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Ryan didn't know why he did it, and he wasn't lying when he said that, he was telling the honest truth. Of course no one believed him. 'Normal boys don't just set things on fire for fun,' they would say. 'Normal boys would feel bad if they did that.'
They didn't say much to him anymore, not since he got shipped away. He's talked to them maybe three times since then, and one of them was his birthday. His friends didn't talk to him either, but that didn't surprise him. He knew all along he didn't have a tight hold on any of his friends, and apparently going crazy was the last straw for all of them.
The only person Ryan had now was himself, and he wasn't even reliable, not even to himself. He also had the doctors and nurses, but they treated him like a kid, and he definitely wasn't a kid. On the birthday his parents had called he had turned sixteen. For most boys that's an important milestone in life, they can get a job, and a license, oh boy. Ryan legally wasn't allowed to have a job. They're afraid he'd burn the place down. So Ryan didn't have much going for him. He didn't really have any goals, except for the big one to make it out one day. For now, he took his pills without complaint, even though they sometimes made him horribly depressed, and ate all of his meals like a good little psycho.
Today, he was sitting at breakfast one morning, like any other, when William had a fit. William was actually one of Ryan's favorite fellow patient, he actually had a sense of humor, so they would often hang out together during free time. He was severely bipolar, though, and whenever he got bad, he got so bad that he had to be separated from everyone else. Unluckily for Ryan, he was left alone whenever that happened, no longer even any other crazy person to keep him company. He spent breakfast alone, possibly a little sadder than he would normally be.
William didn't get better by lunchtime, and Ryan figured this time would take a couple days before he would come back. Great, now the nurses would try to play Scrabble with him during free time, or something like that which he definitely didn't want. They had done that when he first got there, and he quickly learned that the nurses were trained to spend time with anyone who was spending free time alone. This is how he and William became friends, they were both trying to escape the watchful eyes of the nurses during free time.
When free time finally rolled around, Ryan did his to seem like he was busy, picking a book from random out of his collection and quickly immersing himself in it, hoping the nurses would leave him alone. He had no such luck.
"Hi," a young boy with big lips twisted in a smile and dark hair said. He wasn't a nurse, Ryan made it his business to know all the nurses, but he definitely wasn't a patient. He was one of the volunteers that came and went. Ryan hadn't seen him around before so he must be fairly new.
He looked far too happy to be there, Ryan thought. Also far too young. He had to be around Ryan's age, maybe a little bit older. He also didn't seem to mind when Ryan just stared at him, he just went on like normal.
"I'm Brendon. What book are you reading, it looks good," the boy asked, still smiling brightly. Ryan just continued to stare at him, and eventually he moves on.
"Okay, cool, you don't have to tell me. Well, did you like lunch? Come on, man, tell me the truth. The food here id actually pretty good. It's a lot better than my school's food is. That stuff is so gross that my dog wouldn't even eat it. So it's actually nice to eat lunch here. I'm here for school, anyways. It's my big community service project. I'm not sure if I was supposed to tell you that, oh no, please don't think about that part, pretend I never said anything."
Ryan laughed then, because the boy just amused him. He talked so much, and he just went on and on. Ryan didn't think it was because he was nervous, either, that was just probably how he was.
"Are you laughing at my misfortune? Man, that's a hard break."
Ryan laughed again, and said, "Do you always talk so much? Do you're friends and family get annoyed?"
The boy blushed brightly and Ryan noticed how cute the boy was. He was just adorable, and his dark hair against his light skin only helped accentuate that. His eyes and lips were big and only added to the beauty. "Yeah, kind of. I'm sorry, I don't even realize I'm doing it in the first place. I'll stop talking now, okay? I can leave you alone if you want."
Even though that was what Ryan had wanted at first, Ryan shook his head, "Do you realize where you are? These are all crazy people. You're the best company I've had since I've gotten since I've been here, even if you talk a lot. My 'best friend' is severely bipolar and is isolation right now. So your company is actually kind of okay."
Ryan was surprised he had said as much as he had, he wasn't really the type of person to reveal their every thought. Apparently after being surrounded by the people he was for so long, and change was fresh and welcomed.
"Oh, that's cool. I'm sorry about your friend, you must miss him," Brendon said, playing with the pencils he had found on the table.
"Not really," Ryan said, then went back to reading his book.
Brendon was enthralled by the dark, quiet boy. He wasn't sure why, he was just someone that Brendon wanted to be friends with. And sadly for the boy, when Brendon set his mind to something, there were few things that could change it.
Brendon sat with the boy everyday during free time, even lunch sometimes, when he was able to. The boy never said very much, but that was usually okay, because Brendon could talk a lot, so just a few words from the boy everyday were more than enough for Brendon. There was the problem that Brendon didn't know the boy's name. or really anything else about him. He knew the boy liked to read, but only because he had a different book everyday. He also knew he didn't like Scrabble, which was actually a good thing, because
Brendon was sure the boy would beat him, with all that he read.
One day Brendon sat down at the table and placed a box in between the two of them on the table. The boy looked up to see what it was, and when he saw it was Candy Land, he raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"What?" Brendon asked innocently. "It's a classic."
"You stole that from the children's center," the boy pointed out.
"And I'll totally give it back, after we play a nice game. Here, let's make this more fun, if you win, I'll leave you alone for the next week! If you win, though, you're going to tell me your name. Deal?" the boy nodded, and Brendon wiggled excitedly in his chair as he set up the game. He might have an unfair advantage on the boy, because Candy Land was his favorite game, and he was well practiced, but he didn't really care, because he really wanted to know the boys name.
And at the end, Brendon did win. He found out the boys name was Ryan, and he spent the rest of free time singing a song about the beauty of Ryan.
Ryan had just shook his head and said, "And I'm the one in the loony bin."
Brendon barely acknowledged the comment, saying, " At least I know your name now!" and continued with his song.
What Brendon didn't know was that Ryan had tried really hard to loose, playing as bad as he could on a children's game. He had wanted to Brendon to know his name.
Slowly, they became friends. Friendship was difficult from two people who came from such different situations, but Brendon always worked hard enough to let it work. And Ryan did his part to actually let Brendon in.
When William got out of isolation, Ryan had thought Brendon might leave him then. it was one thing to hang out with one crazy person, but two, that might be pushing it. Brendon stayed around, though, even with William there too. He became friends with him, too, but he was never as close to William as he was Ryan.
Some days, instead of hanging out in the common area, Ryan and Brendon would go back too Ryan's room and hang out. It wasn't exactly allowed, but the nurses looked over it, because in all the time that Ryan had been there, they had never seen the kids eyes shine like they did when Brendon was around. Some of the more optimistic nurses even went as far to say that Brendon would save Ryan.
On one of those days when Brendon was in Ryan's room, Ryan actually told Brendon some of his story.
"I'm not sure what happened. One minute I was at home, and then the next I was runnin away to an abandoned house. I set it on fire. I just wanted it to burn, to burn all the way down. I didn't succeed, because really, starting a fire like that isn't as easy as you might think. By the time the fire was going, I didn't even want it anymore. I don't know what happened. maybe I really am crazy," Ryan said, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them. He was so sad, why had he messed everything up so badly? If he didn't have to be a psychopath, then right now he could be normal. He could be just a regular kid. how had things gone so wrong so fast?
"I'm just a waste, why do I even try anymore?" Ryan said softly, not looking up at Brendon. Brendon left his seat and sat beside Ryan on his bed and threw his arm around his shoulders. He pulled Ryan to him tight and ran a hand through Ryan's hair while he cried, comforting him.
When Ryan finally stopped crying, he looked up at Brendon, embarrassed. Brendon looked at him and said, "It'll be alright, I'll make sure it is."
Ryan was filled with such a feeling of gratitude, of hope, of everything Brendon ever made him feel, that he reached up to Brendon's face and pulled him closer. He didn't go to fast, making his intentions perfectly clear, giving Brendon the chance to pull away, to say no, to do anything, and Brendon did nothing. He allowed Ryan to pull his head all the way in until their lips brushed.
It was a soft, sweet kissed, and Ryan pulled away quickly. The two boys stared at each other then, both confused, but both happy. It was the happiest Ryan had been in a long time.
"You'll be okay, Ryan," Brendon said. "I'll make sure of it."
Brendon pulled him in for another kiss, and they exchanged kisses for the rest of free time, until Brendon had to leave, giving Ryan one final goodbye kiss.
Ryan thought that it might take him a little while to be okay, but he knew he was heading there. Brendon was his rope to safety, and Ryan was slowly pulling his way in.