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Vi was used to nightmares.
She was used to the feeling of waking up in cold air, but feeling yourself burning inside. She was used to not falling asleep again. Used to spending hours with her eyes trained on the warm glow that spilled under the bedroom door.
She would listen to Powder breathing. Soft, and hitching just at the height of each inhalation. In. out. In again. Out again. Most nights that rhythm was enough to keep Vi in her bed. The glow was enough to keep her calm.
Tonight was different, just a little. She woke with a jolt, and felt her shirt sticking uncomfortably to her back with a cold sweat. Her ears rang, high pitched and shooting through her temples. Her breaths came quick and shallow, as though the air ran down her throat but never reached her lungs.
She couldn’t hear Powder’s breathing through the ringing. She knew, somewhere in her, that her sister was in the bunk beneath her. But she couldn’t bring herself to lean down and look, stilled by the fear of what could be there. The terror didn’t reach for her through shadows like usual–it already had her.
There was no glow under the door, no soft light to remind Vi of where she was. The darkness was so empty, so big. There could be anything there behind her, anything beneath her bed, anything beyond her door where the light was supposed to be.
Vi closed her eyes, and images flashed through her mind. Her mother, on the ground, her once loving gaze now boring into nothing. Blue eyes shifted into violet, inky hair flashing bright turquoise–and suddenly it was Powder. She lay there, splayed out, her face vacant and bloodied.
Vi felt her own breath catch, and she gasped. Tears streamed down her face, burning hot against her chilled skin. Sobs slipped out too quickly to leave room for breath, terror gripping tighter at her throat.
The ringing in her ears drowned out the sound of footsteps outside the door. She didn’t see it open, nor did she notice the light spreading slowly across the floor and illuminating the figure in the doorway.
But she heard her name, heard Vander’s voice saying it.
“Violet?” He called quietly, stepping into the room. She squeezed her eyes shut further, and shook her head urgently.
He sighed, and then his hand was resting softly against her back.
“You have a nightmare, hm?” Vander asked, voice soft so as not to wake Powder. Vi opened one eye just slightly to peek at him. He held a lantern slightly aloft, just enough for it to light up his face.
Enough for her to see him, to know that he was here. His eyes were soft with concern–not glazed over, not empty.
And suddenly she was lunging for him, her arms locking tightly around his neck, face buried in his shoulder.
He grunted softly, but reached his free hand up to hold her steady. It was nice, Vi thought for a moment, to fit in someone’s arms as easily as she did her father’s.
She hiccupped once, before dissolving into an explanation.
“It–it was dark, Vander, I couldn’t see! I couldn’t see Pow… I didn’t know where I was and I thought–”
“Shhh, you’re alright.” He cut her off quietly. He set the lantern down on the mattress and pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “Just in your room. Powder’s sleeping. She’s safe. You’re safe.”
Vi sniffled, reaching up to swipe at her face. “Why was the light out?” She asked, voice taking on a slight pout. She would’ve felt ridiculous most of the time. For acting this way. She was eight years old. Too old to be afraid of the dark.
“I always put it out around this time. You’re usually asleep is all.”
“I don’t… I don’t like it out.” She huffed, resting her head back on his shoulder. He didn’t laugh, like she thought he might. He just hummed.
“You know what? Neither do I.” He reached a hand up to ruffle her hair, and she pawed it away like always. He chuckled. “How about leave that one burning, then?”
Vi nodded solemnly. He stood there for a minute, quiet. Vi looked around the room from over his shoulder. It wasn’t so empty with the lantern– she could see Powder’s contraptions on the floor, could see the water stains on the ceiling. Her gloves discarded at the desk.
After a little while, he patted her back. “You wanna try and sleep again?” He murmered. Her eyes were drooping, and her limbs felt heavy again, like it would be too much just to hold herself up.
“Yeah.” she whispered. Vander nodded. He lifted her back into her bed, and she was vaguely aware of him pulling the blankets up over her shoulders again, wrapping her in the warmth of them.
“Leave the lights on, okay?” She said, softly, blinking up at him. He leaned down, and touched his forehead to hers once.
“Always.”