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July 13th, 2008:
William doesn’t think he’s ever been this hot in his entire life. Every time he opens his mouth to speak, he swears he can feel sweat threatening to drip into his mouth. His hair looks disgusting, and even the coldest water tastes lukewarm once it hits his tongue. Not to mention, he thinks that if he has to talk to one more person, he might blow his brains out.
To combat this, William has found sanctuary in the coldest and quietest place he could think of—the Cobra’s bus.
As he lies on the couch with a hand over his head, he starts to hear someone coming onto the bus. He’s way too tired to stand up or to try to pretend he wasn’t mooching off their AC, so he accepts his fate and raises his head as much as he can.
“Well, hello there, Beautiful!” Oh. It’s just Gabe.
He doesn’t really know who else he was expecting, but he also doesn’t know how he feels about it being him either. Ever since Gabe started to be all weird about whatever was going on between them, things had been tense. But of course, communication has yet to occur, and everything has been pushed aside because of how often they Warped.
But deep down, William knew he wouldn’t have even known what to say in order to communicate. Saying, “Hey, so you’ve stopped making out with me unless you’re black-out drunk,” or “So, I noticed you swatted my hand away when I reached under the table for it at dinner a few nights ago? What was that about?” didn’t seem to fit into any conversation.
It’s also not like they established a relationship or anything. So. You do you, Gabe.
“What are you doing here?” William asks while rolling over to face away from him. Gabe begins to approach the coach, and William is really wishing he had just dealt with the misery and slept on his own bus.
In hindsight, it was kind of a stupid question, which is why he isn’t surprised when Gabe responds with a smart ass, “I should be asking you the same thing”. Gabe then starts poking Williams' side, and in moments like these, William finds it hard to be mad at him.
Reluctantly, William turns over and faces Gabe, who is looming over him while… eating a bomb pop? William suddenly decides that the popsicle is the most appetizing thing he has ever seen, leading him to sit up straight and grab the popsicle right out of Gabe’s hand.
Gabe flops down next to him while William sucks on what tastes like literal heaven. Since when have 2-dollar popsicles tasted this good?
“Hey, so that was actually my popsicle,” Gabe says while snatching it back to take his rightful bites.
“Holy shit, if you’re going to steal my popsicle, don’t fucking chomp down on it,” William responds with a disgusted look on his face while snatching it back. He doesn’t mean to come off so harshly, but the heat has spiked his irritation to a level he didn’t know existed.
It doesn’t seem like Gabe cares, though, because he just smiles back at William. Gabe has always had this uncanny understanding of him that scares William, but it’s also why William finds himself always running back to him.
“I have zero idea where the belief that the popsicle I bought with my own two dollars was yours. Also, I bite my popsicles because I get hungry, and my tongue feels weird if I lick them for too long,” Gabe muttered while falling back against the couch and putting his hands behind his head.
William rolls his eyes while continuing to suck on his popsicle. “Well, my teeth get sensitive, and I want the flavor to last,” William counters before sitting back against the couch fully as well.
Gabe huffs out a laugh and looks over at William with a look in his eyes that William has been missing: a look of fondness.
“God, it’s hot as shit”.
October 25th, 2007:
“God, that’s hot as shit”.
Gabe sometimes can’t believe his luck, especially in moments like these, where he’s watching the most beautiful person ever suck him off.
They’re in some random state for Sleeping With Giants, and other than watching William do his thing on stage, this part of the night has been his favorite by far over the course of the tour.
“That’s it, so good for me,” Gabe groans while sinking his hand deep into William's hair. William looks up at him with the most enticing look in his eyes, swirls his tongue around the underside of Gabe’s cock, and hums a little, which sends vibrations throughout Gabe’s body.
Gabe lets out a moan, which encourages William to take him down even more, inching his hands over Gabe’s lower torso. He rubs his thumbs between the crevices of Gabe’s V-lines and stuffs his nose in the curly hair trailing down to the base of Gabe’s cock and moans.
William knows exactly where to suck and exactly what veins to trace with his tongue to make Gabe shiver and moan. It’s why they’re so perfect together. Gabe would like to say he knows William's body just as well; he knows his ribs are sensitive and there’s this spot behind his left ear that makes him giggle every time Gabe rubs against it.
He wants to do this forever. With William. Fuck around in hotel rooms and learn more about each other's bodies than either of them learned in school. Watch the lights of the city brighten as he memorizes the flicker of sensation in William’s eyes when he comes.
September 20th, 2002:
“This is going to be so fun,” Adam says for the 15th time on the 54-minute drive up to Chicago. He is seriously spazzing, but William is too focused on the road to worry about whether Adam needs to get on ADHD medication.
William is also too busy overthinking what he’s wearing, trying to remember how much money he has in his wallet currently, and calculating how mad his parents realistically will be if they found out he was skipping school to go to a Midtown show.
God, he was shitting on Adam two seconds ago for being a spaz over seeing Midtown, but the excitement is coursing through his veins just the same. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s seen them; William had fortunately been able to convince his parents to get tickets when they were in New York at the same time as them. But he’d been stuck at the back of the venue with barely any view of the stage or Gabe.
That’s why this time, things are going to be different. He specifically forced Adam to leave the house at dawn so they could do everything in their power to get close to the stage. (William also wanted to make sure his parents didn't catch on that he wasn’t going to school).
As William starts to pull into the parking lot of The Metro, he already spots some sort of line outside of people who had the same idea as him. He knew he shouldn’t have complied with Adam's constant whining for McDonald's breakfast.
William slams the car door and starts to head for the line with the closest thing between a jog and speed walk there is, while Adam follows closely behind.
“Holy shit, and I thought we were here early,” Adam chokes out while sliding down next to William on the ground.
“We are here early. Just not early enough. I hope you enjoyed that McMuffin,” William replies while pulling out his wallet to make sure he has at least 30 more dollars for the rest of the night. After getting settled, William tells Adam he’s going to nap, but instead of sleeping, William’s mind drifts somewhere else.
William thinks that he may or may not have developed somewhat of a weird obsession with Gabe Saporta. He doesn’t want to call it a crush, obviously, but William seriously is enamored with the guy. Obviously, his music is amazing and his stage presence is incredible, and yeah, he is also really good looking–
So, maybe William sort of has a crush on him. But he’s been trying to ignore that for a while because he isn’t trying to prove the kids in the halls who call him slurs right. Gabe is also a somewhat celebrity whom William has no chance with, so that’s just another reason on the list of why it isn’t a crush.
But that's not going to stop William from trying to get the attention of the singer. He’s got nothing to lose except maybe his dignity. He's not even in town, no one to see him and report back to everyone at Barrington High that William Beckett was trying to seduce another man. Other than Adam T. Siska, who is quite literally the nicest and least judgmental person he knows.
Before they know it, the doors are opening, and William is shoving his way through the crowds of people to get to the barricade while dragging Adam along with him. As soon as he reaches the gate, he stops holding his breath, and he can feel his body relaxing.
That relaxation in his body lasts around 25 seconds until he remembers that now he has to rack his brain on how to get Gabe’s attention. He’s worn a looser-fitting shirt that you could maybe see down if you tried? He wasn’t really sure what attracts other men, so he just thought about what girls do that boys like.
And as soon as William reflects on his chosen methods of seduction, it hits him that he doesn’t even know if Gabe is into guys. Hell, he isn’t even sure if he is.
Then, William looks around the venue and notices that nobody, not even Adam, is paying attention to him, which reminds him that whatever he does tonight won’t matter tomorrow. Unless he succeeds in having Gabe fall in love with him, and something crazy happens.
So, William unbuttons the top two buttons of his shirt, messes around with his hair a bit, and leans forward on the gate to wait for the show to start.
The show starts pretty well, William would say, not paying much attention to the openers, but he can tell that Adam is into the entire scene, which puts a smile on William's face. And then Midtown comes on.
William has never been this close to Gabe, and the excitement of it has him brainstorming how to save up money for Midtown shows and gas for the future. The shine of sweat forming on Gabe’s neck, the thick veins visible on his arms, and a serene stage presence convince William he’s looking at a god, convinced that there was no way he could be human.
As the set goes on, he can feel his ribs bruising under the pressure of the girls behind him pushing him to get a better view of the stage. He is also convinced he has made eye contact with Gabe at least 4 times. The fifth time, he knows for sure the eye contact wasn’t his imagination because Gabe ends up winking at him, and William can feel butterflies swarming through his stomach.
As William’s confidence has peaked and ideas are starting to form on how to sneak into an after-show party, he feels Adam shifting beside him. Not dancing or moving normally, but straight up trying to crowd surf.
“What the fuck.” William wants to shout or yell at Adam to get down. Usually, he wouldn’t care because crowd surfing isn’t a big deal, but he’s pretty sure he can lock this Gabe situation down, so he doesn’t want to fuck anything up.
And as soon as it happens, it ends, because Adam is getting punched right in the balls.
Safe to say they left immediately after. With William banning any conversation on the car ride home, and Adam groaning with a frozen bag of peas bought from the closest Walmart in his lap.
February 13th, 2008:
“Just go home! Just go away,” William screams as he storms into his kitchen. If Gabe’s going to complain and be an asshole, he doesn’t need to be intruding on William’s space.
“No, you owe me an explanation, I haven’t even done anything, and you’re acting like a total bitch to me,” Gabe obviously is close on his tail, the kitchen island creating a barrier between the two. “I come into town, hoping to spend some time with my fri-,”
“Get the hell out, Gabe,” William cuts him off before he can finish whatever bullshit he was about to spew. William feels crazy. Gabe is a walking paradox. Do normal friends fly into town just to see each other, the day before Valentine's Day? Or does Gabe just want to play around with William’s feelings some more?
“What the fuck is going on? What did I fucking do?” Gabe is walking around the kitchen island to talk face-to-face with William, but it’s obvious Gabe isn’t willing to see things from William’s perspective, and honestly, William doesn’t know if he even wants to get into it.
“You just think everything’s a fucking game, Gabe. Do you even know what day it is tomorrow?” William spins around frantically, facing Gabe and studying his face. He has this sad yet desperate look in his eye, but William isn’t falling for it this time.
“Wh- like no? When do I ever know what day it is?” Quickly fumbling in his pocket and opening his sidekick, Gabe’s eyes widen, and his cluelessness has William starting to storm out of his own house. “God, William, where are you going?”
Grabbing his keys, William starts to consider this because he actually doesn’t know. It’s 4 degrees outside, he is wearing a tight, short-sleeved shirt with sweatpants, and he only has 4 dollars and a sticker Gabe found on the Chicago O’Hare floor that he said reminded him of William in his wallet.
“Literally anywhere but here. I don’t want to look like an idiot anymore,” William says before slamming the door and running to the elevator. He doesn’t want Gabe to follow him.
He knows he won’t, Gabe (sometimes) knows his place, and when William needs space. So, William is now walking in the freezing streets of Chicago with tears forming in his eyes.
The most embarrassing part is that he thought Gabe had this planned. That they were going to go out for a nice dinner or watch shitty movies together while eating Gabe’s weird food combos and making out.
So when Gabe came into his apartment lacking flowers or William’s favorite chocolate (what can he say, he’s a hopeless romantic at heart), William knew he had the wrong idea. Gabe proves this even further by going into detail about how he is so glad he doesn’t have a relationship going on currently because he has been spending more time with his new dog. His dog.
William then reminds himself that they are not dating. They just have this weird, homoerotic friendship thing going on.
William spends Valentine’s 2008 eating cheap Chinese food while watching cheesy movies by himself. He doesn’t know where Gabe went, and he tells himself he doesn’t care.
(He still packed Gabe’s bags and made sure he didn’t forget anything, also giving him a small smile goodbye when he came to pick his stuff up. It’s the closest he will get to waving the white flag. He hates when Gabe calls him stubborn because it’s true.)
January 7th, 2009:
Gabe unlocks the apartment door and is immediately greeted with the smell of baked goods. Wandering into the kitchen, he spots a focused William Beckett with flour on his nose and a messy apron that displays a cute design of a cat wearing a chef's hat. How cliché.
“You look cute,” William shoots up, startled, and Gabe watches him relax as soon as he realizes it’s just him.
“I seriously don’t know what I’m doing. How do you decorate a birthday cake?” William puts on his focused face again and goes back to mixing the blue food color into his homemade icing.
“Why are you doing this? I didn’t take you as someone who bakes on Monday afternoons,” Gabe asks while walking behind him to wrap his arms around William’s midsection.
“I’m not. But it’s Adam’s birthday tomorrow, and I want to be a nice friend,” William replies while continuing his decorating, moving along as if Gabe hadn’t attached himself to him. “He’s been my friend for so long, and I’ve never baked a cake, so I felt inspired to”.
“You’re too cute, Bilvy. Where was my birthday cake?” Gabe whines while nuzzling his nose into the crook between William's neck and shoulder. He’s being clingy for no reason other than to annoy William. And because he missed him.
“Did you miss the part where I said I have no idea what I’m doing? This is new to me, and if I made you a cake, I would want it to be perfect,” William cooed somewhat sarcastically while finally acknowledging Gabe’s presence and turning around. William lands a chaste peck on Gabe’s lips and hugs him back, avoiding placing his hands on Gabe because of the sticky residue residing on them.
Gabe basks in the warmth of his personal sun, smelling the warm scent of sugar and home William always emits. He’s missed him; he should probably tell him that.
“I missed you”.
“I missed you, too,” William responds, pressing closer into Gabe. He’s just as warm as he makes Gabe feel. Then William removes himself from the hug to finish his decorating, and it feels like the sun is setting.
Gabe wants to hang out in William’s apartment, which is located in the most random neighborhood in Chicago, til the end of time. They probably could, if Gabe could convince William to just quit life so they can master cake decorating, go out for bagels and coffee every morning, and pick up a hobby like painting or something.
They could be just William and Gabe. Not William Beckett from The Academy is… or Gabe Saporta from Cobra Starship (previously in Midtown). No cameras or crowds, just them. Doing things like accidentally burning dinner on the stove because they were busy talking on William’s apartment balcony.
William’s voice brings Gabe back to reality, saying how, “He doesn’t want to mess this up,” and “Adam has been one of the closest friends for so long”.
“It’s kind of ironic that you’re here right now while I’m doing this, considering how my favorite time I saw Midtown was with Adam,” William chirps, finishing a swirl of icing on the cake border. “We were at The Metro and I skipped school that day to drive up with him. But we had to leave early because he got punched in the balls”.
“I’ve heard this story a million times, but tell me more about it and your huge crush on me,” Gabe replies while releasing William to dig for food in the cupboards. He’s just joking when he says this, but he doesn’t miss the red that rushes into William’s cheeks.
“Shut up. No, but we never explained anything before the part where Adam gets punched,” William obviously is getting shy, raising his upper back more and putting his face closer to the cake while icing it to fold into himself just a little bit more. He looks like a scared cat; all he’s missing is the spiked-up tail.
Gabe’s interest is piqued, curious to hear what more there could be to this story, Gabe has yet to hear. Don’t get him wrong, the story is funny, but he isn’t sure what else could be said about it.
“So, right before Adam turned me off from crowd surfing forever, I was fully convinced I was gonna sneak into the show’s after party and start up a conversation with you or something more, I don’t know. But I was also in high school and not even sure if I even liked boys. Although that barricade spot and Gabe Saporta winking at me really had me plotting.”
“Like you definitely don’t even remember that show or who I was, and I was insanely delusional looking back on it, but I don’t know-” William keeps speeding up his rambling because he’s obviously getting flustered, so Gabe walks closer to him and starts hugging and crooning in his face again.
“Baby William was such a cutie. If my memory wasn’t so shit, I definitely would’ve remembered— because who could forget such a cute face!” Gabe keeps squeezing William, making him laugh, which makes him fuck up an icing dollop.
“Obviously you could”.
“No, I just don't remember anything that happened in fuck-ass Chicago before I found you.”
December 20th, 2006:
William stumbles into the restaurant while letting out a breath. It’s around negative 2 degrees outside, and the group had chosen the first restaurant that didn’t look too crowded or abandoned.
He follows behind the group of Cobras and Academy Is boys and falls into the seat on the end next to Gabe.
Gabe and he have been having this weird relationship going on. They’ve hooked up a few—well, more than a few times, William has stolen at least 15 articles of Gabe’s clothing, and they’ve been playing around in plain sight.
For example, Gabe had wrapped his pinky around William’s, and William had then grabbed onto Gabe’s whole hand under the table. Gabe let go, and now he has placed his hand on William’s thigh.
William is trying not to turn completely red, laying his head on his hand to face away from the table. Gabe keeps squeezing and rhythmically taps his thigh, all while inching upwards.
“William, what are you thinking about over there?” Carden asks while inching the bowl of bread towards him. “Nom nom, I know you’re hungry,”
“Ew, Mike,” William replies while grabbing a piece of bread. He has to sit up slightly because Mike is across the table, which leads Gabe to tighten his hold on Williams' thigh.
William stuffs the bread in his mouth to hold back any noises that are creeping into the back of his throat as Gabe inches his hand further up. Mike makes a grossed-out face and calls William a caveman.
“Go suck a dick, Mike.”
“Isn’t that your specialty?” Mike responds, causing the whole table to chuckle. William doesn’t understand what’s so funny, but he can hear Gabe stifling a laugh. All William can think about is how Gabe better watch what he does next because one wrong move and he’ll be missing out on pre-show quickies for the foreseeable future.
Thankfully, Gabe realizes William probably wants him to say something and remarks, “You've been fantasizing lately, Carden?”
Giggles bounce around the table, and William smirks, just for Mike to say, “We both know that between the two of us that I’ve fantasized less about William sucking me off than you have.” William makes a grossed-out face at the discussion of him sucking people off, especially Mike of all people. “But, I guess it’s easier to fantasize about things that have already happened”.
The table goes silent, and it seems like everyone is too scared to laugh because of how serious Mike sounds. Then all of a sudden, Gabe bursts out laughing, which causes a domino effect throughout the group. Even William is giggling, even though the jokes and jabs have centered around William being on his knees for another man.
Even with his annoyance, there is still a piece inside William that’s giddy over Mike's jokes; even though they basically just called him gay as shit. Only because he also implied that he and Gabe are gay together. Which counts as a small win in his books.
Wow. He is totally down bad.
The conversation settles back into how it was before, everyone chattering amongst each other, and William becomes suddenly hyper aware of the hand resting on his upper thigh. He is close to popping a boner in the middle of this restaurant, so before he embarrasses himself, he excuses himself to the restaurant to cool off and deal with the problem at hand.
Once he clicks the lock of the bathroom, he takes a deep breath while adjusting his hair near his face. A few seconds after calming himself down, he hears a knock on the door that he immediately recognizes. It's two knocks and a slight kick on the door, a signal he has grown used to due to Gabe’s insistent explanations that they need a secret knock that only the two knew about.
Opening the door, Gabe immediately enters his space and presses his lips against his own. He turns William around and pushes him against the bathroom door while sliding a hand behind him to lock the door. William groans into the kiss, arching off the door into Gabe’s touch and wrapping his arms around his neck. So much for cooling off.
They’re kissing roughly and intentionally, Gabe grabbing William’s ass while William bites Gabe’s lower lip each time they pull away for air. William can feel himself getting hard, and he knows Gabe can feel him too. Gabe moves his hand, squeezing his ass to press against William’s growing erection, which makes William feel dizzy. Gabe is trying to unbuckle William’s belt and jeans with one hand, which he struggles to do, so William breaks the kiss and fumbles with the buckle while Gabe goes to kiss his neck.
“Why are your jeans so fucking tight?” Gabe groans as he reaches for William’s cock once they pull his jeans to half-mast. He starts to stroke William, thumbing over the precum that gathered at the head of his slit before gliding down the length of his cock.
“Obviously to impress you,” William replies with the most sarcasm he can muster, which isn’t much because his mind and effort are currently being put into not moaning loudly because he is still very much aware they are basically in public. His breathing is shallow, and he knows he is getting close, especially with the way Gabe is whispering how perfect William is, his breath hot on William’s neck. Gabe is pressing his own hard-on against William’s thigh, finding relief in the pressure against the solidity of it. Gabe bites the space behind William’s left ear, and it pushes him over the edge, spilling into Gabe’s hand.
“So, so good for me, Bilvy. You’re so beautiful.” Gabe continues to mouth against William’s neck while rubbing against his thigh as well. As William comes out of his post-orgasm haze, he notices the desperation in Gabe’s movements, leading him to reach his own hand into Gabe’s pants. Turns out Gabe was closer than William thought, because he immediately comes at William’s touch.
“Eager?” William jokes while tucking himself back in and pulling his pants back up. Gabe makes a half-sneer at him and pushes himself off William. He heads over to the sink and splashes some water on his face.
“Can’t help myself when you look like that,” Gabe responds with a shrug, while heading back over to William to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear. “It was also hard for me not to get turned on when the whole table is thinking about you blowing me.”
“The way no one was thinking that.” William bites back with red creeping into his cheeks. He forgot about the part where everyone at the table probably took what Mike said into consideration. He also forgot about the part where everyone at the table has definitely noticed their absence, but he isn’t sure how much he cares anymore.
“Keep telling yourself that, Babe.” Gabe winks while unlocking the door to head back to the table. “And maybe fix your hair or spray some of that febreze on, you smell like you just got fucked.”
The door shuts, and William is left staring at the door. He starts smiling to himself while knowing that him coming out smelling like sex won’t change what everyone already knows.
August 16th, 2008,
“It’s actually about making love to Gabe Saporta after the last Midtown show”.
Hey! That’s me.
“Yeah, yeah, just to put it to rest, yes, that’s what the song’s about,” William comments while rolling his eyes, and then proceeds to fake blowing his brains out.
Wait, what?
Gabe shuts his computer, and it’s safe to say he’s pissed. Was he expecting William to admit it was about him? No. But he didn’t have to act so disgusted at the thought of being with Gabe. Holy shit, he should not be this mad about a fucking interview.
Late nights where Gabe would buy a pack of Marlboros and William would sit close by. Under the fluorescent street lamp light, the two would sit in silence, Gabe blowing smoke into Williams' mouth every once in a while.
Midday discussions of how touring together felt like home. Random mentions of how William could go anywhere with Gabe, and he would still feel that same comfort he got when in Barrington.
Was it so wrong to believe the song was about him? It’s not like William hasn’t inspired numerous of his. Honestly, if any poet, lyricist, or writer had the pleasure of knowing William, they’d write paragraphs upon paragraphs about him, too.
He’s not going to blame William for getting annoyed at the question, but Gabe can be sensitive when he wants, and this struck a nerve for some reason. Maybe it’s because William is always so quick to dispel talk about them while Gabe entertains it.
Gabe’s a hopeless romantic at heart. What can he say?
Then, his phone starts ringing.
“Hi, baby, what are you up to?” Gabe is so mad at him.
“What do you want, William?” Gabe replies as cold as he can muster. It doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would.
“Uh, what’s the problem? No need for the ‘tude,” William is rummaging through shit in the background, and Gabe wants to ask what he’s doing, but he’s going to stand his ground this time.
Usually, Gabe folds immediately when he’s mad at William; his hazel eyes or soft voice tend to be his downfall.
“I should be asking you. Saw your cute interview from the other day. Looked pretty grossed out by the thought of me, so I’m surprised you’re talking to me,” Gabe tries to put on more of a joking tone to hide his frustration and sadness, but he doesn’t know how well it worked.
William takes a second to answer, probably thinking about which interview of the many he had to do over the past few weeks. “Oh. That. Gabe, you have to understand it gets annoying. I mean, all my work gets misconstrued—”
“So none of that song had anything to do with me? None of it? What the fuck is a Midtown show then? I’m just—”
“It seriously doesn’t matter! Why do you care so much?”
Gabe pauses before he answers now, trying to think of a way to articulate why he is so upset. He writes and sings for a living, so why is it so hard for him right now? Before he can answer, William is shouting at him again.
“I mean, you have no problem going on interviews, talking about how you aren’t gay and how sexuality is a spectrum! That you’re just trying to prove a point by kissing your guy friends!” William finishes that point with a scoff, and Gabe can see his face. A shocked smile in disbelief with his eyebrows scrunched just a tiny bit. Ten bucks he’s nodding his head no in condescension as well. “Why is it so different when it’s me, huh?”
Gabe can tell by the rising hysteria in William’s voice that he should probably stop. Apologize for starting a fight and ask William how his day has been. But, isn't communication key?
“It’s different because—“ but before Gabe can elaborate on how it’s different, he realizes he actually doesn’t know. He wants to say because it’s clear that William doesn’t like Gabe back or something along those lines, but that sounds too desperate even in his head.
“Because how? Or wait, there is no difference! Fuck this. Figure your shit out and talk to me when you do.”
“You called me.”
“You know what I fucking meant—”
Gabe hangs up.
November 12th, 2004:
It’s the last day of opening with Midtown, and William feels on top of the world. He can feel things are finally looking up. He is playing alongside people and bands he has admired for years, the crowd actually knows the lyrics to his songs, and people are coming up to him after the show to ask for photos. It feels like the ending to the prologue of his career, and the real story is about to begin unfolding.
But like most endings, it is a little bittersweet. Tonight was his last time he got to be around Gabe in ways that weren't just watching him perform. William was actually able to talk to Gabe and, in his humble opinion, they seemed to hit it off pretty well. They talked about everything: from what their favorite restaurant in their respective hometowns is to what drives them to be a better person.
When the tour had started, William was between chasing Gabe and running away from him. He never failed to say hi to Gabe when he saw him, but always avoided being alone with him. He always lingered a little too long when they had passing touches but always rejected invitations to after show parties. Becoming friends with your (old?) celebrity crush is not an easy thing.
But after a while, everything surrounding Gabe became easier and William was able to converse with Gabe alone without saying he had to go talk to Mike or use the restroom so he could run away. One night, William stayed behind to help Gabe clean up his bus after his party had ended. They had fallen into a comfortable silence while William picked up beer bottles to throw away, when Gabe had suddenly started mummering about whatever came to mind. William would hum in reply, too tired to engage in a full conversation, but he was listening intently regardless. During his quiet rambling, Gabe had mentioned to him how he had been wanting vodka really badly throughout the tour, specifically Ketel One because it brings him back to an easier time.
William is a good listener. Which is why he has a bottle of Ketel One vodka in his hand to give to Gabe as a thank you present. Before he gives the bottle to Gabe, he starts to worry that he is going to think William is weird for remembering a random, offhand comment he made while drunk. Or maybe he will think William is weird for even giving him a present in the first place. Is that a normal thing to do? Or is William just overthinking everything again? Either way, the present has been bought, and it's not like William is the one who wants it; matter of fact, he isn’t even legally able to drink it.
So William takes a breath, sucks down his nerves, and heads over to Midtown’s bus with the bottle behind his back. The show had finished a little while ago, and everyone was heading out for one final drink with The Academy boys, so he needed to catch Gabe before they all got hammered.
Entering the bus, he notices a lack of movement and noise, except for the sound of running water from the sink. William enters deeper into the bus and spots a glimpse of Gabe washing his face with just his jeans on. The sight has William’s face turning hot and reminds him of why he had (or has) such a huge infatuation with Gabe.
Looking up from the sink, Gabe turns to walk out of the bathroom and looks down the hallway, making eye contact with William. “Fuck, you scared me! What’s up, Bill?”.
“William.” Gabe just walks closer to him and starts laughing. William can’t help but admire the chest in front of him, fighting the urge to tug on his ear out of nervousness. Tom has been commenting on the nervous tic more often, so William has tried to become more aware of doing it to stop the habit.
“One day, I will find a nickname for you, and you will let me call you it. Mark my words.”
“Will is such a strong word. Don’t be so confident, Saporta.” William smirks while shrugging his shoulders as much as he can without making it too obvious he’s hiding something behind his back. It’s not really working.
“What’s behind your back, Will?”
“Nope, hate that.”
“What’s behind your back, William?”
“I got you a little thank-you present for having us tour with you,” William reveals the vodka, and the toothy smile on Gabe’s face causes all of William’s stress to leave his body.
Gabe takes the bottle out of William’s hand and studies it before looking up at William again, maintaining his wide smile. Gabe immediately starts cooing at William. “Aren’t you the cutest, most thoughtful, perfect person ever? No one has ever done this for us, well, buying us a thank you present.”
The hyperbolic language has William turning red at a rapid speed, and he keeps tucking the same piece of hair behind his ear over and over. “Well, obviously, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate it. Seriously, this is all I have ever wanted, and even if you didn’t realize it, you had a part in helping. I know vodka doesn’t fully encapsulate my gratitude, but–”.
Before William can finish his rambling, Gabe is walking over to him and grabbing his face to litter his face with quick pecks. William is stunned, and he can’t do anything but stand there in shock. Gabe finishes attacking his face with… his lips and walks over to the kitchenette and starts talking before William has time to fully process what just happened.
“Drink some of this with me. Let’s pregame a little before we have to go drink with everyone else”. Gabe pours the vodka into two vodka glasses, still smiling. “You even remembered what brand I wanted! Thank you, William.” Gabe walks back over and sits on the couch, shooting back his glass while he sits down. William walks over to sit next to him, still blushing from the unexpected affection from Gabe.
“What can I say, I'm a pretty good listener.” William takes the glass from Gabe’s hand and gulps down his shot. Hiccuping, William says, “I’m not even allowed to be drinking this”.
“You’re 19, who cares. Not like you haven’t before.” Gabe laughs and then pauses, William can then see contemplation on Gabe’s face. “Wait a second, how’d you even get this? And don’t say your fake ID because I’ve seen it and not even a blind person would be sold”.
“Don’t even worry about it”.
“Oh, I won’t, Babe.” William doesn’t argue against that nickname.
June 9th, 2006:
Gabe walks up to the hotel room that is presumably William’s and knocks twice with a slight kick after. He has been pressing William for them to create a specialized knock for each other. Mainly because the only person he’ll open the door up for is William. After a few seconds of shifting from one foot to the other while looking around the empty hallway, William opens the door with a rumpled shirt and messy hair. Gabe can’t help but grin out of fondness and adoration for the sight in front of him.
“It is.” William starts, but gets cut off with a yawn. “Four A.M in the morning. What do you want?” He’s not mad, just seems grumpy from being awoken from his sleep.
“You don’t even care I’m here.” Gabe fake pouts, and William responds silently with an unimpressed look. “I guess I’ll just go back out into the streets, do some drugs with the homeless, and then die. Sigh.” Gabe stuffs his hands in his pockets and makes it seem like he's about to walk away until he hears a disgruntled sigh come from the barely awake figure in the doorway.
“Don’t be annoying, Gabe. Just come in.” William is turning away, walking back to the comfort of the warm bed in the dark room. Gabe examines the LA hotel room William has booked his stay at, boring and small, with small accents of William all over. Articles of clothing littered around, the old laptop sitting on the small office desk, and the smell of vanilla. (Gabe has asked numerous times why William smells like vanilla and if he wears perfume.) (William has expressed numerous times that he does not wear perfume, which confuses Gabe even more. It also solidifies the fact that the boy is just perfect all around.)
“So why are you here again?” William asks while climbing back into bed and under the covers. He is using all four pillows to build a mini fort around him, along with the duvet over his head, leading to just his face sticking out. And a few stray pieces of hair. He is just the cutest ever.
Toeing his shoes off and unbuckling his jeans, Gabe answers, “I just wanted to cuddle with you”. He isn’t even lying. He was supposed to go home tonight because they had finished shooting the Snakes on a Plane music video on Tuesday, but he knew William was filming his own music video the next day. So what's one more day with one of his favorite people? Taking off his jeans, Gabe heads over to the bed to climb in with William.
While trying to climb in, he notices how William is in the dead center of the bed. He also notices that William is making no effort to move over to make space for Gabe. And it doesn’t seem like he is planning to anytime soon. Stubborn bastard.
“No. You sleep on the coach. I need my beauty rest, which you interrupted”.
Gabe whines and tries to hug William over the thick duvet. “Pleaseee. I just wanted to hang out with my snuggle buddy”. William whines back at Gabe’s attempts to encroach on his space.
“No. Not right now. Bye”. William flips over and hides his face from the world. Gabe is still smiling even though he is being denied the opportunity to lie next to a personal heater. He makes his way over to the coach, grabbing William’s computer on his way. He sits down and opens a browser to log into his LiveJournal to write an entry about his little journey here. He writes some bullshit about why he is crashing on William’s couch, settling with the truth at the end because there’s no way for his fans to know if he's joking or not.
After putting away the computer and adjusting himself for a painful night on the couch, Gabe closes his eyes to drift off to sleep until he hears shuffling coming from the lump on the bed.
In a soft and quiet voice, William whispers, “You know I don’t mind if you sleep here”. Gabe tries not to laugh because he knows William does mind, but he just wants company more than comfort. But can’t those be the same thing? Gabe doesn’t respond just because he wants to tease and get some more from William. “Okay. Fine. I do want to snuggle. Is that better?”.
Gabe laughs while standing up and slowly walks to the bed, while William finally moves over. Well, moving over is a stretch; he scooches two inches to the left to make room for Gabe. Gabe sits on the bed and undoes William’s duvet cocoon so they can share the blanket. William complies and inches closer to Gabe as he settles under the blanket. William lays his cheek on Gabe’s chest and throws an arm over Gabe’s stomach. They melt into each other, basking in each other’s warmth. Gabe feels William’s breath even out, which confirms that he is officially out for the night. Gabe shifts his weight onto his right side and throws an arm over William to spoon him.
All Gabe can think about before passing out is how this was the best idea he has had all trip.
June 11th, 2007:
William and Gabe stumble into the hotel room unceremoniously, rapid breathing and sudden gasps filling the silent room upon entrance. William has a hand under Gabe’s shirt, skimming the hard muscles on Gabe’s chest with his hand. Gabe is kissing along the length of William’s throat, his hands finding their way down to William’s ass. Gabe’s hot breath sends goosebumps throughout William's body, and he begs to whatever higher power there is that this moment will never end.
William removes his hands from Gabe’s chest and fists the curly hair at the back of Gabe’s neck. Gabe’s tongue licks the seam of William’s lips as a silent plea for entrance, which William happily obliges to; opening his mouth for Gabe to explore. They’ve done this a lot, more times than either of them can count, but each time the feeling of desperation and eagerness has William feeling like this is the first time he’s had the opportunity to feel Gabe’s lips against his own.
The two make out against the door for what feels like hours until their movements become noticeably more desperate, so William begins to lead Gabe to the bed. Their nights on tour always seem to end like this: together in bed, panting into each other's mouths, and silent begs for more filling the room.
William leads Gabe slowly until his knees hit the bed, causing William to fall onto his back. Gabe follows step, climbing onto the bed and boxing William beneath him. He grinds against William while kissing down William’s neck more. Gabe sucks a few marks at William's collarbones, and he lets out a soft noise from the back of his throat. “Here, let me–” William backs away from Gabe’s touch, eliciting a whine from Gabe, so he can pull off his own shirt. Gabe follows suit and strips off his shirt as well, unbuckling his belt in the process.
Gabe begins to kiss the skin previously covered by William’s shirt, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking. William places a hand in Gabe’s hair, rubbing his thumb around his temples, causing a look of relaxation to cross Gabe’s face. Gabe removes his mouth and replaces it with his thumb, then continues to kiss down William’s chest. His tongue is moving diligently and with intent, seemingly mapping out William’s torso with just his mouth.
Gabe mouths at William’s ribs, causing heat to pool into William’s abdomen. Gabe knows his ribs are sensitive, and he’s abusing that knowledge to evoke small whimpers from William. William’s eyes shut, and his mind begins to wonder. He starts to think about how the ribs that Gabe Saporta is currently kissing are the same ones William had bruised while watching Gabe perform at The Metro. The lips that hum along to the Midtown lyrics he fell in love with are the same ones that have kissed the lips of the voice behind those lyrics. The surrealness of it all takes William for a small mental loop, no matter how many times they have done this same thing.
“Bilvy, you with me?” William opens his eyes and finally realizes Gabe has stopped kissing down his stomach and is instead looking up at him with slight concern in his eyes. Well, the concern is barely visible behind the lust clouding his dark eyes.
“Hey, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.” William sits up a little while tightening the grip in Gabe’s hair, pulling Gabe up to meet his lips. They lick slowly inside each other's mouths, Gabe occasionally biting at his bottom lip. “Help me not?” William whispers, pressing his fingertips harder into Gabe’s skull.
“That, I can do,” Gabe responds while unbuckling William’s jeans, pulling them off, smiling when realizing William has gone commando. Gabe presses three fingers to William’s mouth, a silent demand for him to open his mouth to suck on his fingers, which William obeys. He drools and coats his fingers with as much spit as he can, eyes rolling back as if he’s mimicking blowing Gabe. While William sucks on Gabe’s fingers, Gabe has reached down to stroke William’s cock, which leaves him moaning around Gabe’s fingers.
Gabe removes his fingers from the heat of William’s mouth and presses them past his rim, earning a moan from William. He moves the two fingers in and out of William, pressing deeper than William can when he does this to himself. The sweet stretch Gabe’s fingers provide leaves William arching, only for Gabe to press down on William’s stomach with his free hand. As Gabe holds William in place, his mind starts to fog, and all he can think about is how Gabe’s fingers feel inside of him. And all that can come out of his mouth are pleas for more.
“Please, Gabe. Fuck, let’s go—please,” As William reaches his breaking point, Gabe extracts his fingers while hoisting William’s hips up to get better situated. The act in itself has William going limp, yielding his armor and arsenal to receive what Gabe has to offer him, but the pressure of Gabe entering him has William completely flaccid. Gabe coats his sweet nothings in his rough voice, meaningful kisses over William’s body with chapped lips.
Gabe gives William what he asks for when he can, but always makes sure to provide above and beyond in bed, setting the perfect pace and tone, as if he knows exactly what William needs. Gabe continues to pound into William at a gradual yet deep pace, only pulling at his hair occasionally so William will make eye contact with him. Despite Gabe’s efforts, William feels too debilitated from pleasure to even open his eyes, just using this time close to Gabe to remember the way he breaths when pushing into him and the feeling of his sweat occasionally falling onto William.
William doesn’t know exactly why his thoughts have been wandering to memorizing Gabe’s movements instead of relishing them in the moment; he doesn’t know where the sudden fear that Gabe could disappear the next day stemmed from. That if he lets his eyes leave Gabe for one second, he’ll be lost in the crowd forever. He's scared.
And just as William’s breathing begins to pick up, and not from arousal, Gabe is holding him closer and whispering, “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” drawing out a pathetic whine from William. He’s convinced Gabe can read his mind. Which is why Gabe pulls sharper on the chestnut curls forming at the back of William’s hair and digs his fingernails deeper into William’s hipbones.
The meeting of hips and pressure against William’s prostate creates the familiar feeling of heat pooling in his stomach, leaving William to choke out barely audible gasps, alerting Gabe that he’s close.
And as much as Gabe likes to provide for WIlliam, he always takes his chance to draw the experience out as much as he possibly can, which is why refuses to touch William’s cock. Gabe watches as William desperately presses himself against his cock, pleas not even slipping out of his mouth anymore, just a silent scream. And finally, like when a wave crashes against a rock, William’s frantic push meets Gabe’s intentional thrust, leaving William shaking and crying.
The world is fuzzy and soft, and William feels nothing but bliss while he registers Gabe wildly thrusting into him; one final, sloppy thrust pushing him over the edge.
Gabe falls on top of William and forces his face into the crevice between William’s left shoulder and neck, and William swears he hears Gabe murmur something against his neck.
“What was that?” William whispers back, dangerously close to passing out right there without even cleaning off the drying cum on his stomach.
“I think I love you,” Gabe casually mumbles.
William doesn’t know if it's the post-orgasmic haze that has him say what he does next, or if it’s a sudden realization that reflects what he deep down has always known, but either way it comes out raw and true.
“I think I do, too”.
It’s the closest he can get to saying it right now. He’s so scared of everything. The life he has in the public eye. The life he has in Chicago. But in this moment, his feelings for Gabe override those fears, and some part of him believes that one day he’ll be able to say it back with no regrets.