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Benny has only just put his feet up when he hears a knock at the door.
It’s been a long day and it’s just gone seven o’clock. All he wants to do is crack open a beer and unwind, but now he has to get back up. Ugh.
There’s another impatient rap at the door and he drags himself up, calls out, “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
He doesn’t bother to peer through the peephole before swinging it open, and there’s Usnavi, practically vibrating, his face the very image of uncertainty.
Something’s not right.
“What’s wrong?” Benny asks, drawing back to let him in, suddenly anxious at seeing Usnavi like this. “Did something happen?”
Usnavi half shrugs and tilts his head in a vague non-gesture. “Kind of, I mean, nothing really but I need to talk to you about this and I just, I know it’s invasive and wrong and I-”
He’s talking a mile a minute and Benny gestures to the stool by the table. They both sit.
“I didn’t mean to watch the video, I mean I wanted to watch a video and I mean yeah, the guy looked like you, I wanted someone that looked like you, but I didn’t think he’d actually be you, I mean, your tattoo, and I know I should have turned it off but then you said my name and it was so hot, Benny, like, really really hot and I know I crossed a line but I just-”
What’s he talking about? A video with Benny in it? Did Usnavi just call him hot?
He’s not gonna allow himself that false hope. It doesn’t make sense. It can’t be what it sounds like.
He reaches for Usnavi’s shoulders and grabs him hard enough for Usnavi to look up and smiles, reassuringly.
“Slow down, Usnavi. Start from the beginning, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Usnavi takes a sharp breath. He’s actually trembling.
Benny needs to comfort him, tell him it’ll be okay.
“Okay, what’s this video you’re talking about?”
Usnavi swallows.
“Yours.”
Benny frowns.
“Mine?”
He nods.
“Yours.”
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific. I don’t know about any videos?”
Usnavi swallows again. He’s silent for a moment before he speaks.
“It was one that was uploaded to a porn website.”
Shit.
Benny feels his throat tighten, his heart rate increase. A white hot panic flushes over him. Why was Usnavi on that part of the internet? The chances he’d end up on that video seemed almost nonexistent, which is why Benny uploaded it. It’s not like he’d be on the front page, and why would Usnavi click on a video with someone who looks like Benny? He's not his type. This isn’t meant to happen, fuck, Usnavi wasn’t meant to find it and definitely wasn’t meant to watch it. Benny's heart rate increases and he feels his hands begin to tremble.
“Usnavi-”
He fucking called his name in the video. Usnavi’s seen it, Usnavi knows, god, why did he do that? He called Usnavi’s name when he came in and there’s no going back from that.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to watch it, Benny, I didn’t know it was you, and I should have turned it off but I did and I need to talk to you about it, I can’t stop thinking about it, god you looked so beautiful I-”
Beautiful? What was he talking about?
“I am so sorry,” Benny cuts him off, “I didn’t think you would see it oh my god, I should never have made it.”
“Benny, I’m not mad at you. I can understand if you’re upset with me, though-”
“Don’t fuck with me, Usnavi. I’m so sorry, I know it was wrong and I really, really shouldn’t have made it. Beautiful, though? Don’t try and flatter me, or joke when I’ve done something like this, I know it’s sick, it’s a complete breach of boundaries and-”
He’s shaking his head, doesn’t know what to say next. He’s fucked up, he’s made a huge mistake and he’s about to lose his best friend. Usnavi has seen it and his mind is spinning now, panic set in.
He can’t look at Usnavi, can’t make himself say anything more, but he can feel Usnavi’s gaze on him and when he looks up Usnavi is staring at him.
He looks so upset.
“I’m not messing with you, Benny.” He says, softly.
None of this makes sense. Why wasn’t Usnavi shouting at him? Why wasn’t he disgusted?
“You said my name.”
Fuck.
Why did he have to focus on that part? Probably cause it’s the part that made it weird. But still .
Benny shakes his head, can’t look back at Usnavi, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I just-”
“Benny,” Usnavi says, almost pleading, “At the end, why did you say my name? Don’t even try and say you didn’t because I need to know, I need to know what this means.”
He takes in a sharp breath and lets it out.
“Benny, you’re my best friend. Don’t ignore me.”
He never meant to tell him, never meant for him to find out and now it’s too fucking late. They’re this far and he can’t go back now, can’t ignore Usnavi, can’t take back what he’s said, what Usnavi’s seen.
He grabs his beer from the counter. Cracks it open and holds out a finger in pause as he drinks it all in one. He places the empty bottle on the counter, rubs his eyes, and looks back at Usnavi.
“I, um,” He takes a breath, “I love you Usnavi.”
Silence.
“I’m in love with you and when I uploaded that video I did it to get a little sexual validation from some freaks on the internet, which seemed like a good idea at the time, because I couldn’t tell you, hell, I don’t want to be telling you now, but we’re this far, aren’t we?”
Benny’s face is reddening and his stomach is doing flips, he never thought this would happen, why is this happening?
Usnavi is just staring at him, eyes wide.
“Why did you come here, Usnavi? I’m sorry you saw that, I never wanted you to see it, but I didn’t really expect you to be scrolling through solo males on pornhub, man! I’m so sorry, but I can’t talk about this, I can’t lose you, man,” Benny is standing in front of Usnavi now, towering over him, and he doesn’t mean to but he can’t soften his voice from the shout it’s reached, “I can’t lose you, Usnavi, can we just pretend that it never happened?”
Usnavi blinks. Opens his mouth. Closes it. A smile creeps onto his face and he speaks again.
“I clicked on it because the man in the video looked like you.”
Benny frowns. Usnavi’s looking up at him and now he looks fierce.
A beat.
“What?”
“I didn’t think it would actually be you,” he’s rambling again, “I just thought you had the same sort of body type and skin tone and then there was your tattoo , and that’s when I realised it was actually you, and I should have stopped there, Benny, I know I should have but I just didn’t. God you looked so hot like that.”
He pauses for breath. Benny’s head is swimming, nothing makes sense. What’s Usnavi saying, why hasn’t he left yet? He hasn’t hit him, though, so that’s good, right? It doesn’t make sense, it’s as if cotton wool is blocking the firing of synapses, he’s cloudy and confused and Usnavi is looking up at him.
“You love me, Benny?”
Benny nods. This is the end of it, the end of the conversation, the end of their friendship, but he’s in a corner now and he can’t lie to Usnavi. He’s crossed a line that he can never step back from.
Fuck it.
“Yes, I do.”
Benny’s about to turn around, to crack open another beer and ask Usnavi to leave, to pretend none of this ever happened and ask if they could work through it at a later point, if Usnavi didn’t mind, but then Usnavi has him by the collar and pulls him down.
He nearly flinches at the contact, but then Usnavi’s lips are on his and it’s gentle and timid and unbelievable.
“Benny, I love you,” he says, and kisses Benny again.
He can’t quite believe it, but he’s not going to question it.
“I have been in love with you for so long and I just never thought you’d actually like me back so I never said anything, and then I saw that video-”
He kisses him again and again, gentle and sweet and a thrill rushes through them. Then Usnavi pulls away.
“I have a confession to make,” he says, sheepishly, “Watching that video and realising it was you, I came harder than I have in, like, ever. It was so good.”
Benny stares at him, jaw agape.
"You got off to a video of me masturbating?"
Usnavi nods, grinning.
"Shit, Usanvi."
Benny takes a moment for that to sink in and then something primal flashes through him, and he growls and then they’re kissing not-so-nicely, and it’s hot and deep and Benny feels Usnavi sweep his tongue across his teeth.
It’s a clash of teeth and hot breath and soon they’re walking together, Usnavi tripping as he tries to go backwards but Benny pulls him up and soon Usnavi’s pressed up against the wall. His legs are jelly as Benny unbuttons the top of his shirt and starts to kiss his neck, sucking deeply and then licking the bruises that blossom on his collarbone, all while Usnavi moans hotly.
“How far do you want to go?” Benny asks, his voice throaty and deep as they break for breath.
Usnavi laughs, “Well I wouldn’t mind seeing your stretch limousine in person.”
“My what?” Benny frowns, and Usnavi waves a hand in dismissal.
“The ladies at the salon, you know how they like to gossip,” he snorts.
Then he slides his hand to cup the bulge in Benny’s trousers and Benny instinctively thrusts against Usanvi’s hand.
“And judging by what I can feel, and by that video, they’re definitely not wrong.”
Benny feels his face redden, both in embarrassment and arousal.
“Fuck, Usnavi,” he growls, and then Usanvi is rubbing him again through his pants and they’re kissing frantically.
“Bedroom?” Usnavi asks.
Benny nods. “Bedroom.”
They get to the bedroom, a tangle of limbs and heat and then they break when they’re about to undress. It’s frantic, Benny unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and shrugging it off, dropping his trousers and kicking them aside. Usnavi pulled his shirt over his head, fumbled for a moment with his undershirt, and tripped out of his shoes and socks and pants.
Then they’re just in their underwear and they stare, taking each other in.
They can’t believe their luck.
Benny leans towards Usnavi, now, bringing their lips together, and the chaste kiss turns passionate again and a moment later Benny’s pulling Usnavi onto the bed.
“I-” He gasps out between kisses, “I’ve never done this before- I mean, with a man.”
Usnavi shrugs. “I have, but not for a while.”
“What do you want-? How do you want to do this?”
Usnavi pulls away for a moment, contemplating. Then he smiles shyly.
“Will you touch yourself for me? I want to see it in person.”
“Hmm?” Benny asks.
“Like in the video,” Usnavi smiles. “I wanna see how you like to make yourself feel good. Put on a show for me, babe.”
Benny grins because this is happening, Usnavi wants him, Usnavi just called him babe .
“You really thought it was that hot, did you?”
Usnavi grins back. “Yeah, yeah I did.”
They’re both laying on their sides, facing each other. Benny snorts and then lifts his hips to push his boxers down and free his erection. Usnavi isn’t even subtle as he licks his lips, eyes half lidded and pupils blown, staring at him. He pushes his boxers down, too and starts stroking himself lazily.
Benny takes himself in his hand and pumps slowly. He’s not fully hard but he will be soon with the way Usnavi is looking at him, pure lust in his eyes.
He moans a little as he strokes himself, working into a rhythm, and closes his eyes. He rubs his thumb over the slit and makes sure to flick his wrist a little on the upstroke and it’s nice, it’s so nice, and opening his eyes is even nicer. Seeing Usnavi staring at him with his lips slightly parted, moaning softly as he touches himself. It’s the best thing in the world.
He would have done this sooner, if only he’d known.
Soon he quickens the pace and starts thrusting into his fist, his cock slickened with precome.
“I’m so glad this is happening, that I can see you like this, Benny, you look so good,” Usnavi whispers, and Benny groans.
“God, Usnavi, I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
“Kiss me.”
They lean forward. Usnavi cups his face with the hand not on his cock and they kiss slowly, almost chaste, each kiss drawn out languidly. Then Usnavi pulls himself towards Benny and Benny can feel Usnavi’s cock pressing against his thigh and lust takes over. Benny growls into Usnavi’s mouth, dipping his tongue in and running it along his teeth. Usnavi matches his enthusiasm and now they’re making out furiously, each thrusting into their own fists, moaning and gasping and sputtering for breath and then diving right back in and after a moment they’ve changed position and Usnavi is sat up, straddling Benny’s thighs.
“Yeah, stroke yourself faster, babe,” Usnavi urges, “God, you’re so beautiful, you’re so big, your cock looks so nice.”
Benny keeps fucking into his hand.
“You think so, huh? You like what you see?”
Usnavi groans.
“Benny, you look so good. God I’ve thought about this for so long, it’s finally happening, we’re finally doing this.”
Benny moans as Usnavi dips down and starts placing kisses on his inner thighs, and then licks one of his balls. Benny lets go of his cock for a moment and Usnavi takes the opportunity to swallow it to the base, pulling back slowly and making eye contact with Benny as he comes back up. He dips down again, flicks his tongue around the head, makes an unbelievable moaning sound and pulls off.
“God, you taste so good!” he whines, and he goes down again, pressing Benny’s cock into his cheek so he can rub his head through the side of his mouth.
Benny can feel his climax building. He stares up at Usnavi, stares at his naked body, the beads of sweat at his temples and across his chest, the way his mouth looks, stretched around his cock and he can feel his balls tighten.
“Fuck, Usanvi, pull off, I’m gonna come-”
Usnavi pulls off him with a popping sound, moaning loudly. “Yeah, Benny, come for me, I wanna see it, I want it, I want you-”
Benny comes in a spurt, shooting across his chest, ecstasy taking him over. He pumps himself through climax, milking every last drop.
“You gonna come for me, now, babe?” Benny asks, and Usnavi throws his head back, whimpering.
“Fuck, Benny-” Usnavi cries out, “I’m gonna-!”
He comes, too, all across Benny’s stomach. He closes his eyes as he comes and lets out the sweetest gasp.
Then he leans over and licks a stripe from Benny’s pubes to his collarbone, lapping up their come.
It was the hottest thing Benny had ever seen, his head spins as he watches him. Usnavi, there, in his bed. Beautiful.
“Come kiss me, babe,” Benny whispers, and Usnavi does. He revels in it, in tasting them both on Usnavi’s tongue, in being able to do this, to kiss Usnavi at all. Their bodies are pressed together, come on their chests sticky between them and they’re totally blissed out. They kiss for hours, deep and slow and sweet as molasses.
It's so long overdue.
That night, they fall asleep in each other's arms.