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1.
It was well past 2AM, but Waverly barely took notice of the black sky or the occasional creak of the porch. She was sitting at the kitchen table, maps and photographs and books spread in front of her, and she was happy despite the current situation. Sure, there was a revenant after her, and yes, said revenant had promised her certain death should he find her before sunrise, but Waverly felt more thrilled than frightened.
The research fuelled her, it filled her, she could feel it pulsing in her veins. Each new lead, each new name was a hydra’s head, another road for her to pursue and she loved it more than she had ever loved working at Shorty’s or cheering in high school or shopping with Stephanie in the big city. She was so enthralled, so delightfully distracted, that she didn’t notice the swing of the screen door, nor did she raise her head at the sound of boots in the hall. It was likely Wynonna relieving Dolls – they had some sort of overnight watch planned - but again, Waverly wasn’t worried. Doc was prowling the hills and her sister had a big gun and the picture in her hand was well over one hundred years old. Nothing could stop her. Not a thing.
“Tea?”
The voice was high and soft and upon recognition, Waverly snapped her head up and nearly gave herself whiplash. Nicole Haught was standing in her kitchen. Nicole Haught, who was sleepy and beautiful and whose cheeks were red from cold was standing in her kitchen and Waverly didn’t quite understand why this woman’s presence made her blush and fluster.
“Um, yah? I mean, yes! Tea!”
It came out as a babble, an embarrassing exclamation, and Nicole was kind enough to smile and turn away, letting Waverly mentally berate her inability to stay cool around the rookie police officer. It was another minute before Nicole took a seat beside Waverly, setting a chipped mug carefully down in front of her.
“Anything interesting?” Nicole asked and once again, Waverly found herself grasping for words.
“I can…I mean, it’s totally okay, I’ll put it away for now.”
She made to gather the materials when Nicole stopped her with a soft hand on her arm.
“No need on my account, honestly, I’m curious. This all looks so fascinating!”
“Seriously?” Waverly had spent years hiding her work. Years listening to Champ complain about her studying and her books and the sepia toned images constantly taped to her walls.
Nicole nodded and Waverly swallowed hard as they made eye contact. They held each other’s gaze for a beat too long and when they both blushed and looked away, Waverly found herself giggling.
“Anything that makes you smile like that has got to be pretty amazing,” Nicole said, her eyes wide and open and so honest that it made Waverly feel courageous and scared all at the same time.
Feeling suddenly brave at the sight of Nicole’s shared red cheeks, Waverly reached out her hand, folding it gently over Nicole’s. She passed the officer a faded image of a particularly dastardly looking revenant and despite the late hour and their cooling tea on the table, Waverly didn’t move her hand again until well after the sun had peaked over the horizon.
2.
When Waverly was thirteen-years-old, Champ had pushed her against a locker and kissed her in front of a cheering group of football players. She could still hear the hoots and hollers, she could still feel the unwelcome wetness of his mouth on hers. And she could also still feel the strange mix of jealousy and adoration of the popular girls in her class when they found out. That was the moment they stopped making fun of her crazy sister or her dead father. That was the moment her last name seemed to no longer matter. It was also the last moment Waverly had that was free of Champ. At the time, she thought it was a miracle. Looking back, it was more of a curse. And she had had more than enough experience with those to last a lifetime.
So standing on the porch of her home, holding hands with Nicole, feeling tingles of nervousness and excitement, Waverly couldn’t help but feel like the heroine in one of her much-loved romance novels. This was the moment. Her life was about to change. She wasn’t quite sure how, but she knew it was coming. After three dates and three respectful pecks on the cheek, Waverly knew that this night was going to be different.
Nicole held both of her hands and smiled that small, little smile that seemed reserved just for Waverly. She blinked once, as if making some sort of decision, and then opened her mouth to speak and Waverly felt herself begin to smile before the words even came out.
“Waverly, may I kiss you?”
She could still feel the hard metal of the lockers against her back when she darted forward, grabbing the material of Nicole’s plaid button in her hand.
“You’d better, Haught,” she said, more breathless than expected. And then they were kissing. Softly at first, tentatively, and Waverly had no idea what to do with her hands because there were new body parts to deal with here. Exciting, new body parts, and she didn’t want to be too forward, or too prudish. She didn’t want to screw this up. And then she stopped thinking, because Nicole’s tongue had gently darted against her bottom lip and Waverly’s hands found purchase on a shapely set of hips. Nicole’s hands held Waverly’s face, gently, carefully, and this was all feeling like a movie, liking something happening to someone else, like the best freaking moment of her entire life, like…
“You know this gun can send people to hell.”
Wynonna stood in the doorway, Peacemaker raised lazily in one hand as she shot her baby sister a truly wicked grin. Before Waverly could scream, however, Nicole lowered her hands to Waverly’s shoulders and squeezed.
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Earp,” she said, levelling Wynonna with a cold stare and for a moment, Waverly worried that her sister and her girlfriend were going to kill each other. Except Wynonna was laughing, and so was Nicole, and when the hell had those two become buddies?
“You’re all right, Haught. But, seriously, Waves, past your curfew.”
“What curfew?” Waverly found herself pulled from Nicole’s grasp as Wynonna playfully dragged her into the house. She didn’t like it one bit.
“Say ‘goodnight, Officer Haughty McHaught Haught!’” Wynonna laughed as Waverly growled, but Nicole dipped her head lightly and started walking towards her car.
“Wynonna what the hell?”
“Shut up. You love me.”
Five minutes later and still furious with her sister for ruining the most epic first kiss in recorded history, Waverly stomped around her bedroom, trying to compose an apologetic text when she heard the unmistakable sound of pebbles against the window.
Nicole was standing outside, laughing, and it was all Waverly could do not to leap out into her arms.
“Waverly Earp!” she called, her smile blinding in the moonlight.
“Hi!” Waverly waved back, sinking down against the windowsill.
“I just needed to see your face one more time,” Nicole said and Waverly was fairly certain that she was about to swoon.
“I miss you,” Waverly heard herself confess and wondered how in the world it could be so true. But it was. Painfully so.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Yes!”
“And the next day?”
“Yes!” Waverly started to laugh and it felt so good, so incredibly amazing to laugh in this place that had seen so much death and so much loss. But Nicole Haught was standing in the front yard, one hand pressed to her chest, the other raised in farewell, and Waverly could not remember what it felt like to be sad or to hurt. Even the memory of those silly lockers began to fade. Instead all she could remember was the feel of Nicole’s lips on her own.
She blew a kiss then and Nicole seemed to watch it fall from the window, down, down, down, and into her outstretched hand. She playfully pressed her palm against her cheek and closed her eyes.
And Waverly knew her life would never be the same.
3.
The air was electric and Waverly felt it in every bone in her body. There was thunder threatening lowly in the distance, but the rain waited, paused, held everything in its ominous threat and Waverly could barely breathe.
Maybe it was the anticipation that raised the hair on her arms. Maybe it was the knowing that at any minute, the sky could open. Or maybe it was Nicole beside her in the truck, hair down and sweeping over a black button-up shirt, eyes only visible when oncoming headlights flashed on the highway. They had been on many dates, many wonderful, fun dates, but tonight felt different. It wasn’t just the weather, something had changed between them, something felt charged and coiled, and when Nicole had picked up Waverly and asked to take her somewhere new, Waverly could barely get the words out before finding Nicole’s lips again.
They drove in silence until the truck pulled into what appeared to be a run-down shack on the side of the highway. The parking lot was full, however, and the neon sign perched on the roof gave evidence that the place was very much open.
“Is this a gay bar?” Waverly asked, never taking her eyes off the sign. Ruby’s Place shown brightly in her eyes and turned Nicole’s hair an odd shade of blue and then purple and then blue again.
“We don’t have to go in,” Nicole said, sounding nervous. “I just wanted to take you dancing somewhere a little different.”
Again, Waverly felt the electricity in the air, the stillness, the promise, and all she could do was nod. Champ’s idea of hot date was an evening at Shorty’s. He liked line dancing and he’d pick Waverly up, spin her around, pull her roughly back into his lap. She liked it sometimes too, his physicality, his strength. It made her less Wynonna Earp’s sister and more Champ’s girlfriend. Wynonna was the town pariah. Champ was a rodeo star. And so when Nicole led her into the dive bar, when she carefully pushed her way onto the dark dance floor where bodies seemed pressed together in shadowy companionship, Wavelry expected to be pulled in against the officer’s body hard, twirled, dipped, shown off like a trophy or a prize or something slightly less than she was.
Except Nicole didn’t pull at her. She let Waverly lead, instead choosing to hover her fingers over Waverly’s hips, a suggestion of a grasp, a tantalizing promise, and once again Waverly felt the electricity. She tossed her arms over Nicole’s shoulders, crossing them at the wrists and they danced, slowly, heated, ignoring the heavy beat and the bodies beside them. It was Waverly who pulled Nicole in closer, Waverly who reached down to curl Nicole’s hands against her, Waverly who reached up again and tangled her fingers in long, wavy auburn hair.
They were cheek to cheek, hip against hip, and Nicole’s shirt was unbuttoned just so. Waverly couldn’t stop herself from tucking her face against the long, pale neck before her, kissing a pulse point that seemed to flutter against her lips. She felt rather than heard Nicole breathe in, felt the sudden sharp fingers where her crop top rode up, felt the smallest jerk of wide hips against her. And it was enough. More than enough. Standing on her toes, Waverly brushed her lips against Nicole’s ears and whispered, “Come home with me.”
~*~
Waverly was sixteen when she lost her virginity to Champ in the back of his pickup truck. She didn’t consider it a loss of anything, but rather a gain because despite how short the experience was, despite the pain, when all was said and done she felt normal, blissfully normal. It was as if she had checked off some imaginary box in her head, as if she now had substance behind the mysterious smile she shot Kristie at school the next day. She was doing everything like she was supposed to, on schedule. Normal. And it didn’t matter that she would have rather been at the library studying the ancient Mayans. It didn’t matter at all.
But tonight, standing in her bedroom across from Nicole Haught, with the thunder still rumbling in the distance and the promise of rain heavy in the air, it felt like everything suddenly mattered. She had done her research, a whole lot of research, and she just prayed that she’d get this right, that she wouldn’t screw this up, that she’d cut her nails short enough this morning and shaved her legs high enough and…
“Waverly, you okay?”
“What? Why? Yes! Of course, I’m great!” Waverly took a lurching step forward and kissed Nicole once, hard. She was nervous, but she was also excited because finally this was happening and Nicole was…well, she was Nicole and this would be okay. More than okay.
“Hey,” Nicole whispered, making a grab for Waverly’s hands where they rested against her chest. “We can take it slow, sweetheart, we have all the time in the world.”
This was not Champ. This was not a quick romp in the back of the car or an enthusiastic fuck in the storeroom at Shorty’s. Tonight was going to mean something. And that scared Waverly more than anything.
“Hey,” Nicole said again, gently cupping Waverly’s face in one hand. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“I want you,” Waverly said in response and it was true, achingly so.
“Okay. Good.”
And then Nicole was on her knees and Waverly’s short skirt was on the floor.
The sky opened up then and it started to rain.
~*~
Despite the late hour, Waverly could not sleep, not when the rain was so loud against the window, not when she felt like she might burst from happiness. It had taken them some time after to adjust in the bed as they tossed and turned against each other, trying to find the right way to sleep in their newly shared space. But then Waverly had turned onto her back and Nicole rested her face against Waverly’s shoulder and it all clicked. The room was warm and Nicole’s skin felt so good against her, everything felt good, and even though she should have passed out with sated exhaustion, Waverly didn’t want the night to end.
“Are you okay?” Nicole’s voice was soft, a whisper across Waverly’s chest and then the police officer propped herself up so she could look down.
“I know some of that was new for you,” she continued, carefully tracing Waverly’s forehead with gentle fingers, “and it’s okay if you’re scared or unsure, you can tell me anything.”
Nicole’s eyes were so round and so wide and Waverly felt like her ribcage had suddenly expanded, like everything she was feeling wanted to burst free, pour out, fill every space until the world was just her and Nicole and nothing else.
“The only thing that scares me is that you may fall asleep before we can do it all again,” Waverly said. She had intended it to be funny, sassy even. But it came out more serious than expected because she meant it. Truly meant it. She didn’t want to sleep, she didn’t want to waste one moment and Nicole seemed to feel the same way.
“I waited for you for so long,” Nicole confessed, still gazing down at Waverly’s face.
“I think I was waiting for you too.”
Sleep could wait. And it did.
4.
Wynonna’s hand felt cold in hers, but the grip was reassuring, grounding even. Wavelry knew she should have been able to hear Wynonna talking to her, or Doc in the front seat, or even Dolls who was driving faster than the speed limit. But all she could hear was the sound of her own heart beating against her chest, thrumming against her bones. She squeezed Wynonna’s hand, trying desperately to hear anything but her terror and with some effort, she could finally make out the worried mumbles of the people around her.
“Waves? Baby Girl, it’s gonna be okay,” Wynonna pulled Waverly in close, as close as their seatbelts would allow and Waverly tried to let herself trust her big sister. Wynonna kept her safe. Wynonna would never let anything happen to her. But something had happened. Not to her. But it sure felt like it.
“Almost there, Waverly,” Dolls’ voice was low and steady, his eyes never left the road.
“Wynonna?”
“Yah, Waves?”
“I have blood on me.”
There was blood on her hands and on her chest and on her stomach. And there was blood on Wynonna and Doc and Dolls, but it didn’t belong to them. Not a drop. Because it all had come from Nicole.
“She’s strong, Waverly, stronger than any woman has a right to be,” Doc’s drawl was terse, but there as he turned in his seat, worried eyes hidden by the brim of his hat.
“Doc, can we try a little less sexism and a little more support here?” Wynonna asked and that felt good. The banter. Wavelry tried to smile, to give into the normalcy of Wynonna and Doc arguing. Except it was hard. Because one minute they had all been chasing down a revenant and the next Nicole had been shot. And then there were ambulances and hurried voices saying that Officer Haught had to be taken to the big city, that the wound was too serious, that she needed surgery, that she was losing too much blood…
“She said that she loved me and then she said goodbye,” Waverly said to herself, remembering the hot, slick flow of blood as it spilled from Nicole’s abdomen and over Waverly’s hand.
“Dude, that woman is totally a bumper sticker,” Wynonna was smiling against Waverly’s temple and the sisters sank into one another.
“If she dies I’m going to kill her!”
“Baby girl, if she dies I’ll help you do it.”
~*~
Champ had once been thrown from a bull and landed with a thunk on his head. Purgatory’s doctor had looked him over once, deemed his skull the thickest he’d ever seen, and sent him on his way. But Waverly still brought him soup and dotted on the comical bump on his forehead all while feeling nothing. He was her boyfriend and he had an injury and she was supposed to bring him soup. End of story. Tonight, it was all she could do not to scream. She had never been more afraid. Never felt so helpless.
The ER was swarming with people, more people than Waverly could ever remember seeing in one place and it took some time to find a nurse willing to give them information. They were a motley crew if there ever was one, all cowboy boots and fringed jackets and empty holsters. But eventually they were taken to a surgeon who looked tired and vaguely disinterested.
“Nicole Haught,” Waverly repeated the name as if she hadn’t called it that very morning, loudly, as clever fingers found their way into her pyjama bottoms.
“And you are?” The surgeon barely glanced at her, but it struck Waverly then. Maybe she should have called Nicole’s parents? Her brothers?
“I’m…um…she’s…she’s mine.”
“That’ll do.”
~*~
Nicole was pale, almost as pale as the white pillows and white sheets surrounding her. It made her hair seem to glow, amber and gold and bronze, and Wavery carefully touched it, fearful of upsetting the numerous machines hooked up to her girlfriend. The surgery had gone well, the bullet removed, but there would be damage, permanent damage. By the time Waverly had made it into her room, Nicole was awake and the way her eyes filled with tears when Waverly took her hand was too much. Waverly hated to see Nicole cry.
“I called your mom,” Waverly said, trying to quell her own fear. “And the surgeon said you were a trooper, which, big surprise. Wynonna wants to see you and yell at you, but I told her that was my job so she’s just out in the hall, with Henry and Dolls.”
“Did the doctor tell you anything else?” Nicole’s voice was soft and scratchy, but her grip on Waverly’s hand was strong.
“Just that you did great!”
“He told me I probably can’t have kids now.”
Her voice caught, her chin wobbled, and Waverly wanted to reach forward and stop the tears, stop the pain. She felt it in her gut, in her chest, she wanted to swallow it up and remove it, toss it from the room and their lives, anything to make Nicole stop shaking
“Oh, baby,” is what came out instead and Nicole sniffled loudly, her face breaking with the effort not to cry out. Waverly held her face in both hands then, as if her grip could physically hold Nicole together, as if her palms could catch all the tears.
“I really wanted kids,” Nicole said and without thinking, Waverly stood up and started talking.
“Well, I’ll just have to have them then. Yah, we’ll get your brother to help out and boom! Haught-Earp babies!”
“Wait…what?”
“Oh…my god.”
They stared at each other, mouth hanging open, eyes impossibly wide. And then Nicole laughed, a deep, fully bodied laugh, and Waverly couldn’t help but join in.
“This is so not how I wanted to have this conversation!” she said and Nicole could only wheeze and nod and pull her back down on the bed. Waverly carefully wedged herself onto the thin mattress, curving her body against Nicole. There were a lot of tubes and wires to be wary of, but the woman in the bed immediately calmed once Waverly draped an arm lightly across her middle.
“Hey, do me a favour?” Waverly whispered softly and Nicole turned her head, eyebrows raised in question.
“Don’t get shot again. Ever. That’s how I lost my dad and…”
“Okay. No more getting shot.”
“Good. And no more saying ‘goodbye’ in tragically romantic moments either.”
This garnered a sly grin from Nicole, but she still said nothing, seemingly content with just resting against Waverly and listening to her voice.
“I mean, I like a romance novel as much as the next girl, but that was too much, Nicole Haught.”
“Okay.”
“I’m serious!”
“Okay.”
“You think I’m joking, but…”
“Babe?”
Waverly stilled and pressed a kiss to Nicole’s forehead.
“Hmmm?”
“Stay?”
“Always.”
5.
“You wanna go to Vegas?”
“Why?”
“There’s, like, the world’s biggest buffet and I’m gonna make a boat load of money and oh! We can totally get married for, like $50, come on Waves it’ll be awesome!”
“Did you just propose?”
“Whatever, buffets, Waverly, as far as the eye can see! You love buffets!”
~*~
“Nicole Haught, you tell me where we’re going this instant!”
Behind the blindfold, Waverly could only vaguely make out colours and shapes. She knew she was in Nicole’s truck and she knew they had been driving for a long time, but this was getting ridiculous. She heard airy laughter beside her and then a warm palm found her thigh, but otherwise, Officer Haught showed no sign of removing the black tie from Waverly’s face.
“I’m a member of the Black Badge Division, you know. Official researcher! They pay me to find out things so don’t you think you can trick me!” Waverly tried to sound annoyed and demanding, but she couldn’t, not when she had the giggles and adrenaline was coursing through her veins. Nicole had picked her up unannounced, tied on the blindfold, and promptly shuffled Waverly into her truck.
“Haught! Don’t get kinky with my baby sister on Earp land,” Wynonna called and Waverly was mortified when her girlfriend yelled back, “too late!”
She pretended to find their relationship obnoxious, but the fact that Wynonna and Nicole had formed some bizarre bromance right under her nose was delightful. Her life felt full, open, it felt like everyday held possibility, so when Nicole showed up with a blindfold and a too-wide smile, Waverly knew it was going to be one of those days, one of those big days and she couldn’t wait.
The truck came to a gentle stop without warning and before Waverly could so much as grumble, Nicole was guiding her somewhere, pausing occasionally to mention when she had to climb a stair or wait for a door to open. Nicole’s hand was warm and solid on the small of Waverly’s back and it all reminded her of those silly trust exercises the girls used to play in gym class. Close your eyes and fall back, I’ll catch you. Nicole always would. There was no need for a test.
“Okay, stop.” The warm hand was gone and Waverly could hear shuffling behind her and then Nicole’s voice again, “you can take off the blindfold.”
There were books. Shelves and shelves of books. Old and bound in tanned leather, titles in gold, square letters, pages marbled with age and secrets and late nights spent with only candlelight and fog. And there were also pictures, tables of pictures. And beside that, artefacts, Sheriffs stars and disused pistols and what looked to be a man’s boot, full of holes and stories.
“Holy crap!” Waverly’s eyes felt painfully wide, she didn’t know what to look at first, where to start.
“Are we in the State Archives? Why is it empty? Can I read these? Where do…”
“Waverly?” It was the slight desperation in Nicole’s voice that made Waverly stop and turn. She gasped again, but this time it had nothing to do with the treasures before her. Nicole had silently managed to crouch down on one knee. She looks handsome in her uniform, her Stetson held firmly against her chest. And in her free hand, she held out a velvet box, open to reveal an antique ring, gold and sparkling.
“This is happening,” was all Waverly could think to say and Nicole smiled and blushed before squaring her shoulders.
“Waverly Earp, if you don’t let me get this out I’m gonna be real mad, so please, just…let me talk. Just this once.”
Waverly nodded, forcing herself not to scream “YES!” at the top of her lungs and pull Nicole into a rib-crushing hug.
“You are the most confounding person I’ve ever met, you terrify me because you’re so brave and stubborn and so smart, Waverly. You’re so smart. But my daddy always said that the best way to conquer fear is to lean into it and from the moment I saw you, I wanted to lean in as far as you would let me.”
She swallowed once and set her hat down, using her now free hand to take Waverly’s own.
“I love you in a way that makes me feel dizzy and strong all at the same time and I know you don’t need protecting, you don’t need to be saved, I’m not offering you that even though I want too. But I’m asking…will you let me be the one you come home to after your adventures? The one you tell your stories too? Let me be your home Waverly, and if I’m lucky, maybe you’ll be mine too. So, Waverly Earp, will you do me the great honour of being my wife?”
Moments before Waverly had wanted to scream “yes!” but now, she was at a loss for words. So instead she crouched down, kneeling in front of Nicole and kissed her. Softly, so impossibly softly, and then they were hugging in the middle of the State Archive, heads bowed low together, faces pressed into throats and shoulders.
“You and that mouth of yours,” Waverly finally managed, shaking her head as she pulled away to look into waiting brown eyes.
“Kinda waiting here, sweetheart.”
“Oh gosh, sorry! Yes! Yah, Nicole..yes.”
With a great sight of relief, Nicole slipped the ring onto Waverly’s finger and amidst rusted relics of the past, they kissed again, blazing a new trail towards the future.
1*
She was still sore, she knew she would be, but it was a strange pain, welcome almost. Her bed was incredibly comfortable and the sheets smelled soft and fresh. Outside she knew that Wynonna was busy puttering away in the recently refurbished barn and directly in front of her, crouched low on the floor kneeling, was her wife. Everything felt right. The Earp Homestead had truly become a home and Waverly had the woman she loved and her sister there with her, everyone in their place.
“Everything okay?” she asked, startling Nicole who leaned up slightly from the bassinet with a look of guilt plastered on her face.
“Did I wake you?”
“No, not at all. What you two doing over there?”
Nicole reached down and retrieved the small bundle, bringing it closer to the bed. The baby was only 48 hours old, but already, he had everyone at his beck and call. Wynonna had shown up to the hospital with an impossibly tiny Stetson and Doc and Dolls were out acquiring rocking horses and tiny boots. And then there was Nicole, his mama, who looked at his tiny face like it held all the answer to every question ever asked.
“Look at his finger nails,” she said in reverence, raising one of his tiny hands with her finger. “Aren’t they the most perfect little finger nails?”
“Yah, we made a good baby, Haught,” Waverly reached out then and tucked the infant against her breast. He already had a little tuft of red hair and when his eyes were opened, they were the Earp eyes, Waverly’s eyes.
“We need to give him a name,” Nicole’s gaze never left the tiny head.
“It doesn’t have to be a ‘W’ name, you know.”
“Of course it does, it should be. He’s part of a legacy.”
Waverly inhaled deeply and wrapped one arm around Nicole’s shoulders, bringing her in close.
“I love you a really ridiculous amount, you know?”
“Well good. Because I have some serious competition now,” Nicole said, kissing the top of the baby’s head.
Waverly held her family in her arms. Her wife. Her child. And no matter how different it looked from her teenage dreams, it was perfect, more than perfect. What she had wanted, what she had thought she wanted drifted away, a cobweb in the wind, and what was left was better than any dream she had ever dared have.
Nothing could ever compare.