Work Text:
But tell me would you miss me if I just disappeared without a trace? Would you scream my name from the rooftops over and over like a mantra in order to find me? Would you miss me at school, my presence when we walk together? [Although we walk in silence and it wouldn’t be much different but for the fact that you’d be alone, not lonely.] Would you ask around for me, arrange a funeral for me [Although it wouldn’t be a real funeral because of your lack of knowledge about my disappearance and thus the lack of my corpse.] And would you ask people to come and they’d just say they don’t know me so you’d have to promise a party afterwards to make everyone attend because of your utter fear of loneliness and for the fact that you wouldn’t want to stand at my grave all by yourself. And would you stop to sleep at night because of horrible dreams that haunt you about a face long forgotten, a face that belonged to me once upon a time but was now twisted and looked more like a strange version of your own face rather then mine. Would you sometimes in the silence of night when lack of sleep overwhelmed you wake up screaming my name, cold sweat running down your spine. And would you wish then, to be where I am to finally see my true form again, not the gut wrenching version your psyche created for lack of a better image. And would you after searching for months on end feel defeated, break down and scream at my non existing form because you can’t keep doing this any longer because it feels like it’s eating you alive. And would you then sit in your empty room, your empty flat, your empty life surrounded by just silence that was way to loud to bare. And would you after months of agony understand what i meant when i said “ I’m lonely, although I’m not alone” because i was there all along but did not give a sign of life but existed by your side just to watch you break in order to make you feel what I’ve felt all along when i was by your side…