Work Text:
Akito was beautiful.
That was really the only way Toya could describe him as he sang, reigniting the flames of the people in Vivid Street and it was so clear when you looked into his eyes that drew you in so easily, that he was enjoying every second of it. Toya could stare into those eyes forever. But forever wasn't possible so he decided that he'd have to settle for wanting to stare into Akito's eyes for the rest of their lives.
Maybe it was Toya somehow managing to sound more romantic than he usually did when thinking about Akito but since that day, the seed of a feeling he'd had ever since he met him had started growing, one that would make his heart beat faster than it usually did around Akito, one that would make Toya stare at his lips as much as his eyes, one that made him yearn to be in his arms when he hadn't ever longed for human contact before.
. . .
One that was getting harder to ignore.
He knew that if he gave into them, then people might write off Vivid Bad Squad before meeting them, might say they couldn't perform at important live houses, he couldn't do that to them (it would be no use hiding it because neither he nor Akito would be able stop holding hands for long).
Saki really was glad for her friends.
Despite her worries about drifting apart after becoming pro, they waited until she'd gathered the courage to have faith they would stay together before signing the contract. They'd said it was okay that she wanted to cheer people up more than she wanted to go pro. They'd made sure she wasn't alone her whole life and she loved them more than the world. Honestly, why can't she just stay with them forever, when you have friends like them, do you even need a boyfriend?
Ichi had to be the most thoughtful person Saki knew.
The Thanks Festival had gone spectacularly, Ichi had played so well and seeing how the crowd were all so intently listening to her and Miku almost brought tears to Saki's eyes. It was no wonder, really, especially since Ichi had declared so strongly that she wanted to bring people together through her music (No Saki hadn't wanted to kiss her, hahahah why would you think that?) If she could keep writing songs with Ichi forever, she'd honestly be happy.
Shiho was somehow both the coolest and cutest.
As she declared that her reason for music was to get people fired up and tell them it was okay to stand their ground, Saki had the urge to both be cuddled by and cuddle Shiho. She settled for cheering her and bugging her for the story about how she got into bass alongside Ichi and Hona, she could hug her at other times anyway - that was one of the great things about being friends.
That word shouldn't hurt. Being friends is a good thing, right? And it's certainly better than their relationship right after she got out of hospital (Wasn't Ichi the one she had a not-crush on anyway?) Anyway, even if it hurt, she'd be happy playing music that made the whole live house cheer with Shiho for the rest of their lives so there was no problem, right?
Hona was . . . how does she even express this
Hona was the strongest person Saki knew (aside from maybe Tsukasa, but she's not talking about physical strength anyway). She made Saki feel so safe, like she had a firm foundation to stand on when she was there, like she'd forever support Saki and Saki would do the same for her. How could anyone else ever be their leader? The way she lead them forward during the live performance in front of the company president and made it so easy for them to play at their best, her helping Saki to make a satisfying arrangement of her song, it all made her feel so happy to be Hona's friend and keep playing together, cheering people up forever as bandmates.
Except she didn't want to be just that
And she didn't want to be just that for Ichi and Shiho too
Saki couldn't be more than that. Especially not for all of them.
She'd just spent an entire night clashing with Ichi because their feelings wouldn't mesh, and even though the song turned out amazing in the end, that was only because Ichi put aside her feelings for Saki's. If that was how it went when two of them put their feelings together, then what sort of clash would result from all four of them trying to put their feelings together in a relationship? She couldn't even know if they liked her back or if they liked each other (because she also liked the idea that they'd all like each other as well as her somehow, which was at least better than being jealous). She also couldn't know if they'd stop being friends because of it, they probably wouldn't, but if they did or things changed for the worse, then that would be worse than going back to the hospital, worse than the world ending.
So she wouldn't be more huggy than usual.
She wouldn't try to pursue her (nonexistent) feelings.
She'd certainly never tell them those nonexistent feelings.
She'd just move forward with them, playing together as friends and bandmates, hoping none of them would find a boyfriend.
Rui had this way of somehow taking Tsukasa's breath away every time.
Whether it was with his crazy stunts that literally winded him, or the romantic(?) subtext when they talked, Tsukasa was always left with no calm response and was no closer to figuring out why his heart beat so fast around Rui. Except this time, with Rui saying something as emotionally intimate as "Thank you for giving me the chance to change the way i have.", Tsukasa had a sinking feeling that he finally knew why his heart was beating so fast.
He'd held himself together well enough in the moment, giving a star-like response and making sure Rui knew he was also a reason for his change before hanging out normally for the rest of the night. But now he was back in his room in the inn . . . He couldn't stop thinking about it, couldn't stop his deafening heartbeats, couldn't stop his face so red he would have had to hide in his blankets if the lights were still on, couldn't stop the realisation that he always wanted to be the one to give Rui chances to change, be with him long enough as an important enough person to know his struggles and struggle alongside him. He wanted to see Rui every day, even if they weren't in the same school or were pursuing their separate dreams. He wanted to sit with Rui in the evenings, discussing tough directional decisions and how to play his characters before going to sleep in the same bed. Tsukasa couldn't stop the realisation that he was in love with Rui. It wasn't the kind of love you had for your friends and family or simply a crush that would go away if he distanced himself. Tsukasa wanted to kiss Rui hello and goodbye, wanted to cuddle with him on a couch they both owned both when something bad had happened and when they simply wanted to, wanted to be the one who knew Rui best and Rui to be the one who knew him best. He wanted them to show each other off to the world, shouting "Look how amazing my husband is!", wanted to have a grand wedding where all their friends and family would be there and none of them would think it weird, wanted to grow old with Rui and still have heart attacks from his stunts and looking at his horrible diet. Tsukasa wanted to die old and happy with Rui side by side and be buried in the same grave.
That last one scared him a little. His feelings scared him a little, but they had always been big, hadn't they.
But if his feelings scared him, then they could scare Rui, and that would be the worst thing he could do, how could he forgive himself if he drove Rui away?!
Tsukasa would normally have rushed off to tell Rui immediately, like he did with all his ideas and realisations, but this time, while the threat of being caught out twice in one night was scary, he was far more scared that Rui would distance himself from Tsukasa after hearing this.
So he wouldn't tell him, even though it hurt. Especially while they still wanted to move forward as a troupe.
"Haruka! I saved you a seat!"
"Hehe, you didn't need to Saki, the rooftop is empty anyway."
"I know, but it's fun to do it anyway!"
Airi and Shizuku had been called off to an interview, Minori, Shiho and Ichika were busy with their club duties, Honami and Emu were doing class rep duties and Kohane was doing a photography project, so it was just Saki and Haruka hanging out today.
"So how are your idol activities going?" Saki asked as Haruka sat down.
"Great, honestly, we found a producer and found a place for us to practice. Oh, and i became the manager!"
"WHHAAAAATTT?! Congratulations Haruka!"
"Yeah, i wasn't expecting a leadership role but if the others believe i'm best suited for the job then i'll do my best to support them as i lead them."
"That reminds me! Hona recently became our official leader!"
Really? That's good. She's always been good at leading people. How she got her class to win the Miya Girls Choir Recital last year still impresses me, with how split the class' opinions always were."
"I know, right! And she's always been the strongest one of us! She's so kind but also brave! Although Ichi has always had a more impulsive streak so she might be as brave. And Shiho has always charged on ahead so she might be the bravest too! Aaarrgghh, Haruka how do i decide?! Help me please!"
"Hehe, somehow whenever you talk about them you sound like me when i talk about Minori, don't you?" Haruka teased.
But for some reason, when she looked at Saki's face, she'd gone pale.
"Saki? Sorry, did something i say strike a nerve?"
". . . No, not quite." Saki said slowly, looking like she was holding a great secret back. Then, as if a dam broke "What if the reason i talk about them like that is because i feel the same way you do about Minori?"
"Then that's how you feel about them." Haruka smiled gently
"You don't see a problem with me feeling that way about three people?" Saki asked, surprised, she knew Haruka wouldn't see a problem with the absence of men among the people she not-liked, they had that in common after all, but not-liking multiple people was often considered another thing entirely.
"Of course not, it's not like you're the first person to have felt that way."
"How do you know? What if i am? I've always had things wrong with me, what if this is just another thing?"
"Saki. There is nothing wrong with you. This is not an abnormality, it's not something you have to, or can, get rid of, it doesn't change who you are and i'm sure none of them will feel any different about you if they find out. As for how i know you're not the only one, well, i've met a lot of people in the entertainment industry."
Saki seemed to calm down a little, then, "Was their relationship happy?"
"As far as i know, it still is."
Saki's eyes lit up a little, "How did they make it work?"
"The same as any other, with trust and communication. They definitely had to put in a lot of effort, but they're happy with what they have." Haruka smiled.
Saki let out a little giggle, "Thanks Haruka, this honestly seems a bit silly, now that we've talked about it." Saki hugged Haruka, "I don't think i'm gonna say anything to them - i don't think i can even admit to myself exactly what i feel for them, but now i don't feel like the world would end if they knew."
Haruka patted Saki on the back, "And that's what matters, you'd seemed a little down recently so i'm glad i could help."
"Oh!" Saki jumped up, "What if Tsukasa and Toya found out?! I mean, if this went anywhere, do you think they'd be grossed out?"
Haruka tried to hold back her laughter, but to no avail, as she almost immediately burst out laughing.
"What is it?" Saki asked, unimpressed.
"Sorry, sorry, it's just, i really don't think you have to worry about anything with those two. On top of Tsukasa loving you too much for that to be remotely possible and, from what i know from the small amount of time we've had together, Toya being pretty much unable to judge someone for something like that, i'm pretty sure they're as gay as me." the "and you" was left unsaid, but they both heard it.
". . . You might actually be right about that! Thanks Haruka!" Saki said as if a light had dawned on her. Then the bell rang and they had to go to class.
Toya had been getting more interested in the world of makeup after the photo shoot with Kohane and Haruka, so he was going shopping with the latter to find out how eye shadow worked (he still didn't understand how he was supposed to layer it) as it was always better to experiment with the store's test samples than your own products.
"You're early, the store doesn't open for another few minutes." Haruka walked up to him, shopping bags in hand.
"Tsukasa taught me to always be half an hour early, when possible."
"That sounds very like him." Haruka said as the doors opened, "Let's head inside?"
They decided to start with the basics, how the most important parts to shade are the outer eyelid and crease, but glitter often goes on the inner part, close to the nose.
Then they decided to try a bright red-orange eye shadow because Toya said he wanted to match Akito.
". . . Maybe we should, you know, save such vibrant colours for your events. When you're more dressed up."
"Agreed." Toya's expression was one of horror, as he discovered why it was a not-good idea to have your makeup clash with your you.
After realising what people meant when they said they had 'a colour', Toya decided he wanted to find his and Haruka was happy to oblige.
As they started experimenting with some cooler shades, Toya sighed.
"What's up?" asked Haruka.
"I wish i could've found something more orange that would look good on me."
"Well, just because that one shade was too vibrant, doesn't mean you can't find a nice contrast, you just might have to wear a bit more orange to match it."
"Thanks, you're good at this." Toya smiled.
"I try my best, do you mind if i ask why you want to match with him so bad?"
"Oh, um, it's nothing."
"Are you sure?"
". . . No."
"Do you like him?"
Toya said nothing but gave a little nod.
Haruka, sensing that she shouldn't press further, "Well then, after we've found your colour, would you like to see if we can find an orange that matches it?"
His eyes lighting up, "If you'll allow me!"
After settling on a muted blue on the top lid and a pale orange for the bottom lid (they'd realised well and truly that Toya was far more suited for mattes than glitters), they decided to find some clothes that matched the look better than his usual green jacket.
"So, um, Haruka?" Toya asked as they picked out a blue blazer with orange linings (his unit outfit one but replace the black, white, and blue on the collar with orange), "About what you said about me liking Akito . . . I think you're right."
"When did you realise? If you don't mind me asking, that is."
"Well, i accepted that i liked him just now, after you asked me if i liked him and i realised i couldn't call my feelings anything else. But i think the realisation dawned a few months ago, when did this amazing solo performance where his eyes just lit up and i realised i wanted to stare into those eyes forever, and since that wasn't possible i decided that the rest of our lives would be good enough instead."
"Pffft- and you didn't realise you liked him before you decided you would marry him?"
Toya had a bit of a stunned expression, "Now that you've put it into words, it does seem a bit obvious."
"Just a bit?"
Toya was not amused.
"Fine, i'll stop teasing. But from what you've said, it seems like you didn't want to like him. Do mind if i ask why that is? Because to be honest, i half thought you were already together."
"You did? Oh." Toya seemed a bit dejected at that. "I didn't want him to know because i'm pretty sure he likes me back."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"It would be, but some live houses wouldn't think the same, and we can't sabotage Vivid Bad Squad's career."
"We?"
"Me and Akito, why?"
"Oh. Oh, i don't think it's just you two but sure. I've got a few reasons why you shouldn't worry," Haruka said as she picked out a pair of ripped blue jeans. "First, a relationship between you and Akito is both of your responsibilities. You shouldn't decide something for both of you without asking Akito as well."
"That's . . . no, you're right. I probably should."
"Second, did you know that Me and Minori are in a relationship?"
Blink, "No, i didn't. You've hidden quite well, i see your streams sometimes and just think Minori's fangirling over you as usual."
"Exactly, even though we'd both much rather hug the other like a teddy bear, it's not like we're unable keep our hands off each other, and since people know we're affectionate with each other we can still be close."
"But, i'm not sure i'd be able to keep my hand out of Akito's, or keep my lips off his, long enough for an entire event." Toya paused for a moment, "Did i say the lips part out loud?"
"Yes. Yes you did." Haruka tried not to laugh, and somehow succeeded. "But why do you think we have more duo segments now? I'm sure you could find places to sneak in a peck."
"You might be right. Thanks!" Toya nodded happily as he picked out a black turtleneck with a smoky orange pattern (His unit outfit one, but with orange instead of white, yes it has a pattern, look closer)
Haruka leaned closer, "Now, the final thing. I know for a fact that An and Kohane like each other because they have both confided in me and Minori separately, and Airi and Shizuku are dating. The only reason we aren't doing what i'm about to suggest to you is because we are idols and the entertainment industry, you didn't hear this from me, is really fucking harsh and we could easily end up in a position where we are unable to spread hope." Haruka said in a hushed voice. "Something you could do, since all of you are equally as likely to get a live house to say you can't go there because you aren't straight, is be open with it and make a name for yourself despite that. More More Jump is planning on being more open with it after we have too large of a fanbase to be left unable to spread hope, but from what i've heard from An about the people in street music and know about your abilities, i'm sure you guys could succeed even if a few live houses blacklist you."
"But what about standing on top of the world? That's our goal now."
"The world has a lot of countries that are a lot more accepting of queerness than Japan is, i'm sure you could find a way."
". . . You're right. And i want this enough to find a way."
"That's good, are you going to tell him then?"
"Yes, but not yet. But only because he seems to be a slump right now and i don't think he'd want to start our relationship like that, once he gets through this, i definitely will."
As he walked home in the outfit he and Haruka had chosen, with a great eyeshadow palette in his bag, Toya felt really happy, and he'd decided that any penguin plushies he won from claw games would be given to Haruka.
He also felt like showing the new look to Akito so the Shinonomes ended up having another mouth to feed that night.
Tsukasa and Haruka were meeting up for a Saturday morning run, they'd been doing so most mornings (and would hang out afterwards on weekends) since Shinobi Battle with Akito but he'd come down with influenza so it was just them.
As they were nearing the 16th kilometre mark, Haruka said "It's a pity Akito can't come this morning, he's always annoyed when we have to cut the run short to go to school."
"I know! It's so much better to do a 25 km run than a 10 km one!"
"Definitely, and getting something sweet afterwards always makes things better."
Deciding to visit a pancake place they'd been to before (Haruka wanted something they could gloat to Akito about and Tsukasa didn't want to be too mean by going to a new place), Haruka decided to get the quintuple stack (she made Saturday her cheat day so her post-run breakfast could be as large and sweet as she wanted) and Tsukasa got the new doughnut-shaped pancake stack with toppings in the middle.
"You know," Haruka started, "Those pancakes kind of remind me of the inner tubes Rui made to simulate the water spider, while it was a pity the materials didn't arrive in time for Akito to use for training, it was fun to complete his obstacle and see what it was like."
"Yeah, but it really made you realise how hard it was, i remember Nene falling off immediately and and Emu sinking when she tried to move forward." Tsukasa hung his head, groaning at his friends' failures.
"Yeah, i had a feeling that if Minori tried, she'd end up needing a lifeguard."
"Speaking of Rui inventions! He's created yet another drone! This time it's strong enough to pick up an actual person and can be disguised so the audience can't see! And guess who was the test subject AGAIN!"
"You?"
"Yes! I almost fell! We should make someone else the test subject for a change! But wait, Emu and Nene don't have as durable bodies as i do, at least Nene doesn't, but what if they get hurt because of us?! As the troupe leader and insane director we can't let that happen!"
Haruka got the feeling this wasn't the first time he'd had this argument with himself, "Hehe."
"What is it?" Tsukasa asked, suspicious.
"Nothing, nothing, it's just, you must like him a lot, considering how much you trust him."
". . ." Tsukasa's fork dropped onto his plate.
". . ?"
"He doesn't know i like him. How do you know i like him?"
Fuck.
Haruka needed to stop asking Tenmas about their love lives.
"This might come as a shock, but, if Rui doesn't know you like him, which i sincerely doubt, then he is the only one who doesn't know."
Tsukasa sighed, "No, none of that is a shock, and if the amount of flirting he does and the trust we have in each other is anything to go by, then he likes me back."
"So why haven't you told him? If you don't mind me asking, that is."
"No, it's fine. It's because . . . i'm worried my feelings would scare him, make him nervous, that sort of thing."
"How so?"
"Well, i'm worried that my feelings are too much, too intense."
"I'm not sure you'll have to worry about that with Rui. From what you've told me about him and my own interactions with him, he's probably worrying about the same thing."
Tsukasa looked around to make sure no one was listening, then in a hushed voice, "When i realised i liked him, i also realised i wanted to marry him, die side by side after living a happy life, be buried in the same grave, no, same coffin, and if we're cremated instead, have our ashes stored in the same urn. And i'm not sure how well i would be able to hide it if we were in a relationship."
". . . Ah. That is intense."
"See what i mean?"
"But still, this is Rui we're talking about. Even if his feelings aren't quite as intense, i'm sure he wouldn't be scared of it. You two trust each other enough to share heavy stuff, right? That means you should trust him with this too."
". . . You're right. Yes, you're right! I should! HA HA HA HA!" Tsukasa laughed, then gasped as if realising something incredibly important. "But i must follow the proper order of things and tell my siblings first!"
"If you say so."
Somehow, over the course of their conversation, they'd managed to wolf down their enormous pancake stacks.
The Tenmas were meeting for their semi-regular siblings gathering, with Tsukasa cooking, Saki planning the games, and Toya bringing anything else they needed. It happened every time Mr and Mrs Tenma left the house for a night, whether it be for work or for a vacation, with it being a weekend getaway on this occasion. This time, Tsukasa had decided to make western-style beef pies, Saki had planned out Monopoly immediately followed by three player 20 questions (each person asks 10 questions each to the other two), and Toya had won a purple cat plushy that upon seeing, Tsukasa decided would not, in fact, be going to Saki like most of Toya's plushies did (It was purple and very Rui-like).
They ate dinner as usual, with many mentions of Rui, Shiho, Ichika, Honami and Akito. This time however, maybe it was because of her conversation with Haruka, but Saki noticed that the way Toya and Tsukasa talked about Akito and Rui respectively was awfully similar to how she talked about her bandmates.
Then Monopoly struck. Accusations were hurled, criminals were unmasked, people did not pass go, parking was free. In the end, Saki won, to the dramatic dismay of Tsukasa and vengeful silence of Toya. They were both determined to strike back. Fortunately, 20 questions was up next, and what could go wrong playing sleep deprived 20 questions at midnight with one player having guessed who the others liked and said other two wanting revenge for Monopoly?
As winner, Saki was first to ask a question, "Tsukasa! Do you like anyone?"
If you asked Tsukasa afterwards, he would say that his dramatic gasp was second to none, and despite it being voiceless, resonated around the room.
If you asked Toya, he would say that it perhaps wasn't voiceless, per se. Or a gasp. But still very dramatic, of course.
If you asked Saki, she would say that she was glad they'd installed advanced soundproofing, or else the neighbours would've called the police because the volume of his scream was enough to wake a hibernating bear.
After they'd all recovered from Tsukasa's . . . very dramatic gasp, Saki pressed him further, "So? Screaming won't get you out of answering the question! Although i'm pretty sure i can guess what your answer is from that reaction . . ."
"Then you don't need me to answer, right!"
Toya frowned, "That's not how the game works, Tsukasa."
"Toya! How could you betray me like this?!"
"I haven't, we're still getting revenge on Saki, but we need to play the game properly."
Hehe, Saki's in danger.
"Fine," Tsukasa grumbled, "Yes i like someone, Toya's next."
"Who is it, dear brother? Have you been getting special directions from our purple-haired friend?" Saki teased.
"Toya's turn!" Tsukasa yelled, face as red as the AO3 logo.
"Saki, do you like someone?"
". . . Um," Saki stalled, then gasped dramatically (an actual dramatic gasp this time) in realisation. "No! I don't!"
She wasn't lying, after all, she didn't like just one someone.
Toya squinted his eyes, he could've sworn there was something going on between her and at least one person in her band.
Tsukasa facepalmed (loudly), "Toya! You phrased it wrong! What if she doesn't like just one someone?!"
Toya's face lightbulb momented, "Oh."
Hehe, Saki's in big danger.
Saki decided that the best way out of this was to embarrass them so much they forgot all about this.
Unfortunately for Tsukasa, he couldn't ask Saki a question this turn, he'd have to settle for dragging Toya down to their embarrassment level instead. "Toya! Are you and Akito dating!"
"No."
"Dammit!"
"Tsukasa, you jumped the gun, you have to ask him if he likes Akito first!"
"Great idea, Saki! Toya, do yo-"
"Wait your turn Tsukasa! Toya, do you like Akito!"
". . ."
"You have to play the game properly!" Tsukasa yelled, immediately avenging how Toya made him respond to Saki's question.
"Fine, yes."
"And are you planning on asking him out?!" Tsukasa questioned.
Toya nodded sincerely, "Once he gets out the slump he's in, yes."
"If he breaks your heart he'll never eat pancakes again!" Tsukasa declared.
"Yeah!" Saki cheered.
Toya released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, "You don't see a problem with me liking him?"
"No, why would we?" Saki laughed.
"Yeah! We're the sa-" Tsukasa realised what he was saying a little too late. "Anyway it's your turn Toya."
"Tsukasa, do you like Rui?"
"Dam you Saki, you put the idea in his head!" Tsukasa the saw the unimpressed looks on their faces and knew any further diversion attempts would be about as successful as this one was. Sighing, "Fine, yes, but the reason i haven't confessed is because i wanted to tell you guys first!"
"Then why did you avoid our questions, Tsukasa?" Saki and Toya said in unison.
Tsukasa looked like someone had slapped him with a fish.
"W-w-well, annnnnyyyyyyway!" Tsukasa blustered, "Saki! do you like Ichika, Shiho and Honami?!"
Plan failed. Fuck.
"Yes." Saki said, unable to deny it any longer, half braced for disgust. "Do you think it's weird? Me liking three people?"
"No, why would it be? If that's weird, then so is me liking Akito." Toya said plainly.
"Agreed! And if anyone says otherwise then we'll make sure they won't for long!" Tsukasa beamed, hugging Saki.
"Thank you!" Saki managed through her happy tears.
Toya joined in on the hug, happy that his siblings had understood him, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.
Tsukasa started crying loudly, in that way he always did when he was proud of his siblings, "I'm so proud of you for being brave enough to share this with me!"
Saki giggled a little, "Hehe, we should be telling you that, Tsukasa."
"But i'm your older brother! Not younger! Being proud is my job!"
"No." Toya said, "We can all be proud of each other."
They kept hugging, having completely forgotten about the game of 20 questions, happy that they were able to share this with each other.
Toya's head shot up, "Wait, does that mean we're all gay?"
"I mean, have any of us liked anyone else?" Saki wondered.
Toya and Tsukasa shook their heads.
"So we can't know if we like people of the opposite gender either!"
"And aren't there more than gay, bi and straight?" Toya asked.
"And i'm sure there's one for liking multiple people like Saki does!" Tsukasa exclaimed.
"You're right! But then how do we find out what to call ourselves?!" Saki groaned.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Tsukasa's face lit up, "Aren't there those Am I Gay?™ tests online?"
"You're right! Let's look one up!" Saki stood up as Toya nodded.
After they'd gotten the wikiHow one up (it was the first result), they decided to take the test simultaneously on their phones.
"Alright, is everyone ready?" Tsukasa asked.
Saki and Toya nodded.
First Question: Have you ever had feelings for a same-gender close friend?
They all chose A: I think so. That's why i'm taking this quiz.
Second Question: Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same gender?
They all chose B: I haven't done it, but i want to try it.
Third Question: How do you feel about queer characters in TV shows and movies?
Saki and Toya chose A: Oh, i've totally watched shows just for the queer ships and storylines. (Saki introduced Toya to Sasaki and Miyano)
Tsukasa chose B: I kind of feel like i can identify with queer characters.
Fourth Question: When someone asks you who you're crushing on:
They all chose A: A name comes to mind immediately, and it's someone of the same gender.
Fifth Question: Has anyone ever asked if you were gay?
Saki chose B: I've been asked that once or twice.
Toya chose C: No one has asked directly if i'm gay, but i wouldn't be surprised if they did ask.
Tsukasa chose A: People pretty much assume that about me all the time.
Sixth Question: When you imagine being in a relationship, what do you picture?
Considering that they all couldn't even (and didn't want to) imagine a future where they were with anyone but their respective love interests, they all chose A: I can only see myself with someone of the same sex.
Seventh Question: How would you feel about identifying as gay?
They all chose B: It honestly makes me a little nervous, but also kinda fits, because there wasn't really an option for "I literally can't see myself ever liking anyone else." (Although Saki also just felt a little nervous about identifying as queer)
Eighth Question: Have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same gender?
Saki chose B: Yeah, but everyone has, right?
Toya chose A: Yes.
Tsukasa chose C: People of the same gender are just objectively more attractive.
Ninth Question: How Do You Feel About Dating Someone Of The Opposite Gender?
They all chose A: I'm not interested. That would feel like a chore.
Tenth Question: Do you ever fantasise about being with someone of the same gender?
Saki and Tsukasa chose A: Yeah. Pretty often.
Toya chose B: Sometimes.
Eleventh Question: When you imagine kissing or being intimate with a future partner, how do you feel?
They all chose A: As long as i'm with someone i really like, that sounds great.
Twelfth Question: If you scroll through your feed or FYP, do you see content from queer creators?
Saki follows MMJ and listens to Chappell Roan. Toya follows MMJ and is listening to music from all over the world and all spheres of music. Tsukasa follows MMJ and is a theatre kid. They all choose A: Yup. You got me.
Thirteenth Question: Flash forward 5 years: how likely is it that your partner is the same gender as you?
Saki chose B: Pretty likely.
Toya and Tsukasa chose A: Very likely.
Fourteenth Question: Would you be comfortable using an LGBTQ+ dating app?
They all chose D: No. That makes me uncomfortable. - That would feel like cheating.
Fifteenth Question: Are there a lot of LGBTQ+ individuals in you friend group?
They all chose A: Absolutely! Lots of my friends are queer.
Finally, the Sixteenth Question: What inspired you to take this quiz?
Saki chose B: I identify with aspects of the queer experience but am not totally sure where i stand.
Toya chose C: I'm just curious about the result i'll get.
Tsukasa chose A: I think i might be gay, but i wanted some extra validation.
Result:
They all might be gay!
. . .
. . .
"This is bullshit." they all said.
"What do you mean 'might be'?!" Tsukasa exclaimed incredulously, "I put down that people of the same gender are objectively more attractive!"
Toya started retaking the test, putting in all of the gayest answers, "So apparently, the gayest you can get is might be."
Saki raised both eyebrows because she couldn't raise just one, "Are they legally not allowed to call internet strangers gay?"
"Maybe they're socially not allowed to." Toya theorised.
"That's stupid!" grumbled Saki.
"Whatever, we don't need an internet test to label us!" Tsukasa declared, but his faced was still screwed up in grumpy.
Saki nodded, "Yeah! And it might be hard for me to find one for liking multiple people, so . . ."
"And we can still try and research it and come to our own conclusions." Toya agreed.
After much research, it was now 3am and they felt like they'd drunk the 3am gay potion except it was just a poorly mixed brew of melted butter and orange juice.
Needless to say their brains were fried.
"I keep forgetting which is polysexual and which is omnisexual, and are either of them polyamoury?!" Saki said for the second time in fifteen minutes.
Toya was done. "I'm not going to bother figuring out whether i'm demisexual or demiromantic."
Tsukasa was curled up rocking himself to sanity in a corner. He had stumbled upon the MAPs.
In the end, they decided that they'd just say they were gay and just explain the specifics of how they felt if asked to elaborate instead of using labels to explain it. It seemed easier that way.