Work Text:
“What’s wrong with Kevin?"
“What isn't wrong with Kevin?"
Kevin could faintly hear the sound of voices coming from somewhere in the room, his own name slipping out every so often, but his head was spinning too much to tell who they were coming from. Behind him was the soft backing of the couch, beside him on his right was the empty cushions where Dan and Matt had been sitting before their kissing began approaching pornographic so they left for their own apartment. On his left was a side table covered in medical text books and empty Starbucks cups, and in front of him— Ah yes. Kevin reached forward to grab the nearly empty bottle of vodka, missing twice before grabbing it with both hands, pulling it tight to his chest as though it would disappear if he sat it down. He brought it to his mouth, taking a gulp like it was water. A hand gently brushed his arm and he looked up to see sharp hazel eyes looking back.
“Hi baby,” he whispered, hoping no one was around to hear him, pleased when he saw Aaron’s eyes soften. Kevin figured by the medical textbooks that he was at Aaron's and the soft blonde hair and hazel eyes staring back at him confirmed this.
“Come on Kevi, let’s get you home.” Kevin frowned, at both the nickname, which was not something Aaron had ever used with him, and the suggestion of leaving. Kevin and Aaron usually ended parties the same way. One of them pretending to help the other clean up, then insisting it was too late to make the three hour drive home, then pretending he could sleep on the other one's couch before inevitably falling into bed with each other. After a year of this, it was expected. But Kevin nodded, assuming Aaron knew better, and walked outside to where Andrew’s Mazarati waited, finishing the bottle of vodka and tossing it into Aaron's trash cans.
“Andrew will be pissed if you use the car to take me home,” Kevin said, and Aaron froze for a moment before shaking his head slightly.
“It’s fine, you’re too drunk to drive home, and there is no way I'm letting you take a ride share for three hours.”
Kevin was currently playing exy for a college one state over, and had only come down for the weekend as a favor to Aaron, for this party. Kevin knew he wasn't as drunk as Aaron thought he was, having split the bottle of vodka with Dan and Matt at some point during the night, but the idea of taking an Uber back made his stomach turn. Kevin got into the passenger seat, immediately reaching back to grab his sweatshirt from where he left it in the backseat.
“Here, put this on, you’re shaking,” Kevin told Aaron, whose hands were indeed shaking slightly. Aaron shot a sharp, glare at him before saying he was fine in a tone that left no room for arguing. Kevin whispered a soft, “Okay, sorry,” and Aaron sighed before taking the sweatshirt and slipping it over his long sleeved black shirt. It was an old Foxes sweatshirt, with Kevin's last name on the back and a two underneath, one of the few black sweatshirts you could get for Palmetto State merch. Kevin was just thinking about how good Aaron looked in his sweatshirt when Aaron's phone started ringing. He quickly answered it, no hesitation, and Kevin leaned back into the seat for the ride. He could hear Aaron's soft voice speaking to someone through the phone, turning from gentle to harsh in seconds.
“Yeah I have him, I’m taking him home….. Because you thought it was a good idea to do this a week after— No it's selfish of you. You knew what this would do to him. And she’s going to figure it out, you know, it's not like it's a choice. You can claim it was a phase but you guys were doing this for a year and now I have to— If you don't stop interrupting me brother, I swear to god I will turn right around and drop him back off…”
Kevin felt his eyes drift shut, and fell asleep wondering who Andrew had hurt bad enough to have Aaron this upset.
When Aaron and Kevin arrived at Kevin's apartment just over three hours later, it took Aaron far more effort than usual to get Kevin up the front steps and into the elevator, and he was not amused by Kevin's attempts to pin him to the inside of the elevator, his hands reaching for Kevin's wrists and pushing him away.
“Kevin, knock it off. You smell like nail polish remover and I don't want you touching me right now.”
Kevin pouted but stepped back, well aware of what Andrew would do to him if he found that he wasn't respecting Aaron's boundaries. Consent was everything to Andrew and he knew Aaron felt the same way. Kevin followed Aaron to his own apartment, handing his keys over so Aaron could unlock the door. When inside, Kevin immediately went to the bathroom, brushing his teeth quickly at the sink and running a wet cloth over his face, hoping to rid his skin of some of the scent of vodka that was clearly leaking from every pore. He could feel himself reaching the hungover side of sober, and knew he would probably regret finishing the bottle of vodka in Aaron's front yard before leaving. When he walked back into the living room he saw Aaron in the kitchen, finishing tearing apart an orange, adding it to a bowl with other fruit for Kevin.
“Eat.”
Kevin frowned, not wanting to do the math for the caloric intake of each of the items, before he saw a sheet of paper next to his bowl, with each fruit listed.
“You can worry about it tomorrow, I kept track for you. Just put something in your stomach, Kevin.”
Aaron looked different, he noticed. His eyes were the same, and his voice was the same, but the softness that was usually there was gone. Kevin’s heart raced with hope when he thought of another option, something he hadn't let himself consider yet. Maybe this wasn't Aaron.
Kevin had met Andrew first, wanted Andrew first, but he never even had a hint that he could have liked him, let alone wanted him. He had thought Aaron's eyes looked more like Andrew's tonight, but maybe that was just the alcohol talking. Kevin looked at the man standing by the kitchen sink and was sure he was missing something, he just couldn't remember what. Until it hit him…
“Your glasses,” Kevin asked, frowning. “Where are your glasses?”
Aaron froze again, and his eyes darted to Kevin's face, flicking over his eyes, his nose, and his lips, before settling back on Kevin’s eyes. “I don't wear glasses,” The other man answered, which made Kevin’s heart skip. He knew Aaron wore glasses when he wasn't on the court, Kevin had personally placed them in Aaron’s case on more than one occasion. But if he said he didn't wear glasses, Kevin knew it couldn't be Aaron, which meant….
“Andrew?”
Andrew turned to face away from Kevin, quickly grabbing a water bottle and some Advil for him before locking eyes again.
“Yeah, you never asked but I didn't think you'd want to be there much longer and didn't feel like explaining in front of everyone. You sort of just grabbed a full bottle of vodka and hid in the corner when the cheerleader showed up so…”
Andrew kept talking but Kevin didn't hear anything, because he finally remembered what had happened. The break up three weeks ago, Aaron telling Kevin he wasn’t interested anymore, that Katelyn was going to take him back. That they could be friends. That they’d have to be. Telling Kevin not to tell anyone about what had gone on between them. Reminding him of his own words. ‘It'll be easier if he’s heterosexual.’ And then tonight, seeing that Katelyn had already moved her belongings into Aaron's apartment.
Kevin felt himself immediately sobering up at the thought that he might have made a fool of himself. Andrew walked over to him, his hazel eyes a sharp reminder of the pain he was experiencing, the pleasure he’d never feel again, and the fantasy he never got to experience. Andrew, for everything he lacked emotionally, was loyal. Loyal to Aaron. Loyal to Kevin. Stuck in the middle of what could end up being a mistake that would destroy both of them. Aaron was gone, and Kevin would never have him again. Andrew was right here, but would never want Kevin. Andrew had never wanted Kevin. He ran his fingers through his own hair, tugging sharply to try to pull the thoughts from his head, before Andrew reached forward and pulled his hands free.
“Do not hurt yourself over someone who couldn't see what he had. Aaron might be mine to protect, but you are too. And the only person who can hurt either of you, is me.” Andrew said the words like they were a fact, and to him, they likely were.
Kevin's eyes subconsciously dropped to Andrew's lips, then the hollow of his neck, his mind imagining the path he would take with his mouth, marking Andew in a way Aaron never had let him. Andrew seemed to be able to read his mind, and raised an eyebrow, his lip quirking up on one side. Kevin had a light blush cross his cheeks, and Andrew stepped closer, Kevin's heart racing, as Andrew looked up at Kevin's face.
“Do you want to feel better, Kevin Day? Do you want me to help you feel better?”
Kevin felt his cheeks flush and his cock harden in his jeans, and he nodded.
Andrew reached up on his toes, pulling Kevin down to his own height. “Yes or no Kevin, use your words.”
“Yes Andrew, yes.”
Andrew closed the distance between them, kissing Kevin rough enough to make their teeth clack, softening when Kevin moaned into Andrew's mouth. Kevin felt his head spin, not from alcohol this time, but from just how right it felt to have Andrew's lips on his, Andrew's hands on his waist. Andrew pulled back an inch and Kevin pressed forward, following Andrew’s mouth until Andrew moved to kneel.
“No,” Kevin said, and Andrew froze immediately.
“No?” Andrew asked.
Kevin shook his head and immediately fell to his knees for Andrew. “Let me get you off, God, let me get you off.”
Andrew stood there with a look of pure shock on his face, staring at Kevin's eyes for long enough that he almost took his silence for refusal, but when he moved to stand again Andrew placed his hand on Kevin’s shoulder, causing him to pause.
“Kevin, you know I'm… I’m not like Aaron right? I haven't ever had anyone do that to me, anything to me. I don't let people touch me. I haven't ever let anyone touch me. The only time I've ever been touched was against my will. You need to know that.”
Kevin nodded and leaned back, but Andrew moved his hand from Kevin’s shoulder to the back of his head, threading his fingers through his hair.
“Let me go shower. Give me fifteen minutes. Eat your fruit. I’ll be back, okay?”
Kevin’s mind took a moment to understand, not sure what he was implying. Andrew let out a groan. “You stupid boy.”
Kevin felt his head being tilted upwards by Andrew moments before his lips brushed softly onto Kevin’s own, just once, just enough for the pressure to drive him mad. “I’m saying yes, Kevin. I just wasn’t expecting this so give me a minute.” Andrew was already in the bathroom before Kevin could respond and he felt his body collapse forward onto himself in relief.
Andrew could not believe he was doing this. He had seen Kevin’s eyes tracking down his own body and, despite all his previous hesitation at making a move, the certainty that Kevin was interested was undeniably enticing. Andrew had learned to smother that feeling of want, and he’d believed it had turned into a purely platonic partnership, a friendship if you asked anyone else, and he trusted Kevin in a way he hadn’t thought would be possible for him again.
Kevin wanted Andrew, and trusted Andrew to keep him safe. That feeling was new for Andrew, and when Kevin made it clear that he was interested in returning it, even if just as a replacement for the brother he really wanted, Andrew felt that need reignite instantly, a warmth pooling in his gut as his cock pressed uncomfortably against his jeans.
Andrew had expected to stick with what he’d grown used to, grown comfortable with. The act of providing another person's pleasure, to be in control of that, made Andrew feel safe. He didn't allow anyone any more than that, because in most instances that meant allowing them to take some of that control back. But Kevin, eagerly asking to take care of Andrew, was something he never thought he would see, and Andrew knew Kevin would never harm him. Which was why Andrew found himself standing outside of Kevin’s shower with the water filling the room with steam, looking up how to prep himself for sex, for the first time in his life.
After what was likely only ten minutes but felt like an hour, Andrew had cleaned himself thoroughly, panicked when he caught himself moaning as his fingers slid inside of himself a little farther than was strictly necessary, and begged any God listening that Kevin didn’t hear him. His cock was achingly hard when he wrapped a towel around his waist, not bothering to put his jeans back on. He stepped into the hallway and heard soft muttering coming from Kevin’s bedroom and when he got to the doorway he had to stifle a laugh at the site before him. Kevin was standing at the foot of the bed facing away from Andrew, holding a pillow in his hand, shirt half off and jeans folded on a chair, leaving Kevin in just his boxers. He appeared to be giving himself a pep talk, and Andrew leaned against the doorframe and watched.
“— If he hadn’t wanted to he would’ve said no. It doesn’t matter why he said yes, just accept this as a fucking gift, Day, and don’t fuck it up.”
Kevin finished his pep talk and set the pillow on the floor in front of the bed, and Andrew coughed quietly to let Kevin know he was there. Clearly Aaron had made Kevin insecure in some way, and while most of the time the thought of his brother being able to make someone as powerful as Kevin Day weak would make him proud, instead all Andrew wanted to do was let Kevin feel powerful again. Kevin pulled his shirt the rest of the way off, eyes trailing down Andrews chest to the little strip of pale blonde hair that ran beneath his towel.
"Are you still drunk, Kevin?" Andrew asked, knowing if he didn't he'd never forgive himself for doing this when Kevin couldn't even consent.
Kevin shook his head. "I was never drunk."
Andrew scoffed at that. "Liar."
Kevin hesitated from a minute, and Andrew thought maybe he was going to admit he was still drunk, but instead Kevin proceeded to do a line test as though Andrew was a cop, and had begun saying the alphabet backwards before Andrew stopped him. "I promise I'm not drunk anymore. I don't think I have been since the car. And I wouldn't lie about that, not with you." Andrew looked at Kevin's face and saw no sign of lying on it. He nodded and stepped forward, body almost flush with Kevin's, but not quite.
“You’re sure about this too, right? You want this?” Kevin asked Andrew, his hand floating above the waist of Andrew’s towel, waiting for permission to remove it. Andrew nodded, and Kevin smirked. “Use your words, Drew. Yes or no?”
Andrew rolled his eyes before stepping forward and pulling Kevin’s lips down to meet his, dropping the towel as he went. Kevin’s hands immediately landed on Andrew’s back and he felt himself tense at the contact before looking up into Kevin’s eyes, the steady green a reminder that he was okay. Kevin was safe. Kevin wanted to make him feel good. And Andrew was going to let him.
Kevin had dreamed of feeling Andrew’s skin under his and, while Aaron was identical to Andrew, it wasn't the same. Aaron's skin was delicate, with soft shallow scars in the very few places he had them. His arms were hairless, something about it being easier for the med program, less time needed to scrub into surgery, with a few small scars from his years of abusing drugs, almost unnoticeable by now. Andrew, on the other hand, had scars on his back, his arms, his thighs, all deep from over a decade of abuse at the hands of both himself and others, but the dark blonde hair covering them was exactly as soft as Kevin thought it would be.
Kevin slid his hands down to Andrew’s waist as he kissed a path down his chest, flicking his tongue lightly over one of Andrew’s nipples, eliciting a hiss and a stifled moan as he continued his path down. Kevin’s lips brushed the hair leading down to where Andrew’s cock bobbed just out of reach of Kevin's mouth, and Andrew seemed to already be giving control to Kevin, not even asking him to touch, but not pulling back when Kevin allowed himself to finally sink to his knees on the pillow he’d placed at the end of the bed, and let his tongue slip forward and lick the small drop of precum from the tip of his cock.
“Fuck Kevin, that feels incredible.” Andrew slid his fingers into Kevin’s hair, not tugging but holding his head in place as he lightly thrust his hips forward, not enough to force entrance into Kevin’s mouth, but enough to rub his cock on Kevin's face, leaving a small spot of wetness on his cheek before Kevin pulled back and looked up at Andrew, who was staring at Kevin like he was doing something holy to him.
“Do you trust me, Drew?” Kevin knew what he wanted, he knew this was something Andrew had never done before, and Kevin wanted to be at least one of his firsts, to give Andrew this. He wished he could’ve had all of Andrew’s firsts, but this one could belong to him, to them. This time Andrew said yes, and Kevin turned him around, pressing lightly on the small of his back until Andrew was leaning over the bed, his elbows propping him up. Kevin mouthed softly at the skin of Andrew’s thighs, the hair tickling his lips while the light pressure of his tongue caused Andrew to erupt into goosebumps. When his mouth reached Andrew's ass he squeezed each side gently and used his thumbs to pull him apart far enough for Kevin to slip his tongue gently over Andrew’s rim, the other boy jerking slightly at the new sensation but not pulling away. Kevin ran his tongue over one more time before gently pushing it in, not too fast, not too hard, just enough for Andrew to know what he was going to do, before pulling back.
“Still a yes, Drew?” Kevin waited for a moment before he heard Andrew whisper in a shy voice Kevin had never heard before, “Yeah, Kevin. Still a yes.” Kevin smiled and leaned back in, his tongue continuing its ministrations over Andrews hole until Kevin heard Andrew let out a soft moan and Kevin felt the tension leave Andrews spine, his entrance opening more for Kevin. On the floor next to the pillow was a bottle of lube that Kevin had placed there while Andrew was in the shower and, without removing his face from Andrew, Kevin coated his fingers and moved one to join his tongue. Andrew rocked back onto Kevins finger the moment it slipped inside past his knuckle, affectively fucking himself on Kevin's tongue and finger, begging for more.
Kevin could feel his own cock leaking in his boxers so he added a second finger to Andrew and used his other, lube slick hand to stroke his cock once, twice before he came on the pillow under him. Kevin pulled back off of Andrew, using just his fingers to fuck him, adding a third to replace what Andrew was missing without Kevin’s tongue.
“You’re doing so good Andrew, are you still feeling good?” Kevin kept up his thrusting, feeling the tips of his fingers brushing against Andrew's prostate and Kevin heard a sob from Andrew, almost stopping Kevin in his movements before he heard Andrew's desperate voice.
“Yes, fuck. Oh God I’m going to cum, Kevin. I’m so close.”
Kevin reached around Andrew and wrapped his fingers around his cock, his other hand still fucking his fingers into Andrew at an exhausting pace, and Kevin felt Andrew tightening around them.
“Let go Drew, let go for me.”
Andrew sobbed once more before he came on Kevin's sheets, his head falling forward to rest on his arms, his fingers disentangling from the blanket he had been holding. Kevin stood up, pulling up his boxers as he moved to the other side of the bed to grab a pack of baby wipes from his night stand, haphazardly cleaning his cum from the pillow that was on the floor and wiping his hands clean. He took a second and ran to the bathroom to get a warm, wet washcloth for Andrew, as well as to brush his teeth.
When he returned Andrew had moved, but not much. He had slid up onto the bed, still laying on his stomach but away from the very large stain he'd left on the sheet. Kevin slowly took the washcloth and placed it just above Andrew's ass, careful not to surprise him too much. Andrew didn't even flinch, just hummed softly as Kevin cleaned him and the bed up before gently slipping next to Andrew in the bed, pulling a spare blanket over both of them. Andrew had his eyes closed, a small smile on his normally disinterested face. Kevin reached over and brushed a blonde strand from his forehead before leaning over and kissing him lightly on his forehead.
“Can you stay?” Kevin asked, not caring if he sounded needy.
Andrew opened his eyes and frowned. “You want me to stay? I assumed you’d want me out of here, when you remembered I wasn't… him.”
It was Kevin’s turn to frown, but he figured being honest with Andrew had gotten him this far, so he might as well keep it up.
“I never for one minute thought you were Aaron. In fact, I often used to wish it was you when I was with him. For four years before I was ever even with him, Andrew. Four years I wanted you and I didn't think I could have it, this, you. I never want you to leave, I never did. I never have. And honestly, I don't think I ever will. But if this was just you trying to make me feel better I’d understand. And you could go, I'd be fine.” Kevin was twisting his fingers in his hands, a slight ache already having formed from the events of the night. “But if you think this is something you might want. Even with all the drama that will likely come with it, I want that too.”
Andrew sat there in silence for a moment, shifting the blanket up higher as though suddenly embarrassed to be so exposed, his cheeks flushed when he finally looked at Kevin. His expression changed quickly, and without saying anything, Andrew climbed out of bed and walked to Kevin's closet, slipping on a pair of drawstring shorts before walking out of the room. Kevin felt his eyes prick with tears, feeling ridiculous for thinking Andrew would feel the same way. He stood up just long enough to slide under all of his blankets, tucking his head underneath as he went. He would mope in bed, figure out how to push these feelings back down again, and hope they could still be friends. After a moment he felt the bed sink next to him and he pulled the blankets back off his head to see Andrew sliding into the bed next to him, slipping the covers over himself as well, carefully holding two bowls. One was full to the top with ice cream that Kevin purposely kept in his freezer just for Andrew. The other bowl with the fruit from earlier that Kevin hadn't finished.
“I’m staying,” Andrew said, once he’d gotten situated in bed. “I don't think you realize how much time we wasted. I would've been here five years ago. I wanted you five years ago. I just didn't think I'd ever get to the point where I could let myself want… This. Not just sex, but someone to spend time with? I don't really talk about my feelings, because letting someone know how you feel gives them the control, and I can't lose that. But, for you, I feel like I can. So yeah, Kevin, I’ll stay. As long as you want me.”
Kevin rolled over, laying his head on Andrew's chest as he watched videos on his phone. For the first time since moving to his apartment, he felt like he might really be home.