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Fifteen minutes. That was how long it would take for Dean to leave the bunker and pick up their two Meat Lovers pizzas and cheesy bread from Pizza Hut. So that was how long Cas had to practice. Sam was working out in the gym and always stayed down there for at least an hour.
He didn’t have a mirror in his room yet so Cas padded down the hall in his bare feet to the large shared bathroom. It had a big mirror in front of the pedestal sink that would be just perfect for what he had planned. He needed to see all the little details to make sure he did this just right.
Cas stepped over the pile of clothes strewn on white tiles. They were Dean’s. His stomach fluttered. How could cotton blends make a heart skip, especially an angel’s heart? Cas didn’t understand it, but he was tired of asking why. What he felt for Dean just was. It was unusual though to find his clothes like that. Dean was regularly really clean and organized but last night they’d all been dead exhausted. Dean had gotten the worst of the blood splatter, leading him to take a shower while both Cas and Sam slept. Somehow, he must’ve just forgotten his jeans, plaid-shirt and…boxers here. Cas had to shake his head to get that last thought out of his mind.
Standing in front the mirror, Cas inhaled deeply hoping all that extra oxygen would ground him. Probably a silly idea for an angel, but it was something he did often as a human and found it still helped even now. This was a big deal and Cas was determined to get it right.
Cas adjusted his tie; his ties had the tendency to get all twisted up, and he didn’t want to look like he hadn’t put in any effort when he finally did it. This was pretty much the most important thing Cas would ever do.
“Dean,” Cas said. His voice kind of cracked on the name as nerves danced in his stomach. “Dean,” he tried again. That was much better. Yes. “Dean, you’re uh special-“
Cas shook his head. Dean didn’t appreciate it when he took a long time to get to his point. Maybe he shouldn’t do that here, with something like this. When he needed more than anything, for Dean to hear him.
Clearing his throat again, trying to wet his nervous mouth with his tongue, Cas said, “Dean I love-“ he paused before he got all the way to you. I love you. It wouldn’t work. Dean knew Cas loved him. He assumed Cas loved him like Dean loved Sam, but it just wasn’t true. And though hiding it had seemed like a viable option to begin with, it just ended with a lump in his throat every time Dean would casually throw the word brother in his direction. Cas knew how much love the word ‘brother’ conveyed coming from Dean. There was no higher mantle he could have bestowed on Cas. Still, it wasn’t honest for Cas and the lying was tearing him up.
“Dean,” Cas tried again. “Dean- I, I’m in love with you,” he said confidently, to the mirror.
. . .
Dean had driven the Impala about three minutes down the road when he realized he’d forgotten his wallet somewhere in the bunker. He pulled a quick u-turn on the gravel road and sped back home. He needed the wallet fast. His stomach was growling, and Cas had to be hungry too. Being cut off from heaven meant Cas ate and slept just not as often as humans did.
One time, he and Cas had been watching House of Cards on Dean’s laptop on the bed Dean’s room. Cas had dozed off, head fallen forward, arms crossed across his chest. He was all curled up and kind of soft looking. In that moment, Dean could understand why Cas always wanted to watch him sleep. It was so peaceful.
Dean pulled up outside the bunker and hurried back inside. He’d been on his way to check the dresser in his room when he realized his wallet was most likely in the bathroom. He rushed down the hall and was about to push open the door when he heard through it, “Dean - I, I’m in love with you.”
. . .
Cas jumped when the door opened, startled. Quickly, he turned to see who was behind him and his stomach plummeted when he saw Dean standing feet from him with wide-confused eyes.
Shaking, Cas managed to ask, “How much did you hear?
Dean swallowed and just watched Cas for a moment. They both just kept looking, like they could fold each other inside out and see all the inner working of the other man. Nothing in his existence had been as intense as the moments like these with Dean.
“I heard enough,” Dean finally said.
Suddenly, Dean closed the distance between them. There was another short pause then Dean was crowding into Cas’s space and slotting their mouths together. Dean was kissing him. It was better than he ever imagined and that itself seemed impossible.
Dean pulled away just enough to lean their foreheads together. Cas couldn’t take the separation. He took over the kiss himself this time. They moved from the bathroom, to the hallway to the bedroom.
. . .
An hour later, Sam came up from the gym. He breathed deep but couldn’t smell the usual aroma of garlic sauce. “Hey guys, where’s the pizza?” Sam called out. No answers.
He searched the bunker for a bit and found nothing. Cas’s room was empty. He knocked on Dean’s door, but no one answered so Sam just pushed inside. A big smile stretched across his face.
Dean was curled up in Cas’s arms, his head on Cas’s bare chest. It looked like Dean was probably naked too - between his uncovered shoulders and the leg sticking out from under the sheets.
Sam was happy Dean and Cas figured it out; he was only marginally and reasonably upset that it had cost him a pizza. Well, two pizzas.