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Of course Grantaire had to show up at exactly 3:49pm on a Tuesday night when Enjolras had just started his half hour long mascara routine that physically pained him to acknowledge the existence of. Grantaire was definitely not supposed to show up here unannounced, at least not when enjolras was smack dab in the middle of his rather extensive beauty routine.
“Enjolras how much did you spend on that?” Grantaire asked in the most deadpan voice he could possibly muster, trying his absolute very best not to crack up. Enjolras blushed. Or maybe that was just his Dior palette he’d spent about seventy-five euros on a couple weeks ago.
“I mean, to be fair, the government spends like, a billion euros a year on really really useless shit that doesn’t end up doing anything, and I mean, it’s not like I’m blowing twenty million on a yacht every summer instead of funding-”
“Enjolras.”
“Like the mascara or my collection?”
“Collection? The fuck?”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck.”
“Hm… you know, what i spend on makeup every year is hardly a fraction of what the common politician blows on their affair partners-”
“Enjolras I asked you a question.”
“-and I usually spend money on actually useful things like uh… like Spotify premium?”
“Enjolras?”
“Fine, the mascara was 40.”
“What the fuck Enjolras.”
“Listen, these-” He gestured to his eyelashes, which were in fact, incredibly long and thick and gorgeous, and Grantaire totally didn’t fall absolutely in love with them the first time they met. “-are worth the money.”
“Mascara does not cost that much unless you buy like, the most expensive shit on the market. And I would know. Éponine was my roommate for six months.”
“Well the expensive stuff maintains your keratin bonds on your lashes better.”
“Enjolras what the fuck?”
“It’s just uh, it’s a thing y’know?”
“Enjolras how much is your collection?”
“Definitely not as much as Donald Trump spends on shitty spray tans?”
“Enjolras that is not a number.”
“Fine. Okay. So this year, I spent around five hundred on eyelashes. You know, for mascara, which comes in many different colours, but also serums and stuff! I have an eyelash curler as well, but that was pretty cheap. And then the blushes. I mean, each palette is around thirty to fifty? It depends. Blush can be tricky as well because most brands prioritise lighter skin tones. I didn’t buy many new palettes this year. I think it’s just the one I’m using right now, so ‘round fifty? Then for foundation, I just bought a really really cool new one which goes on so thin, and feels really natural on your skin which was pretty expensive. I dunno, round two hundred? Two fifty bucks? Worth it though. I mostly spend on highlighters and eye makeup. I’ve definitely gone way over seven thousand for eyeshadows. I usually just buy one of every new item that drops, and a few of my regular palettes. I hate regretting not having anything, you know? Like it pisses me off!”
“Enjolras it’s March. You’ve spent like, almost eight thousand fucking euros at Sephora.”
“Listen, I like it. It’s the only thing I spend on.”
“Okay, uh… Fine. Fine I guess. You do you. I don’t really know what to say to that.
“Anyways. Why are you here?”
“Dunno, just felt like coming over?”
“Fair.”
“Fair.”
“Though seriously? Eight thousand on eyeshadow?” Grantaire still looks mildly flabbergasted. “No, like I seriously would have bought a car.”
“Firstly, cars aren’t that cheap. Secondly, it wasn’t just on eyeshadow. Thirdly, do cars make your cheeks look like those on statues of Antinous? I think not.” Enjolras batted-fucking batted-his eyelashes at Grantaire.
Grantaire pulled Enjolras into a kiss, before resting his forehead against Enjolras’s. “You’re hot when you’re like this, you know?”
“I know. Mac highlighter does the work.”