Chapter Text
What the fuck just happened?
Jisung stops walking, he just freezes mid step. When did he and Minho get so comfortable with each other that what they just did is okay?
No, let’s rephrase that. Why is Jisung only realizing what they did now, when he’s been walking alone to his dorm for 10 minutes straight, after saying bye to Minho and kissing him?
They spent the day together as usual, watching anime and eating junk food. Then they just fucking kissed on the lips. It was just a goodbye peck, sure, but he didn’t even realize that?
Jisung is standing in the middle of the empty road, it’s summertime so the chill wind feels nice against his bare arms as he just fucking stands there like a fool. What?
Did Minho realize that too? Did he do that on purpose? It cannot be. Jisung decides to keep walking, but his mind is fogged. What the actual fuck? It’s not like he and his members aren’t comfortable with each other, with all that flirting and ass smacking even in front of cameras, but this is different. They don’t just kiss each other.
It wasn’t even an accident, like when someone is trying to kiss you on the cheek and you move last second and your lips end up touching. No. It was a literal kiss, a light smack that lasted half a second, okay. But it happened.
Han arrives at the dorm still confused af, and his facial expression must reflect his thoughts, because Changbin raises his head from his phone and asks him right away: “Are you okay, Jisung-ah?”
Jisung snaps from whatever thoughts he was having at the moment and looks at Changbin in the eyes, standing frozen from a moment, arms resting stupidly against his side, doing nothing. He just blinks as Changbin chuckles, he must look really funny right now.
“Yeah, sure” he dismiss him as he enters his room and drops on the bed.
It’s almost dinnertime and Chan is nowhere to be seen, probably still working like the workaholic he is. As Jisung lays on his bed, trying to understand what to do with this weird feeling he’s having, he hears Hyunjin exit his room and go to the kitchen, chatting with Changbin in the other room. Jisung decides to join them to get any kind of distraction.
This is one of the rare days when they have time to properly cook dinner, as they are usually too exhausted from their schedule and they often end up ordering delivery. Jisung is glad that 3RACHA decided to get a dorm together (plus Hyunjin picked randomly, funny story), the work gets done easily like this and deep down right now he’s glad he doesn’t have to see Minho.
They developed this weird telepathic connection, maybe from spending every second next to each other. Sometimes it’s like the other members won’t even get them like they get each other. Is this why their boundaries are all blurred between them two? They are more physical with each other than compared with the rest of the members, always hugging and laying on each other any chance they got.
It’s like Jisung has the need to be physical with Minho. Playfully tho. Always playfully, in a sarcastic and vaguely flirting way. For cameras mostly, since STAYs really love Minsung content, but also because… He doesn’t know why, it just feels right. They always did, since pre debut. When Minho dropped all the honorifics after 10 minutes of knowing him. Weird guy. They soon started to be weird together.
“Yah, Han-ah” Hyunjin says, snapping Jisung from his thoughts. He looks up at him as he keeps talking. “You’re cutting it too thin” He grabs the knife Jisung was holding to cut the spring onion. Or, to better describe it, the knife Jisung was mashing the spring onion with.
“Oops” He just says as he lets Hyunjin do the job for him. In this moment Chan enters the dorm, greeting the others. Changbin runs to invade his personal space just to annoy him and Chan laughs. He has bags under his eyes and he’s wearing a beanie, which means he didn’t wash his hair today yet.
“Chan-hyung” Hyunjin says. “Can you help me cook? Jisung is killing my ingredients”
Jisung over exaggerates his gestures acting deeply offended, making both Chan and Changbin laugh.
The next day they have practice all together. Nothing new.
Jisung has decided not to address the confusing as fuck kiss he and Minho shared yesterday, and gladly it looks like Minho made the same decision on his own. Or maybe he didn’t even realize what happened. No, he must have realized it, right? Why is Jisung slightly pissed thinking about the possibility in which Minho didn’t even realize it?
They both act completely normal for the practice. There’s a camera today, for one of the ‘Behind the scenes practice’ video.
Jisung is acting like always, being a clown in front of the camera and around his members, making them laugh as usual. He drops on the floor during the break, acting exhausted, and Minho grabs the camera to film him up close.
“Han is dead” he says as he brings the camera close to Jisung’s face, and he’s glad he chose to wear a mask today, hiding his imperfections under it since he never wears makeup when he dances. Jisung decides to grab Minho’s wrist which he’s holding the camera with to playfully jiggle it, but Minho flinches and retracts his arm as he’s been burned. It’s not their usual ‘I’ll catch you’ game, it’s different, Jisung can tell. Minho doesn’t want to be touched by Jisung.
Now, that’s fucking new.
Jisung furrows his brows looking at Minho but he’s avoiding his eyes, now turning the camera playfully to film the others. Jisung lays on the floor, confused, following Minho with his eyes and turning his whole face to do so. Maybe it was all in his head, but Jisung feels weird now. It’s not like it’s Jisung’s fault, so why is Minho acting like that, now?
After practice they are all sweaty as they sit down on the floor and the sofa in the practice room to catch their breaths. Jisung looks around and he catches Minho already staring at him. But as Jisung lowers his mask, Minho’s gaze moves and he starts to talk with Felix about who knows what.
Jisung is pissed now. Why is Minho making it weird? He decides he needs a shower, so he just leaves the room without saying bye to anyone but luckily they don’t even notice it, being busy talking with each other.
Jisung goes to the nearest shower available on the floor they’re in at the JYP building, and he tries, really tries, not to think about Minho and his behavior, but he’s pissed. He’s ruining his mood today.
The water is running hot over his naked body and he just stands there enjoying the sensation for a minute with his eyes closed.
It’s Lee Know’s fault if he is uncomfortable around Jisung now, he didn’t do anything different than usual today. He was always able to touch him as he liked, and it has been like this for years. Now for this stupid kiss everything changes? No, it’s not fair. It wasn’t even on purpose.
Han doesn’t even remember how the kiss felt.
Well, that’s a lie. Han remembers how Minho’s lips felt. Even if it was brief, he felt the softness of it, the comfort in this gestures, so used to being comfortable with each other that it didn’t even register in their stupid brains right away. He smelt nice, like mint from the gum he was chewing before, and also like lip balm, his lips were so soft because of that. Jisung can even remember the smell of his shampoo, because it was strong when his face was so close to his nose, and maybe… moisturizer? From a face cream probably.
Now, why the fuck is he hard?
Jisung snaps his eyes open at the realization and looks down, almost to check if he was wrong. But no, his dick is hard under the running water and he stares at it with eyes wide open, as if he didn’t recognize it as a part of his own body. Did he really pull a boner just from the memory of Minho’s scent? He turns the water off and hurries to dry himself.
No, he won’t have this conversation with himself. He’s not gay, for fuck’s sake. It was just his dick reacting to a random pair of lips. The last time he kissed someone was years ago and he never has time to watch porn in his dorm and masturbate, so it’s just this, a human biological reaction. There’s nothing else. Jesus, get a grip.
It’s the next day and now it’s Jisung’s turn to make things weird with Minho. He can’t stop thinking about the shower episode as he watches him guide Jeongin’s arm in place after a wrong dance move.
When Minho lifts his head from Jeongin to look in the mirror in front of them, he suddenly makes eye contact with Jisung. They stay frozen like this for five whole seconds, which are a lot, looking like they see each other for the first time ever, and they both know that the other knows what he’s thinking about. Jisung stops staring just when Jeongin looks at him too through the reflection, with a confused expression on his face.
He can feel his cheeks turn red, hotness spreading across his whole face, ears and neck as he mentally screws himself for not wearing a mask today. Today there are no cameras, so the members are a bit more relaxed than yesterday. There are also no back dancers, so it’s just the 8 of them, patiently waiting for Minho to lead Jeongin.
Felix comes closer to Jisung and whispers into his ear. “What the fuck was that?”
Oh, great, did everyone notice the weird look he and Minho shared? He’s screwed.
“What was what?” Jisung tries to act dumb, but Felix furrows his eyebrows and just stares at him. This is uncomfortable. Luckily Minho stops talking with I.N soon enough and they go back practicing. Jisung is making an impressive amount of effort in avoiding everybody’s eyes in the mirror, just focusing on the music and the steps they learned a few days ago that still need to be mastered.
But everyone stops when Minho interrupts the music and calls: “Jisung-ah” Actually, maybe the whole world stops. Jisung snaps his eyes at him, looking like a clueless pray at Minho, who is now crossing the practice room to get closer to him.
Now, what is the worst thing that can happen, realistically? He can pretend to be dead, maybe it will work. Everything was fine when they avoided each other, kind of, so why is Minho suddenly so close to him now?
“You’re making a lot of mistakes today” Minho says with a neutral tone. Is he, really? He didn’t realize that. He doesn’t realize a lot of things these days, apparently.
What is he supposed to reply? ‘Of fucking course. It’s your fault, for acting weird and messing with my head. And giving me a gay boner. Also, fuck you.’
But he ends up saying: “Sorry” Great, now he’s also pathetic as well. Minho makes his lips go thin as he just watches him. Jisung thought he knew Minho well enough to be able to read his mind, but now his power is useless. “I’m tired today, I didn’t realize it” He hates that the new choreography is so complicated that he can’t just mindlessly master it like the old ones.
Minho suggests a break for everyone and they all gladly accept it. But Minho is not leaving his side as the other go grab a water bottle, Minho stands next to him. Staring.
Jisung is physically unable to move, under his gaze. His hands toying with themselves, his eyes drifting around.
“Are you okay?” Minho simply asks, with such a soft voice that makes Jisung want to cry.
“Yes, why shouldn’t I be?” Jisung fakes confidence as he speaks. Minho scans his whole face as he could read the lie underneath.
“Is this about what happened yesterday?” Minho tilts his head and asks this whispering, as if it’s a fucking secret.
“What happened yesterday?” Jisung is pissed now.
“Jisung-“ Minho tries to say softly but Jisung interrupts him.
“Minho, you’re making it weird” Jisung snaps at him, now angry. Why does he think it’s the right time and place to address this? He thought they would never talk about it, or at least not in the fucking practice room next to the others.
It’s a personal thing, and Jisung’s skin itches now, talking about it like it was nothing. Oh, wait, it was nothing. He’s confused.
“But you’re distracted today. It’s affecting the performance” Minho keeps speaking. Jisung rolls his eyes and grasps his hand to lead him to the alley, bringing this conversation outside, where no members can hear it.
“Why are we talking about it in here?” Jisung snaps, with a voice slightly harsher than he supposed to use. That makes Minho slightly flinch. They never fight, and when they do, they act annoyed at each other, not angry. Also, back in the days when Jisung was a trainee with an ego as big as him, he snapped at almost everyone but never at Minho.
“What-“ He starts, but Jisung can’t stop talking now.
“It wasn’t weird until you made it weird yesterday. I didn’t even realize it happened at first, so what? It was a mistake, like when you smack my ass a bit too hard, it’s nothing”
“It’s not nothing, Jisung-ah” Minho seems to be the pissed one now, he has half a smile on his cheek, but because he’s almost not believing Jisung’s words, not because he finds it funny. Jisung knows the difference on his face. It makes him even more angry. What is this conversation even about?
“Whatever, it happened, and now touching you feels weird. You looked like I insulted you when I touched your arm yesterday, the fuck was that?” He’s almost screaming now.
“Jisung?” Seungmin opens the door to check on them, hearing them argue from inside the room. Great.
“It’s okay, sorry I raised the voice” Jisung says, but Seungmin looks stunned to see that he was screaming at Minho, out of all of them. He nods and goes back inside, not needing to know more.
Minho blankly stares at Jisung. He surely didn’t expect the younger to react like this and now he’s speechless. Jisung is boiling with anger and discomfort and he wants an answer. He wants to run away from the conversation, or maybe slap Minho’s face. He would never do any of these things anyway.
“Are you okay?” Minho asks. Why the fuck is he asking this again?
“I already told-“ Jisung gets interrupted.
“You don’t look like you’re okay. I’m sorry if I crossed a line. Like you did, I didn’t realize I kissed you when I did. But I did, so I’m sorry to have created this situation” He stutter as he speaks, repeating himself in this embarrassing speech. Is Minho nervous?
“Hyung, you weren’t the one to-“
“I’m sorry Sungie, can we pretend it never happened?” Minho asks with a neutral tone. Now, why is Jisung hurting, hearing this question? His chest hurts. It seems reasonable to ignore the kiss since it’s making everything weird and it didn’t mean anything anyway, right? Ouch, it really hurts him.
Jisung just nods and Minho hugs him. Han flinches at the hug, feeling the sweaty body pressed against him all of a sudden, after such a rushed conversation. He hugs him back but it ends before he can even realize it, and Minho goes back inside the practice room, leaving Jisung alone in the alley.
Why is his heart beating so fast in his chest? He’s feeling… Sad? Why is that? It’s the best solution they could agree on, but it’s not feeling right to Jisung. With these uneasy feeling, he goes back inside the practice room.
The next day they don’t have anything scheduled, which is weird, and it leaves Jisung alone without any distraction. Chan went to work anyway, because of course he did, Changbin is helping him on a track and Hyunjin is out with Felix and Jeongin. Maybe he should have accepted their invitation, but just thinking about leaving the bed on their one and only free day made Jisung want to cry. So he decided to stay home, alone, with his fucking guilt.
Why is he feeling this way? It’s clear that he cares about Minho, and he looked distressed yesterday. So he’s just feeling bad for his friend, that’s it. He covers his face with his pillow as he starts to cry. He starts to ask himself why he’s crying, but he’s just tired. Tired of questioning every thoughts he has, tired of trying to understand what is wrong with him, why Minho’s words sounded so definitive about this situation, why his chest is aching, why his mind can’t stop thinking about his friend’s lips and why his dick reacted like that.
He’s Christian, his parents are Christians. What do they even think about homosexuality? He doesn’t agree with everything the Bible says because his faith has always been a matter between God and him. His parents never talked about it because he never had any gay friend, so it was just a never mentioned topic. Are they against it? Is Jisung against it?
He just cries for a while, allowing himself to be as loud as he wants since nobody’s home. He lays there and cries all his frustrations and his confusion into his pillow. It’s just such a big topic he doesn’t know where to begin with and he feels overstimulated.
When he calms down, he reaches for his phone and opens a Google page. He searches: Am I gay? A quiz pops up, and it looks ideal. He mindlessly clicks on it and starts to read the questions.
‘Have you ever had feelings for a same-gender close friend?’ Now that’s fucking specific. He reads all of the possible answers:
- I think so, that’s why I’m taking this quiz
- Wait, what’s the difference between friendship and a crush?
- Don’t think so, but we’re close and people joke that we’re dating
- We’re just friends
Did anyone made a joke that they’re dating? Jisung starts to question it. No, but STAYs love shipping them together, so it must mean something, right? He’s confused as he stares at the second option. He knows the difference between a friendship and a crush. Of course he does. So why is the friendship with Minho different from the friendship with, for example, Hyunjin? He’s confused so he ends up selecting the first answer. Moving on.
‘Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same gender?’
Ah, he’s screwed. He presses ‘Yeah and I’m not sure how I felt about that’ as quickly as he can, trying not to overthink.
The rest of the quiz tho is weirdly specific and it doesn’t apply to him. Maybe, he thinks, it’s because he’s an idol and he doesn’t share the same life experiences of a normal person. He decides to close the Google tab and he lays there. That was useless, but the fact that he took a fucking quiz to have answers should be an answer already. Normal people who don’t have doubts won’t ask Google. Ah, he’s so screwed.
He’s not homophobic or whatever it’s called, it’s just that he’s not gay. He is now old enough to be an adult, legally, so it must have been a question when he was a teenager, right? An adult doesn’t just randomly question his sexuality.
Also, him and Minho are two manly men, gays don’t look like them, who is supposed to be ‘the girl’ of the couple? Isn’t this how it works? It doesn’t feel right, tho.
Maybe it’s the idol thing again. Since he was a teen he’s been in the agency and his work absorbed any energy he ever had, so maybe that’s why this topic is popping up so delayed for him. Why isn’t there a gay quiz for idols?
He actually chuckles at his own thought as he sits on the bed. Crying and laughing in the span of 10 minutes, he’s gone mad.
There is someone he can call to ask about this. Chan has been in love. It was a long time ago and his feeling weren’t mutual, but he has. He also has a lot of casual sex. Maybe he could ask him a few things to try to understand if this situation is something more than a friendship, just to be sure. Without mentioning the gay aspect of it, of course. Because it’s not necessary, not because he’s ashamed. He’s not homophobic.
He calls Chan on the phone. It rings for a few moments but he picks up.
“Hannie?” He asks on the phone.
“Channie-hyung, are you busy?” What a dumb question. Of course Bang Chan is busy.
“Is everything okay?” Maybe he noticed Jisung’s voice tone. He’s been crying for a while now, and Chan notices everything.
“Yeah, sorry. Can we talk when you’re free?”
“Sure Sungie, can it wait until this evening? I really have to finish this-“ He gets interrupted by Jisung.
“Yes, thank you. I’ll wait for you at home, bye” And just like that he hangs up the phone call. Great. Now he has to figure out what to ask him without sounding suspect. Also, he has to figure how to do so without burning with embarrassment. He has a few hours to mentally prepare, so it should be okay.
When Chan comes back home Jisung notices it’s early. Too early for Chan to come back from the studio, so he must be really concerned about Jisung. That’s so embarrassing.
He greets him as he enters and removes his shoes, placing them in his obsessive, weird and slightly worrying perfect way in front of the door. Jisung is still home alone, Hyunjin and Changbin still out with the other members.
“Jisung, are you okay?” He asks right away. He must have sound wrecked on that damn phone call.
“Channie-hyung, sorry if I made you worry. I swear I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you about something, but it’s chill”
“You… Okay, yeah, sure” He sits on the couch next to Jisung and he looks at him like he wants to scan his face, sensing that something’s wrong with his leader superpower or something.
“I was trying to write a song today…” Jisung starts, with a notebook on his lap and a pen. He’s deep into his lie, so he came prepared. “A love song. And I realized I’ve never been in love, so it sounded fake. Like, made up. I want it to have a natural and real aspect, so I thought that I could ask you how you felt, since you’ve been in love before. Sorry if it’s weird to bring it up after years but I really need advice”
“Sungie” Chan sighs, relaxing on the couch, relieved that it wasn’t something bad. “Of course, ask anything you want” He physically relaxes into the couch and Jisung has never been happier that he knows how to act.
“So, it’s more about the discovery of your own feelings. Like, the realization of it. How did you realize that it was something more than a friendship with her?” Jisung waits as Chan thinks for a while.
“I think it happened gradually. Slow burn, I think it’s called. I’m not sure on the term tho, so don’t use it in your song. One day everything was perfectly normal and the next, I realized I had feelings for her. My world crushed because I cared about our friendship so much back then, so it was hard to admit those feeling to her”
“And to yourself?” Jisung asks, curious.
“What?”
“It was… Was it easy to admit those feeling to yourself?”
“Hannie” Chan smiles at him, with a confused look on his face, like Jisung is speaking a whole different language than his. “Having feelings is a beautiful thing. I didn’t have to admit anything to myself. I recognized them, cherished them and eventually confessed them. It ended before the relationship could even start just because she didn’t feel the same, but she was happy I felt that way about her”
Right. That’s how feelings are supposed to be like. To a normal person, at least. Because normal people are free to express their feelings, because they are allowed to have them. Jisung isn’t allowed to have feelings for a man. Not just a normal man, Minho. It could destroy everything they worked for…
No, he’s not being honest with himself right now. If Minho was a girl, he probably would have already figured everything out. But Minho’s a boy. Jisung and Minho are the same gender and it’s… Gross. Wrong. Fuck, but his lips felt so good. Does that mean he’s gay?
“Hannie” Chan says suddenly, snapping Jisung from his fucked up head. “Hannie, it’s okay” Chan sounds worried. Han makes a confused face as Chan hugs him.
Oh, when did Jisung started crying? He’s ruining Chan’s shirt with his tears and he didn’t even realize he was crying.
No, let’s rephrase that. He’s having a panic attack. Fuck, he was getting better. His chest rises and falls rapidly, his whole body starts to shake.
“Ch… Chan” Jisung starts to speak but the air just doesn’t want to enter his lungs. “I have to tell…”
Chan shushes him and tries to make him lay down on his back on the couch. He goes into the kitchen for a moment, Han already knows what for. A year ago Han used to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks quite often, and the doctor suggested to make him breathe through a paper bag when it happened: that way he would breathe carbon dioxide and after a while his body will naturally relax.
Jisung stays on the couch alone for an agonizing long moment, stiff as iron, his body not responding to his commands. Jisung always has to be so exaggerated about everything. He hates himself in this moment.
Then Chan comes back in a hurry with the paper bag in his hand and he brings it around his mouth and nose, kneeling on the ground by his side. It’s a bit hard to make him breathe in the bag since Han’s shaking so much he’s basically convulsing, but Chan’s used to that. He shouldn’t have been, but it’s Jisung’s fault that the leader knows how to make a panic attack go away. Jesus, he’s a mess.
“I have to… Chan… tell you something” Jisung is trying to say between erratic breaths. Chan just shakes his head making eye contact with his big eyes, trying to make Jisung focus just on his breathing and not on whatever is causing the panic attack in the first place.
And of course the situation gets worse. The main door opens, and if Jisung could see properly right now, he would be hit with the view of Hyunjin and Changbin chitchatting casually and freezing right by the door as the scene in front of them sets in. Gladly, Chan’s broad shoulders shield him from this miserable view. Of course it couldn’t remain something just between Chan and him. Of course life enjoys making Han look like the most fragile thing that ever lived on planet earth in front of his hyungs.
They close the door and stand back, knowing the right etiquette for one of his attacks. Because of course it happened in the past. He just wants to die in this moment. Anyway, they stay quiet and just fucking stare at him. Well, mostly at Chan’s back, but still.
Jisung wishes to be strong like him. With his position as a leader, he’s so sure about everything, he just knows how to live. He wishes Chan could share this knowledge with him from time to time. Times like this, when a simple romantic feelings triggered a whole panic attack.
And a big one too, apparently, because it just won’t end. The tears stopped a while ago, but his whole body still shakes uncontrollably. Jesus, everything hurts for the effort, he starts to wonder if he’d be able to practice tomorrow. He won’t, so Chan will have to tell everyone what happened.
Minho would just know.
“Sungie you need to stop thinking. I can physically hear you think” Chan says then. It would make Han laugh if he had any control over his body. He manages to look at Chan in the eyes. Oh, he’s so strong, he can just see it. Jisung grabs his arm to try to steady himself, like he could steal some strength from him like this.
“Hyung, can we help?” Hyunjin snaps from behind, unable to keep quiet.
“Maybe bring me a cold wet towel for his head” Chan says. Changbin and Hyunjin literally run into the bathroom together. Again, it would have made Jisung laugh. When they come back they have a towel each, dripping wet. One of them is laid on his forehead, the other one into his belly, soaking his shirt. Even if it’s a weird placement, it helps Jisung reconnect with planet earth, because the coldness makes him shiver, and it’s not a shake.
So he slowly relaxes onto the couch, with Changbin gently caressing his hair and Chan and Hyunjin kneeling on the ground by his side.
“I’m feeling better now” Jisung says when his body stops shaking and his breathing is almost back to normal. His whole body aches when he sits back up, resting with his back and head on the back of the couch. His eyes are closed, not wanting to address the worried eyes of his Hyungs.
“Hannie…” Hyunjin starts, not knowing what to say, just grabbing his hand strongly. Jisung squishes it slightly, enjoying the contact that grounds him, but keeping his eyes closed.
“I know, I haven’t had one in a long time. I’m sorry-“
“Jisung, don’t you dare apologize” Chan interrupts him. Right, the whole ‘It’s not your fault’ speech they had once.
“Do you want to tell us what triggered it?” He knows Changbin asked with sincerity, since before he used to share his anxious thoughts with all of them equally, but now it’s different. Now he has a secret. A shameful one.
“Can I just talk to Chan? I’m sorry Hyungs, but I really don’t want to make it everyone’s problem…” Jisung carefully asks. Of course they nod and reassure Jisung that it’s not their business and that he has to tell them just if he wants to. Of course, because they’re the best people on planet earth, and all he’s doing is making them worry.
Chan slowly grabs Jisung by his waist and helps him reach Han’s room. He patiently waits for him to start talking when they’re both sat on the bed, with their legs crossed, facing each other.
Han starts to nervously fidget with his sweatshirt lace.
“So, I lied to you” Jisung starts and Chan just listens carefully. “I wasn’t trying to write a love song today. I just wanted to ask you about your past relationship because I’m so fucking confused, Hyung…” Jisung sighs. He wants to tell him everything, maybe he could really help him figure this mess out. He’s Chan. He solves things.
“I have kissed someone. By mistake, I swear, but it happened, and now I’m a fucking mess but you got that part already” He says sarcastically. Chan just listens, nodding from time to time. “Chan-hyung...”
How can he say it out loud? He sighs again and looks into the ceiling. It physically pains him that he has to say this out loud. But sincerity is the only way out. He never thought this could be as big of a problem to cause a fucking panic attack.
“I kissed Minho-hyung”