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Everyone should totally go check out Trouble Follows by AriRashkae, written about these assholes and a cat! It's super duper cute!!
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Felix lay back on his ratty old futon and stared up at the ceiling. The only reason he’d been able to do so was because as a fancy walk-in closet his room actually had a light. Which was really the only saving grace of the whole situation. It smelled like shit, and after sleeping on a real bed (even if it was a shitty bunk) the futon was disgusting. It wasn’t even one of those nice ones they made now, it was a slightly padded matt. He realised, basically, it was an oversized dog bed. He’d had it as long as he could remember, which made it even more disgusting when he thought about it. Not that the floor would be better. At least on the matt his spine wasn’t digging into the hardwood. And at least he had a light.
He’d managed to get out for most of the previous night by wedging an eraser in the lock so it couldn’t latch properly. He’d thought it was pretty clever, it gave him a decent amount of time to dig through files and set things up.
He’d almost burst out laughing when after three hours of useless garbage he’d finally found a file that was his. Fan Li Lau born December 28, at 11:57AM. The father’s name was blank, but he hadn’t really been expecting an answer to that mystery. The concept of his father was… abstract. He knew that, at least somewhere around 9 months before Felix was born he was alive, through some set of circumstances best left unimagined he’d had sex with Felix’s mother, and then there were no facts. His mother had claimed the man was now in prison, but his mother claimed a lot of things. It was hard to tell what was true and what was made up to make Felix feel more like a monster. Or true but told in a way that made him feel like a monster. It’s not like she ever said what he was in prison for. Felix had done lots of things that might earn a person prison time. Assault for one, he was pretty guilty of, he’d dabbled a bit in theft and fraud…
Mostly Felix just considered his father dead. It was easier that way. Then he didn’t have to think about him existing somewhere. Which, somehow, was more unnerving than the idea of the man being dead. Maybe because somehow it would seem like there was someone out there with a claim on his life in a way. He was someone’s son or something… Well he was already someone’s son, but someone else’s son. He’d never once actually spoken to his grandparents, he heard his mother arguing with them plenty. But they had no interest in him. Illegitimate bastard that he was, he was something to be hidden. They didn’t believe in abortions, but apparently they didn’t believe in giving a fuck either apparently.
Felix doubted a lot that they were worth meeting. They’d have to be a special sort of monster in order to raise his mother and uncle. He had enough family in his life already. If he really wanted to fuck with them he could try to claim his actual identity.
Apparently they were a big deal in China. That’s why the children unsuited for the public eye came to America. The pregnant teen and the pedophile got to go be someone else’s problem. He could probably embarrass the fuck out of his mother’s parents if he found a way to announce that.
But in the end he really, really didn’t care. As soon as he graduated he was cutting every tie with this family he could. He even considered getting his name legally changed. It wasn’t like he wanted his mother’s name. Maybe he’d ask Locus for ideas.
He wasn’t sure what day it was anymore. He’d shoved his files in his messenger bag, raided a hidey-hole he’d found along the way of looking for his documentation, and was about to book it when his mother had woken up. She hadn’t taken his bag, just hit him very hard with a bottle upside the back of his head and thrown him back in his room. Eraser was dug out and the door was locked for real.
At least he’d booked a hotel room first, she had about three credit cards and she ordered things without much rhyme or reason sometimes. The bank wasn’t going to flag a big purchase and ask for clarification, his mother did things like this. Stayed at hotels at random so she wouldn’t have to listen to Felix pound on the door. Redecorated whole rooms, and not with cheap shit. She’d apparently ‘mourned’ her brother by investing in a whole new entertainment room. After all she no longer had to split her allowance with him. She took money out at random too, just in case one day her parents would realise she was a drunk leech and cut her off after years of supporting her being a terrible person. Judging by how much money was stashed in her hidey-holes suddenly withdrawing thousands of dollars worth of cash was normal… A hotel room for two months? Who the fuck would care?
And if they did care maybe they wouldn’t care until he was back at school. Once he was back at school they could launch all the investigation they wanted. By then he would have had a great summer and wouldn’t care anymore.
It was probably the next morning by now, Felix could hear his mother moving around the hallways. Was this a week in? It seemed pretty close to it… Locus would probably show up for him soon.
He worried that something might happen to Locus because of it. Someone calling the cops or something, trying to press charges. He was pretty sure if it came to that he could just lead the police to his room and Locus wouldn’t have to worry anymore but… Then he’d have to deal with the fallout from that. So he hoped nothing major happened.
His head was really starting to hurt though, she’d hit him pretty good with the bottle. He hoped Locus was going to be here soon. The first thing he was doing once they were out of here was take a shower. A week in a grungy room with only the clothes on his back and no hygiene products was… How had he even managed before Charon?
Thinking on it his mother hadn’t always locked him up at all times. And at some point he’d had clothes. Otherwise someone would have called child services. Food was always an issue, he knew that, he remembered hunger so vividly it hurt. Possibly because he was hungry right now and it did hurt. He’d had showers and clothes as a kid. Maybe it was just because it was summer now, and he had Charon the rest of the year. Where had his clothes from Junior High ended up? He had an image in his head of his mother burning them out back while drinking to celebrate his absence.
Step two once Locus got him out, once he was showered and in clean clothes, was going to be food. Or maybe hotel would have to take priority, but soon afterward food. Felix was so hungry he felt like he was going to throw up. Which seemed like a really bullshit reaction to hunger but he was pretty used to it. What was the point of feeling like vomiting when what you needed was to eat? Whoever designed the human body made a lot of mistakes.
There was shouting outside his door. Somewhere in the house his mother was shouting profanely and Felix grinned widely and sprung to his feel. It was a mistake to do that so quickly, he had to brace on the wall when his head started to spin. Footsteps were approaching though, and so was his mother’s voice. He walked to the door as the lock clicked open and Locus opened the door.
“Sup, asshole?” Felix grinned and Locus smirked a little.
“You took too long.” Locus held out a hand and Felix took it, his mother was still screaming at them.
“Look you don’t even want me here, now I’m leaving!” Felix snapped in Mandarin. His mother glared at him, but seemed to remember that Locus was very capable of blocking any hit she tried to throw. “Just enjoy your empty house or something you stupid bitch.”
His mother looked like she’d bit into a lemon, but she seemed to be weighing whether she liked hurting Felix more than she liked quiet. “Fine, I hope you die!”
She probably did, so he flipped her off and dragged Locus back out of the house as she called more insults after them.
“Your head is bleeding.” Locus said softly when they finally came to a stop down the street.
“Is it?” Felix made a face and started patting his head, finding the spot where it stung with a hiss. “Oh. How big is it? I really don’t want stitches. Again.”
Locus gently pulled his hair back and looked it over. “We can probably handle it but we should clean it.”
“We should clean me.” Felix winced and stepped back. “Goddamn I probably smell awful. I know I look like shit.”
“We need to swing by my foster home to pick up our bags anyway. You can shower there.” Locus offered and took Felix’s hand again.
“Yeah then I look presentable when I check into the hotel.” Felix nodded and let Locus lead the way.
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“I know it’s less luxury than the last one, no tub in the living room.” Felix grinned as they put their bags on the bed to sort out.
“I think we’ll manage not being able to watch TV in the bath.” Locus said dryly and looked around. The hotel Felix had booked had a bedroom, a living room, a kitchen and a bathroom. It seemed more like an apartment than a hotel room. “Somehow I think this one cost more, though.”
“Yeah.” Felix laughed and looked around. “It totally did. Still not enough to raise flags though.”
Locus didn’t think he was ever going to feel fully comfortable just taking Felix’s mother’s money, no matter how often Felix explained that it didn’t matter. Though rubbing antibiotic cream on the cut on the back of his head once he got out of the shower had made it a little easier. Sometimes he just had to remember she’d broken Felix’s arm and it didn’t seem like too much of a crime.
“Look! Look!” Felix dragged a manilla folder out of his messenger bag and held up a paper. “I was born at 11:57AM.”
“You found it.” Locus smiled and walked over to look over the paperwork. “I didn’t realise Felix wasn’t your birth name.”
“Really? You heard my mom call me it…” Felix blinked and put the paper back in the folder.
“I… don’t know any Mandarin. I probably didn’t realise it was your name.” Locus admitted with a bit of a shrug and a sheepish look.
“It’s not. I mean it is but, I mean it’s from my mother so I don’t want it.” Felix made a face. “I started going by Felix when I started figuring out English. I just kinda liked it? I dunno. It was easier for other people to get. You know? I mean did you ever catch hell for having a weird name. I mean Fan Li’s not weird, it’s just not English, so I guess that meant weird to other kids…”
Locus considered that for a second. “I changed my name in the eighth grade.”
“What?” Felix leaned back and stared at him. “Why didn’t I know that? That seems like something I should know…”
“You mean like how I should also have known your name wasn’t originally Felix?” Locus raised an eyebrow. “I decided to change who I was as a person when I was fourteen. I told you I was angry as a child. I carried it a lot. I was angry at everything.” Locus started sorting through his bags for something to do with his hands. “I hit a point at fourteen, I grew about a foot, and it was extremely painful to grow that suddenly. I spent a lot of time just being in pain because it seemed like I was outgrowing my body. I raged a lot over it, but… I realised I was out of control. I had no control in anything in my life, not where I lived, where I went to school, I was so used to instability. I was angry at everyone for it, I wanted to make them stop, make them be different, but I couldn’t. So I realised the only thing I could have any control over was myself. So I decided to change it.”
Felix nodded, listening to Locus intently.
“There’s a psychological concept called Locus of Control. It mostly has to do with what a person feels they can control about their lives. Like ‘place of control’ it’s about where your control is located. The only thing I can control in my life is me. That is my place of control. So I am my Locus of Control. I guess… It sounds a little dumb now that I’m explaining it, but when I was fourteen it felt like a revelation.”
Felix moved over to Locus’ side and rose on his toes to kiss his cheek softly. “It makes sense. You are your place. I like it.”
“It took a little while to convince my teachers to call me that, but eventually it stuck, and kids didn’t really know me anyway so if the teachers were calling me Locus that may as well be my name. And now it just kind of is. Not legally, but… maybe eventually.” Locus smiled and shrugged a little.
“We can legally change our names together. It’ll be great. I still gotta come up with a new last name but it’ll be cool.” Felix grinned widely. “Okay but you know what’s on my birth certificate, can I know what’s on yours?”
“You know for most people that’s a very rude question.” Locus smirked a little as Felix pouted. “In this situation it’s okay though. I don’t know exactly if I was born with it though, sometimes when people take in infants they change their names. But the name I knew was Joseph. Joseph Cardinal.”
Felix considered that a little then nodded, “Locus suits you better.”
“Thanks.” Locus laughed softly and leaned to kiss Felix. “Let’s get unpacked and figure out what we need to buy now.”
“That reminds me!” Felix grinned and bounded back to his bag. “So you’re going to probably be uncomfortable again, please try to resist that?”
“Oh no, Felix…”
“It was another old one!” Felix explained as he pulled out a couple more rolls of cash. “It’s fine! She didn’t notice the last one, she won’t notice this one. Besides I’m not saying we spend it all, I’m saying like… some can send you to college, and some we save and like… make the first few payments on an apartment. I mean it’ll take a little while for me to get a job, so we’ll need something if we wanna move right away, right?”
Locus sighed and looked at the rolls Felix had thrown out onto the bed. “I… guess.”
Over the past year they’d put the leftovers from last year into Locus’ bank account, in small chunks so it didn’t raise any red flags. He had no idea what they were going to do with this cash.
“I’m gonna make a bank account. I have my papers now.” Felix patted his folder happily. “So official picture ID, bank account, SIN card… I dunno all the ID I need to function properly in society. That’s my goal this summer. Besides have fun. Then we deposit a bunch of this cash, and we’re golden.”
“ID and a bank account will come in handy.” Locus nodded. “When do you think you’ll get your driver’s?”
“When I learn how to drive. I don’t think I can manage that this month. But after we graduate we’ll have time.” Felix shrugged a little. “But! We could probably afford to buy you a car!”
“No. That is… I don’t even think they let you just buy a car in cash.”
“... they probably do if you’re buying it on Craigslist.”
“We’re not buying a car on Craigslist.”
“Spoilsport.”
