Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

From the moment Buck leaves his apartment and knocks on Eddie’s and Christopher’s door, his hands are shaking. They tremble on the handrail of the staircase in his apartment building and on the steering wheel of his car. He hasn’t slept that well, nervousness and anxiety keeping him up most of the night, and the few cups of coffee he drank before leaving the house don’t really help his shaking hands either.

Eddie is expecting him, Christopher is waiting for him and in his car on his way to their house, it feels a little too much like the day of the tsunami for Buck’s heart to beat in any kind of calm rhythm. That in addition to this being the first time Eddie is letting him see Chris alone for a whole day after the lawsuit dilemma makes Buck so anxious that he’s nauseous with it.

Eddie having a shift and Abuela and Carla both being otherwise occupied for once leaves Buck as one of the only options to take care of Christopher for the day. Coincidentally, it’s his day off, for once not lining up with Eddie’s, and Chris called him a few days ago to ask if Buck would go to that new observation deck on one of the skyscrapers downtown with him. When Buck had said yes without thinking about it and Christopher had promptly hung up on him while cheering all the while, Buck had sent himself almost into a panic attack right there and then.

Was Eddie okay with this? Did he know Chris would call Buck? What if it’s not okay and Buck already said yes? He’s not capable of breaking Christopher’s heart, would rather go through the lawsuit and every of his accidents again before making the boy unhappy.

On shift a few hours later, Eddie had approached him with the topic and Buck immediately started apologizing for just agreeing without talking to him first, only stopping his monologue when Eddie’s expression turned pained and Buck thought it better to shut up because nowadays he couldn’t read his best friend’s face anymore like he used to, always doubting and second guessing if Eddie really felt or meant what he did and said.

But it was okay for Eddie that Buck will spend the day with Christopher, he even said it will help him out immensely and Buck felt something warm curl around his heart at being useful for Eddie and Chris again. Eddie might treat him like the lawsuit never happened, but sometimes Buck catches him looking at him with an expression on his face he can’t decipher and has never seen on Eddie before and it gives him more anxiety than he wants to admit.

So that’s how he finds himself in front of the Diaz’ house with shaking hands and a pounding heart. It’s probably a mixture of both the memories of the last time he hung out with Christopher on the day of the tsunami and the fear of knocking on the door and having Eddie change his mind at the last minute that makes him so anxious.

Buck walks up to the front door while taking several deep breaths to calm himself and instead of using his spare key, he rings the doorbell. The door swings open almost immediately with Eddie and Chris right behind it, a smile on both their faces, though Eddie’s looks more pained than anything and Buck falters for a moment.

“You don’t need to ring the bell, Buck, I’ve told you that.”, Eddie says and Buck tries to plaster on a grin that feels so fake his face aches with it. He knows Eddie can see right through it, but the other man doesn’t say anything, even as his smile drops a little.

“Just use your spare key like you always do.”, Eddie tells him and Buck thinks he forgot to say before you lost my son in a tsunami and sued the closest people you have to a family just so you could go back to work and be a mediocre firefighter.

“Forgot them at home.”, Buck says and smiles sheepishly because it’s not even a lie.

Eddie sighs and looks like he wants to say something else, but Christopher chooses that moment to grab his crutches and walk towards him with a bright and genuine “Buck!” that instantly melts some of Buck’s anxiety away. The kid always has that effect on him and he feels a little bit like crying when Christopher steps past his father and right up to him to wrap his arms around his waist.

With a content sigh, Buck hugs him back and closes his eyes for a moment. He has missed this so fucking much and while he knows why Eddie hasn’t let him see his son, it still makes him sad.

“Hey buddy!”, he greets back and Christopher squeezes him even tighter.

“I missed you.”, the boy says without looking up and Buck instantly feels his eyes well up with tears as he cards a hand through Christopher’s unruly curls. Without even wanting to, he catches Eddie’s eyes from where the man is still standing in the open door. The complicated expression Buck doesn’t know what to make of is back on his face, but is cleared away the moment Eddie notices Buck looking at him.

“I missed you too, superman.”, Buck says and looks back down at Christopher because he can’t look at Eddie more than a few moments these days. It reminds him of everything he’s done wrong, every mistake he made and if he watches his best friend for a minute too long, words like exhausting will echo in his head for the rest of the day.

“Are you ready to go, buddy?”, Buck asks after holding Chris for a minute longer to make sure he won’t burst into tears the moment he lets go of him. Christopher nods and grabs his crutches back from Eddie while the man hands Buck a small backpack. It’s a new one, one Buck has never seen before and he wonders where Christopher’s old one has ended up.

“Needed a new one after…”, Eddie tells him because apparently he hasn’t lost the ability to read him like an open book, unlike Buck. He just nods in answer, knowing what Eddie is saying without him finishing the sentence, shooting Christopher a glance when the kid isn’t looking.

Talking about the tsunami and what happened to them is still hard for Chris. Hell, it’s still damn hard for Buck too, so he can’t quite imagine what it’s like for a child to be caught up in a natural disaster and then having his friend, the adult in that situation, lose him in the middle of it.

A prickle of unease rolls down the back of Buck’s neck as he thinks a moment too long about the pier and the water and losing Christopher. Eddie seems to notice that as well as he pushes Christopher’s backpack into his hands with a little too much force, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. There’s a worried crease on Eddie’s forehead as Buck looks at him and he’s suddenly scared Eddie will think him too unstable to take care of his son for a whole day.

But Buck has been back at work for weeks, even months now and his body is fully healed. If he can handle work as a firefighter, he can take care of an eight year old for a few hours, right?

“Buck?” Eddie’s voice sounds a little more than worried now and as Buck looks back at him, he’s suddenly a lot closer and Buck’s heart skips a beat. He can’t even blame that on his anxiety because his traitorous body always reacts like this when Eddie is this close.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, of course, I’m fine.”, he answers immediately and hopes his smile looks more convincing than it feels. Eddie looks at him a moment longer and then just nods, not looking very convinced. Buck grips the backpack in his hands a little tighter and tries to smile a little brighter. It’s not hard when he looks back at Christopher and sees the kid all but beam at him in excitement.

“There’s some snacks and some juice packs in the bag.”, Eddie tells him while hugging his son goodbye, placing a kiss on his head before stepping back and ruffling his hair. “I put some money for lunch in the backpack and left some for dinner on the kitchen counter. I shouldn’t be back later than midnight.”

“Bye dad!”, Chris almost interrupts his father, giving him one last hug and making Buck grin as Eddie fondly shakes his head.

“I’ll have him back on time for dinner and his bedtime.”, Buck tells his best friend as Christopher already makes his way to Buck’s car, clearly excited. “If anything comes up or there’s an issue, I’ll call you, you know I have you on speed dial, you don’t need to worry about anything-”

Buck cuts himself off as Eddie steps even closer and puts a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly.

“Buck”, he says and looks a little exasperated and a lot more pained and Buck doesn’t know why. “I’m not worried. I trust you. You know that, right?”

Buck does know that. Or he thought he did until he lost Christopher in the middle of a natural disaster. Eddie has told him repeatedly since then that he trusts him, not only with his son but in general, but after suing the fire department, Buck isn’t so sure how much of that trust is still there.

Eddie has never lied to him, though, no matter how much they were at odds with each other, so Buck chooses to believe him now too. At least when it comes to Christopher. Buck knows Eddie wouldn’t let him see him otherwise, has gotten that exact treatment during the lawsuit.

“I know.”, Buck replies and finds that his weak smile is genuine this time. Eddie’s face relaxes a bit at that but the crease between his brows doesn’t disappear completely. Buck looks over his shoulder for a second to check on Christopher and turns back to Eddie when he sees the boy sitting safely in the passenger seat. The moment he looks back at his best friend, he finds himself with an armful of Eddie Diaz, the man’s arms wrapped tightly around his neck and shoulders.

For a long second, Buck just doesn’t react at all, but then it’s like his body moves on its own and he sags in Eddie’s arms as he returns the hug. He doesn’t even know when the last time was that Eddie hugged him and that says a lot when the man’s arms around his shoulders have been so very familiar once upon a time, only a few short months ago.

“I trust you, Buck.”, Eddie repeats and Buck feels like crying again. “That never changed.”

Buck hugs Eddie a little tighter, almost clinging to him, and feels the other man’s arms tighten around his shoulders too. Buck doesn’t know what to say, isn’t sure he even could at the moment. God bless Christopher Diaz to decide to shout “Buck, are you coming?”, at the top of his lungs right at that moment, effectively ending their hug as they jerk apart.

“Yes, I’m coming!”, Buck shouts back over his shoulder as Eddie clears his throat and steps back.

“I should…” Gesturing awkwardly over his shoulder towards his car, Buck takes a step backwards.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”, Eddie replies and grabs the front door in one hand and the doorframe in the other. “Have fun, you two.”

“Thanks.” Backing up even more, Buck has to watch his step so as to not fall over his own two feet. “See you tonight.”

He makes a beeline for his car as Eddie waves to Christopher from their front door. It’s a nice day, the sun is shining and it’s not too warm and Eddie Diaz looks like a sight for sore eyes in his LAFD shirt and turnout pants. Buck lets Christopher give his dad one last wave goodbye, before he puts his car into gear to drive them into downtown LA.

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Finding a parking space in a city like Los Angeles is almost impossible, so Buck doesn’t even try to find something free of charge and just maneuvers his car into one of the underground parking lots that cost an arm and a leg to park in for the whole day. Every penny is worth Christopher’s excitement though, and even though the boy would never admit it, the shorter the distance they have to walk, the better. Buck doesn’t want him to be completely exhausted when they finally reach the observation deck on one of the large skyscrapers, not able to enjoy the view he has been looking forward to.

The skyscraper they’re going to is a normal office building in the middle of downtown Los Angeles, standing there for decades already. The observation deck Buck is taking Christopher to has been added to the facade right on the last floor of the building only a few months ago and has quickly become an attraction. That paired with the adjacent restaurant is a magnet for tourists and locals alike.

After they find a parking spot big enough for Christopher to comfortably step out of the car, Buck grabs Christopher’s backpack from the backseat and helps him put it on. The boy tells him all about his latest adventures at school with his friends while they make their way out of the underground parking garage and to the entrance of the skyscraper.

With the tickets Buck booked in advance they don’t have to wait long in front of the elevator taking all the tourists and visitors up to the top of the skyscraper. Christopher looks at the landscape excitedly as the glass elevator takes them to the observation deck and Buck can’t help but smile at him fondly.

“Your son is really cute, sir.”

Buck turns to the small elderly lady beside him in surprise and finds her smiling at him.

“Oh, thank you, but he’s not-”

“Buck, look at that!” Christopher’s excited voice pulls him away from the woman without answering and as he looks back at her, she just smiles wider as he steps forward wordlessly and joins Chris at the glass of the elevator.

“Last week when dad and I went to uncle Bobby’s and auntie Athena’s house for dinner, Harry told me about all the buildings you can see when he went here with uncle Bobby last month!”

Chris goes on to point out everything he can already see from here in the elevator, but Buck only listens with one ear, still stuck on the part where Eddie and Christopher apparently went to Bobby’s for dinner. Without Buck. It shouldn’t surprise him, not after everything, but he can’t deny that it hurts. After being on good terms again with the team, they started inviting him back out to team dinners and activities, but Bobby has yet to invite him back to the bi-weekly dinners they had with him, Athena, Eddie, Christopher and Buck. Apparently the dinners never stopped but they just haven’t invited him again.

He tries not to let it bother him, but it does, it really does. Buck might shoulder most of the blame for the lawsuit and the strained relationship with his team that resulted from that, but he’s still aware of the fact that if Bobby had just let him come back to work after his doctors cleared him, they could have avoided this whole mess in the first place.

With a sigh he concentrates back on Christopher as the elevator arrives at the top of the building. He’s here to have a nice day with the boy, not to dwell on his past mistakes.

They let the other visitors exit the elevator first, so Christopher can walk out more comfortably. Buck follows the still excited boy outside so they can look at the skyline of Los Angeles and together they find an empty bench right in front of the glass balustrade. Buck is planning for them to have lunch in the restaurant here at the top, but it’s still a little early for that, so he grabs some of the snacks Eddie packed and puts them between him and Christopher like a miniature buffet.

From time to time he puts a carrot stick in Christopher’s hand while the boy looks at the skyline and points out things and buildings he thinks he knows. The kid eats it absentmindedly without even noticing and Buck can’t help but smile.

They spend at least half an hour trying to find Eddie’s and Christopher’s house, even while Buck knows all the while that they can’t possibly see all the way to the suburbs from this distance. They do actually find the fire station though and Buck is pretty sure he can see his apartment building, even though it should be just as hard to find as the Diaz’ house.

“Buck?”, Christopher asks after they both just look at the skyline in companionable silence for a minute. Chris sounds hesitant, something he never is with him, so Buck turns to him and gives him his full attention.

“Yes, buddy?”

Christopher still visibly hesitates for a moment longer, but the kid is nothing if not brave. “Can we do this again?”

Confused, Buck tilts his head. “Of course! We can come here whenever you like.”

“No, I mean…” Biting his lip, Christopher looks at Buck earnestly. “Can we spend the day together again?”

Buck’s heart all but breaks in two as he just stares at Christopher, too stunned to speak for a moment. Buck knows the kid asked about him in the time they didn’t see each other because of the lawsuit, but it must have messed with Christopher more than he thought.

Apparently taking his silence for something negative, Christopher looks away as he continues speaking.

“Am I still not allowed to see you? Because dad said that some time ago and it made me really sad, so I was very happy when you and dad said we were going to come here together today.” Chris stops himself for a second and looks back at Buck. “Why is dad not letting me see you? Did you fight?”

Taking a shaky breath, Buck puts the snacks on the bench between them away so that he can sit closer to Christopher. Putting both arms around the boy, he hugs him to his chest, dropping his chin to the top of his head as he feels Christopher’s arms around his waist.

God, he loves this kid, almost as much as if he was his own. Scratch that, Christopher is his kid in all but blood and name, even if he doesn’t know what Eddie would think about that. But right now, in the quiet of the moment, Buck allows himself to feel this and hugs Christopher a little bit tighter.

“I’m really sorry, buddy.”, he starts after a while, neither of them letting go of each other. “Your dad and I did have a little fight for some time and I couldn’t see you, but I really missed you.”

“Do you not like each other anymore?”, Christopher asks quietly, his face buried in Buck’s chest.

“Even if your dad and I fight or disagree about something, you and him will always be the most important people in my life, okay?” At this, Buck pulls back a little to see Christopher’s face. “I love you both very much.”

Chris looks at him for a long moment, as if to gauge if he’s really serious, but then he folds back into Buck’s arms and hugs him even tighter.

“I love you too, Buck.”, he tells him. “And I really missed you. I know dad missed you too.”

“I missed you too, superman.” Dropping a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head, Buck takes a deep breath and swallows the lump in his throat back down.

They stay like that for a long few minutes, neither of them still looking at the beautiful view in front of them. Buck is so happy he finally has at least Christopher back, even when some of the other relationships in his life are still strained.

Chris pulls back after a few minutes to look at Buck seriously. In any other situation, a look like that from an eight year old would have been funny, but Buck knows it’s important to take kids seriously, no matter their age.

“I hope you don’t fight with dad anymore, Buck.”, Christopher tells him, a small frown on his face. “Because I know dad loves you too. He told me so.”

Buck’s heart all but stops at hearing that, wondering why and in what situation Eddie would have told his son that. He reminds himself that Chris doesn’t mean it in the way Buck would like, but it’s still nice to hear that he’s important to Eddie, even if it’s in a totally platonic way. He can live with that, he can stay just friends with Eddie for the rest of their lives if that means he never has to live without him and Christopher again.

“I can’t promise you that I won’t ever fight with your dad again, Chris.”, Buck tells him and runs a hand through Christopher’s curls. “But I promise you that we will always make up, okay?”

Christopher looks at him for a long moment, before he nods and smiles happily, hugging Buck again. Buck pulls him back into his side and they sit like that for a long moment, until Christopher’s stomach suddenly growls, effectively breaking the emotional moment and lighting the mood again.

Buck laughs quietly as he pulls away from Christopher and looks at the kid’s grinning face.

“How about some lunch, hm?”, Buck asks and stands up, putting the last of their things back into Christopher’s backpack, before handing the boy his crutches.

The observation deck is not overly full as they slowly make their way back inside. This high up, it’s pretty windy, but with the sun out, it’s not cold. The wooden planks underneath their feet feel sturdy and robust, but even Buck with his limited architectural knowledge knows that it’s not strange for a structure this high up to move from the wind. As the ground faintly vibrates under their feet, he doesn’t worry and just keeps moving, following after Christopher.

“Buck”, Chris catches his attention a moment later. “I feel the ground moving, is that normal?”

Christopher sounds worried and as Buck concentrates, he finds that the vibrations of the wood beneath their feet seem to be increasing. He frowns, but not wanting to scare Chris, he pastes on a smile and ruffles his hair comfortingly.

“Don’t worry, buddy, that’s totally normal.”

Subtly looking around as they keep moving, Buck sees that he’s not the only one that noticed the unusual movement of the observation deck. Several people are looking down at their feet with worried frowns, starting to move inside a moment later.

There’s a sudden prickle at the base of Buck’s neck, something uncomfortable, a feeling that something bad will happen. He doesn’t know where it suddenly comes from, there’s nothing going on, but he needs them to get inside nevertheless.

“Christopher, buddy, I need you to listen to me very closely for a second.”

As Christopher stops in his tracks and turns around to him, Buck crouches down to his height.

“I know you don’t like it very much, but we really need to move inside, so I’m going to pick you up, okay?” Christopher pulls a grimace but doesn’t protest when he sees Buck’s serious face.

“It’s only for a short moment, okay? I’ll put you down again as soon as we’re through the doors.”

Christopher nods eventually and takes his crutches into one hand so they won’t be in the way too much. Just as Buck scoops him up and into his arms, the faint tremor running through the wood underneath them grows in intensity, almost sending Buck stumbling.

Shit, he thinks and almost curses out loud. Is this a goddamn earthquake? Right when they’re at the top of a skyscraper? Buck curses his bad luck and clutches Christopher tighter. They need to get inside immediately. The top of a skyscraper isn’t the best place for this either way, but being inside the building is still safer than being on a platform bolted to the outside of it.

All of Buck’s firefighter instincts demand for him to turn around and see if there are other people needing help, but with Christopher in his arms and the boy being his top priority, he keeps his eyes forward and on the door to the restaurant. The observation deck is seriously shaking under their feet now and it’s definitely not because of some strong winds anymore. Buck has the urge to look at some of the other buildings surrounding them, but they need to get to some relative safety first.

Most of the people on the observation deck have caught on that something is happening. There’s no panic yet because no one is expecting another earthquake so soon after the last one, but the people still feel that something is wrong.

Christopher has gone deadly silent in his arms, clutching his shirt like a lifeline. This is the second time something is happening when he and Chris are spending the day together and Buck is starting to believe that maybe Eddie has been right to keep him away from the boy. Nothing good seems to come out of Buck taking care of Christopher.

Halfway across the observation deck, the building starts to sway so heavily that Buck stumbles in surprise and crashes to his knees. He’s able to keep Christopher in his arms, but the boy loses his grip on his crutches, sending them tumbling to the ground with a loud clatter. Buck is not the only one affected by the sudden increase of movement underneath them and it suddenly seems like people are starting to catch on to what is happening.

“Earthquake!”, he hears someone scream and the previously avoided panic sets in. The observation deck is still shaking badly, the metal groaning, and Buck needs to take a deep breath or he’ll get swept along in the panic around him.

“Buck? What’s happening?”, Christopher asks, his voice small and full of fear.

“It’s an earthquake, buddy.”, Buck tells him, never in the habit of lying to the kid and not going to start now. “But don’t worry, I’ve got you. We just need to get inside.”

He feels Christopher nod against his collarbone, his shirt bunched in his small hands. Buck drops a reassuring kiss to the top of his head before getting to his feet again. Absentmindedly, he picks Christopher’s crutches back up, not sure he will need them again today, but Buck hasn’t lost hope that the earthquake will just be a minor one and they’ll be able to get down the skyscraper soon enough. Maybe they should have just stayed in and played with Christopher’s legos.

Even Buck as a fit and trained firefighter has trouble staying on his feet as the ground continues to shake and sway underneath them. He tightens his grip on Christopher as they make their way to the doors leading inside.

“I’m scared, Buck.”

“It’s okay, Chris, it’s okay. I’m here, you don’t have anything to worry about, okay?” Buck guides Chris’ face to the crook of his neck and feels the boy nod.

They’re almost inside when the building and the ground beneath them suddenly stops moving, seemingly going back to normal. Buck can see people around him exclaiming in joy that the earthquake seems to be over, but the dreadful feeling in the back of his head is still there and he doesn’t trust this sudden calm.

“Keep moving!”, he shouts when the people beside him just stop in their tracks. There’s still a big part of the crowd not even close to the doors of the restaurant and even if the earthquake is really over, Buck will get the hell out of here with Christopher as soon as possible.

Taking the chance of the steady ground beneath his feet, Buck quickly makes his way over to the doors leading inside. Security personnel from the building are holding the doors open and he’s only a few metres away from them when the observation deck suddenly jerks and starts shaking again, worse than before. Buck tumbles to the ground with Christopher, landing on his back in a last moment reaction to brace the boy from the fall. He still loses his grip on him and they roll away from each other as the building continues to sway from the movements of the earth.

The platform of the observation deck is groaning seriously now and as Buck fights his way back to his feet, Christopher sprawled beside him, people around them are screaming and panicking again.

“Come on, come on!”, someone is calling loudly from the open doors. “It’s not going to hold!”

The dread at the back of Buck’s neck falls straight into the pit of his stomach and for a moment it’s all he can do to keep the contents of his stomach inside. Nausea is making him dizzy as he stumbles over to Christopher, scooping the boy up and starting to run the moment he has a somewhat secure grip on him. His crutches and the backpack are irrelevant right now, but Buck still has the absentminded thought that both are still new and hopefully Eddie won’t be too mad at him for losing them again. Maybe Buck should just buy Christopher an unlimited supply of crutches, with the way the boy always ends up in situations where he loses them because of Buck.

The ground beneath them shakes and heaves, the metal beams securing the observation deck to the building screeching with the effort to stay in place. It’s hard to run in a straight line when he can barely keep his feet underneath himself and once or twice, he stumbles and hits the ground on his knees. Buck only sees the open door right in front of them, his mind focusing only on getting Christopher to safety. He can worry about anything else when they’re safely inside, when they’re far away from the threat of a giant platform barrelling fifty floors to the ground.

Security personnel are still loudly urging the people to get inside, leaning out of the doorways but not daring to step on the platform themselves. Other visitors are glued to the glass of the windows from the inside, watching the chaos with worry, unable to do anything about it. Buck runs and wills his feet to go faster. His bad leg aches with the sudden exercise but he ignores it and keeps going. He can deal with a little pain if it means Christopher is safe. Hell, he would go through the ladder truck all over again if he had to.

Buck runs and his feet indeed manage to go faster, the doors and the security personnel so close now, if he reaches out, he could grab the outstretched hand of one of the security officers. He secures his grip on Christopher with one hand and reaches for the doors. The horrified face of the security officer is the first thing he sees before he even feels something happening and just like with the ladder truck or the tsunami, time slows down impossibly, making everything feel like it’s moving in slow motion.

The ground slips out from under his feet as the foundation on one side of the observation deck breaks apart. People are screaming in fear around them as Buck instinctively grabs tighter onto Christopher and his still outstretched hand finds hold on a thin metal beam sticking out of the now ruined fassade of the building. Glass shatters as wood and metal break apart and crash to the ground several hundred feet underneath them, taking countless lives with them.

Buck cries out in pain as the sudden stop wrenches his shoulder from its socket, making him almost lose his grip if it wasn’t for the single thought of Christopher Christopher Christopher repeating in his head. He manages to hold on, even as agony shoots up his arm and down the side of his body.

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for it to happen, but it feels like an eternity when the sounds suddenly come back on around him, as if he pressed the mute button on a remote. Or maybe everyone and everything has just been shocked into silence for a moment and the horrific event of what just happened is now catching up to the survivors.

Buck doesn’t dare to look down, sure he will lose his grip if he sees the distance to the ground and all the rubble and metal and possibly the bodies of the people that just fell to their deaths. Absentmindedly, he hears the wings of a helicopter beating above him and wonders if the press doesn’t have anything better to do. He instantly forgets about it again when someone suddenly grabs his hand and arm and pulls him up, ripping a pained scream out of his throat as his dislocated shoulder is being manhandled.

His grip on Christopher never falters though, and even without the boy holding on to him like a lifeline, Buck knows he never would have let him go as they’re pulled over the edge of the building and into the safety of the restaurant. Buck just lies there for a long moment, sprawled on his back with Christopher on his chest, his left arm feeling like it’s on fire. Whoever pulled them back up already moved on to help other survivors, although there are not many of them.

It’s only minutes later, staring up at the ceiling and catching his breath, Christopher worryingly quiet, that Buck notices that the building has stopped moving. He hopes the worst of the earthquake is over for good now, but there’s still the risk of aftershocks and Buck plans to be well away from here by the time those might happen. He’s not up for testing how much this building can withstand while he’s still in it with Christopher.

When he’s sure he won’t throw up the moment he moves, Buck carefully sits up, carding the hand of his uninjured arm through Christopher’s hair. The boy is shaking in his arms and Buck squeezes him a little closer to his body, sliding backwards until he’s sitting against a wall.

“Hey Christopher, will you look at me so I can make sure you’re alright?”

At the boy’s head shaking no, Buck comfortingly rubs his hand up and down Christopher’s back, trying to soothe him.

“It’s okay buddy, everything’s alright.”, he tells him in a low voice. “We’re safe, we’re okay. I won’t let anything happen to you, you know that, right?”

At that, Christopher slowly nods his head and looks up at Buck, the tears in the boy’s eyes breaking his heart. He hugs him tighter and presses a kiss to his forehead, before looking at his face again.

“Are you alright buddy? Does anything hurt?”

Chris shakes his head no again and buries back into the crook of Buck’s neck.

“I’m okay, Buck. But you’re hurt.”

Christopher’s reminder makes him look at his left arm that is uselessly hanging at his side right now. He can’t move it an inch without pain and he knows someone will have to put his shoulder back in before they can make their way down. The elevators seem to be out of order and there’s no way Buck can carry Chris fifty floors with only one arm. He would, if he had to, but he wants the kid to be as safe as possible and for that he needs to be as fit as possible.

“It’s okay, bud. We’re going to fix it, okay?”, Buck tells Chris, already looking around for one of the security officers. They should know basic first-aid, so with a little bit of instruction, one of them should be able to set his shoulder. “And then we’re getting out of here. I think that’s enough excitement for the day, don’t you?”

Chris actually giggles a little at that and Buck counts it as a win. The boy still hasn’t let go of him and Buck won’t make him, so he just secures his arm around him and stands up with Christopher in his arms.

As he looks around the large room of the restaurant, Buck sees someone that’s not a security officer tending to some people with minor injuries. It’s a woman, maybe a few years older than himself, and she moves with the air of someone knowing what they’re doing. Maybe she’s a nurse or a doctor, either way she’ll know what to do with his shoulder.

He waits until she inspected the scratches on the face of an older man and stops her before she can move on to someone else.

“Excuse me?”, he says politely, hiking Christopher up a little bit when he slides down on his hip a few inches. The woman turns to him and immediately zeroes in on his shoulder and his arm hanging limply at his side.

“You’re the one they pulled up earlier, right?”, she asks and motions for him to sit in one of the chairs from the restaurant, Christopher perched on his lap. “I was already looking for you.” She prods at his shoulder and stops when he hisses in obvious pain.

“I think it’s dislocated.”

“You’re right.”, she answers and turns around as if she’s looking for something. She grabs an unused napkin from the table beside her and pushes it into his hand. “Bite down on that when I tell you to.”

He nods his thanks and feels Christopher grab his other hand tightly.

“Will it hurt, Buck?”

“Only for a short moment.”, the woman answers for him and smiles kindly at Christopher. Buck decides that he likes her for that alone.

“Evan Buckley, LA Fire Department. And this is Christopher.”, he introduced them and bounces the boy on his knees once.

“Nice to meet you.”, she answers and smiles at Christopher’s giggles. “Elena Graham, Rockefeller University Hospital in New York. I’m only here to visit my sister.”, she adds wryly and nods over at another woman trying to calm down a small girl.

“Okay, bite down on the napkin.”, she tells him then, all business, and waits until he does what she said. With the white cloth between his teeth, she grabs his arm and shoulder. “On the count of three. One-”

Acting on the element of surprise, she quickly pulls his shoulder back into the right position and Buck moans around the napkin in pain. His arm throbs as she gently guides it back to his side, but it feels a lot better than only moments ago. He lets the napkin fall out of his mouth and only then notices the death grip he has on Christopher’s hand. He lets go immediately and pulls the boy’s hand up to inspect it.

“I’m so sorry, did I hurt you bud?”

“No, it’s okay, Buck, it didn’t hurt.” Christopher smiles at him sweetly as Buck rubs his fingers gently for a minute.

“You and your son are really cute together.”, Elena’s voice pulls Buck’s eyes back to her.

“Oh thank you, but he’s not-”

“Elena?” The other woman, Elena’s sister, seems to have been able to calm down the little girl, holding her in her arms now and gesturing for her sister to come over. Elena looks back at him and Christopher and hesitates.

“We won’t keep you.”, Buck tells her and smiles. “Thank you for your help.”

She smiles back and nods and then starts laughing when Christopher calls after her: “Thank you for helping my Buck!”

Buck laughs too and rolls his injured shoulder a few times, testing its limits. It still faintly hurts, but it’s definitely bearable. He’ll be sore as hell tomorrow, but it’s nothing a good night’s sleep and some painkillers can’t fix.

“Okay, what do you think, buddy?”, Buck asks Christopher as he pulls him back into his arms and stands up. “Ready to get out of here?”

Christopher nods enthusiastically and holds tightly to Buck’s shirt as they move in the direction of the staircase. The elevators still look out of order, but Buck wouldn’t have taken them anyway.

“Buck, can we call daddy?”, Christopher asks suddenly when they’re almost at the emergency staircase and Buck jolts a little when he remembers Eddie. With everything happening, he totally forgot that his best friend is probably out of his mind with worry.

“Of course, superman.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he speed dials Eddie’s number, but is sent to voicemail immediately. He tries a second time but is met with the same result and pockets his phone again.

“The earthquake probably messed with the phones and the reception.”, Buck tells Christopher as they take the first few steps of the stairs, the staircase not overly full as the majority of people seem to still be on the top floor. “We’ll try again when we’re down and out of the building, okay?”

Christopher nods and with that, they start to make the long way down.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eddie feels Buck’s arms around him linger as he says goodbye and watches Buck get into his car.

He feels them linger as he downs a cup of coffee and locks the house.

Feels them as he drives to the fire station, his gaze swinging back from time to time to the skyscraper Buck and Christopher are going to.

The distance the lawsuit put between them, the distance Eddie put between them for the last few weeks felt like a physical ache and in hindsight, Eddie wishes he would have done several things differently. Yes, he was angry and maybe it was even justified to some degree, but hurting his son and hurting Buck even more in the process isn’t what he wanted. He shouldn’t have kept them apart for so long, not after both of them are still visibly struggling with the aftermath of the tsunami.

When he gets to the fire station, the rest of the team is already there. It was a calm night apparently and Eddie hopes his shift will be the same so that he can get off work on time. If he’s lucky, Christopher will still be up by then and maybe he can talk Buck into staying a little longer after they put his son to bed.

After putting his things into his locker, he makes his way up to the loft, greeting Hen and Chim on his way to the coffee maker. Someone prepared breakfast, probably Bobby, and he takes a few pancakes with him to the table as he sits down beside Hen. The TV in the corner is on, the volume muted as it plays one of the dozen news channels.

Eddie doesn’t pay much attention to it, chatting with Hen and Chimney and greeting Bobby when their captain pours himself a cup of coffee and joins them at the table. Eddie loves this time of the day the most, when their shift just started and they have a few minutes just to talk before the next call comes in. The only person missing today is Buck, but now that he’s officially back at work, the uncertainty of when Eddie will see him again disappeared and he knows he’ll be back tomorrow.

When Eddie stands up to pour himself another cup of coffee, hoping he’ll be able to drink it before they have to go to the next emergency, he bumps into the leg of the table, shaking it a little. It moves more than it should, but he doesn’t think much about it as Chim quickly lifts the cup sitting in front of him to keep the coffee from sloshing over the edges.

With a quick look at the digital clock on the microwave, Eddie wonders where Buck and Christopher are right now. They should be up on the skyscraper by now, enjoying the view, and Eddie instinctively turns his head to look out the window. He can see the skyscrapers downtown from here and wonders if Buck and Christopher are able to see the fire station too.

Grabbing his cup of coffee, he makes his way back to the table, suddenly stumbling over his own two feet and almost dropping his coffee. Chim chuckles at him as he looks behind himself to see if there is anything on the ground, but when he doesn’t find anything, he shrugs it off and drops back down beside Hen.

“Eddie, did you run into the table again?”, Hen asks as he sits down and takes a sip of his coffee.

Eddie gives her an exasperated look, cup of coffee still in hand. “No, I didn’t. I’m not that clumsy.”

Eddie thinks she is joking, but the sudden frown on her face worries him. He puts his cup down on the table in front of him and immediately picks it back up when it starts to vibrate and the liquid comes dangerously close to spilling over.

“What the hell?”, Chimney mutters, more to himself, and picks up his own cup.

The table is suddenly moving, only a little, but enough for it to be noticeable, and now that Eddie noticed it, he feels the same vibrations run through the chair he’s sitting on. He locks eyes with Hen again, now worried too, and bends down to put a hand to the floor. The same tremor is running through the ground and he’s sure that can’t mean anything good.

“Do you think this is…?”, he starts to question, not wanting to finish the sentence and jinxing it. Across from him, Bobby nods and opens his mouth to say something.

Before any sound can come out though, the ground suddenly jerks underneath their feet and Eddie’s cup falls out of his hand and onto the table, spilling coffee over his shirt and all over the wood. The cup rolls back and forth with the sudden stronger shakes and with a loud clatter, it falls to the ground and shatters.

“Get down!”, Bobby calls out and pulls Chimney down beside him as he gets on his knees. Eddie does the same with Hen and the four of them crowd under the table, covering their heads. Downstairs, they hear their other colleagues shout to take cover and a moment later, something crashes down from the ceiling.

Even as the ground shakes hard beneath them and they hear every single cup and plate fall out of the kitchen cabinets, Eddie’s mind spirals. The only thing he can think about is Christopher and Buck, stuck on the top of a skyscraper during an earthquake of this intensity. The table above him moves several inches with every shake and he’s kind of scared the loft won’t withstand it.

This feels too much like the tsunami for Eddie to be comfortable with this in any form and he feels as helpless as a few months ago, when he thought Buck and Christopher were safe and far away from the ocean, only for them to be right in the middle of it all. The only difference now is that he knows exactly where they are and it’s definitely still in the area that will be affected by this earthquake.

“-die! Eddie!” Too wrapped up in his thoughts and worries, Eddie doesn’t notice that the shakes have lessened and someone is calling his name until Hen pulls his hands from his head and makes him look up into her worried eyes.

“There you are.”, she says and smiles gently. “Where did you go there for a minute?”

Eddie swallows and props himself up with his hands on the floor. The ground is still trembling and this won’t have been the last round of shakes.

“I- I’m-”, cutting himself off, he swallows again and rubs a hand over his face. “Christopher and Buck are downtown, visiting that new observation deck that opened a few months ago.”

As he pulls his hand away from his face, he’s met with the worried faces of his three team members.

“This feels too much like the tsunami.”, Eddie admits quietly and Hen’s face softens with sympathy immediately.

“It’s not, though, Eddie. This is nothing like the tsunami.”

Logically, Eddie knows that. But it’s hard to see the logic when his heart is telling him something entirely different. What is it with Buck and Christopher getting caught up in natural disasters? Maybe he should put both of them in bubble wrap and keep them at home all day.

Slowly, they climb out from under the table, taking in the damage. Several lamps have fallen from the ceiling and the kitchen is a complete mess. There’s not one cabinet that still has anything in it. Miraculously, the TV is still hanging and seems to function normally.

After a quick shout downstairs to make sure everything is alright there too, Bobby turns back to Eddie.

“Give Buck a call and make sure everything is alright.”

Eddie nods jerkily, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. Chim claps a hand on his shoulder in reassurance and watches as Eddie speed dials Buck’s number.

“I’m sure they’re alright.”, Chimney tells him as they wait for the line to connect. “I mean, Buck would do anything for your boy. He won’t let anything happen to him.”

That’s what I’m afraid about the most, Eddie thinks and curses as the call immediately gets sent to voicemail.

“Buck, it’s Eddie. Just wanted to make sure Christopher and you are alright. Please call me back as soon as possible.”

Eddie puts his phone back in his pocket, deciding to call again later when they’re really sure the worst of it is over. He rubs a hand over his face again and cards his fingers through his hair. His heart is definitely still beating too fast and the several cups of coffee he drank since he woke up are not really helping his anxiety.

“Eddie, I think you should see this.”, Hen suddenly calls and when he looks at her, he sees her standing in front of the TV.

The news channel has switched from the normal program to a live show covering the sudden earthquake and as Eddie steps closer, he freezes when he sees the footage of downtown Los Angeles and how much damage it already caused. The recordings are done from a helicopter that is now circling one skyscraper in particular and Eddie’s breath catches when he recognizes the observation deck mounted to the facade of the building.

“Oh my god…”, he whispers, his eyes glued to the TV. There’s not much damage to see but people are still hurrying across the deck to get inside, urged on by security personnel standing by the doors. Eddie scans the area frantically, looking for the red shirt Christopher is wearing. He spots him and Buck at the same moment Chimney exclaims “There! There they are!”.

Buck is carrying Christopher in his arms, hurrying across the observation deck. Chris has his crutches and his backpack clutched in his hands and Eddie feels his heart pounding as he watches the most important people in his life being caught in a natural disaster again while he can’t do anything to help them.

Through the TV, he can’t really make out what is wrong, why the security officers are urging the people to come inside. The volume is still muted and nobody is bothering to find the remote to change that, not when they all can’t afford to look away for even a second.

As Buck suddenly stumbles and falls to his knees, Eddie jerks forward, as if to brace him. He struggles back to his feet a moment later as the earth suddenly stills completely. Eddie feels dread run down his neck at the sudden calm as he watches some of the people on the observation deck start cheering in joy that the earthquake seems to be over.

Buck is not one of them though as he keeps moving, possibly feeling the same dread as Eddie right now. They’re only a few metres from the door when the ground suddenly jerks beneath their feet, sending not only Buck and Christopher sprawling, but Eddie and the rest of their team in the fire station too.

Eddie catches himself on his elbow, hissing when he feels it connect with the hard floor. They don’t have time to move back to the table, so until the worst is over, they cover their heads with their arms and duck low to the floor. These shakes are much more severe than in the first round and when the ground finally calms down a little, Eddie immediately looks back up at the TV, fearing the worst.

Everything still looks like it did a minute ago though, with the only difference now that he can see both Buck and Christopher sprawled on the floor. He watches anxiously as Buck struggles back to his feet and scoops Christopher up, the crutches and the backpack unimportant and forgotten in the face of getting to safety.

There are almost at the doors, one of the security officers stretching out a hand to grab them, when Eddie watches in pure horror as one side of the observation deck breaks apart and takes the whole construction to the ground. Watching the people still on the platform fall to their deaths is probably the worst thing he ever had to do and everything happens too fast for him to even make out Buck and Christopher in the chaos.

He’s glad he’s still sitting on the ground as he suddenly feels very dizzy and very nauseous, his vision blurring. This can’t be happening, it can’t. He feels so out of touch that he doesn’t even notice the body behind him pulling him to a hard chest, warm hands guiding him backwards. All he can do is stare at the TV unseeingly, his mind not able to comprehend what just happened.

Suddenly, he’s feeling Buck’s arms from this morning back around his body and a sob tears from his throat. Christopher’s excited grin at the breakfast table flashes through his mind and Eddie buries his face in his hand.

This can’t be true. It has to be a nightmare. After everything they’ve already been through, the universe just let him watch his son and the love of his life fall to their deaths? Because yes, that’s what Buck is and Eddie has just been too much of a coward, too angry about the lawsuit and too caught up in his own problems, to admit it to himself.

“Oh my god! Eddie, look!” Hen’s voice sounds choked but as he reluctantly looks up and sees her pointing at the TV and at the zoomed in footage of a man and a boy hanging off the side of the building, Eddie jerks out of what he realizes is Bobby’s hold.

That’s Buck, that’s definitely Buck, clutching Christopher to his body for dear life and barely holding on to a thin metal rod sticking out of the severely damaged facade of the building. Eddie gets closer to the TV on his hands and knees, staring in disbelief at the most wonderful sight he’s ever seen. They’re alive, they’re really alive! Whatever luck both Buck and Christopher seem to have, he hopes they never run out of it, hopes it will forever bring them back home to him.

Eddie seriously might just kiss Buck the moment he sees him again for always keeping Christopher safe at the risk of his own life. He knows his best friend doesn't see it that way, still blames himself for losing Chris in the tsunami, but Eddie is just grateful they both made it out alive.

He watches as someone pulls Buck and Christopher up and inside as Buck’s mouth opens in a silent scream. His arm hangs awkwardly in the grasp of whoever is helping them and Eddie guesses that his shoulder is probably dislocated from the fall. The glass door closes behind them when they’re finally inside and Eddie scrambles for his phone.

His hands are shaking so bad, he almost drops his phone and needs three attempts to unlock the screen. When he presses it to his ear, it immediately goes to voicemail again and Eddie curses. He tries a second and a third time, but when it ends in the same result, he’s tempted to throw his phone against the nearest wall.

The blaring alarm of an incoming call startles Eddie so badly, he really lets his phone drop, the screen breaking where it connects with the floor on one of the corners. He picks it back up and scrambles to his feet, swiping a hand across his damp face. Reflexively, he follows Hen and Chimney to the lockers, getting into his turnout gear on autopilot, his phone still clutched in his hand. They all seem too rattled for anyone to say anything to that and Eddie doesn’t even notice until the sharp edges of his broken screen cut into his hand.

Bobby walks in a minute later, grabbing his own gear as he tells them what the command centre could tell him about the call.

“Several people are stuck inside a smaller office building downtown. The roof halfway collapsed because of the earthquake. It’s near-” Suddenly seeming to realize something, Bobby cuts himself off and turns towards Eddie with a complicated expression.

“Eddie-”, he starts but Eddie doesn’t let him go any further.

“No, Cap-”, he says, his voice voice desperate. “Bobby, please. Please don’t make me stay behind, not when they’re-” Taking a shuddering breath, Eddie runs a hand through his hair and over his face.

The room is silent for a long moment as Eddie just looks at Bobby, begging him silently to let him come with them. He knows just as well as his Captain that he’ll just follow them downtown in his own truck and he feels relief rushing through his body when Bobby sighs heavily.

“You’re coming as backup, am I clear?” Pulling the rest of his gear on, Bobby looks at him sternly, but not unkindly. “I know how you feel Eddie, we all do, but until you calmed down, you’re staying in the truck, understood?”

Eddie nods hastily as he puts his phone in one of the pockets of his turnout coat and grabs his helmet. Bobby looks at him a moment long, before he nods curtly and walks out of the locker room, trusting his team to follow him.

Eddie takes a deep breath as he catches Hen’s eyes on her way out, her cheeks still stained with her own dried tears. She presses a short, sweet kiss to his temple as she moves past him, squeezing his hand shortly, and it’s all Eddie can do to not burst into tears again.

He knows Christopher and Buck are alive, has seen it with his own two eyes, but the moment when that platform broke loose and crashed to the ground is still playing in his head. He takes a deep, deep breath and shoves everything far, far down. For a minute, he forgot how to do that, but it’s a skill he learned in the military, when the lives of his comrades depended on him functioning in terrible situations. It helped him several times since then in his new job as a firefighter and it’s helping him now too when he knows he needs to be strong for Christopher and Buck, needs to be strong for the civilians they have to save.

With another deep breath, Eddie puts his helmet on and jogs out to the ladder truck. When he climbs into his seat, Chimney squeezes his shoulder and Hen smiles gently at him. With one last reassuring look from Bobby through the rearview mirror, their captain starts the truck and moves them towards downtown LA.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fifty floors don’t sound like much when there are much higher buildings, but they feel like the tallest skyscraper in the world when you have to climb down the stairs from the very top with a bad leg, an injured shoulder and an eight year old in your arms.

Buck doesn’t really know how far down they are, the emergency staircase doesn’t have any numbers indicating the floor they’re on, and it feels like he’s walking for an eternity already. He’s tired and his bad leg and injured shoulder ache, but he doesn’t dare to stop, fearing another wave of shakes or the aftershocks that have yet to come.

Christopher is mostly silent in his arms, his head leaning tiredly against Buck’s shoulder. From time to time, Buck asks him if everything is still alright, running a hand through his hair and dropping a kiss on the top of his head. He knows this isn’t exactly normal behaviour towards the kid of your best friend, but if the tsunami and the earthquake of today have taught him anything, then it’s that he loves Christopher with all he has. It’s a different kind of love than he has for Eddie, but it doesn’t burn any less bright.

There aren’t many other people in the staircase, Buck has overtaken most of them a few floors down from the top of the building. He started out fast and he’s still faster than most of the other visitors, but his injuries slow him down and he’s getting exhausted. The building is still slightly swaying or maybe it’s just his blood sugar levels running low, either way, Buck has to make a conscious effort not to stumble over the steps of the stairs.

Taking a short break on a landing between two floors, Buck adjusts his grip on Christopher with one hand and leans the other against the wall beside him. There’s a faint tremor running through the stone and Buck feels fear seize his heart. There are already aftershocks, so minimal that he hasn’t noticed until now. Tightening his hold on Christopher, he continues walking, adrenaline now making him faster again.

He might be indeed dizzy, but it’s not only him that’s swaying, it’s the building too. He doesn't know how high on the Richter scale this earthquake would land, but it was definitely stronger than the one a few months ago. Since that got a 7.1, this one should place even higher. That's a terrifying thought and his heart stumbles as he thinks about what that might mean for the stability of the building. This is a relatively old skyscraper, it wasn't built with modern construction to protect a building from an earthquake.

They make it down two more floors when the building's motion gets stronger, the walls now seriously shaking again, cement dust raining from the ceiling. Buck tries to move quicker without alerting Christopher that something is wrong, but on the next flight of stairs, the building shakes so hard that he stumbles and falls against the wall with his injured shoulder.

Hissing in pain, he almost drops Chris and just barely keeps him in his arms. Something crashes loudly a few stories above them and he hears someone scream as the footsteps on the stairs get louder and faster. Feeling panic crawling up his neck, Buck tightens his grip on Christopher and starts running too, careful not to stumble again while the building is still shaking.

The noise above them gets deafening and Buck really hopes it doesn’t originate from what he suspects is the upper floors or parts of them collapsing. The dust in the air is so heavy now that it’s almost as thick as fog and just as whatever is happening above them seems to be catching up to them, Buck throws Christopher and himself through the open door of one of the floors.

Just in time to avoid the rubble and debris raining down in the staircase, Buck can only stare at it in disbelief. He moves a bit further onto the floor and plops down on the ground on his ass. The ceiling above them is moving too and just as he contemplates where they might be safer on this floor, parts of it cave in. Buck slides backwards on his ass as rubble rains down and he has half a mind to push Christopher out of his arms and cover him with his body as best as possible. He squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for the aftershocks and the movement of the building to die down, not wanting to see what is possibly happening to the ceiling above them.

Suddenly, agonizing pain explodes in his leg and he can't contain the scream that rips from his throat, startling Christopher still lying partially underneath him. For a moment, he thinks it's his bad leg that's suddenly hurting, that he pushed himself too hard. It hurts so much that it takes him a moment to realize it's the other leg, the good one, and as he dares to open his eyes despite the ground still faintly shaking, he's met with the sight of a relatively big piece of rubble pinning his lower leg down.

Already intimately familiar with heavy things crushing his leg, Buck instantly knows that this isn't as bad as the ladder truck pinning him down. It still hurts like hell, though, and he feels tears running down his cheeks against his will.

“Buck?”, Christopher's voice asks tentatively from somewhere still halfway under Buck. “Are you okay?”

Buck moves to the side as much as his pinned leg allows and quickly rubs a hand over his face to wipe away the tears. With a shaky smile, he looks at Christopher and runs a hand over the boy’s head.

“It’s alright buddy, it’s just a scratch.”

Christopher sits up as the building around them seems to settle. Buck grits his teeth and keeps the smile on his face, not wanting to worry Christopher, but the boy is neither blind nor dumb.

“Buck, your leg!”, he gasps and jerks forward as if to touch the large piece of cement crushing his leg. He stops himself at the last moment and looks up at Buck uncertainly, fear in his eyes.

“It's okay, I'm okay, Christopher.”, Buck tries to reassure, grabbing Christopher's hand and squeezing his fingers. “We just need to move the rock and then we can keep on going, okay? I'm sure your dad is already waiting for us downstairs.”

Buck smiles shakily, knowing it doesn't look very convincing, but not able to muster anything else right now. Sweat is starting to break out on his body and he feels it running down his temple. The pain radiating from his leg is almost unbearable and the chance that it's just badly bruised and not broken is very small at this point. Buck isn't sure yet how he's going to walk down another twenty floors with Christopher, but he knows he's going to make it somehow, there's no way he'll leave Chris in this building a second longer than he needs to.

Sitting up completely, Buck puts both of his hands on the piece of rubble on his leg and pushes to the side, trying to roll it off his calf. It moves only a little and he groans in pain, not able to roll it off completely. It's heavier than it looks and he's now almost completely sure that his leg is broken.

This feels like the ladder truck all over again when his team alone couldn't lift it high enough to free his leg. The only difference now is that he doesn’t have anyone at all besides Christopher that can help him.

He tries again, putting as much strength as he can muster in this position into moving the rubble. It only moves a little, the position of the piece of cement now even more awkward than before and Buck groans in pain. Suddenly, Christopher is right beside his legs, putting his smaller hands on the stone and pushing against it with all his might. Buck stares at him in surprise for a second, before he gets with the program and helps the boy, pushing against the rubble again too.

Even with two people, it’s a slow process and it takes them several minutes and attempts to remove the piece of cement completely. Buck hates that Christopher has to do this, but the boy seems determined in helping him, not that Buck is really surprised about that. Even when everything else goes wrong in his life, the one thing he can always count on is Christopher’s love for him.

With a last push, the rubble finally rolls off Buck’s leg completely and he lets himself fall back with a groan of pain. He can’t really tell if it feels better or worse without the piece of cement but he’s still relieved to be rid of the thing. Christopher lays down too with his head on his chest and Buck hugs him close, just catching his breath for a second.

“Thank you so much for your help, Christopher.”, Buck tells the boy after a moment. “I couldn’t have done it without you, you’re truly a superhero.”

“Of course Buck. I would do anything for you.”

Blinking rapidly, Buck tries to will the sudden tears away and gives Christopher another squeeze. “I know, buddy. I would do the same for you and your dad.”

Sitting up again, Christopher smiles down at him. “I know, daddy told me that. And he said he would do anything for you too.”

With a shuddering breath, Buck smiles back at Chris. “I know.”, he says and finds that he means it. He knows Eddie would do anything for Christopher and him and that’s exactly what’s scaring Buck the most sometimes. There’s seemingly no limit to Eddie’s devotion to the people he loves, but the lengths he would go to for Christopher, and for some wild reason Buck, are truly terrifying. But Buck understands him better than anyone else because he would do the same damn thing, would go to the same lengths for Christopher and Eddie.

“Okay, let’s keep moving buddy. We need to get out of here.” Buck somehow manages to stand up, carefully putting some weight on his injured leg. It hurts like hell and he definitely feels something moving that shouldn’t be moving under normal circumstances, but what is one leg? He would gladly give both for Christopher and maybe that should be concerning, but Buck doesn’t even blink an eye at the thought and scoops Chris back up into his arms.

Quickly checking his phone before they finally continue their way down, there's still no call or message from Eddie, or anyone else for that matter, but it's not really surprising since his own call didn't go through either. Buck is sure Eddie has tried to contact them the moment the earthquake hit but just hasn't been able to reach them.

He’s pretty sure the 118 has been dispatched to help with the damages and the people getting stuck or buried under buildings and there’s no way they haven’t heard what happened to the observation deck that Buck and Christopher came to visit. He just hopes Eddie isn’t panicking, thinking they were still on the platform when it crashed down. Putting Eddie’s mind at ease is another reason to get out of this building as soon as possible.

Buck takes a first step and almost collapses back to the ground at the way white hot agony shoots up his leg. He grits his teeth so as to not make a sound and alert Christopher, but it really, really hurts to put weight on his leg. He just tightens his hold on the boy in his arms though and keeps on going, almost able to ignore the pain after a few minutes, his mind so stuck on getting out of here that it works as some kind of distraction.

When they get back to the staircase, Buck gasps in surprise and immediately turns Christopher’s face into his shoulder, not wanting the boy to see what happened above them.

There’s no clear path up anymore, rubble and debris and pieces of metal are blocking the way and Buck really tries not to wonder if the floors above them have completely collapsed. The thought is terrifying, not just for Christopher and himself but also the dozens and dozens of people still in the restaurant or on the stairs above them.

Buck takes a deep breath and continues forward. He’ll get Christopher out of here and if it’s the last thing he’ll do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eddie is working on autopilot.

He’s going through the motions of rescuing people, bandaging minor wounds and extinguishing fires. He answers Hen and Chimney and Bobby when they’re talking to him, but afterwards he can’t tell what he even said. He shoves his worries about Christopher and Buck so far down that he’s sure his therapist will have a field day with it the next time he talks to her.

They get called to a collapsed building, then to a minor fire. A woman can’t get out of her car after a minor pileup downtown during the earthquake. Then another collapsed building and another and another. With every piece of rubble they move, they get closer to the business district, closer to Buck and Christopher, and with every step it’s harder for Eddie to keep it all locked down.

They can see the skyscraper with the broken off observation deck only a few blocks down from their position. Eddie knows he’s not the only one looking at it every few minutes and he catches his team’s worried eyes in between rescuing people and treating patients.

Through sheer luck, there haven’t been any casualties yet, but they all know the earthquake isn’t over. Everyone is just waiting for the aftershocks, the worry and fear of the people of Los Angeles almost suffocating around them. Bobby keeps looking worriedly at the skyscrapers downtown, not really keeping Eddie’s concern at bay either, and when he crouches down to help some of his colleagues move a piece of debris out of the way, his blood runs cold.

The ground is trembling, gradually increasing in intensity the longer he presses his hand to the asphalt. Eddie looks up and locks eyes with Chimney, but before either of them can shout out a warning, the ground gives a violent shake and Eddie loses his balance.

“Get down! Take cover!”, someone shouts and Eddie tries to get back up as the aftershocks of the earthquake shake the already weakened buildings to their core.

He manages to at least stay on his knees, supporting himself with one hand on the ground as he looks around to locate his team. Hen, Chimney and Bobby all seem unharmed, as do the civilians in their immediate surroundings.

“Oh no, look, there!”

Eddie struggles to look up as the ground keeps shaking, but he manages to turn his head into the direction one of the civilians is pointing at just in time to see parts of the building collapsing that Christopher and Buck are probably still inside of.

Absentmindedly, he jumps to his feet, only to immediately lose his balance again. Everything he shoved down for the last one or two hours claws its way back up with a vengeance and he feels panic overwhelming him. The crash of the upper half of the skyscraper collapsing is so loud, it sounds like it’s folding in on itself right beside them and Eddie can’t do anything but helplessly stare at it all.

With half a mind, he pulls his phone out and dials Buck’s number again, praying that it’ll connect this time and Buck will tell him in a second that they’re already safe and sound outside of the building. But the call immediately goes to voicemail again and Eddie hangs up, forcing down the urge to chuck his phone at the nearest wall out of fear and desperation.

The aftershocks die down almost at the same time as the skyscraper stops collapsing, now only half of it still standing. It looks straight out of a dystopian movie where the world is ending and maybe it does a little bit right now, at least for Eddie.

His heart is racing in panic, the beat of it so loud in his ears that he almost doesn’t hear the tell-tale crackle of his radio hanging from the pocket on his chest.

“All units on immediate standby for possible skyscraper collapse.”

Eddie hears Bobby answer something for their team, but all he can feel is a twisted sense of relief that he’s going to be close to Christopher and Buck soon. He stands up and looks back at Hen, Chimney and Bobby and sees the same relief mirrored on their faces.

Making sure the civilians around them are taken care of, they load back into the ladder truck to make their way the few blocks down to the business district.

“I still can’t reach Buck.”, Eddie tells them on the way, staring down at the dark screen of his phone. Chimney’s heavy hand lands on his shoulder as Hen lays hers gently on his knee.

“They’re going to be okay, Eddie.”, Bobby tells him, making brief eye contact with him through the rearview mirror. “Christopher is with Buck. Your boys are safe.”

Your boys

The words echo in his head as the truck rolls on, the short journey taking longer than anticipated because of rubble and abandoned cars standing in the middle of the street.

They are his boys, not just Christopher. Buck is Eddie’s too, in a completely different way than Chris. It’s a secret Eddie keeps close to his heart, always too scared to tell his best friend that he loves him so much more than that. After Shannon and Ana and every meaningless flirt, Eddie is pretty sure that Buck is the love of his life and he vows to tell him that when he sees him and Christopher again.

They stop right in front of the skyscraper and the damage and devastation they only saw on TV this morning is so much worse live and up close. Several other units are already there, ladder trucks parked all the way down the street. As they drive past to find a spot to park the truck, Eddie wonders why the police and the other firefighters are just standing around, looking up at the building and the entrance.

As they climb out of the truck, Bobby immediately goes over to the other Captains to talk about the situation and their plan on what to do. Eddie stares up at the collapsed top of the building, his stomach clenching as he imagines Christopher and Buck to be somewhere in there. His gaze swings down the outside of the building, the windows reflecting the sunlight so that he can’t see any movement inside. His inspection ends on the entrance where he recognizes Athena walking towards them.

“I just spoke to Bobby.”, she says as she stops in front of Eddie, taking his wrist in her hand. “Christopher and Buck are inside?”

Eddie nods curtly and looks down as Athena squeezes his arm in comfort. Before she can say anything else, Bobby comes back to them, his face grim and Eddie fears the worst.

“The building is too unstable to send in any rescue teams. They expect the rest of it to collapse too.”

White hot anger floods Eddie's veins as he thinks about Christopher and Buck and all the other people possibly still inside, now left to their own devices. Buck wouldn't accept this if he were here and Eddie doesn't either.

“Bobby-”, he starts and takes a step forward.

“I know, Eddie.”, the older man cuts him off, his eyes so unbearably sad that Eddie has to look away and clench his hands.

“Other units have started to evacuate the surrounding buildings. Most people already escaped during the earthquake but we're doing a sweep to be sure.”

“Bobby, please-” Eddie doesn't know what he wants to say, just that he needs to say, needs to do something.

“I can't-”, he starts and cuts himself off as words fail him. “I can't just do nothing.”

He feels tears burning in his eyes and has difficulty swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. He has to think of Buck again, of the way Eddie learned from him to show his emotions more after years of just shoving everything deep, deep down until it comes back up at the worst moments. As he thinks about it, everything comes back to Buck one way or another.

“It's too dangerous.” Bobby's voice is grave, almost choked with emotion, which is so very unusual for their Captain during an ongoing call that it momentarily stuns Eddie into silence. The anger and bone-deep concern is still simmering under his skin though.

“They’re still in there!” His voice is loud but not loud enough for anyone else but their small group to hear him.

“They're still in there, Bobby.”, he repeats quieter, his shoulders sagging in hopelessness. He's so close and yet he still can’t do anything to help the two most important people in his life.

“I know, Eddie. I know.”, Bobby says and then does something so uncharacteristically for him while still on duty that Eddie is left speechless. He pulls him into his arms and hugs him tight. “Believe me, if I could, if I wouldn't send you all into danger too, our team would be in there looking for them already. But we can't risk it.”

Then Bobby steps back and with one last regretful look at him, he turns and walks back to the other Captains, leaving Eddie to stare after him in utter despair. He looks back up at the building and wonders where Buck and Christopher are right now, imagining them walking through the building and making their way down. They're probably in one of the emergency staircases and it will only be a matter of minutes before they’ll walk out of the building and Eddie can take them into his arms and never let go again.

He refuses to believe anything else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s so utterly exhausting and so goddamn painful to climb down twenty floors of a skyscraper with a broken shin that Buck is almost convinced they’re never going to touch the ground again. His leg is numb with pain and burning like it’s on fire and Buck is only glad that Christopher seems to have fallen asleep against his shoulder because he’s not sure he could talk to the boy right now with how hard he’s gritting his teeth.

There’s not a single human sound coming from above them anymore and Buck dreads the implications of that. Further down the staircase, he can still hear footsteps and quiet voices though and he hopes those people will make it out unscathed. Hopefully Elena and her sister and that little girl are already out or on their way to that.

Buck can’t tell how much time has gone by since the upper half of the building collapsed. It feels like hours and it makes him even more anxious. It’s very likely that the whole building will fold in on itself, even more so when the aftershocks are not over yet. There weren’t any more shakes since he injured his leg, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.

“Buck, are we there yet?”, Christopher suddenly mumbles sleepily and startles Buck a little.

“Not yet buddy.”, Buck answers and squeezes Christopher even tighter to his body. He stops for a second to catch his breath and leans over the railing of the staircase to try to guess how many floors they have left. His heart skips a beat when he can clearly see the end of the staircase and he realizes they’re almost there.

“Almost there, bud, just hang on a little longer.”

Christopher buries his face in Buck’s neck in answer. “Dad needs to look at your leg when we see him. It’s probably hurting a lot.”

Buck brushes a kiss over Christopher’s head as he continues down the stairs. “It’s okay Chris, it just hurts a little bit.”

Now that he knows it’s not far down anymore, it takes what feels like an eternity to reach the ground floor. Buck feels his legs trembling from the effort of putting as little weight as possible on his injured shin and because he’s carrying Christopher with his good arm, he can’t really support himself with the other one. He just really hopes that his continuous use of both his injured limbs won’t affect them in any way. He can’t afford to be benched again, not after the ladder truck and the lawsuit.

Sighing in relief as he takes the final step of the emergency staircase, Buck leans against the nearest wall for a moment, resting his trembling body. Now that they’ve come this far, he doesn’t want to risk fainting until they’re out of the building. The door leading to the foyer stands open and Buck can see several people hurrying to the entrance. He doesn’t know if he’s seen them before on the observation deck but he’s just glad there are more survivors.

Adjusting Christopher in his arms, Buck pushes off the wall and limps out into the foyer. At the same moment he enters it, another door across the entrance hall opens and Elena and her sister step out with the little girl. They look a little worse for wear but seem to be fine otherwise and Buck breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t even know them but just seeing familiar faces feels nice.

Elena looks up just as Buck is about to call out to her. They’re alone in the foyer now and Buck knows at least that there aren’t any more survivors further up in his staircase. He assumes the same for the staircase Elena has come out of when nobody else follows after her.

Buck takes one step towards her, the entrance now closer than ever, when the ground suddenly gives a violent shake and sends him to his knees. He’s able to keep Christoper in his arms but his injured leg protests the impact greatly. Crying out in pain, he presses his free arm to the ground to steady himself, clenching his teeth against the slight sting in his injured shoulder. He feels something shift in his broken leg and tastes blood in his mouth from how hard he’s biting down on his tongue.

The building keeps moving even as the ground stops and Buck instinctively knows that the whole thing will come down in a matter of moments. He tries to stand back up but feels both his leg and shoulder protesting the movement.

“Buck, what’s going on?”, Christopher asks, still clinging to Buck, his voice filled with fear.

“It’s aftershocks again buddy. We need to get out of here.”

Once again Buck tries to stand up and manages it this time, clenching his teeth against the absolute agony radiating from his shin. As he takes a step though, his leg buckles underneath him and he sets Christopher down before he’s kneeling again. The building is groaning ominously around them, dust already raining from the ceiling. A sudden wave of hopelessness crushes over Buck as he realizes that there’s no way he’ll make it out of here with Christopher in time.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Elena coming closer as he kneels fully in front of Christopher, nearly on eye-level with him, and grabs both of his hands in his. Chris looks at him with wide eyes, the fear about what’s happening still there, and Buck already hates what he’s going to do in a moment.

“Christopher, buddy, you need to listen to me very carefully, okay?”

Chris nods at him silently and Buck squeezes his hands in comfort.

“I love you and your dad very, very much. You’re the most important people in my life and I would do anything for you. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you.”

Tears gather in his eyes at his own words and he swallows past the lump in his throat. He needs to get these words out before it’s too late. At least Christopher needs to hear them when he can’t tell Eddie too.

“Buck, what is happening?” Christopher is a smart boy and he notices that something is very, very wrong and Buck almost breaks as Christopher starts crying too. “I love you too. You’re my Buck, of course I love you. Is something wrong?”

“I love you so, so much. You’re like a son to me, even if I’m not your real dad. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could have spent more time with you and your dad.”

Elena is now standing directly behind Christopher, clearly having heard everything Buck just said judging by her wide and glassy eyes. She knows exactly what he’s going to do as Buck sees her looking at his mess of a leg and the shoulder she helped to set.

“Why are you saying that, Buck?”, Christopher cries and falls forward into Buck’s arms. “What’s going on?”

The building shakes again, this time without any aftershocks at all and behind them, part of the ceiling collapses with a loud crash, whirling dust and small pieces of rubble into the air. Buck hugs Christopher closer to protect him, before releasing him again to put both of his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

“I love you, Christopher. You’re forever going to be my superhero.” Buck presses a quick kiss to his forehead and then to his cheek, before letting go completely and shuffling back a little. Christopher is openly crying now and he sways forward as if to grab Buck again, but before he can do anything, Buck looks over the boy’s shoulder and right at Elena.

“Get him out of here. Please.” Buck is not above begging her, but he knows he doesn’t have to when she steps forward wordlessly and scoops Christopher into her arms, ignoring the boy’s struggles. There are tears in her eyes now and she looks so sad at the thought of leaving Buck behind that he can’t help but feel guilty for making a stranger do this for him. But if it means getting Christopher out of here and back to Eddie, he’s willing to do anything.

“I’m sorry.”, Elena says and Buck doesn’t know if it’s meant for him or for Christopher, probably for them both, but he doesn’t get a chance to answer as she quickly turns around and runs towards the exit.

“No, no! No, Buck! Let me go! I want to stay with Buck! Please! Buck!”

A sob tears out of Buck’s throat at Christopher’s desperate cries and he feels his heart break, one half of it now in Christopher’s hands and on its way to Eddie. He watches him struggling in Elena’s arms until he physically can’t anymore, the pain of losing Christopher and Eddie like this, the knowledge that they will be losing him, more than he can handle.

He falls forward and presses his forehead against the dirty ground, Christopher’s cries getting quieter and quieter the closer they get to the exit. Buck wishes he could’ve had the chance to see Eddie one last time, to tell him everything he bottled up for so long. Eddie deserves to know how much he is loved, even if he doesn’t feel the same for Buck. He wishes he could apologize, for getting his son into this dangerous situation again, for not being there for Christopher until the very end. Having Eddie’s back always meant having Christopher’s too and Buck failed at that today.

Buck straightens up again when he can’t hear anything besides the building crumbling around him anymore. He looks up just in time to see Elena pushing the doors open, Christopher’s arm stretched across her shoulder and towards Buck, as if he could grab him from this distance.

“I love you, Christopher!”, Buck can’t help but scream across the space separating them before the door falls shut behind them.

“I’m sorry, Eddie.”, he whispers to himself, just as the ceiling above him caves in. He looks around the lobby and can’t see anything besides dust and cement.

A moment later, his world turns black as the whole building collapses and buries him under it.