Work Text:
It starts with the hand-feeding.
...Okay, so it doesn't really- there's about a month of forced bonding exercises and awkward van rides and even awkwarder 'company lunches' that sort of maybe lead up to all of this- but the hand-feeding incident is when Hoeru's view of his co-worker slides from 'weirdo with a sweets obsession' to 'weirdo with a sweets obsession that he is distinctly aware of'. Because before all that, Shouma really is just the sort of annoying co-worker that Hoeru always has to put up with in order to not get fired (because, oh man, prez has a soft spot the size of mars for the guy). He's the type of extrovert that freaks Hoeru out, like a too-yappy dog off a leash.
He's still all that, just that sometimes he'll go 'try this!' and hold out candy like he expects Hoeru to eat it out of his hand.
(He does, the first time. Only because he was so shocked Shouma even tried something like that, that he just... followed along. Not because he wanted to.)
Shouma does it before Hoeru clocks in, after he clocks in, when Hoeru returns from a lunchbreak out of breath because he totally wasn't out saving the world, literally whenever he seems to feel like having his co-worker eat out of his hands like a dog.
Sometimes it's because Hoeru 'looks tired' or 'needs cheering up', other times just because Shouma feels like it. It's not even when they're alone, either; he tries to feed Hoeru an octopus shaped hotdog while prez's journalist friend is sitting across from them, or wave handfuls of rock-shaped chocolates in front of Hoeru's face as if Tall Scary Hat Guy isn't right there. The dude really has no shame.
(Hoeru might have no shame either, considering he eats the octo-weenie straight from Shouma's chopsticks and has to ask Shouma for more of the yummy rock chocolates once Hat Guy is out of view.)
Amane tells him that Shouma doesn't mean any harm but that she'll 'def tell him to stop if you want!!!' which is nice, really. She clearly cares about her employees- even someone like Hoeru. Which is why he grumbles something that isn't really an agreement or refusal. It's weird. Hoeru's practically the king of part-time jobs (quantity, not quality) and he's worked alongside some real pieces of work, but nobody like Shouma. He doesn't get angry at Hoeru when he fucks up or expects more from him than showing up and doing the job he's paid to do. The first time Hoeru turns down an invitation to hang-out, Shouma never brings it up again. Most of the time, he respects Hoeru's boundaries.
He just... wants to feed Hoeru stuff he thinks he'd like.
It's fucking weird. Hoeru knows there has to be something more to it, something that he isn't getting.
And yet, Hoeru never tells him to stop. He'll roll his eyes and mumble, but still eats whatever Shouma puts in front of him. Not out of his hands because that's too much, even for Hoeru- still, he's playing into whatever Shouma's trying to pull here. Maybe it's a weird form of hazing. Or gay chicken. Okay, no, gay chicken implies something gay is happening, which is not.
"Being fed like a goat at a petting zoo by another man is totes gay, bee-tee-double-you." Sumino says, unhelpfully. Hoeru isn't sure how she managed to get him to spill any of this. Maybe it's a detective thing. She can be scary sometimes. "Wait, no, letting a guy feed you like a goat at a petting zoo is the gay part."
Hoeru is so annoyed he can't even focus on the nice flowers Bakugami bought for him to chew on. He slumps over on Tega Village's bar, lazily looking up at Sumino. "I'm not 'letting' him."
"Really." Sumino doesn't sound or look convinced. "You are the same guy who got himself fired because a co-worker 'looked at him wrong', right? Not replaced by a clone just yet?"
He ignores the clone comment, though being a clone does sound kind of cool. More importantly: "He had scary eyes! I wasn't going to get myself dragged into any yakuza business!"
"You are unexpectedly paranoid, Hoeru. But I digress- if you don't want him to hand-feed you like he's trying to tame a wild horse, tell him to stop." Suddenly, Sumino narrows her eyes. "Unless you don't have any workers rights. Hoeru, you don't have to put up with toxic work culture. If you feel like you don't have a voice-"
"No! Jeez, that isn't what I meant." Her concern is, secretly, appreciated. While this job isn't one she helped him to get, it's nice having someone looking out for him. She and prez are a lot alike in that way. "Man, I dunno how to explain it. I don't want him to do it, but it's not like I really mind either."
"Oh! So you're in denial." Sumino lets out a sigh of relief and playfully wipes sweat off her brow. "That, I can work with."
Hoeru rolls his eyes. "I'm not in denial. I just don't get his deal. What is getting out of any of it? I can't trust his motives."
"Maybe he's flirting with you? You're probably just missing all the signs- it's not like you're an expert."
"Well, neither are you!" He sputters.
This time it's Sumino who rolls her eyes and sticks out her tongue at him. "More of an expert than you. Trust me, flirting can be weird sometimes. Maybe your boytoy is just really maladjusted. Or is into treating you like a farm animal."
Is that even a thing people are into? Wow, sexperts like Sumino are scary...
"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but just ask him. Not a weird sex thing? Cool. Actually a weird sex thing? That's for you to deal with- just as long as you actually know. Ambiguity is the real killer here!"
Hoeru just grumbles and grabs another flower. Ambiguity, shmambiguity.
"Hooooooeru." Sumino leans over and pinches his cheek warningly. He slaps her hand away, but she just slaps him back. "Hoeru. Ask him."
"Fine! Fine, but if I get fired, you better find me a new job."
Hoeru doesn't ask him.
This is the best job he's had in a long time. Prez doesn't ask much of him and he gets free food. He's not going to ruin that by asking weird questions.
So life continues on as it always did. Hoeru fights the occasional No.1, dodges Kuon whenever he shows up, clocks in for work and lets Shouma feed him burnt-looking lunches and suspiciously homemade sweet treats. It's fine. Good, even. No sexuality-questioning involved.
Then one day, as they're on break and Shouma is cutting into the cake he and Sachika made the day before, Scary Hat Guy enters from stage left and drops a bomb.
"You're being heavy-handed, Shouma." Hat Guy comments as he passes them by, "Last I checked, you only feed your partner after they've agreed to be courted, not before."
Hapipare falls silent. Not only could you hear a pin drop, Hoeru can hear Amane drop something in the sink in (assumedly) shock. Nobody moves or even breathes. Hoeru risks a glance up and, oh man, Shouma is blushing.
"Courting?" Shouma eeks out after a moment, mildly flustered. He's pointedly not looking at anyone, just off to the side. "Lakia, you kidder!"
Hat Guy just looks confused. "Why would I be a child-" He's interrupted by Karakida tugging him aside and hissing 'that's not what that means, idiot!'
"...Courting?" Hoeru repeats to himself quietly, almost in a daze. He takes him a moment to even remember what the word means (it's the sort of archaic shit Bakugami would use) but when he does... well. He isn't sure what to feel exactly. Maybe he'd assume Hat Guy was just overstepping or misreading, but Shouma's reaction is just weird enough that it seems to be somewhat true. But there's no way, right? Even if Shouma were into dudes, he'd have better taste than Hoeru of all guys.
From the kitchen, Amane lets out a thoughtful hum. "So, all that was Umasho flirting?" She says, like it makes real tangible sense. Hoeru almost thinks it might- she's the one who knows Shouma the best out of anyone here. Her words have weight.
The realisation settles across the room unsteadily before Sachika claps her hands once, twice. "Okay! Hanti, Lakian, outta here! Let's let Umasho and Hoerukyun hash this out alone, shall we?"
Hoeru isn't sure what there is to 'hash out', but he appreciates how fast she gets herself and the others outta there. He's less appreciative of Amane clapping Shouma on the shoulder and whispering 'go get him, tiger!' like a sports coach.
Despite her support, nobody is 'got'. The two of them sit in silence until the awkwardness gets to Hoeru, who somehow has to be the communicator here.
"So. Courting rituals?"
Shouma seems to deflate at that, face turning sheepish. Though he's still not looking at Hoeru. "It's, uh, a traditional thing on my... father's side. To show that your partner is taken, you, um, feed them in public. Like a show of-" Shouma looks like he's about to wither away and doesn't finish his sentence. Hoeru gets what he's going for, anyway.
He's pretty sure that's just called PDA. Which, well. "You could've just asked." Or elaborated at any point in time. Because, surprisingly, he's not really freaked out by the meaning, just that he was left in the dark about it. It's kind of flattering, actually.
"I would've! ...Eventually?"
Hoeru snorts.
"It got out of hand?" Shouma responds, not really on the defensive but more backed into a corner. "I honestly wasn't even thinking about it when I first offered you food, but then you ate out of my hand and it kept happening and I didn't want to freak you out and cause you to quit because I know you need this job-"
"Slow your roll, dude. It's fine. It's whatever. Don't freak out over it." Hoeru waves him off. "Besides, it was weird from the beginning. Just glad to know there was some motive behind the weirdness."
Shouma blinks, finally looking Hoeru's way. "You aren't... weirded out?"
"Nah, I am. Anyone would be." Shouma's shoulders slump. "But it ain't like what you did has zero connetations for normal people anyway. I kinda suspected somethin' was going on."
"Sorry." Shouma whimpers like a hit dog. It's starting to make Hoeru feel bad. Seems like the guy has issues with keeping secrets, and it almost feels like Hoeru's navigating a minefield.
He sighs, patting Shouma on the back. "C'mon man, don't start with the puppy eyes. Did you ever hear me tell you to stop?"
"...No. But you didn't know-"
This conversation feels like it's about to start going around in circles. What Shouma did is a little creepy but ultimately harmless. If weird flirting was a crime, well, Byakuya would be serving life.
"I know now. Just don't pull something like this again, and it's fine. I'm not gonna quit." Hoeru says, leaning back in his chair. Shouma's still looking at him like he's liable to jump up and run away at any moment, and Hoeru isn't really sure how to get the guy to not freak out so much.
"...You aren't?" Shouma whispers, all tentative and quiet. He's talking to Hoeru like you'd talk to a run-away cat.
"No way. You know how much prez pays me?" Hoeru laughs, then clears his throat awkwardly. He can't believe he's saying this, but... "If I quit, what poor sucker are you gonna try and hit on next? It's up to me to take one for the team."
And it's out there. Shouma is weird and can't seem to function like a normal human being, but Hoeru would be lying if he said he didn't play some part in this. Sumino was right, as awful as it is to say. He liked whatever weird shit Shouma was doing.
He likes Shouma, full stop.
(Hoeru can't really remember liking anyone. He'd had a crush on Mine as a child, but that was always doomed for failure. Shouma feels tangible- not something that will disappear if Hoeru tries to hold on too tight. He feels real, really.)
While he's not sure what exactly he expected from Shouma after confession, he doesn't expect that wide-eyed look of confusion on the guy's face. Hoeru narrows his eyes. "What."
Shouma jumps a little, "Um, that last sentence- I don't know the saying."
Hoeru grins to himself. So he's just confused about the wording, huh. "It means that I ain't quitting, and you better not start doing your little courting nonsense with anyone else. Unless your dad's side is- ugh, what's the word? Poly-something-or-other?"
"I'm not my father." Shouma says with such conviction that it almost shocks Hoeru "Sorry. Um, what I mean is- it's just you, Hoeru-kun."
Something inside Hoeru preens at that. It feels good to be wanted. "Yeah?"
Shouma's expression finally turns normal, smile all gooey and sweet. "Yeah!"
Hoeru finally relaxes into his chair, feeling surprisingly good about this chain of events all things considered. "That's all I needed to know. Next time, tell me when you're flirting with me."
Shouma nods, "Okay! I can do that- wait, does this mean..." He trails off, because they're both on the same page now. Still, Hoeru wants to hear it from the guy himself. Partially because Hoeru's not quite sure this is even happening.
When Shouma realises Hoeru isn't going to answer, he sort of mumbles to himself distractedly. "...Are we dating now?"
That finally gets a laugh out of Hoeru. He reaches around to give Shouma's hair a good-natured ruffle. "I ain't the boyfriend type, but if you're happy with a guy like me..."
"I am!" Shouma yelps, nodding furiously. That's that, then. Who knew getting a boyfriend would be so easy?
"Guess we're dating, then. Now, c'mon, feed me some'a that cake. I'm starving over here." Hoeru grumbles, but watching Shouma scramble to grab a forkful of cake is amusing enough. "Let's make this shit official."
The cake is good as hell, unsurprisingly. Maybe because it's mostly made by Amane, or maybe it's because he can taste all the love Shouma put in in.
Ugh, look at that. Shouma's already rubbing off on him.