Work Text:
I Dunkirk (July 2016)
It all started in July 2016. Though, really it started in July 2010 when Harry and Louis met but Louis forces his thoughts to not go there. It's too painful. Louis is perched on his cream sofa in his London home, casually scrolling through Twitter. Obviously not on his official account. He barely uses that one anymore. To be fair, his team seems to be more active there than himself, nowadays. No, he is scrolling through his timeline on his personal burner which may or may not be flooded by update accounts. He likes to keep tabs on his old bandmates though they barely held contact after they split up. He´s also not ashamed to admit that he´s been following quite a few Larry accounts; sue him.
However, this is how one particularly interesting news finds its way onto Louis´phone. He´s supposedly been on the set of Harry´s movie, Dunkirk, in the Netherlands. Louis must admit; the man in the photo does have tattoos in the same place as him and yes, Louis might own a similar jacket. In fact, he wore it just a few days ago. Yet, Louis knows that the fan´s speculations are not true. He should know. After him and Harry broke up in 2015 they rarely talked and after the band split nobody bothered to keep contact. There's this longing again- that aching longing. Louis misses Harry. He misses their relationship. But they never learnt how to be just friends, having been head over heels for each other since the beginning. That way it has always been strangers, lovers or exes but never just friends.
However, Louis regrets having let Harry go every second of his life. They were soulmates, partners in crime. They were everything until they were nothing. And it is probably going to stay this way for a long time.
Louis sighs, tears threatening to flood his blue orbs, and closes his Twitter app. He can´t bear feeling like this; feeling so empty and lost as if a piece of him is missing. It is a piece missing, in fact.
II Jamaica (September- November 2016)
Louis was currently in his rental home in Jamaica, cursing the heat. He is sweating through his shirt even though he hasn't moved in ages. Momentarily, he wishes for the cold and rainy London weather.
His legs are perched up on his sofa, he sighs. Bloody heat! Originally, going to Jamaica for a little retreat and to flee all his cloudy thoughts seemed like a good idea. His sisters practically flew him over after he wouldn't stop moaning to them. Truth to be told, he has a lot going on at the moment. Back then, when Harry was beside him- onstage, in hotel rooms, in the quiet space between tours- Louis never felt alone. Now, the silence wraps around him like humidity that he can't escape. Now, all of the pressure seems to crash down on him again. He feels so utterly lost and alone.
And, truth to be told, London reminds him of Harry. Home reminds him of Harry. Harry was his home.
His trip quickly backfired when Louis found out that Harry is producing in Jamaica. Great. They are so close, yet far away.
Louis grabs his phone, typing Harry's number. Then his shaking fingers hover over the call button like they did countless times this past months already. Fuck! It would be so easy to just call him, maybe ask him to meet up. But Louis knows he shouldn't. He can't. There's been this invisible wall between them ever since they broke up. The split of the band only enforced this wall. Solidified it. Nope, there's no way they can meet.
Which is ironic because Louis read that fan's figured Harry and him were in Jamaica together. That they were still going strong. As if…
A tear slips down Louis' cheek as he shuts his phone, laying it onto the living room table.
III Bday Harry (February 2017)
It's February 2nd and Louis is crashing out. Yesterday was the first time in ages that he wasn't able to wish Harry a happy birthday. And it sucks. Louis’ phone was in his hand more times than it wasn't but he couldn't bring himself to dial Harry's number or to even send him a text. His hand just hovered over the button, seemingly frozen in fear.
And today he regrets it. He regrets not only not contacting Harry but also the absurd amount of vodka he drank yesterday, leaving him not just slightly hungover. Fuck!
Louis' head (and heart) is aching as he lays on the white sofa in some rental in LA. He dreads having to fly in a little bit, joining Steve on the promo tour again. Hungover flights are always the worst. He learnt that a long time ago.
In desperate search of distraction from his aching head, Louis opens his Twitter app. The light of the phone seems too bright, making him squirt his eyes.
When he scrolls down his timeline, though, he's suddenly wide awake. Shit!
The fans seem to think he and Harry spent his birthday together. Apparently the background in the selfie he posted (again, a desperate attempt to distract him from his feelings) looks quite similar to the one in Harry's. And while that may be, the fan’s speculations couldn't be farther from the truth.
Then his sleepy mind takes a turn. What if the background is really the same? That must mean that Harry is in one of the houses nearby. Louis' heart speeds up at the thought. What if they accidentally meet each other. What then? Louis can't live with the shame of ignoring Harry's birthday. His thoughts spiral until they are too loud to ignore.
Groaning, Louis lets his head fall back against the backrest of his sofa.
IV Gucci set (Mid 2017)
Sometimes Louis feels as if the whole universe is against him; Or rooting for Larry, who knows?
He sighs in desperation, closing his Twitter app. Apparently, Harry wore a matching pair of Gucci trousers that go with his sweater.
Louis didn't even think of anything when he bought the item of clothing. Well, he did think of Harry but not in this way. Lately he's been missing him more and more, which lead him to watching the fashion show in hopes to catch a glance of his ex-lover. Joke's on him; Harry was nowhere to be seen, however Louis fell in love with this retro patterned sweater and instantly bought it. Some might call it retail therapy.
Anyways, Harry must have felt the same because he was seen wearing the matching trousers and obviously the fandom noticed. Sometimes, Louis thinks they are better than the FBI. Save for the fact that Harry and Louis aren't spending any time together; against their beliefs.
But they should, Louis thinks. He misses Harry and everyday without him, tears Louis apart.
Fuck, he misses him.
Sighing in desperation, Louis throws his head back against the couch and opens his messaging app, punching in Harry's number.
Before he can chicken out his thumb finds the call-button. There's a torturing beep before he hears a click.
“I miss you…”, Louis breaths into the speaker.
V Tweet blue heart (February/ March 2018)
Louis is fucked but not in the good kind; Unfortunately.
Ever since he called Harry that day one month ago they kept on talking. And talking. And talking.
And what started as longing in his chest has now developed into something far more dangerous- desire.
He misses Harry every second of the day now, his face lights up when he sees his name popping up on his screen. They have yet to meet. Secretly, Louis is glad they haven't seen each other again; he's afraid of his reaction. Louis is afraid that Harry might read him like a book. He's afraid that Harry can easily identify his feelings towards him; love.
There, he said it. It's love. It has always been love.
Harry used to read him like a headline and will probably ever do.
So, no, meeting him is out of question. At least for now. They've somehow found a common ground. They found their way as friends. Louis doesn't want to destroy that. He'd much rather have Harry as a friend than not at all plus he's afraid of hurting his feelings again. Louis loves Harry far too much to be this selfish.
His heart speeds up as his phone flashes, indicating an incoming text from the man in question.
Good morning sunshine, how are you today?
Louis' mouth contours into a smile, quickly opening the chat. He replies, wishing Harry a good day as well.
Fuck, he really misses having Harry next to him in bed. It's so empty right now. The sheets next to him are cold.
Louis opens his Twitter app and writes:
Missing it all lately.
Because it's true. Only a few seconds later his phone blows up with likes, retweets and comments. The devil works fast but his fans work even faster.
Later that day, Louis is scrolling through his burner account. Not even that can cure his lovesickness as it seems. He laughs when he sees fans theorising that he might be with Harry. Apparently they are connecting his post to Harry's post on Instagram the other day.
Oh, how he wishes Harry would actually be with him. Right there on his cream sofa.
VI IICF 2018
Louis wakes up in unfamiliar sheets. He's greeted with a smell that he instantly recognises. He would recognise it anywhere. That smell that is just so distinctively Harry. Harry!
The events of last night come back into his mind. After they've been talking for what seems like ages, they grew close again. Harry invited him to his show and Louis couldn't deny him. He didn't want to either.
That's how he ended up in a VIP box in Rio. That's how he ended up shedding a tear or two while Harry sang If I could fly to him. It felt just like back then when Harry sang it to him for the first time.
And that's when he knew: Harry feels the same.
The events after the concert are still a blur. They talked, they kissed and somehow ended up in Harry's hotel room.
Louis turns to the right and instantly gets lost in the familiar landscape of Harry's tattoos- the ship, the anchor, the butterfly on his chest. Every inked mark a reminder of their love. It never left them, just like the tattoos on their skin. Fuck, he missed him. Harry is tangled in the sheets, his upper body fully visible. His fingers trace the outline of the ship etched in there. He is real. He's really here with Harry. Louis smiles.
The man stirs and Louis lets go; doesn't want to interrupt Harry's sleep.
Instead he turns around, looking for his phone. When he finds it, he instantly notices his notifications from Twitter.
Fans must have caught up on the fact that he's been at Harry's concert. Some must have seen his silhouette, for others Harry's glances have been confirmation enough. Either way; they are right. Finally!