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Rangiku sat dazed. She stared off into the distance of the window that glistened with light, juxtaposing the monotonous mood. Her flushed cheeks shone even more at the thought of Gin, though her expression betrayed those feelings. Gin's eyes had been closed for 47 days. 47 days, and yet, Rangiku still sulked. Gin had only attempted to fix the missing piece to her soul -- which Rangiku, to this day, still didn't know was gone - but his failure only ripped the hole wider. Teared it open until Rangiku could only repair the damage, repair hole, and close it up with alcohol. It was the only thing that made her forget. The only thing that made her forget Gin.
She took swigs from her sake. Today, it tasted insipid and bitter. Like it had finally decided it wasn't responsible for the hole. Like it had finally decided Gin wasn't worth it's time. She still thought of Gin. It wasn't working. It didn't mask all the thoughts. It didn't mask all the good memories, the bad memories, the betrayals, the fighting between him and Hitsugaya-taicho.
Nothing. It hid nothing.
Maybe if she had taken a different route that day. Maybe if she had just breathed one last, then she wouldn't be grieving. She wouldn't be here. She would have never made it to see another day. But Gin would've. Gin would be here.
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"Eat," the figure that loomed above her said, sticking out a dried persimmon, "you passed out due to hunger. You have it too... the power."
Rangiku slowly opened her eyes, taking in the young, white-haired, fox-eyed boy. He looked around the same age as her, although Rangiku was never sure how old she was.
"My name is Gin... Gin Ichimaru," He spoke up softly, pushing his own, precious food towards her.
"That's a funny name..." She replied hesitantly and weakly. All she could do was take it. Accept his help graciously.
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She cracked her sake bottle onto the table. Multiple dents appeared from the sudden impact.
Why was she remembering Gin?
She was supposed to forget.
She wanted to forget.
"Matsumoto?" The door creaked open two as her Captain's voice filled the room. She refused to reply.
He wasted no time sitting beside her and placing a reassuring hand on her back due to the lack of response. Toshiro could tell from her quivering lips that something had happened.
"What's wrong, Matsumoto?" He questioned the distraught girl.
"I... I... uh- I... He's... I mean.. Is he really... dead?" Rangiku said coldly, managing to spit out the words in a haze of her emotions.
Toshiro, in response, rubbed her back. He was never good in these situations, especially when it was about the man he utterly despised.
"I-it's been 47 days and I'm still crying like I did back then..." her breath was shaky as water began to leak from her eyes, "I don't know if I'll ever get over this."
"You will, Matsumoto," he reassured.
"How?"
Toshiro stared in shock, brainstorming ideas to put his lieutenant's mind at ease
"Time," he answered, "now get some rest."
Toshiro placed a crying Rangiku's head onto the desk and tightly wrapped her in blankets. She fell asleep instantaneously.
The remaining boy in the room glanced around the lustreless room. The empty sake bottles were the only thing that stood out amongst others. Toshiro sighed. He knew Rangiku would be too busy to clean this all up with her raging hangover that she was bound to have following all the drinking.
Toshiro wondered what she'd move onto next.
Maybe beer, wine, gin & tonic, vodka... maybe even none of those.
Although there was one of them he knew she'd never drink.
She'd never drink Gin.
It reminded her too much of Gin.