Chapter Text
We’ve all heard love is blind. We’ve all heard that all is fair in love and war. But how far is going too far? Where do you draw the line between doing something in love and going too far in love? I was clear about that morality. I was black and white. I was clear about the kind of relationship I wanted in my life, I wanted simple and uncomplicated. That is all I was ever ready for. And then he happened. All my morality, black and white judgments, everything blurred into what I felt around him and how he made me feel.
“We have to stop this Seb”
That is how the most painful conversation I had ever had started. That was well over half an hour ago. Currently, we were sitting face to face on the sofa with Sebastian’s hands intertwined with mine; he looked too afraid to let them go, like if he just held onto me somehow that this nightmare would just be over.
“Why are you doing this?” Sebastian asked, his eyes red from the tears and the lines on his forehead creasing further.
“Seb, you know why. We can’t keep doing this. It isn’t fair to anyone” I replied, sighing when he held my hands tighter.
“Please don’t” he started, his voice so broken and raw that I could feel the sadness spreading through my body like wildfire.
“I’m –“
“Please..”
“Then leave her. Stay here” I said.
A traitor tear made its way down my cheek. I knew fully well that he couldn’t just leave her. He loved her. She loved him. They fit each other so brilliantly that the first time I saw them together hurt my heart. I didn’t quite understand why I was ever a part of a story that was clearly meant to be theirs.
“I..I can’t you know I-“he started, only to be interrupted me leaning in for a last, quick kiss on his gorgeous pink lips.
“I know. But that’s exactly why this has to be done” I untangled our hands, lifted my bag from the countertop it was kept on, gathered my coat and headed for the door.
I exited and before closing the door behind me, I turned around to look at the man who was sitting on the sofa with tear stained cheeks like my own, looking so broken and yet so devastatingly beautiful. I tore my eyes away from him and looked around the living area that was the home to so many wonderful memories in such a short time. It was like trying to memorize everything about our time together, about the man I loved so deeply so that those memories could last me a lifetime.
Taking a final look at Sebastian, I shut the door and made my way to the elevator down the long corridor. It took a minute for the elevator doors to slide open, and I stepped inside pressing the button to take me to the ground floor. The doors closed, and I sank to the floor, sadness engulfing me and the tears that I had held back overpowering my will to not cry until I was home. I had done what was morally correct, no matter how much time it took for me to do it, but why then, did it feel so heart-wrenchingly painful? No one said doing the right thing was easy, but no one had ever prepared me for how painful it could be.