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"Someday." Peridot began. "Someday, I want the ability to reside on Earth without the constant, paranoid, delusional... abominations that disturb my life."
The sand glittered under her feet, like for pure decoration that bordered the beautiful city, as the sea washed to and fro. The moon was high in the sky, and not a cloud was in sight, giving the green gem a full view of every star that burned bright. One of them would be Homeworld's Planet; and Peridot did not even want to gaze upon it in fear that something would launch out of it. When the Rubies had vanished, Peridot didn't know what to expect, or what to do with herself. Was she still a wanted gem? Did Yellow Diamond send out any other gems to potentially shatter her? Or had they given up, accepting that Peridot was a part of Earth now, and let her go? And why was Jasper wanted more than Peridot, if Peridot was the one who screamed at her beloved Diamond, blinded with fury and frustration?
It was a curse. Although she had grown accustomed to herself being a Crystal Gem, and it had been a while since anything had emerged from Homeworld itself, she was certainly one to panic. A hundred thoughts ran through her head all at once every second passing by, but what made her feel negatively the most was the trouble she was constantly causing to the people around her. She had grown to see the gems on Earth as friends. They protected her, and made her feel at home. They took her in when she rebelled against her leader. And now, she was strolling through the quiet atmosphere of this... fascinating planet, as if nothing was wrong. As if she wasn't endangering the people she cared about with her very existence.
There was a small breeze that swept in with the tide, cooling down Peridot's nerves as she kept her stance. Her hands locked behind her back, she paused to admire the scenery. Relaxing every once in a while wasn't a crime, was it? She felt she deserved a little break from worrying. Placing herself down in a comfortable dip in the sandy layer of ground, she focused her attention on the illuminating galaxies. She was so interested in Earth, and yet, she found some sort of satisfaction seeing the space surrounding her from Earth's perspective. Homeworld glowed and begged for attention in the sky as she scanned over each planet. She couldn't help but feel emotion from where she was created, and as her gaze shifted ever so briefly to the star, a lot of complicated memories had already forced their way into her train of thought.
Now, why does that sound so familiar?
She knew for a fact that her and Amethyst were similar in a lot of manners, but respectively, this was the icing on the cake. They were one in the same, as they had abandoned their purpose for creation; with Amethyst, she may not have exactly chosen the path at first, but for Peridot, this was something that was entirely her responsibility. Nonetheless, both gems were aware that their home was flawed. Purely existing to destroy other things; other lives. And though Amethyst had not followed the way of the quartz, and Peridot had not continued her loyalty to her Diamond, both still felt a tinge of... what was that feeling? Sadness? Regret? Nostalgia?
On Earth, there were no limitations for Peridot, and she wasn't sure if she'd get used to that any time soon. Even getting close to other gems that were not of her own stone was unusual; so when Amethyst and Peridot shared vaguely intimate moments, their bond growing stronger, becoming stable and discovering the strengths of each other that complimented the other's weaknesses, Peridot couldn't help but get out of the situation as soon as possible. It was difficult for her to handle, but it was simply a habit to eliminate problems as soon as they arrive, and the most plausible solution was to escape the scenarios when they got to the problem stage. Talking it over with Steven helped slightly, as he defined the problem Peridot was having as 'romantic feelings', and that she was trying to get away from them because she did not want to face the consequences. "You're just nervous because you like her," was what he mentioned. Peridot found the idea preposterous, as she had no time for such things to plague her mind further than it already was, however, the more time she had spent with Amethyst, the more she was beginning to agree with Steven.
She was seeing Amethyst in a different light than she observed the rest of the gems and Lazuli. Though they were simply friends, comrades, and at some points, personal trainers, Amethyst was a little bit more. There was something different about her. Peridot noticed when speculating the conclusion from her own behaviour around the quartz that she had an urge to make Amethyst smile as much as possible. She wanted Amethyst to view her as cool, to be impressed by her. She wanted to spend time with her more than the others. When they spoke, Peridot found herself drag out the conversation as long as possible, throwing in jokes she learnt from her joke book, or even having a serious conversation to which Amethyst would make funny in her own little way. When Peridot lingered at the barn, she would often reminisce over the past conversations she'd had with Amethyst, and how to improve them; and as she watched the clouds hover in the milky pink sky at sunsets, she constantly picked out Amethyst's face in the puffy whiteness of them.
A little length away was the beach house of the Crystal Gem temple, and there sounded a soft click as the front door closed. Peridot tried not to look, tried to mind her own business, but when she saw who had emerged from the house she'd wished she never looked. It couldn't have been anyone else. The purple, plump gem was already making her way down the wooden steps and onto the beach, and Peridot brought her knees close to her chest. Her heart began to thump. Steven was definitely on the right track with his hypothesis of Peridot's emotions towards Amethyst. Every step Amethyst took towards her, the pace of Peridot's heart quickened, words already whizzing through her mind like a fruit machine on what to say when she was approached; all different combinations, but which one could she pick? There was so many.
"Yo, P-dot." Amethyst had her usual expression, baring her shining teeth in a grin and a hand rested on a hip. The moon highlighted her face and hair in such an aesthetically pleasing manner that Peridot had to look away after acknowledging her presence.
"Evening, Amethyst." Peridot replied, almost nonchalantly. Amethyst took this as an invitation to drop herself directly beside the technician, sand rising from her impact and landing on Peridot's legs.
"Whatcha starin' at?" Amethyst's voice was quiet, just above a whisper, as if not to disturb the stirring night around them. Peridot relaxed; this was fine. Just two friends, having a chat.
"The sky." She cleared her throat. "Specific galaxies. The atmosphere. The stratosphere. Whichever name you prefer." Amethyst scratched her cheek as she too looked above them and analyzed what faced her. She seemed a lot less interested than Peridot though, which was proved in her next question;
"Why?"
"They're very..." Peridot allowed her eyes to move to Amethyst's form for only a second. "Aesthetically pleasing." She could feel her mouth purse involuntarily as her cheeks had a light burning sensation.
"Oh. Right. Yeah, the sky's pretty sweet." Amethyst lay onto her back, her hair sprawled in all directions and all ways, and Peridot lowered her own legs into a cross. A strand of Amethyst's hair lay touching the base of Peridot's knee, and a part of her wanted to subtly move it away, but the other was happy that it was there. She stared at it for a while, before Amethyst piped up once again. "Gross, I totally just realized that's Homeworld." Her pudgy finger pointed in the star's direction.
"Er, yes. 'Gross' indeed." Peridot's tone of voice was a lot gentler. She inhaled before speaking up again, trying to maintain posture. "Amethyst?"
"'Sup, homegirl?"
Here we go. "H-have you ever... I mean... do earthlings tend to... to recognize the pleasing outward appearance of others often?"
"You mean, do we find people attractive?" Peridot hadn't noticed beforehand, but Amethyst's arm was rested beside her own face, her fingers tangled in the locks of pale hair. "Yeah dude. That's kind of a big thing on Earth."
"I see." Peridot gave a forced little laugh to try and lighten the mood.
"Why'd you ask?"
"I don't know. Curiosity, perhaps. You're easy to ask these things to."
Amethyst gave a sincere smile, but Peridot wasn't watching her. Peridot was doing everything in her power not to let herself look at Amethyst. She didn't know whether to take this offensively or not, but as she'd been working on preventing herself from projecting anger on impulse, she let it go for the mean time, and decided to work around it another way.
"Wanna lie down with me? S'kinda lonely down here." Amethyst had a flirtatious hint in her voice, and Peridot felt her shoulders lift in bashfulness when the burning feeling in her face only increased in heat. Her fingers scraped at her leg in search of a response, and she looked up to the stars, hoping they'd send her one.
"I... well, I guess so." Peridot admitted, for it was the truth; the plan of lying down beside Amethyst to get a better view of the sky had no faults. Peridot positioned herself and carefully leaned backwards onto the dusty sand, the many millions of grains tickling her skin and body and mixing in with her hair. She scooped some of it into her palm before releasing it again, repeating this motion as she made herself comfortable beside Amethyst, trying not to let her own awkwardness get in the way of the moment.
The sky; no, the world, seemed utterly still in that moment. All that was noise were the shallow breathing of the two gems who lay side by side, and Peridot's form remained stiff, nervous, staring straight ahead. She didn't know what to do; she didn't know how to act.
"You could just fall asleep right now, right? Frickin' amazing."
"Ah, yes. 'Sleeping'." Peridot pondered on the fact. "That strange ritual that earthlings participate in, usually at the end of the Earth's rotation cycle. A waste, in my opinion."
"I think it's pretty great." Amethyst turned her head to Peridot, who had stiffened at her presumably potential jab at their friendship.
"I-I mean, I guess, it could be... fun?" Amethyst began to laugh a little, and Peridot couldn't stop herself from smiling at the melodic music to her ears. Fingers intertwined on her stomach, she decided it was best for her to make eye contact with the other. "I'm not too sure on why earthlings do it initially."
"Well, it's late enough for Steven to be sleeping right now. I dunno. Guess they just get... sleepy."
"Hm." Peridot's breath hitched before asking another question. "How is it performed exactly?"
"Well, ya close your eyes, think of something nice, and bam, you're gone."
"And you enjoy it?"
"Kinda. It feels nice. Like you're in a deep, dark hole, where nothing can touch you." She raised her eyebrows. "Unless you have a dream, which really just messes it all up, because you're all, like, hallucinating, and you think stuff's real when it's not, then you wake up all confused."
"That sounds more complicated than it should be," Peridot faced her body towards Amethyst, who was already doing the same, so even she couldn't get out of looking at her properly. She couldn't use the sky anymore as an excuse. She wanted to look at her. She wanted to look at her.
"I think you'll change your mind if you try it," Amethyst shrugged, though respecting Peridot's hesitation. It seemed like a while before Peridot found something else to say, but Amethyst was surprisingly patient all of a sudden, like she were waiting for her to say something specific.
"I could be vulnerable to attack when I'm asleep." Peridot managed to whisper, which only had Amethyst snorting back the laughter, edging a little closer.
"I'll be here beside you, girl. Don't worry about it."
As Peridot observed Amethyst adjusting her positioning, perhaps also ready to participate in sleeping, she couldn't help but cycle over the bubbling feelings that pulsed through her. Peridot gave a small smile of affection when Amethyst peered back up to her, almost innocently. Their skin touched, and Peridot flinched in shock, but Amethyst pulled her back. They stayed like that for a while. Peridot was frozen in place, unaccustomed to this kind of intimacy, and the sand sticking to her cheek which was caked in sweat from the nerves. She was flushed, and Amethyst knew all too well of the fact.
"If you want, you could, uhh... put your arm around me, or something," Amethyst murmured, obviously growing a little tired from having her eyes closed. Peridot agreed with a humble nod and a noise of approval, lifting her arm and taking Amethyst in her hold. Her own feelings began flooding through the contact, and the purple gem was moved across the sand and into Peridot's chest with a simple gesture. The hair almost suffocated Peridot, but strangely, she did not mind. She did not find it a hindrance; in fact, she wanted to nuzzle into her hair, and take in its scent. Captivated in Amethyst's embrace, Peridot's heart fiercely tried to pump its way out of her chest.
"Close your eyes, and think of somethin' nice," Amethyst breathed onto Peridot's neck, and she gulped back any confessions she felt like she should have made.
"Is it reasonable if I think of you as my 'something nice'?" The words had already tumbled out of Peridot's mouth before she could stop them. Silence followed and pursued, which gave Peridot worries about coming off as inconsiderate.
"You dumb nerd." Amethyst teased. "But definitely."
And as Peridot closed her eyes, and images of Amethyst flooded her mind throughout the few minutes she remained awake, her fingers stroked along the skin of the gem in her arms. Perhaps that problem she was having revolving around her purple companion was not so much of a problem after all.
Peridot was not used to the ways of Earth, and she did not feel as if she were ready for a lot of things that faced her. She was certainly not ready for fusion. She was not ready to live her life as full as possible. She was not even ready to allow herself to fall in love, let alone make known her budding feelings for Amethyst.
However, baby steps are a perfect way to start, and she drifted into her own world of dreams wondering what Amethyst may teach her next.