Work Text:
Nico sighed. He stared at the ceiling. Would today be the day? Would he finally feel brave enough to tell someone? He debated texting Jenson, the man probably being busy.
He decided to pick up his phone, typing out a message and erasing it. He repeated the process a few times. After a while or just staring at the screen in silence he sent a message, his hands shaking.
“Hey, can you hang out later?”
He threw the phone across the bed, trying desperately to get his breathing under control. He remembered the exercise his physical trainer gave him. Just look around, name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you smell and lastly two you can taste.
He went through the motions, yet they didn’t really help. After a few minutes he managed to calm down successfully. He breathed in and out deeply and crawled over to the other side of the bed, picking up his phone from where he threw it away. Taking one last deep breath, he opened his phone.
One unopened message from Jense 🩷
He typed in his code with shaking fingers, getting it right after three tries. The message waited for him in the corner of the screen. He tapped the icon of the messaging app and looked away, scared.
He read the message.
“Yeah, of course, what’s up?”
He typed another message, hesitating to send it but tapping the send icon anyway.
“Just wanted to talk for a bit”
Jenson replied instantly.
“Okay, meet me at my house in half an hour?”
“Yeah”
Nico sighed again, nervous. He started getting ready, changing his shirt three times. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and bit his lip. Was his outfit manly enough? Did it hide his feminine features well? Did the pants even match?
He shook his head and looked at his watch, he was running late. He put his shoes on and went outside, grabbing his keys on the way out. He walked into the garage and unlocked his car, starting it and driving away.
The driving calmed him down, his hands still kind of sweaty, but less than earlier. He hummed along to the song playing on the radio, being too tired to put his playlist on. When he arrived at Jenson’s place he turned the engine off but stayed in the car, just holding the wheel. He wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up, getting out of the car and knocking on Jenson’s door.
The door opened, Jenson smiling at him.
“Hey man, how you doing?” Jenson said.
“Uh, I’m fine. And you?” Nico replied.
Jenson opened the door wider, stepping aside to let him in. Nico stepped past him and toed his shoes off. They walked into the living room together.
“Do you want anything to drink?”
“A glass of water is fine, thanks.”
Jenson turned and grabbed two glasses of water, giving one to Nico. They both sat down on the couch, Jenson spreading his thighs, relaxed. Nico kept thinking of his posture, shifting around on the couch. Jenson started speaking.
“So, why are you actually here? Your messages sounded… short.”
Nico looked down.
“Yeah, I, uhm, have to tell you something.”
Jenson looked at him for a moment, Nico avoiding his gaze.
“You don’t have to be so nervous, you know? You can tell me anything, mate”
Nico swallowed and nodded, taking a sip of his water to compose himself.
“I know, it’s just… a hard topic.”
Jenson frowned, his face twisting in concern. He leaned forward, placing his hand on Nico’s arm.
“You can take your time, it’s fine.”
Nico gulped some more of his water down, the glass almost empty. He put it down on the coffee table and fiddled with the bottom of his shirt. He looked up.
“Just, don’t be weird about it, okay?”
Jenson nodded solemnly.
“Of course.”
Nico took a deep breath.
“Okay, so… I’m trans. Transgender.”
Jenson’s eyes widened. He looked Nico up and down.
“Wait, you’re… a woman now?”
“What? No. I was born as a girl, I’m a man now.”
Jenson looked at him.
“Oh, that makes more sense, sorry. But you’re… you’ve done surgery?”
He paused.
“Sorry, that was probably a rude question, right?”
Nico looked at him.
“Yeah, it’s not something you just ask anyone. But we’re good friends, which is why I’m trusting you with this. And yes, I did get top surgery, as soon as I could, actually.”
“Oh, uhm, okay.”
“That’s it? You don’t have any… other things?”
Jenson hesitated.
“Well, I do, but I don’t want to be rude. And I’m glad you trusted me, so I’m fine not knowing every single detail.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.” Nico replied.
Jenson looked at him again with his piercing gaze.
“Can I.. maybe, hug you?” Jenson asked.
“Sure.”
The two men embraced each other, Jenson pulling Nico close. They held each other close for a while, just relaxing into the other's hold.
“I mean it, thank you.” Nico said.
“For what?”
“For not treating me differently, just… being normal about it.”
“No, thank you. For trusting me with this. I can imagine how hard it had to be to keep all this a secret all of the time.”
Nico replied.
“Well, a few people know of course. My family.., Lewis, and some old people from back in the karting days. But I doubt they remember, to be honest.”
“Still, it can’t have been easy on you.”
“Not always, but I’m doing okay now.”
“I’m glad.”
Nico felt refreshed, realizing the tension in his shoulders had lessened considerably. Later that day he went home feeling lighter. About himself, but also just in general.