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and I feel sad, because I know how hard it is to make friends and keep them. And now imagine you're being set up by someone, with someone. Because being famous is lonely, and she does want intimacy and companionship and fun. And for a while, that person spends as much time with her as possible, and slowly, she starts to trust that they're genuine. That it's not just because there's a contract, or for the publicity or whatever. And then, after a short amount of time, these people leave, and there's Taylor, the butt of the joke, with another ridge in her bedpost that she didn't want. Because she's a girl and she's been with many men and nobody knows what they're doing or not doing. It's tantalising the public in a way that Lindsey Lohan isn't. Scandal sells well, she learns. Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll is the slogan, and she doesn't even drink alcohol anymore out of fear and vigilance.
And it makes her sad the first time, and bitter the second, and after the third time, she starts mocking everyone that hurts her. And she's still sort of sweet, and nice because that's what people want from her, naivete and a guileless smile and she fakes it well. She still tries and opens up, but after every break-up, it just boils up, the need to lash out and hurt the world back for mocking and needling and making her responsible for every damn lie in the papers. So she writes a song, and it's good, it's catchy, if not the height of lyrical prowess. And she could be better, she knows she could, but everyone tells her this is it. So she takes that song and sings it and the world mocks her for that, too.
She takes all these feelings and slams them into songs, so that everyone who listens can feel them with her. But it's never enough to stop the mocking. Because she's Taylor Swift and she doesn't have artistic integrity, she just writes about her ex-boyfriends. These aren't her emotions on display, because her emotions have no worth to the world. Gossip does, though, and rumours feed ONTD and the tabloids and that's what she's there for.
And at night, she cuddles up to a pillow shaped like a dollar sign and plans her retirement. Just wait till my contract runs out, she smiles.