picked up the call. Waited for his mom to speak. "And?"

"I don't care if he dies. He can live on the streets for all I care." A pause as Baekjin saw him scowl.

"No, I'm not going. Why don't you come and coddle him?" He asked, his back turned. "He's nothing but a worthless piece of shit."

And after a few more seconds of silence. "Fine." He hung up. He threw the phone on the coffee table, running a hand through his hair.

Baekjin could tell this was about his dad.

"Have to go." Seongje mumbled, getting his jacket. He shoved his phone in his pocket, took his glasses off the coffee table.

Baekjin didn't know if he was intruding, but he didn't want Seongje to go alone. "I'll come with." He stood up. Seongje brushed past him.

"I can handle him."

Baekjin put on his shoes as Seongje did the same. "I—" Seongje started saying, turning to him with a frown between his his eyebrows.

"Let's go." Baekjin said, walking out the door. Seongje stared at him and then got out as well.

The door shut behind them.

Chapter Text

When they got to where Seongje's house was located, his dad was thrown out, sitting by the door while he yelled profanities at Seongje's uncle. "What kind of brother does this? I raised you, bastard!"

Baekjin had never been to this part of the town. Slightly secluded from the city and way traditional than the modern apartments and houses. He was surprised at how small some of them were.

They both came to a halt in front of Seongje's dad. The old man rose to his feet when he saw Seongje. His eyes briefly glanced behind and saw Baekjin. "Why are you back? Haven't had enough of hogging all my money?!" He fumbled, raising his hand.

Seongje took a step back, laughing. "Mom told me to. You think I care if you fucking die, you asshole?"

His dad swayed side to side, jeering. "Tell her to go fuck herself! I don't need her help or her pathetic son's."

Seongje tilted his head. "You sure? You can barely stand on your feet." He mocked.

His dad launched forward, and Seongje swiftly moved out of his way, making him taste the ground. He sighed and turned to the house left to the one his dad had been sitting in front of.

"Come on." Seongje said to Baekjin, who was eyeing the man as if he were ready to fight him. "Not worth it." He added, reading Baekjin's mind.

Seongje knocked twice and then a woman came to the door. She sighed and called for her husband. "Seongje's here!"

A man walked out, a scar ran down his right brow, still in his fisherman clothes. "What do you want?" He asked in annoyance.

Seongje took out some cash from his wallet, took his uncle's hand in his, and put the money on it. "This month's rent." He told him, turning on his feet. Baekjin glanced at the man and then followed Seongje.

Seongje's dad was still on the floor, grunting and cursing. Seongje stepped over him. Baekjin did the same. "Fuck off with your new boyfriend, you faggot!"

Baekjin blinked, his jaw tightening.

Seongje had about enough.

Baekjin watched as Seongje turned around, walked back to his dad who had managed to get up. He lifted his leg to kick his dad square in the head.

The man passed out.

Seongje snorted, cracking a grin as he looked down at his dad. He glanced at his aunt and uncle who watched in equal shock. "Don't call me if you find him dead."

They walked in silence back to Baekjin's apartment. He tried to find Seongje's eyes. They kept avoiding his.

They reached the elevator, and Baekjin pressed the button to go up.

When he looked beside him, Seongje wasn't there.

He frowned. His eyes tracked to the gate and saw Seongje's back retreating.

The elevator dinged behind him.

—oo—

It was two am at night, and Baekjin couldn't sleep. Toss and turn. Repeat. He'd been doing it for the last two hours. Had even gotten up and done push ups to tire himself. It just backfired.

The kiss flashed again in front of his eyes. Seongje's lips. The mole beside his right eye. The way his body felt against Baekjin's own. Hot and overwhelming.

Heat pulled in his stomach at the memory. His hand trailed down his stomach until it reached his boxers.

No. This was wrong.

They'd just kissed. And from what he could gather, it was a heat of the moment kind of thing. For both him and Seongje. They'd forget about it tomorrow. Pretend it didn't happen. Pretend the want wasn't there. Everything would go back to the way it was.

But despite thinking that, his erection didn't go away. If anything, it just persisted on.

He got up and took a cold shower. That helped. A little.

It was four am by the time he did manage to sleep.

The next morning, hewas woken up by the sunlight shining through the windows and onto his face. He turned his body to it and blindly shot his hand out to search for his phone.

The screen turned on and read 11 am. He was about to turn off the device when he saw an unread message sent by Seongje.

—Come to the alley at 3

And as if he needed to make it clear for what, he added:

—For the transaction

Baekjin stared at the message, scrolled up to see if there were any more that he might have looked over. There weren't. He couldn't help feeling a twinge of disappointment settle in his stomach.

He didn't respond to the message and instead got ready. The shower was brief, yet enough to arouse the kissing memories once again. He scrubbed his skin harder to get rid of the feeling of Seongje's body against his.

When he was done with the shower, he made his way to the kitchen. Ate buttered toast and a banana. Left for a run. Came back. Had instant ramen for lunch again. Thought about Seongje.

No.

He needed to stop.

It was only a kiss. Why was he obsessively thinking about it?

Distraction. He needed one desperately. He went to his room, got the violin out, played a song. Remembered the time he had played it for Seongje.

A shiver went down his spine.

He put the instrument back in the case and screamed into his pillow.

—oo—

Seongje had spent the night in the office at the alley. Had burned through more cigarettes than he could count all night. Forced his right hand to coordinate with his left and play games. The pain was good. Shut his mind off for a few agonizing minutes.

Nothing really helped, though, of course.

They'd kissed. So what now? Were they going to date? No, too soon. He could tell by the look on Baekjin's face last night. He didn't know what Baekjin wanted. Was afraid to ask. Afraid to even see his face after last night. But he'd asked Seongje to stay. He had never done that before. That had to account for something. For once, he'd spoken out on what he wanted.

Even if Baekjin wasn't sure what he wanted, Seongje knew that he wanted more. Wanted to feel Baekjin's lips against his again. His skin under his lips. Mark it with his teeth. Remind him again and again of Seongje's presence. Make him forget about Humin.

All those things would only be possible if Baekjin wanted the same.

He'd seen the look in Baekjin's eyes when his dad called Seongje a faggot. A glimpse of panic mixed with shock.

It confused Seongje. He needed answers.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard as he pondered over what to say. Words didn't come easy to him. Knew it was the same for Baekjin. Closed his phone. Tossed it away. Went to sleep when the sun was rising outside.

He was woken up at 10 by someone shaking his shoulder violently. He cursed, sitting up.

Daehyun had moved five feet away. "Not in the mood to fight man. It's 10. Thought you should wake up." He said and walked away.

"Fucking—" Seongje tried to say, putting on his glasses.

Daehyun was already gone.

He slumped back against the couch. Clicked his phone on. No new messages other than the one from Daehyun telling a new transaction was set up for 3 in the afternoon.

He sighed and sat up. His thumb pressed on Baekjin's profile. He should probably tell him about the transaction. He typed out a, "come to the alley at 3". Sat there for a second staring at the message. Added "for the transaction" to make it clear it wasn't to fight. Baekjin tended to get wrong ideas.

Since he didn't want to go back to Baekjin's apartment, he decided to make a trip to his mom's. His dad was probably still home, and Seongje didn't want to see that man for a another second.

He showered. Ate the leftovers that were in the fridge—she can take-out for tonight—and went back to the alley.

On his way, he'd gotten a call from Mr. Kim. He was in the middle of finishing a game and didn't pick up.

Thankfully, 3 pm arrived soon enough.

—oo—

Baekjin didn't know what to expect when he would meet Seongje. If he was going to joke about it as usual or if he was going to intiate another kiss. He shook his head.

For right now, they could focus on the matter at hand.

When he got there, Seongje was seated on the couch, smoking a cigarette. Baekjin looked at his watch. 2:45. "Let's go." He said, willing his voice to not sound so bothered.

Seongje looked up. Made eye contact with Baekjin.

Baekjin could identify that glint anywhere. He felt his knees weaken. He turned away to walk out. He heard Seongje chuckle behind him.

The exchange wasn't long. It was of course in the darkness of the parking garage. They had behind a wall as they recorded the whole thing. It was done in less than two minutes.

As they made their way back to the alley, Seongje threw Baekjin a glance, taking out a cigarette. Last night played out in his brain. He tucked it away. "Are you sure we're going through with this?"

"Do you want to die?" Baekjin asked, gazing straight forward. Seongje would have kicked the back of his knees if he wasn't so busy staring at his side profile.

He huffed, rolling his eyes. "Might be better than not fighting again."

Baekjin's gaze tore away from the road ahead and to him. "No."

"No? Did you just say 'no'?" Seongje cackled. When Baekjin didn't reply, he snorted, brushing their shoulders, "What do you mean 'no'?"

Baekjin looked at him as if irritated Seongje couldn't just read his mind, "No." He repeated, glancing away. He doesn't want to die. Doesn't want Seongje to die.

Seongje smirked, nudging him. "You don't wanna die?"

Baekjin gulped, didn't move away.

"Aww, Na Baekjin doesn't want to die." Seongje cooed, putting a hand to his heart.

Baekjin elbowed him. It just made Seongje more amused. Baekjin asked, "Are we going to your mom's?"

"No." Seongje mimicked him.

Baekjin glared at him.

Seongje chuckled. "I can just send her the videos. There isn't anything else to show her." He shrugged.

Baekjin thought about it. "He knows where I live."

"And? We can handle those bastards if they come to murder us."

Seongje was saying that as if that was an easy task. Two against who knows how many and their weapons. "Still." He insisted.

Seongje sighed. "Going to my mom's won't stop them."

"I know. But…he wouldn't take the danger of invading a councilwoman's apartment. Risk of exposure." Baekjin remarked, meeting Seongje's eyes.

"I like the way your brain works." Seongje blurted out without thinking and then grinned casually when he saw Baekjin's ears redden.

"Well, one of our brains has to." He replied. It didn't hold as much snark as he was hoping.

Seongje nudged him again. He nudged back, staring ahead.

—oo—

Seongje led him through the hallway and opened the door with his spare key. They took their shoes off by the doorway.

Baekjin's stomach growled just as they walked inside.

Seongje smirked. "Hungry from all the hard work you've done today?"

Baekjin rolled his eyes.

"She probably has some snacks. Let me look." Seongje said, strolling into the kitchen.

Baekjin ignored the fluttering in his stomach and went to the bathroom.

They weren't in public anymore. Alone once again. Just the two of them until Seongje's mom comes home. She probably won't for some time. It was only five pm in the evening. But they should still keep distance.

When he walked back out, Seongje was already munching from a bowl of chips. "She has terrible taste in snacks." He complained, licking his fingers.

Baekjin watched them disappear in his mouth and then out. He inhaled sharply and sat down on the couch Seongje was on, making sure to put a reasonable distance between them. A strange concept, he found. Because for the last few weeks, he could remember no space being between their bodies when they sat down.

Seongje threw a bag of chips in his lap, not looking away from the TV. He noticed the space between them. Didn't comment.

There was a subtle tension no matter if they chose to acknowledge it or not. It followed them everywhere they went. They could only ignore it for so long.

"I'm going to my room." Seongje said, after he had finished eating.

Baekjin nodded, keeping his eyes on the screen. Good. They don't have be in the same room. Suffocating. Not close enough.

Baekjin sat there for an hour, got on his phone. Got off. Tried to pay attention to what was going on on the TV. Grew restless.

It was only curiosity, he told himself, as he walked to the hallway on the left that led to Seongje's room at the end of it. The door was closed, but not locked. He pushed the handle down. Wondered if he should really go inside and risk the possibility of them being alone again. He tried to tell his brain no, but his hand was already propelling the door open.

Seongje was asleep. He sighed in relief. The door clicked shut behind him quietly. He swallowed, looked around the room. Surprisingly enough, there wasn't as much mess as Baekjin had expected. A TV stood on a table parallel to the door. On the left was Seongje's bed. King size. Red sheets, black blanket. The walls were mostly bare other than the few pictures of boxers. A game poster. A…hello kitty print peeking from behind one of the posters.

He raised his brows.

Seeing it in Seongje's room made him smirk a bit.

His eyes fell on Seongje as he shifted under the covers on to his stomach. The smirk fell off of Baekjin's face. He took cautious steps forward and stopped until his knees were an inch away from the bed. He looked down at Seongje's sleeping form. So peaceful unlike the chaotic presence when he was awake. Causing mayhem. A wild beast uncontainable.

A strand of hair had fallen down on his right eye. His hair had grown longer. Made him appear softer. Baekjin found it wasn't a bad look on him.

He shouldn't linger. Should leave now that he'd given in his curiosity. But it wouldn't hurt to brush that strand of hair away from Seongje's eye. It was physically bothering Baekjin anyway. His fingers itched to reach out and push it away.

He decided to test something out. His finger stretched out and poked Seongje's shoulder to check he wasn't faking to be asleep. He poked again to be sure. Nothing. Seongje's back raised up and down steadily with breaths.

Seongje was sleeping. He wouldn't have to know. He'd do it quickly and then leave.

Before he could second guess himself, he brushed the hair away from Seongje's face and turned around to exit the room.

Baekjin heard a sigh. Shuffling. He tensed immediately.

"Maybe avoid the whole poking routine before doing that, mhmm?" Seongje said, rolling on to his back as he looked at the back of Baekjin's head.

Baekjin's breath hitched inevitably. "It was bothering me." He said, steadily.

"Everything bothers you." Seongje threw back.

Baekjin never learned how to not let Seongje get under his skin or maybe, Seongje just never learned when to stop talking. He circled back to face the bed again. "Have you met yourself?" Baekjin glared at him. The only valid response.

Seongje grinned as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

Annoyingly attractive. No. Get a grip on yourself, Baekjin thought.

"I don't go around fixing sleeping people's hair like a weirdo." Seongje replied, standing up.

Baekjin should leave. Shouldn't indulge him. He tried to, before Seongje's arm shot out to bring him back by wrapping it around Baekjin's waist. "You could've woken me up. Would've let you do it even if I wasn't sleeping." Seongje whispered.

Baekjin's heart hammered in his throat, his gaze flickering to Seongje's lips and then his eyes. "Noted." He mumbled.

Seongje stared at Baekjin's lips. Watched them move as he said the words. "Good." He said, taking his arm off of Baekjin's waist.

They heard footsteps moving around outside Seongje's room. Baekjin quickly stepped back. Seongje chuckled as if this was all very entertaining.

Seongje's mom knocked on the door before coming in. "Hi. Come on out." She said, glancing between them. Baekjin followed her wordlessly.

"I watched the video. It doesn't give me much to work with, but the lawyer will handle everything. Should be done in a day or two."

"What do you mean?" Seongje asked, sitting down on the couch and grabbing the long abandoned snack.

"The gangster. He'll be caught. You two will need to make a statement to the police about how he forced you to work for him and everything." She said from her bedroom as she took off her jewelry. "Oh, right, I just remembered. That's tomorrow." She added, coming out and looking between Baekjin and Seongje.

Seongje made eye contact with Baekjin. Baekjin spoke up, "You said we wouldn't have to get involved."

Ms. Geum sighed. "I know. But they need solid basis to go off of. Besides, I've told them to make the statements anonymous, so you don't have to worry about him knowing." She flickered her hand in a gesture.

Baekjin nodded. "Thank you." His eyes turned to Seongje, silently asking him to do the same.

Seongje seemed busy eating his fucking snack.

"From both of us." He added pointedly.

Seongje's eyebrows lifted, finally meeting Baekjin's gaze. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Thank you." He said, dryly, glancing at his mom.

Ms. Geum chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't you ever let go of Baekjin." She told Seongje as she walked back in her room. "He can keep you in line like I can't."

Seongje scoffed, glancing at Baekjin who stood there with a satisfied half smirk. He threw a pillow at him.

Baekjin side stepped it easily and then sat down.

—oo—

Once dinner time rolled around, Ms. Geum made them get to work. Seongje tried to get out of it, but his mom didn't let him.

Half an hour later, they were both stuck cutting vegetables and mixing different kinds of ingredients in the kitchen while Ms. Geum instructed them. "Seongje, that's not salt, that's sugar. Read the labels, for the nth time."

Seongje rolled his eyes, turned away from her, and nudged Baekjin who was focusing intensely on cutting the cheese into slices. "I knew it was salt."

"I heard that." Ms. Geum said.

Baekjin snorted.

When they were done cooking two hours later, they finally sat down to eat. Baekjin found he liked the way Ms. Geum had everything organized into categories and different containers. It was shockingly distinctive from how Seongje was. He loved being messy.

As they ate, Ms. Geum said, "Who taught you how to cook such delicious food, Baekjin-ah?" She cut into her salmon.

Baekjin glanced up at her. Paused. Well, he didn't exactly have someone that showed him how to cook. "I taught myself."

Seongje's mom genuinely appeared surprise. "Oh, how? I mean, I know you kids have internet to look up recipes on. But it must've been very hard to do it without someone teaching you."

Seongje huffed a chuckle, sipping his soup.

Baekjin ignored him and nodded. "It was. It took a lot of trial and error."

Ms. Geum mirrored his nod, humming. "I tried to teach Seongje how to cook when he was in middle school. Oh, you want to hear a funny story? Once—"

"No." Seongje gave her a look. Baekjin glanced at him. He could distinctly decipher it as Seongje wanting to hit her. A sick kind of laugh bubbled in his throat.

He swallowed it down and looked back back at Seongje's mom. "Yes." He replied.

Ms. Geum chuckled, eyeing Seongje. "Alright, so once, I had to work overtime, and I told Seongje to make something for dinner. He made ramen. But that's not the funny part. It's the fact that he burnt the noodles because he was busy gaming."

Seongje deadpanned, chewing his food, grip tightening on his chopsticks so hard his knuckles turned white.

Baekjin raised a brow, "Why did you think it was a good idea to leave food alone on the stove?" He turned to Seongje.

Seongje grinned, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Why don't I tell you a funny story about my mom?" He didn't wait for a response and continued, "She worked overtime because she couldn't stand to come home to her husband who was drunk all the fucking time and her son who couldn't stop crying."

The mood shifted from playful to tense in an instant, the silence settled over them like a stormy cloud. The smile fell off of Ms. Geum's face and a hurt expression took place. So much resemblance between the son and the mother.

Seongje stared at her, grinning with vicious glee. "Isn't that funny, mom? Or do you want me to tell Baekjin more funny stories about your adventures?"

Ms. Geum fumed. "Seongje!"

Seongje's chair screeched against the tiles on the floor as he went to his room.

Baekjin glanced at Seongje's mom, sensing her embarrassment. He didn't have any idea what to do. He'd never been in such a situation. Besides, he was on Seongje's side.

Seongje came back with a backpack. "Let's go." He said, rushing to the door.

Baekjin contemplated and then stood up, following Seongje out.

Ms. Geum sat there for a long second before she let the anger take over, hands wiping everything off of the table as she cursed in frustration.

—oo—

The elevator humming as it advanced down was the only sound between Seongje and Baekjin.

He had the same look on his face as he had the night before when they went to his dad's house. Silent rage masked by indifference. Baekjin wanted to prod at it until it fully showed itself to him. He didn't.

"We should get take-out. I'm starving." Seongje said, glancing at him.

Baekjin raised a brow. Nodded. They had indeed just begin eating when the evening went off the rails.

They walked out of the elevator and made their way outside the building. As they passed a street and turned a corner onto a quiet, almost empty road, they were greeted with Mr. Choi's men.

Baekjin stiffened, halted in front of Seongje.

"Thought you could run away, huh?" One of them spat on the ground. "Fucking idiots."

Seongje pushed Baekjin aside, a low laugh already spilling out of his lips in amusement. "Since when did you grow the fucking guts to show up without your minions?"

The two men didn't waste time in starting the fight. Since there were two, one targeted Seongje and the other Baekjin. Baekjin side stepped the unmistakable first punch and turned around to kick the man to the ground.

Seongje handled the other one with the same efficiency. He took off his backpack and slammed it on the man's head. The man managed to land a punch to his stomach, but he quickly recovered from it and thrust his right fist into the man's head. He cursed loudly, his hand coming alive with pain. Fuck.

Baekjin struggled as the man got a grip on his neck and slammed him into the wall behind him. He kneed him with some struggle and when the man didn't budge, headbutted him hard. That made him fall back on the ground, and Baekjin took the opportunity to get on top of him and punch him.

Seongje came flying on to his side and they both toppled on to the ground on their backs. One of them took out a pocket knife. The one still laying got up with difficulty, puffing out heavy breaths.

Seongje and Baekjin shared a look. Nodded. They got up as well. Because Seongje's right hand was still slightly immobile, Baekjin took on the one with the pocket knife. He landed a rounabout kick to the man's chin, prying the weapon away from his hand.

Seongje took on the one that was struggling to stay concious. He hit the man's face with his elbow and then got behind him and wrapped his arm around his neck, choking him. The guy banged his head back on to Seongje's face, and Seongje cursed loudly, tightening his grip around the man's neck as his head started feeling dizzy. He let go of him and kicked him to the ground, holding his head in his hand.

Baekjin had successfully knocked the one with the pocke knife out, and he came over to where Seongje was. The man wrapped his hands around Seongje's calf and brought him down with him. Baekjin went up to him, kneeled, and stabbed the back of the guy's thigh. And then again. The man screamed out in pain.

He stood up and adjusted his clothes. "Let's go." He said, offering a hand to Seongje. Seongje took it, stood up, and retrieved his backpack that had landed far. They cautiously made their way home after making sure there weren't any more of Mr. Choi's men around.

Chapter Text

Seongje groaned once they were inside Baekjin's apartment, his hand throbbing with pain. He was sure he must've broke his fingers. Baekjin glanced at him as he took his shoes off. "I'll get the first-aid kit. Don't move it." He said and left to go to the bathroom.

When Baekjin looked in the bathroom mirror, he found a small bruise on the right side of his forehead. His knees wobbled slightly and his left shoulder hurt to move. He sighed, walking out with the kit.

Seongje was taking the gauze off his right hand as he sat on the couch. Baekjin sat down beside him. Put the kit on the coffee table. "Is it bleeding?" He asked.

Seongje hummed, turning to him with the hand. It dripped red drops on the floor as he raised it in front of Baekjin. Baekjin took Seongje's wrist in his hand and directed it on to the coffee table. "Hold it there." He said and got up to get a clean towel.

Seongje chuckled. "Can't have the floor getting dirty, mhmm?"

Baekjin took Seongj'es hand in his and applied firm pressure to the knuckles. That shut Seongje up. He watched Baekjin focus intently on his hand.

When Baekjin was sure the bleeding had stopped, he stood up. "Hold the cloth there and come with me."

Seongje did.

Baekjin turned on luke-warm water and motioned to the sink. "Wash it."

"Aww, aren't you gonna help an injured little me?" Seongje sighed, doing as told.

Baekjin blinked.

Seongje hissed once the water hit the wound, pulling it away. Baekjin held his wrist gently, guiding it back under the water. "Fuck." Seongje cursed.

"Have to clean it thoroughly." Baekjin explained, as if hoping it would help ease Seongje's pain.

Seongje frowned instead, pulling his hand away. He walked back to the couch with his hand wrapped in the piece of cloth.

Baekjin settled next to him. He watched as Seongje tried to clean the wound himself. "Let me."

Seongje attempted to do it himself anyway. He couldn't get the ointment bottle to open.

Baekjin exhaled beside him. "Let me." He repeated more sternly.

"Fuck this." Seongje stood up, his face morphed into an angry scowl. "She thinks she can just pretend to be all nice and shit around you and expect me to forget everything like it never happened. Where the fuck was her so called motherly love when I needed it? Blaming me for acting out and getting into fights like she gets to judge me when it was her fault for the way I've turned out to be such a sorry of an excuse son. And her fucking deadbeat husband that she never cared about!" He ranted, his shoulders tensing as if he were about to fight.

Baekjin watched him as he paced back and forth in laid bare rage. He took it all in. Processed it. Felt the raw pain behind the words. Didn't offer comforting words because he knew that's not what Seongje needed or wanted even if he was hurting. Knew it would make the matters worse if they talked about it. Knew Seongje hated vulnerability as much as Baekjin did.

He stood up to drag Seongje back to the couch and patch his blood knuckles. His rage hadn't died down. He snatched his arm away from Baekjin's grip and punched the wall with his bloodstained hand. Went to do it again only to be stopped by Baekjin's hand covering his fist. "Move." Seongje said, turning his aggrieved eyes to Baekjin.

"Stop." Baekjin insisted as Seongje shoved him away.

He knew Seongje didn't want Baekjin to see him this way. Full of raw anger. He decided gentle wasn't going to do it. Never would, because it was Seongje. He roughly grabbed Seongje and pushed him on to the couch. He perched down beside him, grasped his hand, and wiped it with the wet cloth. He put the ointment on his knuckles and then wrapped it in new gauze all the while Seongje glared at him.

Seongje pulled his hand back into his lap when Baekjin was done. Baekjin left to put the kit away. He came back with a small band-aid on his forehead.

Seongje glanced at him, trying to ignore the twinge of guilt swirling in his stomach. He opened his mouth to ask if Baekjin was injured elsewhere.

But before he could, he saw Baekjin grab a bottle of water and go to his bedroom. He slumped back against the couch, tugging on his hair in frustration.

—xx—

Seongje stared at his gauze wrapped hand. It had been an hour. Baekjin hadn't came out. He hadn't bothered to check on him.

It felt like everything was falling apart in his life. Not that it wasn't already that way for as long as he could remember. Just worse, because now someone he cared for was involved, and he was feeling like he'd fucked it up. That came easy to him. He let out a snort.

His eyes moved to the clock on the wall above the TV. He watched as the seconds passed. Decided the melancholic vibes weren't going to do it and got up.

If this was any other day, he wouldn't have bothered knocking. But he felt like he should this time. So he did.

No response came. He opened the door. Stuck his head inside. Found Baekjin reading. He sighed, stepping in. He sat down at the end of the bed.

Baekjin didn't look up. Didn't give any indication of acknowledgment.

Seongje stared at him. Gulped. "I'll repaint the wall." He offered. As an apology.

Baekjin glanced up at him and then down. Didn't say anything.

"Come on, you can't be that mad."

"I'm not mad. Just confused." Baekjin said, flipping a page.

Still not looking at him.

Seongje snatched the book away. "About what?" He questioned while he flipped the book over and read the back of it.

Baekjin's eyes finally met his. He nodded to the right. The living room.

Seongje shrugged. Grinned crookedly. Like he always did. "Couldn't handle the outburst, mhmm?"

Baekjin's eyebrows bunched together just the slightest. He sighed. Shifted when Seongje demanded to get under the covers beside him. Thighs pressed together.

Seongje tossed the book back to Baekjin. "Didn't know you read. But it's not surprising. Nerd."

"Erudite."

"What?" Seongje turned his face to him. Baekjin glanced at him sideways, opening the book again.

"It's a fancier way of saying 'nerd'."

Seongje snorted. "The irony."

"Do you think Choi's men are gonna come here? I've had enough of fighting them. Fuck." He cursed, taking a cigarette out of the pack Baekjin had laying around on his nightstand. The lighter was empty. He sighed, getting up.

He came back from the kitchen after a moment, the cigarette smoke filling Baekjin's room. He settled next to Baekjin again.

"Perhaps." Baekjin replied.

Seongje hummed, taking a drag as he looked at Baekjin's profile.

"They know where my mom lives." Seongje said.

Baekjin nodded. "They were waiting for us to come out."

Seongje took one of Baekjin's hand holding the book and made it act as ash tray. Baekjin glanced at it. Sighed. "There is one on the nightstand. Did you break your glasses?" He turned his head to look at Seongje as if to check.

Seongje laughed.

"Your hand is a prettier ash tray."

Baekjin stared at him. The cigarette between his lips. Remembered the kiss. Moved his gaze back to the book. He let Seongje use his hand as his personal ash tray.

When Seongje was done with the cigarette, he tossed it in the dust bin and took Baekjin's hand in his. He warmth spread inside him at the proximity. His thumb circled the ash around on Baekjin's palm.

Baekjin held his breath as Seongje pressed his thumb down in the center. He watched as Seongje's hand retrieved the real ash tray from the nightstand and deposited the ash from Baekjin's palm into it. Watched him wet a few tissue papers and wipe Baekjin's hand. And if that wasn't enough, he brought it to his mouth. Cleaned the skin with kitten licks while keeping eye contact. The fact that he wasn't wearing his glasses made the eye contact all the more hotter. Bakejin didn't move. Felt his breath catch in his throat and heat pull in his stomach. Swallowed audibly.

"Kiss me." Seongje commanded, dropping his hand.

Baekjin inhaled. Moved his mouth. Pulled back when Seongje leaned in to close their lips. A tease. A test. Seongje huffed out a breathy laugh. "Fucking tease."

Baekjin tugged at his jacket to close the distance and kissed him. It was rough. Furious. Wanting. Desperate. This was more them than the tender, uncertain touching of their lips that night.

Seongje bit Baekjin's bottom lip, nipping it afterwards. Baekjin made a noise deep from his chest, pushing Seongje back against the wall as he got in his lap. Seongje's hands fit against his hips, squeezing. Baekjin nibbled on Seongje's lip. It was a little inexperienced unlike Seongje but the need for him was there anyway. Seongje hummed into the kiss, drawing Baekjin closer in his lap.

Baekjin felt the stiffness in his pants friction against Seongje's, and he gasped, pulling back from the kiss. Seongje dived into another kiss, swallowing his gasp. His tongue entered Baekjin's mouth. Hot and consuming. Baekjin fought against it. Let their tongues intertwine in a battle before he pushed his inside Seongje's. Seongje let him believe he won for a second and then moved his tongue into Baekjin's mouth just as he squeezed his hips. Baekjin moaned, tugging at his hair harshly in response. He rolled his hips down in experiment. "Fuck," Seongje said, biting down on his lip.

Baekjin was breathless. Consumed with desire. They shouldn't be doing this. It felt good. That was dangerous territory to venture into. They should stop. Baekjin should move off his lap. But the way Seongje was looking at him with such fervor and fascination made him want more. To continue to be the subject of Seongje's such intense attention as if he were a piece of art.

He stared back at Seongje with hooded eyes. Seongje rolled his hips up. Baekjin swallowed a sound. Didn't let Seongje feel the satisfaction of getting to him. Moved his hips down again. Seongje's eyes flared up with excitement, getting more turned on as he bit down a moan of his own. He held Baekjin in place, thrusted up. Watched with delight as Baekjin's throat bobbed up and down in a little hum. Baekjin tugged harder at his hair and pulled him into a rough kiss. Too much teeth. Not enough tongue. He bit down on Seongje's lip hard enough to taste metal. Shifted forward and then back. Felt their cocks grind against each other. Seongje groaned deeply, guiding Baekjin's hips to keep moving.

Baekjin hummed, pulling back. His eyes held lust. Held the elation of making Seongje give in first. Seongje chuckled, "Think you won, mhmm?" He asked, squeezing Baekjin's ass.

Baekjin inhaled sharply. He held eye contact as he yanked at Seongje's hair to make him look up. "I know so."

Seongje let out a shameless moan that went straight to Baekjin's cock. Baekjin grunted. Seongje grinned, leaning forward and taking Baekjin's lip between his teeth. It turned into another kiss. When they pulled back, Baekjin felt Seongje's hand travel from his inner thigh to his cock, palming him. Baekjin threw his head back, let out a choked croack. Felt Seongje's lips against his neck as he whispered, "Not until one of us makes the other come." He said, biting down hard on the skin beneath his ear.

Baekjin let him nip for a moment before wrapping his hand around Seongje's neck and holding him against the wall. His words died down in his mouth when he saw the look in Seongje's eyes. As if he were drunk on just the sight of Baekjin.

"What? Scared?" Seongje asked, tilting his head in the cocky way he often did. When he knew he was getting under Baekjin's skin.

"You wish." Baekjin replied, feeling bold. His eyes looked down at his hand that trailed down Seongje's torso until it reached the stiff erection.

Seongje watched him with the same intrigue. Saw the hesitation in Baekjin's eyes. The clear inexperience. "Let me make you come first."

Baekjin glared at him stubbornly. "And let you win?" He scoffed, staring at Seongje's torso with a serious expression as if he were trying to solve a math problem.

Adorable.

Seongje squeezed his hips, grinning. "No. I just want to hear you come for me." It wasn't the whole truth, but Baekjin wouldn't ever back down from a challenge even if he didn't have any way of winning.

Baekjin ignored the way that made his cock throb and glanced up from Seongje's pants.

"Do it yourself." Seongje offered, lifting his hips.

Baekjin didn't.

Instead he sat down beside Seongje, made eye contact with him, and glanced down at his lap. "Oh taking control? Want me to call you daddy, too?" Seongje asked, snickering as he got on Baekjin's lap.

Baekjin sucked a brutal kiss to shut Seongje up, hands cupping Seongje's ass he grinded upwards. Seongje moaned into the kiss, gripping the back of Baekjin's neck as he moved his ass back and forth. Seongje's hand wrapped around Baekjin's and directed it to the buttons of his pants, pulling back from the kiss to look at him. "Want them off?" He asked. Saw Baekjin glance down at them and nod.

Seongje smiled with his teeth. He unbuttoned his pants, pulled them off and threw them on the floor. His boxers had a wet spot in the middle. He straddled Baekjin again. Took his hand and held it against his cock as he kissed him again. Baekjin groaned in the kiss, feeling the hardness of Seongje's cock under his hand. Overwhelmingly soaked. His thumb brushed just the slightest bit against the fabric and felt Seongje squirt more come out. He slowly moved his hand up, brushing his thumb across the waistband of the boxers. He tilted his head to the side as Seongje kissed down his neck, pausing to suck at a particular spot.

He swallowed. Hesitated. Wondered if he should be doing this. He wanted it, but was it right for them to give in to their desires? What if Humin knew—No, why would he care? Doesn't need to care after everything Baekjin's done. And no one could blame him. His hand balled into a fist against Seongje's stomach.

Seongje halted. Felt the hesitation from Baekjin. Pulled back from his neck. Raised a brow. Baekjin was looking down at his hand. Seongje's gaze followed his. Frowned. Tried to ignore it as he moved to get off of Baekjin's lap. "Thought you wanted this." Seongje let out a harsh chuckle, shaking his head.

Baekjin blinked, tightening his grip on Seongje's waist to bring him back. "I do." He replied quickly.

Seongje gave him a strained grin. "Then act like it."

Baekjin frowned, pulling Seongje until he could feel the same friction between them again. "I've never done this before."

"Then let me do it to you first. Or is that too humbling for you?"

Baekjin glared at him, dug his fingers in until Seongje hissed. Kissed him. Seongje kissed him back, holding on to Baekjin's jaw. Bit Baekjin's lip until it drew blood.

"Show me." Baekin breathed against his lips when they pulled back. Seongje hummed, sucking another kiss before he shuffled down the bed.

Seongje patted his thigh, "Lay down."

Baekjin exhaled through his nose and did as Seongje told him. Seongje's hands moved to his pants button, glancing up at Baekjin.

Baekjin stared at the ceiling. Seongje got on top of him. "Look at me. Is this what you want?" He asked. Baekjin's eyes dragged down to meet Seongje's.

He nodded. "Yes."

Seongje hummed. Kissed him again as his hand moved to unbutton Baekjin's pants. He moved down until he was face to face with Baekjin's torso. Saw the way his black boxers had darkened. Smiled. Heard Baekjin let out a sigh. He pulled the boxers down and threw them with his pants on the floor. Baekjin's cock slapped against his stomach.

Seongje glanced up, licking his lips. Baekjin had his arm covering his eyes with one arm, hips bucking up even though Seongje wasn't touching him. Seongje wrapped his hand around Baekjin, stroked him slowly. Saw as precome dribbled out of his flushed tip. He licked upwards from the base of his cock to the tip.

Baekjin's eyes shot open, mouth opening in a quiet moan. "Fuck." He breathed. Seongje hummed, mouth engulfing Baekjin's tip. Baekjin's head pushed back against the pillow, back arching into Seongje's mouth.

Baekjin clenched his fists by his side. The pleasure blinding his senses. Seongje pulled off, and Baekjin almost let out a whine. He heard a low laugh before Seongje dived back in fully until Baekjin's tip rested against the back of his throat. Baekjin let out a choked sound, hands moving on their own to grip Seongje's hair. Seongje moaned in response, and Baekjin almost came at that moment. He looked down to see one of Seongje's hands had disappeared underneath his body.

Seongje pulled off completely before taking all of him in again. Baekjin gasped. Black spots appeared in his vision, head spinning. Everything was going so fast. He opened his eyes again and watched as Seongje gave him long sucks while he stroked himself. He didn't want him to come by touching himself. Wanted to return the favor. But knew Seongje wanted it that way. Got off on seeing Baekjin so overwhelmed with pleasure. The thought made more precome drip out of his cock. Seongje licked it off, hand pushing up Baekjin's body to thumb his nipple.

Baekjin could feel himself reaching the brink. His breathing matched Seongje's as he pulled at Seongje's hair. "Going to—pull off—" He tried to say.

Seongje did. "Come for me." He said and took Baekjin in his mouth, granting him with full, quick sucks. Baekjin gasped, gripped Seongje's hair as he reached climax. Saw stars when Seongje's tongue swiped over his slit. He thrusted upwards, felt his come slide down Seongje's throat and came even more with a drawn out moan, thighs trembling as they shut around Seongje's head.

Seongje let out a groan of his own as he worked himself to release. He leaned his head against Baekjin's groin, taking a few breaths.

Baekjin's back arched down on the bed as he stared at the ceiling, his chest heaving up and down. He swallowed. Felt Seongje kiss his inner thigh and upwards to his stoamch and chest, pushing his shirt up as he went. He wrapped a hand around the back of Baekjin's neck, pulling him in to a slow kiss. Baekjin kissed him back with his eyes shut. Seongje kissed the corner of his mouth. His jaw. Neck. Under his ear. Laid beside Baekjin as he tried to catch his own breath.

Baekjin glanced at his torso and then met his eyes. "You…do you want me to?—"

Seongje licked his lips, shaking his head. "Already did."

Baekjin frowned in confusion, looked down at the bed. Saw the darkened spot where Seongje was not too long ago. His eyes widened slightly. "Oh." He mumbled, ears reddening.

Seongje chuckled.

Baekjin cleared his throat, glancing away. "Have you…done it before?" He questioned, shifting closer to the wall so they could both properly fit on the bed.

Seongje folded his left arm underneath his head, staring at the ceiling. "Once. Freshmen year."

Baekjin hummed. Felt himself come down from the high slowly.

Seongje glanced at him.

"It was good. I mean," Baekjin gulped. "Do you want me to do it back to you next time?" He asked and then realized what he'd just said and blinked rapidly.

Seongje grinned, turning his head to him. "There's gonna be a next time?"

Baekjin flushed, keeping his gaze on the ceiling. He didn't respond. When he looked back at Seongje, he was no longer smiling, his eyes averted. "If you help me change the sheets."

Seongje turned his eyes back to him, snorting. "Fuck off." He smirked.

Baekjin waited another minute before sitting up. "We should get to it." He said, grabbing his boxers and putting them on.

Seongje followed him.

Chapter Text

It was around midnight when Seongje started getting drowsy on the couch in the living room while he played a game with his left hand on his phone. Baekjin was watching a crime documentary that seemed to have his utmost attention.

Seongje glanced at him, straightening out his legs as he put his phone aside. They hadn't talked much after what had happened in the bedroom. He cleared his throat to get Baekjin's attention. It didn't. He rolled his eyes. "Where do you keep your blankets?"

Baekjin turned his serious gaze to him. They softened when they made eye contact with Seongje's. He got up quietly and got a blanket from his bedroom.

Seongje sat up. Took it from him with a grand bow. Baekjin stood there while Seongje got comfy. "What?" He asked, looking up at him.

"We should buy a new mattress tomorrow if you plan on living here."

Seongje grinned. "I'm touched you care about my maximum comfort."

Baekjin sighed. "Night." He said, turning off the TV and going to his bedroom.

—oo—

Baekjin couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. Kept remembering the way he was laying in the same position on his bed while Seongje—He sighed and shifted on his side. Closed his eyes. Imagined what it would feel like to have Seongje's front to his back while they slept. Turned to the other side. Blinked his eyes open.

Outside the window of his room, the full moon shone bright, coloring the floor in dim blue light. He shuffled on to his back. Did a military breathing exercise. Inhale for four second, hold for seven, exhale for eight. He did it a few more times.

It got his body relaxed, but his mind still reeled. He got up, strolled out of his room, and went to the kitchen. On his way, he glanced at Seongje. His back was turned to Baekjin, but he could tell he was sleeping.

Baekjin took a glass of milk back with him to his room. Ms. Yoon gave that to him whenever he couldn't sleep as a child. He had a terrible case of insomnia. There were night when he wouldn't be able to fall asleep at all even if Ms. Yoon went through every bedtime story she knew.

After drinking half the glass of milk, he was able to fall asleep.

—oo—

Seongje woke up to his phone ringing. His mom. He ignored it, turning his back to it. It rang again, and he groaned, pulling the blanket over his head. It stopped ringing, but then came the flurry of notification bells. He sighed, closing his eyes when no more noises could be heard. And then he remembered, the statements they were going to make at the police station and jolted up.

He swiped his phone unlocked and checked the texts from his mom.

—The statements are scheduled at 10.

—That's in an hour.

—I hope you didn't forget.

He rolled his eyes at the obviously condescending tone and tossed his phone back on the coffee table. He got up and went to Baekjin's room. When he opened the door, Baekjin was doing push-ups on the floor. He raised a brow, smirking. "It's nine in the morning, Bruce Lee."

Baekjin glanced up at him as he held the push up. "And?"

Seongje observed the way his body stayed in the position without even shaking the slightest bit. "Show off." He huffed, feeling a tug in his stomach.

"We have to go the police station at 10. Get ready." Seongje said and shut the door behind him.

They finished showering one by one in the next half an hour. When Seongje came back from the shower, it was nearing 09:40. They had to get to the station before 10, so they skipped breakfast and left Baekjin's apartment.

When they got to the station, they were met with Ms. Geum's lawyer who waved at them across the parking lot.

Seongje snorted as they walked up to him. "Fucking lunatic."

Baekjin glanced at him curiously, but didn't comment.

The lawyer, Park Ha-Joon, appeared to be in his 30's. Seongje glared at him the moment they shook hands. Baekjin raised a silent brow.

They were led inside by the lawyer to the back of the station. It was dim inside. A light flickered over their head. They sat down inside an equally dark room with a one-way mirror on the left.

They had practiced getting their story straight on their way here.

An older man pushed the door open and sat down. "I'm officer Kim. I'll be taking your statements today."

Seongje stood up, smiled wide but politely, and shook his hand. "Geum Seongje. This is my good friend, Na Baekjin."

Baekjin gave him a look before standing up as well and shaking officer Kim's hand. He gave a firm shake and sat down.

"So, what can you tell me about this Choi Chang-hee?"

—oo—

When they were done giving the statements, they were greeted with Lawyer Park outside the room. "I hope everything went well?" He asked, glancing between the two of them.

Seongje snorted beside Baekjin and started walking towards the exit. Baekjin exhaled through his nose. "It did." He nodded, going after Seongje.

As they walked back to the bus station, Seongje asked, "Where are we going next? IKEA, I assume?"

Baekjin glanced at him. Wondered what Seongje had against that lawyer. Thought better than to ask if he didn't prompt it himself. Seongje had a lot of enemies. "I was thinking where we'd put the mattress if we did get it. There isn't enough space in the living room."

"Yes there is."

"No." Baekjin replied immediately.

Seongje frowned, turning to him. "Why not?" He asked as they reached the bus station.

Because Baekjin liked the current layout of the living room. He didn't want to change it. So many things were changing, especially his and Seongje's relationship. He wanted one constant. "Not…enough space." He rationalized, nonchalantly.

Seongje stared at him for a long minute. "You freak, you want me to sleep with you in your bed?" He cackled loudly, causing heads to turn their way.

Baekjin glared, giving him a shove. Seongje grinned, shoving him back. "It's not that." Baekjin scoffed.

The same bus they'd taken from Baekjin's apartment arrived, and Baekjin got in without another word. Seongje rolled his eyes, following him.

They sat side by side in the very back seat.

Seongje stared at Baekjin's profile and then when the bus started moving, his eyes widened in comical disbelief, "You don't want to move things in the living room, isn't that right?"

Baekjin glanced at him sideways. Stayed quiet. Well, yes. That was another reason he didn't want to.

"It is!" Seongje chuckled. "You're a psycho." He shook his head.

Baekjin exhaled through his nose. "I'll take the couch. You can have the bed." He offered.

Seongje looked at him with narrowed eyes and smiled. "You're willing to give me your bed but not let me get a new mattress? How romantic." He mocked.

Alright. This was getting out of hand and to Seongje's head.

"Fine. Get a mattress." He muttered, watching as the bus drove past his old school.

Seongje glanced at him in annoyance. "You suggested it, remember?"

Baekjin clearly hadn't thought through it fully. "I know." He met Seongje's eyes.

They stared at each other in silence before the bus stopped, and they got off.

Seongje nudged him. "I'll sleep on the couch." He mumbled as they moved along on the sidewalk.

"Get one."

Seongje sighed, taking out a cigarette. "You don't want me to."

Baekjin swallowed. "We can have it in my room."

Seongje paused with the cigarette in his mouth.

Baekjin stopped in his tracks, turning around a little. "What?" He asked.

"Nothing. Just— You want us to sleep together in your bedroom?" Seongje stumbled, lighting the cigarette aflame. He caught up to Baekjin as he started walking again.

Baekjin blinked. "Not together. Separately. In our own beds."

Seongje smirked. "You know what I meant."

"Yes. In my bedroom." Baekjin told him, pushing Seongje's hand offering the cigarette. "Lunch time."

"Oh yeah, forgot I'm fucking starving. We should go to the Chinese place down the street from your apartment."

Baekjin hummed.

—oo—

After having lunch, they made their way to the nearest store that sold mattresses. It was a mall, no less. Baekjin hated malls.

Seongje ate his choco pie as the escalator took them to the second floor. "Stop looking like a grump. I asked if you wanted one, and you said no." Seongje chewed.

Baekjin could care less about the choco pie. "I don't like malls." He said, glancing at Seongje. He had a bit of crumbs stuck at the side of his lips, and Baekjin pointed to it quietly.

Seongje lifted his brows. "What?" He asked, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.

Fortunately, it cleaned the crumbs away. Baekjin turned right as they looked around for the store Seongje had looked up. They passed a bath & beauty, Nike, a restaurant. "Why don't you like malls?"

"I…" Baekjin frowned a little. He'd never stopped to think the reason behind it. He couldn't remember why. He just didn't.

Seongje finished his pie and nudged Baekjin. "Look at that mannequin. He looks just like you." He said, mimicking the way the mannequin stood with his hands to his side while gazing ahead. He burst out in laughter when Baekjin deadpanned.

"I don't look like that."

"Yes, you do. You're standing like him right now."

Baekjin glanced down at himself. Found Seongje was right. Rolled his eyes and turned away, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. Whatever.

Seongje laughed louder behind him.

When they reached the store, he had to physically drag Seongje away from jumping on the mattresses like a fucking kid. He apologized to a staff employee that gave them a shocked expression.

"It's called testing them out." Seongje explained after they were kicked out of the store. "How am I supposed to know if it's sturdy enough to sleep on?"

Baekjin appeared disturbed, sighing. "It's a mistake to go with you anywhere in public."

"Did I embarrass you?" Seongje pouted teasingly in Baekjin's face.

Baekjin elbowed him. "Behave."

Seongje's eyes glinted, a devious grin on his lips. "Make me." He suggested, raising a smug brow.

Baekjin walked right into that one. He blamed himself.

As they strolled a few more minutes, he pointed to a shop near the end of the exit. "Let's go there." He said.

This time, Seongje only sat down on them and lay down a couple of times. Nothing too crazy, thankfully. One of the staff members came to assist them and showed a mattress that Seongje seemed the most satisfied with.

Who knew he was so picky with his bedding?

He watched as Seongje paid for it. The staff member told them it'll arrive in a few days.

Seongje flashed her a charming smile, "Thank you. You're a savior."

The woman blushed, shaking him off.

Baekjin raised a brow. Resisted the urge to scoff in disdain. The dichotomy. He glanced away. Didn't say anything as he felt something ugly bloom in his chest.

Jealousy.

He only nodded and hummed as Seongje talked to him while they reached the apartment.

They took off their shoes by the doorway as usual, and Baekjin walked inside. Seongje raised a brow as he watched Baekjin go to his bedroom. He'd noticed the sudden silence. But it didn't make sense to think that it was because Seongje had done anything wrong. He was probably in one of his weird moods.

Baekjin showered and came out fresh to find Seongje sitting on the couch. He sat down in the armchair opposite him. Wondered if he should ask what's been on his mind since last night.

Seonjge glanced at Baekjin and then back at his phone. A minute passed. He put his phone down. Stared at his right hand. "What? What's going on?"

Baekjin dragged his eyes from the window and to Seongje. "What?"

"You've gone all silent on me. And I can't guess what I've possibly done wrong if you don't say it." Seongje clenched his jaw.

"Nothing."

Seongje snorted, not believing him. "You were fine before we went to the mall."

"I'm just tired." Baekjin said, going to the kitchen. Seongje stood up. Followed him inside. Watched as Baekjin got out a cold bottle of water.

"You don't go all quiet when you're tired. In fact, you speak more because I get under your skin." Seongje grinned as if proud of himself, tilting his head.

Baekjin glanced up from where he was pouring the water into a glass. It was irritating how much Seongje noticed and how much he was oblivious to. He drank the water in one go.

Seongje rolled his eyes, taking a step forward.

Baekjin paused. Stared down into the glass. "We're not dating." He stated. He didn't mean to sound so cold about it, but it just came out that way. He had to make it clear, so he wouldn't get carried away thinking Seongje wanted more. He probably didn't. Baekjin didn't either.

Seongje looked at him for a second before laughing amusedly. "Of course we're not dating. We're just…fuck buddies." He was scared that they were going too fast. Scared Baekjin might run away again if Humin showed him even an ounce of affection. Besides, they were both just horny teenagers. It couldn't hurt to fuck around. No feelings involved.

Baekjin gazed at him. Thought about it.

"No strings attached, obviously." Seongje shrugged casually, hands in his pockets as he met Baekjin's eyes.

Good. Then Baekjin doesn't have to worry about him flirting with other people. Can ignore the pang he felt earlier. It shouldn't be affecting him at all. Ridiculous.

"Great." He said, passing by Seongje.

Seongje quirked a brow, trailing behind him to Baekjin's bedroom. Leaned against the doorway as he watched Baekjin do the laundry. "How much is the rent?"

Baekjin neatly folded a pair of pants. "₩1,945,790($1400)."

"Fuck, that much for a month? So if we split it in half, I'd have to pay ₩972,895($700)?"

"Yes."

Seongje sighed dramatically, plopping down on Baekjin's bed. "There goes buying a gaming console."

"You don't need one." Baekjin took out the ironing board from the closet and unfolded it.

Seongje pressed his lips in a thin line. "Just because you don't game doesn't mean I can't."

"You can go to an Internet cafe like you've always done." Baekjin said, ironing a shirt.

Seongje sat up on the bed, glanced at the ironing board, and rolled his eyes. "It might be cheaper to get a gaming console."

"Do the math yourself." Baekjin muttered.

Seongje grinned. "Even if I have a walking calculator right in front of me?" He didn't get a reaction in return. He huffed, taking his phone out.

Baekjin did the mental math and tried to say, "Neither option is good—"

"I told you it would be more cost effective to buy a gaming console!" Seongje laughed, looking up from his phone, giddy like a child.

Baekjin frowned. He was never letting him do math again. "You gave your uncle a rent of $800. Bought a mattress and its frame for $300. You don't have the money left to buy a gaming console." He rationalized.

Seongje licked his lips, smiling. "You think that Choi didn't send me an advance to kill you?"

Baekjin deadpanned. "I'll kick you out if you buy it." He said, putting the clothes away in his closet. He hung up the few shirts at last.

"I don't believe it."

"Your name isn't on the apartment lease yet, so I can." Baekjin said, putting the iron board inside as well.

Seongje chuckled and stood up, stopping behind him. "You're so sexy when you go all logical."

—xx—

When Baekjin turned around, he could feel Seongje's eyes filled with a gleam that sent a shiver down his spine. He swallowed. Resisted the temptation to close the distance between them. Glanced down to see Seongje feeling the same way. "I just showered." Baekjin mumbled.

Seongje hummed, moved his face to bury it in Baekjin's neck, wrapping his arms around his waist. Breathed in his scent. Coconut vanilla body soap. Whispered in his ears, "Push me away then."

Baekjin didn't. Stayed still as Seongje's lips brushed kisses down his neck. As he felt the softness of his hands thumb the skin underneath his shirt. He tugged at Seongje's hair. Brought their lips together. Said yes to the same pleasure that had kept him up at night yesterday. Realized he'd never wanted something more than Seongje's lips on his and shuddered.

The kiss was brief but rough as Seongje prodded at his lips. Biting and nibbling until he was sure Baekjin's lips were swollen. Baekjin licked Seongje's lips, pushing his tongue inside as he pulled him close. Seongje hummed into the kiss. Baekjin held Seongje against him as their clothed torsos brushed together, elicitng a moan from himself. Seongje kisssed down his neck, tilting Baekjin's head with a hand in his hair as he went.

Baekjin pushed his hand up Seongje's shirt. Felt soft skin under his fingertips as they explored upwards to his chest. He paused and then sweeped over Seongje's nipple with the pad of his thumb. Seongje made a sound into his neck, biting down. Baekjin's breath hitched. He did it again. Took the nipple between his fingers and twisted it. That rewarded him with a groan from Seongje. Seongje's lips found his again as he tugged at Baekjin's shirt to be off. Baekjin pulled back, let him get it off his head and throw it on the floor.

Before Baekjin could kiss him again, Seongje's mouth tracked down his chest—the scars there—, his stomach, his hip bones until they landed in front of Baekjin's pants. He held his breath as he looked down at him. The sight was too much to handle. He felt his boxers get more soaked. But Seongje didn't touch him yet. He held eye contact as he nibbled right below his belly button. As his hands ran up and touched Baekjin's nipples, twisting and pinching until Baekjin let out a gasp, head pushing back against the wall behind him, hand coming up to clutch at Seongje's hair. He thrusted his hips forward against Seongje's mouth, wanting any bit of release he could get.

Seongje chuckled as he felt the quiet thrust, nibbling another spot on his waist. "What?"

Baekjin was afraid saying the words out too loud would make this too real—something he couldn't take back, something he couldn't pretend was a fantasy playing out than a thing rooted in reality—so he didn't. Instead, he looked down at Seongje and tried communicating what he wanted with his eyes. Hoping for mercy even if he knew he would likely not get any.

His predictions were true. Seongje glanced up at him and then down at his abdomen, licking his lips. "Say it."

Baekjin swallowed. Refused. But the stiffness in his pants only increased at Seongje's demand. A sick torment that was turning him on more than he'd like to admit.

Seongje hummed, unbuttoning his pants. Baekjin stepped out of them. Felt relief Seongje wasn't going to make him say it. But that lasted only a few seconds. He watched as Seongje peered at his soaked boxers, glanced up at him, leaned his mouth forward, and blew air on it. Even that made Baekjin lose his mind. His head thumped back against the wall loudly, back arching as his boxers tightened more.

"Be a good boy and say what you want." Seongje whispered, breath fanning over Baekjin's pelvis again.

Fuck. The way Seongje's voice was so collected and ever so patient just made him— "Touch me." Baekjin moaned before he could stop himself.

Seongje groaned, his own cock leaking more precome in his pants. He placed a kiss on Baekjin's boxers, glancing up at him. Baekjin's eyes were almost closed as they looked back at him. He tugged down Baekjin's boxers, holding him in his hand as he thumbed the tip. Baekjin almost cried out. He heard a stifled laugh against his groin. "So sensitive."

Baekjin willed himself to open his eyes. To observe how Seongje was doing what he was doing to get Baekjin weak in his knees so he could repay the gesture. So he could see Seongje fall apart the same way under his touch. He watched as Seongje kissed the tip. Gathered the precome with his tongue and stood up, kissing Baekjin. Baekjin made a sound deep in his throat as he tasted himself on Seongje's tongue. Seongje tongued him, saliva mixed with Baekjin's precome entering Baekjin's mouth. He chased Seongje's lips as he pulled away and knelt down again, Baekjin's hands settling in his hair. He tugged, wanting Seongje to get on with it.

Seongje slowly took him in, inch by inch. His tongue ran under Baekjin's cock, making Baekjin curl his toes on the floor as he tried to stand upright. His grip tightened on Seongje's hair, and he felt him groan around his cock. Baekjin moaned, chest heaving up and down. Seongje hummed, and Baekjin spilled more precome in Seongje's mouth. Seongje didn't stop. Went all the way until he was deepthroating Baekjin. Baekjin's hips stuttered. His fists curled as he attempted to hold back from coming right there and then. Seongje pulled back and then took all of him back in a practiced motion. Baekjin barely registered his own drawn out groan before he was spurting in Seongje's mouth. Seongje didn't pull away. He wrapped his hand around Baekjin's cock, working him through his release until he was sure the last drop of come was milked. He heard a curse as Seonje pulled back and mumbled a, "I could devour you."

Baekjin's body fell loose against the wall as he tried to catch his breath from the staggering climax, feeling embarrassed for coming in less than a minute. Seongje puffed a few breaths against his hip bone. He kissed the spot before standing up. Baekjin glanced down at him and then his cock. He looked back at Seongje. Seongje raised a brow. "Think you wanna try?" He asked, one of his hands holding the small of Baekjin's back.

Baekjin made an affirmative noise. Trailed his hand down till they reached Seongje's pants while he kissed him. Seongje kissed back, hands coming to rest on his hips before going down and squeezing his ass. Baekjin unbuttoned his pants, changing their positions and dropping to his knees. He eyed the obvious erection in front of him and pulled Seongje's pants down with his briefs. His cock nudged Baekjin's chin as Seongje tugged at his hair, taking in a sharp inhale.

Seongje was slightly bigger than him, because of course he was. It didn't scare Baekjin, though. It just made him more determined to make Seongje forget his own name. He glanced up, saw Seongje staring at him with keen attention. Baekjin swallowed. Seongje brushed his hand through his hair. "It's not a puzzle. Just go in when you're ready." The words felt mockingly sympathetic. Understanding. So different from how he was in any other given moment. So unlike Seongje.

Baekjin didn't like that. He didn't need to be pampered. He could do this. Had done things tougher than giving a blowjob. So feeling bold, Baekjin dived in all the way and immediately gagged, pulling back. He coughed, breathing in through his nose. Seongje laughed. "Easy. God, still so cocky even when you're giving a blowjob."

Baekjin glared up at him, catching his breath. He took Seongje's head in, grazed his teeth against the skin in retaliation. Seongje cursed, pushing into his mouth. "Shit. That feels good." Bakejin rolled his eyes, holding on to Seongje's waist as he took in more of him.

Seongje watched as his cock went inside Baekjin's mouth and back out rhythmically, head bobbing with the movement. His eyes were closed. Eyebrows frowned in focus as his cheeks puffed out. Seongje moaned at the sight. Almost came too. For someone doing it for the first time, he was doing it way too excellently. Overachiever. A frustrating yet enticing trait that had Seongje slamming his head back against the wall in pleasure. "Fuck. So fucking good." He tugged at Baekjin's hair.

Baekjin pulled back, hand wrapping around Seongje's cock as he breathed in and out. He tilted his head left to right and back. "Is someone tired?" Seongje stuck his bottom lip out, looking down at him. His lips immediately eased into a smile as he saw Baekjin do breathing exercises. Baekjin pinched the back of his thigh. Seongje hissed. He nudged Baekjin's knee with his foot.

"Shut up." Baekjin told him.

Seongje's mouth opened with a retort just as Baekjin deepthroated him, causing him to let out a tight laugh. He hummed as Baekjin set a slightly faster pace. Baekjin's hands trailed down, squeezing Seongje's ass as he brought him in.

Seongje let out a choked grunt, yanking back Baekjin's hair to make him look up into his eyes. He saw the way Baekjin's eyes gleamed the same way as his had when he was taking Baekjin apart, and that made him buck his hips forward, nearly fucking his mouth.

Baekjin gagged once. Didn't pull away. Breathed through his nose and took Seongje deeper inside his mouth. Seongje groaned, "Fuck, I'm gonna—" He stuttered. Baekjin pulled back at that moment, stroked him through the release as he moved to the left, the come shooting on the floor in hot white spurts. Watched as his hand wet with the same liquid. He glanced at Seongje whose eyes were now closed as he leaned back against the wall. He stood up, knees aching from scraping against the tiles. Baekjin tried to catch his breath as Seongje brought him closer by his waist. He fit his palm against Baekin's jaw and pulled his lips in for a winding kiss.

"Not bad. Decent, even." Seongje said, thumbing Baekjin's reddened bottom lip.

Baekjin stared at Seongje's flushed face. "Fuck you." He stepped away, pulling his boxers on.

Seongje laughed, watching him. "That's gonna be next." He pulled his own clothes on and glanced at the mess on the floor just a few feet away.

"You're going to clean it." Baekjin mumbled, moving past Seongje straight to the shower.

Chapter Text

It came easy to them to just fuck around during the nightime or even while the sun was up outside. One moment they would be watching a movie and then another, they could be in the other's lap, making out. Baekjin was shy at first. Reluctant to do it when they weren't in the vicinity of their bedroom. But as time went by, he'd come to accept it. Even initiated it. A pat on Seongje's thigh for him to get on Baekjin's lap or even just giving that specific tilt of his head that had Seongje grinning and scrambling. Seongje had completely inconvenient times when he would try to initiate contact, however. It annoyed Baekjin to no end, because it was always when he was in the middle of something. Doing a chore so mundane. How could someone get turned on by that? It confused him. Made him wonder what exactly went on in Seongje's head when he came up. He didn't deny him, though. The idiot could talk. And when he did, well, Baekjin hadn't found the immunity cure to it yet. He was still wondering how to not fall into his traps.

It was one of those times right now. He had Budae Jjigae cooking on low heat on the stove when he felt Seongje press up against him. He wasn't hard, but Baekjin could tell this was going to be one of those days.

"Let me taste it." Seongje whispered in Baekjin's ears, arms wrapping around his waist as he put his chin on his shoulder.

Baekjin didn't say anything, moved to the right to get serving bowls out. "It's not ready yet." He replied. Seongje had apparently declared himself the "taste-tester of the house" and used it as an excuse to bother Baekjin while he was cooking. It worked the first time. It wasn't going to work again.

Seongje didn't pull away, "It's been on the stove for like half an hour. How fucking long does it take?" He laughed, squeezing Baekjin's waist as he dropped a kiss underneath his ear.

"If you cooked, you'd know." He said, suppressing a shudder.

"You never even let me pick up a knife." Seongje argued, nibbling on a spot close to Baekjin's collarbone.

Baekjin sighed. Turned around in his arms. "Because you're a menace." He explained, trying to get Seongje to loosen his grip on his waist. Seongje only pulled him closer.

"Am I a menace when I do this?" Seongje asked, kissing him. Baekjin's fluttered close and kissed him back. His hand reached up to give Seongje's hair a little rough tug. Seongje moaned, and Baekjin used that as an opportunity to move his tongue inside Seongje's mouth, hands coming down to grip his ass.

He pushed Seongje back against the kitchen counter. "Behave." He mumbled, biting down on Seongje's bottom lip.

"Don't wanna. You're so hot when you get like this." Seongje moaned as Baekjin drew his head back, nipping at his Adam's apple. His hands went to grab at Baekjin's shirt only to have them be pinned against the counter. He smirked.

"Not right now." Baekjin told him, even as his clothed hardness brushed against Seongje's.

Seongje licked his lips, swallowing a sound. "What do I get for behaving?"

Baekjin stared at him. "If you behave…" He whispered, trailing a hand down to cup Seongje through his pants, "You'll get a reward."

Seongje let a whimpered moan slip between his lips as Baekjin pulled away. Right. Very specific. "What kind of reward?" He tried to pry as Baekjin turned his back to him once again, feeling his pants tighten. He cursed silently.

"You'll see." Baekjin said, staying discreet.

Seongje rolled his eyes. "But—"

Baekjin gave him a look that shut his mouth up.

He scoffed, returning to the living room.

When they were done eating and had cleaned the dishes, Seongje followed Baekjin back to the living room. Baekjin sat down on the couch, getting his phone out.

Seongje waited patiently for him to finish whatever he was doing, before he gave up and narrowed his eyes. "So what kind of reward do I get?" He questioned, tilting his head to the side.

Baekjin sat down beside him with his phone. "You already got it."

"What?" Seongje asked, confused.

Baekjin glanced up. "I made you a meal. That was your reward."

Seongje's mouth fell agape at the audacity. "That? That was my reward? You're joking, right?"

"Well, what were you expecting exactly?" Baekjin tilted his head like he didn't know what else Seongje could possibly be referring to.

Seongje narrowed his eyes, glaring at him through his glasses before his face broke out into a grin. "You know what I want, hmm?"

Baekjin looked away. Back to his phone, his thumb hovering over the screen but not moving. "No." He replied even as Seongje saw the tips of his ears darken with color.

Seongje licked his lips, observing his side profile. He decided to push a bit further, wanting to see how far he could go to make Baekjin flush completely. "I wanted a blow job." He stated bluntly.

Baekjin was used to the vulgarness, of course he was. And he wouldn't even have reacted at all if it wasn't for the sheer desire inside him that he couldn't push down no matter what. So, his breath hitched. His cheeks warmed even more, grip tightening around the device in his hand. He lifted his head and faced Seongje only to be greeted with the same look of ravenous glint that he seemed to have recently, as if a beast hidden was inside him, barely containing itself.

He glanced away. Pushed down whatever lust was trying to fog his brain. "You already got it." He said, shutting his phone and standing up. "I'm going to bed."

Seongje groaned behind him, muttering something about Baekjin being a 'fucking tease' with the fading sound of him unzipping his pants.

Baekjin himself looked down at himself and rolled his eyes in response to what he saw evident.

Not tonight.

—oo—

School was starting in less than a week, which would mean they wouldn't have as much time to just lay around and do nothing all day. It'll be a challenge for Seongje more than it will be for Baekjin. There wasn't much they could about it, however. They had to go to the school. Baekjin still wanted to keep studying. Not totally ruin his future. As for Seongje…he had called his mom last week, and she had firmly said 'no' to him dropping out. He'd asked for a transfer to the same school Baekjin went to, and she'd reluctantly agreed to say 'yes' to that.

"It's not like she can control me after I turn 18 next year." Seongje had sulked. Baekjin had let him buy extra snacks that week. That helped more than he would've guessed.

The week before, they'd received another call from Seongje's mom telling them to check the news.

When they did, Choi Chang-hee was being taken to a police station, with cameramen surrounding him everywhere. A police officer put a mask on his face to hide it.

Seongje snorted as he munched on an ice cream bar. "Let the world see the idiot." He shifted, legs lying on Baekjin's lap.

Baekjin half chuckled.

From what Seongje had been told from his no-longer right hand man, Daehyun, the members weren't arrested except for the ones that had bad school records. The others were released by the police after their statements, including Han Daehyun.

—oo—

Since such a short time was left, they'd gone shopping for school supplies. Seongje couldn't care less about the type of pencil he used, but Baekjin was beyond any kind of salvage from his obsession with finding the right one. They had entered the store an hour ago.

"Fuck, just pick one." Seongje tapped his foot against the ground impatiently as he watched Baekjin contemplate over which notebook was the best between the three options that were laid out.

Baekjin didn't look up from the notebooks, still going through them. "I can't just pick one. They don't have the brand I usually buy from."

Seongje rolled his eyes, plucking the notebook that Baekjin was examining out of his hand. "What's the difference?" He said, looking through the empty pages.

"The quality. The format. None of these have it." Baekjin explained calmly like he was talking to a kid.

Seongje threw the notebook back on the shelf. "You're so annoying."

"I didn't ask you to come with me." Baekjin glared, fixing the thrown notebook back in its original place neatly.

"Yeah well, I didn't think you'd take so goddamn long to choose a notebook." Seongje scoffed out a laugh.

"Go home." Baekjin said, irritated. He pushed the cart forward to go to the checkout.

Seongje threw an arm over his shoulder, grinning, "Is baby angry?"

Obnoxious. Baekjin had told him to stop saying that. He wouldn't listen. He didn't spare him a glance, slapping his arm away.

"Would you prefer I have my arm around your waist?" Seongje asked as they neared the checkout, arm already wrapping around Baekjin's waist.

The old lady at the counter raised her eyebrows.

Baekjin pushed him away, placing the things from the cart onto the checkout belt.

Seongje smirked, shaking his head. "Can you tell he treats me horribly?" He asked the woman at the counter.

She smiled kindly. "I'm sure he loves you very much."

Baekjin paused. Met the cashier's gaze with an empty look in his eyes. Seongje raised a quiet brow, stifling a snicker.

Baekjin silently packed the stationery in the bags provided and walked away after placing them in the cart. Seongje watched him go and turned back to the old woman, fishing his wallet out. "Extra tip for that." He gestured to the way Baekjin was headed with a wink.

When they reached home, Baekjin let them inside quietly, Seongje having carried the bags the whole way. He couldn't understand why the whole interaction rubbed Baekjin the wrong way when they both knew Baekjin didn't love Seongje. That was ridiculous.

He walked inside their bedroom, set the stationery down on Baekjin's desk, and flopped on his bed. He could see the way Baekjin's shoulders were still tense, gaze narrowed at everything, jaw clenched.

"You don't love me. We know." Seongje chuckled, getting on his phone as he laid on his back. His right hand still sometimes hurt numbly, but after the fight with Choi's men, he'd thrown the cast in the trash because it kept getting on his nerves.

Baekjin paused as he was organizing the highlighters, back stiffening. After a moment of silence, he went back to what he was doing. Seongje tilted his head to look at him, fingers tapping away rapidly on his phone. "I don't get why you're so ticked off."

"I'm not." Baekjin replied immediately as he finished arranging the last bit of the stationery. He wasn't upset. He was just wondering why the word 'love' was making him so nauseous. He didn't love Seongje and vice versa. That's how it'll always be. They wouldn't cross that line. Ever. He wasn't even sure he was capable of loving. If either of them were.

Seongje hummed, smashed a spot on his phone until a 'you won' sign came on. "I can never tell the difference." He bent an arm behind his head, throwing his phone beside him.

"I don't like it when people make assumptions."

"She thought we might be close. What's the big deal?" Seongje sat up.

Baekjin turned to him. Met his eyes and moved to his bed. He sat down silently. Took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it aflame.

Seongje rotated his body to him. Watched as Baekjin inhaled a drag. "I don't love you either, just so we're clear." He snorted, extending his leg and nudging Baekjin's foot.

Baekjin leaned back on one arm as he brought the cigarette to his lips. "Prove it."

Seongje's eyes roamed over his body, quirking a brow. "Prove it?"

"Prove it." Baekjin affirmed, shifting his hips.

Seongje grinned and got on his lap.

—xx—

Seongje had started joining Baekjin in his routinely night showers after a few too many make out session interrupted.

Baekjin pushed him up on to the sink counter, lips fixed on Seongje's neck as he left a hickey. Seongje chuckled, licking his lips as he wrapped his legs around Baekjin's waist, bringing him closer. "You gonna hold me like this against the shower wall?" He asked, helping Baekjin take off his shirt. He gasped when Baekjin leaned down to swirl his tongue on his nipple, head throwing back.

"I might." Baekjin said, pulling Seongje's pants off with his underwear, cold air hitting his dripping cock. Seongje moaned, sucking a hard kiss to Baekjin's lips.

"Put all those push-ups to work, huh?" He whispered, titling his head to the side as Baekjin nibbled on his collarbone. Baekjin didn't appear like he had muscles or strength underneath his clothes from outside other than fighting skills, but Seongje had learned he had an extremely strong body. An even more rigorous workout he liked to do in the mornings. It was impressive. More importantly though, the muscles and the strength combined was an unexpected turn on.

Baekjin hummed, lifted him off the counter and stepped into the shower, pushing him against the wall behind him.

Seongje laughed softly, teeth on display as he grabbed on to Baekjin's shoulders. "Show off." He said, threading his hand through Baekjin's hair before giving it a tug.

Baekjin raised a quiet brow, turning on the shower. Warm water started to spray down on to them. Baekjin brushed his hair back with a hand. Seongje swiped the water on his lips, staring at him. "I can put you down if you'd like." Baekjin bit down on Seongje's lip, feeling his cock stiffen.

Seongje chuckled, "Smug bastard." He mumbled.

Baekjin's hands squeezed his ass roughly in return, making Seongje moan with want. Their lips joined together to make out for a few more minutes, lips swollen once they pulled back. Seonjge looked at him with mischief in his eyes, "Put me down." He demanded.

Baekjin was glad he said that, because his arms were getting tired from holding Seongje up to the wall for so long. He wouldn't have given in if Seongje hadn't either.

Seongje brused past him and grabbed the body wash. Baekjin watched him as he poured the soap in a loofah and scrubbed it along his body. He intentionally bent down to do his legs, and Baekjin swallowed. Seongje stood up again and turned to him with a knowing grin. "Do my back." He said, throwing the loofah at Baekjin's chest.

Baekjin caught it with his hand, glancing up at him. Seongje pushed back against him until he felt Baekjn's hard cock against his ass, letting out a low moan as he let the water wash down his front. Baekjin held on to his waist and pressed his back closer to his front, snuggling his cock against Seongje's ass. Seonjge gasped, leaning his head back onto Baekjin's shoulder. Baekjin brought the loofa up over Seongje's spine and squeezed the suds, watching them go down his back and between his cock against Seongje's ass. He got on his knees and licked a stripe up the samll of Seongje's back. Seonjge turned his head slightly and looked down at him, water drizzling down his face. "Are you gonna eat me out?" He laughed, facing the shower again.

Baekjin glanced at the back of Seongje's head. "I want to." He risked, feeling his heart in his throat. Instead of the smug expression, he got a surprised silence from Seongje for a second. And then, Seongje looked down at him with a wide smile, almost like he expected it.

"Thought you'd never ask." Seongje snorted.

Baekjin gripped his ass, parted it, hesitated for a second before diving in with his tongue prodding the entrance. Felt Seongje brace himself against the wall with his arms crossed. "Fuck." He heard him whisper under his breath. Baekjin was only getting started though. He placed a kiss and then held Seongje's ass cheeks apart as he inserted his tongue in his entrance. Seongje clenched around him. He pushed a little more, and Seongje was coming apart. Bakejin could hear the wet slap of Seongje's cock sliding out of his fist as he stroked himself.

Baekjin firmly squeezed him, one of his hands going around Seongje's torso and wrapping itself around Seongje's cock. "Don't." He warned.

Seongje cursed, throwing his head back. "Payback?" He laughed and then moaned when Bakejin entered his tongue inside him halfway.

Baekjin hummed, gave Seongje's cock a slow jerk as he ate him out, trying to find that sweet spot inside Seongje.

Seongje leaned his head against his arms on the wall and breathed in through his nose, resisting the temptation to touch himself. He opened his eyes in time to see Bakejin thumb his slit and whimpered, thrusting into his hand. Felt Baekjin make a sound against his entrance before setting a pace as he moved his tongue in and out of him.

Seongje's knees weakened as Baekjin worked his mouth and hand at the same time, making Seongje's mind short circuit from the amount of sheer pleasure running through his body. He willed himself to stand straight as his knees started to feel weak.

Unlike Seongje, Baekjin took his time to bring Seongje to release, stopping his strokes several times just as Seongje was about to come. He even slowed his tongue down as Seongje begin to thrust back. Seongje whined shamelessly at the loss of Baekjin's hand on his cock and covered it with his own, working himself to release. He felt Baekjin pull away from his entrance, his hand wrapping around Seongje's wrist. "Stop." He said quietly. Not asking, a command.

"Fuck. Are you edging me? Do you even know what that is?" Seongje panted, his hand still stroking himself. Baekjin forced it off with his hand and held his wrist against his back.

"I want to make it good for you."

And that was enough to make Seongje come with a loud cry, white liquid mixing with the water drops on the wall in front of him. He touched himself through it with a long moan until his cock twitched with sensitivity, and he felt pain combine with pleasure.

What the fuck—

Baekjin watched him with shock written on his face, cheeks flushed red as he felt his neglected cock weep against his thigh. He gave himaelf a stroke and then two more before he followed Seongje's release, his come pulling around Seongje's feet. He stood up.

Seonjge breathed in and out, trying to get his hearbeat under control.

Baekjin leaned against the wall beside him, looking at him sideways. He heard a chuckle and then a full on laugh. "You—What was that?"

"I should be asking you that." Baekjin replied, gazing forward.

Seongje snorted, shaking his head. "Since when did you learn how to talk dirty? Of course I fucking came."

Baekjin didn't know to respond to that, so he stayed quiet. He wasn't really talking dirty, he was just being honest. But it was better Seongje thought of it that way than whatever was going on Baekjin's mind.

—xx—

Baekjin pushed Seongje onto the couch, lying on top of him as Seongje ground up into him, moaning into his mouth. Baekjin drew his head back, exposing his neck. He bit down just below Seongje's jaw and then sucked a hickey a little down. Seongje squeezed his waist, humming. Baekjin's mouth moved to another spot that was a bit more sensitive and inserted his teeth on the skin there, nibbling and licking until it turned a dark red under his gaze. His hands pushed up inside Seongje's shirt, finding his nipples and pinching them between his fingers.

Seongje gasped up into his touch, bringing Baekjin's lips to his by tugging on his hair. Baekjin kissed him back. Nibbled on his bottom lip before pulling back and looking down at Seongje. His red lips combined with the ruffled hair and the look of lust in his eyes made him such an alluring image. "You're…pretty like this." Baekjin breathed, eyes averted. He heard Seongje's breath hitch, taken aback.

Seongje pulled at his hair, making Baekjin look into his eyes again. His heartbeat thrummed against his chest loudly. "Yeah?" He asked, as if to confirm he hadn't heard Baekjin wrong.

Baekjin stared at his lips. "Yes." He answered faintly.

Seongje grinned. "I know I am."

Baekjin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He closed their lips into a kiss again, twisting Seongje's nipple. Seongje made a sound, arching his back into Baekjin's touch.

—xx—

Two days later, school started. It was the first day, and they were late because Seongje had decided they had to stay up last night to do a movie marathon. Of Star Wars. Baekjin had fallen asleep halfway through the first movie. But Seongje had watched it until it was 3 in the morning and then went to bed.

Idiot.

"Well, well. Look who decided to join us." The homeroom teacher gestured to them from the front of the classroom as they entered through back.

Seonjge grinned, doing a grand bow. "New here." And then when a few boys of the boys snickered, he glanced up at them and said, "Don't mess with me if you don't wanna get beaten up."

The teacher looked mortified. Seongje laughed.

Baekjin had long since taken a seat by the window and stared ahead, blinking. A second later, Seongje sat down beside him at the same table.

Baekjin pretended not to know him.

When the school finally dismissed, Seongje had pissed off more people than Baekjin could count on his fingers. None of them dared to fight him after one came up to him and said 'why are you hanging out with this loser' while gesturing to Baekjin. Baekjin had half a mind to punch him as well, but Seongje did everything for him, so he'd just stared in boredom.

"You can study at home. Why do you have to go to cram school?" Seongje asked, as they walked out of the school.

Baekjin glanced at him. "Because it's my final year, and I need to focus."

Seongje frowned. "You can focus at home."

"Not with you there."

"Are you saying I'm a distraction?" Seongje nudged him with a self-satisfied smirk.

Baekjin rolled his eyes. Yes. He was, in the worst way possible.

"Come on, I'll let you study. I'm gonna be gaming until night anyway." Seongje yawned, getting his phone out.

"I have to go." Baekjin said and left while Seongje was distracted on his phone. He heard a 'hey', but was glad when no footsteps followed it.

Chapter Text

As promised, Seongje was playing games when Baekjin came back to the apartment and glanced at him as he took his shoes off. Baekjin quietly made his way to his bedroom, set his backpack down by his desk, and went to take a shower.

Seongje was still gaming and unaware of Baekjin's presence moving around the apartment. It was a little concerning, Baekjin thought distantly as he put on his clothes and walked out of his bedroom. What if a burglar came in and stole? Seongje would have no fucking clue.

Baekjin strolled up to the couch Seongje was sitting on and stood behind. He tugged Seongje's headphones off, and Seongje cursed, startled as he turned his head to look back. "What the fuck?"

Baekjin rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen. Just as predicted.

"How long were you standing there?" Seongje said, getting off the couch and following him.

Baekjin ignored his question and instead said, "I'm regretting letting you live here." He poured a glass of water and gulped it down while Seongje leaned against the counter beside him, laughing.

"Even the fucking around part?" Seongje flashed his teeth, raising his brows.

Baekjin almost choked on the water, turning away as he coughed. Seongje chuckled behind him. "Shut up." He turned around to glare at him and put the bottle away.

"Order us some food." Baekjin said, walking to the living room.

"It's 9 pm, who do you think is gonna deliver the food?"

"Then get it yourself." Baekjin sat down, taking his phone out.

Seongje snorted, plopping down next to him. "Yes, your royal fucking highness." He took out his phone and scrolled through a food delivery app. "What do you want? Actually, since I'm ordering, I should get to choose." He said before Baekjin could answer.

He put his phone down after he was done and tilted his head to Baekjin. Baekjin was still on phone, texting someone. Seongje nudged his knee with his own. He didn't look up. "You got a secret girlfriend behind my back? I'm hurt." He said with a mock pout.

That made Baekjin glance up. He saw the way Seongje was so obviously peering at his phone and explained, "The person owes me money."

"How much?"

"$4000."

"Damn. Can I get a share?" Seongje chortled, half-joking half-serious.

Baekjin looked at him like he was crazy.

Seongje rolled his eyes, "Worth a try." He mumbled, glancing back at the TV and scrolling through the channels.

Baekjin sighed through his nose. "Do you need it?"

Seongje paused. Glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and grinned. "Well I was hoping to buy this—"

"Do you need it?" Baekjin repeated the question calmly.

Seongje huffed, his thumb clicking a button repeatedly before it stopped. "I have enough to pay this month's rent."

"Then you don't need it right now."

Seongje sulked. "Okay, mom."

Baekjin stared at him silently.

"What?" Seongje asked, annoyed. He turned his head to look at Baekjin.

"You should get a job."

Seongje laughed. "I can just go to my mom's and beg her for money."

"You haven't talked to her in weeks."

"Believe it or not, she's desperate for someone to love her."

Baekjin stood up as the door bell rang. He opened the door, retrieved the delivery, and paid for it. He set the bags down on the dining table. Seongje stood up and got in the chair oppostie Baekjin's after putting on a reality show.

As they ate, Baekjin spoke up, "They're hiring at the convenience store down the road."

"Fuck, why do you want me to get a job so bad?" Seongje chuckled, putting a piece of kimchi in his mouth.

Baekjin opened his mouth and closed it. Wasn't it obvious? He needed to get his shit together and find something to do after school other than just gaming and the occasional fights he was still getting into. He wasn't going to study. What will he do after he finishes this last year of school? It bothered Baekjin that Seongje wasn't thinking the same. He wasn't sure how to say it, so he said, "To earn money."

Seongje cackled. "I know that, you moron, I meant why now? I know I don't want to study after school, but I don't know." He shrugged.

"You can't ask your mom for money."

"She has plenty. She can give me some." Seongje argued.

Baekjin chewed quietly and swallowed before speaking, "Just because she can doesn't she will." He said.

"Maybe let me handle it, mhmm?" Seongje took a piece of bulgogi out of Baekjin's container.

Baekjin didn't know what Seongje was expecting to happen if he asked his mom for money, but based on what had happened in the past few weeks, it was fair to assume that she wouldn't. They didn't have a good relationship to begin with. Besides, she would say the same thing: that Seongje needed to get a job.

—oo—

Seongje went to his mom's the following weekend. Baekjin hadn't bothered to go along with him knowing he'd probably tell him no anyway.

While he was gone, however, Baekjin studied in his room in the peaceful quiet.

It was raining outside, the water droplets making gentle pattering noise against the window. Baekjin couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so at peace in his own apartment.

When his alarm clock went off after 25 minutes, he glanced up to see it was almost lunchtime. He hadn't had the time to buy groceries this week, so when he walked to the kitchen, he decided to keep it simple and make bibimbap. He stored away the leftovers just in case Seongje came home and was hungry.

After he was done eating, he went back to studying. Just as he sat down, the front door opened. He sighed. Well, he enjoyed the peace as long as it lasted.

Seongje came in and lay down on his bed. Baekjin glanced at him. Didn't say anything. Seongje didn't either.

For a long time.

And Baekjin, despite telling himself not to, felt just a tad bit worried that he was right about his prediction. He heard Seongje sigh. "She said no."

"Not before we had an argument, of course. Crying and shit. The whole thing."

Baekjin turned his head to look at him. He wasn't smiling or had on any other emotion written on his face. His expression far. Too far for Baekjin's liking. He called his name once. Twice. Got up and sat down beside him. Seongje still didn't move his gaze away from the ceiling. Baekjin reached out a hand to tap his cheek lightly. "Seongje." He said.

Seongje finally looked away and at Bekjin. He chuckled, pushing away Baekjin's hand as he sat up against the wall. "What?"

Baekjin blinked. What just happened? Did Seongje space out so much that he couldn't hear Baekjin calling his name?

"You spaced out." Baekjin said cautiously. Seongje never spaced out. If anything, Baekjin was the one of out the two of them that tended to do that.

Seongje smirked slightly. "I didn't get enough sleep last night. I'm turning into a zombie."

Baekjin stared at him and then turned his back to him. Of course he was joking about it. It must be nothing then. They stayed silent for a moment.

"I'll get a job." Seongje said after a moment.

Baekjin glanced at him.

Seongje rose a brow. "What?"

"Good." Baekjin said, standing up. He went around the bed and sat down at his desk.

"It's the weekend. Can you not study for a minute?" Seongje questioned, puffing.

Baekjin opened a textbook. "Can you study for at least a minute?" He said back pettily.

Seongje smiled. "Can you be my tutor? Maybe then I will." He winked.

—xx—

The tips of Baekjin's reddened ever so slightly one could glaze over it. Not Seongje. "Does it turn you on? The thought of teaching me how to solve an equation?" He licked his lip, grin widening.

The blush spread to Baekjin's neck as his eyes widened in mortified disbelief. He scoffed. "You're ridiculous." He muttered, shifting in his chair as his cock half hardened.

"So it does." Seongje said slowly, laying down on his back again.

Baekjin glanced at him. Saw the way lust pooled in Seongje's hooded eyes. Felt his pants tighten with want.

Seongje kept eye contact as he chuckled and arched his back, hand reaching his pants to touch his clothed cock. Baekjin's eyes darkened almost immediately like he'd hoped. "Should I list history facts? Tell me."

Baekjin was climbing on top of him the next second, pinning both of his arms above his head. Seongje bit his lip, stifling a laugh. "What's so funny?" Baekjin asked as his cock brushed down against Seongje's. He swallowed a moan.

"How you never let me touch myself in front of you."

Baekjin snorted and leaned down to suck a harsh kiss into Seongje's mouth. Seongje groaned as Baekjin pushed his tongue inside and held his jaw in place as he swirled it around. The kiss took Seongje's breath away once Baekjin pulled back and nibbled on his bottom lip. "I don't think you can." Baekjin murmured, burying his face in Seongje's neck to mark a certain spot he always did.

"Can't what? Touch myself?" Seongje angled his head to the right.

"List history facts." Baekjin corrected, tongue swiping out to soothe the hickey he just made.

Seongje laughed and pried his arms away from Baekjin's grip, switching their positions and straddling him. "I forget how much of an arrogant bastard you are sometimes." He tugged Baekjin's shirt off. Kissed down his neck before biting down on one of his nipples.

Baekjin moaned, leaning up against Seongje's wet lips. "Am I wrong?" He breathed.

Seongje's mouth vibrated against his chest in a laugh. "Of course not. How could the great Na Baekjin ever be wrong?" Seongje said, taking Baekjin out of his pants and giving him a slow stroke, thumb pressing down on his head that was already wet with precome. It spurted out more when Seongje brushed over it. Baekjin gasped quietly, fists clenching the sheets.

Seongje hovered over him again. "Pick a century." He whispered, setting an agonizingly slow pace as he sucked on Baekjin's collarbone.

Baekjin's mind was already hazy with desire. He tried to process what Seongje was saying. "What?"

"Pick a century and I'll tell you a history fact about it." Seongje explained, teeth grazing up the side of Baekjin's neck as he let his cock almost slip out of his fist, strokes coming to a halt.

Baekjin smirked despite the loss of Seongje's hand on his cock, opening his eyes to look up at Seongje. "Are you sure? Remebering things was never your strong suit."

Seongje shook his head with a chuckle. "So cocky. Running your mouth even though you're under me. Just pick a fucking century." He said, completely stopping his hand stroking Baekjin's and running it up his torso, the precome glistening on Baekjin's smooth skin. Baekjin glanced down at it, his breath coming out in short pants.

"The 17th century." Baekjin replied, bucking his hips up to grind against Seongje.

Seongje raised a brow. Thought for a second. The second turned into a minute.

A smug expression turned Baekjin's lips slightly upwards. Seongje wiped it off a moment later as he said, "Qing dynasty invaded Joseon dynasty twice."

Baekjin's face morphed into unmistakable bewilderment. Caught off guard. Seongje grinned, trailed his hand back down and squeezed Baekjin's cock firmly. Baekjin huffed out a sigh. "Didn't expect that, did you?" Seongje chuckled, ducking his head to lick the cum stripe off of Baekjin's stomach.

Baekjin hummed, feeling slightly impressed as he watched Seongje's tongue him clean. He couldn't let Seongje have the upper hand in surprising him though. "I'm proud of you." He retaliated, lifting his hips to let Seongje take his pants off. His jaw clenched as he felt a jolt inside him at the sincerity behind his words. They weren't meant to come out as genuine as they did and somehow the mocking tone wasn't there at all.

Seongje paused at the bottom and looked up at him with his eyes widened, goosebumps rising on his skin. He gulped, eyes flicking with confusion. Utter shock. A hint of vulnerability appearing before going away. Chest tightening in a way that made it harder for him to breathe. He stared into Baekjin's eyes, trying to find the usual taunting in his eyes and seeing none. He glanced down and then up at him again, the uncomfortable warmth persisting inside his chest.

Baekjin's gaze didn't flater from Seongje's, observing the way different emotions flashed in Seongje's eyes and then disappeared. And then a laugh followed, shaky and slightly high pitched. "Really? You're proud of me?" He asked in disblief, tone mocking as if he didn't believe Baekjin, nails dragging up the sides of Baekjin's torso lightly, eyes avoiding Baekjin's as he looked at his hands.

Baekjin swiped his tongue out to wet his dry lips. He tugged at Seongje's hair, brought his lips close to his and kissed him. His hands wrapped around Seongje's waist and shifted him on to his back, pressing down on him with his body weight. He chose to ignore the obvious emotional impact his words had on both himself and Seongje and instead focused on the physical part of it, "Does it turn on you? To be praised?"

Seongje grinned, shaking his head as he met Baekjin's gaze again. "You think being praised by you is a turn on? Don't make me laugh."

Baekjin doesn't falter. His hypothetical only strengthened if anything. He raised a quiet brow, hand stretching down between them and running it over Seongje's erected cock. "I do." He affirmed, grazing his fingers over the fabric of Seongje's jeans.

Seongje's grin fell off, a moan forcing its way out of his throat as he arched his back into Baekjin's touch. "How does it feel to be wrong for once in your life?" He threw back. Relentless.

They'd played this game before. Same rules. Same nature. They could play it again.

Baekjin hummed faintly, unbuttoning Seongje's pants. He shifted on his knees and took them off, throwing them on the floor. His hand slipped under Seongje's boxers and drew his cock out. "I think you'd know that better than me. Denial and everything." Baekjin tilted his head a little to the right as he kept eye contact, hand moving in lazy strokes. More precome spurted out of Seongje's cock, and he swiped a thumb over his tip.

Seongje bit his lip, head pushing back against the pillow as he panted out a choked chuckle. "I don't have a praise kink."

"I never said that."

"Then what are you saying?" Seongje's eyes flared up at Baekjin.

"I'm saying your body reacted to my praise in a way that even you didn't expect."

"Fuck you."

"You're proving my point." Baekjin said, teeth picking on Seongje's Adam's Apple. Seongje moaned, pulled at Baekjin's hair roughly, eliciting the same sound from him.

Seongje didn't say anything else. Felt humiliation for letting Baekjin have the upper hand. Felt fury mix with the pleasure from being so easily readable.

He threw a hand over his eyes, brought his other hand away from Baekjin's hair and to his side. Didn't push away Baekjin's hands despite the emotional impact. "At least I don't like being thrown around." He said, defiantly. A last resort to gaining control.

Baekjin sped up his strokes. Brushed light kisses on his nipples before biting down on them. Felt one corner of Baekjin's mouth turn upwards against his stomach as he sucked on the supple skin. His hand went faster, bringing Seongje closer to release. "Are you deflecting?"

Seongje laughed tightly, thrusting up into Baekjin's fist. "No, just pointing out your physical reactions to being thrown around."

Baekjin hummed, not believing him. His lips stopped until it was in front of Seongje's cock, taking his hand off and wrapping his mouth around it, deepthroating him at once.

Seongje gasped, back fully lifting off the mattress, hand immediately burrowing in Baekjin's hair as he bucked his hips into his mouth. Seongje cursed, "Fuck. I'm so close—" Baekjin made eye contact with him and pulled back just as Seongje was about to come.

"Come into my mouth." Baekjin commanded and took all of Seongje inside his mouth again.

Seongje's brain went blank for a second before processing the words. His mouth let out a choked cry as Baekjin granted him long, fast strokes. He came in Baekjin's mouth the next second, a loud moan that resounded in the room. "Fuck! What the fuck—"

Baekjin swallowed Seongje's come, tasting the saltiness slide down his throat in steadfast spouts. He pulled back to look up at Seongje. "So good for me." He mumbled, licking his lips.

Seongje's mouth gaped wide in another silent sound, more come dripping out of his cock, eyes shutting. Baekjin leaned down and licked the head, watching as come dripped down his cock.

Seongje's back hit the bed again, soaked with sweat. He breathed in and out, swallowing. Felt Baekjin shuffle and lay down beside him. The slight air swift made him dig his nails into his palm, his cock unbelievably sensitive after coming twice in a row.

He moved slightly to his left as their bodies pressed together. Seongje's body felt beyond exhausted, limbs too heavy to move. His breathing slowed down to a normal rhythm as sleep took over.

—xx—

While Seongje was asleep, Baekjin went to the shower and jerked himself off to release, picturing the way Seongje's face looked when he came the second time. He released with a shudder.

Once out of the shower, he made his way back to his desk and sat down to study. He glanced sideways, saw Seongje sleeping on his side, the blanket thrown at the end of the bed. He probably wasn't cold.

Baekjin focused on the textbook in front of him. He heard Seongje shuffle, an arm wrapping around himself. Baekjin sighed, took the blanket, and laid it on him.

There. Now he could study in peace.

Two hours later, Seongje stirred on the bed, the sky darkening outside. One of his eyes peeked open and saw Baekjin studying intensely. He remembered what had happened earlier and turned his face away, burying it in the pillow. Fuck. That was embarrassing. Coming twice just from Baekjin's words. As if he needed a reminder of the impact Baekjin had on him. Whatever. Not happening again. Ever.

He looked at the blanket on his body. It wasn't there when he'd dozed off. Did Baekjin?— No, Seongje probably put it on while he was sleeping. He sighed and sat up.

Baekjin didn't glance up from the book he was reading. He was likely internally enjoying the way he'd had Seongje come undone by just using his words.

Seongje got up and took a shower. While scrubbing away the remnants of the earlier event, he thought back to what Baekjin had said. 'I'm proud of you'. He knew he was doubtlessly imagining the sincerity behind it, but something told him Baekjin hadn't exactly said them with the usual sarcasm. That the words held more weight than either of them was willing to admit. He ignored the twinge of hope that maybe they were genuine.

That couldn't be possible, though. It was nothing. Empty words.

Chapter Text

During the next two weeks, Seongje tried to find a job that he wouldn't hate with all his being. It ended up being the registrar at one of the Internet cafes he went to. The owner was nice enough to hire him since Seongje was a frequent customer there.

He'd gone home all excited to tell Baekjin about it and maybe even rub it in his face a little. When he entered the apartment, though, Baekjin was nowhere to be found in the living room. He checked their bedroom and saw Baekjin hunched over his school work. He rolled his eyes.

Baekjin had agreed on staying home today to self-study, but he didn't let anyone or anything come into his room at all. It was annoying. He sauntered over to where he was sitting and leaned down. "I have good news." He whispered in Baekjin's ears.

Baekjin flinched, covering his ears as if a bug threatened to fly in at any moment. He frowned, turning his head to look at Seongje.

Seongje opened his mouth, but Baekjin beat him to it. "Not right now." He said, turning back to his desk.

Seongje chuckled. "It'll take like a second."

Baekjin ignored him. "Get out and close the door. I'm studying for a test."

"Yeah, yeah. So the good news is—"

Baekjin stood up suddenly, looking at him with a blank expression. "Can you not bother me for once? This is why I didn't want to stay home to study. Just because you don't care about your future doesn't mean I don't." He snapped.

Seongje frowned, startled. He chuckled disdainfully, shaking his head in disbelief as he took out a cigarette. "Are you saying I don't have a future?" He lit the white stick.

Baekjin glanced at the cigarette. "Do you think you do?" He asked quietly, eyes narrowed with his jaw tightened. He was genuinely curious to know, because Seongje seemed to not worry at all about what he'll do after school.

Seongje laughed, pushing his cheek out with his tongue. "Right. Because I'm so stupid and below you."

"I didn't say that—"

"But you did. You implied it. You know, I'm realizing I might be just at fault as you are for keep indulging your narcissitic behavior. So fuck this." Seongje turned furiously on his feet to leave.

"No." Baekjin held his wrist tightly. Not again.

Seongje snatched it away from him, licking his lips as he rotated his body to face Baekjin again. "No? So now I can't go anywhere without your permission?"

"You're not stupid." Baekjin stared at him. "Not to the extent that you think you are anyway." He added quietly.

Seongje inhaled a long drag. "Yeah? Enlighten me, please."

Baekjin breathed out through his nose. Glanced away from Seongje and to the floor. "Why don't you care about your future?"

Seongje gritted his teeth. What the fuck was he on about. "I do."

"Getting into fights isn't caring." Baekjin rebutted, meeting Seongje's eyes again.

"You act like you didn't do the same."

"I did. While also…" Baekjin trailed off. Took a moment to think and then turned away and sat back on his desk chair.

"While also being an A+ student, yes, we know." Seongje finished his sentence scornfully.

Baekjin gave him tense silence in response, shoulders drawn up to his ears.

Seongje stared at the back of his head in confusion. Where was all of this coming from? Seongje's future? Fighting? What exactly was he talking about? Was he worried about Seongje— That's absurd. It couldn't be. Why would he care? He had a perfect future to soar forward to. Seongje would probably join another gang and make money that way. But then again, why was Baekjin acting this way?

"Are you worried?" Seongje asked outright, leaning back against the wall as he took another drag.

Baekjin's back stiffened. His hand holding a pen paused on the paper. "Do what you want." He said after a beat, resuming his writing.

So he was.

Seongje smiled to himself, licking his lips as he finished the cigarette and strolled to throw it away in the dust bin just beside Baekjin's desk. He leaned his arms on the edge of it, head turned to Baekjin, his gaze observing the stoic expression on Baekjin's face as he stopped writing. "I got a job."

Baekjin glanced up at him as if to confirm. Seongje nodded in return. Baekjin sighed, closing the notebook in front of him and capping the pen shut.

Seongje took that as a cue for him to continue. "At one of the internet cafes I go to regularly."

"I know what you're thinking. That I'm just gonna end up gaming there instead of working. " Seongje said, reading Baekjin's mind. "But I'm not. They have a policy that prevents me from leaving the desk alone unless someone takes my place." He rolled his eyes.

Baekjin nodded. "When do you start?"

"Tomorrow."

"What time?" Baekjin turned his head upwards to look at Seongje.

Seongje grinned with his teeth. "Whenever I want to."

Baekjin's eyebrows frowned slightly.

"I'm joking. It's from 4 to 8." Seongje sighed dramatically, turning to step towards his bed and lay down.

"Okay." Baekjin replied. "Good." He said, turning in his chair to face Seongje.

Seongje hummed, bending an arm behind his head. He scanned Baekjin up and down. "You might not be as narcissistic as you seem, after all."

Baekjin threw a pencil at him. Seongje threw a pillow back, laughing when it landed on Baekjin's face.

—oo—

Since Seongje had started his job, Baekjin had took to self-studying at home after two hours at the cram school. He'd come home around 7 and either text or get a text from Seongje about what they were having for dinner. Most of the time, it ended up being take-out because Baekjin didn't have the energy to make anything, and Seongje couldn't cut things for shit.

The routine was sustainable, they both realized. Comforting in many ways. Baekjin found himself looking forward to when Seongje would come home after the few hours of deafeaning silence he'd have to sit through. It was good for studying, but it was awfully unsettling other times. The fact that Baekjin had gotten so used to having Seongje around slightly concerned him. But not in the bad way. It just made him rethink of their conversation few weeks ago about Seongje's future.

Baekjin would be found dead before he admitted that he was worried for Seongje's future—he was glad Seongje didn't make him spell it out that day. Somewhere along the way, Seongje's future had started concerning his own. What would happen after they finished school? They'd obviously get separated. Baekjin would ideally go to a university to continue his studies. He wasn't yet sure what major he would do, but he knew deep down it would most likely be business. That felt most like him. And he had some experience beforehand that could help him. As for Seongje…he had no idea. They never really talked about it at length, what with Seongje always joking. 'Might become a strip dancer, heard that pays good.' As if. Baekjin woudn't let him go down that path, even if it wasn't his place to decide. Baekjin doesn't ever plan to say it to Seongje, but he had so much unexplored potential in him. Before he'd joined the union, he was at the top of his class. And then, it all went downhill. Baekjin wondered if it was his fault. Or even if his family had something to do with it. There was no point in dwelling on it now, however.

Since Seongje was adamant about either joining a gang or creating his own after school was over, Baekjin considered if him becoming a professional boxer or something along the same lines might be a good idea.

Seongje's footsteps echoed through the apartment, and Baekjin looked away from the TV and to his left. Seongje placed take-out bags on the coffee table, settling down beside Baekjin, grunting. "Fuck. It's so hot outside." He grumbled.

Baekjin nudged him. "Go shower first." He said, as Seongje's hands picked at the plastic bags.

"I'll wash my hands." Seongje negotiated, getting up and going to the kitchen.

Baekjin sighed. He took the containers out along with two sets of chopsticks. The couch dipped as Seongje sat back down next to him, thighs pressed closely together. He reached for the remote control and changed the discovery channel to a movie streaming one. "Why do you like watching animals?"

"It's fascinating." Baekjin said, taking a bite of his food. "Like watching you in your natural habitat." He added under his breath.

Seongje stared at him as he chewed and then chuckled with his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Fuck off." He shoved Baekjin gently.

Baekjin hid his smile behind a piece of kimchi.

—oo—

Seongje slumped on Baekjin's heaving body, his own breathing heavy. "Fuck, that was—" He sighed, leaning his forhead on Baekjin's collarbone. He shifted off of him after a second.

"Something." Baekjin said, swallowing, his forehead sweaty. Another experiment that proved to be more of a success than he would have expected.

Seongje glanced at the ice cream on the nighstand betweent their beds. "It tasted toally different combined with your…"

Baekjin looked at him in time to see him nodding to Baekjin's torso. He rolled his eyes, cheeks flushing. "Shut up." He said, turning on his side. Seongje snorted quietly, inserting his foot between Baekjin's legs. Baekjin didn't move, his back rising up and down in steady breaths. Seongje called out his name. No response.

He stared at him for a long time before sleep took over his eyes as well.

—oo—

"You monster, there are hickeys all over my neck." Seongje complained, walking out of the bathroom, fresh from the shower.

Baekjin looked up as he prepared fried eggs for breakfast. "You do the same to me." He mumbled, rolling his eyes. He regarded the hickeys for a second and suppressed a smirk, turning away.

Seongje's mouth opened in defense, "I don't mark you all over your neck. You mark the same spots every time."

"Put on a turtleneck."

"Unlike you, a freak, I can't handle wearing those in the fucking summer." Seongje said, coming to a halt in front of the gas stove. His stomach growled at the sight.

Baekjin pushed him aside, turned off the stove, and took the pan to transfer the eggs onto two different plates. "That's your problem."

Seongje grabbed their plates and brought them to the dining table, scoffing. "Oh it's my problem that you're leaving ungodly amount of hickeys?"

"It's your problem that you won't wear a turtleneck."

"Yeah, because I'm not a psychopath." Seongje huffed, going back to the kitchen to get them two bowls of rice.

Baekjin took one of the offered bowls from Seongje and dug in his food. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked, knowing the answer. He was getting a kick out of it too much to not say it.

Seongje glared at him as he ate. His foot kicked Baekjin's under the table. Baekjin returned the action just as lightly. "Is that a yes or a no?" He glanced up, taking a mouthful of food to conceal his amusement.

Seongje narrowed his eyes. "Why do you always give me so many hickeys on my neck? For others to see?" He asked, turning the tables on Baekjin with a smug expression.

Baekjin raised a silent brow as he took a sip of his milk. He almost spiraled into a coughing fit. "Is that why you think I do it?" He threw back.

"Don't play mind games with me."

"You love them."

Seongje rolled his eyes, nudging his foot between Baekjin's legs. "You keep dodging my questions."

"I don't do it for others to see." Baekjin responded calmly. "I do it for myself to see."

Seongje gaped, flushing.

—oo—

Three months had passed since they'd started school again. The air was shifting from hot to a little more chilly. Not enough to draw goosebumps on skin but enough to want to just stay outside for a little more. Autumn had the perfect combination of warm and cold. It was Seongje's favorite season.

Halloween was nearing, and he couldn't help but wonder if this would be a perfect time to prank Baekjin.

When he brought up the topic of halloween, Baekjin barely blinked. Instead he said, "Mid-terms are coming soon."

Seongje groaned loudly, "Do you have a phobia of fun?"

Baekjin glanced up then with a deadpan expression. "I've never celebrated halloween." He told Seongje, looking back down.

Seonjge moved a little closer to him on the couch. "This can be your first halloween. With me. Mhmm?"

Baekjin felt his breath fan over his neck. He tensed just the slightest bit at Seongje's words. He hadn't celebrated a single holiday since he'd left the orphanage. Hadn't had the time to or a person who'd force him to. When he was a kid, Humin would often come over and force him to participate in the events—Baekjin would pretend to not like them but he loved them deep down. As an almost adult, however, he wasn't sure if celebrating a holiday was even worth it if he could use that time to do something better. Like studying. But then, Seongje was here. By his side. Wanting to celebrate with him.

They both didn't have anyone else to celebrate with. It would be their first holiday together. As friends.

Baekjin thought it over for more than five minutes, and Seongje was really getting impatient. He rolled his eyes, "If you—"

"I'll think about it." Baekjin said, eyes still trained on his notes.

Seongje paused just as he was getting his phone from the coffee table. "You'll think about it?"

"Yes." He'll probably have to make up for the study sessions before or after the event. But that could be manageable.

Seongje grinned.

—oo—

Halloween was two weeks away, yet Seongje insisted on buying them costumes this weekend. Baekjin tried to say no, but Seongje was so excited, he gave in eventually.

They went to a small shop located a 20 minute walk away from their apartment. There were people in there, trying on costumes, props, and other things that made Baekjin grimace in discomfort. Seongje laughed beside him. "I don't think you need a costume. Your face is enough to scare people."

Baekjin glared at him. "You're talking."

Seongje pressed his lips to stop a chuckle, turning away. "That's not nice, Baekjinie."

Baekjin snorted.

They looked at costumed ranging from the disney characters to more flashy ones like the superheroes. There were also villainous ones like IT, Michael Myers, and candyman. Seongje didn't like any of them even though they'd been at the store for over half an hour. Baekjin was getting tired of indulging him. "I'm going home." He said, turning away.

"Wait." Seonjge tugged at his wrist and brought him back. "How about batman and joker? I'll be joker."

"Who?"

Seongje gave him a death stare. "You don't know who they are? Of course you don't. How about—"

"How about I dress up as myself? And you can dress up as whatever you want." Baekjin suggested with an eyebrow raised.

Seongje frowned. "No. We have to match."

"Why?" Baekjin questioned.

"Because…we're going together." Seongje explained, grinning.

Baekjin didn't know what the rules of going to halloween parties were, but that couldn't be it, surely.

"And yourself? Really? I'm not letting you dress up as yourself. I get enough of that everyday. Let me have this."

Baekjin sighed heavily. "What do you want? I don't want any part taking in your clownery."

Seongje shook his head as if regretting his decision. "Okay, how about I dress up as goblin and you can be the grim reaper?"

"How do they match?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

Baekjin stood speechless, frowning. He cleared his throat, glancing away. "Okay. Hurry up."

The day of halloween, they showed up to a nearby event that had a haunting house on one side and party going on on the other. The amount of people crowding the space was overwhelming that Baekjin almost ditched Seongje at the entrance. Seongje kept his eyes on him though. Making sure he doesn't run away.

When they left the apartment, Baekjin had told Seongje they wouldn't stay past 10:00 pm. Seongje had given him an unamused stare and reminded him it was called halloween for a reason. 'It's a nightly event'. In the end, Baekjin couldn't deny his stupid logic and decided they would come home at 11:00 pm, no more.

Seongje led him inside the haunting house. He was dressed like a goblin and more like a detective, wearing a black coat with a hat on his head. Baekjin himself was wearing what a grim reaper looked like than Seongje was. "That's not how goblins look like." He told him as they strolled inside.

A man dressed in a black jump suit with a white mask on his face came out suddenly from the shadows, a knife in his raised hand. Baekjin blinked. Seongje laughed. "Ohh, I'm scared." He said, surrendering. The man pretended to hit Seongje with the knife, and Seongje took the knife from him, doing the same action.

The man yelled at him, "What the fuck?!" And took the knife back.

Seongje turned to Baekjin and gave him a grin. "I'm dressed like the goblin from the show. Not an actual goblin."

'What show' Baekjin wanted to ask, but knew it would be futile.

The rest of their time there, Baekjin was awfully bored. And Seongje was entertained. In fact, he was scaring the other people in the haunting house than getting scared. But Baekjin knew he had a good time and stayed quietly by his side.

—xx—

Seongje couldn't pinpoint the moment their banter had turned from jabbing and insulting to somewhat flirty and joking. But it was doing things unspeakable to him. One moment they were arguing about the best snack and the next they were making out. Or that time when Baekjin couldn't stop correcting Seongje about the different kinds of planets while they watched a science documentary that Seongje had to get in his lap and shut him up by kissing him. "You're sexy when you spit facts, but this is supposed to be fun as you told me." He'd said to him, and Baekjin had nodded silently while a blush had crept down to his neck.

Whenever the light banter started between them, they'd try to see who would blush first. It was another game that Baekjin often ended up winning. Sometimes though, Seongje might make him blush twice in a row, and those days he'd tease Baekjin relentlessly until they were in bed. The rarity of them made the victories all the more sweeter.

"Are you blushing, Na Baekjin?" Seongje asked as he kissed his neck and bit down, sucking a hickey.

Baekjin panted beneath him, arms wrapped around Seongje's waist. "It's from all the activity."

"Mhmm and not the fact that I called you pretty?"

Baekjin swallowed. Remembered Seongje could feel it as his lips moved to latch on his Adam's apple. His eyes stared at the ceiling. "No." He whispered.

A lie. Seongje could probably tell.

Seongje hummed, nipping at the spot before his teeth found another patch of skin to focus on. One of his hands rolled Baekjin's nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Baekjin breathed out.

"And what activity? I haven't even touched you yet." Seongje chuckled, grazing his thumb over the sensitivie skin.

Baekjin leaned up into it, face turned to the side on his pillow. "It's hot in here."

"Just admit you blushed because I called you pretty." Seongje said, fitting his palm to Baekjin's jaw and moving his face to meet his gaze.

Baekjin looked at him. "No."

"So you're in denial."

"I'm speaking the truth."

"You made an excuse and when I countered it, you made another. So you weren't speaking the truth to begin with." Seongje explained.

Baekjin looked at him in stunned silence. Clearly, Seongje knew him way too well to give him a test of his own medicine: logic. It made his cock twitch in his boxers, and his hand itched to take himself out. He licked his lips. Saw Seongje grin and lean down to kiss him. He kissed him back, pressed his hips up to meet Seongje's and get any kind of friction he could. Seongje's hand reached down to push his back on to the mattress. "Say it."

"Say what?"

"You blushed because I called you pretty." Seongje mumured, ducking his head down to kiss between Baekjin's chest and lower. "I'm not touching you until then." He said, glancing down at Baekjin's boxers.

Baekjin licked his lips. "Why does it matter?"

"Do you have to know the 'why' of everything?"

"Yes."

Seongje brushed a feather light kiss over his waist. "Because I want to know if my words have an impact on you."

"They do." Baekjin confessed. More than he'd ever imagined.

"So you admit it?"

"Yes." Baekjin gave in to the faint tender kisses, sighing. He felt Seongje smile against his skin, placing another soft open mouthed kiss.

"You're so pretty." Seongje whispers, throwing Baekjin a smug glance as his mouth reached closer to where Baekjin wanted him.

Goosebumps rose all over Baekjin's skin just from the words.

Chapter Text

During a three-day weekend from school, Baekjin woke up at around 10 in the morning in his bed, shivering slightly. He turned away from the wall, bringing the blankets closer to his body. He glanced at Seongje sleeping on his stomach, his face relaxed into perfection. He stared the mole beside his eye for some time and then glanced away when Seongje shifted in his sleep.

He got up and took a brief shower. Since he had an extra day off today, he decided to make use of it and go to the orphanage, albeit with less donation but he wanted to visit the place. See Ms. Yoon.

He prepared some rice and ate it with the leftover soup from last night. When he was about to leave, he paused. Seongje would most likely wonder where he'd gone off to. He could send him a text. But knowing him, he probably wouldn't check it until days after. He shook off his shoes and went back inside the apartment. He contemplated on what to write down on the little sticky note on his desk. He couldn't tell him he went to the orphanage on a daily basis. Felt that it was a too private part of himself to expose. He wrote down. 'Going to the grocery store' and then as if Seongje wouldn't know who it was from he added '-Na Baekjin' to the end of the note. He decided where the most obvious place would be so Seongje wouldn't "accidentally" not see it and blame Baekjin for it.

And then he glanced at the sleeping form of Seongje and stepped forward until he was in front of the bed. He leaned down and stuck it to Seongje's forehead. Now, he can't make any excuses. Baekjin smirked and left.

—oo—

The orphanage had the kids doing morning yoga out in the garden, which as predicted, most of them were failing at and instead laughing at each other's forms. Baekjin watched them for a moment before he asked the instructor where Ms. Yoon was. She smiled and told him she was in her office. He thanked her and made his way there.

He knocked twice before a soft "come in" followed. He walked inside and closed the door. Ms. Yoon looked up from where she was working on a few documents and beamed up at him, adjusting her glasses. "Baekjin-ah! Have a seat." She said, putting some of the files away as she got up and sat down in the chair opposite hers. Baekjin nodded and took a seat on the chair next to hers.

"You haven't been here in so long! How is your arm? I see the cast is off."

"It's been better. Thank you for asking."

"How is school?" She asked, sipping from her coffee cup.

Baekjin looked out the window behind her desk. "Good."

"Mhmm. Did you hear about a gangster being found out not too long? I was so worried when they said some highschoolers were involved in the business."

Baekjin stiffened. Glanced back at her. She didn't seem to have any idea he was one of them. "I did. The police caught him fortunately."

Ms. Yoon nodded furiously. "Stay careful out there though." She said, putting a hand on his arm.

Baekjin nodded. "I will." He took out the envelope from his coat and handed it to her.

She looked at the money. Shook her head, gently pushing the envelope back to Baekjin. "You made a more than efficient donation last time. Keep it. You're going to college next year. Save it for that."

"I have money aside for that. Please. I insist."

Ms. Yoon wasn't listening though. "Not this time. I'll accept it the next time you visit."

Baekjin sighed and set the envelope back in his jacket pocket.

"How is everything else going?"

Baekjin wasn't sure what she meant by 'everything else'. He barely had a social life, but he figured she was talking about his health. "I'm well. How have you been?"

"Oh, I recently went to the doctor and they told me I need to lower my blood pressure and take a break from work. As if!" Ms. Yoon laughed, waving her hand in the air.

"It might be something to consider," Baekjin responded.

She smiled. "Are you worried? Don't be, Jin-ah. This old woman can take care of herself."

Baekjin nodded. "Still."

"You should bring someone by. Your friends or someone close. We're always looking for some help." Ms. Yoon said, solemnly. "Besides, I want to know what you're up to! You're like the son I never had."

Baekjin hesitated for a second. Wondered if he should mention Seongje. Thought better of it. But then again, he couldn't just say he had no friends. That would just make her pity him. Or even worry. He didn't want to induce either of those emotions from her. "I have a friend. He's in the same grade as me."

"Oh! You should invite him to come with you sometimes."

Baekjin nodded.

Someone knocked behind them on the door, and Ms. Yoon got up and let the person in. It was the yoga instructor. "Ms. Yoon— Ah, you have company. I'm sorry to interrupt. I just came to say the kids are ready for breakfast."

Ms. Yoon smiled. "I'll be there."

Baekjin got up and said goodbye to her, even as she tried to say she'll come back in a moment. He told her it was fine and should attend to more important matter and left.

—oo—

Seongje woke up when something kept poking his eyelid. Something sharp. He startled awake and took the thing off his forehead. A sticky note. What the— He rubbed his eyes, yawned and then read the note. 'Going to the grocery store- Na Baekjin'. He rolled his eyes. As if Seongje was going to think some rando wrote the note and left it on his forehand.

He considered throwing it away and then hid it inside his pillow case. As proof, obviously, to show Baekjin he did indeed receive it. He took a good, long shower and made himself some instant ramen for breakfast. Almost brunch, he realized as he saw the clock striking 12 on dot.

As he ate while watching the TV, the front door opened, and Baekjin walked inside. Seongje glanced at him as he walked inside the kitchen to set the groceries down on the kitchen. "Sticking it on my forehead? On my handsome forehead? I can't believe you." He shook his head.

"I put it there so you'd see it." Baekjin sat down beside him, glancing at the ramen bowl.

Seongje grinned. "And you thought even with my glasses, I'd miss it if you put it anywhere other than my forehead?"

Baekjin looked away. "Well." He said.

"You did it to be funny. Didn't you? Got a good laugh?"

Baekjin stared at him. "A little."

"I knew it!" Seongje cackled.

"You're rubbing off on me."

Seongje ran a tongue over his teeth and checked him out with a toothy smile. "Quite literally."

Baekjin sighed. It was right there. How could he have not seen it?

—xx—

The nights were getting shorter as winter started to peek at the edges of the sky, sipping into the air and making it colder.

It was getting harder to wake up in the morning and start the same grueling routine every day. Especially for Seongje.

Baekjin liked waking up on time and getting his workout in before he went to school. But for Seongje, he wouldn't get up until Baekjin was out of the shower and fixing the breakfast. Seongje still skipped some days and just slept in. Baekjin didn't know why the school hadn't just told him to stop coming in already.

Seongje told him he'd drop out the moment he turned 18 next year. Baekjin wasn't so sure he would. He loved to bother Baekjin at school too much to do that.

Their relationship hadn't changed from friends with benefits. It was good. They were both happy with the arrangement as long as hormones went. And it was nice to just…make out sometimes. However, at times he'd notice strange things happen while Seongje was around. Like his heartbeat picking up when Seongje would wrap his arms around him from being. Or the fact that Seongje liked talking while they were engaged in some sexual act or another with things that went beyond just the usual teasing. That Baekjin had let go to his head. He mostly paid it no mind. There wasn't anything to worry about. They'd agreed on no feelings and they'd stick to it. Both of them. Baekjin more so.

The less and less they were around each other(and had little to no physical contact) due to circumstances caused Baekjin to crave Seongje's attention all the more. And he couldn't understand why. Had he really gotten so used to having Seongje's keen focus on him all the time? Fuck, he really needed to start practicing the violin again. Or perhaps just bury himself deeper into his studies.

After lunch, he'd shut the door behind him and sat down at his desk. He was able to focus for 5 minutes then 10 and then half an hour before the said focus was shattered by Seongje's yelling while he played video games with his online friends.

Seongje. Seongje. Seongje.

Stop.

Refocus.

He got up and splashed his face with cold water in the bathroom. Came out. Paced around the room. Maybe it was just the sexual pent up energy that was driving him over the edge. Maybe he could just jerk off quietly and get back to work. But then again…he hadn't came without Seongje touching him in, well, forever. No. He could it by himself. He'd done it before. It wasn't anything new. There weren't any rules to their agreement that prevented one of them from releasing themself. Then why was he not able to do it? Why was he hesitating to touch himself? He sighed. Closed his eyes and did a breathing exercise.

Seongje cheered outside. Him and his fucking friends. Even when they had time together, Seongje was too fucking busy playing games with his friends than having a conversation with Baekjin. It made him inexplicably angry. He sat down again. Looked at the small clock on his desk. Tried to ground himself. Seongje's voice pierced right through it from the living room, and he clenched his jaw.

He opened his bedroom and went to the kitchen. Poured himself a glass of milk while he eyed Seongje in the living room. The milk finished heating in the microwave, beeping three times before going silent. He ignored the glass after taking it out and sat down right next to Seongje, thighs pressed. Seongje didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary and continued cursing at whatever he was doing in the game.

Baekjin stared at the TV. He called for him once. Twice. Nudged him. Seongje hummed, "What?" He replied, adjusting his microphone back in front of his mouth without looking at him.

Baekjin said, "Let's go out."

"Fuck—! No! Don't fucking go there!" Seongje hissed. He turned his head to look at Baekjin. "What?"

"Let's go out somewhere."

"It's freezing outside."

"It's 30 degrees Fahrenheit." Baekjin deadpanned.

"I don't have an iron clad body like you." Seongje said, smashing his controller violently. "Fuck!"

Baekjin frowned to himself. Stared at Seongje's profile, trying to telepathically tell him he wanted his attention.

It didn't work.

Baekjin didn't know how else to go on about it other than just spelling it out for Seongje. He licked his lips, "I want you." He said quietly, breath tickling the side of Seongje's neck.

Seongje was in the middle of shooting characters on the game when he paused, feeling Baekjin's warm puff as he spoke. The people on his headphones seemed to have heard it as well, oohing and aahing. He told them to shut the fuck up and left the game, turning his head to Baekjin with his eyebrows raised and a grin. "What the fuck was that?"

"I want you." Baekjin responded, voice less steady now that Seongje's full attention on him. He didn't think it'd be that easy to get it.

Seongje seemed more affected than he was before now that he had the confirmation. He licked his lips. "Yeah? Couldn't wait until I was done gaming?"

"No." Seongje's eyes darkened, heat stirring in his gut.

"Then have me."

That's where Baekjin faltered, face heating up. His gaze drew to his lap. Why his confidence suddenly reduced, he couldn't pinpoint. Perhaps it was the way Seongje was looking at him with the hunger in his eyes and with the intention of having Baekjin as the spot light of his attention. He was about to look up when he heard a chuckle. "Are you shy now? I thought you wanted me." Seongje said, facing forward and putting his headphones on again.

Baekjin held his wrist from getting his hands on the controller. "I do."

Seongje glanced at Baekjin's hand on his wrist and then at his face. He smiled with his teeth. "Then show me."

"What?"

"Show me how much you want me." Seongje tilted his head, another challenge brewing in his eyes.

Baekjin didn't want to fall for it again. Too tired to even think straight. He just wanted Seongje to shut the fuck up and touch him. He gritted his teeth, staring back at Seongje. The bastard had the nerve to get a kick out of this.

Seongje smiled in sadistic amusement. "No? Okay." He nodded, taking the controller back in his hands and clicking a few buttons to start a new game on the TV. He was enjoying the situation a bit too much to give Baekjin a little mercy. His own pants tightened the moment Baekjin told him he wanted him.

Baekjin threw daggers at the back of Seongje's head as he watched him lean forward on his knees. His hands balled into fists on his thighs. He closed his eyes. Stood up. He heard a low laugh beside him as Seongje continued to stare at the TV. He knew better than to believe the laugh was related to anything other than him.

Fine.

He reached over for the remote control and turned off the TV. Seongje raised his eyebrows as Baekjin turned to him. His controller was snatched next and thrown away on the coffee table. Seongje frowned in irritation. "That costs more than—" His headphones get casted off to the same place before Baekjin got on his lap and straddled him, pushing his shoulder back onto the couch. "Fuck." He moaned, as he felt how hard Baekjin was on top of him.

Baekjin pulled him into a rough kiss, hands tugging harshly at Seongje's hair to make his head tilt upwards. Seongje groaned in the kiss, biting down Baekjin's lip and shoving his tongue inside. Baekjin let him lick into his mouth. Seongje's hands squeezed his ass hard, grinding up as Baekjin's hips shifted back and forth. Baekjin panted, leaning his head to the side while Seongje nipped on his pulse.

Seongje shoved his hand between them, palming Baekjin's clothed cock, feeling the soaked fabric. "Look at how wet you are for me." He breathed against Baekjin's neck, dragging his mouth down to his collarbone to mark the same fading hickey he had gave him two weeks ago. Baekjin swllowed, ground into Seongje's palm. Seongje flipped their position and laid Baekjin down on his back on the couch. He got on top of him, kissing him. When Baekjin tried to get him out of his clothes, he chortled, "Impatient much? Hold still." He told him and dragged Baekjin's turtleneck off of him. The pants next. With the underwear. When the cold air hit Baekjin's cock, he shuddered.

Seongje thumbed the tip, looking at it with reverence in his eyes. Baekjin could come alone from that. He reached down to touch himself. Seongje hummed, smiling. "Are you gonnn jerk yourself off? Then why bother me, mhmm?" He asked. Baekjin glared at him in response.

"Fuck you."

"Soon." Seongje laughed and slapped Baekjin's hand away. He wrapped his own around Baekjin's cock and gathered the precome between his fingers. His eyes met Baekjin's as he brought them to his lips. "Open."

Baekjin stared at his come on Seongje's fingers. He offered his mouth agape. Seongje's fingers were warm. "Close." Seongje watched him as he leaned down and placed a kiss on his cock, swirled his tongue to taste the same liquid Baekjin was tasting. Baekjin sucked on them with the tightening in his gut. Closed his eyes as Seongje pushed them until they reached the back of his throat. Took them out. Pushed them inside again. Repeat. "Fuck, should I fuck your mouth like this? Would you like that? Being on your knees as I deepthroat you?"

Baekjin hummed around his fingers in humiliation. In desperation and uncontainable need for release. He needed to get a grip. Later.

Seongje groaned in response. "So hot like this. Are you gonna come from my fingers alone?"

No. Baekjin wanted to be touched. He couldn't.

Seongje's fingers retreated from his mouth, and he almost whined at the loss of the warm weight in his mouth. He opened his eyes to see Seongje bending his knees backwards to his chest. What— Seongje leaned his mouth down to his entrance and laid a wet lick. Glanced up from behind his glasses as his hand wrapped around Baekjin's cock and stroked him in time to meet his tongue prodding at his entrance.

Baekjin curled his toes, letting out a quiet gasp. Seongje set a slow rhythm to both ends, made Baekjin throw a hand over his eyes and tug another in his hair. It stayed like that for sometime. And then, the wetness against his entrance was gone with the hand on his cock. His eyes opened, drunk with desire. Seongje's hand replaced his tongue. Pressed his come soaked thumb down on his entrance. Baekjin arched his back as Seongje's lips wrapped around the head of his cock. "Fuck." He whispered.

"Too much?" Seongje swirled his tongue.

Baekjin wanted to say yes and no at the same time. He shook his head. He clenched around Seongje's thumb as it dig just a tad bit deeper inside him. "More."

Seongje lifted a brow, chuckled around Baekjin's cock. "Yeah?" He asked, pulling back for a second.

Baekjin breathed heavily. "Yes."

Seongje hummed, as his thumb inserted just a little further inside Baekjin.

Baekjin felt pain. He pushed Seongje's head away. Too soon. He breathed in and out. Seongje's hand brushed against the back of his thigh. "Hurts?"

Baekjin nodded, face hidden by his arm. Seongje eyed him for a second, got on top of him, and kissed him. Baekjin kissed back. "Tell me what you want then."

"Touch me."

Seongje nodded, straightened out his legs and stroked him. His head ducked down to bury in Baekjin's neck. Baekjin thrusted up in his fist. Seongje sped up, doing a little flicker with his wrist that had Baekjin crying out as Seongje's hand painted with his come. Seongje stroked him through it. Baekjin thrashed his head back against the arm rest, chest rising up and down with unsteady breaths. Seongje laid on top of him. Still hard.

After a few minutes, Baekjin switched their positions and made Seongje lay down underneath him. He took his shirt off, latching on to his chest and leaving kisses trailing down to his torso. Baekjin tugged his pants down and then kissed his clothed cock. Seongje gasped, bucking his hips up. Baekjin hummed. Licked the wet fabric. Seongje's hands tugged at Baekjin's hair, pushing into his mouth. "Take it off." He demanded.

Baekjin looked the outline of his cock through his underwear. Relished in how soaked he was. "Say please." He mumbled, nipping on Seongje's hip bone. If Seongje thought he wasn't going to payback for earlier, he was awfully wrong.

Seongje huffed out a choked laugh. "You want me to say 'please'?"

Baekjin nodded, thumbing Seongje's cock through his boxers. "You had your fun. I'm having mine."

"Oh, is that what this is about? So petty. I was just enjoying seeing you so desperate."

"Learned from the best."

Seongje grinned. "I'm never desperate."

Baekjin placed an open mouthed kiss on Seongje's wet underwear and grazed his teeth a little. The big spot on Seongje's brief dampened darker. Seongje exhaled. "Shit."

"It shouldn't be hard to beg. You've done it many times before." Baekjin threw him an amused glance.

"Fuck off." Seongje scoffed.

Baekjin pulled back.

He licked his lips, lifted his back ever so slightly up. "Please." Seongje whispered.

Baekjin angled his head to the side as his hands gripped Seongje's thighs. "Again." He commanded.

"Not happening." Seongje said. Baekjin drew his underwear off his legs and chuckled just above Seongje's dripping tip, the vibration of Baekjin's laugh clinging to it. "Fuck— Please!"

Baekjin licked the come off of him. Came up to kiss Seongje and passed it from his tongue to Seongje's. Seongje moaned against his lips, thrusting his tongue insdie Baekjin's mouth. Baekjin pulled back and then settled between Seongje's legs again, his lips finally engulfing Seongje as his hand stroked the length he hadn't yet taken in. He squeezed Seongje's ass as his mouth slowly took in all of him at once.

Seongje looked at the bobbing of Baekjin's head, his hair messed up and eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed in the same concentration he gave to everything else. He groaned. Felt the rush of blood in his body make him dig his heels into the soft padding of the couch below him. Baekjin had gotten uncannily good at giving blow jobs that he had Seongje coming apart every time. He gave a few thrusts upwards, fucking Baekjin's mouth. Baekjin hummed around him, took him in further inside his mouth. His hand reached up to pinch Seongje's nipple. And before he knew it, he was coming inside Baekjin's mouth with a prolonged moan, giving the last few shaky thrusts and then collasping back against the couch. Baekjin swallowed every drop. Licked him clean until nothing was left and then laid down on top of Seongje, catching his own breath.

Seongje's arms wrapped loosely around Baekjin, holding him there. "Since when were you naturally good at being a cock sucker?" He snorted. Baekjin rolled his eyes against his chest and lifted himself off of Seongje, swatting his dick before putting his clothes on. Seongje balled into himself, letting out a string of curses.

—oo—

Seongje was getting increasingly suspicious of Baekjin. Every two weeks of a month, he'd go somewhere in the morning. Often, it was the grocery store or a cafe or something else. He kept leaving the same notes on Seongje's forehead every month, and Seongje was sure he was keeping a secret gang behind his back or had joined some cult. It could be both. It could be neither. He had to be sure, though, so the first weekend of December, he followed him. Baekjin's alarm went off at precisely 8 in the morning, he'd showered last night so he wouldn't have to in the morning. He pretended to be asleep and when he was sure Baekjin was gone out the door, quickly got up and ran to the door after putting on a jacket. He had to be careful. You did not want to be found dead following Na Baekjin.

It was getting ready to snow out, and he was getting more and more cold under his less than adequate coat just walking down from the apartment. He watched as Baekjin got into a taxi and left the building. Fuck. He hadn't thought of that. He waved his arms over his head and a car pulled over. He got into it. "Follow the car in front of us. Hurry!"

The man looked flabbergasted but did as he said. "Where are we going? Should I call the police?"

Seongje leaned forward on his seat, eyes tracking the taxi Baekjin was in. "No. No. He's harmless." He said and then glanced at the driver, snorting. 'Harmless' his ass.

The ride was 15 minutes, and he was getting more and more certain that Baekjin was meeting up with some mafia that lived in the most fucked up area. As buildings passed by, they reached a small town, and then a big institution came into view, covered with the oncoming snow. He told the cab driver to stop a mile away from the car in front of theirs, and he did.

Seongje slumped back against when he got a good look at the name of the building. 'Life of Hope' orphanage. The driver was talking to him, but all he could see was Baekjin disappearing inside, the gates closing behind him as the snow fell around them.

He told the driver the address back to the apartment to take him back, while his thoughts lingered on the orphanage. So Baekjin was coming here all along? Why wouldn't he just tell Seongje that? Why lie? They were friends. Seongje already knew about it. Baekjin could just tell him.

He took a very much needed hot shower once he got back to the apartment. There wasn't much to do because it was only 8:30 in the morning, so he'd went back to sleep. He'd confront Baekjin when he got home.

Chapter Text

Baekjin arrived back at the apartment when the snow had stopped falling and the sun had rose high in the sky. He had no intention of making lunch. All the voluntary work at the orphanage had tired him out of his mind, and all he really wanted to do was shower and then get comfortable on the couch while he watched whatever the discovery had going on at that time. He got in the shower and then came out ten minutes later to see Seongje rolling on to his side, cocooned in the blankets.

Cute. And then, a rolling of his eyes at his own mind.

He silently paddled back into the living room with his blanket and laid down on the couch parallel to the TV, turning it on with the remote control.

Just as his eyes were narrowing at the misinformation being spewed by a "marine biologist", Seongje came into the living room and sat down on his extended legs.

"Make room."

There were two other very comfortable spaces, but he just had to fucking bother Baekjin. "Sit somewhere else." Baekjin said, without looking away from the TV. Seongje continued sitting on his legs. Baekjin was thinking if kicking him off would be worth it when he spoke up.

"Where did you go?"

Baekjin tensed, legs stilling underneath Seongje's weight on him. He'd left a note, right? Why was Seongje still asking him where he went? Did he swallow the note in his sleep? "To the…fish market." He repeated.

"Eight in the fucking morning? Yeah right." Seongje's voice was chipped. Mean. Suspicous.

Did he know where—That couldn't be possible. Seongje would not wake up that early to follow him anywhere, let alone a fish market. Was there a tracking app on his phone he didn't know about? No, he would know. He checked regularly.

"I know." Seongje said, staring at the TV.

Oh.

Baekjin clenched his jaw. Didn't say anything for a long time. Pulled his legs from under Seongje and sat properly attached to the right side of the couch. "You followed me there."

"Because you kept making excuses of going somehwere every oth—"

"It's none of your business, is it?" Baekjin snapped, icily. His eyes turned to glowering slits as his gazed back at Seongje.

Seongje laughed emptily, nodding to himself, looking at him. "Uh huh. Because this is just casual between us. We don't fucking owe each other anything."

Baekjin swallowed, posture still tense. Took time to think through his next words, ignoring the way he was feeling exposed. Vulnerable. Unable to run away and hide. Unable to fight. Not enough breathing space.

He got up and walked to their bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

—oo—

They didn't talk for the rest of the day until midnight when they were sitting on the couch, miles apart between them. Seongje snatched the remote control and changed the channel from something Baekjin was watching.

Fair enough.

After a while, Baekjin said, "I wasn't ready."

"For what?" Seongje questioned after a minute of taut silence.

"To tell you."

Seongje's reply was instant. "I already knew about it."

Baekjin couldn't deny that line of reasoning. Perhaps he just wanted to keep that part of his life tucked away. It felt too vulnerable a piece of him to be exposed. Well, now it was.

They stayed like that for some time. Neither of them saying anything.

And then, Baekjin spoke up again, "They need volunteers at the orphanage."

"And?" Seongje returned, wanting Baekjin to say it. He deserved that at least.

"You could come." Baekjin offered after pausing.

Seongje grinned. "You want me to volunteer?" He chuckled.

"You don't have to. I know it might come difficult to your nature." The right corner of Baekjin's mouth rose slightly higher than the other in a smirk on the side Seongje couldn't see.

Seongje full on laughed. "Oh and it's easy for you, asshole?" He threw a pillow.

Baekjin threw it back, snorting. "Yes. As surprising as that may be."

Seongje smirked, catching the cushion. "It is. Very."

"Fuck off."

"What kind of volunteer work is it?"

Baekjin looked at him. "It depends. I helped with cooking food yesterday."

"I'm out."

Baekjin rolled his eyes. "They have other things to help with. I'm not sure they'll let you near the kids though."

"Oh fuck you. I'm good with kids."

"When was the last time you interacted with one?"

"When I was a kid." Seongje grinned, lighting a cigarette.

Baekjin gave him a look as if to say 'exactly'.

—oo—

In the middle of the week, Seongje's mom made an appearance at their apartment. How she knew where they lived? She had her ways. It made Seongje furious either way. He refused to let her come inside the apartment at fucking 5 in the evening. "What do you want?" He asked, his expression bored.

Ms. Geum sighed. "I just came to see how you were doing."

"Since when do you care?"

"Where is Baekjin?" She tried to look past Seongje.

Seongje half closed the door. "Doesn't fucking concern you." He said, slamming the door in her face and going back in the living room.

Baekjin glanced up. "Who was it?"

"My mom." Seongje sat down beside him, leaning back onto the couch.

Baekjin leaned into his warmth subconciously, brushing their shoulders together. He nodded. "We should be careful."

"She can't do shit."

"She's an authority in power."

"I'm her fucking son." Seongje argued, making eye contact.

Baekjin sighed. "Until you turn 18, it's best to keep everything balanced."

"She's not going to do anything. I know her."

"Maybe she wants to patch things up." Baekjin reasoned.

"You want me to kneel at her feet?" Seongje's face morphed into a scowl.

Baekjin shook his head. "That's not what I said."

"I don't want to. Fuck her."

Well. That was predicted. Baekjin gave it a try, nonetheless.

—xx—

Seongje fell back on Baekjin's bed with Baekjin on top of him, kissing him lazily as he nipped on his bottom lip. Baekjin squeezed his waist, humming quietly as their clothed cocks ground together. He pushed Seongje's shirt up his body and over his shoulder, flinging it somewhere on the floor behind him. His own shirt was thrown away as Seongje pulled it off of him. "I had a boner in class just thinking about this."

Bakejin huffed a chuckle against his jaw, hands undoing Seongje's pants buttons. "What the fuck?"

"It turns me on when you ignore me."

Of course, it did. It was Seongje. What did he expect?

Baekjin made eye contact. "Maybe I should ignore you all the time." He said, pushing Seongje's pants down with his boxers and taking them off of him.

"Fuck. Don't say that." Seongje moaned, wrapping his hand around his cock. Baekjin's hand nudged it away, taking him in his hand.

Baekjin leaned over him, kissed his collarbone. Bit down as he stroked him. Seongje held his ass, his grip tight as his hips buckled up. Baekjin's lips traced kisses down on his chest, stopping to suck at his nipples. Seongje groaned, pushing up. Baekjin's tongue licked it at relentlessly. Placing kisses and then taking the pink bud into his mouth. Seongje's cock let out pre come on to Baekjin's fist. Baekjin slowed his strokes intentionally, and Seongje whined. His mouth left Seongje's chest, coming down until he was face to face with his cock. He took it inside his mouth, used his teeth experimentally. Seongje arched his back into Baekjin's mouth, hands gripping his hair.

Baekjin glanced up at him, cheeks hollowed out by Seongje's cock inside his mouth. Seongje realized just how much sin the sight held and shuddered with a sick satisfaction.

Baekjin's fingers tickled between his ass cheeks. Seongje cursed, laughing as he wiggled away.

Baekjin suppressed a chuckle, brushing them again as he took Seongje deeper in his mouth. Seongje moaned. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Baekjin's thumb sweeper over his entrance.

Seongje roughly jerked at Baekjin's hair. "You wanna fuck me? Is that what this is?" He asked breathlessly. He reached over to the nightstand table and took out a bottle of lube, throwing it between them.

Baekjin looked up at him in surprise, eyebrows rising slightly. "I was just…"

"Just what?" Seongje asked, grinning.

Baekjin licked his lips. "Testing."

"Oh? Well, how about you test it for real?" Seongje proposed, lifting a smug brow as he smirked.

Baekjin sat, taken aback, glancing at Seongje's entrance and then back at his face. He pressed his thumb down, and Seongje breathed in. "Have you done it before?"

"Done what?"

Baekjin nodded to his ass. "Finger yourself."

Seongje laughed hysterically, cheeks tinting a hint of pink. "Why? You wanna know if I was imagining your cock instead?"

"Did you?" Baekjin threw back, holding his gaze. Something flickered in Seongje's eyes as he shot out precome on his stomach. Baekjin watched it.

"Guess you'll never know." Seongje shrugged, smiling.

Baekjin dug in his thumb at his entrance, and his mouth fell open in a silent moan. "You did." Baekjin said to himself.

"Fuck." Seongje panted, arching his back and pushing against Baekjin's hand. "Use the fucking lube and get on with it."

Baekjin stared at Seongje's entrance clenching and unclenching around his thumb and suppressed a shiver. He swallowed and glanced at the lube. Strawberry flavor.

Seongje looked at Baekjin with hooded eyes as he poured the lube on to his fingers. He made eye contact with Seongje and pressed just a little. Seongje hissed. "Slow."

Baekjin got on top of him. Kissed him. Seongje wrapped his hand around Baekjin's neck, fingers tangling in the hair at his nape. Seongje tongued him. Pulled at Baekjin's bottom lip with his teeth. Baekjin drew back from his lips, staring into Seongje's eyes as his fingers pushed just a bit more inside. Seongje moaned, eyes closing as he leaned his head back.

Baekjin took in his reactions. The way Seongje tightened around his fingers. Felt his heart pounding in his ears at the sheer sight of Seongje so lost in pleasure. Felt his own cock harden in his pants. He glanced down to see Seongje jerking himself at the same time as Baekjin was pumping his fingers in and out. Saw as Seongje bit his lips with his brows frowned ever so slightly. Heard him groan louder when Baekjin would push in just a little more each time. "Fuck—a little more—" Seongje undulated his hips downwards to meet Baekjin's fingers halfway.

Baekjin pressed just a little more inside, and suddenly, Seongje was seeing stars, hands flying to grab on to the sheets as Baekjin hit that sweet spot. Baekjin watched him with awe written all over his face. Light beads of sweat had gathered on Seonge's face that shone bright under the lamp light. He gasped as his own hand brought him closer to release, speeding up his strokes. Baekjin moaned as Seongje took him in his hand as well, staring back in his eyes that seemed more alive than ever. Baekjin's fingers hit the spot again as his own breathing went uneven on top of Seongje, thrusting into his fist.

Seongje came first with a loud cry of Baekjin's name. Baekjin followed him immediately the moment his name had spilled from Seongje's name with such fervor, his come shooting out and mixing with Seongje's on his stomach and chest. He took his fingers out and slumped down beside Seongje, mouth agape as he panted rapidly.

Seongje turned to him with a grin a little while later. "For a first time, you knew how to finger perfectly fine."

Baekjin opened his mouth to repond only to be shut up by a kiss. He kissed back slowly, eyes lulling shut. Seongje bit down on his lip before pulling back. "You better help me clean this." He grumbled. Baekjin glanced down to where Seongje's eyes were fixed and saw the mess they'd made on Seongje's stomach. His face warmed as he stared at it in silence.

Baekjin passed him some tissues, and Seongje rolled his eyes, wiping the skin clean. "Let's shower." Baekjin said, getting up after putting his boxers on.

Seongje raised his eyebrows, but followed wordlessly.

—xx—

"That's not nearly enough scrubbing to clean a pot." Baekjin glanced over from where he was leaning against the counter.

Seongje glared at him in annoyance. "Do it yourself, smartass."

"You told me you wanted to help me."

"Yeah. Not with the fucking dishes."

"Giving your unsolicited advice on my cooking isn't helping."

"It very much is." Seongje flicked a wet finger at him. Baekjin deadpanned. He turned around while Seongje was busy laughing and got the spray battle. Standing at a safe distance, he sprayed it twice on Seongje's side profile and then sprinted away with Seongje cursing behind him. "You piece of shit, come back here!"

Baekjin smirked to himself as he made himself comfortable on the couch. Seongje finished up in a few minutes and came with his hands wet. Baekjin's eyes widened as Seongje grinned deviously, hands raised like a wolf's. "Don't." He warned, hand reaching for a pillow to shield himself. Seongje took it away before he could get it and threw it on the floor.

Baekjin jolted up and went behind a couch. "I'll punch you if you touch me with that."

Seongje continued matching Baekjin's back and forth. "You don't think I'll punch you back?" He asked, making a sudden motion as if to touch Baekjin's face before pulling back with a cackle as Baekjin flinched back.

Seongje took that opportunity to jump over the couch and smooch Baekjin's cheeks with his wet hands.

Baekjin's instant response was, of course, a punch.

Seongje groaned, stumbling back. "Fuck." He raised his fist to punch Baekjin back which he easily dodged and then went to the couch to sit down, wiping his cheeks on his shirt sleeves.

"You started it." Baekjin turned his head to look at Seongje.

The punch wasn't even that strong, Seongje just liked dramatic.

Seongje sulked, rubbing his jaw as he sat down noticeably far away from Baekjin on the couch. "Fuck you."

Baekjin rolled his eyes, snorting. "Don't be overdramatic. It was hardly a punch."

When Seongje didn't reply, Baekjin glanced at him, wondering if he was genuinely upset over it. He scoffed internally. "What? Want me to kiss it better?" He mocked.

Seongje sniffed, burying his head in his hands after taking off his glasses. Sad, little snuffles filled the living room. Baekjin stared at him in disbelief. Was he really?— He shifted closed and tried to pry Seongje's hands away from his face only for Seongje to grin and let out a loud laugh, slapping his thigh in delight. "You really believed that? Shit!"

Baekjin was seriously contemplating on punching him again. He glared at him silently as Seongje continued to chuckle, his own lips twitching in to smile after a moment. He went back to his corner of the seat and got on his phone, biting the inside of his cheek.

Seongje nudged his shoulder as he got close enough.

Baekjin ignored him in favor of scrolling on his phone mindlessly. Seongje smirked and then moved to lay his head down on Baekjin's lap, legs spreading past the hand rest on the other side of the couch.

Seongje took Baekjin's phone away and tossed it on the armchair.

"What?" Baekjin asked in irritation, looking down at him. His hands awkwardly placed one hand on the armrest and the other against his stomach, dangerously close to Seongje's hair. His fingers twitched to reach out and run his hand though the fluffy mess of Seongje's hair, but he resisted. Couldn't. No normal friends ever did shit like that. Especially not one with benefits.

Seongje's face transformed into a self-satisfied expression. "I don't get a kiss for being a good actor?" He asked innocently.

Baekjin narrowed his eyes. "Get off my lap."

"No."

"We should get you new glasses. So you can see my lap isn't a pillow." Baekjin said, blinking.

Seongje's eyes twinkled with nothing but pure joy. "I actually like this view."

Baekjin sighed despite his heart nearly beating out of his chest with how hard it was thumping. "Well, I don't." He said, lifting one of his knees to get Seongje to move his head.

"Liar." He poked Baekjin's nose.

Baekjin huffed, holding Seongje's hand from moving again. "Why would I lie?"

"Because you haven't pushed me off yet." Seongje glanced at his hand engulfed by Baekjin's and smiled as if it proved his point.

Baekjin snatched his hand back to himself, getting up. "I'm going to bed." He muttered on his way to their bedroom.

Seongje bit his lips, sitting up with a sigh. Right.

Chapter Text

When the next Saturday rolled around, Seongje accompanied Baekjin to the orphanage. Baekjin couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety for how Seongje will behave around the kids. He hadn't told that to Seongje. But Seongje could fish his worries out like an open book.

"I'm not going to traumatize the kids." Seongje said in the cab, playing a game on his phone.

Baekjin had no idea how he had the energy to play games at 9 in the morning, but not show up to school. It was glaringly obvious though.

"Too much." Seongje finished, with a smug peek at Baekjin.

Baekjin gritted his teeth. "Don't do something to get me fucking banned from ever going there."

Seongje grinned down at his phone.

They arrived there in ten more minutes and got out after Baekjin paid for the taxi. "Just because I have a job doesn't mean I have to pay for everything," Seongje had told him, shrugging.

There wasn't anyone outside the building, a few workers here and there cleaning but not anything else other than that. Ms. Yoon must be expecting Baekjin, because she rushed over the moment they entered the front hall. "Oh! You brought a friend!"

Baekjin gave Seongje a steel look, and Seongje gave him a gummy smile in response. He stepped forward and did an unnecessarily deep bow. "Geum Seongje." He said, extending his hand.

This fucker—

Ms. Yoon covered her mouth with her hand, delighted. "How nice! Come on in, the kids are just finishing breakfast."

Seongje threw a menacing glance over his shoulder. Baekjin clenched his jaw.

They were led to a playroom at the end of the hall after all the rooms. "This is the play area. Just tidy up roughly before they come in here." Ms. Yoon nodded to the toys scattered around everywhere while smiling.

Seongje raised a brow. "Damn." He whispered under his breath.

Ms. Yoon turned to him. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm glad to be of service." Seongje put on a smile that Baekjin recognized as less than charming and more than fake.

Ms. Yoon couldn't tell the difference and beamed. "Such a kind friend you have, Jin-ah!"

Baekjin nodded slightly, tensing up. She left soon to let them get to work.

"We should get cleaning, Jin-ah." Seongje put a hand on his arm, batting his eyelashes.

Baekjin shoved him. Seongje shoved back, laughing.

Before Baekjin was able to stop Seongje from terrorizing any of the kids, he was gone in an instant they started playing. He sighed and followed him.

"Be nice." Baekjin told him, and Seongje gave him a silent stare and then broke out into an irrational smile.

A kid was making something from a lego set, and Seongje leaned his hands on his knees, looking over it. "It's really not that hard." He commented. The kid glanced up with their eyes widened.

Baekjin rolled his eyes, pinching his waist on the side. "Fuck!" Seongje cursed, rubbing the spot.

The other kids all stared at him in shock.

Baekjin sighed loudly and dragged Seongje away from the scene as Seongje snickered quietly.

"Last warning. Behave."

"But I don't wanna. Did you see the look on that kid's face? Absolutely hilarious!"

Ms. Yoon came in the room and spotted them, coming over. Seongje put on a wide smile.

"How is everything going? I hope the kids are not troubling you two too much." She said, glancing around the room.

Baekjin opened his mouth when Seongje intervened him. "Not at all. Little angels." He nodded. "Please, leave them to us." He bowed.

Baekjin blinked twice. Ms. Yoon lit up. "Oh of course! Seems like you're very good with kids."

A pony-tailed girl came up to where they were standing with a drawing in her hand, appearing ecstatic. Seongje squinted. "What is that?" He asked—knowing fully well that it resembled a family—and then realized too late what he'd said once the girl started crying. In his defense, it was an impulse he couldn't stop.

Ms. Yoon stared at him in shock.

Seongje chuckled, shaking his head. "I meant—"

"It's a great drawing." Baekjin said to the girl, tugging Seongje away with him by his arm while Ms. Yoon consoled the girl.

—oo—

"I was confused." Seongje argued as they entered their apartment.

Baekjin gave him an unamued stare and walked inside. "I'm never taking you there again."

"Okay, but you have to admit the drawing was terrible."

It was. But it's not something they can just fucking say it in the kid's face. "And you're such a drawing expert?"

"I was a pretty good artist when I was a kid." Seongje scoffed, taking off his coat as Baekjin did the same. He threw it carelessly on the back of Baekjin's desk chair.

Baekjin glanced at Seongje's jacket and then at him. Seongje groaned, rolling his eyes as he grabbed the jacket and went to hang it in the closet.

"I don't believe you." Baekjin said, strolling out of the bedroom.

Seongje snorted. "I can show you. I have pictures." He got his phone out as they entered the kitchen.

Baekjin reached for two ramen bowls and placed them on the counter. "Hand me a pot."

Seongje was scrolling through the millions of photos he had in his gallery while he opened a cabinet and took out a pan. He handed that to Baekjin.

"That's a pan."

"Same thing."

"Pot." Baekjin repeated, and Seongje shoved his phone in Baekjin's hands after finding the picture. He turned around to go get the pot while Baekjin looked down at the picture.

A drawing of a lake and a house behind it was scratched on to a piece of white paper with crayolas. It didn't look half as bad for a kid. He couldn't say that yet. "How old were you?"

"Six." Seongje said, pouring water into the pot.

Baekjin raised a silent brow. Well…the drawing was quite good for a six year old child. He placed the phone back on the counter without saying anything and started opening the ramen packets.

Seongje squinted his eyes. "What?"

"What?" Baekjina asked without looking up.

"I was right, wasn't I? The drawing is fucking awesome for a six year old." He huffed cockily.

Baekjin sighed. "Not everyone has that skill at that age."

"So you admit my drawing is great for a child?" Seongje smirked.

Baekjin rolled his eyes as he put the noodle cakes into the boiling pot. "I admit it takes a certain amount of skill."

"Exactly." Seongje grinned.

Seongje rolled on to his back beside Baekjin, out of breath. He glanced at Baekjin to find him in a smiliar state. He shifted on to his side to face Baekjin. "Want me to cuddle you to sleep?" He grinned, wrapping an around around Baekjin's middle.

Baekjin glanced at him, shaking his head. "I'm good."

"You sure? Might help with your insomnia."

Baekjin raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Seongje snorted. "You don't think I hear you pacing around the apartment at night?"

Baekjin shifted to face the wall away from Seongje. "It's not that bad."

"I don't mind." Seongje said, quietly.

"Good night."

Well.

Seongje sighed and lugged on to his bed. He stared at Baekjin's back for a second before turning off the lamp. "Night."

Seongje took out a hoodie from the closet. It was Baekjin's. Baekjin didn't even know if he noticed it or not. It had been happening a lot recently. Laundery mixing and wearing each other's clothes. They didn't bother telling each other about it after Baekjin accidentally wore one of Seongje's shirt, and ten minutes later, were in a tangle of limbs on Seongje's bed, breathing in sync.

Baekjin continued writing in his notebook, glancing up just as Seongje pocketed his wallet. "Where are you going?"

"Internet cafe with Han Daehyun."

Seongje ran a hand through his hair and looked in his phone camera, adjusting it as needed.

Baekjin frowned slightly. Han Daehyun? Were they close? Were they friends? When did they even become friends? He glanced down. Why was he getting ready like he was going on a date, anyway?

None of his business, he supposed. So he responded, "Okay."

Seongje grinned, putting his phone down after posing for several selfies. "Do I look good?" He asked, coming to a halt beside Baekjin's desk.

Baekjin looked at him. Perfect hair style, clean glasses, charming face. Was he acting oblivious to get compliments or did he genuinely want to know? It was definitely the former.

"Yes." Baekjin glanced down at his lips and then back at his notes.

Seongje winked. "Alright. Gotta run."

And then Baekjin was left alone with nothing but his thoughts. It was obviously not something to dwell on. Seongje had a friend that wasn't just him, so what?

He sighed and got back to work.

—oo—

Two hours and then four. There was no sign of Seongje or a text from him indicating if he's going to make it home for dinner or not.

Baekjin was bored out of his mind. He looked out the window to his right from the couch. It had started snowing again, the flakes piling up on the frame of the window. He was getting hungry, but he had no motivation to cook. He got up and walked into the kitchen to see if there were any leftovers he could eat.

There was leftover japchae(glass noodles) from last night. He could have that. He'd have to stir fry some beef to go with it. Just as he took out the meat and set a pan to heat, the front door clicked shut.

Fucking finally.

Seongje walked inside with his hands carrying take-out that he placed on the dining table with a grunt. "Fuck, so cold outside." He shivered in his hoodie, peddling to the kitchen. He raised a brow when he saw Baekjin cooking meat on the stove. "I bought take-out."

Was he being serious? "You didn't tell me anything." Baekjin replied, not taking his eyes off of the beef.

Seongje stepped up behind Baekjin, wrapping his hands around his waist.

"I didn't get the time." He placed a kiss beneath Baekjin's ear.

Baekjin stepped out of Seongje's arms to get the noodles out of the fridge and into the pan that had the beef cooking. "You had the time to game for four hours, but not for a quick text."

Seongje rolled his eyes, moving aside as Baekjin occupied the space in front of the gas stove. "I didn't think you'd stop studying and start cooking."

"Don't make excuses for your irresponsibility."

"Now you have options to choose from. You're welcome." Seongje grinned.

Baekjin gave him silence in response as he plated the food and went to sit down at the dining table.

Seongje followed him, sitting down across him and getting the containers out of the bag. "Oh, I get it. It's about me hanging out with Han Daehyun and having fun without you." He snickered.

Baekjin smirked, shaking his head as he took a mouthful of noodles with the beef. "I could care less about that." He said, getting on his phone.

"So you aren't, say, jealous?" Seongje asked, munching on his take-out food.

Baekjin raised a brow. "Is that a question? No, I'm not jealous."

He was, but he couldn't say that to Seongje. He wasn't even sure why he was jealous.

Seongje felt more sure he was. Just refused to show it. So, he indulged him. "Good. You shouldn't be." He smiled.

—oo—

Baekjin slipped the cheat sheet into Seongje's hand when the teacher wasn't looking. Seongje barely grasped it before it threatned to fall. The mid-terms were two hours long, the subject math. And Seongje, as predicted, was terrible at it. He hadn't needed help with the other exams, but this one, he'd begged Baekjin for it. With just more than his mouth.

When the bell finally rang, they took off home. Seongje bumped his shoulder into Baekjin's with a grin. "How does a thank you blowjob sound when we get back to the apartment?"

Baekjin rolled his eyes. "I have to study."

"And?" Seongje raised a suggestive brow. "It might help you focus, mhmm?"

"It would do the opposite."

"Fine. The offer still stands though." Seongje smirked.

Baekjin hummed.

That night, they barely went past making out before Seongje was laying down beside him. "Fuck, so tired."

Baekjin sighed, heartbeat returning to its normal rhythm. He turned his head to look at Seongje. Seongje wrapped his hand around his middle and nuzzled his face into Baekjin's neck, kissing the skin there before letting out a sigh. Baekjin didn't move, his eyes drowsy. The heat felt nice. Comfortable. Didn't have the energy to push away Seongje. Didn't want to.

They fell alseep like that. Baekjin's front pressed to Seongje's back after a while as their bodies rose up and down in sync.

Seongje stirred when he heard a notification ding on his phone. He peeked open one eye and saw the time was 4 am in the morning. His middle felt heavy and warm. He moved his hand and felt it was Baekjin's arm. In his drowsy state, he felt a slight warmness settle in his chest. No.

It would be morning soon. He couldn't let Baekjin find out they'd fallen asleep cuddling for hours. His own half-concious mind was fighting against it. Baekjin would explode if he woke up to his arm wrapped around Seongje's waist.

So, very carefully, Seongje removed Baekjin's arm off of his stomach. The sleeping Baekjin didn't take kindly to it, instead, he just tightened his grip around Seongje. Seongje might just die at that point. Fuck.

He tried again, more firmly and got Baekjin to loosen his grip and let Seongje move away. Seongje adjusted the blanket on his form up to his shoulders and got under his own covers on the other side of the room.

Sleep took over his eyes again.

—oo—

The exams were over soon, and they were out for Christmas break. There were bright lights and decorations everywhere they looked, everyone happy to celebrate the holidays with their friends and family.

Seongje knew Baekjin's birthday fell on the same day as Christmas Eve. He'd found that out from Baku himself last year when he'd came over with a box of fried chicken for Baekjin's birthday, and Seongje hadn't mentioned a word of it to Baekjin. Had chosen to clean up every piece of it himself.

He still didn't regret of it if he was honest.

He eyed the small shop labeled 'Happy Decorations' in all pastel colors across the street nestled between a cafe and a PC room. He'd just bid Baekjin goodbye in front of the cram school and searched up the nearest place where he could buy birthday stuff.

Obviously, he'd been to birthday parties before—he wasn't Baekjin. Knew that they were usually extravagant and obnoxiously loud. Baekjin would kill him if he did all of that at the apartment. His brain supplied the thought of asking Baku which he shut down immediately. No fucking way. He could figure this out easily, he told himself as he stepped inside the shop, a small ding over his head indicating his arrival.

After half of an hour of browsing through the isles, he realized he couldn't figure out shit. His fingers were itching to take out a cigarette because this shit was hard. He had half a mind to buy everything and anything that was in his vision and leave from the store with all its bright colors and happy vibes that were irritating his senses. He was just about to take his phone out to call Daehyun when the manager walked over to her, probably sensing his growing unease—or maybe she thought he was a fucking lunatic and wanted to kick him out which he couldn't blame her for.

"Good afternoon, sir. Is there anything specific you're looking for?" She asked.

Seongje turned to her, glancing at her name tag. Kim Ji-ah. He looked back up at her face, shoving his phone back inside his pocket. He shifted from foot to foot, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying to throw someone a birthday party." He glanced around.

Acting civilized was such a difficult task, he hated it.

The employee, Ji-ah, just smiled sympathetically as if she understood exactly what Seongje was feeling. "Can I ask what this person likes? As in colors or if there is a certain theme they prefer?"

Well, shit.

They hadn't exactly sat down and interrogated each other like that. Seongje's mind blanked for a second before he said, "Black." In his defense, Baekjin was always wearing something black. Or white. But his favorite color couldn't be white. He wasn't that boring.

Ji-ah nodded and then waited as if she expected Seongje to continue. "And a theme?" She prompted when Seongje stared back at her dumbly.

Guns and blood, he thought in his head, letting out an abrupt snicker out loud before he could stop it.

Ji-ah raised her eyebrows slightly, appearing taken aback.

He cleared his throat. "No preference." He reponded.

Ji-ah nodded, thinking.

"He doesn't like fancy things, so…" Seongje added, trying to help her and himself out, more the latter so he could stop talking to her already.

Ji-ah turned on her feet suddenly and rounded the corner to the next aisle. "Follow me. I have just what you're looking for."

They halted before a wide section titled 'minimal but cute'. Seongje narrowed his eyes, lips twitching to stop another laugh. That label would be enough to give Baekjin a heart attack if he knew about it.

"This has everything you need! There are balloons in all the colors, garlands, photo booth backdrops, banners. Everything you may need!" Ji-ah exclaimed, beaming at Seongje.

Seongje nodded, glancing at all the prices of the decorations from top to bottom. Not expensive, but not cheap either. "Thanks." He muttered, and Ji-ah replied with an excited "You're welcome!" before leaving him to help another customer that had just walked in.

He didn't have much money in hand. He'd probaby have to come back after he gets his first salary tomorrow. Spending his first check on his fuck buddy's birthday. How romantic. Except it did feel romantic and sappy and that fucking feeling in his stomach they described in movies and books as 'fluttering'. Whatever that was.

With more than 10 tiny bags, he made his way out of the shop with his hands full. He should've brought his bike, it had been a while since he'd last used it. He wasn't sure if Jinnie was even working anymore—the bike's given name that he'd carved out on its seat with a knife when he was drunk some years ago. He wanted to get it repaired and ride it when he was done riding the real Jinnie in his apartment.

The moment he steps inside the apartment, he doesn't take a moment to catch his breath. He takes out all the contents of the bags and shoves them into his backpack. He barely manges to pack everything in it as he closes it and slumps back down on the couch. Baekjin would never find it there.

Now, he just had to think of a way to kick Baekjin out of the apartment so he could hang up all the shit he'd just bought. But wait, he hadn't bought a cake yet.

He groaned, letting out a string of curses before he took out a cigarette and plucked it between his lips, relaxing slightly once he had exhaled the first drag.

The front door opened as Baekjin stepped inside.

Seongje glanced to his right, just now noticing how dark it was outside the windows. Baekjin had a specific routine he followed once he came back from his non job of studying—leave his backpack by his desk, shower, and get in his pajamas. Except today he came around the couch and glanced between Seongje and his backpack sitting beside his legs, an intrigued and an almost amused expression on his face. "Were you studying?"

Seongje snatched the backpack and stood up to go shove it in the closet in their bedroom to protect the contents inside from Baekjin's detective senses. "As if," He scoffed. "I just got back from my job." He came back out.

Baekjin raised a brow. "You went straight to your job after school?"

"I had an early shift." Seongje lied, walking up to Baekjin.

Baekjin didn't look convinced. "And you came home later than usual even though it was an early shift?"

"I worked overtime. Someone has to pay the bills in the house, you know." He mocked, adjusting Baekjin's uniform collar.

When Baekjin didn't respond, he added, "You're welcome."

Baekjin shook his head as if he couldn't believe Seongje was saying those words, taking Seongje's hands that were unbuttoning his jacket in his. "You rarely pay the bills in this 'house'." He retorted, emphasizing the last word.

Seongje smirked, looking up and batting his eye-lashes innocently. "Is this your way of saying you want me to be the housewife? Good and pretty for you when you come home?" He grinned, raising his wrists cuffed between Baekjin's hands as if to stress his point.

Baekjin would've flushed if he wasn't used to Seongje's crudeness by now. Despite that, he felt the tips of his ears warming. Thankfully, it was already dark in the apartment so Seongje didn't have a chance to notice. "You're ridiculous." He mumbled, dropping Seongje's hands and moving past him to go shower.

He heard Seongje chuckle, following closely behind. Mission attention diversion: accomplished.

—oo—

The next morning was slow.

Seongje blinked an eye open before groaning at the single ray of sunshine trying to kill him and rolling on to his stomach to face the other side. He brought his comforter up to cover his face and go back to sleep when he remembered something. Baekjin's birthday. He blinked his eyes open. Gazed at the bed across him. Empty.

A loud sizzling sound reached his ears from the kitchen, and he sat up, stepping out of the room to find Baekjin. How the fuck did he have energy this early to cook let alone on his birthday?

Baekjin's back was turned to him as he carefully cut slices of egg roll on the cutting board before placing them neatly in a dish.

"You'd think it's my birthday, and you were making breakfast for me." Seongje mocked, walking inside and poking Baekjin's waist before wrapping his arms around him. "Happy birthday, old man." He emphasized with a kiss on Baekjin's nape.

"I turned 18." Baekjin said, dryly.

"Yeah, old." Seongje snorted, patting his ass. "So, what do I get?"

It was Baekjin's birthday for fuck's sake. He turned around, freeing himself from Seongje's arms to get the chopsticks. "Nothing. You get to spend the day with me."

Seongje grinned, stepping in his way. "How nice, spending a day with an ex-gangster." He wiggled his eyebrows, looking aboslutely ridiculous standing there in only his shorts, soft skin, no muscle.

Baekjin sighed, not falling for the bait and side stepping him. "I want peace for today."

Seongje rolled his eyes, taking his place on the countertop. "You're so boring. We should do something fun, like go rob a place or whatever."

Baekjin's eyes stayed focused on the plate of egg rolls as he carefully garnished it with sesame seeds and sliced green onion. "That's not my idea of fun."

"What is your idea of fun then? And don't say working out."

"Reading. Listening to music. Playing the violin." Baekjin listed out, bringing the prepared breakfast to the round dining table outisde the kitchen.

Seongje pretended to make snoring noises. "What were you saying? I fell asleep."

Baekjin stopped in front of him and looked up, all serious expression and no qualms. "If you want to go out and have fun on my behalf, you're free to do so. I'm staying in."

Seongje frowned. And then let out a long suffering breath. "Fine, we'll do whatever you want."

Baekjin's lips twitched upwards.

—oo—

"Some help would be very fucking nice!" Seongje exclaimed from the doorway as he pushed in—or tried to—a tall pine tree inside the apartment.

Baekjin looked at him as if it was hard to even believe Seongje was saying such things. "I told you to get a smaller one."

"It was the only one they had, asshole." Seongje fumed, fixing his glasses as he huffed. A comical sight.

Baekjin rolled his eyes and tugged the end of the tree easily inside until it was no longer in the doorway. Seongje gaped at him. "You—"

"You need to do more cardio." Baekjin retorted before Seongje could finish his sentence.

Seongje smirked. "Oh, does the one in the bedroom not count?"

Baekjin stood the tree up in the right corner between the TV and the window, looking up at it with his hands on his hips. He stared at it and tried to ignore the cruel memories it brought up. Like the time when him and Humin—No, he can't back go there. He's moved on. Has Seongje now. Has more than he ever asked for or deserved. He turned back to Seongje with a sigh. "No."

He was so freaking cute. Seongje came up to him. Pulled him into a random kiss. Baekjin kissed back, surprised but not unpleasantly. The kiss was more sweet, gentle than he was used to. Left him feeling things he didn't have the courage to deal with. His stomach knotted itself ever so unnoticeably.

"Did you buy the decorations?" Baekjin asked, clearing his throat as he pretended to adjust the pine needles.

Seongje grinned. "Way ahead of you." He moved past Baekjin to the back of the couch in front of the window, dragging the small box out.

Baekjin watched as Seongje hoisted the box on to the coffee table and took out little ornaments colored green, red, and some white.

There was a strange sense of domesticity as they hung up the ornaments and the little stars and the lights while they easily bantered. A warmth Baekjin refused to acknowledge that kept swelling in his chest every time he saw Seongje laugh at his joke or poke fun at him with no malice behind it.

Ssesongje's hand brushed against Baekjin's, and he saw Baekjin flinch at it, retracting it with his back turned away. Seongje raised a brow. Didn't comment. He continued working on the Christmas tree after glancing over his shoulder at Baekjin going to the kitchen. Weird.

After they'd fallen alseep cuddling, he'd made sure not to pass out in Baekjin's bed again. Baekjin hadn't said anything about it the next day. Seongje didn't even know if he remembered falling asleep in Seongje's arms. He'd prefer Baekjin didn't. It was hardly anything. They never cuddled after sex, why should they now? It's not like—

"Are you coming here?" Baekjin asked, snapping Seongje out of his thoughts.

Seongje looked up from the mistletoe in his hands. He pushed it back in the box and went to the kitchen. "What?"

Baekjin nodded to the ingredients laid out on the kitchen counter. "You wanted to eat sugar cookies."

Seongje grinned with his teeth on full display. "I meant for you to make them and for me to feast."

Baekjin narrowed his eyes. "That's not happening. Either you make it all on your own or you help me with it."

"I don't think either of those choices are fair." Seongje frowned.

Baekjin started putting all the ingredients away. Seongje rushed to stop him. "Wait, wait. Fuck. Okay. Fine, I'll help you. I might just end up eating all the dough though." He added, as if to warn Baekjin. A last attempt to get out of helping him.

"Well then, you get no cookies. It's your loss both ways."

Seongje rolled his eyes, huffing.

Baekjin ignored him. "Wash your hands and put on the gloves."

—oo—

"Na Baekjin, this isn't coming together." Seongje squinted down in the mixer. There was flour on his hands, on his glasses, his cheeks.

Baekjin looked up from where he was mixing food color into the icing. "Because you're pouring into too much flour at once. I told you not to do that." He said, wiping his hands on the apron and coming to stand beside Seongje. He leaned his head down to peek into it.

"I'm not. I'm doing two cups at a time." Seongje argued, tapping a dusty finger on Baekjin's cheek.

Baekjin glared at him, unimpressed. "I said one." He wiped the back of his hand on his cheek.

"You said two."

"One." Baekjin persisted.

"Two."

"One."

"Two."

"One." Baekjin got his phone and shoved it in Seongje's face. "Read the recipe."

Seonjge snorted. "There is flour on my glasses. I can't read it."

Baekjin tugged his glasses off and brought the phone closer. "Read it."

It was, indeed, one cup at a time to avoid dryness. Seongje scoffed. "Yeah, well, more experienced chefs such as myself, can do two cups at a time easily. And it won't take so goddamn long." He grumbled.

Baekjin just stared at him as if he'd grown ten heads. "Experienced?" He asked, skeptically.

Seongje nodded, standing face to face with Baekjin. "That's right."

"Making ramen doesn't make you an experienced chef."

"It's all about perspective." He said, wiggling his brows with a grin.

Baekjin went back to the icing. "If you fuck it up, you're gonna have to eat it all."

"You have zero faith in me." Seongje sulked, going back to the mixer.

Baekjin let his silence act as an answer.

After two hours of letting the cookies bake and then cool down in the freezer, they came out ready to be iced and eaten.

Seongje took a bite of his first. Almost all of them had burned bottoms. "Mhmm. True art."

Baekjin couldn't stop the low chuckle at the ridiculousness of his claim, hesitantly biting down on his cookie. He chewed, and as expected, it tasted slightly more bitter than the normal sweetness of the cookies. It wasn't all bad, but the texture was more biscuit than a cookie. Hard and unpleasant. "Well. You tried."

Seongje was gobbling them down nonetheless. "Fuck you. These are delicious."

Baekjin smirked as he shook his head, standing up. "And you say you have a refined palette."

"Because I do." Seongje objected, laughing as he saw how self-satisfied Baekjin appeared.

Seongje's plan was simple: After they're done having lunch, he'd tell Baekjin that he was going over to Daehyun's to visit him because he had gotten sick. In reality, he was going to the orphanage. The day before, he'd found the director's number on the website of the orphanage and had gotten in contact with Ms. Yoon and explained that he wanted to throw Baekjin a surprise party at the orphanage—a place Baekjin considered home. Ms. Yoon couldn't believe him at first, but he'd gotten her to come around eventually. He wasn't particularly fond of talking to her. But he was doing it for Baekjin, so he had to endure the torture of acting civil.

Baekjin was slightly skeptical when he'd told him that he was to go check on Daehyun, but he eventually relented when Seongje pointed that he could now have all the time to lock himself up and study peacefully.

The taxi he'd took to the orphanage came to a slow stop, and he stepped out. He had his backpack full of the decorations with him. It probably wasn't enough, he realized now, but it was too late.

He made his way past the gates. The usually alive and buzzing grounds of the orphanage were silent today, no laughter of the kids running after each other. He shook his head to free of it of the snow that was falling lightly as he climbed up the front stairs and turned a corner. A woman in her 20's recongnized him immediately and led him to where Ms. Yoon was already helping people clean up a spare room.

"Oh! You're here early." Ms. Yoon hurried over, smiling.

Seongje nodded, looking around.

"Baekjin didn't suspect anything, did he?" She asked, tilting her head.

Seongje shook his head. As if. He was a very good liar. "No."

Ms. Yoon glanced at his backpack and raised her eyebrows.

"I bought some decorations. It's not much but—"

"Oh, don't worry, dear! It'll all be taken care of. Let's get started, okay? We're already behind schedule." Ms. Yoon rushed past him, her voice taking on a more stern tone as she talked to someone hanging the letter balloons that spelled out 'Na Baekjin'.

Seongje sighed, feeling awfully out of place without Baekjin here. Maybe this was a bad idea, and he should run before anyone asks him to do something like write a heartful message for Baekjin.

As if sensing his awkwardness, Ms. Yoon turned around and eyed him. "Did you already book a cake or?"

Shit. He totally forgot about. He cleared his throat. "No."

Ms. Yoon smiled reassuringly. "It's okay! I asked because I've already ordered one. Although, the kids would have loved two cakes, huh?" She laughed in good nature.

Wow, this lady was way ahead of whatever Seongje could've bought with his dollar and two cent money. He flashed back a smile that he hoped didn't scare her and then busied himself with smaller things like adjusting the table clothe and aligning everything perfectly. Baekjin would be proud of him for taking care of the finer details.

—oo—

By the time they were nearly done covering every inch of the spacious room, it was almost evening. And by that time, Baekjin had sent two texts and a call which Seongje, now standing outside for a smoke, finally got to respond to. It rang twice before Baekjin answered his call.

"Where are you?" Baekjin asks, sounding irritated.

Seongje shook ash off the cigarette, his fingers trembling from how cold it was outside. He snorted. "Not even a 'hi'. Did you miss me that?" He asked, grinning to himself. And even though he couldn't see it, he could feel Baekjin's eye roll through the screen.

"Answer the question."

"I'm on my way." Seongje replied, walking away from the building behind him and to the uber that he'd ordered earlier.

Silence followed his answer, and he looked at his phone to make sure Baekjin hadn't hung up. H hadn't.

"Okay. How is Daehyun?" Baekjin questioned.

"Since when do you care about him?" Seongje clicked his tonuge, motioning for the driver to start the ride.

Baekjin sighed on the other end of the line. "Since you do enough to go check up on him in this weather."

"Because I'm a good fucking friend, man." Seongje aruged even as he realized how ridiculous that sentence sounded. He never had any real friends, let alone ones he went to check up on. And he wasn't even checking up on Daehyun. That bastard was probably in a ditch, getting wasted.

Baekjin made a noise that sounded like something between a laugh and a exhale. "Okay. Be careful on your way back, don't slip on the snow. I'm not coming to get you if you do."

"You think I'd need your help?" Seongje cackled.

"You think you wouldn't?" Baekjin remarked.

Seongje shut up. "Whatever. You would come to help though."

"Maybe."

"For sure."

"Perhaps."

"Definitely." Seongje insisted and hung up before Baekjin could say something else.

Baekjin looked at his black screen, shaking his head with a smile.

Someone rang the doorbell. Baekjin glanced up from the chess board laid out in front of him. He hadn't ordered anything so it couldn't be a delivery. Seongje didn't ring the doorbell, so who was it? He tensed for a moment. Could it be someone from the union wanting revenge? Or someone Choi had sent out from behind the bars? He took out the hidden pocket knife tapped under the bottom of the table and walked cautiously to the door. A louder knock pounded on the door, and his shoulders drew up before a voice yelled "I'm freezing my ass off, Na Baekjin!"

Seongje.

What the fuck?

Baekjin sighed, shoving the knife in his back pocket and sauntering over to open the door. Seongje stood there with his hands in his coat pockets, his nose dusted red as well as his cheeks while his hair was covered in white flakes of snow. Baekjin's annoyance melted away as he froze at the sight.

Seongje looked…cute.

It was a startling moment and then before he could say anything, Seongje opened his mouth. "Can you come with me?"

"Where?"

"To…this restaurant I want to try out." Seongje paused from shifting foot to foot, glancing up at Baekjin.

Baekjin didn't buy it at all, of course. He took Seongje's arm and gently dragged him inside. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Seongje frowned as if he were being accused of murder. "What? I'm not doing anything." He avoided Baekjin's eyes pointedly. "Am I not allowed to—"

"You've been lying to me all day." Baekjin stated, his eyebrows creasing in. For a moment, Seongje thought he was angry, but the longer he looked at him, the more he realized that Baekjin was puzzled with the slightest hint of hurt peeking out.

Seongje leaned back against the wall with a sigh, eyes closing momentarily behind his glasses. He can't say anything now. Why he's been lying. Why he's acting weirder than he usual. He's so close to giving Baekjin the best surprise of his life. It would ruin everything he's worked for the past few days.

So, ignoring Baekjin's stern eyes that are hitting him harder than the cold air could outside, he grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the apartment.

Baekjin stumbled after him, eyes widening a friction in sheer bewilderment. "What are you doing?" He pried his hand out of Seongje's grip and stood in the hallway.

Seongje turned to him, looked down at their now separated hands and then back up at him. "I—" He closed his mouth. Baekjin wasn't wearing a coat. He quickly went back inside the apartment. Snatched the coat off the rack by the door and came back out with it.

"I'm taking you somewhere." He explained, raising Baekjin's left arm—or at least trying to—to slip it inside the sleeve of the coat.

"Where? Did you kill someone? Is someone making you do this?" Baekjin asked calmly, his expression inexplicably worried.

Seongje paused in his quest to get Baekjin in the coat and glanced up. "I didn't kill anyone—that's not my style. And no, no one is making me do anything. There is somewhere I want to take you. Can you trust me for once?"

Baekjin regarded him for a moment. Regarded Seongje's face that seemed to appear more serious than it ever had since he'd known him. Could he trust Seongje? He had to in the union, he was Baekjin's right hand man. And now…he was his friend? ally? Whatever the fuck this was? He could trust him. But not only because he felt like he could, but because there was never a reason not to. Seongje had proven his loyalty again and again and again. Even the last time when they were in the warehouse—

"Okay." Baekjin said, taking the coat and putting it on himself.

Seongje stood there for a second, almost dumbfounded.

Baekjin started walking the other way. "Are you coming or not?"

Seongje ran after him.

Baekjin knew where they were going the moment the driver rounded a specific corner. The orphanage. He didn't say anything, though. The utter amount of effort Seongje had gone to arrange whatever he had at the orphanage was enough to keep his mouth shut and wonder if he was in a dream or a nightmare. It was impossibly to tell with Geum Seongje, but this felt like something straight out of a fantasy that he hadn't even ventured into.

He glanced at Seongje, a cigarette between his fingers that were shaking ever so slightly. Whether it was anticipation or anxiety, Baekjin couldn't tell. A strange feeling settled over his heart anyway. Not uncomfortable in the way he gets when he thinks about Baku or his past, but something new that feels familar yet so unsettling. He doesn't know how to name it. He doesn't want to name it.

The car came to a rough halt, pullling him out of his thoughts as Seongje cursed beside him. "What the fuck?" He heard him ask, glaring at the driver in the reearview mirror.

Baekjin threw a glance at the driver who started apolgizing profusely. "Let's go." He said to Seongje who was just now realizing where they were.

The moment the car left, Seongje threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it under his foot, scowling. "Should've blind folded you. So much for a surprise."

Baekjin's gaze softened. "It's fine. I don't exactly know why we're were here, so…" He shrugged, hoping that would help his innocent act.

Seongje clicked his tongue, shaking his head as they walked inside and up the steps. He led Baekjin to the room where everyone was and watched as Baekjin's usually calm face morphed into the most articulate expression he'd seen on him, eyes widening in genuine surpise as his mouth gaped slightly.

Chaos irrupted immediately as the kids flooded around him and dragged him inside while loudly yelling 'happy birthday's that had Seongje wondering if his ears were going to bleed. He stood back, just inside the doorway, tilting his head as he watched Ms. Yoon give Baekjin a hug, Baekjin offering a smile in return. A moment later, his eyes flickered to Seongje's, and his smile seemed to falter slightly before widening, a face of happiness.

A face Seongje had never seen in his presence before. Time seemed to freeze. His breathing slowed down. His body didn't feel grounded.

He felt dizzy, blood rushing in, drowning out the sounds of chatter, barely registering as some of the kids dragged him and pushed past until he was standing in front of Baekjin.

Baekjin seemed to feel it too. He seemed to know exactly what Seongje was experiencing. The confusion of it all. The uncertainty. The shared disorientation nearly shocking them into a black hole.

It was unsettling.

Fortunately, they didn't have to dwell on it as Ms. Yoon announced the birthday cake had arrived and called for the children to get in a neat circle before coming up to them. "The kids are getting excited for the birthday cake, are you ready?" Ms. Yoon asked with a smile on her face.

Baekjin tore his gaze away from Seongje's, feeling his throat close up as if someone had snatched his ability to speak. He swallowed heavily. "Yes." He said, feeling overwhelmed. Feeling happy was foreign. Feeling something that wasn't anger, fear, sadness.

The room filled with the sound of voices overlapping each other as they sang him "Happy birthday".

Seongje wasn't singing, but his shoulder was pressed against Baekjin's and Baekjin was scarcely registering what was happening. It felt grounding, though. Seongje felt grounding. And when the hum of the music came to a stop, he heard the soft murmur of seongje's voice vibrate his ears. "Happy birthday, Baekjinnie."

He hadn't called him that in a long time, not without a teasing tone with it. Not without sarcasm.

Baekjin's hand quivered as he was handed the plastic knife, echoes of "Make a wish! Make a wish!" erupting around him, and he closed his eyes for a second before blowing on the candles. When cut into the white iced cake, revealing its layers of chocolate layers inside. He watched as Ms. Yoon took the piece with a plastic fork and fed it to him. It was almost ridiculous.

And then he felt someone swipe their fingers on his cheek, smothering him with cake, moist and soft. Seongje.

Ms. Yoon gasped beside her before she burst out laughing.

The rest of it was a blur. Seongje coming forward. Offering a piece of cake of his own with his lips tugged up in a smirk. A growing trance in his eyes as Baekjin opened his lips and accepted the fork in his mouth, swallowing without a single movement of his mouth. A startled laugh leaving him while he shook his head and broke away, as if they were sharing a known joke. An old joke. A joke too cruel to be acknowledged in the space between them.

The bubble broke.

But that wasn't the painful part. It was Baekjin letting himself believe there even was one in the first place.

—xx—

Baekjin was pressed onto the wall behind him with Seongje's warm weight, his hands everywhere all at once, unstoppable and devouring. He moaned into his mouth, one of Seongje's hands gripping his ass while the other traveled underneath his shirt with an unstoppable force. Fuck. When did he get so feral? Baekjin realized the question was stupid the moment it entered his mind.

Seongje was a beast.

His shirt was off in less than five seconds as Seongje yanked his head back to mark along his neck. Baekjin squeezed his waist, tilted his head to give more access to Seongje's relenteless biting and sucking at his skin. Seongje ground into him as he nipped and kissed at a hickey, moving his mouth upwards to Baekjin's jaw and sinking his teeth there.

A hand pressed Baekjin's back glued to the wall as Seongje shifted his lips down and down until he was kneeling in front of Baekjin and burying his face in his stomach to mark more hickeys there.

Baekjin wondered, in his slightly dazed state, why he was so adamant on marking the skin so posessively when he remembered the interaction earlier that day.

"That'll be all, sir." The employee at the register said.

Baekjin nodded, taking his wallet out while Seongje hugged the candies to his chest like they were a treasure, already peeling off one of them. He eyed Baekjin as he sucked on a popsicle, an entertained gleam in his eyes. Baekjin rolled his eyes as the cashier packed the rest of their groceries and extended her hand with the change.

Baekjin accepted the money. Took some won out of it to hand it back to her for a tip. She smiled shyly, mot accepting the tip cash. "I think your phone number might be a better tip."

Baekjin blinked. Glanced at Seongje, unsure how to respond. Seongje's eyes flashed with a ferocious intensity that went away just as it came, leaving a void of nothingness. Amusement filled the blankness once again. He threw an arm around Baekjin's shoulder, throwing a pointed glance at the cashier as a smile made its way on to his lips. "You want his number? You'll have to fight me for it."

Baekjin glared at him and took off with their cart, cheeks burning with a blush.

So that's what it was about. Baekjin's back arched into Seongje's mouth at the memory, feeling himself get more turned on. Was Seongje marking him as his own? But they were just…well, it was only sex. Not anything more. They weren't dating. He should be angry that Seongje was acting as if Baekjin was his, as if he owned him.

He groaned when Seongje slid his pants down with his underwear and took him in his hands. Seongje's teeth pierced the skin at his hip bone, mumbling something. Baekjin almost glazed over it, gone in the pain and pleasure of the hickeys that were being marked on every inch of his skin. "What?" He panted, looking down at Seongje.

Seongje stared back into his eyes. "Should take a picture of you like this and show it to anyone who wants to have your number." He grinned.

Baekjin breathed in through his nose sharply at Seongje's words. The confirmation that this was about the cashier made Baekjin all the more hot inside, the pleasure amplifying. He should be annoyed and tell Seongje he didn't belong to him. But the words died on his tip of his tongue before they even had formed. He decided to encourage the monster even more, offered himself to its ugly head. "She wasn't bad looking."

And the way Seongje's eyes had turned to pits of fire in the store, they did the same now. With the glee of someone who knew just what Baekjin was playing at. Baekjin delighted in it. The way it ignited his body with utter excitement like a fight did, adrenaline rushing to his head.

Seongje laughed from his chest, low and dangerous. "That's the best you've got? A cashier? She could count change, is that why you think she's "not bad looking"? That's pathetic." Seongje squeezed Baekjin's cock in his hand tight as the come soaked down his wrist.

Baekjin's head fell back against the wall with a thud and a quiet gasp. Seongje tongued the head of his cock, making Baekjin curl his toes against the tiles on the floor. His mouth was gone as soon as it touched his cock, instead busying it in his inner thighs. Another bite. Harsh and vicious. Marking his territory. It was enough for Baekjin to want to come on the spot, right on Seongje's face. He didn't.

A retort snowballed up his throat and out of his mouth. "Maybe it's because your math skills lack severly that I find her good looking." He felt Seongje pause and then grin against his flesh, making his legs quiver and shut around his head.

"Stooping so low. Is it because I stuck a nerve?" He made eye contact, hands driving down until they were tickling the back of his knees ever so gently.

Baekjin clutched on to Seongje's head to stand himself upright, back lifting off the wall in a slight curve. Seongje chuckled as he saw Baekjin's eyes close and moved his lips to his right thigh, licking the skin before sinking his teeth in the smooth skin and sucking roughly. His fingernails grazed agaisnt the back of Baekjin's knees, and Baekjin jerked at his hair, a broken whine falling from his lips. His cock squirted precome on to the side of Seongje's face. Seongje felt wetness touch his cheek and looked at Baekjin's cock and then up at him with a smirk too smug.

"Is it turning you on that I'm marking you as mine?"

Baekjin was actually losing it. 'Turned on' was just putting it lightly. But rather than saying that, he pointed out with a shiver, "I'm not yours."

Seongje's eyes darkened just as the words left Baekjin's mouth and made it past his ears. Is that what Baekjin thought? That was hilarious. "Mhmm. That's why you're letting me leave hickeys all over you."

"Should I burn you with my cigarette? Just on the side of your neck for you to wear it as a badge of ownership?" Seongje continued, his breath fanning over Baekjin's groin.

Baekjin came from the words alone with a silent gasp, hand fisting on to Seongje's hair as Seongje made no move to avoid the come being shot in his face directly. Instead, he opened his mouth to take it all in as if it were an offering from Baekjin for his relentless devotion and worship. He took Baekjin inside his mouth, dedicated him with two long sucks to work him through his release. It got to a point where he was overstimulating Baekjin. But Baekjin, he saw the way Seongje's eyebrows were frowned in concentration, saw the way he was swallowing Baekjin deeper and deeper inside his throat. Saw the way hot tears rolled down his eyes and still didn't stop.

Baekjin came again with the cry of Seongje's name. Seongje's eyes opened then, his mouth slowed and let Baekjin's cock fall out of his mouth with a satisfied grin. His hair was ruined by Baekjin's grip, his cheeks soaked with come and tears mixed. He didn't seem to care.

Baekjin gazed at him with hooded eyes. Brushed a thumb against his cheek back and forth. Wiped a tear away. Felt the intimacy of the act. Of the moment. Didn't do anything to stop it. Seongje stood up after wiping his mouth clean. Kissed him like he'd never done before. Slow and undeniably gentle. Baekjin kissed him back just as tenderly. Holding both of his cheesks in his hands, like Seongje would break otherwise. He wouldn't. But Baekjin didn't know what to do with the feelings. With the way Seongje was giving himself over to him again and again. A realization over and over that Seongje only belonged to Baekjin. And Baekjin didn't think there was any other sensible response than accept all of him. In any way he could. Because no one had done it before. Hadn't shown such loyalty to Baekjin in ways unspeakable. Because Baku hadn't. The one Baekjin had tried to give himself to endlessly.

Seongje pulled back from the kiss and leaned his head against Baekjin's. Looked into his eyes while thumbing the skin on Baekjin's waist. Baekjin felt like he couldn't breathe. Might give away too much to do anything. Hands clenched by his sides. Wanting to reach out but wondering if he should. Seongje kept staring into his eyes, the raw uncertainty there. Vulerable. Scared. Baekjin glanced away. Couldn't handle what his own eyes were reflecting in Seongje's.

Seongje stepped away first. Stepped away and ran a hand through his messy hair. Baekjin gaped at him, his heart threatening to rise up his throat and out of his mouth.

When Seongje turned around, Baekjin was gone.

Chapter Text

What the fuck. Seongje couldn't stop repeating the phrase in his head like a broken radio even after they'd ate the dinner in tense silence and averted eyes. He shuffled onto the right side of his bed. Saw Baekjin's back. Shuffled back to his previous position facing the wall. He was supposed to remind Baekjin of their agreement. Not go beyond that. Not show whatever the fuck he did. The scene played out in his mind again, and the disturbing feeling set in his gut.

Fuck.

They were just friends with benefits. No feelings. Not what he'd felt kneeling in front of Baekjin two hours ago. Not what he was feeling right now. That couldn't be right. The thought itself was hilarious. He didn't have feelings for Baekjin. He didn't have feelings in general. But he saw the need in Baekjin's eyes that mirrored his own. The desperation. The fear. Did Baekjin—

Impossible. Wouldn't happen in a million years. The uncomfortable lump rose in his throat. He pushed it down. It rose again. He shifted on to his back. Stared at the dark ceiling of the room. Baekjin. His face. The invisible mask that had fallen off. Exposed like Seongje had been.

He should pack up his bags. Leave as soon as the morning sun shines through the curtains and never look back. He'd live on the streets. Maybe go to his fucking mom's and rot away there. Do anything but face Baekjin again.

That didn't feel right.

He knew he wouldn't be able to do it.

There was another option. They could pretend everything was fine. Forget today ever happened. Ever existed. Because that's what they knew how to do the best. Baekjin must be thinking about how weak Seongje was. Letting his emotions take over him like a fucking noob. But then again, Baekjin had done the same. Laid out all his cards for Seongje to see. He wasn't much better off.

Pathetic. They were both pathetic. He had to do something. This wasn't them. Not the whole ordeal of soft kisses and leaning foreheads together and the gentle touches and the awkward silence. None of it was them. None of it would ever be them.

Sure, Seongje was fucking jealous when the cashier asked for Baekjin's number. But it was only because Seongje wanted to have Baekjin to himself alone. It didn't have anything to do with feelings. It had everything to do with Seongje's selfishness and wanting Baekjin to know no one could ever give it to him as good as he did. And Baekjin, he wasn't supposed to fucking encourage his behavior. Barely fought back the beast. Came when Seongje told him he'd give him a cigarette burn as an ownership mark. What the fuck was that? And the way he swiped Seongje's tears away with his thumb? He wasn't supposed to do that. He was supposed to fight it. Not be into it.

Of course, he was, though. He was just as fucked up as Seongje, if not more. Seongje didn't want to even begin to think about his own actions. Demonstrating to Baekjin that he belonged to him. Wished to be his and his only like a fucking idiot. His eyes opened when he heard a shuffle across the room. He looked to his right. Watched as Baekjin slept on his back, his chest heaving up and down. How the fuck could he sleep after all that had happened?

He sighed and got up. He wasn't going to be able to fall asleep anyway. Might as well play some games to distract himself from going crazy. He lightly paddled to the door and closed it behind him softly.

—oo—

Baekjin heard the footsteps leave the bedroom and opened his eyes to see Seongje's empty bed. He sighed and turned around to face the wall once again.

So he wasn't the only one as affected.

The next morning, Baekjin got up early, took a shower, and went out for a run in the brittle cold. Goosebumps rose on his skin the moment he stepped outside. A great distraction. He ran several miles over an hour and hesitantly made his way back to the apartment. The adrenaline had cleared his mind enough to help him think straight.

Last night happened. But that didn't mean they had to let it change anything going forward, even though that rarely ever worked. They could continue their agreement, right?

He entered the apartment and walked inside his bedroom to see Seongje's bed empty. From the closet, he retrieved a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt that he wasn't sure if it belonged to him or Seongje. He didn't have the time to think through that on top of everything else. Seongje was in the shower. There was a risk of running into him.

He stood up and went to the kitchen. Busied himself with taking out ingredients to start making breakfast. There were leftovers from last night. But he needed something to do. Something that had his mind quieting down and fingers falling into a familiar routine. He turned on the gas stove, set a pan on it, and sprayed oil. The sound of the eggs sizzling on the pan grounded him. Settled the way his ears and eyes had started being hyperaware in case Seongje came in.

The bathroom door opened in the other room, and his back stiffened, hand tightening around the spatula. He heard Seongje go to their bedroom and close the door behind him. He sighed and glanced at the clothes he'd set on the living room couch. The eggs were ready, so he turned off the gast stove and placed the pan on a trivet.

Before he could possibly come across Seongje, he took the clothes with him to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

They couldn't avoid each other forever, obviously. But right now, he wanted to delay it as long as possible.

This was his third shower since yesterday, and no matter how hard he scrubbed the already blistered skin, Seongje's mouth and hands refused to erase from his memory. When he looked in the mirror, he saw the hickeys left by Seongje on his neck. His chest. His torso. His inner thighs. Shame colored the tips of his ears in burning red when the thought that he didn't want the marks to ever heal came into his mind.

When he returned to the living room, Seongje was nowhere to be found. His phone dinged on the nightstand by the couch, and he picked it up. Read the text.

—Going to Daehyun's

He felt relief engulf him with the crippling terror shimmering just at the edges. Seongje had the decency to leave him a text, and it angred him all the more when he felt the same emotion in his gut as he had yesterday. No. Stop thinking.

He went back to the kitchen and saw the pan was untouched. So Seongje hadn't eaten breakfast. That was something to be upset about. As petty as it was.

Seongje was still Seongje. An asshole. Baekjin was still Baekjin. An even bigger of an asshole. Not two peas in a pod. More like two insects trying to eat each other alive and not in the good way.

They didn't do feelings. Feelings were a weakness. A tell. A submission. Softness that neither of them had the capability to harbor. Besides, they agreed on being friends with benefits. Not whatever the fuck this was.

Baekjin sat down the dirty pan and a single dish with a fork in the sink. Cleaned them and then thought about what else he could to keep himself busy.

Laundry. Technically, it was Seongje's turn to do it. But, right now, he couldn't care less about that. He went to their bedroom, took their shared laundry, separated the blacks and the whites methodically, and started the washing machine. His next task was going to clean the whole apartment. Scrub it until his body was exhausted.

He got to work.

First was the floor. It wasn't so dirty, but they didn't clean it frequently so it required the most intense wiping than the rest of the other surfaces. Second was the dining table and the coffee table. It was easy to clean them. Halfway through, he'd remembered the laundry and took it out of the washing machine and shoved it all intot he dryer. Lastly, he cleaned their bedroom nightstands and his desk in the corner. That took up a whole extra hour. And by that time, the laundry was done.

All the wiping surfaces had him feeling extremely filthy unironically, so he took a shower and then came back and got to folding and haning up the laundry. He glanced at the time 1:00 pm. Seongje had been gone for three hours. Despite himself, his hands twitched to grab his phone and ask him what they were having for lunch. For all he knew, Seongje might never come back. And he couldn't even blame him for it.

But he wasn't missing him. No, the place is just felt a little empty without him. Less chaotic, more quiet. The quiet was the most intolerable of it. It reminded him that Seongje wasn't there to fill it. He'd turned on the TV hours ago. A desperate attempt to regain normalcy. If it helped or not was another topic he didn't want to get into.

He got up after staring at Seongje's bed for straight half an hour and began making lunch.

And just as he was getting ready to taste the tofu stew, he heard the front door open and shut with a soft click. Footsteps. Unsure and unlike Seongje's enter the living room. Baekjin almost drops the spoon in his hands in fear that he'll come into the kitchen. He didn't, thankfully.

Instead, Seongje sprawled on to the couch. Scrolled on his phone without looking up once while Baekjin stared. Baekjin busied himself with scooping the rice out. There were no take-out bags, so he's assuming Seongje is eating what he made.

"What are you making?" Seongje called out from the couch, his tone careful. Casual. Curious.

Baekjin relaxed after stiffening up. "Sundubu Jjigae(korean spicy tofu stew)." He heard a low hum behind him. When there wasn't any other reply that followed, he continued dishing the rice.

The stew was ready. Should probably eat it while it's hot.

The words were mindless, but it startled him anyway to have spoken them like nothing had happened. "It's ready."

He paused. Heard Seongje's aggressive clicking do the same on his controller and saw him get up out of the corner of his eyes.

The lunch, as expected, was eventful in the sense that it wasn't the typical chitter chatter and Seongje speaking. It was eaten separately. Baekjin was sitting on the dining table while Seongje sat in front of the TV, watching some youtuber and cursing under his breath.

Wordlessly, when they were done, Seongje helped him do the dishes. The routine act made Bawkjin recoil internally. "Fuck, how long do I have to scrub this stain for it to go away?"

Baekjin looked at him. "Use the dishwasher detergent powder."

Seongje made eye contact for a few seconds, and Baekjin held his breath. Seongje glanced back at the dish and chuckled to himself, shaking his head. "I'm a fucking idiot."

When they were done with the dishes, Baekjin made his way into their bedroom and sat down to study. How long they were going to avoid each other, he didn't know. But it was either this or have an awkward conversation. He was sure Seongje mostly likely wanted the same option.

Since it was winter break, he hadn't necessarily studied himself to death. Had let himself be distracted with Seongje. However, it was time to get back to it, because Seongje was no longer a distraction.

Two minutes later, Seongje was a bigger distraction than anything he'd ever encountered. For the life of him, he could not focus. Bouncing his leg. Kicking his pen. Writing hard enough to rip the paper apart.

It was hell.

Outside his room, he couldn't hear the usual loud noises like he did when Seongje was gaming. Instead, he was using more conversational level. Sometimes, not speaking at all.

It bothered Baekjin to know that Seongje was just as affected as he was. If he wasn't, it would have been easier to bury it down. Know that whatever he was feeling wasn't mutual. But it was, and that complicated things all the more.

Well, he had to do fucking something. If he couldn't focus without Seongje in the room, maybe it might help to be in the same room as him.

He pushed off the chair and went to the living room with his notes. Sat down in the armchair. Noticed the way Seongje's hands faltered on his phone. Ignored it and got back to work.

Seongje went back to play his game and didn't pay him any more mind. In fact, Baekjin observed in real time as he unnecessarily got loud, as if asserting 'control' of his space. His default defense mechanism. Baekjin couldn't even be mad. Even felt comfort at the knowledge that he was trying to regain normalcy again. Felt disappointment that Seongje was unwilling to be more considerate after yesterday. But why should he? It's not like Baekjin did either. Had avoided him all day. Couldn't even meet his eyes.

His jaw slightly tightened, irritation flickering in his eyes. He breathed in deeply and relaxed. No, giving him a reaction would be exactly what he wanted. Trying to see which one of them breaks first. Baekjin would be dead before he gave in.

Seongje only got louder. More cursing. The volume of whatever he was playing was unbearable.

A true testing.

If this was how he was wanting to reestablish their old "relationship", Baekjin really wanted no part of it. It was childish. He stood up and locked himself inside his bedroom again, falling face first on his bed and burying his face in the pillow.

So this will be the new now.

—oo—

They hadn't done anything since that day. No touching. No showering together. A mutual understadning. It made the fact all the more prominent that they couldn't, were unable, to move past what had happened.

School had started again, thankfully, and Baekjin had something to do. To avoid being in the same space as Seongje. The old dynamic was back between them, but everything said and done at the end of day was ruined by the fact that this was all in ignorance of something they both refused to acknowledge.

It was hard to pretend. Baekjin thought it wouldn't be, but it was. Sometimes, he just wanted to grab Seongje by the collar and kiss him. Sometimes, he wanted to sit together the way they used to without overthinking every touch.

The uncomfortable glances were particularly terrifying. Often, they would linger with the stares. Seongje would revert back to the same disinterest he always had in his eyes. Baekjin's would settle back in the same, composed coldness despite being affected.

They were both convinced it would last for a few days. It didn't.

The charged interaction followed them everywhere like a dark shadow. Empty silences. Heated conversations. Sleepless nights.

Those weren't that big of a problem. It was something else entirely.

Seongje had taken to hanging out more and more with Han Daehyun. In fact, most weekends he wasn't home for hours. Of course, he'd try to create distance. Testing Baekjin's limits. Poking him to get a reaction that would get Baekjin admitting he'd felt something before he himself did. Classic Seongje.

Baekjin resisted by going to the orphanage. He would even leave earlier than Seongje in the morning to "mock" him. How much it worked, he wasn't sure. It was more of him trying to stay in control than anything, because he couldn't stop Seongje from doing what he wanted.

Since the weather was getting more warm from the cold of winter, it was nice to get out and walk. The trees were tinting with more colors, the sunsets bidding goodbyes just a little longer into the evening. Birds rising early in the morning with singing.

The walk to the orphanage was almost half an hour. It was enough time to get Baekjin's regular exercise in along with the crispness of the morning air. Clean and fresh. The gates were open when he reached the building and stepped inside.

Ms. Yoon looked up from where she was watering the flowers in the garden beside the playground. She waved him over.

Baekjin's eyes softened as he walked to her.

"Just in time!" Ms. Yoon exclaimed, putting down the green watering can. "The sweet potatoes just finished steaming! Let's go inside."

She tugged Baekjin along by his arm. Baekjin looked down at her bobbing head of salt and pepper hair. "Is it breakfast time?"

"Yes. The kids just woke up." She said as they made their way to the dining hall.

The kids were chit chatting and buzzing with energy as they were served food. Ms. Yoon told him to go sit on the small table by the window at the end of the hall, and he walked over to it. He watched as Ms. Yoon got them both a plate full of breakfast and returned with it. Baekjin stood up to help her set them down. The food was steaming hot and smelled delicious.

"You didn't have to. I had breakfast."

Ms. Yoon shook him off with a careless wave of her hand and a smile on her round shaped face accentuated by the sun shining. "That doesn't count. This is real food. Try it." She insisted.

Baekjin felt the warmth of her words and didn't deny it, taking a bite of the sweet potato first. It was perfectly cooked and brought him right back to childhood when Ms. Yoon would sit down and have it with him. He sighed softly, chewing. "It tastes nostalgic. I haven't had it in a while. Thank you."

"Of course! Don't say 'thank you'! I remember when you were a kid, you'd run away with yours because you didn't like sharing." Ms. Yoon laughed with genuine joy.

Baekjin's lips pulled up at the memory, nodding. "I caused a lot of trouble."

"Not trouble. You were just..quiet. Preferred to stay on your own." Ms. Yoon smiled gently, taking a small portion of rice in her mouth.

Baekjin hesitated. Wondered if it was right to tell her about it. Glanced away. Stayed quiet.

Ms. Yoon noticed his solemn expression and raised a brow. "Why do you look all gloomy?"

Baekjin shook his head, ate the rest of his sweet potato so he wouldn't be forced to talk.

Ms. Yoon sighed heavily, wiping her lips with a napkin. "My dad always told me: Eun-Ji, if you ever feel like you're carrying a burden on your shoulders all alone, share it with someone. Tell a stranger. Tell your friends or your family. It'll make it easier to carry it."

Baekjin listened to her words. Considered them. "It's about the friend I brought along last year. Something happened."

Ms. Yoon hummed, nodding. She lifted her brows. "A fight?"

Beakjin shook his bowed head. "Not really. It's not about what happened. It's about how it made me…feel."

"And how did it make you feel?" The older woman asked.

Well. That was the hard part. He didn't know. Or maybe he did, but he didn't want to admit it.

So Baekjin gave her silence in response.

Ms. Yoon hummed, a small smile on her lips. "Can you describe how it made you feel?"

Baekjin swallowed. Fuck. Well, he has to go through with it. "Like I wanted to run away, but also stay. And I don't know how to make it all go back to normal."

"Maybe it's not about making it go back to 'normal'. Maybe try accepting it for what it is now. This new feeling."

"And then what? It doesn't feel right. I've never felt this way." Baekjin admitted, uncomfortable.

Ms. Yoon stayed quiet for a second. "That's why it feels wrong and unsettling, because it's new. But it doesn't mean you have to stop feeling that way. Or make things go back to the way it was."

"I'm not supposed to feel this way. I…what if he doesn't feel the same way?" Baekjin asked, looking into her eyes.

Ms. Yoon saw the vulnerability. The fear. Sighed and smiled fondly. "It's not about what you're supposed to feel, Jin-ah. You just feel, like every other human does. And the thought of him not feeling the same way is frightening. But it's normal to feel that way."

"It might change everything."

"It could be a good change. It could be a bad change. You won't know until you try. You'll face it head on like you've faced every challenge in your life." Ms. Yoon reached out her hand and placed it on his. Giving a light squeeze.

Baekjin frowned down at the table slightly.

He heard a chuckle and looked up. "I remember the first time I felt like this. But you can't control these things. You can't control your heart, Baekjin. You have to learn to live with what it feels."

Baekjin nodded.

—oo—

"Fuck, what the fuck are you doing, asshole?!" Daehyun yelled, glancing at Seongje beside him as he smashed his controller.

Seongje leaned forward, scowling. "You were supposed to cover me, bastard."

The TV made a noise as their characters got taken down.

Seongje threw the controller on the coffee table and snatched his ramen bowl, shoving the noodles inside his mouth. Daehyun slumped back against the couch, glaring at the back of Seongje's head.

Seongje stared at the TV, seemingly way less upset than Daehyun for a game they'd be playing for three straight hours.

"What the fuck is going on?" Daehyun frowned, getting his own abandoned ramen and took a mouthful of it. "Girl trouble?" He swallowed.

Seongje snorted, looking sideways at him. "I'm not you." He grinned.

Daehyun rolled his eyes. "Fuck off. You're jealous because you don't get any."

"I don't want any, fucker." Seongje laughed.

Daehyun raised a quiet brow. "Right. Because you have Baekjin to give you enough trouble." He smirked, remembering the time Baekjin had used his key to sneak into the alley. "Lovers quarrel~" He sing songed.

Seongje took the controller back in his hand, scoffing. "It's the horrible connection. Nothing to do with him. And he's not my fucking lover, idiot."

"Highly fucking debatable. If it's not about him, why do you keep coming here every weekend and not leaving until it's night?"

Seongje glared at him. "Because your place is way fucking bigger than Baekjin's. And I don't have to be around his nagging telling me to keep quiet all the time." His shoulders had tensed as if he were ready to fight if Daehyun kept poking the subject.

Clearly, it was a touchy topic. Daehyun was nothing if not persistent. He smiled. "Listen here, you little shit. Whatever the fuck happened, it's not gonna fix itself. Either you fight him or talk to him."

Seongje's gaze was blank as it met Daehyun's. "Since when did you start being mature?"

Daehyun shoved him. "Since I started being surrounded by fucking idiots. Have respect, I'm older than you."

"Fuck off." Seongje shoved him back.

Daehyun laughed, shoving him harder.

It soon turned into a fight. Inevitably.

—oo—

The whole idea of "accepting his feelings" was as challenging as not correcting a math problem. It took all of Baekjin to not just ignore Seongje and be in another room. It was confusing to keep feeling like his heart was on the verge of coming out of his throat any moment Seongje got too close. Weeks ago, they could be around each other without thinking. Now, every moment felt like giving away too much and not enough all at once. Interactions happened with a certain intensity that had Baekjin holding his breath. It wasn't so much as anticipation as it was anxiety for the reaction to what might happen.

Baekjin sat on his desk chair as he worked through his homework, absolute silence in the room occasionally broken by Seongje's grunting or cursing from his bed. Tapping away. Baekjin had learned to live with the permanent sounds coming from him. Out of the ocnrer of his eye, he saw as Seongje tossed his phone away, snatched it back when he got a notification, chuckled to himself, threw it away again and shifted his position to lay on his back with a drawn out sigh.

Clearly, he was bored out of his mind.

Baekjin's eyes tracked back to the words on the white paper again. It was 11 pm. His eyes were getting droopy. He couldn't fall asleep yet, however, work must be done.

After a few minutes, something hit the floor loudly, startling Baekjin from his sleep induced focus. He blinked and turned his head to Seongje.

"Oops, did I disturb you?" Seongje asked, tilting his head in the feigned innocence act he liked to put on, an underlying smirk making its way on to his lips.

Baekjin was in no mood to entertain him. He sighed wearily. Closed his open laptop. Did the same with the rest of the materials, and got up to take a shower.

Seongje watched him go, smirk faltering. Unusually quiet. The sigh wasn't like the one he gave when he was annoyed. He just seemed tired. He sighed and closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

Baekjin stared under the kitchen sink in puzzlement. The pipe had started leaking since the morning. He'd turned off the water and checked if it kept leaking even without water being transported through it. It did. He flashed the light from his phone on it to see if a part of it was broken anywhere. Nothing. Everything seemed to be fine, yet water was dripping from someplace unknown. Maybe it wasn't connected to the drain properly. He fastened it. Didn't work. By that time, he was irritated. He sat back on the floor with his legs crossed, frowning.

"How did you go from studying to fixing pipes?" Seongje cackled, walking in with his hand busy in a bag of snack.

Baekjin looked up at him, deadpanning.

Seongje smirked, leaning down to his level. His eyes glanced down at Baekjin's lips before quickly averting to the leaking pipe. He stood up and turned on the water. Water started pouring down the pipe frantically.

"You think I didn't try that?" Baekjin asked, annoyed.

Seongje snorted. "Well, this is new territory for you." He grinned, bending down again. "Leave this to the experts, mhmm?"

Baekjin moved away from the spot to let Seongje sit down beside him. Seongje got on his knees and twisted his head down to look inside. His back was directly in front of Baekjin's face. He had to be doing it intentionally. Baekjin blinked. Didn't move away.

Seongje muttered something under his breath about faulty sinks. A second later, water sprayed wildly on to Seongje and Baekjin's side. Seongje cursed a string of words, pulling back and getting out of the way. Baekjin startled away as well, eyes widened as they stared at the water going wild directly on to the opposite kitchen counter.

Baekjin looked down at himself. The left side of him was soaked wet. He looked up and found Seongje in a worse condition, sink water dripping from his head down to his glasses and his whole torso. He almost puked and unironically felt a laugh form in his throat.

"Fix this." He warned Seongje who still seemed to be in a shock, making his way to the bathroom and locked it behind him.

When he came back in fresh clothes, keeping a reasonable distance from the kitchen, he saw Seongje's glasses off and a stranger working under the sink. Seongje turned to him. Soaked hair and everything, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Don't worry. I paid with your wallet." He winked, passing by him, not without a pat of his hand on Baekjin's shoulder purporsefully.

Baekjin tensed up at the unexpected touch. And then sighed loudly, closing his eyes.

—oo—

"This is so boring. Can we watch something else for once?" Seongje asked, his leg reaching out to poke Baekjin's calf before thinking better of it and retreating it, coughing as he sat up properly.

Baekjin sensed the movement from his glance sideways. Felt disappointment he didn't go through with it. Ignored it. Focused on the TV in front of them. "You picked this."

"Because you said it's good!" Seongje glared at him as if scandalized.

Baekjin sighed and got the remote control. "What do you want to watch?"

Seongje tilted his head. "Do I finally get a voice in this household?"

"We're watching this." Baekjin declared, running out of patience.

"No. Wait. Let's watch…Harry Potter." Seongje said, watching keenly for Baekjin's reaction to this new bit of information. He delighted in the slight surprise that flickered in Baekjin's eyes, chuckling to himself.

Baekjin stared at him for a few moments, speechless. Harry Potter? Seongje was wanting to watch a bunch of wizards go around and cause havoc? Was he hearing that right? Is this what Ms. Yoon was talking about when she said everything might change? Absolutely ridiculous. "You want to watch Harry Potter?" He asked to confirm.

Seongje rolled his eyes. Felt like he was exposing a very secret part of him he really shouldn't be. But then again, the other option was to fight Baekjin for the remote control. As much as that sounded fun, he didn't wanna do it. Obviously because he was too tired. "It's good or whatever. Watched it when I was in like middle school." He snatched the remote from Baekjin's hand and changed the channels, avoiding his eyes.

Baekjin tried not to just bluntly stare at him in disbelief, but it was quite hard not to.

—oo—

"It's not rocket science." Baekjin commented, observing Seongje try to figure out how to write the correct equation to a question.

Seongje narrowed his eyes at him. "It's literally physics, the mother of rocket science."

Baekjin sighed as if he'd heard that one before. He had. He'd also shown Seongje how to write the correct formula about a hundred times before.

"Explain it again." Seongje said, sliding his notebook back to Baekjin.

Baekjin was thinking Seongje was doing this just for his amusement. It was getting late. He wanted to sleep, not tutor Seongje. Last time, he told himself and then he'd go to bed.

He started talking again. After a minute, he glanced up to see Seongje wasn't even listening. Instead, he was staring at Baekjin in silence as if he were hypnotized just by Baekjin's talking. Baekjin froze, feeling the tips of his ears warm with color. And then, Seongje chuckled. "Nerd." He said, smirking softly.

Baekjin blinked, jaw tightening slightly. He rotated his chair, the sudden action causing their knees to brush together. Baekjin glanced up at Seongje. Saw him staring down at the point of contact with an eyebrow raised. Baekjin didn't move. Couldn't move. Sat there with his breath caught in his thorat, the warmth of the touch a familiar ache to his system.

He pushed the chair back and broke the contact, busying himself with organizing everything on his desk. Felt Seongje's gaze on him as he moved about. Questioning why they had to stop. He knew the answer as much as Baekjin did.

The accidental touches kept happening. A brush of hands when they stacked the dirty dishes in the dishwasher in synchrony or the slight closing of distance between them on the couch every time they sat down until they were a foot away from touching. Even the deliberate grazing of their shoulder as they passed by on their way to and fro the bathroom. Every touch created the need for more. But it wasn't from sexual frustration, it was the constant want to be in each other's space all the time no matter what they were doing. While eating, while watching something, while just exisiting. It felt as important as breathing to be in close proximity.

They didn't talk about the obvious elephant in the room. Never once had either of them spoke up about that night a few weeks ago. And Baekjin wasn't sure if it was doing them good or worse. But he thought that easing back into what they had before was enough now, even if everything felt a little different. The mutual understanding was there.

There were four months of school left. And then they'd be asking themselves what was next. Baekjin knew what he wanted to do. Go to coellge. Study. Seongje still didn't know, and he wasn't even that bothered about it.

"I could become a gamer, you know. Stream on YouTube." Seongje nodded, as if that was exactly the answer to the problem.

Baekjin raised a quiet brow in skepticism. "It can't be your main job. It takes time to get earn money from it."

Seongje leaned forward with his legs crossed on the couch, "How do you know that?"

Baekjin rolled his eyes, sighing. "I'm up to date with the internet."

"I thought you didn't care about the internet." Seongje rose a brow.

"I don't, but it doesn't mean I'm ignorant of it."

Seongje hummed, staring at him.

"What?"

"I mean, I can continue my job half-time and stream half-time."

"So you'd be living here. In the apartment." Baekjin stated.

Seongje chuckled. "Where else would I go?"

"And I'd be living in a dorm." Baekjin finished, eyeing as he saw Seongje's smug smile fall off his lips. He turned his head away. Well, it would be inevitable for them to keep breathing in the same space. They'd have to separate.

"Or you can just keep living here and commute to your college or university, whatever." Seongje suggested, uncrossing him legs and shifting closer to Baekjin, thighs brushing together.

Baekjin thought about it. It was hard to, because Seongje was staring at him with slight hope in his eyes. He tried to ignore it, but it was there. And Seongje was daring him to not look away. To say 'yes'. He wanted to, but he wasn't himself sure where he was going to study. He couldn't just pick the nearest college for convenience. He swallowed and stood up, Seongje's eyes following him.

"We still have time to decide." Baekjin concluded, walking to the kitchen.

Seongje frowned, trailing behind him. He felt the uncertainty behind Baekjin's words. Like he wasn't so sure they would be living together. "Well, just think about it."

Baekjin nodded silently. When he turned around, Seongje was standing an inch away from him. He blinked. "You're in my way."

Seongje grinned. "Am I? Why don't you move me?"

That would require touching him. Properly. He hadn't done that in weeks. The touching of their knees or the warmth of him on the couch didn't count. He was asking. Waiting. For Baekjin to make a move and do what they both wanted to for a long time. He could take that step. Or back out.

The even more obvious answer was just side stepping him. So he did.

Seongje's smirk widened. Fine. He clearly was struggling not to touch Seongje. The slight tightening of his jaw. The way his posture had stiffened up, hands twitching by his sides. So awfully predictable. It wasn't annoyance, though. It was resistance. Fear of getting carried away again like they had last time. Seongje couldn't find it in him to blame the bastard. He himself was being terribly cautious, stepping on glass everytime his eyes so much as met Baekjin's.

It wasn't the tap-dancing around each other that was inherently tiring, it was the expectation of when the dam would finally break loose, and one of them might admit to having feelings for the other. With the way it was going right now, Seongje was increasingly sure it might just be him. Because he was nothing if not impatient.

He watched as Baekjin poured water into the rice cooker and sighed heavily, walking back to the living room. His phone dings beside him, and he reads the text from Daehyun:

—Yo, can I come over yours this weekend?

—Old man's getting on my nerves

Seongje glanced at Baekjin. His back was turned as he cut something. Focused but not tense. His eyes drew back to his phone. Seongje had been crashing at Daehyun's when he needed space. So he kind of owed it to him to do the same. Would Baekjin be okay with— It doesn't matter. He paid half of the rent. He had as much ownership of the apartment as he did. If it bothered Baekjin, he could just lock himself in the bedroom. Even as he thought that, though, something inside him told it was unfair to not ask him. Unfair, fair, whatever. Seongje didn't care. He replied:

—Yeah sure man, bring your console

Daehyun reponded in a minute:

—Done

Seongje leaned back, watching Baekjin. Baekjin looked up, making eye contact. "Han Daehyun's coming over today." He said, causually. It came out more of a question than a statement, but Baekjin stared at him nonetheless.

Baekjin wasn't sure if Seongje was asking or telling him. He was pretty sure it was the latter, because it was Seongje. He didn't ask for things. He demanded them. Either way, the answer was, "Why?" He asked, putting a lid on the pot and taking off his apron as he finished the cooking part. He took out the dishes.

Seongje narrowed his eyes. He was asking 'why'? He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Because I pay half of the rent, and I can invite whoever I want."

Baekjin raised a quiet brow. Seongje was being defensive, his jaw twitching as he gazed back at Baekjin. He could tell him he had an equal part in paying the rent and say no, but knew that was out of his own selfish desires to not have anyone in the apartment than anything else. And it was Han Daehyun of all people, a person that kept getting on his nerves every time he thought about him being in the same proximity as Seongje. He had been. Every past weekend. And now, this one too. He shoved the sickening pang of jealousy away. Wouldn't do him any good. Seongje wasn't going to sleep with him. Fuck.

"Fine." Baekjin said, going back to what he was doing. He felt Seongje watch him, eyes pinched into slits, looking for any type of reaction. Searching. As he did, always. Baekjin was beginning to think this was some ploy to make him jealous and get a rise out of him, but the way Seongje was acting, he wasn't sure it was. And that made everything worse, because that meant he genuinely wanted Daehyun's presence in the apartment.

It didn't matter.

Seongje nodded to himself, slightly taken off guard by Baekjin agreeing so easily. He thought Baekjin would put up more of a fight. "Great." He said, dryly.

—oo—

Baekjin was long buried in his school work after having lunch when the doorbell rang. He paused, glanced up. Heard Seongje's scattering footsteps get closer to the front door before opening it. The moment Han Daehyun entered the apartment, Baekjin knew the rest of his day was ruined.

Han Daehyun was loud. His voice carried from the entrance to his bedroom enough to decipher exactly what he was saying. He heard the causual cursing being passed between him and Seongje and grimaced to himself. He was increasingly thinking that that might have been solely the reason Seongje had chose him as his right-hand man. Because they were both as obnoxious. He sighed to himself. Did some breathing excercises as he heard the sound of snacks being thrown carelessly onto the coffee table. If they made a mess, Baekjin would be sure to fight Daehyun to make him clean it.

Five minutes passed, and Baekjin couldn't focus even with his headphones on. They were playing games and getting unbelievably rowdy like howler monkeys in a forest. He could either go out and tell them to be more quiet or better yet, leave the apartment and go to a cafe to study. But no, why should he have to leave? This was his apartment as much as it was Seongje's. He had the right to tell them to shut the fuck up.

He got up and walked out of the room, coming face to face with the crime scene that was his living room. He stared at the back of two heads. They both had a similar structure that if you didn't know one of them very well, you wouldn't be able to tell who was who. But Baekjin could. Seongje was on the left. He walked up to the couch and stood on the side.

Daehyun was the first to notice him, in the middle of chewing something. He swallowed, lifting his eyebrows. Seongje was so engrossed, he still couldn't tell a breathing human being was standing right beside him. Daehyun nudged him, and Seongje cursed. "What the fuck are you doing? Stop standing there like a lunatic!" He said, without looking at Daehyun.

Daehyun shoved him, nodding his head up towards Baekjin. Seongje turned his head to Baekjin and startled a little, laughing. "Fuck!" Daehyun snorted beside him in shared amusement. "What?" He asked, taking off his headset.

Baekjin seriously had the urge to kill the both of them and then himself. "You're being too loud." He blinked, throwing a glare at Daehyun next to him.

Seongje stared at him, a hint of guilt flashing behind his eyes before disppearing just as quickly as it appeared. He smirked. "And? Not all of us are quiet little robots, you know? It's called having fun."

So he was being an asshole, when Baekjin had been nothing but nice. Letting him invite his little friend over and game like they were fucking twelve. Well, Baekjin could be worse than him. His voice stayed low and controlled as he said, "I didn't realize being quiet was equivalent to being a robot. And being loud and annoying isn't having fun, it's a desperate call for help."

Daehyun glanced between them, supressing a laugh. Did they never stop having their lovers' quarrel? He nudged Seongje. "Sorry. We'll keep it down." He said, turning back to the TV and putting his headphones back on.

Seongje stayed silent, the words hitting perhaps a little too close to home. Something that reminded him of his mom's words. An ugly echo. His eyes regarded Baekjin with his head tillted upwards. A second later, he grinned and then started laughing lowly. He had the nerve to say Seongje needed help? Did someone forget to look in the mirror this morning? He stood up, came chest to chest with Baekjin.

A desperate call for help echoed loudly in his ears as the memory flooded in. 'What is this, Seongje? A call for help?' His mom had asked after having he'd gotten suspended because of a fight.

Baekjin flinched as Seongje got up in his face and murmured dangerously low, "You think you know me? You think you know anything about me? Repeat that, you asshole."

Baekjin's eyes widening slightly when he saw the sheer amount of rage seeping from Seongje, his words cold.

Daehyun got up behind Seongje quickly. "Woah, woah, chill guys. Let's talk this out, yeah?" He got up between them, pushing them apart.

Seongje was still glaring at him, his posture indicating he was ready for a fight. Baekjin felt confused. Felt the twisting hint of guilt at the realization that he hadn't just hit a nerve. He'd unleashed possibly something worse. A wound.

Seongje came forward even as Daehyun stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "I need help? Have you fucking seen yourself?" He chuckled with nothing in his eyes, his body shaking with his laughter.

Baekjin told himself not to take the words personally. Seongje was deflecting. A frequent response to hiding vulnerability. He stayed quiet. Tried to understand the turmoil that was Seongje lashing out.

He watched as Seongje shook off Daehyun's hand and left, slamming the front door behind him. Baekjin stared at the floor, eyebrows slightly frowned.

Daehyun looked at Baekjin, sensing the tension. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and took a step forward until Baekjin met his gaze. "Dude, stop standing there. Go follow him!" He said, his hand extended towards the front door.

Baekjin blinked, his mind short-circuting from flight or freeze response. His feet moved on their own, as if awakened from a coma.

Daehyun watched the door close behind Baekjin and sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Idiots."