Chapter Text
Michelle had been bothering Sam for months on end to let her on Jet Lag. She was absolutely ecstatic when he finally relented.
Until Adam made a joke about her being the second ever woman on Jet Lag, and suddenly Michelle was freaking out about it a little.
Being a woman in general wasn’t easy.
Being a woman of color was even harder.
Being a woman of color who was a content creator came with it an insane amount of hoops to jump through and baggage to juggle; microlabels and hate comments and weird online fetishism from incels on Twitter you pray you’ll never meet.
Michelle took it in stride; her time at Buzzfeed had hardened her to the point stuff like that didn’t really phase her anymore. And it wasn’t that she was worried about the Jet Lag audience… They were certainly insane, but so was she, and most of them were very kind, if extremely enthusiastic.
No, what Michelle was worried about was Toby Hendy.
She didn’t know her all that well; they’d had maybe… one online interaction at this point?
Michelle had done a complete binge of her YouTube channel after watching her on Jet Lag, she’d enjoyed her season that much, and left a comment under an Instagram post that Toby had liked and replied back to, very sweet.
But the thing about being a female creator, especially in a male space? Some women did not like to share.
Michelle was all too familiar with fellow YouTubers seeming like nothing but sweetness online, but in person getting very standoffish and passive aggressive. It was a nature of the beast she was certain no man had ever had to deal with.
She just didn’t want Toby to think she was trying to step on toes or take her place. If anything, Michelle was really sort of hoping they’d end up friends.
Toby was so intelligent and well spoken; funny, witty, and disarmingly pretty. YouTubers weren’t any more immune to parasocial obsession than anyone else, and Michelle was learning that first hand.
One early evening about four months out from filming, Michelle stressed over potential DMs. Should she even say anything? She wanted to! How should she say it? Where should she send it? Was social media too casual? Was a business email too stuffy?
She typed and deleted and typed again in her notes app, until eventually she gave up and opened Instagram directly.
Hi Toby, this is Michelle! I just wanted to tell you I’m gonna be on the next season of Jet Lag. We’re still working out the details right now but I’m so excited to be following in your footsteps!
Michelle had begun to type out a second paragraph but Toby beat her to it.
Toby, who had been in the middle of writing during a mid-day work session, stared at her phone notification with a surreal sense of nervous excitement. She knew a lot about Michelle in all ways except personal.
She was one of Sam’s friends; energetic, athletic, drop-dead-gorgeous, and on the rare occasion slightly too content-pilled for her own good. She had followed Toby a while back and always liked her posts.
Michelle seemed very nice, even if Toby thought she was entirely unapproachable and was too shy to do anything more than follow back.
But maybe she wasn’t? Maybe Michelle Khare was actually a real person and not some incredible demigod Buzzfeed stole off Mt. Olympus one day.
Her nerves buzzed as she hastily sent a message back.
Congratulations! I am so glad I’m not alone anymore! It took them far too long to get another girl on, but I’m excited it’s you. I cannot wait to see your season; do you know where you’re going yet?? Tell me everything!
Michelle wondered why she was ever even worried.
They spent the next hour and a half chatting, Toby giving her the best advice she could during the game design process and telling her what she’d learned to best handle the boys when they got a little too enthusiastically pushy.
Michelle eventually sent her a phone number so they wouldn’t have to talk through DMs, and they ended up texting casually about work and other life stuff for another hour until Toby, with profuse apologies, told her she had to get back to working on her writing project.
Haha, sorry for distracting you!
You’ll have to tell me about it
when you have the time 😯📝
No need to apologize!
I needed a break anyway :)
Thanks for reaching out,
it was nice! Let’s talk soon!!
Toby turned off her phone, but still struggled to lock back in to writing about multi-dimensionality.
Michelle seemed too good to be true. How could someone like her be so…genuine? Toby had met people similar before, and all of them had a mean-spirited ego and a deep vanity they carried around like a fancy purse. Michelle had none of that. It was unheard of, especially in their line of work.
As far as friends went, Sam had pretty good judgment in finding people to make stuff with… So Toby supposed Michelle had to be the real deal. She gave a small, bashful smile to absolutely nobody but herself at the thought of someone like Michelle Khare texting her and got back to her writing.
Halfway across the world, Michelle kicked her feet on her couch and squealed. It had gone so much better than she hoped. Now more than ever, she was excited to play Jet Lag.
ᯓ ✈︎
They had been texting one another pretty frequently as the date to film Michelle’s season approached.
Toby had been especially vocal on the few promotional posts Nebula and the boys themselves had been making leading up to filming, which Michelle had found charming.
The night before her flight, Toby had called her.
“You’re off to the skies tomorrow, yeah?”
”Over hill and dale, some might even say.” She knew it was an awful joke, frankly barely even a joke. But she still felt a resounding sense of pride for having made Toby laugh anyway.
“I just wanted to call you to wish you safe travels.” She paused. “And, you know, be yourself and have fun and let me know how it all goes, and all that. But mostly safe travels.”
”Aye aye, Captain.” Michelle did a little two finger salute, despite the fact she was alone in her apartment and Toby couldn’t even see her. “Talk soon.”
They bade each other farewell—goodnight and good afternoon respectively—and ended the call.
Toby was nervous for her.
Not that she wouldn’t do well; Michelle had enough charisma and screen presence for her and Sam combined, and she would have no trouble at all holding her own against the boys.
…Moreso just knowing it was a great big world out there; there would be so much out of her control, and if she didn’t ultimately win she would probably be more upset than it was worth.
Toby had gotten to know Michelle well enough to know she was tough on herself if she didn’t think she tried as hard as she possibly could have.
Luckily the lithe blonde didn’t need to wait very long to hear from Michelle. A few hours into her first day, Toby got her first of many cheeky texts during filming:
It’s cold as snowballs
up here, oh my god 🥶🫥❄️
Sending you all my Southern
Hemisphere warmth. I do NOT need it.
Did you get it???
I did, thank you.
I feel much better now. 🌞🔥
And then one during the first rest period:
Is it normal to want to
strangle Ben and Adam?
Very. It means you’re doing well :)
And another during filming where Michelle was far from sober:
tobyyyytyyyy
Hi Michelle
im literallyy on jet lag rn
I know, haha!!
Make sure you drink a good
amount of water today, okay?
🫡🥰💃🍹🦅
And then once again in her second to last rest period:
Sam is uh…
an interesting man, isn’t he.
Lol. To know him is to love him.
Or however that song goes.
😂😂 something like that.
Finally, they’d completed, the four of them having just finished their wrap up shots. Michelle could barely wait; texting Toby the second she was out of eyeshot.
Soooo… We’re done 😁
!!!! And??
🏆😎
Don’t tell a soul I told you.
I promise 🤐
You know what this means?
Feminism stays on top?
Well, that too, haha.
I just meant we’re of an
elite special squad now!
Girl Winners!
Just you and me :3
Something about that made Michelle’s already spinning head start to spin slightly faster. Just her and Toby.
Well. Until they get more
female friends, I suppose.
🤣 So just us then?
Hehe, you’re terrible
But fair.
🤭I gotta go.
I’ll call you tomorrow??
Yes! Tell me everything.
I want to be completely spoiled
ᯓ ✈︎
Six months later, and Michelle found herself at the panelist green room at VidCon, fidgeting with a zipper on her jacket on a well worn corduroy couch. She was a featured creator this year, which meant she got a whole panel and a meet and greet to herself.
It was extremely exciting! Michelle was excited! She was! She had so much to promote, and the fact that she’d been selected out of the thousands of applicants was something really special!
She worked her ass off to get here. Her team did too. The very idea that there was a room full of hundreds of people waiting with bated breath to hear her speak was insane; the massive line that formed at her meetup yesterday was even more so.
But it was now day three of a five day work trip. And she was already feeling it.
If Michelle was honest with herself; she was getting a little tired of “Creator Conventions.” VidCon was absolutely no exception.
In theory it was fun! A place to meet in person with peers and fans, to network and plan collaborations. Michelle loved meeting people who watched her most of the time. Her channel’s viewer demographic fell everywhere, and seeing young girls run up and tell her they wanted to be athletes, just like her made her really emotional.
Yep! In theory, Michelle loved creator conventions.
In practice? These days it was mostly TikTokers she’d never heard of, inexplicably with several millions of followers, who wanted nothing to do with long form content creators and probably never heard of her, either.
More often than not Michelle would be too polite for her own good and get her ear talked off by some guy who would awkwardly try to hit on her by the end of it. And she’d have to laugh and turn him down very gently just in case he was crazy. He probably was.
The only reason she still went (aside from the great press and optics) was because her friends did—though, those numbers were dwindling every year—and her insane schedule meant it was one of the few times a year she got to see them.
She and Sam had even convinced Toby to make the trip over this year.
They’d never met in person before. It was extremely exciting for Michelle, who texted Toby probably once a week at this point. Was it insane for her to have spent over an hour planning out outfits? Probably. But she was a featured creator anyway, pictures would be constant. That she would look nice for their first meet up was… happenstance.
”Hey, Michelle? You’re on in five.” A volunteer with a very official looking clipboard broke her from her thoughts.
Michelle jumped up. She took two deep breaths and walked through the door held open for her.
Her stomach dropped in excitement and nerves when she heard the sheer noise from the audience. She was handed a mic from a technician, and waited for the moderator to call her out.
The stage was very brightly lit; and the audience was almost entirely full. Michelle walked out to the edge to throw out waves and kisses before sitting down.
There was a VIP section marked off in the very front of the audience. All panels had them; it was reserved for fans who spent a shitload of money on convention passes or for other creators. This meant it was usually sparsely filled, as most creators barely had time for their own panels, much less the panels of their friends.
Michelle’s was pretty full, a few faces she recognized, the rest she didn’t.
The face that stood out the most to her was of one Toby Hendy. She wore a pale pink dress, hair in one long golden braid to the side. It was like she literally stepped out of Michelle’s phone screen and sat down in front of her.
She fluttered her fingers near her head at Michelle in a small wave. Michelle returned the gesture, absolutely beaming, and turned to go sit next to the moderator.
The panel was fun. A lot of basic questions… a handful of tokenizing questions the moderator probably didn’t realize were tokenizing. Some actually good questions from the audience once the floor was opened up for those, and then promotions for her channel, Challenge Accepted, and the upcoming Jet Lag season in December.
Michelle thanked everyone for coming, and thanked everyone again for showing up to her meet and greet, and with a big bow, walked off stage.
Finally, her contractual obligations were fulfilled, and she could chill out and actually see the people she’d come to see.
Of course, Toby beat her to the punch, and was waiting for her in the panel dressing room with a small bouquet of sunflowers.
Michelle let out an excited scream, and wrapped her in a hug.
”You didn’t tell me you were coming to my panel! Toby!”
”Surprise!” She laughed. “You did such a good job, Michelle! I still can’t believe how accomplished you are. Every time someone asked a question about something you’ve done, I just sat back in awe.”
Michelle felt her cheeks heat and her heart swell. She bit her lip and grinned up at the taller woman.
“Oh, stop.” She teased. “Miss Astrophysics yourself.”
Toby handed her the bouquet. On it was a small hand-made card she’d tied, with her familiar and intricate cursive. Michelle could have cried.
“What’s your schedule the rest of VidCon? You have your panel tomorrow, right?”
“It’s not just mine, but yeah. Tomorrow at nine is when they’ve rounded up all the mathtubers and stuck us together for the nerdy masses.” Toby laughed. “But that’s about it. Though, I was going to meet with Sam and them for drinks in a little. You should come!”
Michelle had a twinkle in her eye.
“Hmmm, I don’t think I will. It’s probably a meeting you’d want to have on your own, lots to plan.”
Toby looked extremely confused for a second. Then realization hit her.
“You don’t mean—“
”Round two, Toby!” Michelle grinned at her.
”Did they tell you?!”
”Not in words, but I had the suspicion for a while during post production. I love those boys but they’re terrible at keeping ideas on the down low. I’m so, so excited for you.”
“Well, of course I have to defend my trophy.”
”Of course! Though, for you it’ll probably be a total walk in the park. Ugh, I can’t wait. I love watching you.”
The tips of Toby’s ears turned a cute shade of pink. Inwards, that casual comment made her heart race. How wonderful was it to have someone like you as much as you liked them?
“Well, tomorrow then, you and I will have to find the time to actually sit and chat.”
ᯓ ✈︎
Michelle, not to be outdone, went to Toby’s panel with a large bouquet of pink daisies under her seat.
She snuck into the small backstage area just before the panel finished, and grinned as Toby blushed and covered her mouth before pulling her into a hug.
“You shouldn’t have!”
“And those are for everyone on the panel, right?” Brady from Numberphile joked from behind them. Michelle stuck her tongue out at him and gestured for him to keep walking.
On their way out, Toby wanted to stop by her room to drop off the bouquet, not wanting to carry it around or damage it the rest of the day.
They walked around with coffee and pastries, and chatted for a few hours before parting ways; both having other places they needed to be, whether they liked it or not.
Talking to Toby, really talking to her about personal life stuff; families and childhoods and all the ways New Zealand and Louisiana both completely differed and were somehow the same, was exhilarating to Michelle.
While hearing about Toby’s constant scraped knees from being a rough and tumble kid, to the light bullying from the more popular girls in her tween years, to her steadfast studies in her late teens, all Michelle could think about was how desperately she wished they’d been girls growing up together.
She had never felt like this with a friend. She wondered if it was because none of her friendships had ever felt this crucial before.
There was a desperation, a need Michelle had for Toby to like her. That their friendship came so easily only seemed to speak to its own importance.
Michelle had plenty of female friends, and many of them were creators too… but Toby was just different. What they had was special, and entirely their own.
Such a shame they lived so far apart.