Work Text:
Ivan, some say that he's a walking puppet without soul inside, that's true, Ivan spend all of his time become the perfect puppet for the one who adopted him, he obeyed them, never disappoint them, but he also never get to know how it feels to be a human. They think that it will be better if he doesn't know about human feeling, so he can be the perfect puppet just like how they want him to be.
He feel empty inside, not knowing hot to act like a human, not knowing how to feel something, it's all dull, he have no purpose, he's only reason to still alive is them, the one who adopted him and give him place to stay, but also a string attached to him. Those kids always jealous of him, jealous because he has a "perfect" life.
But it never bother him, they doess not matter to him, they're no one to him. Maybe, until he meet someone, his empty black eyes staring at the blue haired boy that's caught his attention, he's drawn into him, he wants to understand him. Since that day he always try to get the blue haired boy attention, or his name is Till.
Everytime Ivan is with Till, staring at him while he's drawing, all Ivan can think is how will Till react when he say something, when he do something. The light that was never there in his eyes, shine right when he's with Till, what is this feeling? No one has ever teach him about this, is this normal?
"Why are you keep staring at me with those scary eyes?" Ivan woke up and immediately looked at Till's face "you think my eyes are scary?" Ivan asked while pointing his fingers to his eyes "yes, it feels like I'm staring at this" Till lifted a smal paint container filled with black paint "oh?" Ivan chuckled that makes Till frowned.
"Why are you laughing?" Till put down the small container "because it's funny, so can you draw me with that black paint?" Ivan asked with a big smile on his face it makes Till confused "sure" Ivan don't know why but it makes his heart beating faster.
As years passeed his feeling towards Till grow, but he doesn't know is it love? Or just an admiration... Or even hate? Because he feel anger raising in his heart everytime he see Till talking to others, but he know that he can't do anything to stop Till, so all he can do is just keep his feeling, push kt down until he forgot about it.
"Is that me?" Till flinched when he heard Ivan that's suddenly appear behind him, he hurrying close his sketch book and turn his head towards Ivan "Ivan what the hell? Don't scare me like that!" Till yelled at Ivan but all he got is only a laugh coming from Ivan.
"Sorry, you're just too easy to scare" Ivan move to sit next to Till "so you didn't answer my question, is that me?" Ivan can see the way Till face grow red "no??" Ivan smiled, but a second later he pushed Till to the floor and pinned him down "IVAN!" Till obviously surprised when Ivan pushed him down like that.
"Now let me see~" Ivan sit on Till lap but not put all his weight down, he doesn't want Till to suffocate, he grab the sketchbook and open it "Ivan! Don't open it!" Ivan glance at Till, he smiled, Till face look so adorable "how about no-" Till push Ivan off of him and try to get the sketchbook from Ivan hand but Ivan hurrying standing up and raise his hand on the air.
"Are you kidding me?" Till know it will be useless for him to try to get the sketchbook so he grabbed Ivan by the collar but he gets too overboard, instead only making Ivan leans closer, he make both of them fall again to the floor, Ivan unconsciously use his hand under Till head so Till won't get hurt.
"Ah-..." Now their face is really close to each other, both of their eyes locked, staring at each other, there's no words, only their breathing can be heard,the next second, Ivan leans down and kiss Till, he waited for Till to push him, instead getting pushed, Till close his eyes and pulled Ivan closer.
Ivan eyes widened and he deepened the kiss, the kiss is soft, innocent, because none of them ever kiss someone before, so... This is their first kiss, Ivan feel his heart beating so fast, it feels like he's chest about to explode, Till himself feel the same, he wrapped his arms around Ivan neck and pulled him closer.
After a while the kiss broke and their both breathing heavily "Till...?" Till face is red, he look away from Ivan, he's embarrassed, while Ivan smiled when he see that, he hugged Till "hey! Your heavy you know that?? Get off!!" Ivan Ivan rubbed his face on Till's neck "Till..." Till smell so good, and he loves this warm hug.
"Ivan! Get off!! I can't breath!" Instead of letting go, Ivan rolled them so Till laying on top of him "Ivan!" Ivan laughed when he see Till reaction "Till... Please stay with me" Ivan pushed Till head to lay on his chest, Till lay there with embarrassment.
"Shut up... Of course... I'll stay with you, it's not like you have other friends" Till said and Ivan chuckled when he heard that "of course" the warmth is something he never know he needed, he keep hugging Till in his arms, hoping it will last forever.
Today the sun shine beautifully, the gentle breeze hit Till face, making his blue hair fly in the wind, with a flower bouquet on his hand, he move his legs to somewhere, a place where Ivan rest. Till get down to sit Infront of the grave of someone he love, not loved, because the love for Ivan still there.
"You said that you want me to stay with you, just like how you asked me to... But why did you leave me?" He placed the flower down, he bite down his lips trying to hold back from crying, but he can't, tears already making his face wet "you didn't have to sacrifice yourself for me.... Ivan" his chest hurt, it squeeze him until he can't breath, just like that time when he see Ivan pushed him off from the street right before a car crashed into him.
"I love you... Ivan... Let's meet again in another life, and this time let me teach you how to live with love."