Archive of Our Own

Theo wakes up cold and shivering, with Liam's pale wet face staring down at him with a mixture of fear and relief. 

His head feels fuzzy, a painful pressure behind his eyes that he's unable to shake, and his throat feels raw like he's been screaming for a full hour, his healing yet to set in. There’s a weird taste in his mouth, salt and mud and just a hint of blood. 

"What," he rasps out, watching as Liam’s panicked face moves in closer. He opens his mouth to repeat himself, to try and get a full sentence out despite the burning in his lungs, but before he can say anything else the pressure in his head worsens and he only has enough time to think, 'Oh god, I got out' before his eyes roll back in his head and everything turns dark. 

When he wakes up again, he's lying on an unfamiliar bed in a room he doesn't recognize but smells like him. He touches a hand to his heart, fingers trembling, making sure it's still there, that it hasn't stayed underground beating behind his sister's broken ribs where it belongs. He feels it under his palm, the way it races against his breastbone, painful, but undeniably there, and lets out a sigh that borders on a sob. 

A crash sounds somewhere in the distance, startling him out of his thoughts. Moments later, the door to the room springs open and - huh, it's Liam again, his underlying scent of anger and burnt sugar filling Theo's senses until he's dizzy with it. He wonders how he didn't notice it right away - the way Liam's scent permeates the room, intermingled with Theo's own as if belonging there, though to a somewhat lesser extent, as if it isn't something foreign to him, something that should put him on alert. 

"You're awake," Liam breathes out, moving closer to the bed and grabbing Theo's hand with a desperation Theo doesn't think he's seen on him before, not even when Hayden was dying. "You're awake."

Theo pulls his hand out of his grip, fingers hot and tingly from the skin on skin contact. "No shit," he snaps, voice coming out as a croak.

Liam stares at him, his scent overcome with confusion and, strangely enough, hurt.

"Did you pull me out?" Theo demands.

"I did," Liam nods quickly, moving as if to grab Theo's hand again before thinking better of it and stopping. It's weird, the way Theo almost wants to reach out and take it, a deep buried want poking its head out of the dirt, one he never even knew existed. "You've been out for a few hours. Do you remember what happened?" 

Theo glares, pushing himself as far away from him as possible on tired arms. His limbs feel like lead, weak and sore, and he doesn't know if it's an aftereffect of being dead or from crawling out of the ground, but it sucks. "I remember your fucking pack sent me to hell, yeah. Thanks a lot, by the way. It was a great experience, very character building." 

Liam moves back as if burned. His eyes are wide, and for the first time since he barged into the room Theo notices the bags under them, the white pallor to his usually sun tanned skin and the still healing worried bite marks on his lips. "You-" he runs a hand through his hair, looking off to the side, expression troubled, "what exactly do you remember?" 

"I just told you," Theo replies with an eye roll. He's itching to get out of here, away from Liam and the alien sense of home and belonging that clings to his lungs every time he breathes in. He's never felt it before, doesn't know what to do with it, how to explain it away in a way that makes sense.

"No, what you just told me happened more than a year ago," Liam says carefully, eyeing him as if expecting him to take off running at any moment. And maybe Theo would, if he felt like he could manage standing up without immediately falling over. "I'm asking you about last night, Theo. You almost drowned." 

Theo stares at him for a long moment, trying to process what he’s said. A year? "What?" He keeps his voice level despite the shaking in his chest, the way his ribs seem to squeeze tighter around his lungs. "What are you talking about? You said you pulled me out!" 

Liam's lower lip trembles for a moment, before he catches himself and looks down at his hands, jaw clenched. "I pulled you out of the creek," he whispers. "Do you- is that really the last thing you remember? Being down there with your sister?" 

Theo swallows dryly around the lump in his throat, the feeling of wrongness that had settled in his belly ever since he woke up intensifying. "That can't have been- are you trying to say that I, what, lost my memory or something? You think that's gonna work, really?" And it's mostly bravado keeping him talking, because as terrifying as it is - it makes an impossible sort of sense. Explains the changes in Liam’s face, the way his scent is mixed with Theo's in this room, the way Theo's head is half filled with useless urges all involving touching him in some way or another, something he'd never even contemplated before. It feels equal parts familiar and unfamiliar, like his head can’t quite decide which life it actually belongs to, the one he knows or the one he’s apparently forgotten.

Liam seems almost as lost as Theo feels. He rubs a hand over his eyes and then straightens up, tentatively saying, "Look, you need to rest. You're probably just confused because of everything that happened, you'll feel better once you're all healed." 

Theo gives him a doubtful look, but his body is still aching and his head is starting to throb painfully, so he doesn't protest when Liam leans over him to fluff his pillow and push him gently back into a resting position. 

"You really expect me to sleep?" Theo asks, incredulous, ignoring the weird nursing behavior for the sake of his own sanity. 

Liam gives him a shaky smile, still reeking of anxiety. "I need to talk to Scott." His eyes cut to the side. "Before this…happened to you, we were dealing with this annoying faery thing. If this memory loss isn't because of some still unhealed head trauma, then maybe they had something to do with it." 

"Memory loss by faery? That's what you're going with?" 

Liam’s expression turns pinched. "Do I sound like I'm joking?" His hands clench into fists at his sides. 

Normally, Theo would be all for pushing his buttons, but he knows how easily riled up Liam can be and the last thing he needs right now is an angry werewolf at his sick bed - so he stays silent and after a long moment of tense staring he watches as Liam, seemingly satisfied with his lack of retort, walks around the bed and towards the door. 

"Don't even think about running off," he warns, pointing at Theo like an owner ordering their pet to stay put. 

Theo merely closes his eyes, not dignifying him with an answer.

He manages to fall asleep, somehow, and the ease with which it happens must have something to do with the comforting smell of the room, the way it feels like home despite home being something he can hardly remember ever having. 

When he wakes, it's to the low murmur of voices coming from somewhere in the house. One of them is Liam's, infuriatingly familiar, and the other takes him a second longer to place - Scott's. 

"What are we supposed to do now? If it was the faeries then we needed them alive if we had any hopes of reversing it," Liam is saying, sounding agitated. 

"Calm down. We'll figure it out if that ends up being the case. Deaton will know something."

"Deaton will-" A harsh exhale. "Why did you let Peter tag along, he's freaking crazy, of course he went nuts and started killing them! They stole like, half his physical possessions!" 

"Not half, it was more like, eighty percent-" 

"Scott!" 

"Okay, okay, sorry. He said he wanted to help, I didn't think he'd go berserk with Malia there." 

"Malia was all for killing them too!" 

"Yeah," Scott lets out a soft sheepish sounding laugh. "Hindsight, you know?" 

Liam sighs, long and tired. "Please, just- get Deaton working on it. I don't wanna be pessimistic but I really don't think it's a simple head injury." 

"It never is with us," Scott says, sounding just as tired. "I'll see what he can do. Keep an eye on him, okay?" 

"I would even if you didn't tell me to. The last thing I need is his amnesiac ass on the run or some shit." There's the sound of shuffling feet and then, "What if he, like, tries to do something…bad?"

Theo's heart skips a beat against his will, an unfamiliar sense of shame welling up in his chest. 

"Like what?" 

"I don't know. Old Theo stuff. Y'know. Murdery stuff." 

Scott is silent for a moment. "He didn't really do anything bad when you first brought him back from the skinwalkers’ prison. I'm sure it'll be fine, it's just Theo."  

"Yeah," a pause, "you're right." There's no sound for a moment, just their quiet breathing. "This whole thing just stresses me out, I guess. I don't know what-" he stops here, and Theo strains his ears to understand what's happening. 

"Hey, it'll be okay, Liam." The rustling of skin against fabric. A hug, maybe? 

There's a long stretch of silence, and then Liam lets out a sigh. “Yeah, okay, yeah," he says, as if trying to convince himself. “Sorry.”

"No, don't apologize. I'd be the same if it were Malia."

There's a hitch in Liam’s breath. “That's different,” he mutters.

“Is it?” Scott asks gently.

More silence, Theo almost wishes he were a fly on the wall, so he could actually see what was happening. 

“Well, anyway,” Liam says, voice ringing with false cheer. “At least you got the children back.”

“Yeah.”

They keep talking in hushed whispers for a while longer after that, but Theo doesn't pay attention to the rest. His mind is going in circles, trying to unpack all the new information the short conversation between them provided him with. 

Liam, apparently, was the one who got him out of hell, - or, not hell, after all, but a skinwalker prison, and isn’t that a revelation he’ll have to think about later - regardless of how long ago that apparently was. Why he did it is beyond Theo's current comprehension. Maybe he found out what was happening to Theo and he grew a conscience, or maybe they needed him for something so they got him out as a means to an end. The latter makes the most sense, but if so, then why the hell did they let him stay for so long? And why is he close enough to them to be sleeping in some unknown room where his and Liam's scents are mixed together? 

From the way they were talking, Liam is clearly distressed about what’s happened - whether that means he cares about Theo remains to be seen - and for some reason that can be compared to Scott and Malia? That little tidbit would be helpful if Theo actually knew anything about Scott and Malia's current relationship. Last he left them they seemed to be on friendly terms, but nothing extending a normal pack bond. Are Theo and Liam supposed to be friends? It's a difficult thing to picture, even though it would explain away all the weird urges to rub against Liam he had when he first woke up. 

In all honesty, he can’t see himself being friendly with any member of this pack after everything that happened, much less understand how they could’ve possibly gotten over what he’d done to them. Then again, Scott does have the bad tendency to extend undeserved forgiveness to his enemies.

He doesn’t get much more time to think about any of it, because soon enough Liam is opening the door to the room again, poking his head around the frame to check on him. They make eye contact and Liam makes a small sound in the back of his throat, quickly looking over his shoulder before stepping inside and carefully closing the door behind him.

“How are you feeling?” He walks over to Theo’s side, and under the faint light coming in through the window it becomes noticeable how bloodshot his eyes are.

“How long was I out for?” Theo asks, ignoring his question. It feels like he’s been asleep for days, but he knows it can’t have been more than a few hours since Liam is still wearing the same clothes - unless he’s picked up a habit of not showering in the year and so missing from Theo’s memory.

“Most of the afternoon,” Liam replies, looking unsure for a second before sitting down on the bed next to Theo’s legs. “Remember anything?”

Theo scrunches his nose and raises one knuckle to dig at his pulsing temple. “Nothing new, if that’s what you mean.”

“It’s not new.”

“It is to me,” Theo snaps, turning away. “But it doesn’t matter, the last thing I remember is still being down there.” He points at the floor, hoping his message is clear.

Liam grimaces. “So no changes, then.” He lets out a loud sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s been long enough that it should’ve healed if it was an injury.” His mouth twists. “It really must’ve been the faeries.”

Theo eyes him for a moment, cataloging all the ways in which he’s changed, from the broad shoulders to the slightly more prominent jawline. His hair is longer too, like he grew it out from his usual haircut and then just stopped going to the hairdresser altogether. Somehow, he pulls it off, but Theo isn’t sure if that’s him or his missing memories talking. Everything feels too muddled right now.

“What happened, exactly? You said I almost drowned?”

“Almost,” Liam stresses. “That’s all we know, you were already in the water when I found you.” His mouth twists at the corners, expression turning haunted. “If I’d been there sooner, then maybe-”

“Don’t start on what-ifs right now,” Theo says with an eye-roll. “I’m less concerned about that and more about the fact that you claim I’m missing a considerable chunk of memories.”

“Right,” Liam presses both fists to his eyes, then shakes his head as if trying to dislodge a weight off of it. “Scott has Deaton working on it.”

“And the faeries?” 

Liam winces. “Yeah, uh, about that. Peter sort of annihilated them.”

“How do you sort of annihilate an entire colony of faeries.”

“Unmitigated rage and fire.”

Theo frowns. “Fire.”

“Yeah, you know, the kind they do at carnivals.” Liam pauses, then tilts his head. “Right, you haven’t been to one of those yet.” He waves a hand around. “Like fire breathing, but he used a spray can. Basically carbonized the faeries.”

Theo wrinkles his nose at the image his brain conjures up. “I know what a carnival is.” Though the implication that he's been to one sometime in the past year is surprising. It's not exactly something he'd jump at the opportunity to attend.

“Sure, yeah,” Liam says, looking distracted, gaze distant and head tilted. 

Theo focuses his hearing and realizes Scott is pacing somewhere in the house, talking on the phone.

“But that’s good news, isn’t it?” He’s saying. 

Deaton is on the other end, voice soft and patient as he speaks, “Unfortunately, we would need a live one to get any answers over what’s been done to Theo.”

Scott stops. “Oh, right.”

“Still, we could use the remains to create a spell that would attract other faeries in the area. There must be some in hiding who managed to escape Peter’s rampage.”

Scott seems to regain his enthusiasm at that. “Yes, do that! That’s a good idea!”

“However, until we find out more, it would be best to keep him close to home. The spell they cast might be the kind that weakens after some time passes, and having him surrounded by familiar things would help the process along if that’s the case.”

“I see,” Scott says. “Well, we weren’t planning on letting him loose, anyway.” He hesitates for a moment, then continues, in a more subdued tone, “I want to check on him and make sure he’s okay, but Stiles said we should let Liam ease him into things first, since back then he didn’t see Liam as that much of a threat.” He sighs. “The others will also want to come by eventually, but I don’t know...He’s pack, but right now, to him, we’re just the guys that put him in the ground.”

Theo inhales sharply, head snapping in Liam’s direction. Liam is already looking back at him, a wary expression on his face. 

“It’s best to take things slowly,” Deaton says, “Theo is very easily spooked.”

“I know.”

Theo tunes them out, heart rabbiting in his chest. His mind won’t stop replaying Scott’s words, over and over. He’s pack. He’s pack. He’s pack.

Theo is pack.

“Theo,” Liam says slowly, watching him carefully like one would a wild animal. “A lot has happened since you came back.”

Theo swallows around a dry throat and glances down at his hands, grasping tightly at the sheets in his lap. “I’m starting to see that.”

Liam leaves him only long enough to get him something to eat, entering with a tray of food and an uncertain look on his face, as if afraid Theo will have some kind of outburst. “Your body’s been healing, you must be starving,” he says, setting it down next to him on the bed.

Despite his reluctance to play nice, Theo is smart enough to know not to deny a meal when he is, in fact, starving. He eats slowly, stomach roiling with each swallow, like it doesn't know whether to take the offering or throw it back up. Theo doesn't allow it a choice, pushing back the bile that rises up his throat every other bite. He can barely remember the last time he ate - there wasn't much time to pop out for a quick meal in between waking up in the morgue and having his heart ripped out by his sister - so even something as simple as the cheese and ham sandwich Liam brought him is making his mouth water. His stomach can protest all it wants, he's finishing the whole thing off.

When he glances up at Liam halfway through, he finds him looking oddly pleased as he watches him, one corner of his mouth curled up.

“So, am I gonna be stuck here for the foreseeable future?” Theo asks, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand and reaching for the cup of water.

Liam winces, then sits down on the edge of the bed, wringing his hands together like he doesn't know what to do with them. “Um, kinda.” He scratches the back of his head, giving Theo an apologetic look. “You sort of don't know anything about your current life. I'm pretty sure you'd tear me a new one if you found out I let you loose in this state.”

Theo stares at him. “Right.” Because apparently in this parallel universe, Liam cares about what Theo thinks and feels, even after everything that went down between them. It's extremely idiotic of him to do so, but he supposes he's Scott’s beta for a reason. “And if you don't find any faeries and my memories don't come back?”

Liam’s scent instantly sours, his head dipping away from Theo, hiding his eyes. “Then we'll deal with it when the time comes.” He clears his throat, rolling back his shoulders. Theo can practically feel him grasping onto the few positives available in this situation. “Either way, you'll still be you.”

The words send a strange pang through Theo’s chest. Since he can remember, being him has always been synonymous with the words weak, failure, bad - and yet, here Liam is, saying it like it's a good thing, Theo being Theo. He doesn't know how to feel about that.

Pushing down his conflicting emotions, he asks, “Where are we?”

“Home,” Liam says, then seems to remember Theo has no context for the word, and adds, “Uh, my house.”

Theo glances around the room, taking it in with a fresh set of eyes. The strewn textbooks and papers on a modern looking oak desk, the hoodies and shirts practically weighing down the back of the chair, the abstract painting hanging on the wall above the door. 

“I…live here?” He asks doubtfully. He's not sure what options he would've had in terms of homing when he returned, but Liam's house seems like one of the last places he should've ended up in. But then again, everything he's found out about his life until now seems to be a case of opposite day.

“Yeah,” Liam says, “my room's next door.”

Theo stares at him. “And your parents?”

Liam blinks. “Their room’s down the hall. They’re on vacation right now, though.”

“I meant: they're okay with me staying here?” Theo clarifies, bringing a finger up to press against his throbbing temple.

“Oh!” Liam straightens his back. “Of course. Wouldn't exactly work otherwise.” He lets out a soft chuckle. “Mom’s been teaching you how to cook, it's going…mostly okay.”

Theo doesn’t reply - doesn’t really know how to. Cooking. Sure. Nothing wrong with learning new skills, he tells himself, somewhat hysterically. Might as well just give into whatever the hell is going on. 

“Right,” he says slowly, leaning back against the pillows, “my head hurts, I’m gonna sleep.” Future him can deal with all of this.

A look of concern flashes across Liam’s face. “How long has it been hurting? Is the pain bad?”

Theo makes a face at him. What is he now, a doctor? “Mild.”

At that, Liam relaxes a little bit. “You still need rest, your body might be trying to work against the spell.” That last part sounds more like a guess. “Here,” he leans forward and circles a hand around Theo’s wrist. 

Theo only has a second to contemplate pulling away before he notices the black veins starting to snake up Liam’s arm, the pain draining out of him with a sigh of relief. 

“Oh.” He glances back up at Liam, who looks like he’s holding a wince behind his smile. 

“Theo,” he says through gritted teeth, “you’re such an incorrigible liar.”

Theo frowns, not necessarily offended, but feeling like the insult is a little unwarranted. “What?”

“That’s not mild,” Liam says as he slips his phone out of his pocket, “I gotta tell Scott about this.” He makes a pained face, squeezing his eyes shut. “Jesus, how were you just sitting there like everything was normal?”

Theo scoffs, ripping his wrist out of Liam’s grip and settling further down on the bed. “Now you’re just overreacting. It’s a 3 out of 10 at most.”

Liam stares at him, mouth agape. “You can’t be serious.” He moves as if to take Theo’s hand again but seems to think better of it at Theo’s vicious glare. “Okay, fine, be like that. I still need to tell Scott about it.” He gets up and leaves the room, phone pressed to his ear. 

Theo wonders what the point of leaving is when they both know he can still hear him, but Liam has never been known for his rational decisions.

He pulls the covers further up his body, easily ignoring the stabbing behind his eyes. It’s annoying, yes, but it’s not the worst he’s ever had by far. He thinks back to lying on the dread doctors’ lad table, hands digging inside him, scalpels sliding down his skin, cutting into flesh like a knife into butter - and later: his sister’s hand around her stolen heart, a squeeze and a pull, the squelching sound of his blood and innards, ribs cracking open. 

Yes, a headache is, in the grand scheme of things, barely even a 3.

He spends the rest of the day sleeping, save for venturing once to the toilet and when Liam comes by in the evening to give him another meal, this time a chicken soup and another sandwich on the side. Theo almost wants to make a remark about not actually being sick with a cold, but the persistent worry on Liam’s face keeps him from opening his mouth. Instead, he eats it in silence, and once he’s done sends Liam away with the excuse of still being tired. 

The next day, he wakes up early enough to hear the first few birds starting to sing outside. He lies there for a few minutes, staring blankly at the ceiling, until he hears the sound of Liam moving in the next room over. Moments later, there’s a knock on the door, and Liam peeks his head inside without even waiting for a response, hair mussed and eyes still scrunched with sleep.

“Theo?” He asks, stepping inside. He’s scratching his stomach with one hand, shirt riding halfway up his torso and showing a strip of his tanned belly. Theo finds his eyes drawn to the display of skin, then promptly pulls his gaze away, frowning at his own reaction.

“How did you know I was awake?”

Liam shifts, dropping his hand from under his shirt. “Your breathing shifted, woke me up.”

Theo doesn’t voice his opinion on that, which is that maybe they’re not as friendly as Liam has made it seem, if he was so worried about Theo doing something in the night that he started tracking his breathing patterns.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asks, when the silence starts stretching from Theo’s lack of response.

“Fine.” His headache seems to be mostly gone and his body feels a little less heavy today. “No miraculous memory recovery overnight, though, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It wasn’t, but,” Liam grimaces, shoulders dropping slightly, then shakes his arms out as if ridding himself of the negativity, “anyway, think you’re up for having breakfast in the kitchen?”

Theo doesn’t reply, slowly pulling the blankets back and getting up from the bed. His legs feel a little like jelly when he attempts a first step, and he ends up stumbling to the side. Liam immediately moves to catch him, sliding under his arm and helping him up with a hand around the waist. 

“Careful,” he says quietly, hand warm where it grips Theo’s wrist, sending prickles up his arm.

“I’m fine,” Theo grits out, brusquely pulling away. 

His feet feel slightly more steady when he tries again, and Liam watches him like a hawk as they make their way out of the room and down the stairs, Theo holding onto the railing like a lifeline. When they enter, the kitchen is bright and warm from the morning sunlight coming in through the windows. Liam gestures for Theo to sit down, quickly busying himself with filling two bowls with cereal and milk. 

Watching him, Theo tries to pinpoint the last time he ate cereal - it must have been sometime before the dread doctors took him, but his memories of those years are murky at best. 

“There you go, your favorite,” Liam says once he's done, placing one of the bowls in front of him. “Here, if you want more.” He sets the cereal box on the table too, then sits down on the seat opposite Theo’s.

“Cocoa puffs?” Theo reads aloud. He hates that he can’t tell with any amount of certainty whether he ever ate them as a child. 

“Hmhm,” Liam grins and eats a spoonful off his own bowl, “go on, they’re tasty.”

Theo wrinkles his nose but gives it a try anyway, bringing his full spoon up to his mouth with only a mild amount of wariness. Surprisingly - or unsurprisingly, considering Liam did say these were supposedly his favorite - they taste good. 

Chocolate itself is good, that’s something Theo does remember, but he hadn’t had any chances of getting it when he was still dependent on the doctors, so it felt like a rare resource. Scott had offered him a bar of milk chocolate with some cereal back when Theo had still been pretending to be a normal well adjusted guy just trying to find a pack, and it had been so delicious Theo had momentarily reconsidered his plans of deposing him as pack alpha. Unfortunately, he’d regained his senses once he’d finished it off and remembered being swayed by a piece of candy is something that would only happen to a child - maybe if he’d listened to the chocolate induced thoughts he wouldn’t have ended up underground with his dead sister.

“Like it?” Liam asks, sounding amused.

“It’s okay,” Theo mutters, carefully scooping the perfect milk to cereal ratio onto his spoon.

Liam hums, clearly aware Theo is playing down his own reaction. They eat in silence, the strange domesticity of it making Theo’s chest bloom with warmth. He tries to push the feeling down, but it rears its head like an untamable beast, blazing across his body until he’s hot all over. 

Just as they’ve finished and Liam is setting their empty bowls down on the sink, his phone vibrates on the table. Theo sees Scott’s name on the lit up screen, and wonders what he could possibly be texting Liam about at this hour. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long to find out, because Liam turns to him almost as soon as he finishes reading the text.

“They caught a live faery,” he announces, excitement raising his voice. “Deaton is going to try and figure out what’s been done to you.”

“Great,” Theo says, with much less enthusiasm. “And how long will that take, exactly?”

Liam pauses. “Uh, I don’t know.” He puts his phone to the side, giving Theo a hopeful look. “But, hey, it’s something, isn’t it?”

“Sure.” Theo leans back on his chair. “Will I continue to be stuck in here the entire time he’s trying to figure it out?”

Liam rolls his eyes, sighing. “You’re not actually stuck here, Theo. Feel free to go outside whenever you want, as long as you take someone with you. But I honestly don’t know where you’d want to go. Even with all your memories, you mostly just hung out with people in the pack or went to the grocery store.” He thinks for a moment. “And it’s not really safe for you to go on a wolfy run on the preserve right now, not when you don’t remember the state of things.”

“What state of things?” Theo asks, not liking the ominous way Liam says it.

“Just, you know, hunters and stuff,” Liam mumbles, somewhat shiftily. “They’re on the rise.”

“Okay…” Theo drawls out, only a little bit skeptical. He’s never really had to deal with hunters before, what with being with the dread doctors the whole duration of his supernatural life, but he knows how dangerous they can be, especially when they start gathering up in little gangs. “Since when?”

“A year or so ago,” Liam says, then starts counting on his fingers, “we got you out of the ground during the ghost riders fiasco and then we had some blissful few months of nothing. Then the Anuk-ite showed up and the hunters started gathering up. We dealt with that, mostly, but there’s still a lot of them around because of Monroe.”

“The Wild Hunt passed through town?” Theo raises his eyebrows. “Did you get taken?”

“No,” Liam drags out the o. When Theo keeps staring at him, he adds, “Just, you know, stole one of their horses and went into their little portal thingy.”

Theo doesn’t know what to say in response to that.

“You were there!” Liam says, somewhat defensively. “You totally approved of it.”

“I doubt that.”

“You’ll remember eventually.”

Theo isn’t sure he will, but he’s glad at least one of them is staying positive about it. “Who’s Monroe?”

“A crazy hunter lady,” Liam declares, which seems to be enough of an explanation for him because he doesn’t elaborate further on it. 

Theo decides not to prod. Does he really need to know all the details of whatever mess Scott’s pack got involved in again? They all clearly got out of it fine, otherwise Liam wouldn’t be talking about it so easily.

“So you guys got attacked by hunters and then, what? When exactly did I move in with you?”

“Oh, that was after all of it.” 

“Why did I move in with you?”

“Because I asked,” Liam says simply, though there’s a smug little hint to his words, as if he’d won an argument about it somewhere along the way. “It’s not like your car is better than my house.”

“Right.” That clears up where he’d been living before coming here. He isn’t sure if living with Liam’s family is better than living in his car, but he supposes the him with memories made that choice while taking a little more information into account.

“But all that aside, you can leave, Theo,” Liam insists with earnest eyes, “It’s just that it’s better if I go with you, in case something happens.”

“Don’t you have school?” Theo asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Graduated like…three weeks ago.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Liam grabs his phone, tapping away at it for a moment before turning the screen for Theo to see. It’s a picture of Liam, Mason and Corey holding up their diplomas and smiling toothily at the camera. They look happy, like nothing in the world could ruin that moment for them.

“What about Hayden?” Theo asks, eyes focusing on the background of the picture, trying and failing to find anyone else he knows. “Did she take the photo?” 

Liam frowns. “Oh, no. Hayden moved away right after the ghost hunters left. You took the photo.”

Theo starts at that. Not Hayden moving away - though he is surprised Liam is so nonchalant about it considering he almost killed his alpha over her - but the fact that he was apparently present at Liam and the others’ graduation. It obviously means he was welcome there, invited even, but he can’t see himself attending such an event just for the fun of it. 

His expression must be reflecting his thoughts, because Liam looks down and says, “Yeah, I was surprised you showed too. I guess I should’ve known you would, since you always came to our games even though you couldn’t care less about lacrosse.” His eyes are gentle when he gazes up at Theo again, mouth curved into a small smile. 

Despite himself, Theo feels his face heat up under Liam’s gaze. He turns away, willing the blood gathering on his neck and cheeks back to its proper place. His clothes feel tight against his body, the collar of his shirt suddenly suffocating. “I probably just liked watching you trip on the field.”

Liam gives a little smirk, confidence practically oozing off of him. “I don’t trip, Theo.” He pushes off from the table, getting to his feet. “Come, let’s get you some fresh air.”

Theo reluctantly follows him, decidedly off-kilter from the interaction. They walk outside into the sun and Liam sits down on the porch steps, patting the spot next to him. With a sigh, Theo settles beside him.

“Are you going off to college after summer?” He asks, mostly because his entire living situation seems to be dependent on Liam right now. He wonders if he already knew all of Liam’s future plans before he lost his memories. The more he learns about their relationship, the less he understands it. 

“Yep,” Liam says. “You’re going too.”

Theo makes a face at that, having never really allowed himself to consider the possibility of getting a higher education. He always assumed he’d either be dead by then or have a pack to take care of. “I am?”

“You took the GED, got into the same one as me and Corey.”

“Not Mason?”

“Mason has higher prospects.” Liam chuckles. “Honestly, you could’ve been a bit more ambitious with your choice, but you said someone needed to make sure I didn’t get myself killed out of state.”

“I see,” Theo says, not seeing it at all. 

He’s starting to suspect the version of himself without amnesia is a bit of a sucker. There’s no other explanation. Why would he care where Liam is going to college? Getting out of Beacon Hills should've been at the top of his priorities list - this place is a hellhole, and not just because it literally attracts all manners of creatures. Just being here reminds him of that sharp edged crack in the ground, the dirt caked in his sister’s hair, her broken nails digging into his back as she dragged him under with her - the last thing he’d seen had been the stupid crack closing up, stitching itself back together like it hadn't just swallowed him whole, the light blinking out into pure darkness. Bile rises in his throat whenever he thinks about it.

Why the hell is he still here? It makes absolutely no sense.

Closing his eyes, he turns his face up towards the sun, trying to shake off the dread the memories bring. The rays feel warm and comforting - nothing like the coldness of a morgue. He wishes he could just bask in them forever, not worry about anything else - no McCall pack, no amnesia, no faeries or thoughts about dying without dying. Just him and the warm sunshine on his face; he thinks he'd be fine with a simple existence like that. Maybe he should've been born a plant instead.

When he opens his eyes a few minutes later, Liam is turned his way, his arms crossed over his knees, head resting against the curve of his own shoulder. He’s staring at Theo, eyes half-lidded, and doesn’t bother to turn away even though he’s been caught, instead lifting an eyebrow as if in challenge. Theo cocks an eyebrow back and returns to his sunbathing, ignoring the feeling of Liam’s eyes on the side of his face. 

Incomprehensible, he thinks, chest tight. He really hopes Liam’s optimism is right and he does get his memories back, because navigating through this strange dynamic they have without them seems an almost impossible task, and being a plant isn't actually an option. 

He blinks awake in the middle of the night with the sound of his own footsteps echoing in his head, the slap of feet against the ground loud and deafening over the white noise. He feels his blood rushing in his ears as he stares up at the darkened ceiling of his room - he can almost see the shadowy outline of his sister on it, if he squints. 

Heart pounding in his chest, he tries to calm his breathing, in through his nose, out through his mouth. It works only marginally, the anxiety grabbing on and refusing to leave. He’s unable to shake it, the fear eating at him like rot at dead flesh.

He lies there, trying to regain control of his body, and it's not long before he hears Liam getting up in his room, then moving down the hall to come knock at his door. He seemingly takes Theo’s reluctant sigh of acknowledgement as permission and steps inside.

“Hey,” he says softly, stopping at the foot of the bed, hair mussed and eyes half-closed. “Nightmare?”

Theo doesn’t say anything, focusing instead on the reducing palpitations behind his ribcage, the way Liam’s visage and scent feel like a balm on broken skin. Slowly, he feels his panic subsiding, the numbness in his extremities giving way to warmth. He can still see his sister out the corner of his eye, but he keeps his gaze fixed on Liam, willing her away.

Liam, who is looking at him as if waiting for him to work through it. Their eyes meet, and he gives Theo a small squinty eyed smile, then settles on the edge of the bed, thigh brushing against Theo’s feet over the blankets. He looks like he could fall asleep right there, sitting up.

“Go to bed, Liam,” Theo finally says, voice raspy with disuse.

“Will you be able to fall back asleep?” Liam asks, as if that alone is the deciding factor for him.

Theo hesitates, then says, “Yes,” though he doubts it. 

He used to have nightmares back when he was still with the doctors, but he trained himself to wake from them as quietly as possible, to even his breaths and stay still enough not to draw attention. He didn’t know whether or not they would care that he had them, and he preferred not having to find out. The nightmares were always about the same things: his sister in the creek, her bloodless face and lips, and the edge of a surgery knife, sticking into him and opening him from chin to navel. Those nights always ended with him staring at the back of his eyelids, willing his brain to turn off. Falling back asleep hadn’t ever seemed like an option, all he’d wanted was to stop the slow drip of poison in his sternum and the acidic taste in the back of his mouth - the ache of death every single thought brought to him. 

Liam seems to know he’s uncertain in his response, too. He eyes him for a long moment, as if debating something in his head. “Hm, can you shift?”

Theo frowns. “What for?”

“Scoot over and shift,” Liam says, climbing further onto the bed, pulling the covers back and making himself comfortable under them in the small space next to Theo. “It’ll help.”

Theo stays frozen for a long moment, trying to parse through the meaning of Liam’s words. The casualness of it is jarring. Is this something they normally did before? It seems preposterous, but Liam does it so easily Theo can’t help but believe that.

He watches as Liam seems to fall into a light dose, unafraid and unworried. Too trusting, Theo thinks, as he quietly slips out of bed and out of his clothes, then shifts and jumps back on it, thick fur enveloping him like a warm embrace. Carefully, he curls himself up against the side of Liam’s hip, and almost physically startles a moment later when Liam’s hand comes up to pet him at the base of his head. He remains tense for a few seconds, then allows himself to relax into the gentle fingers running down his back, trailing tingles all along his spine.

“You’re too unspoiled, Theo,” Liam mumbles sleepily, rubbing him behind the ears, then down the side of his jaw and under his chin. “You jumped from selfishness to total self denial too fast, and now you can’t seem to figure out the balance.” He makes a low sound in the back of his throat, fingers pulling lightly on the fur around Theo’s neck. “I wish it didn’t take something like this…” he trails off, hand slowing down, then stopping completely on Theo’s back, resting on him with a possessive half-grip. “Sleep,” he orders, seemingly dropping off his other train of thought. “Scott might come by in the morning.”

And despite his confusion and the sudden alarm at a possible visit from Scott, Theo does.

Theo wakes up slowly, and then all at once, realizing with a start that he’s lying with his muzzle pressed up against Liam’s neck. Sometime in the night, he must have turned around and lied down stretched along Liam’s side, chin resting on his shoulder. It’s mortifying, even more so because he can’t remember doing it. 

Slowly, he attempts to get off of him without rousing him, but it seems to be a wasted effort because Liam immediately startles awake.

“Wha-” He grunts, blinking one bleary eye open, and frowns when he spots Theo standing slightly off to the side. “Theo? What’re ya doing over there?” He starts to sit up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Theo simply stares at him, it’s not like he can reply while in this form.

Liam gives a short breathy chuckle. “Right.” He looks around himself, hesitating, then finally pushes the covers back and climbs down from the bed. “Err, I’ll let you shift back in peace.”

He leaves the room, closing the door behind him, and Theo stares after him for a few seconds, head tilted to listen to his fading footsteps, before jumping off the bed himself and allowing the shift to take over. Once he’s back on only two feet again, he digs around in his drawers until he finds a fresh pair of underwear and clothes, which he puts on before stepping outside. He finds Liam already waiting for him also wearing a different set of clothes, a slightly sheepish expression on his face.

“Just in case.”

“I’m not an invalid,” Theo grumbles.

“I know,” Liam says, but still accompanies Theo down the stairs and into the kitchen, holding him by the wrist as if afraid that he’ll fall over at the slightest change of breeze.

Sitting down, Theo stares at his back as he once again starts preparing breakfast for them, mulling over what to say. He finally settles on a simple, “Thank you,” once Liam is settled in front of him on the table.

“Well, you don’t really know where anything in the kitchen is,” Liam says with a shrug, tapping his socked foot with his own, then letting it rest there. 

Theo ignores the warmth that spreads from the point of contact. “No, I mean-” He scowls, annoyed at having to say it. “Last night.”

“Oh.” Liam looks strangely embarrassed about it in the light of day. “No problem.” He takes a sip of his juice, gaze moving down to his food.

Theo wants to question him about how often such a thing happens - the nightmares and Liam sleeping in his room with him - but he isn’t sure he’s ready for the answer yet, so he stays silent instead and eats his breakfast, hyperaware of Liam’s foot against his.  

Once they’re done, dishes washed and everything put away, Liam turns to him and says, gaze considering, “I need to get groceries, but I don’t really trust you to stay put right now if I leave you alone.”

Theo wants to feel offended, but he can’t deny he isn’t exactly the most trustworthy person in the world. In any other set of circumstances he probably would have hightailed it out of here the first time he woke up. “I can just go with you.”

Liam eyes him with concern. “Are you sure?”

“I have amnesia, Liam, not some incurable debilitating disease,” Theo deadpans with an eyeroll. He admits he was a bit physically weak that first day but he feels perfectly fine now - missing memories notwithstanding. All this gentle handling only serves to get on his nerves.

Liam gives him a crooked grin, as if he finds his surliness funny, and lifts his arms in mock surrender. “Alright. You can come along, then.”

With that decided, they separate only to grab their shoes and their wallets, and are just about to leave the house when Liam pauses. “Actually, I was gonna take your jeep…Do you wanna drive?”

Theo looks down at the key in Liam’s hand. He hadn’t recognized it as his own, it looks like any other generic car key. “You drive my car?”

Liam hesitates, then lifts the key with an awkward expression on his face. “You gave me the spare.”

Theo blinks at it. “I see,” he says slowly, swallowing around the sudden ball of fear clawing up his throat. So he gave Liam his spare key. Okay. That’s fine. It’s just the key to his car - his one sure method of escape. There’s nothing deeper to it. 

“It’s mostly for emergencies,” Liam tries to reassure him, clearly reading Theo’s panic on his face. “I’ve only used it, like, six times.” He pauses, then wrinkles his nose. “Or maybe seven?” He shakes his head, putting his hands out, fingers splayed, the key hanging from his thumb. “Ten times, max. I swear.”

With practiced ease, Theo forces his panic back down into the recesses of his mind. Liam doesn’t seem to realize that the issue isn’t how often he’s used the key but that he’s able to use it at all - when Theo gave it to him, it must’ve been a casual thing rather than some kind of grand gesture of trust. Maybe it really was just for convenience’s sake. They live together and Liam doesn’t seem to own a car of his own - it only makes sense that he be able to drive Theo’s car if something happens. 

Yeah. That’s logical. There’s no need to freak out over this.

“Let’s just go,” he says, taking the key from Liam, “I’ll drive.”

Liam lets out a small sigh of relief. “Yeah, okay.” They walk out of the house together, then down to where Theo’s jeep is parked in front of the garage. “You usually leave it on the curb, but since my parents are travelling…”  

Theo unlocks the car, the sound of its clicking like music to his ears. When he first got it, he’d still been under the doctors’ rule so it had felt like just another object meant to keep up appearances in his plan to steal Scott’s pack. But afterwards, when everything seemed to be falling apart, it had risen in status to a symbol of freedom, his last resort in case all of his other plans fell through - he would get on it, hit the road, and disappear from this place forever. Of course, he hadn’t considered he might end up stuck in timeloop hell, unable to use it at all. It feels unthinkable that he would give Liam a key to it despite all of that. This car is his ticket out, yet he’s risked stranding himself for no apparent reason aside from convenience. The more he learns about his other self, the dumber he seems.

“Hey, so- just wondering,” Liam says, once they’re both inside and Theo’s got one hand on the wheel and the other on the ignition. “Do you even know the way to the nearest store?”

Theo gives him a blank look, turning the key.

“Right.” Liam shrugs and taps on the dashboard. “I’ll give you directions, it’s not too far.”

It’s only once they’re already inside the grocery store and he sees Liam looking around at all the items and food on display with a thoroughly lost expression on his face that Theo realizes it’s probably someone else who usually does the grocery shopping for the house.

“Didn’t you make a list?” He asks, mildly amused. 

“I don’t need a list. I know what we’re missing.”

“Then by all means, go ahead and lead the way,” he says, gesturing forward with one hand.

Liam narrows his eyes at him but stomps ahead, Theo at his heels. They grab some toilet paper and fruit, then walk around seemingly aimlessly until they find the cheese aisle and get some as well. They stay at this for a while, Theo dragging the cart behind him the entire time, filling it slowly with everything Liam gives him - he’s starting to suspect they’re buying more than they actually need.

Finally, what feels like an eternity later, they step out of the store, each carrying two bags bursting full of food and whatever other random amenities Liam decided they really needed. Theo momentarily debates asking him about the mosquito repellant - it’s not like werewolves react to their bites anyway - but decides against it. He’s sure Liam’s parents will put it to good use when they get back, no point in shaking the hornet’s nest

“Wanna stop for ice-cream on the way back? It’s way too hot,” Liam asks once they’re settled back inside the car. He’s pulling at his shirt collar, trying to turn up the AC with an insistent tap of his finger. 

“We bought ice-cream, Liam,” Theo points out as he starts the car. 

“Yeah, but…” Liam keeps tapping at the AC button even though it’s already at its max. Theo’s eye twitches with each click it makes, and after a few seconds he shoots an arm out, grabbing Liam’s hand and pulling it away from it. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it until he’s left holding it in his, unsure what to do.

“Uh- it's just not the same,” Liam continues, turning his face towards the window and fanning himself with his free hand. He seems unbothered by Theo’s touch, heartbeat slow and steady.

Theo clears his throat, dropping his hand. “The sooner we’re home the sooner we’re out of this heat.” He turns them out of the parking lot in the direction they came from, focusing all his attention on the road and ignoring the prickling at his fingertips. It’s okay - Liam is apparently already used to it.

“Fine,” Liam says with a defeated sigh.

Unable to shake his agitation, Theo turns up the radio and presses on the gas, staying stubbornly silent the rest of the way home as Liam prattles on about the summer heat and the blissful, actually decent, AC waiting for them.

Not even ten minutes later, they’re in the kitchen putting everything away when Liam lifts up a pack of chocolate pudding and says, “Oh, right. These ones are yours. You really like them.”

Theo frowns at that. The cereal was okay as an isolated case, but he isn’t sure how he feels about being told of his likes and dislikes like it’s a fact, especially when they’re something he himself doesn’t remember. Logically, he knows his tastes are most likely the same, but he can’t help but feel somewhat annoyed at this reminder that Liam seems to currently know more about him than he does. 

“Okay,” he says, keeping his displeasure from showing, and goes back to unpacking. 

Liam walks past Theo on his way to store the puddings in the fridge, and there wouldn’t be anything odd about it if he didn’t also take the chance to drag a hand across the small of his back. Theo stills for a moment, staring down at the bag of oranges in his hands, then forces himself to relax, hoping Liam hasn’t noticed. 

Adapt, he thinks. Even if Liam’s touch burns like lava on his skin, reacting like it’s something new will only cause Liam to draw back - which Theo realizes he doesn’t actually want. He’ll only mess things up if he acts weird about something that is most likely the norm. Whatever the status quo is between him and Liam, or even between him and the McCall pack, it’s better for Theo to keep to it until he has all his faculties back and is able to make a proper informed decision on how to proceed. 

He’s not new to this. All his life, or at least the parts of it he remembers well, has been an exercise in adjusting - to the doctors and their demands, to everyone in the real world when he ventured outside. Theo knows his real self isn’t easy to like, he’s used to softening his edges in order to get what he wants from others. And this time around, even though he has no idea what’s expected of him, he hopes if he just goes with the flow everything else will naturally follow. He can’t let this be another failure in his big roster of mess-ups. 

“Fruit in the left crisper drawer,” Liam says, peeking over his shoulder on his return and seeing the bag in his hands. His breath is warm against the side of Theo’s neck. “Without the bag.”

Theo licks his dry lips, ignoring the wild beat of his heart behind his sternum and the way Liam must be able to hear it clear as day. “Got it.” 

As the days pass by, Theo feels himself being slowly driven insane by Liam’s behavior. Every morning, with the exception of the one following his nightmare, Liam goes to get him as soon as he wakes up, accompanying him down to the kitchen so they can have breakfast together. After, Theo goes outside to full shift and stretches out in the sun for close to an hour. Liam usually joins him for this, because he apparently also has nothing better to do with his time, sitting at his side lazily running a hand down his flank and pulling at his ears like an annoying little kid. He acts like it’s normal, so there’s a high chance it was something they did before the faery incident, something Theo thinks is another point in the column of bizarre codependent dynamic (the opposing column is titled normal average guys-in-the-same-pack dynamic and it currently only has one point on account of Liam calling him dude sometimes).

The rest of the members of the pack have taken to showing up unannounced, a different pair every time as if they’re afraid Theo will up and run if they try to expose him to too many of them at once - which he admits is a good decision on their part, because the thought of seeing them all together after everything that happened fills his stomach with dread. 

From their visits, he learns, in this order:

1. Kira is off in the desert(????)
2. Malia and Scott are now dating (which brings a whole new meaning to Liam and Scott’s conversation that first day. He’s trying not to think too hard about that, though);
3. Scott is an idiot, because he seems to have taken to treating Theo like a misunderstood orphan with a bunch of different vitamin deficiencies instead of sending him back underground where he probably belongs;
4. Liam broke the sword, so there is actually no way to send him back underground, especially with Kira off in the desert(????) - this one brings him an immense sense of relief, though he tries very hard not to show it;
5. Corey and Mason are, predictably, still dating;
6. Stiles and Lydia are now also dating, which Theo thinks literally everybody saw coming;
7. Stiles still doesn’t like him very much but seems to tolerate him for everyone else’s sake. He is also, thankfully, out of state;
8. Malia, though not out of state, also feels pretty much the same as Stiles does about him. Theo suspects they’re the only two people in this pack with a healthy dose of self-preservation;
9. Scott’s mom and Argent are now dating. Theo doesn’t know why Mason felt the need to tell him about this, since he really couldn’t care less about the romantic entanglements of the adults in the pack;
10. Deucalian died? Fuck that guy, anyway.

Scott drops by the most often, sometimes alone, sometimes with Malia, but always with an air of concern and perpetually furrowed eyebrows. He asks Liam about Theo like Theo himself isn’t in the room, apparently updated by Liam on the (mistaken!) fact that “Theo’s current scale of pain is a little bit more skewed than usual”, and does a lot of soulful gazing along with a regular affirmation of hopefulness and cheer directed at Liam, who with each passing day seems to grow more and more discouraged about the whole Deaton coming up with a cure for Theo’s amnesia thing. 

Secretly, Theo likes that Scott and Liam worry about his well being. But being constantly reminded that he’s missing a highly important and character improving set of memories doesn’t feel so great, especially when he finds himself doing things he usually wouldn’t do, as if moved by the hand of his phantom self - Liam will pass by and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’ll be breathing in his scent, that hint of a spark like a fuse on the verge of blowing. Liam will say something or do something and Theo will find himself staring after him like a fool, mouth turned up in something approaching a smile. Liam will sit next to him, and without even noticing it, Theo will have scooted closer until they’re pressed thigh to shoulder, the warmth of their bodies mingling together. 

On the bright side, Liam remains unfazed by Theo’s clinginess and, in fact, continues to initiate many of the touches himself. Theo is convinced this was something they also did before, all the rubbing up against each other, hands on backs and necks and wrapped around wrists like snakes. He wants to ask about it, ask why Scott thought him and Liam were in any way comparable to his relationship with Malia, but he can’t muster up the courage to lay his doubts out in the open. Doesn’t want to accidentally ruin something for himself - his self with the memories, the one that everyone seems to care about, the one that’s good and better. Or as good and better as Theo can possibly be, which can’t be all that much. 

He’s getting acclimated, but there remains a relentless ache in his chest, a pain he knows isn’t physical. He knows how to fake a lot of things, but he’s missing too much information for it to be a perfect act. Everyone else keeps expecting someone different, someone who knows what to say and when to say it, someone who understands the intricacies of the pack’s dynamics, who knows why he’s here and why he hasn’t left. Because Theo can’t stop thinking about it - the fact that he’s stayed for so long in Beacon Hills when the first thing he should’ve done when getting released from that godforsaken prison was to get as far away from this place as he possibly could, as far away from Scott’s pack and anything related to it as he was able to get. There were no doctors to hold him to this place, no pack, no family - he had his car, the clothes on his back, and that half-formed plan of leaving and never coming back that he hadn't been able to follow through with before being sent under. Despite all that, he stayed. Sometime between digging his way out of the ground and the ghost riders leaving town, Theo must’ve found a reason. Something to keep him here. 

And even though he has his suspicions, he also can’t bring himself to fully believe he would be that stupid. Be so idiotic as to give himself a collar and hand the leash to someone else. Not again. He can’t have. Because if he has, then he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now that he doesn’t remember it.

He’s stuck here because of it, scared of leaving and regretting it later on; living someone else’s life and putting on a performance he can’t seem to get quite right no matter how hard he tries. He’s tied to this pack by a string that everyone but him can see, and it’s both infuriating and frustrating. He wants to pack up his bags and go, start over somewhere no one knows him or sees a shadow of his past self at his back. Yet at the same time he wants to grow roots here and stay exactly where he is, glue himself to Liam and never have to leave his side again, a desire that is so unlike him he is sure it has to be a leftover from before the spell, before his life came crashing down without him even knowing, waking up in that bed like a newborn into an existence so alien to him that it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t sometimes. He wants everything all at once. He wants like a child crying to be picked up, like a dog at the door dragging his nails down the wooden frame, whining to be let in. He wants, and wants, and wants. And all the while, knows no amount of wanting will make him any more deserving of it.

On the sixth day, as Theo is scooping up the last bits of chocolate pudding off the bottom of his cup, Liam says, “You know, I thought you’d be more resistant to this.”

“To what?” Theo asks, licking the spoon clean. This was the last of the pudding, he thinks, eyeing it sadly, they need to get some more as soon as possible. Theo doesn't usually let himself get this attached to specific foods, but it's hard to avoid it now that he's got a consistent source of it. Opening the fridge and seeing such a vast variety of food is a completely new experience for him, at least in recent memory.

“You know, staying here, hanging out with the others.” Liam moves closer, hand brushing against Theo’s side. “You weren’t exactly all sunshines and rainbows the first time you came back.”

The first time Theo came back from the skinwalkers prison, he means. Yeah, Theo doubts he would’ve been happy with any of them on his initial return, considering they’re the ones who sent him there in the first place. He imagines if he hadn’t been so weak and basically bed-bound, his initial reaction this time around wouldn’t have been all that gentle either. 

He's been worn down by affection given without price, it's pathetic. The moment he heard Scott say he was pack, any chance of him running away had disappeared.

“You think I’m all sunshines and rainbows now?” 

“Uh,” Liam hesitates for a moment, leaning his hip against the counter next to him, “define sunshines and rainbows?”

“Not me,” Theo says, throwing the pudding cup in the trash and turning on the tap water to wash the spoon. “Definitely not me.”

“I just mean- you’re being much calmer about everything than you were the first time around. You haven’t attempted to rile me up even once!” He shakes his head up and down, as if to emphasize how big of a deal that is.

Theo doesn’t like the way the conversation is headed. He’s been treading so carefully, doing his best not to upset anyone or show his sharper corners, but he didn’t expect Liam to actually notice that. He thought he’d gotten things right at least in that aspect. 

“I think you’re confused, Liam,” he says slowly, setting the spoon aside to dry. He feels an edge of anxiety creeping up his diaphragm. “Maybe it’s not me that’s reacting differently, but you.”

“Huh?” 

Theo gives an exaggerated sigh. “Have you considered that rather than me not attempting to rile you up, it’s you who isn’t as easily riled up by me anymore?” At Liam’s blank look, he continues, “You said it’s been more than a year since I got back, right? You’ve probably learned some things about me during that time, haven’t you?” 

“I guess…” Liam looks like he’s half regretting starting this conversation.

“Meanwhile, I have no memory of that time so I’m starting back from zero. You know all these things about me that I don’t know about you, so of course it isn’t going to be like it was back then. I’m sure I still pissed you off all the time before all this, but I was only able to do that because I knew you as well as you know me.” 

Even though he’s attempting some mild gaslighting here, Theo realizes what he’s saying is actually half-true. Liam probably thinks of him as the lower, less evolved version, Theo 1.0 without all the upgrades, the Theo who couldn’t scratch his shell even if he tried. Theo 2.0 probably knew exactly what to say to get Liam in a rage, and he probably also knew exactly what to say to get him to calm down. That’s the guy Liam keeps searching for when he looks at him, the version of Theo that isn’t there anymore and might never come back. Theo hates him almost as desperately as he wants to be him again. It’s a funny feeling, being jealous of yourself. 

“Maybe.” Liam frowns like he isn’t sure he really agrees with Theo’s words. “But I like to think you can still read me better than almost anyone else.” He gives a one shoulder shrug, smiling sheepishly. “Mason probably has you beat right now, though.”

Theo resists the urge to say something snarky back, instead pushing off the counter and moving towards the living room. He’s somehow gone and managed to upset himself all on his own. “Nevermind that, we need to buy more pudding.”

Liam huffs, following after him. “I know I said you liked those, but you don’t actually need to eat two everyday, you know?”

“My decision to eat them is in no way influenced by you saying I like them,” Theo says, stepping into the pair of sneakers he’d forgotten by the entrance the previous day when he'd shifted to go outside. 

“I just meant you only used to eat them once in a while before,” Liam mumbles defensively.

Theo scowls at that, a sense of bitterness rising in his chest. He's being haunted by the spectre of what he no longer is, it's maddening. “Then I guess I’ll go back to doing that when I get my memories back,” he snaps, pulling the door open and stepping outside without waiting for Liam.

“I didn’t-”

“Forget it,” he cuts him off, taking his jeep key out of his pocket. “Let’s just go.”

Liam falls silent, following him to his car with a subdued expression. 

Almost ten minutes later, once they’re firmly parked outside the grocery store, Theo lets out a long sigh. “I'm not mad.”

“Yes, you are,” Liam mumbles glumly, looking out the window. “I can smell it on you.”

Theo blinks. His ability to mask his chemosignals used to be perfect, but ever since he came back it’s like there’s something blocking him from doing it like he used to, and random emotions keep slipping through like he’s a newbie at this game. He hates it, especially since Liam has apparently become so adept at both parsing them out and hiding his own. It’s made reading him an almost impossible task. If Theo knew him well, he probably wouldn’t struggle so much with it even if he’d been locked out of all his supernatural senses, but as it is he often finds himself at a loss. That first day when he’d woken up, Liam had been too distressed to properly hide them, but ever since then he’s been keeping everything carefully under wraps, as if he has something to hide. It’s been driving Theo crazy.

Licking his lips, he tries to come up with something to say. “I’m not mad at you.”

That gets Liam to finally look at him. “No?”

Theo shakes his head, though it’s not fully true. He is mad at Liam, but he also knows it’s irrational - he can’t really blame him for expecting Theo to be the person he’s known him to be until recently, even though it stings every time it happens. “I’m just mad at the situation, that’s all.”

Liam stares at him for a moment. “You know,” he says thoughtfully, “it’ll be fine, even if you don’t get your memories back.”

Theo lets out a humorless laugh, leaning his head back on the headrest of his seat. “Right.”

“No,” Liam grips him by the shoulder, fingers warm even through the fabric of his shirt, “it really will,” he insists earnestly, “I’ve said this before, but it seems you weren’t listening.” His fingers trail up the curve of Theo’s shoulder, stopping at the base of his neck like a brand. “Whatever happens, even if you don’t remember any of it for the rest of your life, you’re still Theo.” He lifts his hand only to grab at Theo’s chin, turning his face gently so their eyes meet. “I can’t say I don’t care at all whether you get them back, because we both know that wouldn’t be true.”

Theo scoffs, the trembling of his heart like a bell in his ears. He wonders if Liam can hear how fast it’s beating, or if he’s too distracted by his own racing pulse to tell. The car feels so stuffy all of a sudden, like Liam is pressed all up against him even though they’re each in their respective seats, separated by the gearshift. Every air molecule is filled with tension.

“But!” Liam continues in a slightly high pitched voice, taking his fingers off Theo’s chin - his face is stained red, flush spreading from his cheeks up to his forehead and down under his collar. “We can make new memories! We can go to the carnival again, and to the beach, and go hiking, and visit that one cow sanctuary! My mom can start from scratch teaching you how to cook once my parents get back from vacation, and we can even go to a random highschool party, though I guess I’m not a highschooler anymore and anyway you didn’t like that one very much so scratch that.”

Theo closes his eyes against the sight of him. “Okay, okay, I get it.” He turns his face away, letting a small smile break out once he knows Liam can’t see it. “Thanks,” he murmurs, before opening his door and stepping out. After a long pause, he hears Liam doing the same.

“And really,” Liam says, as they’re entering the store, “I think the only reason you weren’t eating so many of those puddings before was because the first few weeks we got them you ate them so often you probably got a bit sick of them.”

This time, Theo allows him to see the smile.

Despite Liam’s reassurances, Theo still waits with an almost sick desperation for his memories to come back on their own. Deaton, despite managing to capture a faery, seems to be having a hard time getting it to spill the beans about what spell was used, or rather, seems to be having a hard time translating what the faery is saying at all. 

He’s working on the assumption, though, through some form of gestural communication, that the spell breaking is dependent on the actions of the person under it, which means everyone now thinks everything hangs on whether or not Theo wants to get his memories back - except, Theo does want to get his memories back - despite all his jealousy and misgivings about it - yet for some reason he still doesn’t have them. 

He wants to remember with a fervor that completely overshadows any other emotion, wants to pull at his brain and squeeze the memories out with his bare hands, but the others don’t know that, and since he’s still unfortunately under the effects of the spell, they now seem to be under the impression that he’s suffering from some kind of subconscious fear of the memories he’s missing.

“He did get tortured that one time by the hunters,” Mason suggests as they gather in the living room of Liam’s house and consider their options.

Theo lets out a sigh. They’ve been at this for almost fifteen minutes, and despite his insistence that discussing his missing memories will get them nowhere, they have kept at it regardless. “Unlikely to be the cause of this issue. In fact, I think it has nothing to do with me at all.” Personally, he’s pretty sure Deaton meant ‘actions’ in the sense of him needing to perform some kind of ritual or do something specific in order to break the spell, but no one seems inclined to listen to his opinion on the matter.

“Theo didn’t look all that traumatized by it,” Scott agrees, ignoring him.

“He is good at hiding his pain, though,” Liam counters from where he’s sitting next to Theo, who rolls his eyes at this.

“Guys, I’m not suppressing my memories over some mild torture.”

Scott frowns. “Well, I wouldn’t call it mild…”

“Skewed pain scale, remember?” Liam whispers.

“Right,” Scott says, looking at Theo with concern, which is not too different from the way he usually looks at him. 

“I’m fine,” Theo groans, falling back against the pillows of the couch. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“He also got chased by the ghost riders,” Corey pipes in, almost talking over him.

“We all got chased by the ghost riders,” Liam points out.

“Yes, but he’s the only one under the memory spell, Liam,” Mason says, coming to Corey’s defense.

Liam waves him off. “Anyways, he seemed more scared when Douglas ate that ghost rider’s brain.”

“It was its pineal gland, not its brain,” Mason corrects.

“Well, he cracked its head open and slurped the contents up, so whatever,” Liam says, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back on the couch, shoulder pressed against Theo’s, knees knocking together. No one bats an eye at it anymore, but the first few times Theo and Liam touched each other in front of one of the others, he distinctly remembers getting a few odd looks. He took note of it at the time, but realized pretty quickly afterwards that they were probably just surprised Theo would be willing to touch Liam so much while missing his memories of their relationship - he certainly hadn’t done it with anyone else in the pack. Then again, he thinks even if someone else had taken the same kind of initiative to touch him that Liam had, he probably wouldn’t have taken to it quite as quickly as he did to Liam.

“It was pretty gross,” Scott agrees with a wince. “And Theo looked really freaked out when we found him.”

Liam points at Scott triumphantly. “See!”

“I’ve already told you I doubt it’s because of any of this that my memories aren’t returning,” Theo interjects with an exasperated sigh. “I probably need to do something specific.”

“I hate to say it,” Malia speaks for the first time since the entire discussion began, managing to gather everyone’s attention, “but I think I agree with Theo. Didn’t he spend half of his childhood with those doctor creeps? I don’t think any of that stuff you guys mentioned compares to that.”

Scott seems pensive, while Liam grimaces down at the carpet

“True.” Mason shivers. “Those guys sucked.”

Moving his arm so his hand knocks against the back of Liam’s, Theo says, “So can we now move on from all this useless speculation?” 

“Okay,” Scott sighs, ever the peacemaker, “from what Deaton’s gathered, time doesn't seem to be a danger factor when it comes to this spell, so I say we wait and see. Theo might accidentally break the spell, or the memories might come back on their own. If not, Deaton is still trying to figure out a better way to communicate with the faery so we can get more concrete answers on how to break it. Either way, we should be glad Theo is alright. If Liam hadn't found him when he did…”

Liam stiffens at his side, and he seems to lose his grip on his chemosignals for a second because his scent turns sour. Theo glances at him and notices Mason doing the same out of the corner of his eye. 

“Right,” Mason drawls out, patting his thighs. “We should probably get going, it’s getting late.” He grabs Corey by the wrist, pulling him along with him as he gets up.

“It’s barely 5pm.” Malia frown.

“No, no, Mason’s right,” Scott says gently, slightly widening his eyes at her, “it’s time to go.”

Theo can tell Malia is still confused even as she gets up with Scott and they all head towards the door, saying their goodbyes. He stays seated with Liam, who is glaring intently at a spot on the wall above the tv, and waits until the door closes behind the others before speaking. 

“Hey.” When Liam keeps staring at the wall, he nudges him with his knee. “Liam.”

Finally, Liam turns to him, mouth twisted in anger, eyes not meeting his. “I know you don’t remember,” he says, voice low and tense, “And it’s stupid to be mad at you.”

“Mad at me?” Theo asks, surprised. That was not what he’d been expecting.

Liam runs a hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated noise. “That day, you weren’t supposed to be alone, you know? We had all paired off to search for the missing children and you were with me.”

Theo stares at him, letting that information sink in. “But something happened to separate us?”

Liam glares down at the floor, fists clenching and unclenching on his thighs. “We got into a fight. It was so stupid. You were annoyed I stole your only hoodie because all of mine were either waiting to be washed or needed ironing. Then we started fighting about laundry and cleaning and just dumb household chores. I guess we poked at each other’s wounds a little bit too hard, because at some point you said something about how if it was so hard to live with you then maybe you should just leave.” His eyes are shiny when he meets Theo’s gaze again. “Of course, you didn’t give me a chance to respond and just stormed off, and by the time I calmed down enough to go find you, you were in the creek.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Liam breathes out, Theo can hear his heart racing, can smell the unmasked anger and dread on him, “and I couldn’t even be mad at you for leaving and putting yourself in danger because you went and almost died on me. And then you woke up and you didn’t remember any of it!”

“Sorry.”

Liam makes an aborted gesture with his hand. “Don’t apologize for something you don’t even remember,” he grumbles. “And anyway, I shouldn’t have stolen your one hoodie, or let you go off on your own.” He wipes at his mouth. “Like I said, it's stupid to be mad at you.”

Theo stares at him for a long moment. “I don't think it's stupid.” He tilts his head, kneading at a spot of tension on the back of his neck so he doesn’t reach out and grab Liam's hand. “People only feel one emotion at a time. You just happen to get angry when you're afraid.”

Liam's breath hitches, a strange expression falling over his face. “You-” He stops, mouth snapping shut with a click. 

Theo hesitates. “What?”

Liam lets out a wet chuckle. “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes with the palms of his hands, “you're just so…you.” 

It sounds like a compliment when he says it, just like the last time. Theo feels his ears burn, strangely conflicted. 

He thinks he finally understands what Liam had been trying to say before, about him still being him, even without his memories - that even if they never manage to reverse the spell, Theo’s essence will remain the same, and whoever that person is, they're the one Liam cares about, the one he looks for when he enters a room, the one he smiles at and leans into and offers breakfast to every morning. Liam is upset over the loss of their shared experiences, the connection and intimacy built over those moments, but he’s still willing to rebuild that bridge, even different as it might be, in the case of Theo never getting his memories back. 

It should be more than enough for him, it is more than enough for him - and yet, Theo wants to make Liam happy, wants to give him back all those months of precious relationship building, wants to snap his head in his direction and exclaim that it’s all come back to him, all those things he can only know through stories from the pack. It scares him that he can’t, and it scares him even more that he might never be able to. 

Come back, he thinks at the void in his head, the space where his memories should be, come back where you belong. There is no response, but then again he didn’t expect one. There is only emptiness and a sense of loss he can’t explain. A loss of self, a loss of every version of Liam he has met before but can’t place. He knows the current Liam and the current Liam alone, and has no way to contextualize his actions, his looks and smiles and touches. When he speaks, Liam is leaning back on more than a year of familiarity, without realizing that Theo keeps falling short, unable to decipher every hidden meaning and unspoken word.

Theo looks at him, with his red rimmed eyes and hunched shoulders, and raises his chin, mind clear for the first time since he woke up more than a week ago. “Don’t worry,” he says firmly, “I’ll get my memories back.”

Liam gives him a strange look, sniffing. “How can you know that?”

“I just do,” Theo says simply, a plan already forming. 

One way or another, he’ll make it happen.

Of course, he ends up having to put his plan on the back burner for a bit, because Liam gets the brilliant idea to go on a picnic the following day.

Theo…isn't necessarily against picnics, but he does wonder if the current hunter climate he's heard about from both Liam and the rest of the pack really allows for this sort of thing. With all his imagined scenarios in which they get ambushed by an armed group while sitting on a checkered blanket, he can’t help but remain skeptical of the success of such an outing despite Liam’s insistence that this is exactly what they need to lift up the mood.

Mason and Corey tag along, of course, because summer vacation is apparently all about putting yourself and your friends in danger for no real reason, Theo thinks sourly.

“C’mon, Theo, cheer up. This is gonna be fun,” Liam says, tapping him on the side, fingers dragging over his shirt like he wants to leave an imprint.

“If we get hunted down because you wanted to eat some muffins,” Theo warns, frowning down at the heavy basket he’s carrying. “I won't forgive and I won't forget,” he grumbles, mostly joking. He does think he would hold at least a little bit of a grudge.

Liam laughs, pushing him forward with a hand at the small of his back. “There's no muffins,” he says, and then, as if actually worried about it, “did you want muffins? We can still go back and-”

“No,” Theo says firmly, switching the basket from his left to his right hand and grabbing Liam by the wrist, pulling him along. There's no way he's riding back into town just for that. “I just thought that's what people put in picnic baskets.”

“If you're a cartoon character, maybe,” Mason snorts, eyeing Theo with amusement. 

At Mason’s side, Corey sends Theo a slightly worried look and whispers, “I don't think Theo's ever been on a picnic.”

“I can hear you.” Theo glares at him. “And I've been on a picnic before.” Or so he assumes. He has some vague memories of picnic adjacent activities, so his family must've taken him on one at least once. Not that he's going to explain that out loud. They always seem to react oddly when he mentions anything about his past, as if not sure whether to show concern or act casual about it so he doesn’t freak out. For the record, Theo does know it’s not normal to not remember a good part of his childhood or to have missed formative experiences everyone else seems to consider important, but he’s been dealing with that for years so it’s not like he’s going to have a breakdown over it just because it comes up in conversation.

“It's fine even if you haven't,” Liam assures him, turning his arm in Theo's grip so he can brush a finger over the back of his hand. “We're just having fun!”

“Hopefully not getting captured by hunters,” Theo mutters.

They find a nice little clearing and start setting everything down on the large blanket Liam brought. Theo suspects it hasn’t been washed in a while, what with the slight scent of mold that wafts off of it when Liam shakes it open. 

Once everyone is sat and the food is spread out around them on the blanket, Liam turns to him. “So, what do you wanna eat first?”

Theo lets his gaze trail over the food: several bags of chips, mini sandwiches, various types of cookies, some fruit, what looks like a plate of sausage rolls, a few packs of strawberry yogurt and a bag of mixed nuts. He knows they have a werewolf and two chimeras here, but it’s very doubtful they’ll be able to finish this all off in one afternoon. Did Liam really have to tell Mason to buy all this stuff?

Picking up one of the mini sandwiches, he gives it a small bite, chewing slowly with a small hum. It tastes fine. No one expects the height of cooking from a mini sandwich.

Except Liam, apparently, who looks slightly disappointed at Theo’s lackluster reaction. “Maybe something else?” He suggests, looking around at the rest of the options.

Theo rolls his eyes. “It’s good,” he says, finishing the sandwich off with another bite. “I’m not going to groan in enjoyment even if I do love the food, Liam. You know this.”

Liam makes a slightly disheartened face, then firms up as if accepting that yes, this is a fact about Theo he was already aware of. He grabs a sausage roll for himself, nodding down at it with a strange intensity. “Right. Let’s just relax and enjoy the day. No pressure.”

Theo raises his eyebrows at this, then turns to Mason, sending him an ‘are you seeing this too?’ look. Mason gives him a shrug, clearly having decided to just let Liam do his thing, whatever that might be. 

They eat and chat, then play some card games, which Theo quickly finds out he hates with a passion - a fact that was apparently already known to everyone but him. Why they thought that would change just because he doesn’t remember it is beyond him. It’s like they keep flipflopping between expecting him to be the exact person they’ve grown used to and someone completely different.

Despite seemingly striving for the perfect picnic, Liam remains tense throughout, his smiles somewhat forced. Theo can tell his enjoyment is overblown even though he can’t smell it on him, and he knows with only a glance that both Corey and Mason are aware of it as well. It makes for a strange situation, where everyone is on edge because of it but pretending not to notice so they don’t ruin it for Liam. Theo wonders if he’s focusing so hard on this so he doesn't have to think about everything else. He doesn’t know how good Liam is at compartmentalizing, but his sudden outburst yesterday doesn’t bode well for whatever this ends up being about.

Still, he doesn’t broach the subject until they’re back home, just the two of them, washing and drying the dishes and utensils used in the afternoon. 

“Did you actually enjoy it today?” He starts with, handing Liam a fork.

Liam takes it from him with a confused frown, drying it off with a towel. “Of course I did.”

Theo stays silent for a moment, focusing on a particularly stubborn spot of dry food on a plate. “Just,” he finally says once it comes off, “you seemed a little…tense.”

Liam doesn’t immediately reply, the sound of the water running filling the space between them. “Maybe I was trying too hard, I don’t know.” He lets out a defeated breath, grabbing the plate when Theo offers it up. “I just- I told you we’d make new memories,” he mumbles, and when Theo looks at him he sees that there’s a hint of color high in his cheeks. “A picnic sounded nice. Easy to arrange, no danger-”

“There are hunters out there, you know.”

“-no danger,” Liam repeats, giving him the stink eye, “just some friends, some food…”

“I thought it was nice,” Theo says in what he hopes passes as an ‘I had a lot of fun’ tone of voice. From the look on Liam’s face, he only half-succeeds. “Look, I think you’re thinking about this too hard. Making new memories isn’t about putting down a date on a calendar and following a plan to the dot.” He closes the tap, nudging him on the side with his elbow. “You don’t need to plan an event or force yourself to go out and have fun for the sake of something like that. Just sitting on the couch and watching tv with you is a new experience for me.”

Liam looks at him, hands squeezing around the plate he’s holding. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Theo attempts a genuine smile - he's never been very good at those but Liam seems to brighten up whenever he tries one on, “just- relax, Liam. I’m not going anywhere.” Not anywhere Liam isn’t, at the very least. With or without his memories, he’s pretty sure that certainty will stay the same.

Liam presses his lips together, then nods, carefully placing the plate on the drying rack. “Okay…I’ll try.” He lets out a sigh. “Sorry for being all weird about this.”

“It’s fine. I’ve sort of gotten used to your weirdness.” 

Liam pinches him on the hip. “Pot, kettle much?” 

“I’m an amnesiac,” Theo protests, rubbing at his side. 

“No, Theo,” Liam says with joking sincerity, turning away to walk out of the kitchen. “You were already very weird before that.”

As it is, his plan is back on track now that Liam has given up his half-formed plans for memory making outings. 

Due to his not having attempted it before at any point during his stay here, Theo finds out the hard way that it’s almost impossible to find a chance to slip away from Liam when they live and do most things together (co-dependent dynamic still on track for winning), and his werewolf senses make it so he’s always aware of Theo’s presence in the house, or lack thereof. Still, Theo wasn’t raised(?) by the dread doctors for nothing - even if admittedly it all just ended up with him being buried alive - so two days later, he finally manages to catch a moment where Liam is busy on the phone with Scott, too focused on whatever they’re talking about to pay attention to Theo’s movements, and slips away silently through the back door. 

He walks barefoot into the woods that stretch out behind the house, then keeps walking further in until he reaches a clearing. There, he undresses and drops into a full-shift, shaking his hide as he lands on four legs. The fresh smell of the trees and grass is invigorating, Theo can’t remember the last time he went for a run (quite literally), it feels like forever ago. 

From what everyone but Liam has told him, he can more or less guess where it was that Liam found him. It would’ve been easier if Liam himself had explained the path to him, but even if he’d been inclined to say anything on a subject which he has remained determinedly tight-lipped about aside from that one teary-eyed confession, Theo wouldn’t have been able to ask him about it without setting off any alarms about his plan. So a guess it will have to be.

He walks for what must be at least twenty minutes judging by the position of the sun in the sky, and only stops when he passes under a cluster of trees and finds himself almost tripping right into the creek. 

At the edge, he pulls out of the shift and uncurls into a standing position, dipping one foot into the water where it streams gently between rocks that peek out from beneath the clear surface. It’s cold, the chill reminding him of the freezer he’d kept waking up in, again and again, knowing his sister was on the other side of the door waiting for him. His body screams at him to go back, leave this place and return home, where Liam is, the house with the peeling yellow paint and the creaky couch. Instead, he takes in a harsh breath and steps in, deeper and deeper, until he's submerged from his neck down and treading water. His pulse skyrockets when he dips his head under, a shock like nothing he's ever experienced, spreading to every single one of his nerve endings. The sensation zips through his limbs like lightning, burning across his chest. His head feels on the verge of exploding.

A flash of light behind his eyes, a dark shape, and suddenly he's brought back to that night, stomping through the woods with a ball of bitterness and anger building in his chest, wishing he were someone else, better and nicer and easier. Someone Liam could look at without remembering their shared history of violence - Theo’s viciousness and stained hands. No matter how hard he tried it felt like he was stuck, nothing ever changed - he was accepted, he was welcomed, and yet, he couldn’t shrug off the coat of his past, be born anew as someone clean. Sometimes, he wished they’d actually killed him instead of sending him down to hell, just so he wouldn’t have to walk around with that weight on his chest, the regret and shame that, from time to time, felt almost impossible to bear. 

He knew he was spiraling, knew that getting angry at Liam over his own insecurities over his place in his life was stupid and irrational, but he couldn’t help himself. Every time they argued, Theo was reminded of how much he didn’t deserve this second chance and how much Liam was putting up with just by letting him hang around. 

He didn’t even care about the hoodie, is the thing. Theo had had many clothes to choose from before he’d been sent to the skinwalkers prison, but when he’d come back, all he’d had left were the ones on his back and the few he’d had stashed in his jeep. He’d had enough money saved up to buy some second hand ones while he’d been homeless, but things changed when he’d moved in with Liam, and somewhere along the way, he’d taken to borrowing his clothes instead of buying new ones - it’s not like Liam would miss them, he had plenty. The problem was that he’d forgotten that in doing so, Liam would assume Theo’s own closet was also fair game. He liked Liam’s scent, and he especially liked wearing Liam’s clothes and having it surround him like a safety blanket, but he hadn’t expected to see Liam wearing his, to see him clambering down the stairs clad in his hoodie like it belonged to him, like Theo’s smell didn’t bother him at all. In retrospect, he’d caught Liam’s scent a little too strongly on a few of his clothes before, but he’d been so used to the mixing of their scents in the wash that he hadn’t even considered that Liam had been stealing them too. 

So really, he didn’t care about the hoodie, he’d just made a stupid little remark about it because he couldn’t let it go unsaid, couldn’t help but point it out like someone pressing the big red button they were warned not to. He’d managed to hold himself back from doing it until they were already deep in the woods, but each glance at Liam had made it more and more impossible to hold back. Of course, once he’d said it, Liam had immediately gone on the defensive, taking Theo’s words the wrong way and assuming he’d been mad about it. And then Theo had gotten mad at Liam for getting mad at him, because shouldn’t he know better by now? Shouldn’t he have already realized that Theo was so stupid about him he could steal his whole wardrobe and he would still think the sun shined out of his ass? Was he that oblivious? Or was Theo the one in the wrong? Had his version of closeness been skewed all along, had his attempts at caring failed to reach Liam, despite everything? 

The argument kept building, they kept throwing jabs that managed to land exactly right each time, and by the end of it Theo was so full of self-loathing he’d blurted out something he didn’t even mean. He knew Liam was only lashing out because he was embarrassed, thinking he’d been caught doing something Theo didn’t want him to. He knew where he was welcomed and where he wasn’t, and Liam had never shown signs of wanting him gone - despite his anger, despite all the little fights they’d gotten into along the way and everything that came before. But he’d chosen to give into his darker thoughts, the cloud of hate in his mind that whispered in his ear, unwanted, unlovable, irredeemable. 

He’d left, even though neither of them should be alone when some unknown supernatural creature was out lurking in the woods. He’d left Liam vulnerable and he’d left himself vulnerable, and that was why when he felt the first pinching at the back of his neck, there was no one there to warn him to run. 

After the first pinch came another on his arm, then on his leg, then another and another and another, all throughout his body. A bright light blinked into existence, shining directly on his face. Suddenly, he couldn’t see or hear anything aside from a strange loud buzzing, which grew in intensity along with the pain. He threw himself forward, trying to fight off the invisible attacks, and through the light, he managed to glimpse the rushing water of a creek, only a few steps ahead. Without time for another thought, he ran, legs burning with every step, the pain making it difficult to move. He jumped into the water, gasping as the coldness hit him. Still, the attacks didn’t stop, he was only waist deep. Pushing against the current that threatened to send him downstream, he walked deeper in, further and further until he was almost fully submerged. 

Slowly, the pain subsided, the frigid water numbing his extremities and working as a shield against whatever was hurting him. He didn’t know what it was, but the fear of Liam getting caught up in it suddenly gripped him, making him dizzy with desperation. He needed to get away from here and find Liam, they needed to get the others.

He was just starting to catch his breath when the blinding light abruptly went out, replaced by a dark shadow that covered the moon, resembling a swarm of bees but slightly bigger. Theo’s eyes went wide. Faeries, he thought, and that’s about all he managed to think before one of them flew down at him, and everything went dark.

He opens his eyes with a suppressed gasp, ignoring the sting of the water. He can see the rocks beneath his feet, covered in moss and rounded by years of erosion, can see a school of fish swimming by, close enough to almost brush his bare legs, ignoring him like he isn’t even a threat. 

His mind feels full, memories slotted back into place like they never left. Feelings, too - the ones even that stupid spell couldn’t erase. 

What a mess. He thinks back to everything he did and said during the past almost two weeks. He can’t believe he allowed himself to touch Liam so freely, to follow every single desire like it cost him nothing. And Liam let him too - accepted and initiated it so casually Theo had assumed it was natural for them. It makes no sense. Before all of this happened, the most Theo managed to do in ways of intimate displays was borrow Liam’s clothes, because at least then he had the excuse of his own pitiful wardrobe. There had been no sleepovers, no touching backs and brushing shoulders - certainly no petting. What is he supposed to make of Liam’s easily given affection? It feels unearned; he got a blank slate without the hardened walls he’s grown around his feelings, all the reasons why he has to keep them back where they can’t touch Liam, and he somehow managed to do everything he promised himself he wouldn’t, save for one - because even memoryless him was smart enough to realize that voicing whatever muddy emotions he had swimming in his chest was a bad idea.

He’s taken out of his increasingly anxious thoughts by a movement in the water that sends ripples against his body. A moment later, there are arms around his waist, dragging him up until he’s breaking the surface. Through the sound of rushing water, he hears Liam’s voice.

“-the hell were you thinking?!”

He lets himself be pulled along until they’re on the shallow edge of the creek. Then, blinking droplets out of his lashes, he turns to Liam. His hair is plastered to his forehead and dripping into his face in an almost comical way, but the look in his eyes is anything but amusing. Lips turned down in a grimace, eyebrows furrowed - he looks angry. He looks terrified, eyes glowing the yellow gold of the shift, a scent of terror wafting off of him like he’s lost complete control over his chemosignals.

“Why would you do something so stupid?! Why would-” 

“Liam,” Theo breathes out, cutting him off, and with that single word Liam seems to understand what has happened, his grip loosening around Theo’s waist, expression breaking open.

“Theo?” He whispers, hesitantly and oh so softly, as if he’s afraid it won’t be true if he speaks too loud.

“I remember,” Theo says, throat dry, heart rate rising. The urge to run away pokes its head out of the dirt, and with considerable strength of will he shoves it back under.

Liam’s gaze stays fixed on him, eyes wide. He lifts one hand up to cradle Theo’s face, thumb swiping across his cheek. “How?” 

“I’m not sure,” Theo admits, heat coursing through him despite the chill of the water. Liam’s touch feels like hot coal on his skin - both new and already familiar. “I thought it couldn’t hurt to try and come here, see if anything got knocked loose.”

“It could hurt!” Liam hits him in the arm, then grabs it as if to soothe the non-existent pain. “You could’ve drowned!”

Theo wants to argue - from what he remembers, the only reason he almost drowned last time was because those freaking faeries knocked him out with their spell - but he supposes now isn’t the time. Instead, he sighs and says, “How about we get out first?”

With a small glare, Liam concedes. They climb out of the creek together, Liam in the front but visibly tracking Theo’s movements by the slight tilt of his head. Once they’re safely on solid ground, Liam turns around with his mouth open, clearly ready to start back on berating him, but stops short when he actually takes him in. 

“You’re naked,” he squeaks, eyes snapping up to Theo’s face, then to the side, stopping at some point above his shoulder. “Why are you naked?”

“I shifted.” 

“Umm.” Liam glances down at himself, then starts unzipping his jeans. “Here,” he says, stepping out of them and handing them to Theo. 

“My clothes are out there somewhere, I can just get them on the way to the house,” Theo says, but accepts the jeans when Liam starts pushing them insistently at him, face firmly turned away. “Don’t be a prude, Liam.”

“I’m not a prude!” Liam shouts. “You can’t just go around the woods naked! You’ll get arrested!”

“By whom? The fox committee?” Theo snorts, stepping into the wet jeans. He and Liam wear the same size, but wet as they are, Theo has a harder time than usual sliding them up his thighs, where they stick to his skin. Jumping slightly, he finally manages to drag them up, and when he looks back up at Liam he sees that his face is still turned away, a flush rising up his cheeks - he’s acting like he doesn’t shower naked with a bunch of guys after every lacrosse practice, the idiot. Theo really doesn’t get him sometimes. “Can we go?” He asks. “Being naked was 100% preferable to this.”

“To you, maybe,” Liam mutters, stalking through the opening under the trees and immediately turning in the direction of the clearing Theo had left his clothes in. He must have seen them when chasing after Theo’s scent, which means he knew Theo was naked and somehow managed to completely forget about it in the time it took him to get here. Classic, Theo thinks, and feels the unfortunate return of one of his regular Liam related emotions: fondness. 

Though, if he thinks about it, he supposes it never really left.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, and only as they’re nearing the clearing does Liam speak at last, “Don’t ever do anything this reckless again.”

Theo blinks. “That sounds like something I’d usually be the one saying.”

“Guess you were more of an idiot last year than you are now,” Liam grunts as they reach the clearing. Bending down, he starts picking up Theo’s clothes, folding each piece carefully before draping them over his arm.

Or maybe you’re always too busy jumping into danger to notice me jumping right after you, Theo thinks, but keeps from voicing it for the sake of keeping the peace. He gestures for Liam to hand over his clothes. “I wanna-”

“You can change at home,” Liam quickly cuts in, holding the clothes away from him. “Let’s go.”

Defeated, Theo follows after him. “Bossy.”

Liam doesn’t reply, treading through the undergrowth like a soldier on a mission.

Soon enough, they’re stepping into the kitchen. 

Theo’s feet are absolutely filthy, and he wastes some time rubbing them fruitlessly on the mat before giving up and resigning himself to tracking mud inside the house. 

“Go shower,” Liam says curtly, and his tone is back to upset, that sharp scent of anger Theo is used to wafting off of him. He clearly wants Theo to smell it.

Eyeing him warily, Theo says, “Maybe we should call Scott first.”

Liam glowers at him. “Shower. Then we talk. And then we call Scott.”

“Ok,” Theo says slowly, a mild sense of trepidation rising in him.

He takes the shortest shower known to man, scrubbing all the dirt off like he’s running out of time. Once he’s done, Liam replaces him in the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a warning look, as if to tell him not to dare run away. Theo wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted. With his memories back, there’s no longer any question as to what was keeping him in Beacon Hills all this time. The string tying him to Liam is firmly wrapped around his heart - if he pulls on it too hard, it might genuinely kill him.

So he sits and waits on his bed, dressed in a pair of comfortable shorts and a shirt, towel draped across his shoulders and hair dripping water down the sides of his cheeks. 

He almost jumps when Liam finally walks in, wearing a similar pair of shorts and an oversized sleeveless shirt, hair similarly wet. He’s clearly used his time in the shower to think about what he wanted to say, because he immediately starts with, “When you said you’d get your memories back, did you mean you were going to do this?”

Theo presses his lips together, wishing he could avoid this conversation. “Yes.”

Liam lets out a breath, looking up as if asking the heavens for patience. “You’re such an asshole.”

Theo leans back on his hands, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t operating at full capacity. I had amnesia, remember? Besides, it worked, didn’t it?” He shrugs one shoulder. “I think I did a good job of it, actually.”

“You could’ve died,” Liam says through gritted teeth, gaze heavy. “Do you think one year’s worth of memories are worth your life?”

Theo doesn’t answer. Any other year’s worth of memories might not, but this was a year’s worth of memories of Liam. He thinks he would’ve taken the risk even now, if the choice was between losing them or not.

His silence seems to be enough answer for Liam. “I told you we could make new ones,” his voice cracks as he says it, and Theo realizes he’s genuinely upset. It sends a pang through Theo’s chest.

Getting up from the bed, he steps up to him. “Sorry.” He doesn’t know what else to say, Liam would know if he lied. He always seems to, nowadays.

Liam looks away, teeth worrying at his lower lip. “You’re an asshole.”

“You’ve said that already.”

“Can you just try and put yourself in my shoes for a second?” He explodes, arms spread out at his sides. “One moment you’re here and the next one you’re not. I follow your scent and realize halfway through that you didn’t just randomly give into a wolfy urge to go on a run but instead decided to go to the site of one of the worst nights of my life. I thought it was happening all over again!” His breath hitches as he looks at Theo. “I thought this time I wouldn’t get there in time to breathe you back to life!”

Theo blinks. “You…” He didn’t know this - why did no one tell him this? “You gave me CPR,” he says, not a question. It makes sense. Everyone kept saying he almost drowned, but he never questioned the logistics of it. If Liam found him in the creek…of course that’s what happened.

“You were so still, you weren’t breathing,” Liam gasps out, and the confession looks like it’s been forced out of him, his eyes raw with pain. “You weren’t breathing and I didn’t know what to do and I thought you were dead!” He grabs at his shirt’s chest, pulling at the fabric like it hurts him. He isn’t crying, but he might as well have been with how Theo can smell the fear and devastation coming off of him.  

A hint of remorse starts peeking its head. He wanted those memories back so Liam would be happy, he didn’t want this.  “I’m really sorry,” he says quietly, tongue flicking out to wet his dry lips. “I didn’t know. I didn’t think-”

Liam abruptly steps forward, his movements almost frantic. “Two times is two times too many,” he says in a low voice, eyes rimmed red and intent as he looks at Theo. “Don’t ever do this again.” When Theo doesn’t immediately reply, he grabs him by the arms, grip tight to the point of bruising. “I’m serious, Theo. I don’t think I can go through this again.”

“I won’t,” Theo says. He can at least confidently say this exact situation won’t happen ever again. He can’t make any promises about not dying, or never being in danger again, but for now he can at least give Liam this small comfort. “I promise.”

Liam lets out a sigh, closing his eyes as if the simple act of Theo’s promise is enough to ease him of a heavy burden he’s been carrying. Thinking back, no matter how angry he claimed to be at Theo for going off on his own, he must have been blaming himself twice as much for not immediately chasing after him, the guilt eating away at him every day without any outlet. 

“I’m sorry,” Theo says again, chest aching. “I shouldn’t have gone off on my own, I shouldn’t have left you behind.” He lifts one hand to grasp at Liam’s extended forearm. “None of what happened was your fault.”

Liam takes in a shaky breath, head dipped low. He looks as if he’s trying to gather himself and Theo allows him the time, standing there in silence while he slowly breathes in and out. Then, as if reaching some kind of inner resolution, he drops his hands from Theo’s arms and promptly pulls him into a hug, arms circling around his middle and face pressing flush against the side of his neck. “Do you remember what happened?”

Theo fumbles for a moment, his entire body overheating from the sudden embrace. Finally, he lifts his arms and wraps them around Liam’s shoulders, allowing his cheek to drop and rest against the side of Liam’s head. It doesn’t come easily to him, this kind of affection, but rejecting it isn’t even in the realm of possibilities. Even though they’ve never done this before, not him and not the version of him with no memories to hold him back, Liam does it as easily as he did everything else, like it isn’t a first for him as well. Theo can’t wrap his head around it. “I do.”

Liam shuffles slightly, pressing his nose against Theo’s pulsepoint. “And?”

Swallowing, Theo tries to steady his heartbeat. “They were doing something. It hurt, but I don’t know what it was. I ran into the water to escape them and then they must’ve cast the memory spell, which just so happened to knock me out. Not ideal while in a body of water.” He pauses for a moment, forcefully pushing down any stray thought regarding their position. “Actually, maybe they weren’t even trying to kill me, just chase me away.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Liam murmurs, squeezing him closer. And, yeah, he’s definitely sniffing him now - Theo doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel about that. Something deep inside him burns. “Even after you got attacked we had no idea what did it, we only figured out it was faeries when one of the kids managed to escape on his own. Scott told me their colony wasn't too far from where I found you.”

“I must've stumbled onto their territory without even realizing it,” Theo says, everything coming together like pieces of a puzzle. “The memory spell was probably their attempt at making me forget its location...”

“Which became redundant once you stumbled upon it again,” Liam finishes with a groan, pulling back just far enough to look at him, mouth set into a scowl. “It’s infuriating that your plan actually worked.”

Theo attempts a smirk despite the heat he can feel climbing up his face. Is this normal pack affection, he wonders? He doesn’t know. Even with all his memories to fall back on, he doesn’t know. 

Liam stares at him for a moment, then pushes his face back against Theo’s neck, nosing at the spot behind his ear where Theo finds he’s unexpectedly sensitive, a shiver running down his spine at the contact. No one’s ever touched him like this, he’s at a complete loss for what to do. His fingers scramble aimlessly across Liam’s shoulderblades, warmth blooming in his chest, growing every second they remain pressed together. 

“Liam,” he tries, lip trembling slightly on the name. He feels like he’s growing a fever, body too hot, mouth dry. 

“You know,” Liam says, startling him with the loudness of his voice, “when you didn’t have your memories, you were much more open to things like this.”

Embarrassment stirs low in Theo’s gut. “We never did something like this. And I thought it was normal for us. You made it seem like it was normal for us. I was trying to keep to the status quo.” 

He still can’t quite believe how fast he got used to touching Liam without his memories, how he let himself do it so easily and how Liam himself encouraged it and reciprocated. For so long, he thought being offered a finger and taking a hand would be too much, but Liam had allowed him to take the entire arm without even batting an eye. It’s put all his pre-existing certainties into question. He no longer exists in a world where touching Liam is something that can only happen in moments of crisis; the lines he drew for himself have been erased and he can’t figure out where to place new ones, how to behave himself so he doesn’t take more than he’s permitted.

Liam makes a small noise and pulls back, hands trailing across Theo’s sides to come rest at his hips. “You started it. Why would I have stopped you?” 

Theo thinks back on everything that happened, realizing Liam’s probably referring to when he willingly lied against him in bed. Liam must know how flimsy of a justification that is, though, because he’s avoiding his gaze, eyes fixed somewhere behind him like if he stares hard enough he’ll be freed from this conversation.

Theo allows his arms to drop from his shoulders, taking a small step back. He tilts his head, eyeing Liam’s face closely. “How were you so casual about it? Are you secretly a very good liar?” He asks, only half-joking.

Liam purses his lips, then gives him a stubborn look. “You’re so hard to get close to, Theo. Like a skittish animal. Of course if the cat you’ve been feeding suddenly lets you pet it, you’re gonna take the chance to do it.” His face is flushed a deep crimson as he says it, but he sticks to it and keeps talking. “If you act too eager about it, it runs away. You have to pretend like nothing’s out of the ordinary.” He shrugs, unapologetic. “It worked, didn’t it?” He says, mockingly, an echo of Theo’s earlier words.

Theo isn’t sure he enjoys being compared to a small frightened animal, but he can barely focus on that, he’s too stuck on the implication that the only thing stopping Liam from getting close to him this entire time was Theo himself; that the walls he built to protect them both had been keeping Liam locked out against his will.

“But why did you go to my room that night?” He asks, tentatively.

Liam’s eyes widen and he dips his head down to hide his expression. “I always hear you when you wake up like that in the middle of the night.”

“You do?” 

Theo hadn’t realized that, but it makes sense now, with all these new facts on display. Liam had practically admitted to tracking his breathing at night as if it was something he did often. Without his memories, Theo had initially assumed it was because Liam thought of him as a threat, and then later, after some days, had decided that rather than that, it must’ve been because he was afraid Theo without his memories would be a threat. But no, Liam had been doing it for another reason altogether. He’d been…worried. About him. 

Before the faery ordeal, Theo was no longer having nightmares as often as he did when he first moved into Liam’s house, but he still had them every other week. Liam would’ve been hyperaware of his being in the house in the beginning - a new presence in a werewolf’s territory tends to mess with their senses for a while before they get used to it - and he must’ve noticed Theo waking up in the middle of the night then. And afterwards, when he no longer had any reason to be waking up to the sound of Theo’s changed breathing, he kept an ear out anyway - just because he wanted to. Because he cared. 

“You were in a new place, with people you viewed as your enemies,” Liam says quietly. “Normally I wouldn’t have done it, I knew you wouldn’t like it. But I thought…” He lets out a soft sigh. “And you didn’t kick me out. You even went along with my suggestion, even though I was talking out of my ass when I said it’d work.”

“And so you pet the cat.”

“I pet the cat,” Liam nods, brows furrowed. His hands squeeze once at Theo’s hips, then he lets go and moves away, rubbing a knuckle against his forehead. “It’s fine if you want to go back to how things were before. I’m not gonna freak out or anything. It was only a week.” He says it with a grimace, like he really hopes that’s not what Theo wants.

“It was more than a week. Do you not know how to count?”

“Shut up.”

Theo leans forward and grabs him by the wrist, pulling him back in. He feels so stupidly fond it's ridiculous. “It’s fine, Liam. You can get all up close and personal, I won’t bite you.” He pauses. “Or scratch.”

“It was just an analogy,” Liam groans with a visibly suppressed smile. 

They stare at each other for a moment, Liam looking at him like Theo’s simple permission is a gift wrapped in gold. 

“Thank you,” he says, and pushes back into Theo’s space as if dragged by a magnet, hands sliding up Theo’s back to rest in the middle of his shoulderblades. He takes in a loud breath, nuzzling his face against Theo’s cheek like a particularly loveable dog.

“You like hugs,” Theo notes, voice only slightly breathless. He awkwardly pats Liam on the shoulder, shivering when Liam sweeps a hand down his spine to come rest at the small of his back.

“I like you,” Liam corrects, sounding almost drunk as he inhales deeply, and only seems to realize what he’s said when Theo freezes in his arms. “Ah.” He tenses up, staying still for a pregnant moment, before leaning back very slowly, as if afraid to scare Theo off. Looking at him with wide, wary eyes, he goes, “Uh.” And then starts turning a very interesting shade of red. “I mean…” He snaps his mouth shut, seemingly deciding whatever he says now will not help his case in any way.

Theo still has a hand on Liam’s shoulder, gripping it like a lifeline. He opens his mouth to speak, an attempt at reassurance, but finds himself at a similar loss for words. Liam blinks at him, he blinks back. Then, unable to help himself, Theo’s gaze drops to his lips. Soft and pink, darkened from his worrying at them. He forces his eyes away a second later but it’s too late - Liam has already seen it, and he’s staring at Theo like he’s having a revelation.

“Oh,” he breathes, then without any further warning dips his head forward and kisses him.

Theo gasps, mouth opening in surprise, then groans at the feeling of Liam’s tongue brushing his, the warm wet heat of it, the surge of want that goes down his body at the touch. The thought of drawing back comes and goes just as quickly, and he gives into the kiss like a starved man being offered a meal. Sliding his hand up to Liam’s neck, he runs his fingers up the soft hairs at his nape, revelling in the way Liam lets out a soft pleased hum and pulls him closer by the waist, pressing their chests flush together. The room seems to disappear, every sensation narrowing down to Liam’s mouth on his, his hands slipping under his shirt, nails dragging across soft skin, teeth nipping at his lower lip. Liam’s scent is overpowering, broadcasting his emotions like he has no plans of hiding anything now that he’s given into this. Their intensity is like a shock to Theo’s system, he’d forgotten what it was like back at the beginning when Liam used to show everything so openly, a baby wolf still learning to walk.

It’s overwhelming how much Theo wants him - how much Liam seems to want him in return. He feels dizzy with desire, pressing closer, closer, closer, trailing fingertips across Liam’s ribs, over his shirt, then under, warm skin so tantalizing he could go insane. All the while, Liam keeps licking into his mouth, lips sliding against his with scary precision, like he somehow knows exactly every sensitive spot, every way to drag a noise out of Theo. 

They pull apart to catch their breaths, but one look at Liam’s flushed face and the yellow shine of his eyes has Theo dragging him back in, meeting him in another kiss, and another, and another. He wants to keep at it forever, wants to draw Liam in and in until he’s nestled inside him right behind his ribcage, safe and warm and protected from the world. Except then he couldn’t kiss him like this, so maybe they’re both better off out here where they can touch as much as they like. Where Liam is solid and heavy against him, and Theo can push his thumb against his pulsepoint, feel the blood thrumming in his veins. He wants to bite him right there, not to stake his claim but just for the sake of it, and only manages to keep from doing it through sheer force of will. 

Liam, on the other hand, seems much less inclined to resist his most basic instincts, and not a moment later dips his head down and bites into the curve between Theo’s neck and shoulder. It’s a soft bite, barely a nibble, but Theo sees stars from it and the following sensation of Liam’s tongue licking over the mark he’s left. He blinks dazedly at the far wall as Liam drops a peck on his bite, then trails kisses up his neck, up and up until he’s back at his mouth, kissing him lazily, the slide of their lips slow and sweet. Theo wants to complain about it, warn Liam about carelessly going around biting people as a werewolf beta and forming bad habits he might need to break later on; but he finds he doesn’t actually care about any of that at the moment, not when his chest feels so full, his lips tingling and his face burning. He closes his eyes, lets himself fall back into it - happiness is unfamiliar to him, but he thinks this might actually be something close to it.

They stand there trading kisses for a few minutes longer, but eventually have to give into the need to part and take a breather. Theo opens his eyes slowly, feeling like he’s waking up from a dream, only to almost close them again at the sight that greets him. Liam looks a mess, with his cheeks red, pupils blown wide, and lips stained like smudged lipstick. His hair is sticking out in odd places from Theo running his hand through it, and he’s got such a deep satisfied look on his face it’s actually sort of embarrassing. Theo’s brain can’t seem to compute the fact that he’s the reason for it. 

“Hey,” Liam murmurs into the small space between them, a smile curling at the corner of his mouth.

Theo feels an unnamed emotion welling up in his chest, something gooey and fluttery that makes his toes curl on the carpeted floor.  “You like me?” He breathes out.

Liam lets out a soft laugh. “Obviously.”

“It wasn’t obvious before,” Theo says, heartbeat refusing to slow down. He feels high on Liam, his smell and his presence all encompassing. 

“I worked really hard on that, especially these last two weeks. The chemosignals were one thing, but my heartbeat was really hard to control, you know,” Liam tells him as he grasps his hand, fingers hot where they intertwine with Theo’s. “I know I slipped up sometimes, but still. You should be proud.”

Theo resists the urge to drag him into another kiss. It should be illegal for someone to be this charming. “So you took what I taught you and used it for evil, I see.”

Liam tilts his head, making a mock confused face. “No, no. I think I used it exactly how you were using it,” he says, and leans forward to peck Theo on the lips, because it’s seemingly becoming a trend for him to give into every impulse Theo keeps secretly suppressing.

Without conscious thought, Theo finds himself chasing after him when he pulls back, lips half pursed for another kiss. Liam doesn’t make fun of him for it - rather, he looks delighted, diving back in with gusto and kissing him once, then twice, then three times, teeth scraping over Theo’s lower lip when he withdraws at last. 

“For the record,” Theo says, voice hoarse like he's just come up for air. “I wasn’t mad about you wearing my hoodie.”

Liam looks a little distracted, gaze glued to his lips like he’s considering going in for a fourth kiss, but he blinks at him when he finally registers what Theo’s said. “You weren’t?”

Theo shakes his head.

Liam squeezes his eyes shut, groaning. “Then what were we even fighting about?”

“You thinking I was mad that you stole my hoodie,” Theo says, which makes it sound even dumber than he already thought it was. 

“Jesus, we need to figure out this communication thing,” Liam sighs, squeezing Theo’s hand. 

“Maybe just a little,” Theo agrees, biting back a smile - he's pretty sure it’d turn out a little silly if he let it form. “Step one: stop masking your chemosignals so much. I didn’t teach you that so you could use it against me, you know?”

Liam makes a face at him. “But you mask yours all the time, it’s not fair.”

“You don’t want to know what I’m feeling most of the time, trust me,” Theo tells him, allowing a sliver of his emotions to slip through into his scent.

Liam goes still, nose twitching. His eyes take on a slightly glazed sheen. “Woah,” he breathes out, then moves into Theo’s space as if pulled in by an invisible string. “That’s amazing.”

Theo frowns, leaning away. “What?”

“Is that really how you’re feeling right now?” Liam asks, gazing at him with such intensity it’s almost scary. 

Theo clamps it down, forcing his scent back into a neutral state.

“Wha-” Liam looks almost affronted at the action. “Why’d you mask it again?”

“You were being weird about it,” Theo grumbles.

“I’m weird about everything involving you,” Liam says, dropping his head onto Theo’s chest. It’s an embarrassing admission but he doesn’t seem to care at all that he’s said it. “Can’t you let it go sometimes? When it’s just the two of us?” He shifts so his temple rests against Theo’s shoulder, looking sideways up at him. “I don’t mean all the time. Just- like this. In moments like these.”

Theo mulls over it for a moment, allowing the small caress of Liam’s thumb on the back of his hand to sway him. “Fine,” he says semi-reluctantly, looking up at the ceiling and once again letting his emotions slip through. Doing it makes him feel too vulnerable and open - he managed it somewhat fine when he was lacking his memories and his control was completely shot, but that was only because he had no other choice but to deal with it, and he had the consolation of being able to control some of it. What Liam is asking for is something bigger - scarier. But it seems to make him happy, which appears to be all Theo needs lately to give into his demands. His amnesiac self was right, he really is a sucker.

“Thank you,” Liam says, lifting his head from his shoulder and smiling like he’s just been offered something precious.  “I was gonna ask if you liked me too, but I don’t think I need to do that anymore.”

Theo feels the tips of his ears turn hot. “What are we, grade schoolers?” 

“We just talked about improving our communication,” Liam says, leaning in to nose at his neck, then up behind his ear again. 

“Well,” Theo swallows, “I mostly meant you should improve yours. I’ve been doing fine at it.” He turns his head, burying his nose in Liam’s still wet hair - it smells citrusy, like the shampoo they both share.

“You almost died,” Liam mutters darkly. “I wouldn’t call it ‘doing fine’,” 

“An average misunderstanding would not lead to a faery attack. That was an outlier,” Theo says, breath hitching at the end when Liam starts dragging his lips up along his neck.

“Incorrigible,” he whispers, mouth inches from Theo’s, then moves up that last bit and pulls him into a slow kiss that quickly turns heated when Theo opens his mouth, wanting to taste him on his tongue. Liam’s scent spikes with arousal and he lets out a low moan, pressing in closer with an almost frantic need. “Yeah, yeah,” he pants, parting from Theo to stare at him with feverish eyes, “you definitely need to keep your scent unmasked when we’re like this.”

Theo attempts to steady his pulse and fails miserably. “Shut up.”

Liam grins and kisses him again.

Later, once they’ve finally successfully extricated themselves from each other and managed to call Scott to update him on the situation, Theo sits back on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap and Liam glued to his side like he’s afraid he’ll disappear into the woods again if he leaves him for even a second. They’re supposed to be watching a movie, at Liam’s suggestion, but Theo can practically feel his gaze burning into the side of his face.

“Okay,” he says, pausing the TV and turning to look at him, “what is it?”

Liam blinks. “Ah,” he shakes his head as if he’d been completely unaware of his staring. “Sorry, it’s nothing. I just-” He glances at the TV, then back at Theo. “I just never realized how immersed you actually got in these, you always look so bored the entire time.”

Theo raises an eyebrow at that. “As opposed to crying and shouting at the screen?”

Liam bumps his shoulder in mock annoyance. “I’m just saying it’s nice to know what you’re actually feeling once in a while. Trying to read the meaning behind your every action isn’t as easy as I make it seem, you know?”

“You’ve never once made it seem easy,” Theo deadpans. 

“Wha-” Liam splutters. “I can definitely read you better than anyone else in the pack!”

Theo snorts, relaxing a little now that he’s sure Liam isn’t having some kind of delayed freakout over what happened. “The bar is on the ground.” 

“Now that’s just rude.”

“They all suck at it, except maybe Stiles.”

“I think Stiles only knows how to read malicious intent on you,” Liam grumbles, smelling oddly offended. “I’m way better.”

Theo sighs, steeling himself for one more confession. He might as well be honest while he’s still drunk on this feeling. It won’t be so easy later on. “Do you know why I panicked when I saw you had my jeep key?” 

Liam pauses, seemingly thrown by the question. “Possessiveness?” It’s clearly a guess.

Theo rolls his eyes. Of course he’d end up being right without even realizing the reason behind it. “Yes, I’m possessive over it. Because that car is my one sure way out of this place.” He watches as Liam’s eyes widen slightly. “In my head, I was just finding out my stupid self with the memories basically locked himself in a cell and handed you the keys.” 

“Oh.” Liam swallows, expression going watery. “It did feel like a big deal when you gave it to me, but I never thought that’s how you viewed it.”

Theo shrugs, faking nonchalance even though he knows his scent must be broadcasting how hard it is for him to say even just this. “Well, amnesiac me wasn’t necessarily wrong, but I don’t think of it in that negative light, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” He purses his lips, looking away towards the TV, where the screen is paused on an airshot of a dark foggy forest. “What I mean is,” he lets out a breath, “there’s always going to be stuff you won’t be able to understand if I don’t say it out loud, and I know I joked about that whole communication thing but I am aware I suck at it. So if this helps,” he gestures to himself, the way his scent remains open and unmasked, “I’ll do it, when it’s just us two.” He keeps his eyes on the TV, refusing to look over and see whatever expression goes to match with the mushy feelings Liam’s scent is practically smothering him in.

His restraint is meaningless, though, because a second later Liam is jumping on him, ignoring his shouted, ‘Liam, the popcorn!’, and pushing the bowl off of his lap to take its place like an overgrown dog that still thinks it’s small. 

“You’re gonna clean that later,” Theo mutters breathily in between the following onslaught of kisses. “Unhand me, you weirdo.”

“You like it. Don’t pretend, you know it’s useless,” Liam says smugly, dropping a kiss right under his eye. “I can smell it.”

Theo’s hands go up to hold him by the waist, keeping him from toppling over onto the floor. “I take it back. I’m never letting you smell anything ever again.” 

“Such a liar,” Liam grins, taking in a clearly pointed breath of Theo’s still unmasked scent. 

Theo moves his head back, avoiding a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Hmm? What was that?”

Liam grabs his face with both hands and pulls him back in, unfazed. “I said,” he whispers, mouth a hair’s breadth away from Theo’s, “you’re such a liar,” and catches his lips in his, effectively shutting up any comeback he might’ve had coming.

Alright, Theo thinks dizzily, opening up for him, I’ll let him win just this once.

END