Chapter Text
Originally posted at: The Art of Imagining.
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Song referenced in title: "Skinny little bitch" -Hole.
June 15 2016.
I’ll never forget it. It was the day my husband broke my heart.
He and I had separated almost a month ago but I was still hopeful, I thought he’d suddenly realize that we couldn’t live without each other and he’d apologize but god was i wrong… I was a fool.
I had just arrived home from the supermarket and gotten my mail on the way there. Bills, a magazine subscription, and a photograph which was sent anonymously. That goddamn picture made my heart race in the worst possible way.
It was clear to me that after only 3 weeks, Tom had already found my replacement. How could he? I wasn’t even thinking, I was sweating and I was cold at the same time, suddenly the house suffocated me and our pictures in the living room seemed to stare back at me, mocking me.
I left my shopping bags on the counter, grabbed my keys, and got out of there.
As soon as I got in my car, rain started falling down as if the weather wanted to match the feeling within me, crushing my soul. I don’t know how long I stayed there without even starting the engine but it must’ve been a while judging by the fact that Tom’s car had just pulled up several feet away from me; he had mentioned he’d drop by around 4pm to pick up a few things.
He had to run towards the door to avoid getting wet and as soon as he was out of sight, I drove off. I was numb, my mind was blank, the radio was on but all I could hear was the rain.
What was I to him? I kept repeating over and over in my head.
Everything was fine between us but it suddenly stopped working like an old contraption of some sort.
I had driven aimlessly or so I thought but I recognized my surroundings once I had pulled over.
The door opened after a single knock and there he was standing before me in a black t-shirt and jeans, with raised eyebrows and parted lips denoting his surprise.
-Well, hello. –He said with a warm smile.
-Hello, Michael.
-What are you doing on this side of town?
His words made me feel guilty. What was I doing there indeed? I shook my head trying to arrange my thoughts.
-I… I don’t know. Sorry. –I rushed my words as I walked back to my car.
-Wait! –Michael exclaimed.
I stopped and turned to find him standing right before me, barefoot, both of us in the rain.
He frowned and offered me his hand.
-I recognize that expression. Come on in. –He said sounding genuinely concerned.
I looked at his hand hesitating for a couple seconds but I ended up letting him lead me to his place.
I was sitting on his couch as he poured me a drink, one I hadn’t even asked for but he knew I needed it.
-After all these years you still remember how I like this? –I asked when he handed me the glass and I glanced at it.
-You’re one of a kind, kid. –He said with a smile as he sat on a chair across from me. –What happened?
-It’s nothing… I don’t even know if- I sighed and took a sip. –It’s Tom… we’re separated.
I couldn’t help but notice the way he had slightly clenched his jaw at the mention of his name.
-When did that happen? –He asked in a serious tone.
-3 weeks ago.
-Did he touch you?
I made a face. Tom wasn’t capable of such thing and I’m pretty sure I would’ve hit him back if that had been case.
-I thought we’d fix it but… He’s… -I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes welled up with tears but I had been fighting them for hours now, I had to be strong. –He’s seeing someone else.
Michael sighed and shut his eyes for mere seconds as if he could feel my pain but then he stared at me.
-You should see her, Michael. She’s fucking skinny and-
-I’m going to stop you right there. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Have you even been eating lately?
I looked away. No. I hadn’t been eating well lately, I was never hungry, I slept too much… Tom meant the world to me and he was gone.
-The fact that he’s seeing someone else doesn’t make you any less beautiful, it just proves that he’s an asshole. Don’t even go there, darling. Skinny or not, I’m sure she’s got nothing on you.
I pursed my lips. What did he know? He hadn’t even seen the photograph of the skinny little bitch. As if he could read my mind, he sat on the edge of his chair and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look straight into his blue eyes.
-Hey, she’s got nothing on you. –He muttered. –No one does. He’s blind, the fucking idiot.
I gazed at him and couldn’t help but smile.
-Why are you so good to me? –I asked in almost a whisper as he let go of me and we shared a moment of comfortable silence before I spoke again. –I left you for him, he’s leaving me for her… is this how love works?
-I’m afraid so.
Michael had a heart of gold. We had dated in the past, he was a perfect man and yet I couldn’t fall in love with him. I was with him when I met Tom and the 3 of us would hang out occasionally but then things changed; the rest is history.
Ironically, I had found my way back to him like a lost dog, in the midst of hard times.
-I still have that ring… -He said interrupting my walk down memory lane. –And a full tank. We could go to Vegas and get back at him if you want.
I chuckled.
-Be serious.
His smile faded and time stopped when he looked me in the eye to say,
-I am.
After all these years, after my betrayal, he would still marry me? A few weeks after I moved in with Tom, I found out Michael had been planning on proposing. To this day, the thought still crushes me and I feel like the worst person in the world; at least I believed in love… guess I was wrong about Tom.
-He’s a fool. –He added. –I let you go because I thought he’d make you happy but i shouldn’t have, look at you.
-Michael…
He slowly leaned in and pressed his lips against mine gingerly, as if he was scared I’d run away like a scared deer. He tasted like whiskey and all my broken promises. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer, out of spite, to get back at Tom maybe but I wanted it.
Michael and I ripped each other’s clothes off as we entered his bedroom without breaking yet another kiss. He spun me around to hug me from behind and whisper all the right words in my ear. Soon enough, we toppled onto the bed, recognizing our naked bodies with our fingertips for the first time in years.
Time hadn’t changed a thing, Michael never fucked me unless I asked, he made love to me.
I woke up when I felt Michael kissing my bare shoulder as we laid wrapped in the sheets; it was still dark outside.
-What time is it? –I asked.
-Don’t worry about that. Go back to sleep. –He murmured.
I rolled onto my side and laid my head on his chest. I felt protected and loved, I wanted to stay there and feel that way for the rest of my life, forget about Tom.
I thought I heard Michael reaching to grab his cell phone from the nightstand after it rang but I had already dozed off.
