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They’re skipping cram class again, as always. They’re listening to music on Chengyu’s phone, smoking cigarettes Chi Cheng stole from his big sister.
“Lanli keeps texting me,” Chengyu says, breaking their comfortable silence. “I know my father would love it if I went out with her, makes me even more annoyed by her.”
Chi Cheng ashes his cigarette, “Why not just sleep with her? See if she’s good in bed. Might be fun,”
“Are you crazy?” Chengyu yells. Chi Cheng shushes him. They’re behind a convenience store not far from the school. He doesn’t want the laoban discovering them out here.
“Am I crazy? You’re crazy. Lilan is the prettiest girl in our class. Richest girl too,”
“You date her then,” Chenyu says, throwing his burnt butt to the ground, lighting up another cigarette.
“Not interested,” Chi Cheng says, throwing his butt down and gesturing for another. He lights it off of Chengyu’s as they always do.
“No interested? C’mon,” He bumps his shoulder against Chi Cheng’s, “I’m sure she would jump ship to you if gave her any attention,”
Chi Cheng takes a long drag of his cigarette, “Let me ask you this, do you ever think about men?”
Chengyu’s stomach does a flip. “Think about them in what way?”
“Kissing them. Fucking them.”
Chengyu chokes on his drag and starts violently coughing, he walks away from Chi Cheng for a second to catch his breath.
“You’re messing with me right?” Chengyu says.
“Not messing with you, I’m serious,” Chi Cheng replies. Chengyu’s mouth drops open as he takes it all in, Chi Cheng’s demeanor hasn’t changed at all. He doesn’t seem to realize at all how far he just dug into Chengyu’s heart. Chengyu thought he would never tell Chi Cheng he is gay. He’s known since he was 13, and thought maybe he would go to college in America, and find gay friends there. He never thought his best friend since birth, his brother, could possibly be holding the same secret.
“H-have you ever kissed a boy?” Chengyu asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“No, but- You know Junyu in our Biology class?”
Chengyu nods, he definitely has noticed him too. He’s shorter than the other boys in their class, a little shy, and he has huge, adorable eyes.
“I think about kissing him sometimes. Cornering him in the bathroom. I see the way he looks at me.”
“Go for it, Chengcheng!” Chengyu says, punching him in the arm.
“You’re not mad, then? You won’t tell my parents?” Chi Cheng says, his eyes shifting over to Chengyu’s. Chengyu can finally see the break in his walls. He glances at Chi Cheng’s hand holding his cig, posed perfectly in front of his mouth. He’s shaking.
Chengyu slides his arm around Chi Cheng’s shoulders, bringing him flush to his body, hoping the contact will stop his shaking,
“Mad at you? That wouldn’t be like us, would it?” Chengyu jokes. They argued not ten minutes ago about who was supposed to bring a lighter, when Chengyu finally retreated and bought one in the store.
“Answer the damn question, Guo Chengyu, are you going to tell my parents?”
Chengyu takes a deep breath. “Guess you’d have to tell mine too then,”
“Tell them what?”
“That I like men,” Chengyu says, releasing a deep breath.
“Dumbass,” Chi Cheng says, pushing Chengyu away.
“I’m not joking. I’m gay, too.” Chengyu says, he clears his throat.
Chi Cheng throws his head back in laughter.
“What are you laughing at?” Chengyu asks, scowling.
“Just imagine our fathers, when they both don’t end up with a daughter-in-law! Their only son,” Chi Cheng laughs.
“It’s that funny, huh?” Chengyu says, and he can’t help but laugh along. Chi Cheng wraps his arm around Chengyu’s shoulder as they laugh together.
“Tell me then,” Chi Cheng says, the same old look of up-to-no-good, “who do you have a crush on?”