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I Know, I Know, I Know (The Situation's Strange)

Summary:

"And then Hector had an idea. It was obvious, really. He was the HVAC system. All he had to do was turn up the heat."

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Hector gets a bit hot and bothered thinking about the human up in the attic. He wonders what to do about it for a moment, and then opportunity falls right into his lap: Chance and Parker have come upstairs to play a game. Hector just has to crank the heat.

Notes:

I love Hector and his absolute freak behavior. Put me in the vent, I will match his freak, I promise. I use the words cunt and dick to describe his anatomy.

Title is from Stalker’s Tango by Autoheart.

Betaed by my spouse, as always.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Chance and Parker spent most of their free time in the attic, and when they weren’t, they were usually in the office or sometimes the living room, always playing some game or another, or occasionally watching something on Valdiviflix while they cuddled under one of the many blankets that Mateo always handed out like candy on Halloween.

When they had sex, though, it was always in the attic. Why, Hector wasn’t sure. Probably because it gave Chance some semblance of privacy, although if all that shit he was saying the other day about fucking Parker in front of everyone, clearly he knew better. Regardless, they had never so much as attempted to have sex in a different location, although they had certainly gotten horny in other locations. Hector could recall one night where they were watching some movie that had a surprise sex scene in it, and then next thing he knew, Chance was dragging Parker up to the attic after several minutes of Parker nibbling and licking Chance’s neck while whispering what Hector could only imagine was absolutely filthy things in his ear. The sex had been fast and dirty, and Parker had been loud.

Hector tried to give them privacy, he really did. It wasn’t his fault he was the HVAC system and there was a vent in every room. But if he was going to see them anyway then… Why not just cut the pretense and watch? Thankfully, the human seemed to be pretty understanding of the situation when he explained it, and perhaps seemed even a little into it, which had sent Hector’s face ablaze and made his cunt throb.

Speaking of which… The human had seemed especially receptive to his feelings today, enough so that Hector had really thought about showing them his face earlier. And even beyond that, the human had sauntered up to his vent in tight shorts and that amazing red shirt, smile devious when they spoke. Not only did they seem receptive, they looked hungry.

Hector’s dick throbbed at the thought, and he hissed quietly. A haze of desperate lust began to cloud his mind and he groaned. He thought about masturbating, but he struggled to do so without something in front of him to help. He debated finding the human or grabbing Grate Expectations but then the perfect opportunity fell into his lap.

The attic door opened to reveal Chance and Parker, excitedly chattering about something.

“Want to play Cream Capitalism?” Parker asked. Hector never understood how he could enjoy that game; he had seen Parker play it for days at a time, and that was for a single game. It took longer to play than Conopoly did.

But Chance just smiled and said, “Sure, Park.” Eager to please. Hector understood that.

Regardless, this would be easy. Board games were basically foreplay for the two of them, and games like Cream Capitalism resulted in them exchanging sexual favors more often than not. The only problem was how long the game took; who knew how long it would take for them to actually get their clothes off? On one hand, the idea of edging himself as the heat ramped up between the two of them sounded fun. A slow build over time as he watched them flirt back and forth until finally Parker offered something up to Chance and then the two of them were going at it on and off for however long the game took. But on the other hand, he really didn’t want to edge himself for 24 straight hours right now.

And then Hector had an idea. It was obvious, really. He was the HVAC system. All he had to do was turn up the heat.

He started out slow, carefully creeping up by a couple degrees. Parker was explaining the rules of the game for what had to be the fiftieth time as he set up, but Chance was looking at him like he was hanging the moon and stars as Parker moved about animatedly.

Eventually, Parker seemed to notice. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He sounded amused, if not a little embarrassed.

“You’re cute when you explain games,” Chance told him.

And Parker smiled, a teasing thing. “Oh?” He leaned forward a bit, closer to Chance. “Yeah?”

Chance nodded, leaning forward as well. “Yeah.”

Parker giggled. “Well, you’re pretty cute yourself. Especially when you explain G&G.”

Chance laughed at that, embarrassed. “Really?” 

“Obviously,” Parker said. He continued to set up the pieces, and then rubbed a bit at his forehead. Hector smiled. It was working.

They began to play, a slow process as they each went through the phases of their turns. Nearly half an hour had passed, and Hector was pretty sure they had each only gone once.

“Gods, is it getting hotter up here?” Chance asked. He began to shrug off his outer vest, dropping it next to him before rolling his sleeves up further.

“What, scared I’m going to beat you?” Parker asked. Then he paused and said, “Actually, you’re right.” He took off his own vest and hat, resting them next to himself. “Did the human ask Hector to crank the heat or something?”

Not quite, Hector thought with a small laugh.

“Who knows,” Chance said. “Anyway, it’s your turn.”

They continued like this, moving pieces around incomprehensibly as they continued to shed their layers in the slow building heat. Parker ended up ditching his shirt and Chance joked about him needing his bathing suit, but Hector could tell by the stutter in his voice that his mouth must have gone dry at the sight of Parker shirtless. Parker laughed though, and it didn’t take long for Chance to unbutton the top couple buttons of his shirt before eventually just abandoning it entirely. Chance was leaning back on his hands now and Hector could see how his sweat was glistening in the fluorescent lighting.

They continued to play, exchanging slow turns.

“Okay, it’s really hot in here,” Chance said. Hector smiled as he watched Chance start to shuck his pants. His smile widened when he saw the look on Parker’s face.

“Is it ‘cause it's hot or are you trying to distract me?” Parker asked.

Chance rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Why, is it working?”

“Maybe,” Parker said, extending his syllables.

“Oh yeah?” Chance said, a mischievous lilt to his voice. 

“Yeah,” Parker said, a dreamy look in his eye. And Hector’s heartrate kicked up when he added, “Want to distract me some more?”

“What about the game?” Chance asked, but he was already leaning closer to Parker.

Parker hummed. “I think we can take a break.”

And then Parker was climbing over the game, deftly avoiding every last card and piece, to get to Chance, who immediately accepted Parker into his lap, kissing him firmly. Hector quietly celebrated to himself before moving his hands down to his bottoms, shimmying himself out of them.

Chance hummed into the kiss before pulling away just enough to ask, “What do you want, handsome?” 

Parker sighed. “Let me ride you? Just like this?”

Chance let out a shuddering breath. “Yeah, Park. Whatever you want."

And then they were kissing again, hot and hungry. Hector’s cunt pulsed and he snaked a hand down under him, desperate for something inside him. He briefly wondered what it would be like to have the human fucking him and he shoved a whine back down his throat.

“Do you have the lube?” Chance asked.

Parker nodded. “I always have it.”

“Really? You want it that badly?” Chance asked with a laugh.

“Uh, duh,” Parker said, fishing the lube out of his pants. “I always want you.”

“Fuck, Parker,” Chance said. “Take your pants off.”

“Mmm, I love when you’re bossy,” Parker said, undoing his belt. “Want to make some rules for me to follow?”

Chance groaned. “Ask me again when I can think straight,” he said, and Parker laughed, loud and joyful.

“You got it,” Parker said, pulling his pants and underwear off in one fell swoop. “Want me to put on a show for you?” he asked, holding the lube in his hand.

Chance nodded. “Yeah.”

Parker smiled, devious, and then got down on his hands and knees so Chance got a good view of his ass. This inadvertently gave Hector a good view of his ass, and he shoved two fingers inside of himself, biting down a moan.

Parker poured lube on his fingers before teasing his own asshole, looking at Chance over his shoulder. He moaned wantonly as he also sunk two fingers in himself, pumping them in and out.

“Jesus, Parker,” Chance said. “You’re so hot.”

Parker smiled, eyes half-lidded as he pushed in a third finger. “Yeah?"

“Yeah,” Chance said. “Fuck, your fingers sink in so easily.”

Parker moaned, working himself faster. “You’ve ruined me, stretching me out like you have. I want it so bad. Please, Chance, fuck me.”

And then Chance was grabbing Parker, manhandling him back onto his lap.

“God, you’re strong,” Parker moaned. He reached down to Chance’s boxers. “I love when you put me where you want me.”

Chance’s dick sprung free, and Hector’s eyes widened when he saw the size of it. He wished he could have something that big inside of him right now, and he shoved three fingers into himself. He needed something bigger. He hoped the human had something bigger.

Parker sank himself onto Chance’s dick and moaned. He wrapped his arms around Chance’s neck and kissed him.

“You feel so good,” Parker said, slowly starting to rock his hips. “If I could have you inside me all the time I would.”

“Gods, I wish I could be inside you all the time,” Chance said. “You’re so hot and tight.”

“I’ve thought about being a cocksleeve for you,” Parker said. “When you’re GMing. Just sitting in your lap and squirming while you run your game.”

Chance moaned. “Fuck, Park. You can’t just say stuff like that.”

Parker began to bounce on Chance’s dick in earnest, hands resting on his shoulders for leverage. “It's true though. Seeing you be GM does things to me. You’re always so in control of everything.”

Hearing them talk dirty to each other was Hector’s favorite part of watching them. His dick throbbed as he worked himself harder, his other hand covering his mouth.

“Jesus, Parker.” Chance grabbed Parker’s ass and began to work him up and down his dick faster, making Parker moan louder.

“Yes, Chance, yes,” Parker chanted, panting hard. “Use me, fuck.”

Hector pumped his fingers hard. He was glad for how loud Parker was being given how the wet sounds of his own cunt reverberated on the metal walls of the vent.

“Fuck, Parker, you’re so beautiful,” Chance said. “Someday soon, I want you to ride me like this. Use me to chase your own pleasure.”

Parker whimpered, kissing Chance hard. “God, please, Chance, touch me.”

Chance reached down between the two of them and started stroking Parker, hand moving fast between them. Hector moved his own hand in tandem, his palm rubbing his own dick aggressively as he chased his orgasm.

“Yes, Chance, yes,” Parker said. “God, it's so good, you’re so good to me.”

And then Parker doubled over, burying his face in Chance’s neck as he came with a hoarse scream. He went limp in Chance’s arms, letting out small little overstimulated sounds as Chance continued to move him on his own dick before he crushed Parker close and came with a groan. 

Hector fucked himself hard and fast, biting down on his hand to stop the scream that threatened to rip itself from his throat as he squirted across the vent.

Chance held Parker in his arms as they both came down from their high, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

“How are you feeling?” Chance asked.

Parker let out a small, tired sound and Chance laughed. “Let’s get cleaned up and then we can keep playing if you want.”

Parker nodded, carefully lifting himself up to look at Chance. He was smiling, a dazed, fucked out thing. “Perfect."

The two met in a kiss again as Hector began to get his bearings back, slowly dropping the temperature back down.

Parker pulled back enough to look at Chance, nuzzling their noses together. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Park,” Chance said, running a hand through his paper hair. 

Hector’s heart ached watching them love each other so easily. He sighed.

He hoped he could have that one day.

Notes:

You can find me on Bluesky @mortimerdeadsea.bsky.social and on Tumblr as Mortimer-Dead-Sea.

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