Chapter Text
“Heeeey, Luka~!” Adrien’s voice came over Luka’s cell.
“Hey, Adrien,” Luka returned, smiling. “Something up? It’s kinda late…”
“It is! Sorry if I woke you up or-”
“Stop stalling!”
“I’m not stalling, this is what’s called ‘being nice’, you should try it sometime!”
“Sounds like something interesting is going on,” Luka mused, catching Adrien’s attention again.
“Sorry! My cousin- you remember him, right? Felix?”
“Considering he and you share the same face, yeah. Kinda hard to forget him.” Luka chuckled.
“Right. Anyway, he and I were having an argument, and I was wondering if you’d be willing to come settle it.”
“What’s the argument?” Luka asked, smiling.
“You kind of have to be here to settle it,” Adrien admitted sheepishly, but just then the phone could audibly be heard switching hands as Adrien yelped ‘Felix!’ in the background.
“What my cousin is trying, and failing spectacularly I might add, to say is that we’re having a fight about who is better at oral and we need an objective judge.” Felix announced into the phone.
“...So is this why Kagami and Marinette broke up with you both?” Luka asked curiously.
“While I can’t speak to my cousin's break up, mine did involve the rejection of a strap-on, yes.” Felix snorted.
“She lied to me for months!! This has nothing to do with that!” Adrien could be heard protesting in the back.
“Point being, both of our experiences with men have been purely hypothetical for both of us.” Felix continued. “Inexperienced though we are, we both want to try giving a blowjob and Adrien came up with this ridiculous bet over who would be better at it. Of course I believe it to be me because I’ve at least had sex before-”
“-with a woman so it doesn’t even count towards this bet!” Adrien shouted in the background again.
“-and he suggested you to be our judge.”
Luka paused. “...So, you’re offering me a blowjob…just to decide?”
“Excellent, you understand what we’re trying to accomplish,” Felix hummed. “So will you be-ack!”
“Luka!” Adrien gasped, once more on the line. “I’m so sorry, i-if anything he’s said made you uncomfortable o-or-”
“I’m game,” Luka interrupted him.
“Huh? You mean…?”
“I mean, if you’re offering…” Luka said, smiling slightly.
“Yes!” There was an audible gasp of excitement. “I mean…thanks, Luka~ We’re over at my place, if you wanna come down ASAP…”
“Sure, I just gotta take a shower really-”
“NO!!”
Luka wasn’t sure which blonde said it, but he twitched back slightly at the sudden bark over the line.
There was a slight shuffle, whispered hissing, then someone was speaking to him again.
“It’s…fine if you don’t,” they said, and Luka didn’t know if it was Felix or Adrien. “Just…hurry over, ‘kay?”
“Are you sure…? I mean, I just got my old job back, I’ve been biking around Paris all day delivering pizzas…”
“Where’s the lube?”
“That’s fine, Luka.” Two voices sounded at once, followed by a light slap as one smacked the other for talking too loud.
“I’ll be there in…20 minutes.”
“Thank you Luka~!”
Luka pocketed his phone, then rolled out of bed. “I’m gone for the evening!” He called into the house, his mother and sister shouting back their goodnights as Luka grabbed his coat off the back of the couch, slapping his pockets for his wallet, phone and bike key before heading out.
-
He arrived to Adrien’s bedroom, and found identical blondes.
Both Adrien and Felix were dressed in the exact same clothes- a pair of Adrien’s shorts and a t-shirt.
“We figured this was a good way of eliminating familiarity bias,” The blonde who greeted him at the door said sheepishly.
Luka plopped a hand on his shoulder. “Felix,” Then he pointed to the other blonde on the couch, “Adrien.”
“I told you it wouldn’t work!” Adrien sang on the couch, sitting on his knees and facing the door. “Felix doesn’t believe that you and I haven’t messed around before.”
“I find it incredibly hard to believe you’ve had him on retainer and yet you claim to me you haven’t at least kissed him.” Felix said, arms crossed firmly. “You’ve told me about how handsome he is before you ever came out to me.”
“Feeeee!” Adrien blushed down to his roots, sliding down to lay on his couch. “That was private, between us!”
“Adrien, we are about to suck on the same dick, I think he might guess that you like him.” Felix reminded him pointedly. “...Unless you regularly think about sucking off your friends.”
“It’s been…a thought.” Adrien said, teeth grit and out of sight. “And I would kindly request you stop right there.”
“Sure thing,” Luka hummed. “So…uh…who exactly requested I not shower? Cause I could still absolutely-”
“It’s fine,” Felix coughed, his own ears flushing pink, lightly pushing at Luka’s back to herd him deeper into the room. “You’re fine. More than fine, actually. Just…sit, please. Wherever's comfortable for you.”
Luka chose the couch for the time being, going around it to sit heavily next to where Adrien’s head was laid. “Hi there.” He hummed.
“H…hi…” Adrien returned, clutching onto a throw pillow as he stared up at Luka owlishly, then hurriedly sitting up as Luka sat. “Uhm…Luka, can I ki- hey! Felix! Unfair!” Adrien griped suddenly as Felix took the opportunity from his cousin, grabbing onto Luka’s face and pulling him towards himself, sitting on the opposite side of Adrien.
He kissed Luka, his hand moving from his chin to Luka’s chest, resting there as Luka’s lips moved against his slowly. For a moment, Luka’s head was only occupied by the blonde against his lips, his ears filling with the light and airy whirlwind of his soul, before he felt another hand on his jaw and his head was pulled in the opposite direction, and then his head was filled with twinkling piano, especially as Adrien’s sweet, shy tongue poked between their tightly held lips.
“Yeah, keep him distracted while I win our bet,” Felix half snickered to himself, gnawing slightly on his lower lip as he immediately went to Luka’s belt, deftly unbuckling it.
Luka inhaled slightly through his and Adrien’s make out, breaking apart from him slightly to do so when he felt hands that weren’t his own. “Nn- Eager, huh? Just-” Luka quickly pulled off his coat to toss to the side, then unzipped his pants the rest of the way, thumbs’ hooking around his waist band to push them down to his knees, bare ass to couch cushion. “...That shower offer is still- Hnngh~!”
Felix clearly didn’t mind, his head dipping over Luka’s lap to take Luka’s thick cockhead into his mouth, his hand resting on Luka’s knee.
It was only a moment before he pulled away, his face bright red and looking almost drunk with how flush and pleased his face was, his hand wrapped around Luka’s thick base. “This is a cock worth losing my virginity to,” He decided, smacking his lips slightly.
Felix went down, knees to the floor and very clearly intent on taking Luka again, mouth tilted open and a sweet flush across the bridge of his nose.
“Felix, you cheat-!” Adrien accused his cousin, nose wrinkling disatisfiedly. While Felix was already on his knees, Adrien swooped in to do that same as Felix had, tongue out as he captured Luka’s cockhead between his lips-
Adrien could feel the space under his tongue start to water, his eyes misting as he rubbed his tongue hard against the tip of Luka’s cock, scraping a little of that thick white stuff off the folds of Luka’s foreskin.
Luka’s head tilted back, gripping the back of the couch as his thighs’ twitched. “Oh- fuuuuck~!”
“You greedy little-” Felix grumbled, flicking Adrien’s nose to force him off Luka’s shaft to take his own indepth taste, taking some of Luka’s smegma for himself. “You taste awful,” He snickered, smiling as he stroked Luka’s shaft slowly. “Adrien, your friend smells foul.”
“He smells…” Adrien’s head was on Luka’s shoulder, startlingly close to his armpit. He shivered slightly, mouth watering again. Luka smelled…masculine. He smelled like a man. Like sweat and being in the sun too long and work.
Adrien pulled Luka into another kiss, letting the brunette pull him in close as his cousin continued bellow while tongues tenderly entangled.
Felix, down on his knees, lips kissing the base of Luka’s shaft, was squirming. Perhaps it was both of their daddy issues colliding, or the fact both their fathers’ hadn’t exactly been the height of rough n tumble masculinity themselves (Felix’s father was a banker, and Adrien’s a damn fashion designer) but Luka’s scent was driving them both crazy.
‘Gross,’ Felix thought, eyes closed and brows furrowed as he inhaled the heated, sweaty smell wafting off Luka’s pubic hair. ‘Absolutely- fucking-’
Felix lifted himself off of Luka’s base, tongue dragging from Luka’s balls to his cocktip. ‘Disgusting~!’
Felix’s tongue slid in between Luka’s tip and foreskin, twirling his slick muscle around his sensitive glands and getting rewarded with a squirt of precum hitting the back of his throat, Luka himself accidentally biting down lightly on Adrien’s tongue in his mouth.
“S-shit, sor- Oh shit, fuck, Feee~!” Luka whined low in his throat, fingers gripping the upholstery of Adrien’s couch.
Adrien pouted, his tongue slightly sore because of Luka’s gnashing. “Fine, let’s get this contest really underway,” He said, getting down to his knees besides Felix. “Luka, you better be ready to declare a winner.”
“Uh…huh, yeah, yep, absolutely ready,” Luka wheezed, a hand over his eyes and head tilting back.
“And at least try to be objective.” Felix added, and Luka didn’t dare peek as he felt soft, warm breath from the side Felix was on.
Only for Adrien to push in first and take the tip, sliding the slippery underside of his tongue along the dripping slit. Not to be outdone, Felix started lapping at Luka’s shaft, drooling on his firm skin as he waited for his turn.
But Adrien was taking too damn long! He pushed at Adrien’s cheek with his own, bulldozing him off, only for Adrien to try to shove Felix back to take his spot again.
“G-guys…?” Luka sounded from above. “Maybe you both should calm down a little? Before this contest turns into a fistfight with my dick out.”
“It’s his fault!” Both blondes accused, and Luka just sighed.
“Both of you, say ‘ahh’.” Luka requested.
Green eyes blinked, lips tilted open, tongues out. “Ahh…?”
“Now,” Luka put his hands on both their heads, fingers carding through blonde locks. “Kiss and make up, like good siblings do!”
He pushed their faces together, getting his shaft right in between their soft, wet tongues.
Green met with green with a cock inbetween, and a silent agreement was had. Neither of them wanted Luka to walk out in the middle, so they’d be as civil as possible.
Together, their tongues licked and kissed at Luka’s shaft, even brushing together as lips crossed paths. Felix found himself drifting lower, interested in the thick, heady scent around Luka’s thick brush of pubic hair, nose held between the seam of Luka’s cock and hinge of his thigh as his mouth worked at his heavy, twitching balls, eyes closing as he kissed the warm, slightly fuzzy skin.
Adrien, on the other hand, was busily bobbing his head up and down on Luka’s cock, never quite dipping low enough to obstruct his breathing, ears flushing red as he suckled lightly, tasting Luka’s salty pre coat his fine palette.
Felix popped off Luka’s balls, eyes dazed but smiling. “C’mon, don’t be a wimp,” He snorted, grabbing onto Adrien’s head, his fingers combing back his hair and holding it back. “You’re probably just moving his foreskin back and forth. For him to feel anything, you have to go deep!”
Felix pushed harder, forcing Adrien’s head down, making his cousin take more of Luka’s cock, driving his tip past Adrien’s teeth, and into his throat, causing Adrien to instantly gag.
Luka choked on his own inhale, hands flying to his mouth to muffle a surprised scream as he was so suddenly taken. “F-feli-! T-that’s-!!” Luka tried to say ‘Felix, that’s going too far’ as Felix released his cousin, only for Adrien to then push deeper. “Oh god-!!”
Adrien had to quickly pull off as soon as he inched down even a tiny bit more, coughing with tears in his eyes.
Luka didn’t have a moment to breathe before Felix was on him. “Do you know how impressive you are, Luka? Are you a virgin?” He asked, dragging a lightly held fist over the guitarists’ cock. Long, girthy and pretty, not to mention the overflow of precum…Luka was very hydrated.
“M…my ex in Brazil…” Luka wheezed. “We tried, couldn’t get it all in, she got hurt…we broke up over it.”
“Is that what happened…?” Adrien asked softly, his voice slightly hoarse. “I just thought you couldn’t do long distance.”
“Her loss…” Felix hummed, squeezing Luka’s cock slightly, licking off a drop of gathered precum erupting at his tip.
“Hnnngh, fuck~!” Luka groaned, his thighs flexing, trying to draw together but having two blondes between them.
“He likes it when you play with his tip,” Felix mused, smirking.
Adrien, however, was pouting. “You’re so mean,” He huffed.
“You’re so passive,” Felix returned, putting Luka’s cock tip into his mouth, tilting away from Adrien then letting go of Luka with a slight ‘pop!’, allowing Luka’s shaft to pendulum the other way and lightly slap his identical cousin in the face.
Adrien’s eyes narrowed, doing the same to cockslap Felix. Luka could only sit there as his dick was used back and forth between their cheeks.
They only stopped when they noticed Luka flagging, meeting in the middle to swipe and drool over Luka’s cock in solidarity to continue.
Luka watched, his brain almost misfiring as Adrien and Felix made out with his cocktip between their lips, tongues twisting, twirling around his head, slurping as they drooled.
“God, that’s good, fuck~!” Luka groaned appreciatively, hips twitching slightly.
“I want to try…Ahhh-” Felix’s lips tilted open, and he slid Luka’s shaft into his mouth, eyes closing as he went further down, pausing slightly as Luka’s cockhead brushed against the back of his throat.
“Don’t be a wimp,” Adrien huffed, grabbing Felix by the back of his head and by his jaw, forcing his mouth open wider and forcibly pushing him down. “You have to go deep!!”
Felix’s lips stretched around Luka’s base as his substantial length was forced down his throat entirely, choking softly, tightening and constricting around his thick cock.
Momentary flashes of worry (Would Felix choke? Vomit? Accidentally bite Luka’s dick off?!) were overshadowed by the pure sensation of Felix’s throat wrapped around the tip of his cock as he struggled, his tongue out and pressing against the hollow between his shaft and his balls, drool sliding down as the breath huffing from Felix’s nose stirred Luka’s pubic hair.
Felix pulled off as soon as Adrien’s grip loosened, and as he did, Luka came. Thick and lively spurts of seed poured from Luka’s cock tip as Felix fell back to sit on his ass, coughing wildly as Adrien took a one-man bukkake, stroking Luka to full completion and letting his cumshot land squarely on his face.
“You’re so mean…” Felix grumbled huffily.
“Doesn’t matter, cause I win~!” Adrien declared with a grin.
“What?! No you did not, that was my throat that made him cum!”
“Your throat wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”
“This…whole thing was a really bad way of deciding your bet,” Luka said, arms crossed over his eyes, head tilted back. “Because you both had me going and I couldn’t pay attention.”
“Well then this was quite pointless,” Felix huffed, clearing his throat slightly as he stood. “Suppose the only way to resolve this is to try again some other day, apart.”
“...Try again…?” Luka asked, peeking at the blonde from behind his forearms.
“Do you wanna?” Adrien asked, still on his knees, though sitting up, his face still smeared with Luka’s thick spend. Adrien’s tongue swiped at his lips, tasting more of Luka before he started to use his shirt to clean his face.
Luka’s head felt like it was spinning in his skull. Was this real life…? “S…sure. Try all you want.”
“Then I request you start drinking pineapple juice and begin taking vitamin zinc supplements,” Felix said, leaning over the couch to push aside Luka’s folded arms, then lightly flicking the tip of the guitarists’ nose. “I’m going to shower, if you or Adrien want to, you can join me.”
“Mmhm…” Luka smiled, nose scrunching slightly beneath the light smack.
Adrien got up from the floor, his knees on the couch, half in Luka’s lap. “Do you wanna sleep over…?” He asked softly, his lower lip caught between his teeth.
“That depends,” Luka hummed. “I’d like to try tasting you both, too. It’s only fair.”
Adrien’s smile widened. “It’s only fair~!” He agreed, clambering off Luka to hurry into the bathroom. “Come on, then, Luka~!”
Luka snickered, tossing off his shirt and fully discarding his pants along with his socks and shoes, running butt naked into Adrien’s ensuite where the pair of blondes were waiting for him…