Chapter Text
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault
Someone told me
There's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to laboured breath
Taking all of me
We've already done it in my head
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
- Guilty as Sin? by Taylor Swift
1595.
The soft breeze on his forehead felt like a gentle caress of cool fingers.
Eyes closed, Will rested his head against the sun-warmed wood, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation. It was easy to imagine that it wasn’t the wind softly tousling his hair, but a gentle, calming hand, small splashes of water turning into the cold feeling of rings against his skin. There was the faintest hint of ginger lingering in the air, of musk, the wind carrying a voice with it, no more than a whisper.
Missed me, Will..?
The painful tug in his chest was too familiar, just like the empty feeling aching where he should feel his heart beating beneath his ribs.
“Land ho!”
The shout of a sailor abruptly brought Will back to the here and now, made him open his eyes, sitting up with a start. It took a moment for his sight to clear enough that he could make out anything, with the bright sunlight being reflected by the water, but then he saw it too. A streak of land on the horizon.
Will felt his heart skipping a beat, his feet carrying him over to the opposite railing almost on their own.
Livorno. Italy.
After weeks at sea, the prospect of any kind of solid ground underneath his feet was tantalizing enough, but the destination of his journey finally being within his grasp sent a sudden wave of tingling excitement through his body.
Gradually, the silhouettes in the distance started to take on shape, the mixture of green and light brown slowly turning into trees and sand-coloured houses with auburn roofs.
“Ahh, Italy.” The voice of the captain sounded next to him. “One of the most beautiful places on earth, if you ask me. Always worth a visit.”
Will only shot him a short smile, before turning his gaze towards the shore again.
“So I hear.”
I'll go away, take myself out of it. I’m thinking Italy.
*
The sun had already reached its peak, when they harboured.
Laden with his valise, Will made his way down the wooden gangway. As soon as he set foot on the ground, he was engulfed in the hustle and bustle of the harbour, merchants praising their goods, customers strolling by the countless market stalls, a few children playing catch in the crowd and numerous seagulls fluttering about, seemingly hoping for some food.
It was overwhelming, the sheer amount of people after the past relatively quiet weeks at sea, but still it brought a soft smile to Will’s lips.
Slowly, he pushed his way through the bustling crowd, only once stopping at a stall to buy a few fresh figs. The farer away from the harbour he got, the quieter it became, the streets becoming less and less crowded.
The gentleman, he asked where one might find a carriage, thankfully understood his broken Italian and pointed him towards a building down the road, in front of which three carriages waited for potential customers. A short while later, Will found himself in one of the coaches, softly rocking to and fro, as the city slowly got smaller behind them. The rhythmic clopping of the horse’s hoofs was familiar, and Will found the sound oddly calming, like a small piece of home in a foreign part of the world.
Taking a bite of one of the figs he’d purchased at the market, he let his gaze wander out of the small window to his right, over the landscape slowly passing by.
The journey would take about seven hours. He’d probably do well to sleep a bit, having had trouble getting rest on the ship, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to. The anticipation softly buzzing in his body felt like a small swarm of insects, making him feel restless, even though the sensation was mixed with a duller feeling underneath it all. Tugging and the slightest bit empty.
*
Will was woken by the rays of the setting sun falling through the window of the carriage and shining in his face. Blinking, he shielded his eyes from the light, trying to make out the world outside.
What he saw, made his heart inevitably skip a beat. In the distance, the silhouette of a city had emerged, countless buildings, and a majestic dome towering above it all.
Florence.
He had made it.
The city seemed to glow in the light of the setting sun, bathing its architecture in golden light. Will couldn’t tear his eyes away from the buildings passing by as the carriage slowly made its way through the streets, each more breathtaking and beautiful than the last.
I wish, you could’ve seen this, Kit.
The carriage driver stopped at a bustling square, another market, as it seemed. People were passing by, heading home after a long day of work, making some last purchases for dinner.
Giving the man a short nod, Will got off the coach, his boots hitting the cobbled ground with a small thud. He let his eyes wander over the busy marketplace for a moment, taking it all in. The people, the stalls, the surrounding buildings. Somewhere, a few musicians played a cheerful tune.
In the golden evening light, it looked fairly peaceful.
It was already quite late, so he should probably look for a place to stay, but he couldn’t ignore that feeling that seemed to pull him further into the city, that urged him to explore, at least a little bit, before finding lodgings for the night.
His feet carried him across the busy square and into the less crowded alleys beyond, following one of the seemingly never ending, narrow streets winding through the city.
It was hard to keep one’s eyes on the road, with the magnificent buildings towering on both sides of it, still partly illuminated by the setting sun. You could easily get lost in it, Will found. In the beautiful facades, some partly covered in ivy, roofs, glowing red in the amber sunlight, the occasional tower of a cathedral.
It was beautiful, and Will allowed himself to be carried away for little while.
When he reached the outskirts of the city, it was already completely dark. Here, the streets were mostly deserted at this time of night, and while it felt quite peaceful, it also reminded Will that he should probably hurry if he wanted to sleep in a bed tonight.
He already started to worry if he’d find his way back in dark, but in this moment, the clouds that had gathered shortly before, parted, revealing a full moon, pouring its silver light onto the cobbled streets. He was lucky, as it seemed.
Turning back, he made his way down the narrow street, heading for the livelier parts of the city, when suddenly, he heard a sound, coming from a dark alley, diverting from the one he was walking down.
Stopping in his tracks, he listened, already thinking, he’d just imagined it, when it sounded again. A knock, quiet, but rhythmic, sounding like someone was tapping his knuckles against something wooden.
For a moment, Will just stood there. Silence. Then another knock.
He should just carry on. Whatever this was, probably only an animal, was none of his concern. But at the same time, he felt curiosity tugging inside his chest. He was well aware, that it could technically also be a trap. A morbid trick of some reavers, trying to raid him and steal his money. But then again, there was no soul to be seen, so why bother trying to lure him into an alley?
No, this was probably something else. Maybe a cat had gotten stuck somewhere, or a stray dog.
Still none of your concern.
The knock sounded again.
He’d probably regret this.
Slowly, a hand wrapped tightly around the hilt of his dagger, Will set foot in the alley. It was darker here than on the main street, and his eyes needed a few seconds to get used to the dim light. Blinking, he tried to make out his surroundings, figure out where the sound could’ve come from. There were empty barrels and crates stacked on top of each other on both sides of the narrow alley, leaning against the brick walls, but apart from that, it was deserted.
After a few more feet, he reached a dead end. Stopping, he listened once more, but the knock didn’t sound again.
A soft huff left his lips, a smile tugging on them, as Will slightly shook his head. What had he been thinking? He should just go to bed. Or, that was, finally find a bed for the night.
He was just about to turn around, to make his way back to the main street, when suddenly, a voice sounded behind him, quiet, but still unmistakable in the surrounding silence.
“Will.”
The blood in his veins froze to ice.
It was impossible.
And still, he'd recognise this voice anywhere.
“I’m going insane.”
It was the only possible explanation.
There was the sound of a footstep behind him, softly echoing from the stony ground.
Will spun around.
And there he stood. No more than three steps away from him, bathed in the silver light of the moon.
“No.. That’s not possible.” His voice was barely more than a whisper, almost inaudible over the thunderous sound of his heartbeat echoing in his ears.
He was wearing a linen tunic, fixed with a belt, plain trousers and shoes, the fabric of a hood a small heap in his neck, revealing his face. He looked so different, than the last time Will had seen him, and still it was unmistakably him.
Kit.
Except, Kit was dead, so..
“..You’re a ghost.” It fell from his lips in a breathless whisper, instinctively taking a small step back. “Wh-why now?! What do you want?!”
The phantom huffed out a laugh.
“A ghost? Come on, Will, I didn’t take you for a superstitious man.”
It made a step towards Will, who pulled out his dagger, pointing it at the spirit.
“Stay back!”
“Whoa! Easy..” The phantom held it’s hands up in a defensive gesture. “Do you truly believe, I’d have waited this long to haunt you, if I really were a ghost?”
There was an amused glint in its eyes, painfully familiar and looking so eerily real.
“All those missed opportunities. Watching you in your sleep, acting, writing.. Hm.. maybe taking a bath..?”
There was a suggestive smile on the phantom’s lips, now taking another step towards him.
“I said stay back!” Again, Will waved his dagger, and this time, the tip of the blade grazed one of the spirit’s still held up hands.
“Ow! Heavens, Will!" It flinched. "There, do ghosts bleed?!”
Unable to move, Will stared at the outstretched palm in front of him. At the blood, dripping from a shallow cut to the ground, softly glistening in the light of the moon.
Blood. A cut. Through flesh. Could-
Another step towards him, making Will instinctively flinch back, raising the dagger again, but with less determination than before.
“Will, Will!”
A hand grabbed his wrist, holding him in place, touching him. The sudden warmth against his skin made Will gasp, staring wide-eyed at the man in front of him.
“It's me.”
He.. was solid. Warm. He was.. alive.
Kit was alive.