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All you could think was that you had made a mistake. Actually, no. Well, yes. Ugh. It was complicated, not to mention a royal pain in more ways than one.
You held that there had been no error on your part. That much you would never rescind. You had absolutely no doubt, not even a shadow of a doubt at the time, that you were ready, and it followed that whatever mental preparation you felt like you would need only ended up being superfluous, because it had finally happened. Your eagerness had overwhelmed your insecurities, and you had gone along with it, even though you should have predicted, if not outright known for an inevitability, that such misgivings would eventually resurface at the worst possible time.
That had been your fault, but how could you blame yourself when such a concern was still only just simmering at the very back of your mind? Ugh. Even when the complications had first arisen, in all the strength of your resolve, you knew that your enthusiasm was no fluke. It was there, and it was real, and it was terrifying. Though perhaps even more frightening to you was the fact that you had let a delinquent between your thighs with the immature expectation that it would be an experience tender enough to rival even the most passionate of your lascivious fantasies, not an awkward, embarrassing mess of a first time.
You could hardly blame said delinquent, however, as he had never given you any reason to envision a princely sort of treatment regardless of the circumstances. Still, it was enough for you to conclude that even in all your years of oversight, you could hardly have been more gullible than you were at the moment you had decided to ask for sex. Ugh. Maybe that was why your body had decided to commit mutiny.
“Tch… You’re still way too tight. How many times have I told you to relax?” Hanamiya curled the two fingers he had inside you, flexing them deep against the tense lining of your inner walls. He pressed his palm flat against your slit to sink his knuckles deeper, scowling at the whimper it earned him even as he continued to scissor your folds through the hot clench of your entrance.
You let out a shaky breath and worked to push the discomfort out of your mind, but try as you did, it seemed impossible for you to will your body out of rejecting the intrusion. Every pronation of Hanamiya's wrist set off a wave of sensation in your core, one of equal parts heat and pain. Friction mingled with a hint of pleasure, but anxiety had your every muscle coiled into knots under your skin and padlocks around your spine, leaving you with just enough maladroit capability to keep you motionless with apprehension and speechless with ignominy.
You let out a sharp whine when you felt a third finger prod at the perimeter of your entrance, sinking into you at an all but agonizing pace that did nothing to help with the burn slowly threading through the pit of your stomach. The stretch turned tension into torment all over again, and though his impatience was no more unjustified than your own frustration, you still ended up with a bitter complaint lodged at the back of your throat when Hanamiya clicked his tongue for the umpteenth time that evening.
“Fucking hell, it’s like you want it to hurt.” He scoffed, rolling his palm to pump his fingers deeper through the heated throb of your inner walls. You felt your eyebrows furrow around a pang of derision as the motion slicked fire up and down the length of your spine, but in all the extent of your gracelessness, you could only huff angrily in response.
"Whatever. It's supposed to hurt anyway, right? So stop making such a big deal out of it."
Hanamiya let out a condescending laugh at that, and you realized far too late that arguing with him was nothing more than a futile struggle. Even so, as you pouted, you could feel the unwanted essence of a shy blush beginning to creep up the curves of your cheeks, leaving your face flushed and your expression altogether nonintimidating.
"You really are a virgin, aren’t you?” He sneered. "It's not supposed to hurt. It's supposed to feel good, dumbass."
That was true enough, though you hardly appreciated the ridicule.
“Well…” You slanted your gaze to the side. “Look, just quit worrying about me and get on with it. I’m tired of waiting.”
Hanamiya rolled his eyes.
"Are you actually a masochist? Because this could have been a hell of a lot more fun for the both of us if you had come clean about that from the start.”
“Damnit, Makoto…”
“I’m just saying.”
You exhaled a long sigh and allowed the disappointment in your veins to cool the sweat on your skin. Arousal was still thrumming through your core, emanating a sultry sort of heat that seemed to you like something both unbearable and revitalizing. It percolated through your flesh and reverberated through your chest, and suddenly you found yourself no longer able to separate the ache of want from the sting of distress.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you murmured, feeling the salty warmth of tears prick the corners of your eyes. Hanamiya frowned.
“Don’t cry, for fuck’s sake. It’s not cute, or sexy, or useful.”
You swallowed down the sourness on the back of your tongue and pressed your palms hard against your eyelids, hoping that somehow the weight of your hands would will away the lump of despair drawing your heart into your stomach. All it really did was make you feel even more pathetic as you bit your lip and sniveled.
“I just… really thought I was ready for this.” You sniffled, your voice thick with dejection. “I wanted you so bad and I wanted sleeping with you to be special… but in a good way, and not this…… fucking disaster.”
You let out a shaky sigh and clenched your jaw to bite back a sob, but Hanamiya stayed ominously silent even as he withdrew his fingers, pulling them out of you slow and slippery. You felt the mattress dip under his weight and the sheets beneath him rustle as he slid off the edge of the bed, and it only made your chest ache harder until his hands were there, firm against your thighs, and his breath was warm and humid against your slit.
Then, his tongue sank between your folds, and the cry you unleashed was not one of misery. Your hips bucked to meet his mouth, hot and wet as he lapped at your clit, and when he hummed around the taste of you, it rumbled through your core like silvery wings of thunder.
All of your tension, your strain, your every thought melted into bliss faster than you could blink away the salt clinging to your lashes. Your legs shook under the press of Hanamiya’s palms as his lips found your entrance, and the tears that flowed down your cheeks had long since been forgotten by you, because the way he kissed and sucked at the intricacies of your flesh left you wondering what disappointment even felt like anymore.
Your body seemed hot and foreign to you as his tongue worked you deeper into euphoria, and when he looked up at you, his eyes dark and rich and glassy, you nearly came then and there. Your cries could have pierced the sky if not for the hand you had clasped over your mouth, but nothing could silence the pleasured shudders that blanketed your spine in static and heat.
You moaned his name and he pulled away just far enough to say yours back, letting each syllable vibrate through the pit of your stomach along with the brush of his lips against your slit. When he finally brought his fingers down to caress your entrance, your folds parted around them like a lock and key. The slide came smooth and easy as you all but consumed his touch, and you swore you felt Hanamiya breathe a sigh of relief against your flesh, what with how fluidly your inner walls stretched through the drive of his wrist.
“That’s it,” he hummed, pausing momentarily to lick between your folds. “Fuck, I love how hot and wet you are for me…”
A whimper caught in your throat as he nipped at the quivering throb of your clit, catching arousal on his knuckles as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, and by the time he added a third alongside the first two, your chest was heaving through exertion and your limbs were shaking through need.
Your core pulsed with torturous intent when he drew back at last, his lips coated with so much moisture that it glistened under the glide of his tongue. You let out a low whine as his fingers retracted all too soon and the stimulation between your legs subsided, but you still found yourself watching keenly and yet through blurry eyes as Hanamiya knelt lower to procure a condom from under his bed.
He sank his teeth into the corner of the foil square and swiftly tore open the edge of the packaging, allowing a smirk to slip past the corners of his mouth when he heard your breathing quicken in anticipatory reaction. He rose to his feet and your gaze flicked down to find his erection standing tall and proud, but it was only exhilaration that coursed through your veins as your focus followed the roll of latex down the expanse of his shaft.
He tugged your hips to the edge of the mattress, pressing his own forward to slide the underside of his length over your thrumming clit. You arched your back into his touch and rocked against the head of his erection, feeling a spark of pride incite amber flames in your blood as he responded with a moan through closed lips. The moment was short-lived, however, because before you knew it, Hanamiya was hovering over you, one hand pinning your arms above your head while the other guided the tip of his length between your slick folds.
“Here’s what’s going to happen, princess,” he breathed, letting the intensity of his gaze bore into your skull. “You’re going to take my cock, every last inch of it, into that pretty little cunt of yours like the good girl you are. I’m going to fuck you as hard as I want to, make you come as many times as I want to, and you’re going to love every second of it.”
You dragged your teeth over your bottom lip and shuddered through a shaky moan as Hanamiya’s voice echoed in your ears, feeling your heart leap into your throat when he bowed his head to draw the peak of your breast into his mouth. He swirled his tongue over a quickly stiffening nipple before shifting to suck along the sweep of your flesh, kissing you hard enough to leave a trail of nips and hickeys from your chest to your collarbone.
His lips met yours in a feverish collision, passion clear in the way his tongue worked against your own in a battle for dominance. You could do little more than moan into his mouth, especially when he had been so cunning in capturing the hottest of breaths from your lungs, but you thought to yourself that you would gladly hand over the very essence of your vitality if it only meant getting to be so close to him, even for just a moment longer.
It was nothing less than a declaration against your skin when he broke the kiss to speak again.
“I’m going to make damn sure you don’t ever forget your first time.”
And then he lowered his hips, dropping his body over the bare expanse of your form to sink into you with painstaking prolongation. You gasped as he filled you up, slowly at first, then thrusting into you all at once. He buried himself deep within the silky tremble of your inner walls, pressing forward as far as he could before stopping, emitting a breathy chuckle, and bracing his weight over his palms.
“Hah… Feel that?” He purred, letting the dark fall of his bangs sweep over his eyes like the dusk that was just beginning to settle over the horizon. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d be able to take it all in one shot. Not bad, kitten.”
You were too overwhelmed to accept the compliment, if you could even call it that, though it hardly mattered at that point because Hanamiya had already begun to pump his hips back and forth, rocking you along with each forceful shift of his frame, and it was starting to feel like too much too fast. You were moaning and panting, shivering through heat and lust as he slanted into you, fucking you with reckless abandon just as he had promised.
“Shit, you’re so wet… You’re practically sucking me in……”
It was not the kind of one-sided pleasure you were hoping for, nor was it wracked with the sort of discomfort that had done its part in reducing you to tears not fifteen minutes earlier. It was an inferno, a raging flurry of desire that whirled through your core, stoked by each breath that quivered through your lungs and each thrust that sent billows of gratification rocketing up the length of your spine.
“Look at you… nnh, taking my cock like a pro. You’re a pretty good fuck for a—haahh…… a virgin, you know.”
You climaxed twice before before the sun finally set, leaving only the faintest luster of a streetlight to sift through the blinds above your head. A cool trickle of sweat beaded down the back of your neck as Hanamiya folded your legs against your chest, pressing forward to bear weight against the backs of your thighs. His pace faltered for a moment and you wondered if he was close, but then he leaned all the way through a particularly forceful snap of his hips and the pressure in your abdomen almost caved in on itself.
“F-fuck…”
Hypersensitivity flooded your veins with frantic aware, but you were strangely enervated despite that fact. Your lashes fluttered low over your cheeks as you whimpered, soft and helpless, and took each stroke of your core like a round of roulette. Hanamiya groaned and let his movements stutter through a messy rhythm, and before long his breaths were coming harsh and uneven, and his hips were oscillating wildly, and he was panting and grunting and cursing.
And then, he slowed to a halt. And he shuddered and he moaned, deep and silky in the back of his throat as his release sent waves of heat spasming through the pit of his stomach. And that was it. His arms trembled under the weight of his shoulders, his orgasm having all but ripped the air out of his lungs. His chest heaved, and so did yours. Inhale, exhale. If satiation could replace oxygen, you would never need to breathe again.
Hanamiya’s hips twitched as he pulled his himself upright through an unsteady kneel, sliding out of you with a lewd, slick sound that made you realize just how badly you had probably soaked the sheets beneath you. You propped yourself up onto your elbows, wincing through a hint of soreness as you brought your legs down only to find your inner thighs sticky and wet. You crinkled your nose, but remained giddy through the high of two orgasms.
Hanamiya let out a heavy sigh and sat back on his heels as he worked to tie off the stem of the used condom, not caring enough to do more than simply toss it out of sight before shooting you a glance that quite simply dared you to stay in his bed. You knew him well enough not to take it too personally, but it still felt like a cold drop of disappointment, even among a warm sea of satisfaction, as you stood up and meandered over to where your bra had been thrown somehow halfway across the room.
You debated thanking him, but decided that doing so would only get you mocked and taunted. Not that you would be able to avoid such banter in most other capacities, but in this particular case, you felt the need to choose abstention over affection.
It made no difference in the end, though, because Hanamiya spoke first despite having a face full of pillows and what you would soon learn to categorize as his typical, post-sex drawl.
“You belong to me and only me, got it?”
You smiled a knowing smile and rolled your eyes.
“I love you too, Makoto.”