Chapter Text
You turned the key and the door opened. So he hadn’t changed the locks. You hadn’t expected him to and it made you feel dread. Of course, he wanted you to come back. It made you feel like you were playing right into his hands, even if you left before he returned.
You checked your instagram. Yup, party was still on going and he was still there. Thank god for him being so overly active on his social media. You would have the perfect tell when he was coming home. Not that he ever left a party before sunrise anyway.
You went into the bathroom and turned the lights on. You almost screamed at your own reflection in the mirror. Bruised and bloodied, not to mention your hair looked like you had lived on the streets for months. Well, you had been homeless technically but Mitsuri had taken you in, like the good soul she was. You didn’t even know her that well, you sat next to her in biology class in the very back of the class were you could talk about boys all class. Though that was mostly talking about who would make the cutest couples because - of course - she already had a boyfriend. Obanai, a very cold and direct person. You didn’t really get what she liked about him but hey opposites attract. Opposites, hm?
You washed the blood of your face, groaning in pain from time to time. Were you and him opposites? Probably not. You didn’t get at all what he found so attractive about you, you didn’t consider yourself outstanding in any particular way. Certainly not enough to warrant this… almost obsessive behaviour.
Defeated you threw the towel aside. It was no use, you had to take a shower after all. You checked your phone again. No new posts. You shook your head. Enough of the paranoia. He couldn’t get here that fast even if he somehow knew you were here and hurried.
It was a pain to get yourself out of your clothes and into the shower, your whole body hurt as it was even without moving so much. You just wanted to lay down in your bed.
Could you? Would he check your room? The thought was intriguing. You didn’t know how long your body would let you move around and finding a place to crash at was hard, given that your money was gone now and your phone was as good as dead.
After you finished your shower and dried yourself, you tried putting your clothes back on but it was as if the pain was getting worse by the minute. You stumbled over to your room. Assuming he left your stuff untouched, you could get a dress. Locked. You stared dumbfounded at the door. »Ok, guess not.« You didn’t have the energy to go looking for the key, the fact it was locked at all was strange, you honestly didn’t even know there was a key for the door. Though you guessed it made sense. What didn’t surprise you at all though, was that he wouldn’t tell you about it - much less give it to you. Because - of course - he always had to have access to you. You cringed.
You shook your head to silence your thoughts and forced yourself back into your clothes. They were simple, just a shirt and pants but both a bit uncomfortably tight in your current situation. You dragged yourself to the couch and crashed onto it. You yelped in pain. That was a great idea. After the initial shock it got much better. You reached for the blanket that has always been seated on top of the couch and found it was still there. It was your blanket. Blanket-kun you called it jokingly sometimes. He was never allowed to use it without your permission, he always said it was too warm for him anyway. A blanket too warm? No doubt, the man was a psychopath. You caught yourself smiling. No. Get some rest, then leave.
Where would you even go? To Mitsuri? She lived too far away, how were you going to reach that without any money? Involuntarily your thoughts shifted to the cash you knew he had in his room. No, absolutely not. Though would he even notice, so loaded with cash as he was? No. Stop. You would not steal.
You would figure something out.
Yeah right.
That’s precisely what you told yourself when your life broke down, when you were basically a shattered mess with no where to go. And who figured something out? Right, him. You weren’t even together back then. He offered that you could move in with him, separate rooms of course. You were wary but it was your best bet at that time. What you didn’t know back then, was that he didn’t conveniently have an apartment with a spacious unused extra room, oh no, as soon as you gave your okay, he just bought one and the week he said he would need to ‚clear some things up’ was him moving his stuff over.
You assumed ‚clearing some things up‘ meant getting mummy and daddy’s approval, given how it was well-known he was living off of their tremendous wealth. You teased him about it too and never felt so bad in your life when he told you they were dead.
It didn’t stop with the apartment either. He bought you just about everything. Your protest was in vain. »Why waste your time with a job when you should focus on school and it wouldn’t even make a dent in my finances«, he had said. Before you knew it, you had become completely dependent on him.
You know what your mum would say. »How could you get rid of such a good man?« Actually that’s probably what everyone thought. Your situation wasn’t a secret and he was beloved by teachers and students alike. Well, not all students but that didn’t matter.
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»You are n o t leaving.« You had never heard his voice more cold and demanding than when you had told him that you were breaking up and declared you would leave now. It sent shivers down your spine.
Mere seconds later he had you pressed against the wall. You had never felt so threatened, so scared.
»You can’t break up with me.« He had said, his tone very matter of factly.
»After all I have done for you, too?« Not a tint of anger or sadness in his voice.
»What do you want more?« As if he just had to give you something, as if it was still negotiable, as if you were buyable.
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He wasn’t a good man at all. He was a monster that lured you into its web until you were too tangled in it to escape. And you were tangled up too. Like a butterfly whose wings were completely trapped, vulnerable and helpless against the spider that was approaching it, a seemingly endless abyss of darkness beneath you. He never expected you to cut off your wings and plunge into the darkness.
But then you were lying on the ground, just as vulnerable and helpless. No happy end in sight. And now you had crawled up back to the web, hoping the spider wouldn’t notice.
You pulled blanket-kun over your head. Too warm? Pff.
You heard the door getting unlocked. Panicked you ripped the blanket off your face. The pitch black sky you had seen through the window had turned blue. You fucking fell asleep. The door opened. You hid underneath the blanket. Your heart raced. You wanted to die. He was here. Douma.
A dark memory resurfaced.
»Don’t let me catch you alone~«, he had whispered into your ear. You were sure your face had lost all colour at that moment. A threat.
He had threatened you. And now you were not only alone, you were hurt, nobody knew where you were. You were at your most vulnerable. Last time you at least had your phone to call help.
You listened to his steps with increasing anxiety, he went into the bathroom, turned on the light and… didn’t move. Why didn’t he move? It hit you like a brick wall. You didn’t clean up after yourself.
Fast steps drew closer. You clawed into the blanket and lay as still as possible. You couldn’t face him. The steps stopped right in front you.
‚Don’t let me catch you alone~’
You wished you could just disappear. Fall through the ground. Die in the mugging. Not having come here at all. Anything to just not be here.
Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder and flinched. Great. Now he knew for sure you were awake. You heard steps leaving, the sound of a drawer opening and closing and then the steps left the room. What did he get? What was happening? You were too anxious to move, not that that would help in any way.
An awfully long time nothing happened, making you wonder if you should try to escape after all, but then the steps returned. Your heart sank. The slightest shimmer of hope he would just leave you alone was gone. Arms wrapped around you roughly from underneath, you whimpered in pain. After they found the places that they were searching for, you were lifted from the couch. Blanket-kun was still covering you, protecting you from eye contact but you could feel his heat and steady breathing. You never wanted to be this close to this man ever again.
Hastily you were carried off somewhere, you flinched at the sound of a door being kicked open. You were placed on something soft, your hand reached up and found a pillow. Your pillow. You were in your room. ‚Ok‘, you thought to yourself, ‚now please just leave.‘ You felt the mattress shift as more weight was being put on it. You shuddered as you heard his voice uncomfortable close to your ear. »It’s okay. It’s okay.«, he cooed. He gently put his hand on your shoulder.
No, no, no, don’t fall for it. You tensed up. »What happened?« He started caressing your arm. Don’t respond. Play dead. »Y/N, what happened?« You pulled the pillow your hand had found down to you and put your head on it. He seemed to get the idea and stopped touching you for a moment, to pull your light bed blanket (Blanket-chan) over you. You gathered Blanket-kun in front of you and hugged it.
A hand reached under Blanket-chan and reached for your pants. Alarmed you tried to shove yourself away with your legs but you couldn’t apply enough force without it hurting. The hand found the button and worked to open it, all resistance you could muster up was a weak »No«.
He ignored your plea and removed your pants, you heard them fall to the ground. »It’s okay«, he cooed, before shoving his hand in your underwear. You shrieked and kicked despite the pain, he held you down with his other hand, while repeatingly cooing »It’s okay.«
He found your entrance effortlessly and shoved his fingers in. You squirmed against the unpleasant touch, even though you could barely put any energy into it. It made you sick to your stomach. You grabbed the arm that was holding you down and dug your fingernails into it.
He continued his attempts to soothe you. »Calm down. I’m just checking. You’re making it harder.« He shifted more of his weight on you to force your movements to slow down. A few moments later he removed his hand and let go of you. »Hm. Still seems fine.«
Your body fell limp and you sighed exhausted. Checking? Seemed fine?
Oh.
He thought you might have been… You physically shuddered at the thought. Either way, you don’t think you’ve ever felt this horrible in your entire life. Mugged, bruised, beaten, then violated in such an intimate way and in the care of the last person on this planet you wanted to see right now. Your thoughts shifted to your mother… well he still was in the top 3.
»I’m sorry. For everything. I messed things up.« Everything about this, tone, words and meaning seemed completely off for him, it made you peak out of your blankets. The room was completely dark. Wasn’t it morning?
He must have noticed your movement and took it as a sign to continue. »If I hadn’t, none of this would have happened.«
Yeah, had he been there someone probably couldn’t had sneaked up on you so easily and kicked you down. Tears started filling your eyes. They wouldn’t have beaten and kicked you, over and over and over until you lost consciousness. You wouldn’t have woken up, hurt and alone, in some alleyway, body aching, your valuables gone. You wouldn’t have been out at night in the first place, he would have driven you home.
Tears started crawling down your face and your breathing became uneven. You pressed Blanket-kun against your face, hoping to further muffle your quiet sobs. The weight on the mattress shifted, you could feel him lying down next to you. It made you even more upset. Couldn’t he tell you didn’t want this?
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to him. You wanted to scream. Blanket-kun protected you from having your face pressed against his chest but you could feel his heat on every party of your body. And as much as you wanted to hate this, no matter how upset and anxious your mind felt, your body yearned for comfort. It felt so betraying.
He pressed one of his legs in between yours, so your lower bodies could get closer.
You didn’t want this.
Being pressed into Blanket-kun was slowly suffocating you, so you had to move it a bit, so your face was free.
You didn’t want to be here.
Slowly your hands pressed against his chest and worked their way up.
You didn’t want to be with him.
Uncertain of your own feelings you looked up but all you saw was darkness. Then you found lips on yours. You tensed up. His hands stroked your back, while he was kissing you passionately. The tension that held your body captive eased, you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck and started kissing him back.
You shouldn’t do this. But your heart had missed him so fucking much. And as shameful as it was, your body had missed him even more.
Your mind and every rational fibre in your body was screeching at you to stop, while your body just kept going. Your emotions, too, were a complete mess. You were miserable and happy. And you were scared. Scared, that now that you had responded to his advances, he wouldn’t stop. What he would do to your hurt, vulnerable body, given he had already ignored your pleas to stop earlier? You shoved it all away. Who cares. Nothing matters right now.
You grabbed his neck and pushed your tongue in his mouth. His breathing got more erratic and he welcomed your tongue with his. You greedily explored, savouring every taste of him you could get. You parted lips as you took a deep breath. You felt so exhausted. If your heart wouldn’t race so fast, you would probably fall asleep in seconds.
He took the freedom to attack your neck, biting softly into it. A quiet moan escaped your lips, which seemed to send him over the edge. He stopped and shifted you around, so you lay on your back. He brought his hips down to yours, while his upper body loomed over you. Then he rubbed himself against you, but your body had taken too much trauma. You cried out in pain. He immediately lifted himself up again. You needed a few moments to collect yourself, while the pain faded.
You wondered what he was thinking or feeling. He usually was q u i t e vocal during… all activities in life actually, you’ve never really seen him this quiet. You lifted your knee, pressing it between his legs. He gasped. You were probably just imagining things, but you thought you could hear indignation in it.
God, what were you doing.
Moments flew by with nothing happening, sleep clawing at your mind like a hungry demon. You closed your eyes for just a moment, or so you thought.