Work Text:
Ingos been missing for two months. It feels deliberatering to even get out of bed. A weight on my chest still hangs there even when all the Pokemon are off of his bed. If my smile could fade it would be gone.
Work seems like a foreign concept right now. I can barely get out of bed. Let alone care for myself or our pokemon. Going and making sure masses of people are okay. I just cant do it. This has to be the worse week.
The first two weeks I could get up and go to work, third week I started to slow. The police told me there was nothing they can do. They were always useless anyways. Said he was missing and presumed dead. Useless. Fourth week it hit me and I went into work sporadically as Elesa moved into our guest room. The lost of Ingo hitting her just as hard.
Eight weeks in and Ive barely walked a couple steps. Just rotting away and Im sure Elesa isnt much better. She feeds the pokemon and comes back into the room and sleeps on my bed unless shes out getting her next fix.
Her gym has been closed for a week and Im not sure when it'll open again. At least the subway stays running with my depot agnets helping out. Speaking of Elesa. I sit up and looking around. It hurt just to do that. My limbs are so heavy and sore.
Shes not in my bed. But the pokemon are laying around our room and seem feed and content. Normally Elesa tells me when shes leaving. Maybe something happened.
I push myself up to stand. Chandlure helps steady me. My legs are in agony. The pain from the cuts that litter my legs and arms are pretty telling on why. The blood stained floor is also telling. I need to stop soon. Its unhealthy.
Well a lot of this is unhealthy. But I should probably move to the bathroom because soon ill have to replace the carpet. Walking out of the room, pushing through the soreness I looked downstairs
"Elesa?" My throat was sore and my body ached. The ache never went away
"In the kitchen...though we should also eat something that isnt one microwaved Ramen between the two of us"
Ah...yes eating. Thats also probably why I feels actually trashed. Besides the blood lost and shitty patch up jobs me and Elesa do and barely moving around.
I carefully takes steps down the stairs holding onto the railing and with Chandlure helping me. She was such a good pokemon.
I sit on the couch running my hands over my arms, feeling the bumps of the scabs and fighting the urge to pick at them and itch them. Having to itch after every sesh is annoying. Because you cant itch them or they will bleed again.
I sigh as Elesa brings two plates over and sits with me. We both ignore the trash thats surrounds the living room. Take out and used Ramen cups litter the living room along with dull blades and used needles.
They need to clean. I grab the toast. Thats all that Elesa made which was more then I expected.
I didnt eat it yet I just stared.
"Ingo would be disappointed in us"
Elesa looked over, I expect a wide eye look; like she never thought about that. But all I got was a guilty one. Like she knew. We both did.
"Yeah...but hes not here. When he does get back we'll clean up. The house and our acts"
All I could do is nod before I ate my toast in silence.
"Im gonna head out Emmet. Ill be back in a bit"
"To work?"
"No, a deal. Im out already"
I just nodded "Stop by a shop and get more razors and more Ramen. I am sure we are out. Some snacks wouldnt kill us."
Im sure if anyone took a closer look at either one of us, they'd force us to eat 3 huge meals just to gain back to a healthy weight.
I wasnt like Elesa who has a disorder. I just cant bother myself to get up and cook. Not right now. And I'm not hungry enough to eat a cup alone and neither is Elesa.
God we are messes.
Elesa already left and I debated making my way back upstairs but I just couldnt do it. My body aching never stopped.
I found the TV remote under the trash and I turned on a random show and just zoned out.
Maybe I'd be in better shape if I went to work. Maybe if I could somehow manage to get myself there Id be okay.
Id get out of this slump where my body aches and where I cant eat anything and be a person again.
Being a person without Ingo sounds terrible too.
The only reason I believe Im alive is Chandlure and her warm glass pressing aganist me and her fire heating my face.
I think I understand why Ingo likes her so much. She is verrry warm.
I didnt know how long me and Chandlure sat there when Elesa came through the door with bags of food and other items she probably thought of
"Gonna help me Emmet or just stare?"
I stood up walking forward and grabbing half of the bags. I walked towards the kitchen and placed the bags down as Elesa did the same.
My legs still ached but they weren't shaking. Which was good.
"Which one has my blades?"
"I dont know, look around they are with medical supplies. I got extra food and I got beer too"
"I am Emmet. I do not like beer"
"More for me then."
We both looked through the bags, placing the human and pokemon food where they belong.
At least the pantry and fridge dont look so pitiful anymore.
I grabbed the bag with my supplies and sat back on the couch
"What do you want to watch Elesa"
"I dont care, Im gonna be out of it pretty soon"
Reasonable statement.
I watched as Elesa get her dope ready. Before Ingos disappearance, me and Ingo helped her get clean and stay clean.
I should have helped her get a better coping mechanism but when I just as easily fell back into self harm after Ingo dissappearance I didnt have a leg to stand on.
Im just worried shes getting it safely. My stomach ties itself in knots thinking she'd overdose one day.
I watched as she got her veins ready and injected it. Easily collapsing back fully onto the couch. The needle dropped to the floor as I watch her deal with the rush before the mellowing.
"Do you need water"
"No I have beer right here"
"That would fix the dry feeling in your mouth Elesa"
"How do you know about that?"
"I looked it up awhile back"
"Ill be fine Emmet. Go do your thing"
I stared at my lower arms, all fresh cuts and same with my legs. Even if I cut my legs a couple days ago.
Im running out of skin open skin.
I roll my sleeves over my shoulders and I grab one of the new blades. I grimace at the the pain as I cut new scars into my skin.
The blood runs down my arm and I'm too lazy to clean just this small amount so I will not be making huge gashes into my shoulders like how I did for my legs.
I make around 20 smallish cut into my shoulder before grabbing the clean up kit Elesa got me.
Cleaning and disinfecting the cuts went pretty easy. Paper towel with rubbing alcohol works wonders. I grab the roll of bandages and start wrapping my shoulder.
That takes a minute. Luckly though I didnt need Elesas help. As she is currently out of it. Her eyes have that glossy other worldly look.
I decide I dont want to cut my shoulder as I push myself back onto the couch and press my head aganist her lungs.
Breathing slows down to an dangerous amount whenever you take drugs like this. So I make sure I can hear her breathing.
I stay there just listening to Elesas breathing. I wonder how Ingo is doing