Chapter Text
Wind chimes.
Staring into a sky as bleak as his morning coffee, Tsukishima Kei understood the necessity for those dangling pieces of glass and metal.
He watched them sway with the chilled, winter breeze, blowing their tune softly through a quiet existence. Their song was enticing and he couldn't help the slow lull of his head and his drooping eyes.
He opened them to find zooming cars on a bridge and a man running beneath a shield of a white umbrella. His eyes stung as he watched the passerby, a punch to his gut, a silent blow to the chest.
Dripping drops of crystal rain shed like falling tears to the pavement and still, the wind chimes’ tune sang throughout this stormy afternoon. Kei circled his eyes over this new-found intriguing object.
But of course, as do all things in his life, the allure soon vanished and he was left with only light sounds against a dark backdrop. He grew bored of them, finding them only a momentary companion in this solitary moment.
"Why did you like the rain, again?" He murmured under his breath, almost devoid of sound, the question lingering in the silent air, no one to answer.
He sniffed, cleared his dry throat, and began his walk. He didn't turn back to the wind chimes, but could distinctly hear their slow clatter of a carol. It sounded of a goodbye, but he didn't pay any mind, only ruffling his hand through his damp mess of blonde hair.
The chimes sounded in his ears until he turned the corner and into a busier street, losing their tune completely. Yet, still they stayed, swaying.
Yamaguchi Tadashi watched the rain splatter against a cafe window, anticipating the end of his phone call.
“How serious is it?” He asked, lowering his voice when a couple walked past his table. He dropped his head lower, his left palm only barely keeping himself upright as he listened to the other end of the call. The doctor’s voice was solemn. Tadashi bit his lip.
“...I don’t… is it really-- I mean, what are--what are my options? We… have options, don’t we?”
The voice was quiet, but after a moment they conceded, planning out different routes, but Tadashi could feel a hammer hit his brain. He already knew the circumstances were too far gone from his control.
He put a hand to his mouth, muffled the long, shaky breath escaping his lips. He nodded again, perked a smile for god knows what reason. He felt he had to smile.
“Yes… I can meet with you Sunday. Thank you for your time… Goodbye.”
He set his phone on the table in front of him, pushed his hand through his hair and stayed silent for a few, long moments. There was a numbness in his motions. He blinked, tried to cry, tried to prove to himself the reality that now faced him. But all he could do was sit, without thought, without motion. Sit and breathe and listen to the rain.
He stared at the coffee on the tabletop, as bleak as the sky. With a last sigh and wipe at his eyes, he shook out his shoulders, wrapped a hand around his umbrella, and began his walk back to work.
He could just forget this ever happened. It was no big deal. Really…
He didn’t believe this could have...
No, nevermind. Everything was going to be fine.
Besides. They had options.
Tadashi turned his head up, blinked several times over. His sneakers squeaked, sloshed in the dark puddled pavement. The drops splattered, endless, on his white umbrella, covered in the wetness of the bursting clouds. The splashes hit his ankles and he could feel the cold touches of water through his socks.
His eyes wandered to a breathtaking view.
Buildings, all covered in the same murky atmosphere. His eyes shifted to their crowned roofs, to each individual door with varying designs, holding the interiors of places he would likely never know. The bridge was something he also marveled. Here, right underneath, was a sight he looked forward to every day when returning to his job. Vehicles swam in this weather, gliding to destinations he would also likely never know.
He could hear the drops patter above him and the chorus of chattering traffic and the tinkling of wind chimes which whizzed past his ears. They sounded of bells he remembered in his childhood. A small smile met his lips as he remembered tales of fairy dust and magical lands his mother would associate with the sweet sound.
He felt something wet hit his cheek. He tried not to notice; it was probably only the rain.
He rounded the corner, the sound getting further and further away until he found himself no longer able to hear it. The melody drowned out in favor of vibrant cars and a mixture of continuous noise. The chimes became lost.
He returned to work, the umbrella releasing the gathered water atop its head and shaking out the rain.
The ticks of time, always in its perpetual rush, kept him going and he found his way back to his desk as before. The wind chime tune shifted into a drawer in his mind and was kept away.
Kei walked down the hall and to his office, and only then did he slump and release his heavy sigh. His fingers tousled his locks of hair and his lids covered his eyes of reality. He breathed in... out... in... out…
"Tsukishima-san..."
He opened his eyes and straightened up in his seat, looking up at… an intern, was it? He could see him in slight concern, his brown hair spilling small droplets from the prior rain. He sat up, rubbing his hand over his eyes.
"Yes, what is it?" He answered, voice groggy, and stood, made a gesture for the man to tuck in his shirt.
Tadashi nodded back before hastily tucking it in, heated cheeks filled with embarrassment. He clutched the papers in his hands, squeezing them tight. He cleared his throat, always intimidated by the blonde. It wasn’t exactly that Tadashi was scared of his superior, even with his tall stature, but… he held an air about him. Almost like a spiked wall which hid all the man's inner emotions. Tadashi wasn't sure he wanted to know what lay behind that wall. Well, maybe that's the thing that scared him.
But, it was really a small admiration which overrides all Tadashi’s fears of the man. Ever since he’d been introduced on his first day. He liked his honesty. Above that, he was simply grateful to him.
"You... missed the meeting today."
Kei leaned on his desk, folded his arms in front of his chest. He considered the man in front of him, but left his eyes trained elsewhere in thought, brows knit.
"Was there anything important I missed?" He asked, absentminded.
"Well, we were discussing design ideas for the new building hall down--"
"Anything important that I don't already know?" He raised an eyebrow, watching the other shift.
Tadashi took a breath and shook his head.
"No, sir,” Tadashi breathed out, noticed the dark circles under the other’s eyes. He kept quiet.
Tadashi handed him the papers he'd been clutching and Kei took them, silent. He stood back, watched as Tsukishima stayed sitting at the edge of his desk in thought.
The bells of a clock rang outside in the distance and Tadashi nodded to the man before leaving. Even as his actions were left unnoticed, Tadashi still felt a small heat rise to his cheeks from embarrassment at himself. He simply shook himself out of it in the hallway, took a breath, and returned to the solitude at his desk.
The rain never let up. At least for a moment it may have. But the day was immersed in a dark cloud which hung over it. The white umbrella made its way up once more. Tadashi could have sworn it may have smiled at it.
It was cold out, but to Tadashi, the cold was comforting, the wind soothing against his cheeks. His eyes glinted of a rainbow of umbrellas and rain coats, all splashed in the same water, all sharing the same road and walking the same paths.
Work was slow that day. Hours were shorter due to a storm brewing. He never called his mother about it, couldn’t bring himself to talk to her on the phone before talking to her in person. It felt strange, and he knew why it felt strange, but he pushed it out of his mind, became numb to the feeling once more. He crossed the corner from the busy center street of dazzling lights and rushing people to the quiet one with the bridge and the wind chimes. His eyes lit when he heard them. They clanked in the breeze and sang out in a bittersweet tune. He glanced to his side at them, pieces of shells and colorful glass--
He tilt his head. The wind chimes still swayed as a clap of thunder sounded out in the wind.
"Tsukishima-san?" He called out to a man beneath the coverings of a gutter and a flickering light next to the wind chimes. A blonde head of hair shifted. Tadashi could see the squint of his eyes through his fogged glasses as he walked near.
Kei lifted his head in response, a pair of white headphones placed atop his shoulders.
Tadashi came closer, looking around and facing him, but once he met him, he didn't know what to say. He had no response and wondered why he called out to him at all. Maybe he was bothering him. Maybe he should just head home.
They stayed in silence for a few seconds more. Then Tadashi, pushed by courage, closed his umbrella, and gathered under the gutter cover with him.
Kei raised a brow at him, leaning against the brick wall.
"Don't you have somewhere to be, Yamaguchi-san?" He asked.
Tadashi looked at him and gave a small, shy smile.
"Well, don't you?"
Kei rolled his eyes to the side, stuck his hands in his pockets.
"You shouldn’t answer a question with a question."
"...I'm stalling then," Tadashi spoke up and gave him a pointed look.
"Would you mind answering mine now?" He asked, though the sentence grew softer towards the end as his confidence dwindled.
"Stalling? For what?" The man inquired and gave him a skeptical glance. Tadashi only sighed and tapped his fingers on his umbrella.
"Tsukishima-san, it's rude to answer a question with a question," he sang quietly back to him.
Kei rolled his eyes and looked up. He stayed quiet and Tadashi stayed patient.
"I'm listening." He made a gesture with a wave of his hand to the city and the chimes and the bridge.
"You can hear everything right here," he murmured. "...It's nice."
Tadashi looked at him with understanding, not saying anything for a while and attempted to listen to his sounds. The sprays of water from a traveling car. The taps of shoes against sidewalk. The distant thrums of thunder.
He decided to answer his question.
"I'm not ready to go home yet," he admitted and looked at the bridge.
"Hm?" Kei asked, lost in thought.
“You asked why I was stalling. I'm not ready to go home."
Kei decided not to ask further, only nodded and glanced at the rain, looking at his surroundings with distaste. He honestly couldn’t fathom how someone could like this weather.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Tadashi asked. Kei glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, forgetting he was there for a moment. He scrunched his brows.
“What?”
“The wind chimes,” Tadashi inclined his head to the object over their heads. He made a small smile, but Kei only shrugged. Tadashi felt himself shift. “It’s just… sounds kinda nice with the rain.”
“I hate this weather.”
“Why?”
“Why would anyone like it is the question.” Kei folded his arms over his chest, but Tadashi could only shake his head, hum a quiet laugh.
“I think you might just be looking at it in the wrong way.”
Kei looked at him and Tadashi shrunk under his gaze. “Storms cause power outages. They cause colds. They’re a sweeping mop on society.”
“Maybe society needs a mop every now and then?” Tadashi spoke up with a shrug. Kei only turned his head to look out at the road. Tadashi rubbed his thumb over the end of his umbrella. “Not that-- you know, that I’m meaning to argue with you, but…”
Tadashi sighed to himself, shaking his head in a small manner and looking up. “The rain is nice sometimes…”
Kei blinked, glanced down to the sidewalk and back to the street. He said nothing on the subject further, only glanced at the man trying to make conversation with him on one of the worst days of his year. Somehow, he felt no real anger toward him, didn't feel the need to place on his headphones.
Maybe it was nice to talk to someone again. To conversate.
He shook his head at himself.
"How long have you worked here?" He asked, sudden.
"Two years,” Tadashi answered immediately. “You, um, you actually showed me around on my first day. You seemed..." he trailed off and widened his eyes, looking away.
Kei furrowed his brows.
"I seemed?" He asked lowly.
"You just seemed a lot... happier..." Tadashi finished softly, and for the second time that day, heat rose to his cheeks. But, this was something else entirely. The worst part was being unable to clarify the feeling. "Your... your eyes were brighter. A-and... I don’t know, you just seemed… happy."
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The rain fell slower and softer. Both heads stared up to a shifting cloud. Though this wasn't the last of the storm, it was a break in it.
"Didn't know you paid so much attention to me," Kei decided to say.
He didn't notice his companion in a fluster. His cheeks were rosy, knuckles white from how hard he clutched the umbrella. All coherent words stuck in his throat.
"I guess I did." Tadashi felt the words slip out, winced at himself.
There was silence once more. A shifting pause. A thoughtful quiet.
"You seemed a lot happier then, too," Kei said, glancing at Tadashi for a moment. Tadashi looked back to him, furrowed his brows with slight shock. Kei sighed.
“I can tell. That whole trying to cover something with a smile look. It’s very obvious on you,” He shook his shoulders, looked to the bridge. “It’s ridiculous to do that.”
Kei turned his head. Tadashi looked down.
“So what’s wrong?”
Tadashi bit his lip, blinked, counted his shallow breaths.
“My mom’s sick.”
He wasn't sure why he'd said the words, and he wasn't sure how his supervisor, a stranger, could see his facade. But, he felt a weight release when he'd spoken, didn't know the reason for that either. The last drops of rain signaled their final goodbye. Both found the silence as more of a raw, openness than a shallow comfort. Kei only stared at the pavement. Tadashi decided that closing his eyes was the best option.
“I’m sorry--”
“We have options,” Tadashi spoke quickly, looked up to the man beside him. A stray tear fell down his left cheek. Kei noted the freckles against it. He only nodded back.
Silence.
“It’s my brother’s birthday.” He let the words drift in the air, noticed the hard tug at his chest and a constriction in his throat. He swallowed. “He…” He started to say, but withdrew. He had no reason to tell the man anything and yet he mustered half of the truth.
“I haven’t seen him in a while.” He ended up saying, masking his voice, tone hard.
Tadashi looked up, made a half smile, apologetic yet hopeful.
“Maybe when you talk again, you can tell him Happy Birthday. Break the ice?” He sniffed into his sleeve, wiped the last of his straying tears. Kei only narrowed his eyes at his shoes, gave another shrug.
He looked above at the slow perpetuum of falling drops. The sky was beginning to clear just enough to be able to walk underneath.
“I hope,” Kei started to say under his breath. Tadashi peeked up, furrowed his brows and inclined his head. Kei took a breath. “Hope everything works out. For your mom.”
Tadashi widened his eyes, blinked. “Thank you, Tsukishima-san.”
Kei only nodded. With not much more than a last sigh and flickering wave, he started to walk, his hands fitting his earphones above his head.
Tadashi watched him leave and felt a sudden flip in his abdomen. Something he never knew he could feel. He brushed his fingers across his wet, freckled cheek, walking away as well. The white umbrella rest atop his head once more and the wind chimes sang loud, even past the corner.