Chapter Text
Now, it may be hard to believe, but Katsuki really was working on his anger issues. And things were going-
"Die, die, die!"
Things were going-
"DIIIIE!"
Katsuki, enough!
"FUCK OFF AND DIE ALREADY!" he shouted at the poor, innocent narrator.
"INNOCENT, MY ASS! YOU'RE ANNOYING!"
Why, I beg your pardon!?
"Yeah, that's right, you damn extra! You should beg!"
"Kacchan, who are you talking to?"
The sudden appearance of his childhood friend startled Katsuki, and he turned to-
"SHUT UP! I wasn't fucking startled!" he shouted into the air.
He probably imagined the narrator must be up there somehow. What a fool.
"Oh yeah? Then show yourself!"
I can't. This is a fanfiction starring you and-
"What the fuck is a fanfiction!?"
"Kacchan, you're scaring me. W-who are you talking to?" precious bean Izuku asked.
"Precious bean WHO!? You clearly don't know the damn nerd".
"W-what?"
"And I heard that he fucking asked, you don't have to fucking add that shit, damn it!" Katsuki said.
The narrator’s continued narration made him groan and pull at his hair.
"Fine! If you're gonna ignore me, then I'm gonna fucking ignore you, too, bastard!"
You're a bastard!
"SHUT UP!"
So much for ignoring me...
Katsuki groaned again.
"Seriously Kacchan, I'm- You're not making any sense right now!"
"It's just the fucking narrator".
"The... what?"
"It's nothing. I was fucking hit by some kid's quirk this morning. They said it’s completely harmless, but it made an annoying voice appear that apparently I'm the only one that can hear", he explained. "It even adds dumb shit like 'he said' or 'he explained' after my sentences", he explained.
"You already said I explained, asshole! Now, that's just repetitive, poor writing".
Ugh, everyone's a critic these days.
"It even bitches about my bitching, but I'm not being the bitch here. I just want it to leave me alone!"
I will, as soon as you finish the story.
"What fucking story?"
The fanfiction.
"Again, what the FUCK is a fucking fanfiction!?"
"Ah, that- uh..."
"Spit it out, nerd!"
"It's, um, fiction... written by uh, fans. It's- it's quite popular these days! Lots of heroes have fanfics written about them!"
"What the fuck's the point of that!?"
"Uh... Oh, t-that- um..." Izuku stuttered, blush creeping up on his adorable, freckled cheeks.
"What the fuck? The hell you mean, his adorable freckled cheeks? You have a thing for the nerd or something, ass-voice?"
Ass-voice, wow... Creative...
"Shut up and answer me!"
Well, I can’t very well do both, now can I? But alright, if you must know, the answer is no. I'm not the one with a 'thing for the nerd'.
"I'm gonna get a fucking migraine", Katsuki bitched, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Meanwhile, Izuku's eyes had gone wide, and his blush had deepened; something Katsuki was only now noticing.
"Well, I'm only noticing it because you're pointing this shit out! Why else would I look at-"
"W-wait, Kacchan!"
"Huh?"
"Y-you said... you have a narrator..."
"Yeah, so?"
"And... it's- it's a... fanfic?"
"Sounds like it, yeah. Why? You gonna tell me what the fuck that means or what?"
"Oh, um... It's... M-maybe the narrator c-could explain it better".
For you, Izuku? Anything! You're such a sweetheart.
"Oi, gross! Don't call him that!"
"C-call me what?"
Katsuki slapped a hand over Izuku's mouth and stared pointedly into the air, waiting for the narrator to continue explaining. But the narration annoyed him, and he rolled his eyes, feeling like this might be a waste of time.
"If you know that, then get on with it!"
Oh, fine! Since you're being so boring, and since it will move this fanfiction along, I will!
Now, there's many types of fanfictions. Some focusing on family or friend relations. Some might be more plot and action driven. But you, my dear, are in what is called a 'slashfic'.
"Great. What's that?"
"What's what?" Izuku asked, finally having managed to pull free from the hand covering his mouth.
"Ass-voice says I'm in something called a slashfic. You know about that?"
Izuku's face did something very complicated then. First, he blushed furiously. Then he went pale, looking almost sick. Then he went back to blushing again.
"K-kacchan, um- Could you maybe uh... ask the narrator what the rating on the fic is, and who is the uh… deuteragonist?"
Katsuki looked back into the thin air.
"What he said", he sighed, pointing to Izuku. "Well?"
If you must know, the fic is E-rated, and your deuteragonist is Izuku.
"Apparently you're in this shit with me", Katsuki relayed with a sigh. "And it said-"
They! God, I use they/them pronouns, damn it!
"Fine! They said it's E-rated. The fuck's that mean?"
Izuku promptly passed out.
"Oi! Oi, nerd! What the fuck!?" Katsuki half-shouted, a little distressed at the sudden turn of events, but nonetheless catching Izuku and preventing what could've led to a nasty concussion.
"Jesus christ..."
Poor Izuku. That must've been overwhelming.
"No shit!? Now explain why!"
Well, because you basically just told him he's in an explicit, erotic story with you.
Katsuki's eyes widened in shock, and the narrator could barely contain their laughter at his expense. They really did have a great sense of humor.
"What the fuck?"
Hm?
"What the fuck!? "
Yes...?
"What do you mean we're in an er-... erotic... WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Ah, but it wasn't time for him to find that out yet. He would simply have to wait...
"What the hell do you mean by that?"
"Hello?"
"HEY!"
"Oh, so now you go away, huh? Goddamn shithead... The hell do I do now?"