Work Text:
Lost
Shen Wenlang frowns slightly as the scent reaches his nose. Omega. A distressed one at that. He should have known that there would be Omegas here, but he had hoped that Gao Tu was smart enough to make sure that his path wouldn’t cross any Omegas tonight. Where is Gao Tu, anyway, the Alpha wonders as he looks around the room. Usually, his assistant would rarely leave his sight, making sure that he was always available for whatever Shenlang might need. The Alpha could distinctly feel the Beta’s absence and he doesn’t like the feeling.
He excuses himself from the conversation and crosses over the room, in search of his assistant. He’s about to turn around when the scent reaches him again. Feeling his heart thud heavily, his mind getting foggy, he follows it blindly until it leads him to a storage room. With each step he takes he feels something boil beneath his skin. Anger, yes, but something else, too. Something Wenlang did not want to feel. Something he tried his best to avoid from ever happening.
Desire.
A primal need that overtakes his entire being.
Furious, Wenlang pushes the door open. He’s greeted by darkness and that scent and for a moment his senses are clouded so much that he almost misses the distressed Omega trying to run away from him. Almost.
“I don’t know who sent you,” he growls slowly, as his fingers wrap around a slim wrist, “but you should have known better than to make your presence known to me.”
“Please let me go,” the weak Omega whispers and Wenlang thinks that the voice sounds familiar, but he can’t place it. Not when all of his senses are being overwhelmed by his rut.
“It’s too late for that. You’re the idiot who thought that they could get in a room full of Alphas during their heat and leave untouched.”
He thinks he hears a low cry after that, but the Alpha's already lost to his rut.
All he remembers the next morning is the scent. It’s like it was drilled into his brain and no matter how many showers he takes, or who he meets, sage is the only thing Shen Wenlang can smell.
***
Almost a month after that night, the young Alpha enters his office, expecting to see his assistant waiting for him. Instead, he’s greeted by a new secretary, a young Beta woman, who looks at him nervously.
“Where is Gao Tu?” He asks slowly, already knowing that he would not like the answer.
“Assistant Gao submitted his resignation late last night. According to the front desk, he’s been gone for almost an hour by now.”
Shen Wenlang kicks his glass desk so hard that it breaks into a million pieces, making the young woman jump in surprise.
“Leave.” He yells, command clear in his voice. The moment the door to his office closes, his phone is in his hand.
“Sorry. The number you’ve dialed has been deactivated.”
Yelling, he sends his phone to the ground and runs out of his office. Less than five minutes later, he’s in his car, speeding towards that awful place Gao Tu lived in. When he finally reaches the building, he takes the steps two at a time. He doesn’t spare any time knocking on the door - instead, he kicks it open, almost ripping it out of its hinges.
He finds nothing but the faint scent of sage lingering in the air and it makes him freeze. It’s the same smell from a month ago. Did he… Did he sleep with Gao Tu’s Omega? Is that why he left?
As he looks around the tiny space, no traces left from his assistant, Shen Wenlang feels something break inside of him. He ignores it.
He continues to ignore the emptiness that grows inside of him for months after that.
***
“Is this Mr. Shen Wenlang?” The voice on the other side of the call asks as soon as the young Alpha answers the phone.
“Yes. Who are you?”
“This is doctor Li. Are you Gao Tu’s Alpha?” He almost drops the phone when hears the name. Gao Tu, Gao Tu… It’s been eight months since he heard anything about his assistant and just the name has him sit up in his chair, his back stiff as a board.
“Yes. Is he okay?”
“I… I think it’s best you come here as soon as you can.” He’s already on his feet, running towards the front door. He pays no attention to Hua Yong’s curious eyes, or Sheng Shaoyou’s frown. He knows he’s being too loud in his haste, loud enough to wake up the baby that is sleeping on the sofa, in between his parents, but he does not care.
“What has happened? What’s wrong with Gao Tu?” He asks as he sits in his car.
“There were complications during Mr. Gao Tu’s labor. We had to take him in for an emergency c-section. We…” The doctor pauses there, as if he’s aware of the absolute storm his words have caused in the young Alpha. “Mr. Shen, I will be honest - things do not look optimistic.”
Shen Wenlang rips through the city in his car, breaking multiple laws, but he does not care.
Complications during labor. Emergency c-section. Not optimistic.
How can any of these words be true? How can Gao Tu be in labor? He’s a Beta - Betas do not get pregnant. It’s impossible and yet he knows that the doctor was not lying to him.
When he finally reached the hospital he screams Gao Tu’s name until an elderly nurse approaches him. She says more words that make no sense to Wenlang.
Gao Tu is an Omega.
An Omega that has been hiding his status his whole life, stuffing himself full with suppressants.
Suppressants that have caused irreversible damage to his body.
The body, that was weakened even further by his apparent pregnancy.
It was his. Wenlang knows that Gao Tu was pregnant with his child. What would you do - Gao Tu had asked him, a couple of days before he had left - What would you do if you got an Omega pregnant?
I would have them abort it, he had said, like the asshole he is.
He looks towards the doors of the operating room, his heart beating thunderous in his chest.
Please, he begs. Please, Gao Tu. Please come back to me.
The nurse hands him a piece of paper. Apparently, Gao Tu had handed it off to the doctors, along with Wenlang’s business card, instructing them to reach out should anything happen to him.
“I am sorry. I am so sorry, Shen Wenlang. I only did it because I love you. I know that it was a mistake, and that it probably didn’t mean anything to you, but it was everything to me.
I have loved you for the last ten years, Shen Wenlang. I thought that I could move on, but I should have known that it was impossible.
Please take care of our child. Let him teach you kindness. Let him teach you how to love again. Let him be your happiness. If not for him, then for me.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Goodbye.”
Gao Tu doesn’t make it. His heart stops beating in the middle of the surgery and the doctors try their best to save him. Their son doesn’t even get to take his first breath.
They’re both gone and it's Shen Wenlang’s fault.
It’s all his fault.
***
“You’re being stupid.” Hua Yong hisses at him.
Wenlang doesn’t even look at him. Instead, he reaches for his glass and downs the drink in one go. He signals the bartender for a refill and frowns when Hua Yong makes the young Beta go away. He opens his mouth to say something else but the Alpha looks menacingly at him.
“What if it was Sheng Shaoyou? What would you have done if you had lost him and Peanut and it was your fault?” Hua Yong doesn’t say anything to that but Shen Wenlang sees the understanding in his eyes. He also sees pity. He doesn’t want it. He doesn’t deserve it. “They are gone. They are gone and they are never coming back, and it’s my fucking fault.” He whispers as he gets up from his seat. The room spins a little, but he doesn’t care.
He thinks he can hear Hua Yong call after him, concern in his voice, but it doesn’t matter anymore.
Nothing matters anymore.
He dismisses his driver and rips the keys out of his fingers, slamming the door as he sits behind the wheel. He shouldn’t be driving, not when he’d been in the bar for the last few hours, but Shen Wenlang is not really thinking. He takes off into the night, driving without a clear destination.
The last thing on his mind before the car flies off of a bridge is Gao Tu. As the car dives straight for the water, Shen Wenlang closes his eyes and smiles as the tears stream down his face.
Please let me be with him once again. Please give me the chance to make it right.
Found
When Shen Wenlang opens his eyes again, he doesn’t believe that it’s real. He thinks he’s dreaming as he takes in his surroundings, painfully familiar. He has had this dream before - in fact, it was his most recurrent nightmare.
He’s back in that room, all those nights ago. He goes through the motions as he always does - he participates in the same conversations, until he catches that faint smell of sage. He excuses himself, just like he did back then, and follows the scent to the now familiar storage room.
He opens the door gently, but instead of seeing Gao Tu lying dead on an operating table, as he usually does, he is greeted by darkness. The smell that greets him is different too - it’s not this awful stench of antiseptics and blood and death. No, it’s strong and rich and so… alive. He takes a shaky breath before he calls out Gao Tu’s name. The whimper that answers makes him freeze.
“Gao Tu?” He says again and almost misses the Omega running past him, but, just as before, he manages to snag him close. The Omega feels so warm and alive and Shen Wenlang starts praying that he doesn’t wake up from this dream.
“Let me go.” Gao Tu whispers and tries so hard to get away from him. Wenlang can feel him shaking, and it’s due to his heat, yes, but also fear. Gao Tu is afraid of him.
The Alpha can’t blame him. Not with all the horrible things he had said about Omegas before. Gently, he cups Gao Tu’s face and makes the younger man look up at him.
“Hi, baobei,” he whispers with a gentle smile and almost laughs when Gao Tu looks at him so confused. “Let me help you.”
“You… You hate Omegas.”
“But I love you.”
And it's true. He loves him so much. Gao Tu must believe him, because Wenlang can feel him relax.
He leads Gao Tu out of the storage room into a brightly lit hotel room. He is gentle the whole time, making the Omega cry with how good he makes him feel. Shen Wenlang is grateful that this dream turned out that way. That at least once he gets to feel happy.
***
When next he opens his eyes, he expects to see the boring white ceiling of his bedroom. Instead, he sees an intricate chandelier, one that he has never seen before. But that’s not what wakes him up completely. It’s the warmth he feels on his left, the shallow breaths he hears, and the smell of sage that seems to be permanently stuck on him. Carefully, he turns his head around and feels tears immediately fill up his eyes.
Gao Tu. Alive and well. Sleeping right next to him.
He doesn’t mean to wake him up but he has to make sure that this is real. Gently, he lets his fingers trace the sharp lines of the Omega’s torso, moving them slowly upwards. By the time he reaches his face, Gao Tu is awake and is looking at him with… fear in his eyes, yes, but also… hope.
“Good morning, baobei,” Wenlang whispers and feels warmth spread through his veins when he sees the redness that covers Gao Tu’s cheeks.
“Since when am I your treasure?”
“You have always been my treasure.”
***
Somehow, things work out. Gao Tu believes him, believes his feelings and agrees to be with him. They move in together a month after that night in the hotel, spending as much time together as they possibly can. Shen Wenlang says it’s because he has to catch up for the last ten years, but there’s something else as well. He knows that Gao Tu can sense it, but the Omega doesn’t question him about it.
He’s there the first time Gao Tu feels a wave of nausea at the smell of breakfast. He insists on them taking the morning off, and accompanies him to the doctor’s. Wenlang knows, of course, that his Omega is already pregnant. He wishes he could say that happiness is the only thing he feels, but he would be lying. He’s horrified.
That night, when they finally go to bed, Shen Wenlang has trouble falling asleep. When he finally does, it’s that nightmare from before. He doesn’t realize it, but he keeps repeating the Omega’s name in his sleep over and over again until he’s screaming it at the top of his lungs.
One moment he’s looking at Gao Tu’s lifeless body, the next he is being shaken by a trembling hand. Immediately, he pulls the frightened Omega in his arms and he starts apologizing.
“It’s okay,” that beloved voice says, and there are hands running up and down his back, bringing him comfort he has never known before. “It’s okay, Wenlang, I am here. I am not going anywhere.”
No, Shen Wenlang thinks, you are not.
***
Shen Wenlang starts losing his mind right after Gao Tu feels the first contraction. Somehow, he manages to get them to the hospital safe and sound, despite his skyrocketing anxiety. When Gao Tu disappears behind the delivery room’s doors, his face twisted in pain, Shen Wenlang drops on the floor, his back against the wall and he starts praying.
That’s how Hua Yong and Sheng Shaoyou find him, thirty minutes later. The two couples had grown closer in the last few months, with all the misunderstandings and secrets cleared between them. It helped that Shaoyou and Gao Tu were pregnant at the same time, even if Shaoyou was further along. When Peanut was born, Shen Wenlang couldn’t help but bask in his Omega’s happiness for the other couple. But he himself still wasn’t fully happy. He couldn’t allow himself to be, not until Gao Tu gave birth.
“He will be okay,” Hua Yong says quietly as he kneels beside the Alpha.
“You don’t know that,” is all Shen Wenlang says before he closes his eyes.
Ninety minutes. Ninety agonizing minutes later the doctor finally walks out of the room.
“Congratulations, Mr. Shen! You have a beautiful, healthy son!”
“What about Gao Tu? How is my Omega?” He asks with a shaky voice.
“Mr. Gao Tu did brilliantly! You will be able to see him in a few minutes.”
They’re alive. His baobei is alive. Their son is alive. They are still here.
Shen Wenlang breaks into happy tears as he collapses back to the floor.
***
Shen Wenlang sits behind his desk, pretending to look over some documents. What he's actually doing is watching Shen Lele through his home office's window. Lele is happily running around the garden, chasing butterflies and exhausting his nannies. He can’t believe his son is three years old already. He can’t believe that he’s here, after everything.
The smell of sage makes him turn towards the door, his lips stretched in a warm smile. Gao Tu walks in, and the Alpha can feel that he is nervous.
“What is it, baobei?” He asks and tries to get to the Omega, but the younger man just runs towards him. They almost topple over as Gao Tu sits in his Alpha’s lap, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Shen Wenlang’s hands end up around the Omega’s waist and he opens his mouth to ask his question again, when Gao Tu pulls back. Wenlang keeps his eyes on his Omega, curiosity and anxiety going higher and higher. Then he sees it. A plastic stick in his Omega’s arms. Two pink lines. Again.
This time, Shen Wenlang is ecstatic. This time he laughs loudly, lifts Gao Tu and spins him around the room. This time, he lets himself be happy.
“I love you so much,” the Omega whispers and Shen Wenlang kisses him gently.
“I love you, too.” He whispers against Gao Tu’s lips. “Thank you, baobei. Thank you for loving me, thank you for forgiving me, thank you for everything.”
A moment later they are interrupted when the little storm named Shen Lele runs into the room.
Shen Wenlang doesn’t mind the interruption.
Shen Wenlang is finally content.