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Visions of silky black hair, and calloused hands flashed in and out of Jungwon’s memory. Silent images of heaving chests, and flexing muscles burned into his eyes. He squinted his eyes, hissing in frustration at his own rampant imagination.
Jungwon’s exhaustion was particularly palpable that night, as was his restlessness. It was one thing to have hours and hours of rehearsals and want nothing more than to wash off the day, and collapse in your bed. It was another thing entirely if your mind wouldn’t let go of the same looping idea that played in your head over and over and over and over again.
Soon, his impatience for rest began to overpower his exhaustion, and his restless mind wandered to the sweet delicacies of processed sugars.
His mouth craved the soft and gummy sensation of a sweet treat. He envisioned the Jellys in the pantry, waiting for him, beckoning him to come eat them. Whether it was his stomach or his imagination, the thought compelled him to climb out of bed and make his way to the kitchen.
Late at night, every sensation seems to be heightened. The slight looseness of his black T-shirt against his warm chest, the cold of the floor tiles against his feet, the hydration within his mouth, growing larger the more he imagined popping those sugary beans in his mouth.
He reached the dark kitchen, eyes trained ahead to the pantry, when he noticed the light that crept from underneath the door.
Was someone there?
Maybe one of the other members had forgotten to turn the lights off before going upstairs.
Whatever, I’ll just pop some jelly real quick and shut it off when I leave he thought, his hand turning the handle, and swinging the door open in a swift motion.
“Ah!” The man inside the pantry exclaimed.
“Ahh!” Jungwon mimicked, his own surprise palpable.
Jay stared back at Jungwon, his limbs extended and frozen in reaction to Jungwon.
“Hyung!” Jungwon started, his heart pounding from the shock. “What are you doing here so late?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” Jay replied, relaxing his body.
“I couldn’t sleep, I was just gonna get some jelly to calm myself before bed.” Jungwon answered. He forced his widened eyes to relax as he moved his body to reach for the bag of Jellys.
“What about sugar is gonna help you to go to bed?” Jay inquired, his hand reaching behind him for the jelly that Jungwon was aiming for.
“Thanks,” Jungwon quickly muttered, grabbing the bag of Jellies from Jay’s offering hand. “I’m hoping the sugar will help me crash. I just want to rest.” He continued, his tone laced with a faint of reluctance as he reached for a handful of the candy. “You?”
“I was just thirsty after my shower. And I felt a little lonely sitting in the kitchen all by myself. I wanted to go somewhere… more confined I guess.’ Jay confessed.
“So you dragged a chair into the pantry to drink water in an enclosed space?” Jungwon asked, chuckling as the words left his mouth.
Now that he got a good look at Jay, he was able to register him fully. He sat with moderately upright posture on a chair that he had dragged in from the dining room. His hair was wet, but not soaked. Like it was messily dried by a towel. He bore a black tank top that displayed his broad and defined shoulders. While Jungwon had to fight not to let his gaze linger to his collarbone, he had to fight even harder not to let himself get absorbed in the clean aroma in the air. Jay bore his signature cologne of freshly sweet citrus, which only complimented the fruity scent of his bodywash.
“Well when you put it like that you make it sound so lonely.” Jay smiled back, snapping Jungwon out of his thoughts. They chuckled together before falling into a silence, the only sound audible being their breathing and their respective late night indulgences; Jay sipping his water and Jungwon’s bag rustling for his jelly.
“What makes you so tired?” Jay poked.
Jungwon sighed. He never really could decipher whether he was more open around Jay, or if Jay just seemed to be able to draw out the truth from him.
“I don’t know…” Jungwon said, hoping Jay would look away, disinterested.
But he didn't.
He never did. It seemed like he was always determined to get an answer out of any question he asked Jungwon. Jay just stared back at Jungwon, eyes expectant, with a modicum of patience in his expression.
“I guess… I’m getting in my own head. Pushing myself too hard. Putting too much pressure on myself, and it’s getting to me. I think I just need to relax, and get my mind off of distractions.” Jungwon said. He didn’t want to lie, but he knew he couldn’t tell the truth. He hoped that Jay would accept his words; restrained, but earnest in their sincerity.
“That’s kinda… shocking to hear honestly.” Jay said, his eyebrows raising as he took a sip from his glass.
“Why’s that?” Jungwon pressed, his tone mixed with shock and anticipation.
“Well, you never give off that impression in rehearsals,” Jay began, “you seem focused, like there’s only one thing that you’re thinking about.” he finished casually, like it was something he had always thought. A mental note that always lingered.
He wasn’t wrong.
Jungwon dropped his gaze to the bag, his fingers pressing against the firmness of the bag.
“Yeah,” Jungwon muttered under his breath, “just one.”
“What’s been so distracting?” Jay asked, contrastingly loud to Jungwon’s mutters.
Jungwon snapped up, shoulders bunching.
“Huh?” Jungwon asked, dazed.
Jay threw his head back, downing the rest of his water before placing the glass on one of the nearby shelves in the pantry. He stood, locking his gaze into Jungwon’s as he slowly approached him. Jungwon didn’t move as he inched closer and closer, but his eyes grew wider. Jay kept moving towards Jungwon, until the bag of jellies wrinkled against Jay’s chest.
“I said,” Jay began, his hand reaching into the bag, eye contact unwavering as he placed a piece of candy inside his mouth.
“What’s been so distracting?” Jay repeated, slower this time, the sound of the candy clicking and smacking against his teeth.
Jungwon’s lips parted, his eyes trained on the maneuvers of Jay’s tongue.
“I…” he began, surprised at the sound of the bag falling to the floor, not having noticed when his grip loosened.
“What was that?” a foreign voice called.
Their eyes widened in surprise, heads whipping towards the wide open door and the brightness of the lit up pantry that poured light into the desolate kitchen.
“Shit.” Jungwon spat out, whipping his body around towards the door. He reached out his arm along the wall, snapping the light switch the opposite way, and cloaking the room in darkness. Retreating his arm, he put one of his hands on the door, the other gripping the handle to be as noiseless as possible when shutting the door. It wasn’t until he heard the small click from the door signaling its closed, that he quietly let out a held breath. It also wasn’t until he heard the rustling of the fallen bag that he realized that he had just entrapped himself in a room with the very muse that had been crowding his every thought.
He turned to see Jay kneeling down, his hand grabbing the bag. He winced, mouthing a sorry. Jungwon, walking past Jay, and then the chair in the middle of the pantry, swiftly picked the bag up more silent in his stride to place the candies in their rightful place than Jay had been in simply grasping the bag. Jay chuckled at Jungwon’s franticness, rising to his feet.
The muttering from outside the door didn’t vanish though, and they stood, facing each other from opposite sides of the pantry. Jay leaned his back against the door. Jungwon shot him a glare, but Jay just held his eye-contact and pressed his full weight against the door. Jungwon strode over to him.
Jay began “Wha-”
Jungwon’s finger flew to his mouth, mimicking a librarian.
“But I-” Jay started again
Jungwon’s eyes widened even more, another warning to keep quiet.
“I didn’t-”
“Shh! What if they hear?” Jungwon exclaimed, slapping one of his palms over Jay’s mouth, and the other clasping his nape. Jay faintly squinted, but Jungwon’s eyes were focused at the door. The whispers still lingered outside the door, with murmurs faint in the background. While Jungwon was trying to listen to the sounds from outside of the pantry, Jay took the opportunity to shamelessly lay his gaze at Jungwon. His methodical eyes, attentive to any and all sound. His messy hair, still ruffled from moving around in his bed. His shoulders, bunched and tense. And those soft, plump lips, slightly parted in concentration at not getting caught.
After an agonizing eternity, the foreign sound finally began to retreat until the light peeking from underneath the door finally shut off. Jungwon sighed, eyes closing, shoulders falling in relief.
It wasn’t until he felt the soft wind of Jay’s breath on his hand, that he realized the position he had put himself in. Chest to chest with Jay, one hand clasped over his mouth, the other firmly placed on the back of his neck. It also wasn’t until then that he realized that Jay wasn’t touching him at all.
“Sorry…” Jungwon muttered, shifting to retreat his hands from their foreignly intimate placement on Jay’s body. But before he could fully retract his hands, Jay’s hands flew to Jungwon’s hips, firm in their grasp.
“For what?” Jay asked, his voice muffled. Jungwon’s gaze met Jay’s then, and he wondered how long he had been looking at him like that. Like he was hungry. A look laced with boundless insatiability, and tremendous focus.
That was the moment Jungwon became vigilantly aware of the feeling of Jay’s lips against the palm of his hand.
Now Jungwon wanted to move.
The hand that was on the back of Jay’s neck found itself creeping up his head, slowly rummaging his fingers in his still damp hair. Shifting his gaze down his face, Jungwon caressed the hand that was over Jay’s lips toward his jawline, his thumb teasing the entrance towards Jay’s mouth. Jay’s hands were still on Jungwon’s hips, tracing his muscles back and forth.
Jay’s eyes were still trained on Jungwon’s, the passion in his look more palpable than ever. He didn’t look away as he parted his lips, and met Jungwon’s thumb with the tip of his tongue. Jungwon let out a small gasp at the sudden wet-hot sensation of his tongue against his finger. Jungwon met Jay’s eyes again for confirmation, but Jay’s gaze only said one thing.
Yes.
Jungwon pushed his thumb into Jay’s mouth, enveloping the finger in the glorious heat of Jay’s mouth. Jay danced his tongue against the thumb, engulfing it with saliva and want. Jungwon exhaled at the sensation, his jaw slightly slack at the sight.
But Jay wanted more.
Jay beckoned his neck back, re-exposing the finger to the cool air of the pantry. Before any chance of protest, Jay moved one of his hands to grip Jungwon’s wrist, pushing the full length of the finger back inside his mouth. Jay held his firm grip on Jungwon’s wrist as he enveloped his mouth up and down Jungwon’s thumb.
Jungwon’s breathing only grew more rapid as he immersed himself in the vision in front of him. Jay’s iron grip on Jungwon’s wrist as he guided Jungwon’s finger in and out of view from those pursing lips. His eyelids threatened to lower in lustful bliss, and envisioning what Jay was doing now on a different limb on his body only made more intense the pulsing sensation forming in his underwear. Jungwon’s breathy sighs filled the room, and the wet noises of Jay’s sucking only heightened the tension between the two.
Jungwon shifted his gaze up to Jay again, prompting him to stop his sucking. Jay only kept staring at Jungwon as he pulled Jungwon’s finger out of his mouth.
“Open.” Jay commanded, his voice barely above a whisper.
Immediately Jungwon dropped his jaw, his tongue following suit. Jungwon kept his gaze locked to Jay’s as he slowly licked from the base, all the way to the very tip, before sucking on his own thumb in the very same way Jay had just done.
Jay’s eyes followed Jungwon’s lips as they encapsulated the finger, while Jungwon studied Jay’s expression. Lips mouthing something intelligible, eyelids low but alert at the sight. Jungwon didn’t stop looking at him when he finally came up for air, lips slightly parted, with a string of saliva between his bottom lip and his nail. Jay’s grip on Jungwon’s wrist had softened at this point, but his fiery gaze only grew the more time they spent in the pantry.
Now they stared at each other, chests rising and falling, cheeks flushed, grips tightening. The moment seemed suspended in time. Jay’s eyes still had that ferocity in them, while Jungwon’s were filled with desperation.
Jungwon’s head moved first, inching closer, brushing his nose against Jay’s. Jungwon caressed his thumb, still slick with saliva, across Jay’s neck. His touches were light and grazing, careful.
The hand Jay kept on Jungwon’s hip began tracing again, while the one holding Jungwon’s wrist began to climb up his forearm. When he reached Jungwon’s bicep, he pulled his arm, and as a result his whole body, even closer. As their bodies got closer, so did their faces, and their lips, until the gap closed with a gentle, quick peck.
But once they met, they couldn’t get enough.
Their lips crashed and danced like currents in the ocean, their hands grasping at as much as they could get of each other. In their mouths they exchanged remnants of the tangy sweetness from the candies as their tongues gyrated in a melodic trance.
Jungwon gripped Jay’s hard shoulder, digging his nails into his skin. His other hand, still in the messes of Jay’s hair, fisted and pulled harder and harder, earning him low and breathy groans as they kissed.
Jay’s hands traveled all over Jungwon’s torso, feeling every inch of his lithe, yet sturdy build. While one hand would be massaging and feeling the muscles of his back, the other cupped the indent of his hip, pulling his pelvis closer.
It wasn’t until Jay snugged his thigh in between Jungwon’s legs that he felt Jungwon’s boner. Jungwon’s trance was broken at the touch to his cock, pulling his head backwards, and away from the kiss in a squeaky moan. The sound alone got Jay excited, and the intensity in his gaze told Jungwon that he had other plans.
Jay connected their lips again, in another desperate kiss, but this one was shorter. Jay continued to flow a stream of kisses towards Jungwon’s neck and then his ears. His tongue licking from just below Jungwon’s jawline, until the apex of the lobe before setting his teeth on the helix. Another moan threatened to escape Jungwon’s throat, but not before Jay clasped his hand around Jungwon’s neck.
“Shh, what if they hear?” Jay whispered, mimicking Jungwon’s words from earlier.
Jungwon’s eyes closed, his head tilting backwards as Jay continued kissing his way down, stopping at Jungwon’s neck. He tested the area, kissing and licking, before he found a spot that made Jungwon’s back arch and his breath catch. He set to work, sucking and kissing the skin. Jungwon started to pant heavily as Jay marked him. His cock throbbed with need, and impatience, and he started to rock against Jay’s thigh.
“Jay…” he whispered.
Jay didn’t stop, he only helped Jungwon rock his body with the hand he still kept on Jungwon’s hip.
“Jay… Jay…” Jungwon repeated, the desperation beginning to climb out. “Jay please…” He begged. Now Jay stopped, looking at Jungwon.
“What do you want?” He gently whispered, his breath hot against Jungwon’s sensitive neck.
“I… I want…” Jungwon muttered, his hips still rocking against Jay’s thigh. Jay tightened his grip on Jungwon, stopping his movement.
“Tell me what you want.” Jay whispered again as he pressed a kiss to Jungwon’s cheek.
“I want… I need… I need you.” Jungwon managed to get out. His cheeks flushed with yearning, his cock pulsing with lust and agony.
Jay’s hand creeped around the waistband of Jungwon’s pants.
“You need me to help you?” Jay asked, his tone playful.
“Please… please…” Jungwon begged, his head nodding. He brought his hands up, cupping Jay’s face. “I won’t let you regret it.” He whispered as he planted kisses all over Jay’s cheeks and jawline.
Jay closed his eyes in the ecstasy of Jungwon’s begging. A silent and private promise to fulfill Jungwon’s wishes. He would give him exactly what he wanted.
Jay kept one of his hands on the waistband of Jungwon’s pants, but let the other clasp Jungwon’s face, and pull him into a slow, sensual kiss. One that reciprocated the emotions that Jungwon had been longing to express to Jay.
Jay pulled away from their kiss, kneeling down as his hand moved on top of the waistband of Jungwon’s pants. He pulled Jungwon’s pants, and then underwear down, finally exposing his hard-on to the cold air of the pantry. Jungwon gasped as the cold air hit his warm cock, but his groans grew deeper as Jay wrapped his hand around the base of Jungwon’s member. Jay’s eye contact never faltered, even as he licked the leaking precome off of the tip. Jungwon threw his head back at the long awaited sensation, biting his lip to keep quiet.
Jay finally enveloped his mouth around Jungwon's cock, and took a long dip to the base of his member. Jungwon’s chest heaved, gasping and panting at the euphoric feeling. Jay bobbed his head up and down slowly, drawing out whiny moans from Jungwon. Jungwon’s hands began to tangle themselves in Jay’s hair, guiding him at the pace he wanted.
“Faster…” He whimpered, gripping Jay’s hair in a haze of pleasure. Jay complied, moving faster along his length.
“Jay, I’m gonna…” Jungwon began, his pleasure starting to peak.
Jay stopped then, Jungwon’s gaze meeting Jay’s in confusion at the absence of the warmth. Jay pressed a kiss to the tip of the head, before engulfing Jungwon’s length back into his mouth in swift, yet thorough strides. The sudden speed and intensity at which the pleasure returned sent Jungwon over the edge, his orgasm washing over him. He slapped his mouth shut, back arching as he moaned through his orgasm, careless as to where his release ended up.
After a few seconds of regaining his composure, his chest still heaving from the tsunami of relief that had just enveloped him, he looked down to Jay’s face. His mouth and a little of his cheeks were adorned with the result of Jungwon’s release. His hair damp and wrinkled, sweat dripping down his face. His eyes, low and mischievous, topped with a wide, satisfied grin. He stuck out his tongue, and licked away the mess on his own face. Jay rose then, hands tracing up the muscle of Jungwon’s thighs, eyes locked.
When he met him at eye level, he paused for a moment, absorbing the sight of the disheveled man in front of him.
“You’re so cute when you beg.” Jay muttered, pressing a long, intimate kiss to Jungwon’s lips. When they parted, Jungwon kept his forehead rested against Jay’s. Their breathing uniting, Jungwon rested his hands on Jay’s shoulders, gently rubbing along his collarbone. One of his hands reached over to Jay’s back, and down to the small of his back near his waist.
“Jungwon-” Jay sputtered as Jungwon pulled Jay’s torso towards him, pressing the bulge in Jay’s pants against Jungwon. Jay’s breath caught at the sensation, his eyes squinting.
Jungwon moved his head away from Jay’s, making sure their eyes were locked on each other as he licked his along his hand, coating it in saliva and drool. He didn’t look away as his hands maneuvered to the waistband of Jay’s pants and underwear. Now Jungwon wanted to absorb the sight of Jay melting at his touch, huffing and grunting as Jungwon’s wet hand encapsulated his cock.
Jungwon nuzzled his head in Jay’s neck, trailing kisses and licks along his throat and jaw.
“I told you,” Jungwon muttered in between sucks and bites, “that I wouldn’t let you regret it.” Jungwon finished, biting hard on the side of Jay’s neck. Jay’s eyes rolled back, a moan escaping from an indecipherable mix of the sharp, delectable pain in his neck, and the pooling ecstasy of Jungwon’s strokes.
Jay’s groans grew, his hips bucking in accordance to Jungwon’s movements, doing anything he could to enhance his pleasure.
“So good,” Jay mumbled. Jungwon smiled against his neck, his breath sending waves against Jay’s marked skin.
“Yeah?” Jungwon asked, trying to draw out his responses.
“Yes, yes, yes…” Jay repeated in whiny pants. “Feels… so good…” He trailed off, his mind caught in the effervescent pleasure.
Jay’s pants became more erratic as he felt himself reaching his high.
“J-” He stuttered, “Jungwon I’m-”
“Use your words, baby.” Jungwon whispered lustfully.
“I’m so close.” He whimpered, his voice high-pitched and whiny.
“What do you want?” Jungwon
“Don’t stop, please.” Jay whined. Jungwon’s pace quickened, going as fast as he could to finish Jay off. He bobbed his head to the bottom of Jay’s neck, and extended a long, wet lick up his throat, and to the side of his jaw as Jay’s orgasm rose over him.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop!” Jay yelped as Jungwon continued stroking him through his high. Jay dug his head into Jungwon’s shoulder, biting on the skin to drown out his desperate moans. Jungwon gasped in surprise, but his pace never faltered as Jay coated his hand in his release.
Jay lay there for a second, catching his breath.
When he shifted his head, turning his attention back to Jungwon, he was already looking at him. Jungwon carefully removed his hand from Jay’s pants, a motion that made Jay’s breath hitch from the sensitivity to his member.
“You’re so cute when you beg.” Jungwon said with a smirk as he brought his hand up to his face, and licked away the remnants of Jay’s cum. Jay stared, wide eyed and flushed at this man who had just mentally and physically unravelled him. Jungwon placed his hand underneath Jay’s jaw, and pulled his face closer for an earnest and gentle kiss.
“So… are you still hungry?” Jay asked as his breathing finally started to regulate.
“No, I’m… I’m good. You?” Jungwon replied, blowing upwards to move his hair out of his face.
“I’m alright. Let’s go get cleaned up.” Jay whispered, pressing a sloppy kiss to Jungwon’s mouth, and then to his cheek, and finally his forehead.
Their gazes met again, hands caring for each other in careful, intimate mannerisms.
“You.” Jungwon whispered
“What?” Jay asked
“You’re distracting.” Jungwon admitted. “You’ve been very distracting.”
Jay paused, tilting his head as he studied Jungwon. He cupped his hand around Jungwon’s cheek and pressed their foreheads together.
“The feeling is mutual.” Jay replied, tracing shapes with his thumb alongside Jungwon’s face.
Jungwon didn’t need him to say explicitly that this was the start of a new development between them. Ice broken to make way for a turning point in their relationship, an action they were both thankful was irreversible in its impact and consequences.