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“Arthur?” Merlin rapped lightly against the office door. “Arthur, its Merlin. I bought you lunch. Well, technically I bought you a bag of chips from the vending machine downstairs.”
Merlin waited patiently for a response. He knew Arthur had been in a rotten mood last night, for when Merlin called him to say that he had found the information on the client Arthur was defending, all he had gotten was an earful of ‘it’s about bloody time’ and ‘are you fucking kidding me, this is all you managed to dig up, you incompetent buffoon’?
Which, for Arthur, was rather par for the course, but there had been a weird vibe that ghosted over his words, and if Merlin knew about one thing, it was weird vibes, so he figured he’d better check up on his friend to make sure he wasn’t drowning himself in work, liquor, or both.
The door to Arthur’s office slammed open a moment later – yes, slammed open, hitting the wall behind it with a thud – and Arthur’s harried face appeared before Merlin’s. His hair was a mess, there were dark circles underneath his eyes, and he was looking at Merlin like he wanted nothing more than to murder everyone in the building.
“You’re looking lovely today,” Merlin beamed at him and Arthur very nearly growled.
“Do you have the information on the Vasa case?”
“Yes, I do. I also have a bag of chips, if you were listening before.”
“Does it look like I give a fuck?” Arthur snarled, but banged back into his office, kicking the door as he did, which Merlin took as an invitation to follow him.
“Lots of paperwork?” Merlin lowered himself into the chair opposite Arthur’s desk and ripped open the chip bag. If Arthur wasn’t going to take advantage of free food, Merlin was sure as hell going to eat it for him.
“Something like that,” Arthur muttered, disgruntled, taking a seat and reaching his hand out for the file that Merlin readily handed to him.
“Arthur, I don’t want to add to this…whatever it is,” Merlin gestured vaguely in his general direction. “But are you alright?”
“No, I’m not fucking alright, Merlin,” Arthur gave him a steely-eyed glare. “I’m overloaded with cases, it feels like I haven’t slept in a week, and the security team is apparently letting just anyone into the building.”
“You gave me clearance,” Merlin said defensively.
“And where the fuck is my PA?” Arthur growled, a hand running through his hair, greasy like he hadn’t showered recently. “George is supposed to be my last line of defense.”
“Well, I think he’s a little bit frightened of me,” Merlin answered.
Arthur’s gaze was suspicious. “Why?”
“I may have…threatened him…last night I was here,” Merlin winced and Arthur groaned in response. “He wouldn’t let me talk to you! So I just...made a few creative threats. Anyway, it was Elyan who said you weren’t busy!”
“Fucking Elyan,” Arthur muttered. “Get out, Merlin. I don’t have time for your bullshit today.”
Merlin frowned steadily at Arthur. He’d like to think he knew the other man well; they’d been working together for a number of years now, and they had struck up a kind of friendship. They trusted each other. Sometimes confided in each other. Honestly, Arthur was probably the closest friend Merlin had.
So he knew that Arthur would get irritable, moody, grouchy, and a plethora of other interesting adjectives when he was put under pressure, or something was digging at him, or he wasn’t able to help someone – but he usually wasn’t this razor-sharp. And he always managed to put on a good show for the people around him; he never looked like he was about to have a nervous breakdown. Merlin had never seen him like this before – except…
“Arthur,” Merlin said quietly, “what’s really the matter?”
“Nothing,” Arthur said, but it was more of a groan than a snap, so Merlin figured they were making progress.
“Yeah, right,” Merlin gave him a measured look. “Just…talk to me about it, maybe?”
“No,” Arthur glared at him, while Merlin lifted an eyebrow. He knew that tone. That was Arthur’s ‘convince me otherwise’ tone that said he was a few prods away from giving in.
Merlin just stared at him until Arthur let out a heaving sigh. “There’s…my family is having a reunion this weekend.”
Merlin couldn’t help but let out an undignified snort, while Arthur turned to glare at him sharply. “If you’re going to mock, I’m not going to tell you.”
“Not mocking,” Merlin raised his hands up in defense. “I just…the mighty Arthur Pendragon, the best criminal defense lawyer in the city, is in pieces over a family reunion. I like the juxtaposition.”
“I don’t.”
“I’m just glad it’s not…something worse,” Merlin said, and didn’t elaborate. “Go on.”
“And my sister is…engaged to be married.”
“Didn’t know you had a sister,” Merlin said, and Arthur just nodded.
“Her name’s Morgana. She’s a lesbian.”
“That’s…nice for her?” Merlin wasn’t quite sure how to respond. “What’s the problem here?”
“The problem,” Arthur said after a short sigh, “well, there are a lot of them. The first one is the fact that I am not engaged, and my father will never let me hear the end of it. The second is that Morgana is an evil bitch and also will not let me hear the end of it. And the third…is that Morgana is marrying Guinevere.”
“Guinevere,” Merlin repeated, and the name clicked. “Your ex-girlfriend, Guinevere.”
“That would be the one,” Arthur leaned his head back in his chair and let out a pained sort of sound. “Gwen’s a sweetheart, she’ll try and be the peacemaker, but that won’t stop every single member of my family from being dicks about it.”
“Well, it is your family,” Merlin stated in a way that he hoped was diplomatic. “Can’t you just ask whoever you’re seeing to come with you? Just as a way to get them to shut up?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Arthur groaned, letting his head fall forward again melodramatically. “I haven’t been on a date in two years, Emrys. I know, I know, ha ha, Pendragon’s married to his job.”
“Is it…just that?” Merlin said carefully, not wanting to set off any bombs. “Because…well, I mean, two years ago was…”
“I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t be talking about that again,” Arthur’s voice grew short and clipped and Merlin was tempted to shut up about it, but out of concern for his friend, he decided to press on.
“Arthur, after what Sophia did to you, I’d say it’s perfectly normal to be trigger-shy about dating,” Merlin said quietly, choosing to look at his hands instead of Arthur’s face. “Can’t you just…tell your family that’s why you’re not dating anyone? Because of her?”
“My family doesn’t know about that,” Arthur’s voice lowered in volume quite a bit as his voice became steely. Merlin pretended not to know that it was because Arthur was trying not to let it shake. “You’ve heard stories about my father. What do you think he would say if he knew that I trusted a girl who eventually drugged me and beat me within an inch of my life? To Uther, that would be an unspeakable weakness for any man, especially his only son.”
Arthur’s voice was coming dangerously close to cracking, and Merlin jumped in to levy the tension. “Remember the look on her face when I shot her? That was a great look.”
He looked up to see Arthur giving him a small smile, a silent ‘thank you’ that Merlin took to heart. They were both quiet for a moment before Merlin said “Why do you have to go to the reunion anyway? Just skip it. Come for drink with me and Gwaine instead.”
“But then I would be a coward,” Arthur said in a voice that was unlike his usual affronted, dignified tone. It was soft, and self-deprecating, and Merlin joined in on saying the second half of the mantra. “And Pendragons are not cowards.”
“Besides,” Arthur shook his head after grinning at Merlin just slightly, “they’d just talk more if I wasn’t there to stop them.”
“What if you brought a fake date?” Merlin said, searching for something that might make Arthur’s situation better. “I’m sure Mithian would do it. Or Lancelot, if you were willing to let your dad know you swing both ways.”
“I don’t want to drag anyone into my shit,” Arthur shook his head before jolting slightly upward, looking at Merlin with a new light in his eyes. “Although…you’re already in my shit.”
“Interesting choice of words there. Are you asking me to be your fake date to your family reunion?”
“Don’t make me say please.”
“Course I will, Arthur,” Merlin said a little too fondly. “You’ve done enough crap for me over the years, I might as well return the favor. Just text me the details and I’ll try to look as respectable as I can.”
“Please don’t,” Arthur said, and Merlin was pleased to note that his eyes were sparkling with mirth again. At least the ordeal would accomplish something. “I’d love for my father to think that I’m dating a broke PI who looks and acts like a homeless man ninety-eight percent of the time.”
“It’s ninety-nine percent of the time, get it right,” Merlin said snidely, but grinned over at his friend. He’d known for a long time now that he’d do pretty much anything to get a smile out of Arthur. “See you this weekend.”
“Blondes,” Merlin muttered to himself. “So many blondes.”
It was a good thing Merlin was on the tall side, because otherwise he never would have found the particular blond he was looking for. The family reunion was taking place at a fucking event center of all places – Merlin had known the Pendragons were posh, but he had never expected this – and he eventually found Arthur next to the free bar. Naturally.
It took him a minute, but Merlin managed to weave through the crowd toward Arthur. He sidled up next to his friend and said “You know, most people have their family reunions at a park, or at least somewhere outdoors, with a cooler of Old Bailey’s. They’re not at a fucking event center in North London, catered. With little finger sandwiches. God, I hate your family already.”
“Then we have something in common,” Arthur turned to him, face relieved. He looked rather pale and peaky, actually, but he relaxed when Merlin put a hand on his back and ordered them a couple of beers, nothing fancy. “I haven’t seen these people in at least five years. Father never invites anyone but his children to his house, because he considers himself too good for even his family.”
“Sounds like a delight,” Merlin rolled his eyes, and an older woman took that time to come over and squeeze a hug out of Arthur, while Arthur looked like he would rather be in a mountain of paperwork a mile high than be here now. Merlin quickly pulled Arthur back toward him to shake the woman’s hand and introduce himself as Arthur’s boyfriend. The woman’s eyes went wide, she sniffed in apparent derision, and marched away, probably to gossip to the nearest relative.
“That was amazing,” Arthur said fervently, taking a too-large swig of his beer. “They’ll say it’s an unfortunate phase today, but if you married me, I might be banned from ever attending one of these monstrosities again.”
“Was that a proposal?” Merlin chuckled under his breath, Arthur joining in. “See, you’ve already made it through one unfortunate relative. Just a few dozen more to go.”
“Including my father,” Arthur hissed, going pale again. “And Morgana. And Gwen. Fuck my life.”
“You can do it,” Merlin pumped his fist in the air in the mockery of a cheerleader before an elderly couple made their way over to them and Merlin got to offend the Pendragons once more with his existence.
“The best part of this is that you haven’t shaved and are severely underdressed,” Arthur sniggered under his breath as the couple retreated. “They might be willing to forgive sodomy if you weren’t wearing plaid. I can’t wait until someone asks what your job is.”
“It’s not like I work at McDonald’s!” Merlin tried to protest. “I’m a PI. That’s like, no money, but at least there’s the added mystery and danger.”
“You’ll get told off,” Arthur said with a gleeful kind of grin on his face, “for working against the police. The Pendragons are big believers in the police, you know. They don’t want anything to threaten the system of power where people can be bought out and bribed.”
“Well, half of you are lawyers, so why wouldn’t you?” Merlin said, grinning back, knowing that his presence here was actually making a real, tangible difference in Arthur’s life and continuing mental health. As they made their way away from the bar, Merlin reached out to entangle Arthur’s fingers with his own. Arthur immediately pulled away, stiffening, and Merlin’s face heated up.
“Sorry, I just thought…” He began what was sure to be a long, pointless ramble but Arthur cut him off.
“Um – I just – haven’t done that – since –”
“Shit,” Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. “I forgot. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine,” Arthur reassured him, but his face was going all sorts of colors, and Merlin resisted the temptation to reach out again, because that was sort of the problem here, but he really, really wanted to make sure that Arthur knew that Merlin was here, that he wasn’t alone, that he would be alright.
Merlin still had nightmares about seeing Arthur’s bloody face, Sophia standing over him, slamming his head against the wooden table, the drugs in Arthur’s system preventing him from defending himself. He remembered not even thinking, just feeling white hot rage as he reached for his gun, shooting without thinking. It had only hit her in the shoulder, but Merlin had easily been angry enough to kill her, no matter what would have happened to him afterwards.
“She’s in prison, Arthur – she can’t hurt you,” Merlin said quietly, putting on arm on Arthur’s shoulder. That was a comfortable enough gesture, one that showed solidarity without being intimate. Arthur didn’t react badly to it, just exhaled deeply before shooting Merlin a tired smile.
“I’m just…really fucking on edge right now,” he said quietly, and Merlin nodded in understanding. Suddenly, Arthur’s head shot up, eyes wide, and he reached for Merlin’s hand, gripping so hard both of their fingers went white. “Shit, Morgana’s coming over.”
Merlin looked up to see a woman who was potentially the most gorgeous human being he’d seen in real life – well, she tied with her brother. But where Arthur was blond, square-jawed, and stocky, Morgana was had a sheath of dark hair, pale skin, and a very elegant build. She walked like royalty in a revealing off the shoulder black dress. Next to her was a woman that Merlin recognized from a few meetings over the years; she was equally as pretty, with dark curls that bounced as she walked, a sundress to contrast Morgana’s terrifying black ensemble, and where Morgana’s face was smirking knowingly, Gwen’s was an apologetic smile.
“Brother dear,” Morgana’s voice came out in almost a purr. Arthur’s grip on Merlin grew impossibly tighter. “How long it has been.”
“Morgana,” Arthur said tightly, and Merlin knew that only he noticed the slight tremor in Arthur’s posture. “You look lovely as always. And Guinevere, it’s nice to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Arthur,” Gwen said, her nervous smile endearing her to Merlin immediately. She looked between the siblings a bit helplessly as they stared one another down. “How has your work been?”
“Decent enough,” Arthur responded. “And yours?”
“Fine, fine,” Gwen managed to get out before her fiancée cut her off.
“Arthur, you’ve yet to introduce us to your friend,” Morgana made a gesture toward Merlin, who felt the pit drop out of the bottom of his stomach. Arthur inspired fear in the hearts of many, but Merlin had never been fooled by the walls he put up to hide the fact that he was an insecure puppy who just wanted affection and had no idea how to get it. He tried to remind himself that Morgana was probably a different person underneath her shiny exterior, too, but somehow it didn’t ring as true.
“This is Merlin,” Arthur said, and Merlin tried his best to smile. “My…boyfriend.”
Merlin reached out a hand to shake, but Morgana ignored him completely, instead letting her eyes flash in indignation. “Oh, that’s how it is. I bring a girl to a family function for the first time, and so you have to outdo me by bringing a boy. How juvenile of you. Just because you and Guinevere have a past doesn’t mean that I have to stand for your bullshit, Arthur. Everything always has to be all about you, doesn’t it?”
Merlin met Gwen’s eyes, kind, deep, and worried, and he knew they were thinking along similar lines.
“Hi,” Merlin cut Morgana off with a flat, ominous syllable. “Not to be rude or anything – well, yes to be rude. I don’t care if he’s your brother, I don’t let people talk to my boyfriend that way. So kindly fuck off.”
Arthur relaxed slightly at the comment, but Merlin didn’t look at him, instead maintaining eye contact with Morgana, refusing to show her weakness. After all, Pendragons didn’t do weakness. She raised an impressive eyebrow at him, her scowl turning to something more playful but equally as vindictive. “Oh, he’s got a spine. Makes up for your distinct lack of spine, eh, Arthur?”
“Morgana, how about we go get a drink?” Gwen placed a hand on the other woman’s shoulder, her eyes bright and concerned. Morgana gave Gwen a look as if she was considering it, but then her gaze snapped back to Arthur, free of distraction.
“I wonder if Merlin’s still going to be your boyfriend when Father gets here,” Morgana said, her eyes sparkling with something that clearly wasn’t good. “In fact, I think I see him right now. Father, over here! Father!”
Merlin squeezed Arthur’s hand – not that it was necessary, what with the death grip Arthur had on him. A few moments later, a man who had Arthur’s build, chin, and eyes approached them stiffly, wearing what looked like a very expensive suit. Unlike Arthur, his eyes were cold and calculating.
“Morgana,” he greeted his daughter cordially with a nod of his head. He gave Guinevere no more than a passing glance, but Merlin figured that was about as much approval as you could get in Uther’s books. “And Arthur. Who is your, ah, guest?”
“Merlin,” Arthur said, turning slightly to face his father, bringing Merlin with him. “He’s my boyfriend.”
Merlin was a bit proud of Arthur’s clear, coherent statement, but Uther just critically surveyed Merlin. He tried to smile at the man for a moment before realizing that any attempt at friendliness was fruitless.
“I expected better of you,” Uther said after a moment, and Merlin raised an incredulous eyebrow. He knew that Arthur’s father was cold, but it actually felt like the temperature of the room had dropped several dozen degrees. “Tell me, Merlin, what do you do for a living?”
Merlin tried not to wince. “I’m a private investigator. I occasionally work for Arthur’s firm, which is where we met.”
“A private investigator,” Uther repeated, voice dripping in disdain. “Well, Arthur, if it had to be a man, couldn’t it at least be one of a respectable profession? I do hope the two of you aren’t serious.”
“We are,” Arthur answered before Merlin could do it for him. “Show a little respect, Father. You’re fine with Morgana’s choice of partner.”
“Fine,” Uther spared Gwen a disdainful glance, “is a strong choice of words. If you were the one to marry her, I may be able to overlook her skin color and working class background.”
Merlin very nearly snapped to Gwen’s defense, shocked that a man would so clearly state that he had a problem with one of his children marrying someone of a different race, but Morgana did it for him.
“Don’t speak about my fiancée in those terms, Father,” she spat, eyes flashing. “I won’t stand for it, and neither will she.”
“But,” Uther had continued as if she hadn’t ever spoken, “I can only say I tolerate the relationship to the best of my ability. You, however, I thought better of. You were always more respectable, proud of your image. I wouldn’t think you would stoop so low. Now, Sophia, she was a lovely girl.”
Fuck. Merlin could hear Arthur’s breathing change, and wished there were some kind of way to comfort Arthur more without breaking his hand. Anything else, and the three spectators would notice, and Merlin knew that Arthur wouldn’t want attention brought to himself. So he let Uther talk and hoped for the best.
“I was hoping for a marriage there. She was a fine woman, respectable, from a wealthy background. The kind of woman that would make a fine housewife, a fine mother. And instead of proposing marriage to her, you show up with this…” Uther turned his nose up at Merlin. “…investigator who probably hasn’t done an honest day’s work in his life.”
Merlin felt the intense pressure in his hand slowly give way as Arthur looked over into his father’s eyes, his own deadened, as he said in the clearest and most expressionless words “Fuck. Off.”
Arthur let go of him as he turned to walk away, pushing through the crowd to do so. Merlin stared after him for a moment in shock before turning back to Uther’s thunderous expression to say “What he said,” before hightailing it after Arthur.
He found Arthur a few minutes later in the men’s room; he knew it was Arthur because he could hear vomiting in the second stall. He knocked a couple times to no avail, so he finally just ducked under it to crawl up next to Arthur’s shaking form.
He brushed Arthur’s hair out of his face as his friend threw up once more, and Merlin looked steadfastly at the stall door, trying not to breathe in through his nose. They sat in silence for the next ten minutes, the only sound being the throwing up and the flushing of the toilet. Finally, Arthur leaned back on the balls of his feet, apparently finished, sweat on his pale face, hands shaking.
“Your father’s a dick,” Merlin said conversationally, and Arthur very nearly smiled at him. “I’m beginning to see why you can get so annoying when you grew up with him as your only formative influence. And your sister? What’s up her ass?”
“I deserve what I get from Morgana,” Arthur said, voice raspy and somewhat regretful. “I helped Father sue her once.”
Merlin raised an incredulous eyebrow. “You’re kidding. What did she do?”
“Stole money from one of his corporations,” Arthur said with a ghastly sort of grin. “We were both young and naïve at the time. That was when I let my father make all my decisions for me, and she thought he was the devil himself.”
“Why is she here?”
“Father forgave her eventually,” Arthur said quietly. “He’d never forgive me, of course, if I did something like that. He probably won’t even forgive me for today.”
“Playing the Sophia card was rotten as hell,” Merlin said, and Arthur didn’t flinch at the name, so Merlin took that as permission to keep talking. “I know that he has no idea, but that’s fucked up on all kinds of levels. I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who let her manipulate me and drug me,” Arthur said, but Merlin reached up to lightly tap the back of his head in the mockery of a hit.
“Shut up,” Merlin told him. “Hasn’t your therapist gone through this with you? That self-blame is very bad for you?”
“I never went to see a therapist,” Arthur admitted, and Merlin very nearly did hit him.
“You’re fucking kidding me,” he groaned. “Seriously, mate? You’re rich as hell, you have no excuse.”
“It would be cowardly, and Pendragons…”
“First of all, it’s not cowardly,” Merlin said crossly, actually kind of furious with Arthur. “It’s a step in the healing process that’s just as important as the medical doctors bandaging you up. And second of all, you fucking hate the Pendragons. I’ve seen proof of that today. The second I get home, I’m making a list of counselors, and I’m going to sit next to you while you schedule an appointment, drive you there myself, and then pick you up to make sure you can’t get out of it. Jesus Christ, Arthur.”
“I know,” Arthur said, and Merlin pulled himself off of the bathroom floor to give Arthur a proper hug, and Arthur kind of just melted into a him a little bit, his face in Merlin’s neck, and they sat like that for a while.
“My family doesn’t really have reunions,” Merlin said to the crook of Arthur’s neck, “but I could take you to meet my mum. She’s a very nice lady – not homophobic in the slightest. She’d make you tea and oatmeal and treat you like she’s known you your whole life. She’d want to pick out wedding colors the first time she met you.”
“Are we getting married now?” Arthur mumbled, almost laughing, into Merlin’s shirt.
“If you want to,” Merlin said, smiling, and very nearly meant it. He’d do anything to make Arthur smile – anything. “I’d kiss you right now, but you’d taste like vomit.”
Arthur pulled away from him so that they could look each other in the eye; Arthur confused but almost hopeful, in a way. “Do you…I mean…are you just joking?”
“No,” Merlin admitted, both to Arthur and himself. “I would if you wanted to. But after Sophia – You probably need at least one counseling session before I’m willing to do that. You got freaked out when we were holding hands earlier – I’m not trying anything else until I know I’m not going to hurt you.”
“You couldn’t hurt anyone,” Arthur said, but he was looking down, his face red, a small smile playing at his lips.
“You’ve seen me hurt plenty of people,” Merlin said logically. “Like Sophia.”
“Like Sophia,” Arthur agreed. “Well, if I’m going to start dating anybody, it might as well be the guy that saved my life by shooting the girl who tried to kill me.”
“I could probably go hurt your father right now,” Merlin added brightly. “Should I punch him in the face for you before we leave?”
“Better save that for when he says something awful the next time you see him,” Arthur pointed out.
Merlin groaned. “Next time?”
“It’s great that you already know all of my emotional baggage,” Arthur replied almost cheerily. “You’ve already met my father, my sister, and half my family; you were there for the Sophia fiasco. You’re really my only option at this point.”
“Gee, I feel special,” Merlin said through his grin. “Remember when you thought that today was going to be one hundred percent terrible? Turns out it was only ninety-nine percent terrible. You’re welcome.”
“You’re the worst,” Arthur informed him.
“You mean the best.”
“That is definitely not what I mean.”
“You say the sweetest things.”
“I really do.”
“I could really get to like you, Pendragon. Provided you’re less of a royal ass, and maybe hire me a little more often.”
“I knew you were in this for the money.”
“I’m broke as hell, of course I’m in it for the money.”
“Every day is going to be an adventure with you, isn’t it?”
“If by ‘adventure’ you mean ‘I forgot to pay the water bill again’, then yes."