Chapter Text
Gosh, Pomni was cute.
Ragatha really did not want to think this while trying to console the poor girl shuddering in panic beside her, but she couldn't help it. She was very scared....and very cute.
Her bright eyes glanced around the room wide with apprehension---and who could blame her, after everything? Her small hands twitched in her lap and Ragatha's fingers itched to take them into her own, to steady her somehow. The rosettes flushing pink and dewy beneath her eyes gave her an astonishingly sweet, yet timid, appearance (far be it from Ragatha to be jealous, least of all of an avatar skin, though had she known you could look so pretty in this game she might've picked those too). Looking at her now, Ragatha was struck by memories of apple-picking around the farm in October. Autumn apples were always so small and rosy, and they trembled on the branch as if the next gust of wind might carry them away.
It wasn't anything unusual, she told herself. She was just being kind, that's all this was. Pomni was fragile (that much was obvious), and Ragatha simply wanted to help. The fluttering in her chest meant nothing. Pomni simply reminded her of a little bird, that's all.
A little bird that hadn't stopped knocking against the bars of their shared cage since her arrival. Ragatha wanted nothing more than to be there for her; to soothe away her terror, to smooth down her hair and let the young woman know that there was nothing here to be so afraid of. Out of all the things Ragatha remembered from her life before the Circus, soothing frightened, fearful creatures was one that always came easiest to recall. She had calmed every single frightened horse, goat, or chicken brought to her family's farm, speaking to them in the tender language of safety until their quaking limbs stilled and the whites of their eyes had shrunk and they grew accustomed to their new home. None of them ever walked away from her feeling unloved or unsafe.
But Pomni wasn't a horse. Or a goat. She was more delicate than a frightened animal, and gaining her trust required more than a guiding hand on her back or a palmful of sugar cubes. Ragatha's decided that her gentleness needed to be immovable.
Her eyes lingered on Pomni's clenched hands. The urge to protect her, to shield her from everything this place could do, bloomed hotly in her chest. No, there was nothing to be afraid of. She'd make sure of that.
"Ragatha?" Pomni asked, her voice small and wincing. "I don't think I can do this--another adventure, I mean--I don't think I can do it again."
The poor girl was shaking. She'd had a rough go of it her first few days, and while adjusting to the digital realm had been a harrowing experience for each and every one of them, Pomni's first day had been an especially horrific one. Witnessing an abstraction on the first day? Ragatha could hardly think of something more traumatizing. Of course she's scared!
"Hey, that's okay.” Ragatha inched a little closer to her, taking the girl's trembling hands in her soft oversized ones (finally). Pomni's hands were smooth and cool, like a stone. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Really, you don't---Zooble opts out all the time!"
She offered Pomni what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "And when you finally feel confident enough, you can join us. The adventures can be fun, really! I'm sure you'll be taking the lead in no time!"
Pomni gripped Ragatha's hand, digging in her fingernails and crushing through the firm stuffing that filled out the doll's clothlike mitts. Maybe Pomni wasn't yet aware that they could get hurt in this world---no, they couldn't die (as far as Ragatha knew)---but they could get hurt, and having the stuffing nearly squeezed out of her was one of Ragatha's least favorite sensations. Still, she couldn't bring herself to interrupt the girl. It felt...nice. For someone to want her so near.
It had been a long time since she'd felt something like this. She couldn't remember, really, what attraction felt like, physically. But the galloping in her chest, that phantom of a heartbeat, that was the closest she'd come in a long while.
They remained like that for a good minute or so---Pomni clutching Ragatha's hands, her eyes screwed shut as though she could no longer bear to take in the maddening, unnatural chaos of their digital home. Ragatha watched on, a pleasurable warmth rising up alongside the sharp twinges Pomni relished on her hand. How easy, how natural it would be for her to pull the young woman just a little closer, wrap her doll-like limbs around her and kiss away the anxious furrows planted firmly in her brow.
So easy---
"Hey, uh...Ragatha?" Pomni suddenly loosened her grip on Ragatha's hands. She sounded distant. Uncertain.
"I think...I think I want to go back to my...room now." She kept her wide eyes fixed to the floor, as if afraid it could vanish the moment she looked away. Disappointment crept up Ragatha's throat, heavy and hollow.
"Oh! Uh, okay, well then...can I walk you?" The words slipped out before she could even stop them, her voice cracking with urgency. Ragatha grimaced and thumped her palm against her forehead.
Stupid, what is wrong with you? You sound so desperate!
Just then, Pomni's hand crept up Ragatha's wrist---lightly, carefully---and gently guided it back down to her lap. Her smile was soft and faint. She still hadn't looked up from the floor.
"Yeah...I think I'd really like that."
Oh...
Pomni rose from the couch and picked her way solemnly towards the corridor. Ragatha gazed after her, heart drumming against her chest.
~*~
"Well, goodnight, Pomni. I'm right down the hall if you need anything...so don't hesitate to ask!"
Ragatha lingered in the doorway, watching as Pomni settled into bed. She was a little surprised at the grandeur of Pomni's room - an ornate chandelier hung glittering from the ceiling, while a gilded upright mirror loomed in the corner and canopies of brushed velvet were draped heavily over her bed and alongside the wall. All of it made Pomni look impossibly small by comparison.
It struck Ragatha as a little cruel--the grandness of it all only seemed to emphasize how small, how....puny Pomni was, and how easily she could be swallowed whole by it.
Pomni lifted her head and met Ragatha's gaze for the very first time that day. She smiled real and wide.
"Thanks, Ragatha. I appreciate that---and you." She laid her head against the pillow and pulled the covers up to her chin. "Maybe things won't be as scary...tomorrow."
"You can bet they won't be!" Warmth had crept into Ragatha's voice. "Goodnight Pomni, I'll see ya tomorrow."
She pulled the girl's door shut, and humming cheerfully to herself, went on her way.
THANKS FOR READING!! Stay tuned for some horrible, moment-ruining little Jax in the next chapter!