Work Text:
Osamu learned from a young age that nothings forever. His secret stash of pudding wasn't a secret forever because his twin was a fox and loved snooping around stuff, his love for volleyball wasn't there forever because he realized that someone will always be better than him and that no one knows him for himself, his dad didn't stay with them forever so their ma had to work her ass off to provide for them, atsumu didn't stay with him forever because he knew that his twin had a brighter future. Osamu learned that nothing stays forever and he accepted it.
But when Osamu met Suna, he hoped that he would stay forever.
They started dating in their second year of high school, been through a lot, and as much as Atsumu hates it— he loves seeing his brother so happy. He trusted Suna with Osamu, much more than life itself. So when Osamu appeared in front of their dorm, full on sobbing. And the sound of Osamu's "Tsumu.." broke Atsumu's heart.
"Samu, ya good now?" Atsumu asked as he sat beside his brother, the bed creaking as he sat. Osamu finally calmed down, he leaned towards Atsumu who wrapped his arms around the younger.
"We broke up."
The words.
It was only three words, yet Osamu felt his throat tighten, tears threating to spill out, his heart dropping to his stomach, god he felt awful. He glanced at Atsumu who was eerie silent, pupils dilated as he stared at Osamu
"What?"
Osamu watched as Atsumu's face was slowly painted with pain— did Atsumu actually feel Osamu's pain? maybe twin telepathy was actually real.
"Osamu, what happened? Ya been datin' fer a decade.." Atsumu whispered, afraid it'll break Osamu more.
It was a peaceful day for the couple.
Suna decided to sleep at Osamu's place, they made love all night, and had a very slow yet loving morning.
Osamu should've know something was wrong.
"Samuuu" Suna whined as he wrapped his hands around Osamu's waist while the other was changing "Don't wan'ta go out, let's just stay inside today"
"nuh uh"
Suna whined in response, but stayed silent as he watched Osamu change. He watched as Osamu laughed at something stupid while picking some clothes, he watched Osamu.
Osamu should've known something wasn't right.
They walked around, stopped by a café, talked about the times they played, and did actually play for a little while. Osamu had to admit Suna was still great at hitting his sets. Although Osamu was a wing spiker back in their prime, setting was actually something he enjoyed but had to let go because his twin was so much better than him.
Hand in hand they walked around the park, silence filling them. Osamu had to drag Suna in a nearby bench, feeling tired. Nervousness filled his veins. He never felt this nervous, he wasn't even this nervous when he told Atsumu he didn't want to play after high school, wasn't this nervous when he had si culinary exam for the first time or when he opened his restaurant.
But maybe because it was Suna, the Suna who bought light to his dark life again. The Suna who saw him. Suna who he swore he'd love forever, till death do them part.
"Samu," Suna reached out for his hand, rubbing their promise ring on Osamu's right ring finger. "I love 'ya"
"I love ya too rin" Osamu smiled as he held Suna's hand tightly. " 's something wrong, my love?"
Suna stared at him, and Osamu should've known.
"Let's.. let's break up Samu."
Osamu felt his air leave his lungs, he couldn't breathe. His felt his heart drop to his stomach, he couldn't breathe. He felt his hand tremble yet Suna didn't let go.
"Samu.."
"why?" Osamu asked. He doesn't know what he was asking, but he asked as he tried not to cry, "Why in a public place ya scum. We could've done this somewhere better—"
"Samu." Suna called, this time he made Osamu face him, those calloused hands that Osamu knew better than his own, they felt so far, so foreign.
"Why're ya leavin' me, rin?" Osamu asked the question he had always asked when those he thought was forever was slowly slipping out his hands.
"Tsumu! How'd 'ya find my secret stash?!" he barked as he found Atsumu eating one of his precious puddings "Why 'ya eating my pudding 'ya scum?!" and in response Atsumu lied saying he didn't, and Osamu ignored him for three weeks until Atsumu had to buy him new pudding.
"Here 'ya go scum." Atsumu mumbled as he handed Osamu the pudding "Sorry.."
"Why.. why can't i love volleyball like Tsumu?" Osamu sobbed his Aran's arms, "Why is my love for volleyball leavin' me too?" he asked as he felt Aran's arms wrap around him. He held on Aran as if the answer was there— as if Aran knew the answer.
"I'm sorry, Samu.." Aran whispered.
"Why're 'ya leavin' us pa?" Osamu asked as he watched his father pack his stuff. His pa didn't answer but Osamu knew. Maybe love wasn't enough for his father, it wasn't enough to make him stay.
"Yer leavin'?" Osamu asked, looking up from his culinary book. Atsumu stayed silent as he hugged his him, refusing to let go "I'll drive 'ya, just tell me where."
When Osamu asked them why, they never answered, but Osamu knew the answers. But right now, all he can think about is how his heart was shattered again.
"Rin." Osamu pleaded, looking for answers in Suna's fox like eyes. "Rin, answer me, please."
"i want a family of my own."
Oh.
Osamu gave his everything to Suna, his heart, his plans, his future. But he had always lacked something, and this time he knows he can't give it. Sure he knew Suna loved children, but he never knew he wanted children of his own.
"If only i was a woman right rin?If only then i wouldn't be this broken" Osamu chuckled, pulling his hand away. Looking at his Suna, he knew. He knew that there was no other option but to let go. Just like before.
"Can 'ya kiss me for the last time, rin?" he asked selflessly. He wanted to feel loved, wanted to feel Suna's lips before it belongs to someone else, wanted to feel something, anything.
Suna kissed him, under the soft rays of the sun setting behind them, his touch soft, delicate, painful. When they pulled away, Suna took of their promised ring from his own finger, slipping it in Osamu's ring finger where his own ring was.
"The last piece of me, want it ta' stay with yer." he whispered as he gave Osamu's hand one last squeeze, before finally letting go. " 'm so sorry, Samu."
"When did 'yer think of breakin' up with me?" Osamu asked, looking down as he watched his ringed finger have two rings now.
"Few months back, talked with Motoya about his girlfriend and how they're plannin' to get married soon and i..." he trailed off.
Osamu didn't want to hear anything else so he stood up, hugged Suna for the last time before he pulled back to connect their foreheads.
"Thank 'ya for the 10 years Rin, I'll always love 'ya okay?" he stopped as he took a shaky breath. "When 'yer married, invite me. Until then, stay healthy ya idiot, don't 'ya forget to eat okay? And keep'on playin'."
He pulled back, stared at Suna, those fox like eyes looking back at him. He remembers the first time he saw them, he fell in love. And now, this might be last time he'd see them face to face, he still loves him.
"I hope ya live the life 'ya want'to rin. And I'm sorry." Osamu smiled before he finally pulled away, walking away with his hands inside his pockets. He was stupid when he prayed that Suna would run after him, hug him and say that he didn't want anyone but him. But Suna never did, he never ran after Osamu.
Took a train to Osaka, tears threating to spill as he watched the tress pass by, his heart breaking, and he knows there's no one that could heal and patch it up again.
"Guess 'm dyin' alone then" he thought, closing his eyes as the pain twist his stomach. He felt like throwing up, god breakups really are awful aren't they?
Osamu watched Suna from his seat, watched as the bride walk down the lane he found himself day dreaming that it was him walking down instead of her.
Watched as they said they're vows, love in the air. Osamu once again found himself day dreaming that it was him instead of her
Watched as Suna kissed his bride— someone Osamu wished was him instead.
He was selfish.
Selfish and alone.
Osamu dated Suna for 10 years, gave him all the love he needed and will probably do it for life— without suna knowing.
Osamu knew from a young age that nothing stays forever, and if high school Osamu thought that Suna would stay forever, well, he didn't.
Osamu loved Suna, but not enough for him to stay beside Osamu forever.