Chapter Text
"Can I stay here for a few nights?"
Regina had never seen Emma look so despondant. So bedraggled, so... helpless. There was never any other reply to the question than the answer she gave.
"Of course."
Regina didn't ask why, knowing that Emma would afford her the same kindness if she was in Emma's situation. She simply led her in, up the stairs and to one of the guest bedrooms. One look at her betrayed her lack of sleep.
"Lay down, Emma. You're exhausted." Regina sighed, fighting the urge to reach out and gently take her hand. Her mind was in conflict; part of her knew that Emma was stronger than this. The rest of her knew that Emma was tired of being strong, tired of fighting. And she had no reason to fight any more; everything she'd fought for as her whole reign as the dark one had proven a waste of time.
Only two days after Killian Jones had both succumbed to and sacrificed himself to the darkness. How Regina hated him, for giving into it as soon as he discovered it was within him. While Emma valiantly battled on for her family, Killian dissolved under it's grasp. And he'd made the right choice, in the end. He'd made good out of the darkness, and finally ended the dark one's existence. Or so he thought. Because as it turned out, Gold weilded the power once more, and Killian had died for nothing.
Emma collapsed onto the bed, after having kicked her shoes off. Regina pulled the blanket over her and perched on the edge of the satin sheets, stroking Emma's hair fondly. Emma didn't react; didn't even blink.
"Do you want to talk, Emma?" Regina questioned her, softly. Emma stared blankly on for a couple of seconds, before responding with a flat, emotionless "No".
Regina nodded and withdrew her hand.
"I need to pick Henry up from school. Sleep, I'll be back." She told Emma, who was quickly nodding off. She offered no resistance to the wings of sleep that carried her away, and she was asleep before Regina left the room.
---
"Emma." Regina repeated, a little louder. Emma's eyes fluttered open, confused.
"I'm sorry, dear. I wanted to leave you to sleep, but your mother told me you haven't been eating either. Come on." She instructed, gesturing to the bowl of soup on the bedside cabinet. Emma struggled to sit up.
"I came here to get her out of my hair." She grumbled, without any real anger.
"She cares about you, Emma. If you wanted to escape people who care about you, this was the wrong place to come." Regina smiled, softly. Emma tried to return the smile, but couldn't.
"I didn't want them to see me like this. I was worried that I was making them angry... or... I don't know." Emma started, before tailing off.
"Why would they be angry, dear?" Regina asked her, sitting on the bed, facing her.
"Because I'm being weak. People lose others all the time. They don't act like this." Emma replied, bluntly. She tucked her tangled hair behind her ears.
"Emma, you lost someone you love. When I lost Daniel, I cried for days. Then I killed hundreds of people in the reign of a few years." Regina assured her, reaching for her hand and grasping it gently.
"I don't love him." Emma sighed. Regina frowned, waiting for Emma to clarify.
"I realise now. I don't love him. I never did. I just thought... I didn't want him to die. He deserved a chance to redeem himself. He never had the chance to be happy," Emma explained, slowly.
"And he liked me so... I thought I could love him. I thought I could help him, but he gave the chance away for more revenge the second it came to light. And he died for it. And people say he died loved, but he didn't, Regina." Emma raged, passionately, before collapsing into tears. Regina shifted forwards and took Emma into her arms.
"Emma, dear, he died and that's it. He's gone, and all he knows is all that he knew when he died. After what he did to you, Emma, he deserves nothing. You deserve so much more than him, so much better. I've always said that. You deserve the world." Regina argued softly, simply holding Emma. Eventually, Emma sat back up.
"This soup is getting cold, Emma. You should eat some. It's tomato." Regina smiled. Emma took the bowl from her with clear reluctance.
"Can you manage?" Regina asked as Emma reached for the spoon.
"Of course. I'm upset, not a baby." Emma argued without any edge to her tone. But as she tried to spoon the soup, her hands just shook so violently that is splashed off. After a few moments of endless attempts, she looked up at Regina with that helpless expression, and wide pleading eyes.
"Come here, let me help." Regina offered, she took the bowl and spoon, and scooped some of the hearty red liquid for her. Emma took the spoon in her mouth, allowing Regina to feed her. Regina laughed to herself, because never in a million years did she expect to be sat spoon feeding Emma Swan, and actually enjoying the intimacy. Emma caught on to the laughter, spluttering a little and accidentally dribbling a bit of soup down her chin. With impeccable tenderness, Regina used the edge of the spoon to remove the drip. When their eyes met, time seemed to slow almost to a halt. For a moment, there was nothing but them; nothing but a realisation attempting to reveal itself. But the moment passed, and the realisation remained dwelling beneath the surface. Emma refused to eat any more than half the bowl.
"I can't, Regina. I'll be sick." She argued, and Regina nodded in acceptance.
"You should lay down, darling, and sleep." Regina advised, standing and heading towards the door.
"Can you stay here?" Emma asked. Regina was immidiately baffled.
"Emma, dear, I live here." Regina replied.
"No, I mean in here. With me. Sleep with me?" Emma asked. Regina knew immidiately just on what level Emma must be craving comfort, to want it from her.
"Of course. Let me sort the kitchen out and get our son to bed." Regina replied, still a little shocked at the suggestion. Not that it repulsed her, which in itself should be repulsing, surely? She shouldn't want Emma to want her, but she did. She shook the thoughts away. She couldn't dwell; it was just this, just now. Just Emma. Someone she'd grown to know better than she knew herself. And she knew, as surely as Killian was dead, that Emma wouldn't need her for long.
---
"Mom?" Henry asked, as soon as he saw Regina coming down the stairs.
"She's getting better. She won't need to stay for all too long, I don't imagine." Regina replied. She was bewildered when she saw a flicker of understanding in Henry's eyes, and a smile of knowing crossing his face.
"I was talking to you, not asking about other mom." He clarified. The smile hadn't left.
"Oh, I-"
"You care about her." He interrupted, before Regina had much of a chance to talk. The statement threw Regina off for a moment.
"Well- ... of course I do. I mean, she's your mom too, and-"
"Mom, there's no point. I know you. You care about her. A lot. You're hoping that she's not going to leave." He insisted, smiling wider.
"Henry, I... It's not like that. She's hurting, and it's complicated. She needs someone." Regina retorted, trying not to give herself away.
"What, and out of everyone in this town, you think she chose you above everyone else simply because you're the most convenient?" Henry asked, with a level of sass that was typical of Regina. It must be rubbing off, she thought.
"Is this about me, Henry, or about her?" Regina asked impatiently, struggling to see who he was accusing of having feelings for the other.
"Both of you! Don't you see?!" He exclaimed. Suddenly something clicked in Regina's mind.
"Henry..." she started, before taking a deep breath. "What does the book say?"
Henry smiled sweetly. "Night Mom!" He sing-songed, heading towards the door.
"Henry Daniel Mills, I swear to Oz!" Regina called as their son clattered up the stairs, into his room. She heard the lock click, and she knew for a fact that Henry wouldn't let her see that book. Defeated, she locked up the front and back doors, and had begun to load the dishwasher when she heard shuffling near the door. She turned around and spotted Emma in the doorway, watching her intently.
"Is everything Ok?" She asked, the concern in her voice apparent.
"Oh, fine. It's just our son is being a pain." Regina smiled, humerously. Emma smiled weakly in reply.
"What'd he do now?" She asked, leaning against the door frame.
"Oh, he says he knows something about us. From the book." Regina sniffed. Emma frowned.
"Us? Me and you?" She asked, mostly baffled, but with a hint of... was it hope?
"Yes. But it's nothing to worry about, it must have already happened, and nothing has happened between us." Regina said, briskly. She noticed a little spark leave Emma's eyes.
"Right." She nodded, resolute.
"Emma, are you Ok?" Regina asked, noticing her body language subtly change.
"Oh, fine. Just... tired." She yawned. Regina smiled kindly, placing the last pan in the dishwasher and turning it on.
"Come on then, you. Let's get to bed."
---
When they got upstairs, Regina found Emma a pair of her pyjamas. They were a similar enough size. Emma marvelled at the silkiness of them.
"Wow, these are amazing. No wonder you always look like a queen!" Emma grinned, smoothing her hands down them.
"You really are tired, Emma. I'm just going to change, I will return shortly." Rsgina promised. She came back to find Emma already in bed. She slipped in beside her, leaving a respectful distance between them.
"Night, Emma." She hummed, Emma on the left side of the bed, facing her.
"Night, Regina." Emma smiled back. Regina rolled over to avoid the awkwardness of staring at each other, and after only a few moments she felt Emma shift to her other side too. Silence fell, and only the soft hum of engines coukd be heard from the road. After a few moments, Emma broke the silence.
"'Gina?" She whispered. Regina felt her heart flutter at the term of endearment, and cursed it.
"Yes, dear?" Regina replied, softly.
"Will you hold me?" She asked. It startled Regina; she sat up quickly to see Emma looking at her with worry.
"I'm sorry, I-" Emma began, worried that she'd pushed Regina's boundaries.
"No, no, I- ... come here." Regina started to reassure her, but she lost her words. She nestled back into the covers, and pulled Emma closer into her so that Emma's back was fitted snugly against her front. Never had either woman felt as safe and as loved as they did then. Regina wrapped her arm around Emma's midriff, resisting the urge to splay her hand across her stomach. She rested her forehead against Emma's back, and Emma gently rested one leg atop Regina's. They fell asleep quicker than they wanted to, with less time to savour the contact than they woukd have liked.
---
At some point, Regina wrestled the blankets out of Emma's hoarding arms. She was half asleep when she muttered 'It's lucky I love you, you idiot', and neither of them would remember it. But it had been said. She nestled back into Emma, in any position that rendered them touching, holding.