Chapter Text
They’ve lived in NC since Anya was 2. They used to live in California but money was tight at the time with a baby and another on the way so they thought NC would be cheaper. Before Lexa was born her parents, Indra and Gustus, thought she was a boy. If they would’ve known she wasn’t they wouldn’t have moved to NC. Lexa is intersex and lived in a not so accepting state. Indra and Gustus both got 2 jobs when Lexa was first made fun of. They wanted to get the money as fast as they could so Lexa wouldn’t have to deal with the hatred but it didn’t happen how they would’ve liked.
As Lexa grew up it became more and more important for her to be able to protect herself. Gustus signed her and Anya up for self defense classes at a young age. They were so young they could try many different types of self defense to find the one they liked the most. They tried about everything they could pay for and luckily they both liked MMA. It was something they bonded over for many years. At that age Lexa thought it was fun and she didn’t think she would ever need to use what she learned in real life. That was until she went to middle school.
Anya is 2 years older than her so it was nice to have an 8th grader have your back in 6th grade but after that Lexa was on her own. In 6th grade Anya would take care of the bullies so when she left for high school everybody thought Lexa was vulnerable without her. She had to break a few noses on her own before anybody would take her seriously.
As much as Lexa tried it was inevitable. People would find out sooner or later. As soon as one person knew the whole school would know in a matter of days. She was glad to have Anya there when everybody first found out. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be but it got worst as she got older. In 6th grade they were still kids that didn’t know much but in 8th grade everybody seemed to have their own opinions and many didn’t like her. Except Costia. Costia was the only real friend Lexa had. They got sat next to each other in math and Costia helped Lexa with percentages and the rest was history. Costia knew about Lexa’s appendage and was ok with it. They were best friends but something inside of Lexa got all warm and fuzzy around her. She just thought that’s how you feel around friends.
“Lexa it is so easy come on just focus.” Costia said to a frustrated Lexa
“I don’t even know why I have to learn this stuff. I won’t use it.” Costia rolled her eyes and pointed at the next problem in the textbook.
“How about we do one more then we take a break.”
“Ok fine.”
“Great now what is 50% of 40?”
“Hold on let me write it out.” Lexa grabbed her notebook and began to scribble down equations. She kept erasing and rewriting her work until she finally let Costia show her how to do it. Lexa was as stubborn as she was grateful because she was bad at math and Costia was the only person who could have it make sense. The only problem with Costia was that her cousin Nia hated her.
Ever since Nia found out about Lexa being intersex she hated her. She hated that Lexa was friends with her cousin. She tried to get Lexa expelled by saying Lexa wouldn’t stop staring at her when she was changing but the locker room supervisor told the principal it wasn’t true. Nia got suspended for 3 days because she accused Lexa and since then Nia was out for blood and blood is what Nia got.
In 8th grade Lexa was changing out of her pe clothes in the girls locker room. She had her back turned and heard voices behind her but at this point she was used to it. She tried to ignore them when all of the sudden she felt a hand on the back of her neck and then her head was slammed against the locker door. She fell to her knees and was trying to stand up when her attacker kicked her in the balls. She was laying on the floor in fetal position when she felt a kick to her ribs.
“Stay away from my cousin or next time you won’t be breathing.” She heard her attacker yell. She recognised that voice. It was Nia. That’s all Lexa remembered. Looking up and seeing Nia and her friends laughing at her before it all went black. The locker room supervisor came out of her office to find a bleeding and unconscious Lexa laying on the floor.
Lexa woke up in the hospital the next day to find her sister by her side. She tried to get up and cried out in pain which caught Anya’s attention.
“Mom Lexa’s awake!” Anya yelled out of the room to their mother who was talking to the doctor. “Hey Lex how do you feel?” Anya asked but she already knew the answer.
“Like I just got beat up.” Anya let out a nervous laugh that was cut off by the doctor and Indra entering the room. Indra took a seat next to Lexa and held her hand waiting for the doctor to talk.
“Goodmorning Lexa how are you feeling?” The doctor asked as he did some routine tests on her.
“I hurt. Can I get more morphine?”
“I can see if we could get you more pain meds but for now I’m here to tell you the damage of the incident. You have a broken nose and a few broken ribs which is why you’re in so much pain. You passed out because of how hard your head was hit but there’s no brain damage so that’s good.” Indra squeezed her hand and the doctor took a deep breath.
“Ok but why do you guys still look nervous?” Lexa asked a little on edge.
“I’m sorry to tell you this but the damage you sustained to your testes left you infertil.”
“So I can’t have kids?”
“It is very unlikely. I am very sorry.” With that the doctor left the room to give them some space.
“I called your dad to tell him everything and he’s on his way right now. I’m so sorry baby.”
“How did this even happen Lexa?” Anya asked because she couldn’t imagine Lexa not fighting back.
“I had my back turned. Nia slammed my head into a locker and I fell to the ground. I couldn’t get up. I kept trying but I kept falling back down. Then she kept kicking me until I passed out. That’s all I remember.” Every word Lexa spoke she could see Anya nostrils flare more and more. Anya was so mad.
“I’m going to kill that bitch I swear to.” She was cut off by Indra.
“You aren’t going to kill anybody. You aren’t going to see her again.” Both Lexa and Anya looked at her with questioning faces. “We’re moving back to California. I already talked to your dad about it.”
“But how? We have no money.” Lexa asked.
“We’ll figure it out.” Indra gave them both a reassuring smile but they know the worries that hide behind it. They weren’t in any financial position to move across the country right now.
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Lexa knew she couldn’t tell Costia in person that she’s moving for 2 reasons. 1) talking to Costia is what got her into this situation and 2) she wouldn’t be able to lie to her face about why she’s leaving. Lexa decides to text her because how else was she suppose to tell her.
Lexa: I am so sorry.
Costia: Why haven’t you been at school? What did you do?
Lexa: I’m moving to California
Costia: When?
Lexa: The plane leaves in an hour
Costia: What the fuck Lex????? You’re not coming to say bye??
Lexa: I’m sorry
Costia: Seriously?? I was your friend when nobody wanted you and this is the thanks I get
Lexa: I hope you understand
Costia: Fuck you Lexa. We were best friends. How can you just up and leave me like this??
Lexa: I don’t want to
Costia: You made the choice to not see me. How could you do that?? After all this time you’re just going to leave me without any notice
Costia: Nia was right about you.
Lexa: What did Nia tell you?
Costia: That you’re a coward
Lexa: Goodbye Costia
Costia: Fuck you Lexa
Lexa knew she wouldn’t take it well but she never knew she would be so mad. Reading those words hurt a lot. She wasn’t surprised that Costia was mad but reading that made her heart sink into her stomach. She couldn’t cry. Not right now. They were about to get on a plane to a better life but all Lexa can think about was crying. She thought she was sad because they’re never coming back but she didn’t know why. She hated everything about NC. She needs some space.
“I need some air.” Lexa is walking to the airport parking lot. She starts running. Maybe she can run away from her problems. That thought was short lived when she hears Anya running after her. She stops and sits on the bench. Anya sits next to her when she catches up. She sits and notices Lexa’s glossy eyes.
“Hey you ok?” Anya asks putting her arm around her shoulder pulling her into her body. Lexa can’t take it anymore. She starts balling her eyes out into her sister’s shoulder mumbling. “Lex I can’t hear you. What are you saying?” Lexa leans out of Anya’s arms and looks at her. All puffy eyed.
“I love her.” Lexa says and instantly starts crying again falling into Anya’s shoulder again. “I love her and she hates me. She doesn’t know what happened.” She’s barely audible through her crying but Anya hears her.
“I know you did Lex. You’ll make new friends in California.”
“No Anya. I love her.” Lexa backs away again to meet her sister’s gaze. She just admitted her love for her best friend but it’s too late. Anya looks just as surprised as Lexa does. Anya feels guilty. Seeing her baby sister this sad when she could’ve saved her this heart break. She wasn’t there when Lexa needed her the most.
“Come here. This is my fault. I’m so sorry.” Anya chokes out. Seeing Lexa this sad makes her feel worse.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yes it is. I could’ve saved you.”
“How were you gonna save me? It was during school. It’s my fault I had my back turned.”
“Still. I’m sorry.”
“We should go find mom and dad.” Lexa gets up and walks back into the airport looking for her parents because their flight boards soon.
“There you guys are. Hurry up and grab your bags the flight boards in 10 minutes.” Gustus yells across the airport. Lexa doesn’t saying a word to anybody the whole flight. She too caught up in her thoughts and emotions to hold a normal conversation. At that moment Lexa decided to shut everybody out. Nobody could hurt you if nobody knows your weaknesses right? And Lexa’s weakness was her heart.