Chapter Text
Janet was furious, too angry to sleep. Rachel had pushed her too far this time, randomly shagging that prick in her house, waking her impressionable young daughters with her mindless drunken groans. Rachel was as bad as her mother. She'd really let herself down. She'd played Sean around, leaving the poor lad not knowing whether he was coming or going, paid no heed whatsoever to their marriage vows, then broken his heart.
And now this, her second episode of foolish drunken adultery, just two weeks after the first. Fine, if Rachel wanted to live like that, so be it, but don't bring it to Janet's family home. And she was sick and tired of being caught up in the wreck that was Rachel's life. This was the final straw. She wondered how they'd ever been friends in the first place, their differences were now blindingly obvious.
She went over the slanging match they'd had half an hour ago in her car. They had both played it dirty, knowing that comparisons to their mothers would enrage the other. Janet didn't like hearing herself being all high and mighty like her mum, and didn't want to fuel that image of her in Rachel's mind, but she couldn't help it. Not that she should care what Rachel thinks of her, at least Janet can control her drinking and keep her knickers up. Rachel may see it that Janet's too old and starchy to have fun, but better to be like that than the calamitous lush that Rachel was becoming.
Janet tried to make that her final thought on the matter. She had a sip of water, turned out her bedside lamp and sunk down in to the pillows, determined to get at least a few hours sleep before what would no doubt be a difficult day ahead. But within five minutes the white blaze of fury in her head was eclipsing the darkness of the room. So fucking angry, and let down, and incredulous that someone as clever and intuitive as Rachel could be so dumb and thoughtless. And Rachel didn't even like Kevin, the closest she got to affectionate emotion towards him was sympathy, on the numerous occasions Godzilla had ripped into him for his foolishness, and even then Rachel usually agreed with what Gill was saying. Why did Rachel waste herself like this?
Giving in, Janet got up, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. She considered making a hot milk to try to settle herself down, but found herself reaching for the brandy bottle instead. She poured herself a modest amount, and sat down wearily at the kitchen table. She took a hungry gulp of the deep amber liquid, and enjoyed the burn of it on her tongue and the warmth of it in her throat.
She sighed deeply. She couldn't get the image out of her head. Rachel and Kevin, naked. Thankfully all she could remember of Kevin was his stupid white flabby arse, and his gormless shocked face, but Rachel was clearer in her mind. Very clear. And the image of her that seemed now to be irrevocably etched on Janet's brain, made her gulp another heavy swig of brandy down. She really needed to analyse the anger the image caused her, but she was too tired and too angry to do so.
The kitchen clock read 2:27am. Great. Days were tough enough in their job without looking rough, feeling crap, and having had a blazing row with your ex-best friend and closest colleague. They usually weathered the bad days together, helped each other through, but that wouldn't be the case tomorrow, and probably not ever again. Janet downed the rest of the brandy, choking slightly on it, and trudged back up the stairs, wishing sadly that by some miracle all could be well in the morning.
The alarm blared rudely. Janet fumbled and smashed at it. Christ, how could it be 7am already? She felt like she'd only just gone to sleep. Instinctively she checked her phone, nothing. She lay her heavy head back down on the pillows and considered the day ahead. First, there was her mum and her girls to face, which wasn't going to be easy after last night's episode, followed by a grim case at work. And then there was Rachel. Rachel hungover and in a foul mood. Janet longed to hide under the duvet, but her responsibilities wouldn't allow it.
Rachel awoke blearily to the sound of a man singing in the shower. But it wasn't Sean's voice, and this wasn't her bed. What?... Kevin, bloody Kevin. She groaned into the pillow in realisation, and recoiled when she smelt the red wine and cigarettes on her breath. She reached out to the bedside table for her phone, not there. Stumbling off the bed she searched for her handbag. She found her bag, under yesterday's work clothes, and dug out her phone. Nothing on there, and almost out of battery. 7:25am, she had to be at work by 8am for the team brief. Janet would have usually text her by now to check she was awake, but no, she remembered, after last night, obviously not. Rachel sat back down on the bed and sighed, a dark sigh from deep in her soul. What a mess, what a horrible mess. She wanted to cry, but there's no way she could risk Kevin seeing that.
Her head pounded, her stomach felt both hungry and sick, she knew she must be a mess to look at, and she felt disgusted at herself for once again sleeping with someone she didn't feel anything for. Her life was a wreck, the only good things she'd had going for it were work, and Janet. Now she didn't know how things stood between her and Janet, and she knew she couldn't show up for work again in this state. She just couldn't face it, and more than anything, couldn't face Janet.
Kevin's singing was bright and had a triumphant ring to it which made Rachel feel ten times worse. She couldn't face him either. She guiltily made a snap decision to get the hell out of there. She pulled on her work trousers and crumpled blouse and jacket, pushed her feet into her shoes, not taking the time to put her socks on. Glanced at herself quickly in the mirror, and regretted it. She grabbed her bag and just heard the shower stopping as she hastily exited Kevin's bedroom. Heading for the stairs she remembered with dread that Kevin still lived with his mum. She had to be quick. She darted down the stairs, fumbled with the 2 security chains, and as she finally got the door opened, she heard from behind her,
"Not staying for a brew love?" A sweet motherly voice came from the hallway behind her. Rachel turned and saw Kevin's mum, in her pinny, rollers in her hair. She looked so comforting, and Rachel almost wanted to run to her and be soothed by tea and kind words.
"I'm so sorry, I can't, I'm late for work. Bye!"
And she left. Yes it was rude and it was cruel to Kevin, but she couldn't face any of it. He was a prat, but he was basically decent, like Sean. She didn't mean to mistreat these men, she didn't know why she did, and she certainly didn't have the mind space to analyse her reasons at the moment.
Out in the harsh morning light her eyes screwed up trying to protect her head from more pain. She didn't even know where she was. She walked quickly until she was out of sight of Kevin's house, then pulled out her phone and checked her location. Just under two miles from her flat, she would walk. The way she was feeling she couldn't even bear a conversation with a taxi driver, and she was afraid she might be sick. She had to get home. She had to be alone. She was rapidly closing down inside. But there was one immediate problem - work - Gill. If she phoned in sick Gill would hear the traffic. And she probably didn't have enough battery to make a call. She did what she knew was not really acceptable, and hurriedly wrote her a text.
"Gill, I'm sorry, can't be there today. Will explain when I can. I'm sorry."
It was all she could manage. She didn't want to lie again. Things were already fucked up enough.