Chapter Text
Started: June 2022
Finished: July 2022
From the window of the camper, Claire watched her new friends sneak up behind Dean, one with an ax, the other with a bat. They couldn't get the drop on him, he heard them. There was a struggle and she wasn't sure, but she thought she saw one of them point toward the motor home she hid in. She knew she should slip out of the potential trap she was in, at least until he was gone. He may come looking for her or just want to trash the place to blow off more steam. She moved but the next window she peaked out of, she saw him disarm them easily. He took the bat and beat one of them on the ground mercilessly. The other could help but watch, paralyzed. Dean then turned and did the same thing to them. Suddenly, she saw him head toward the camper. She locked the door and glanced at the few places to hide. She went for her phone but dropped it when he kicked the door in. She couldn't even scream.
"So much trouble, why do you have to be so much trouble?" He asked, coldly. "We give you an easy way out of your old life. What more could you ask for?" His eyes fell to the phone on the floor. "Anyone else you're inviting to this party?" He saw no recent calls then put it in his pocket. "Stupid, stupid girl."
"After everything we did for you. Cass gets you out of that awful group home. He called us when you bolted and me and Sam, we don't look for runaways. He wants redemption Claire and you're at no point to deny him him that." He kicked and threw random things. "Randy was a monster and you know it! You should be thanking me!" His yelling sent shock waves through her and tears fell from her eyes. And you know perfectly well what we saved you from!" He kicked and punched, destroying everything in the close quarters of the camper getting ever closer to Claire who had backed up tight to a corner of the motor home, believing she was going to be next. She turned away and screwed her eyes shut and waited for death. Everything went quiet. "Ok Claire-bear, this is how is going to be," he said lowly. "You're coming with me, no running, no fuss." She remained frozen. "Look at me." He brought his hand up to her face and she shuddered and gasped. He sighed, then she met his eyes. "You hear me in there?" She nodded. "When we get to the bunker I want you to apologize to Cass. And I want to see it. Understood?" He glanced in the direction of the bodies outside. "You set me up. You allowed your new, or former, friends to be slaughtered. That's on you. I'm going to be nice and not tell Sam or Cass. You'd do well to keep you mouth shut as well."
hair, make up, jewelry
"He started the car. Fix your hair, it looks ridiculous. Take those things out of your ears, you're not a Christmas tree. Take that make up off, it makes you look like a baby prostitute." She looked at him with wide eyes. "I didn't ask you to stare at me Claire-bear. Get to it." She felt overwhelmed. She turned and her faced reddened. There it was again, he called her Claire-bear. It was supposed to be warm but it wasn't, it was cold and condescending. She hated it and it made her sick. She took out a brush and makeup wipes out of her bag and used the visor mirror to clean up. They drove in silence.
"Hey Cass," his sudden voice made her jump. "I'm on my way to the bunker," he spoke into the phone. "I have something for you."
Apology to Cass
Upon seeing Castiel, Claire flew straight into his arms and started to cry. "I'm sorry for making you worry. I'm sorry for running. Thank you for rescuing me," she said between sobs. Sam turned to leave to give the 2 some privacy. He saw Dean didn't follow. Dean stood there with his arms folded.
"Dean, Dean," he said quietly but sternly.
"What? I don't see anything wrong with observing a little well deserved regret."
"Don't be a jerk."
"I'm sorry for calling you stupid, I'm sorry for threatening to hurt your friends, she continued.
Show you around
Cass had taken Claire to sit and chat in the library. Later, Sam joined them. "Hey Claire," greeted Sam.
"Hey," she responded barely looking at him.
"It's good to see you again," he continued. "I'm glad you decided to come. I'll show you around and you can pick out room." She looked down.
"Ok," she responded spiritless.
She gathered that the placed was dark, dank and samey, very utility and uniform and basic. She was gathering her bedding to take to the laundry room. "Sam told me he finished showing you around. She jumped at the sudden voice in her doorway. He also told me what room you had chosen. "Let me help you with that."
"No no I got it."
"Nonsense, that's far too much."
"Stop. I can go twice." But he didn't listen he grabbed up everything she left behind. She walked in silence and didn't want to talk much. She wasn't impressed with the place. She had apologized earlier because her emotions had been heightened. Now, she just wanted to be left alone and not forced to speak or be friendly.
"How do you like the place?" he asked. "It's a place she said. It's very utility and clean and big." She struggled, not being able to compliment the place.
"It should suffice," he said with a small smile.
Apology to Sam
Another requirement Dean had of her was that she apologize to Sam. She did hold him at gunpoint after all, brought him into her mess, and blamed him for the possession and death of her father. Sam and Dean where practically joined at the hip. She didn't want to approach Sam if Dean was around. She wanted to put off apologizing to Sam till tomorrow but she didn't want to wait for Dean to give her another rude, abrupt invitation. The only person she wanted to see less then Cass was Dean.
Claire passed by the room and peeked in. Dean looked up and she froze. He motioned for her to come over. "Hey Claire. Why don't you come on in." She stepped silently.
"Hey Claire," greeted Sam.
"Hey Sam," she said quietly. She sat next to Sam.
"What's up?" Sam asked. She was quiet, not wanting to be there. "I know this must be unusual, to say the least," he began to put her at ease. "Cass doesn't need the normal things a person needs, to eat or sleep or other human related things. But that's where we come in. We hope you're comfortable here." Dean suddenly shifted in his seat and she flinched.
"I'm sorry," she began suddenly. "I'm sorry about everything Sam." She spoke carefully staring down at the table, ignoring Dean watching the best she could. "I'm sorry for putting all of you in that situation with Randy. He really was a very bad man. I know that now."
"Yeah you think?" Dean interrupted and she winced.
"And I know Castiel wants what's best for me. I know you all want to protect me." She started to cry.
"Easy, easy, easy," soothed Sam. "Dean, could you could you give us a minute. And don't wait up." Dean reluctantly left.
"And I don't blame you for my dad getting possessed or killed by, by an angel. What could you do? What could anyone do? Nothing." He moved his chair next to her and hugged her. He rubbed her shoulders and back.
"I know you were hurt. I know you were scared and angry. All that matters is that you're here now. We are happy you're here. No one is more happy then Cass. All that matters now is that we move forward.
Sam talks to Dean about Claire's 'change of heart'
After Claire had left, Sam knocked softly on Dean's bedroom door. He found Dean lying in bed with with his phone. He sat on the edge of the queen sized bed. "Did something happen before you brought her back?" Sam asked Dean.
"What didn't happen Sam? She's been through a lot, it just all finally came to a head. Just doesn't seem like her."
"What? She's finally starting to act like a traumatized, lost, little girl who finally knows the value of her life having been saved." He gave a tight lipped smile.
"It doesn't make sense. She ran to the ends of the earth form her foster home, her families, from Cass, from us."
"What can I say? She decided to stop running."
"Dean, I know the affect you have on people." He sighed. "But thanks, he gave in. Claire being with Cass, with us, is the best place for her. But you didn't have to take her things from her. Young ladies like to doll themselves up."
"Now she looks like a respectable young lady. Not some punk ass kid who tries to look tough but is really just a trouble making brat with hooker make up."
"Wow, Dean, sometimes it still surprises me how much of can be a jerk you can be."
"Wow, Sam still with the bitching. But you already thanked me, so you're welcome."
"She's here. That's what counts. You can't control every aspect of her life. Cass thinks she's with him because she had a change of heart. What will happen when he finds out it was forced?"
"She's not talking. Dean outstretched his arm across the second pillow. And you're talking too much."
First Night
Cass and Claire where in her new room. She lied curled up on the bed. He sat on the chair near by. She barely spoke though he tried to make conversation. He could see she was sad. She thought that if she could make herself less appealing to him, then he'd change his mind and give Dean no reason to require her to stay. "You don't have to worry about me for long. I'll be 18 soon."
"Claire, I thought I made it clear I want to be here for you. I'm not going to brush you off at 18 because of an extremely modern human invention. Your lifespan is like a blink of an eye to me. It's like getting a kitten and then letting it go when it's a year old to live out the next 11 to 17 years on it's own. No one does that and if they do, they are cruel." She faltered a little.
"You'll get tired of having a whiny, needy, emotional girl around. That baggage isn't going to disappear when I turn 18.
"That baggage is because if me and I'm finally going to take care of it. I hope you'll be patient with me." She looked down at how kind his response was.
"I think I'll try to sleep now."
"It's quite early, even for Sam," Cass commented. She shrugged.
"There's nothing to do."
"There's a library." She looked at him and sighed. "Good night Claire," he said. She looked at him expecting him to make a move to leave but he did not. "Do you have a room here?" she asked.
"Yes."
"You can go to it?"
"I could, but I was intending to finally do my duty, to watch over you.
"This place is a fortress. I think I'm safe." He looked down, disappointed, as you wish, and left.
Look at you
The next day, after a shower, she explored the dark, dank, sunless bunker, stretching her legs, feeling incarcerated and wanting to go for a walk outside. Dean came around the corner. She visibly stumbled. "Where are you going?"
"Just, walking, looking around."
"Let me see you," he said as he got into her personal space. She cringed and avoided his eyes as he ran his fingers through the side of her hair where her braids used to be and then the shells of her ears that used to be full of earrings. "Now you look like a proper girl. Without those awful black raccoon eyes you smeared on yourself, you sure have an angel face, just like your father." He stared for what seemed like forever, making her more and more nervous. She winced when he started to move. She looked back at him walking away, as if he was going to turn back around, as if he wasn't really done with her. He just continued walking. She let out a breath.
trust exercise
Claire heard a knock at her door. "Can I come in?" It was Sam.
"Yeah." He took her chair and sat backwards on it.
"So, How are you Claire?"
"Um, I don't know. What do you mean?"
"How are you feeling?
"This place is new. Not much to do."
"So board?"
"I guess so.
"What's you're favorite music genera?"
"I don't know."
"Whats a favorite book you've read?"
"You're kidding right?"
"You took these books from the library.'
"I just randomly grabbed some because I don't have anything."
"We will fix that soon. Any secret talents that know one knows about?" She frowned.
"No."
"What's your weirdest habit?"
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to get to know you. Trying to start a conversation."
"There's nothing to know."
"Sure there is."
"Then how about, you already know it all."
"There's more to you then your trauma." She looked away.
"It sounds like an interrogation."
"Is that how it sounds? They're supposed to be conversation starters."
"You don't have many friends do you?" Sam furrowed his brows and pursed his lips.
"Ok, um, a different approach."
"You don't trust me. You don't want to open up. I get it. If I can't get you to open up, Cass will never be able to. He's not the best with people."
"Ya think?" she said.
"Come with me.
"Where going?"
"Outside."
"Why?
"You'll see." He lead her to the edge of the woods. "Now. You're going to walk backwards and I'm going to lead you through the woods, safely." She looked back and saw roots, bushes, hills, drops, trees. No way. I'm going to fall on my ass."
"It's a trust exercise."
"I trust you."
"No you don't, and I don't blame you for being standoffish."
"You did help save me. Of course I trust you."
"I did. But I see you every day now and you need to trust me in a more personal level. A way in that I won't abandon you, or laugh if you fall or lead you wrong or get frustrated if you fail." She looked away sad. "Look at me look me. Look me in my eyes." She did. "Try not to laugh," he said. He made a funny face. She laughed. "I said try not to," he teased. "Try again. He made another face. She laughed again. "Trust me ok?'
"Fine." They started. After a few minutes she paused. "This is really weird," she commented.
"I googled this. This is a standard exercise for the work place and what not." She stepped on a root and stood on a downed tree. She was at eye level with Sam.
"You, googled this?"
'Yeah. Research is how you learn."
"You don't need to know these things. All you seem to have is Dean and that vast empty bunker."
"I, er, we have you." After a moment of awareness, Sam took charge of the conversation again. "Ok, now turn around and fall back. I'll catch you."
"I know you would. So you never go out, out of the bunker, for anything, for fun?"
"So you want to talk now?" She thought to herself, not really I just don't like the bunker.
"Sure."
"I don't go to bars. Not into that scene. We see a lot when we travel."
"But do you take time to enjoy it?'
"We pass by. Well sometimes Dean stays out till all hours of the night."
"Do you know where you will go next, to hunt?"
"I will catch you, you know."
"What?' she said.
"The trust fall. Do it." She sighed, thinking all of this to be silly, pointless. Sam can play his games but she will still be closed off.
"Fine. Kinda demanding," she said. "I'm supposed to want to, not be told to."
"Not entirely true. You can have your trepidation, but I will prove you wrong."
"What if I just stepped down and went back?"
"You don't know your way back." She looked around one way then the other.
Everything looked the same, she said. How could I have got that much turned around in such a short time?
"It's this way," he pointed. "Come on he motioned with his hands." She groaned.
"Fine." She fell back and into Sam's arms.
"Now you can lead me back," he declared.
"Oh no. I don't trust my self. I'll make you fall and laugh. I'll give bad directions. These woods are really treacherous."
"Ok, another time then." As they walked back, few moments of silence passed.
"I really don't like talking about myself."
"That's honest, so that's good."
"That's ok."
"Is it?"
"Yes, that's something about you."
shopping with Cass
Sam found Claire in the kitchen making a late breakfast. "Hey Claire," greeted Sam. Since you are going to need things, I told Cass and he seems more then happy to take you shopping.
"Oh," she said blankly. "Really? I thought..."
"You thought what, that you where on lock down?" Sam laughed. "We're building trust. If we only allow you to order things online, that's not really building trust now is it? He noticed her look of anxiousness. "Relax, it's ok. Just don't give him too hard of a time."
Plans change
Sam Spoke to Dean. "Cass is taking Claire shopping."
"I think you should take her shopping," Dean suggested. "Give you two bonding time. She doesn't only belong to Cass."
"You're right. I'll ask her."
"No. You'll tell her."
"Right."
Sam taking Claire shopping
"And Claire," before they got out of the car, Sam spoke. "If you do disappear again, we'll just find you again," he said casually with out looking up. "Sorry." He said looking up at her. "Not to sound ominous. That's just what we do.
"No, I know," she said shortly. "I wont, I didn't even think of it," she lied.
"Just, give this a chance. Give us a chance."
They entered the store. He grabbed a shopping cart and she hung back. She looked to Sam awkwardly. "I-"
"What? I don't really feel comfortable."
"How? What do you mean?"
"I'm not really in the mood to shop and I don't like to be followed around anyway.
"You're just a kid, Claire. And I'm not-"
"Not a kid Sam. Cass saw to that as soon as he killed my father. Had to grow up real fast." He stood with his mouth open, disappointed that she would bring that up here, not being the time or place.
"You're still a kid and I'm going to let you wander off. That would be irresponsible for any guardian. Especially with your history."
"I just came to get out of the bunker," she said.
"And I drove all the way here."
"Sam. This makes me feel very uncomfortable. It really isn't necessary. It makes me feel like I can't do anything right."
"You can do anything, within reason. Shopping alone isn't one of them. She frowned. He abandoned the cart and put his arm on her back. "Lets go outside and talk." Sam pulled her down on a bench next to him. He turned toward her while she looked straight ahead. "I know you've been on your own for a long time, Sam began and I'm sorry. That should never have happened to you. I saw the relief in your eyes when I told you I'd take you instead of Cass. It's hard to look at him, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I hate that he looks like him and I hate who he is anyway. Sorry."
"No, it's ok. It's honest. I don't blame you. But you have to give him a chance. He's good guy." She made a face. "He cares a lot. We, care a lot. You came here to give him a chance, remember?" She turned away and tried to hold back tears. He stood. "Come with me and we'll get you supplies.
"Just, Just trust me, ok? Like I trusted you yesterday." She looked up at him. "I didn't take my turn and lead you out of the woods because I didn't think that I could, but I can do this. You can trust me to do this." He knelt down in front of her.
"Ok. Take an hour and check in. I know girls, er, young ladies take time to choose things. I'm not totally clueless."
"Really?"
"Really," he confirmed. When she rose, he took her in his arms, feeling bad for her teary eyes.
Later she came out of the store. "You find everything you need? You didn't get much. I thought leaving you alone would help."
"It did help. It was just last minute and I have a lot on my mind. I just wanted to get out of the bunker for a while. I didn't want you to wait forever for me and think that I," she babbled on somehow wanting him to remain happy with her.
"Claire relax. We will go again. I know this will take some adjusting." On the way home Sam spoke. "You should probably do some trust exercises with Dean." She almost threw up. She didn't want to say anything for fear it would be the wrong thing. "After what you saw him do, I'm sure you're a little troubled at least." She could hardly remind silent. She felt like she couldn't hide anything from him and was glad he didn't press.
Still angry
Cass lingered next to her as she put her stuff away. She couldn't talk to him the way she used to, when she had prayed to him all though years ago. He had forsaken her. She didn't know how to talk to him now. He was so, not like Sam. Sam was the best at being social out of the 3 but that's not saying much. Cass was so clueless and the pretenses that she had come here still fresh in her mind. All of that made her angry. She was quiet but for small talk. She was afraid if she started to speak her mind, that she couldn't stop.
"You made him loose his faith. He never said grace after he came back. Then he still had to leave, because of you."
"They would have never stopped coming for your father."
"Because of you. You nearly got me and my whole family killed by demons. How could you let them? Why where you too late? Where you really that useless against them? We pray to you for what? For protection you couldn't give." He patiently let her vent, knowing she had to get her anger out. "I'm sure you promised him that his family would be safe. You lied," tears streamed down her cheeks.
"You where never supposed to see me or him again but I got pulled out of my vessel and back into heaven. You where supposed to be safe."
"You had no idea what would happen, or you didn't care. You couldn't promise we would be safe so you lied! You trap people, vulnerable people who pray to you. Use them up and screw their families. What's wrong with you? You horrifying evil creature."
Hannah
"I had a friend, Hannah, who inhabited a body. Her vessels husband came looking for her. The next thing I know, she telling me how we are just body snatchers. She felt sorry for the woman and wanted to give her back to her husband. She made me realize that, I need to check in on you. I tend to think of man kind as a whole not, individuals. I'm regretful of what you had to see and what you had to endure."
"That doesn't fix anything."
"I'm here now. I'm regretful and I want to do better." Tears fell from his eyes.
"That's the problem. You're here and he isn't. She started to cry. I don't even know you. I tried to trust you and you ruined my family. Leave me alone." He turned sadly and walked away. She sank to the floor, leaned against her bed and cried. He lowered his head and left the room.
Brat
"Hey," came a voice behind her. She turned, startled. Dean leaned in her doorway. She lifted herself to sit on the bed, then awkwardly stood. She wiped her face, hoping he wouldn't come closer. "Neither you or Cass seem to be having great time at the moment. Why is that?" He gestured, perplexed. Her thoughts reeled. He placed his hands on the door frame. Just his posture seemed threatening. She wished Cass would come back. "You don't seem to understand what he is, do you? What he's done for millennia. What he's experienced with humans. What he wants with you. Don't be a brat." He turned and left. She remind frozen for a few moments, then she went to the door and closed and locked it as if that would keep him out.
running with Sam
"You go running every morning?"
"I do." He waited.
"Could I come along?" She asked unsure.
"You would want to do that, run with me?"
"Sure, why not?"
"I have a strict regime I follow. I may not be a good partner."
"I just want to get out of the bunker," she confessed.
"Ask Cass to go for a walk. I'm sure he'd love to. Besides, I usually run at sunrise. I get up at 5."
"Wow, that's like psycho early," she teased.
"At least that rules Dean out right? When we aren't working, he isn't up before noon," he played along. Her face fell. "Well, we do have an extremely violent line of work. We tell ourselves we're the good guys. But we kill things, creatures who have families, who have feelings, who beg for their lives. And most of them only kill to eat, to survive, to propagate their species, like humans do."
"Mm-hm," she said a tiny bit horrified at what he was saying.
"I try to save as many as possible, human and monster alike, well friendly monsters. Demons though, the ones who are responsible for your situation. I send them all back to hell."
"But demons didn't do this to me, the angel did."
"Angels aren't much better," Sam confessed. "They slaughter each other and struggle for power just like leaders on Earth. Innocent people are caught in the middle."
"Why are you telling me this?" she asked. "I'm being candid, personal. I'm sharing, in hopes you do the same. Also, Castiel, didn't intend on causing you pain. Let him make it up to you."
Walk with Cass
She got to the top of the staircase through a hallway and to the door to the outside. She tried the door and stepped outside. She wanted to go for a walk. It was miles out in the middle of nowhere. She already knew that but actually seeing it was like being on a deserted island surrounded by ocean. It gave her a desperate stranded feeling. In fact, when Dean was bringing her there, she almost thought he was bringing her somewhere to kill her. It felt vast and disorienting. She went back in and sat halfway down on the staircase. She called him. "Yes, Claire."
"Are you here? Are you close by?"
"Do you need me?
"Yeah." A minute later, he walked into the room below.
"Claire. What is it?"
"I uh, I want to go for a walk."
"You want to go for a walk?"
"Yeah, outside, with you."
"With me?" He smiled.
"I don't think anyone would appreciate it if I went alone."
"I'm glad you called me Claire." She walked in silence glad to get out of that sunless, ugly, stuffy bunker made worse with that murderous creep named Dean inside.
"Sorry, I'm not very talkative," she apologized insincerely.
"It's ok. A walk doesn't require speaking." The walk and fresh air did her good. She relaxed and collected her thoughts.
"I never had anyone I could really trust since all that bad happened."
"I know Claire. I'm sorry. I'll never able to say it enough. I can only hope that over time I became someone you can trust, someone you can, accept."
"No, I'm not telling you this to make you apologize again. I'm just, talking.
"That's good. Talking. Say anything thing you want, I will not judge.
"Don't try so hard."
"I'm confused. I'm not trying. I'm stating a fact."
Castiel's powers / Sam Dean Claire and Cass
Cass and Claire sat in the library. "What can you do? What powers do you have?"
"I don't want to talk about that."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to focus on how different we are. I want to appear to you as a companion, not as a being with, powers. And I'm broken. I can't do everything I used to."
"That's not fair, I'm broken too. I have lots of issues and you know what they are and why." He stared at her hesitant. "You probably think my issues are nothing compared to yours. It's ok, I get it. You where around since before human creation. You lead armies. Followed orders. I know. I just wish that you wanting to care for a human wasn't a part of you being broken."
"The path I took lead me to you. Where I'm supposed to be."
Claire found Sam in the kitchen making breakfast. "Sam. What can Castiel do? What are some of his abilities." I
"f you want know, you should ask him."
"He won't tell me. He said he doesn't want appear so different from me." Dean barged in.
"What can Cass do? What can' t he do? Lets see. Teleport, well he used to. Time travel, again, used to. Telekinesis. Psychic. He can read your mind, say goodbye to privacy."
"Dean!" scolded Sam.
"Literal mind control. That's not creepy at all," he said sarcastically. "He can put you to sleep, also creepy."
"Dean!" Sam repeated. He smiled at Claire and said, you're welcome. She looked at him warily. Dean left the room smugly. Sam turned to Claire.
"Claire, there are many reasons why he may not want to talk about his powers. He doesn't want to tell you because he doesn't want to scare you. He's been through a lot. His experiences this close to humans is very new. He could be ashamed that he's not at full strength. He doesn't want to talk about what he lost or how he doesn't know how to get it back. He wants to relate to you as much as he can. You can try asking about his human experiences."
"Thanks Sam. All of that is so thoughtful. I feel bad now. I shouldn't have asked you."
"It's ok. You didn't know. It's learning experience."
no guardian angel?
Calire walked through the hall in the morning. Dean appeared next to her. "I see you haven't been giving Cass permission to watch over you at night." Her walk slowed, fearing she did something wrong. "I don't blame you, it's creepy really." He cut her path off making her stop. She put space between them but he followed suit. He eyed her up and down. "Someone watching you while you sleep. He means well. He wants to keep you safe from anything that could, happen to you. He doesn't understand boundaries very well." He stood still, staring at her unblinking. Her heart raced. He suddenly side stepped and went on his way. She took a few breaths. When she could think, she thought, how hypocritical. She suddenly considered again allowing Cass to watch over her. As much as she hated the idea, she hated Dean more.
Watching over you
He respectfully left after he wished her goodnight. She lied in bed in the dark not being able to sleep. Haunted. His phone buzzed signaling a message. "Cass." He knocked quietly then came in.
"What is it Claire?"
"You, you can stay."
"Really?" he smiled. "I know humans don't like to be watched. Dean didn't like to be watched over." She cringed at the mention of his name. "I'm happy you changed your mind. She reached to turn the small lamp on the desk beside the bed off. "Good night Claire."
"Good night, she whispered. She tried to get comfortable. She was super aware of him watching her. There was no calm breathing or tossing and turning or snoring, just dead silence and the creature who wore her dads meat suit near by. She put the lamp on. "Is that what you do? Just stand there?"
"Yes," he said.
"You look like a specter." He seemed at a loss.
"I apologize."
"You could sit."
"I don't need to sit".
"It would make me feel more comfortable if you would sit. It would like we are both resting. So I can rest, easier."
"If that would make you feel comfortable, then ok." He pulled out the desk chair and sat. She put the light off again.
"Cass," she whispered.
"Yes."
"You have a phone right? Do you ever play games on it?"
"I only use the phone for communication purposes." She was trying to be delicate with her implication. "Also, this isn't the time for games Claire." She felt like she ran into a wall.
"Cass," she said quietly.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"Not nothing. You seem to be having a hard time falling asleep. I believe I'm making you uncomfortable. I should go."
"No, she said quickly. I do, want you, here," she stammered.
"That's not very convincing." She was glad it was dark.
"It's just, this is just, a lot. Stay, just stay. Just, don't go."
"Ok. I'll stay," he replied.
Cass thanks Dean for talking to Claire
"Thank you Dean, for talking to her and for bringing her to us. She hasn't left my side. Even though she knows I don't sleep, she didn't ask me to leave when she slept." He smiled with happy tears in his eyes. "She lets me watcher over her.
"That's great Cass. I'm happy for you. You deserve it man." He walked away feeling bothered that she wasn't sincere, even though he bullied her into this family.
shopping with Cass
"Do you have everything you need?" asked Cass. She shrugged. "I could take you shopping again, if you need something."
"I feel very uncomfortable spending money that isn't mine."
"Sam wouldn't want you to worry about that. Now that you are here, you don't have to worry about that. We are family. We will take care of you. I took everything from you. From now on, I only want to take your worries away." She couldn't help but tear up. Before they left, Sam approached them,
"Claire, don't be afraid to buy more things you could use. Get a lap top."
Before they got out of the car Cass began, "You're not going to ditch me again are you? I don't feel like you will but humans are full of immeasurable deceit."
"I won't," was all she said.
She grabbed a cart. "You're not going to be my shadow are you?"
"You're my responsibility," he said proudly.
"Sam let me shop alone."
"I'm not Sam."
"Do I really have to go through this with you too?"
"Through what?"
"Telling you I need to shop alone. I don't want anyone one breathing down my neck." Sam said that allowing me to go out at all is an exercise in trust. "Let me just, have some time."
"If I let you go off by yourself, then I'd be a doof."
"I said I was sorry I said that," she injected.
"And I learn for my human experiences."
"I need some space. I've been cooped up in the bunker."
"You make a reasonable argument but in human terms you're still a child and one who has a penchant for running away."
"I said I wouldn't and I haven't." She tried to hold back tears.
"Fine. Meet me at the car in an hour. If you disappear on my watch again, Sam and Dean will be pissed and they will blame me. Please don't make me look bad." She took the cart around the store imagining buying a whole bunch of supplies and big bag to put them in and hitch hiking as far away and as fast as she could. Her fear of Dean kept her from doing that. And Sam and Cass haven't been as bad as she thought. She was warming up to Cass, but she wanted space.
Cass decided to wander the store. They crossed paths and he started walking beside her. "Are you following me?" She asked.
"Just wandering. Would you like one of these?" He was holding a noise machine. "You can hear the surf and seagulls, crickets and rain storms." She scrutinized him, not knowing what to make of him trying to help. I thought you would like it because of how cooped up it is at the bunker and how utility and cold it makes you feel. This will make you feel like you are somewhere else.
"That actually sounds really nice. Thanks. She put it in the cart. How how do you even know about noise machines?"
"I watch TV. I've seen ads. I'm might not be human but I wasn't born yesterday."
Back at the bunker she was setting up the sound machine and immediately put it on rain. "Thanks."
"For what?" asked Cass.
"For suggesting this thing and for letting me have space." He nodded.
Netflix / Embarrassed Cass
Sam knocked on her door. "Since you have a lap top, I put you on my Netflix account. Get Cass to watch with you. He seemed to like it when I set him up with mine."
"Thanks Sam."
"You're welcome."
"I mean really, thanks." He understood she meant for everything.
"It's been our pleasure."
Sam and Dean sat in the library when Cass came in. "Got any plans Cass?" Sam asked. Claire and I will Netflix and chill later, Cass said happily. Sam just made a face. "Are you really?" asked Dean, interested.
"Cass," Sam said, that doesn't mean what you think it means.
"It means you want to-"
"Dean!" Sam shouted. "So help me god, let the man google it himself."
Cass knocked on Claire's door. He sat beside her and she went to the website. "Claire, I must apologize for what I said earlier." He didn't look her in the eye.
"What?" She asked.
"You know what."
"I don't."
"Never mind," he said shortly. "Secondly, don't ever let me believe that a phrase means an entirely different thing to people these days. You should know I humiliated myself in front of Sam and Dean." She finally understood.
"Oh no. I'm sorry," she smiled.
"I don't want to say anything that will make me want to hurl myself into the empty." She laughed at him being flustered.
"I didn't think a timeless celestial being could get embarrassed like that." He sat next to her, quiet for a few moments.
"I don't want to be that unfathomable, mystifying being to you. I just want to be a person watching Netflix with you."
"You seem to be good at being embarrassed like a normal person."
"I take my responsibility seriously." He winced. "Even though intimate relationships don't mean anything to me, I'm am trying to fit in here and I can't help but feel appalled. The word Netflix feel tainted to me now."
Claire confesses
They lied side by side, propped up with pillows and blankets watching Netflix. After a show ended she put the laptop aside and confessed. "I know what you can do. Dean told me. But I didn't ask him," she said quickly. "I asked Sam but Sam said that you should tell me in your own time. And I was ok with that. Dean just kinda forced his way into the conversation."
"Dean is rather forceful," commented Cass.
"You can do what you want. Take what you want. Make people think what ever you want."
"I don't want to do that," he said quickly. "Those aren't the kind of relationships I want to have. I don't use them at my personal whims. You're not afraid of me now are you?"
"No. I trust you. You're not human and all the ugly things that come with being human. I think you care at best but can be clueless at worst. You're not what you used to be. You seem to like talking to me and I think you'll at least try to talk to me before doing anything shady. You can't read my mind now, can you?"
"No, it doesn't work like that." He saw her relax. "You where worried about that?" Her face reddened. "It's just private, you know."
"Yes, thoughts are private. I've personally found human thoughts are very boring and repetitive, eating, sleeping and hedonism."
"Yes, very boring," she said quickly. "Nothing, just eating, sleeping, walking and grocery shopping."
"And going behind my back." She felt a cold chill.
"I'm- I'm sorry."
"It's ok. You did ask me before hand."
"It would've been fine that Sam didn't tell me. And I purposefully approached Sam when Dean wasn't around."
"It's ok. I don't blame you for being curious. I look forward to getting to know you more, Claire." She felt more guilt then she thought she would. It was made worse by him being so gracious with her concerning it.
She fell asleep leaning against him as they watched Netflix. He flipped the lap top down and smiled to himself. She stirred after a few minutes. "Here, you can still watch, use the earphones. You'll still be here doing your guardian angel thing."
"No thank you. We will continue to watch later. I never once thought of doing something else while I watch over someone. It's ok," he reassured. "I don't want to. I don't think of watching over someone as a chore." He didn't move to sit at his usual chair and she didn't ask him to. Hours later he felt her turn over beside him. She tried to reach her phone and failed.
"Cassie. Could you reach my phone for me?"
"Oh sure. Is it time to get up?"
"No," she said.
"It is time to get up. You just want to stay in bed."
Cassie?
"How are things going with you and Claire?" Dean asked Cass.
"Really good. She fell asleep in bed while we watched Netflix."
"You, were in her bed?"
"Yes and she called me Cassie." He smiled. "It was lovely." Dean frowned. He feared she was playing him. When he had bullied her into playing house in the first place, now he wants to punish her for playing along?
She was playing on her phone at the top of the staircase. "Cassie huh?" Her shoulders jumped at the raised voice below. She looked at him with dread as he walked up the staircase. She stood quickly. "Don't you think that's personal? A little too personal for someone who doesn't mean it."
"I mean it." She leaned back and averted her eyes as he scrutinized her for a long time.
"Yeah ok," he said and left leaving her feel anything but ok.
She waited till she was in her bedroom and called Cass. "Claire, what a nice surprise," he said with a smile.
"Yeah, um, could you not mention what we talk about to anyone. It's personal."
"Of course. I'm sorry. I was only sharing my happiness." She felt pain at his words.
"Never mind Cass. Talk about it all you want."
"But it is personal. That is a valid point."
"Yeah but never mind. It's ok. Talk about it all you want." There was awkward silence. "Where are you?" She asked.
"A few towns over, just driving. It's a slow process. It's getting late," she said.
"Is that your way of telling me to come back?"
nicknames at the park
Claire and Cass took a walk at a park. "You don't mind when I call you Cassie, do you?
"Not at all. I'm actually quite fond of it. It shows you've accepted me."
"Good. I didn't want you to think I was calling you a girl name."
"You call me it warmly, not mockingly. Like Dean calls you Claire-bear." She made a face and gagged.
"That doesn't feel warm," she said.
"He's not really a touchy-feely kind of guy. I am certain he likes you." Her face scrunched up but she remained quiet, reminded of how his pet name for her made her sick. "I want to call you a nick name. What should I call you?"
"I don't know. I doesn't happen like that. It should happen naturally. Spontaneously. Do you know what I mean?"
"Dean calls you Claire-Bear. You're obviously not a bear. How did that come into being?"
"It's from an 80's cartoon called the Care Bears. He calls me that ironically because care bears are warm huggable happy rays of love and sunshine and I'm the opposite. It's like, what do you think of when you think of me?" He thought a moment.
"Grace," he said.
"Cass," she began.
"Not Cassie? He smiled a bit.
"That's, that's too much."
"No it isn't."
"I don't think, I can't, live up to that," she struggled.
"You don't think you're worth my time?"
"I'm grateful. I feel fortunate that I could somehow mean that much to you but that's way too heavy. I don't think I can help you. I don't think I can make you better. Or save you or anything."
"All I want is to be there for you. It's that's simple."
"You're basically saying I'm your life force?"
"Well, yes. A big part of my life."
Shopping with Cass
"It's a little weird having an older man slash father figure shopping with me," she said to him while they were at the store.
"It's easier for mortals to focus on looks and things that are considered socially normal then being able to understand they are dealing with something as old as creation."
"I know what a you are. I know you have nothing but time. I feel like you're wasting your time, looking at girly things."
"I've observed humanity for many years. I cherish these experiences." Her eyes reddened.
"What wrong? It's, it's just what you said was really nice." She did feel weird having an 'older man' or a strange creature watch her while she shopped but she also liked feeling looked after. She hadn't had that in years.
dressed like a whore
When they went shopping, she bought some new outfits. She was in the kitchen, putting together her lunch. "You're not going to go traipsing around in that are you?" She turned quickly to find Dean in the doorway.
"Cass doesn't have a problem with it."
"Cass isn't human. Sam doesn't care."
"He's too polite to say. It's obscene and whorish."
"Or, she interrupted. Is it just because you like it?" she said, sick of his attitude.
"Watch it," he warned.
"This is what all the girls my age wear."
"I will strip it off you and burn it. I have a lighter."
"Emphasis on strip," she said boldly.
"Shut up," he said dangerously low. The tension hung thick in the air. She shivered and watched as he just walked away. She never back talked him before. It felt good, but terrifying.
Actions have consequences
"Claire, can I talk to you?" Sam came into Claire's room. "Dean told me you dressed provocatively and that you accused him of finding it attractive." She sighed.
"He called me whore and that made me angry," she reasoned.
"He said you looked like a whore not that you are one." She looked at him in disbelief.
"He said he'd take it off me and burn it."
"Yeah and?"
"I," she struggled to say how she actually felt threatened, that he actually was going to it, but she couldn't tell that to Sam. It sounded crazy. "How does he have a right to insult me in the first place?" He sat down near her and played with her hair. "
Actions have consequences. It may seem rude and wrong but the best you can do is not go down that road that gets you that attention. I hope you understand."
"I guess so," she said.
"By the way, you do look pretty."
"Thanks," she said.
Taking turns
She caught a rare moment of Sam being alone. "I've heard how you and Dean take turns doing the grocery shopping. I could go with Cassie."
"Did you ask him yet?"
"No I figured I should ask you first."
"Yeah, I think would be fine."
I'm sure Cass, or Cassie," he smiled, "would love to grocery shop with you. "And, thank you."
Clara
She woke and reached across Cass to get her phone. It read 9 am. "I've decided on a nickname for you," Cass began. "Clara. Like The Doctor's companion from that TV show Doctor Who and it is similar to your name too. We could go on more adventures if I had my wings."
"Car rides are just fine Castiel.
"You said my name, my whole name."
"Wings or not, you're still good."
"I'm just trying be better then the tool I used be." He looked down at her for a long moment. "Clara," he said and touched her on her nose. She smiled.
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