Work Text:
Blake was weird. One night she would give you a kiss, and the next three she would hardly have a thing to say to you.
They were probably dating now, right? Yang was sure they were a thing of some sort, but none of the usual elements of romance were present. Yang supposed she could do with or without the barfy sweet talk, even though she was so good at it, but it seemed like they were also skipping the cuddles and kisses. That was something that she was much less willing to miss out on.
Since the kiss that night, she hadn’t seen another one coming her way, and she was giving it her all to get one. Every attempt to get mushy had been totally one sided. Compliments were met with half-assed thanks, snuggles were like cuddling a brick wall, and jokes were more often than not met with eye rolls. Yang knew how to start a tender moment, but Blake was dependably unresponsive. This was a new problem for Yang, and she did not like it one bit.
There were a few angles to consider here. Was she misreading things? Was it just a friendly kiss? Did people do that? Somehow, Yang doubted that was it. It definitely felt like a “Hey, we should probably date!” kinda kiss. If that was the case, was Blake just messing with her? She certainly didn’t seem the type. Blake was one of the good ones. This couldn’t be coming from a nefarious place. Could it be that Blake was embarrassed of her? That thought stung, even though it was pretty much baseless. If Blake was trying to be secretive, it was probably just because that was her nature. She kept her business to herself and liked it to stay that way. Nothing wrong with that. But then again, maybe there was considering how crummy things felt.
Reasoning it out herself was doing no more than aggravating her. She needed to get to the heart of this directly. The simplest course of action would be to go straight to the source and ask Blake what was on her mind.
Yang was not one to shy from hard talks, but this felt different. Blake wasn’t just anyone to her. It wasn’t like other romances where she could just roll the dice and let the pieces fall where they may. She felt something for Blake that was different than before. Like she was someone that Yang needed to be part of her future. If she somehow screwed this up, before it really even got started for that matter, she had a lot to lose.
It was weird to realize how deep her feelings went. How long had they been there anyway? Were they made by that kiss, or had they been there all along, only uncovered by it? The more Yang considered all these things, the more confusing the whole thing became, and the more it pissed her off. Love had never felt this complicated before, so why now?
The perfect time to bite the bullet and figure things out had come. It was just the two of them. No teammates to interfere. Yang hadn’t been able to get Blake alone since the night she’d gotten a kiss, and you could be sure she had tried. They had been with each other almost nonstop over the last few days, but never without unwanted company. Even if she wasn’t so aggressive about it now, Ruby was nothing if not determined to keep her team tight knit. However, in a wonderful turn of fate, Weiss and Ruby were gone overnight on some sort of doubles training assignment, leaving Blake and Yang to their own devices.
Yang had been burning up inside since that night and needed more of Blake desperately. Was the feeling mutual? If secrecy was Blake’s aim, she had no excuses now, and if it was something else, Yang would just have to figure it out.
Now that they finally had some time to themselves, Yang was eager to hear what Blake had to say. However, Blake just lay there in her bed, flipping absently through her scroll. It seemed she was completely oblivious to Yang’s presence. Yang had tried once or twice to initiate small talk, but nothing had stuck. Blake wasn’t much interested in the weather or new Spruce Willis movie. It had been nearly a half hour, and they had just sat there quietly, killing time. This was most distressing.
It was worse now than it had ever been. Blake may have been quiet before, but now it was like Yang didn’t even exist at all. Why? What was she doing wrong? Yang decided she couldn’t put up with it anymore. She let out a fatigued sigh as she sat down on the bed beside Blake.
“So, are we not a thing? Or are we?” Yang said with a forced chuckle.
Blake seemed to jolt as if startled. Yang felt a spark of guilty pleasure on finally getting a genuine reaction.
“I’m sorry, what?” She said, turning up to Yang with an expression of confusion.
“I just can’t figure it out.” Yang said, trying to control the distress in her voice. Her words wanted to run out all at once, but she fought them back into an even pace. “Like, you kissed me, and it really seemed like an ‘I wanna date you or something’ kiss. But now, you just seem kinda uninterested. Actually, it’s more like you’re avoiding me. Did I do something wrong? Should I be doing something better?”
“I don’t understand.” Blake said. “What are you talking about?”
Her words carried a hollowness that Blake could not hide. It was the same insincerity that Yang had been dealing with the last few days, and she was just about out of patience for it.
“Do you like me or not?” Yang demanded. “I thought you did but now I’m really confused. It seems like you hate me.”
“Yang, of course I like you? Why would you say that?”
Yang rose to her feet and began pacing, her rapidly beating heart not allowing her to remain still.
“I mean all week I’m trying to get you to notice me and I get jack shit for my effort. And now that we finally have some time to ourselves, you don’t even want to talk to me? What gives?”
“What makes you think I don’t want to talk to you?” Blake said. She sounded almost irritated, which sent a hot wash of anger through Yang.
“Seriously?” Yang said, coming to a sudden stop in front of Blake. “I’ve hardly gotten a word out of you for days, and you must know I’ve been trying.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” Blake scolded. “We spoke several times.”
“Oh, sure we did. I could have gotten more conversation out of a beowulf. I’m not stupid, Blake. I know when I’m being humored. You just wanted me to shut up.”
“That’s not true.”
“Bullshit!”
The volume was escalating rapidly. Yang didn’t care. She was ready to be heard.
“Well I maybe I just didn’t have anything to say!” Blake countered.
“Really? Nothing? You get all smoochy and then you can’t manage to hold a conversation with me for three days? Seems like you don’t mind chatting with anyone else, so I think your problem is with me! It wasn’t like this before, so why the hell are you trying to pretend I don’t exist?”
“I’m not! That’s absurd!”
“Is it? Cause it’s seems like you couldn’t care less if I was around or not!” Yang’s voice fought hard against cracking. “Or maybe you’d like it better if I was gone!”
“No!” Blake cried, her hand shooting out towards Yang. The sudden cry and burst of movement caused Yang to flinch involuntarily backwards. Blake’s hand fell short of Yang’s wrist and instead grasped the hem of her skirt. Blake nearly fell forward from her momentum, Yang catching her by the shoulders reflexively.
Yang was shaken. Blake’s cry didn’t sound angry. It sounded afraid. Blake’s face was obscured as she leaned forward, but Yang’s could feel her breath hitch as she held her shoulders. Yang suddenly forgot about ever being angry herself, feeling instead an awful, gnawing worry. Blake was hurt and it was all her fault.
Yang squatted down and placed a hand gently on Blake’s cheek. She didn’t know what she was doing. She just wanted to be sure Blake was okay. She guided Blake to turn her face back upwards. When she did Yang could see her fighting back tears.
Yang’s jaw worked up and down, but panic was stealing her words away, replacing them with stuttering incoherencies. Blake put her own hand over Yang’s, holding it tight against her face as she closed her eyes, her tears covering Yang’s palm as she pressed into it.
“Please don’t go.” Blake whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“N-no!” Yang blurted out with some effort. “No, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I’m just being stupid.” Yang brought up her free hand, using her thumb to gently wipe the tears from Blake’s unobscured cheek.
“No. You’re right.”
“No! I don’t know anything.”
“Yang, just shut up for a second.”
Yang complied immediately. She went stone still, terrified that anything she might do or say could hurt Blake again. For nearly a minute, the only sound was Blake’s uneven breath. As time passed, it grew slowly more controlled. At last, Blake took in a deep breath, letting it back out slowly. Yang could feel herself tensing involuntarily in terrible anticipation.
“I know you’ve been trying to show me love.” Blake managed at last, her words slow and measured. “I may act like I don’t notice it or don’t care, but that’s not true. I can see it in everything you do. And I rely on it.”
Blake’s hold on Yang’s hand tightened. She froze that way for a moment, catching her breath as it tried to break into uneven waves. “I’ve always seen it.” She continued. She tried to look back up at Yang, but couldn’t hold her gaze long before dropping it back down. “It’s even in your eyes. It warms me. It’s like you’re just waiting for me to let you love me, but I won’t do it.”
Blake slowly released her grip, sliding her hand down to Yang’s forearm. Yang was unable to speak. Blake continued, her voice beginning to shake. “The truth is…. there’s a reason I’m doing this. It’s something I thought was behind me, but I was wrong.” Blake faltered. Each sentence eroded away at her self control, composure giving way to fitful emotion. “It’s part of my past, but it still hurts. I don’t think I can talk about it yet. But regardless of that, what I’ve been doing is wrong and stupid. I was hurting you because I was afraid to admit that this was still a part of me.”
Blake once more tried to look up into Yang’s eyes. For a moment she wavered, but then held firm, keeping their eyes locked. “I like you alot, Yang, and I have for a while. I knew I wanted to be with you, but I didn’t know what to do. That’s why I kissed you. I thought things would work themselves out from there, but instead I just shut down. I’m sorry for that.”
“No!” Yang cried, startling Blake. “Don’t be sorry! I’m sorry! I’m just being a big, needy idiot! You don’t owe me anything!” Yang plopped down on the bed next to Blake, pulling up the blanket and draping it over her shoulders delicately. “Things didn’t go exactly like I expected and I got nervous and self conscious because I’m an childish, insecure wreck! You didn’t do anything wrong, I just decided there had be some big problem because things didn’t go exactly to plan.”
“You were right though.” Blake said with a sniffle. “This is a problem. And I would never have admitted it.”
“Yeah? Well… I’m still stupid and you’re still perfect. Don’t fight me on this.”
This made Blake smile, and Yang felt her heart soar. She must be doing something right finally.
“You’re not stupid, Yang. And I’m definitely not perfect. I do love you, but you’re going to have to be patient with me.”
“I’d wait forever.” Yang said. It was almost a whisper, timid but earnest.
Blake looked up at her, and Yang saw in her eyes something she couldn’t identify. It was lost and dreamy, like the face of someone who knew something to be true, but belief still escaped them. Blake wrapped her arms around Yang, hiding her face in Yang’s shoulder. Yang returned the gesture. She repeated the phrase twice more as Blake’s tears soaked into her shirt. They stayed that way for a long time, unconcerned with the silent rising of the moon or the movements of the world beyond their quiet embrace.
…
As the midnight sky blanketed it’s gentle glow over Beacon, the silence began to falter. The two of them had shifted to a laying position, one beside the other. Yang had nearly drifted off to sleep, when she felt Blake’s hand, which rested on her shoulder, push against her as Blake rose. Yang’s snapped back to alertness instantly, pushing herself up as well. They could only look at eachother. With the emotions of the moment faded, there was nothing to drive their words, and anything that could be said seemed too trite to bother with.
“Feel okay?” Yang managed at last. It felt wrong as soon as it left her mouth, but Blake only nodded and smiled.
“Yes. Much better.”
The heavy quiet fell again. Yang had to fight back against her nervous twitches, interlacing her fingers to hold back their mad tapping.
“Thank you.” Blake continued. “For everything.”
Yang gave a shrug. “I probably do as much bad as good I think.”
“I’m glad that you did something. I would have just kept running from this thing forever. I’m glad you were brave enough to make me acknowledge it.”
“I guess so.” Yang said, her foot rapidly tapping beneath her notice. “I’m glad I can help, even if I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Blake smiled, and Yang felt her nervousness melt away in it’s warmth, the tapping of her foot slowly growing silent.
“Well from now on I promise not to ignore our problems, because they belong to both of us now. So long as you’ll have them.”
“You know it babe.” Yang said. “I’m sure I’ll bring more than my fair share to the table.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Blake said with a smile.
“And you’d better not!” Yang said with playful seriousness. “My maintenance is not simple! I need hugs, kisses, snuggles, and mushy nonsense applied in regular dosages.”
Blake laughed at this. The sound filled Yang with a warm pleasure that bubbled over into a wide grin.
“Oh my god, Yang.” Blake said, cocking an eyebrow. “Are you really this needy?”
“Yes!” Yang exclaimed, flopping onto her back with her arms reaching into the air with a dramatic flair she hoped would amuse Blake. “I need love! I need validation! Mostly I need kisses!”
Blake continued to laugh, much to Yang’s satisfaction.
“Well, it’s quite the undertaking, but I’ll give it my best.” Blake said. ”Just be patient with me in the meantime.”
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Yang said. “Maybe between the two of us we can act like a fully functional adult.”
Blake chuckled and ran the fingers of one hand gently through Yang’s golden hair, which streamed wildly across Blake’s lap. With her other hand, she brushed her own hair behind her ear.
“For now... “ Blake said leaning down, lowering her face towards Yang’s. “Let’s try to make up for lost time.”