Chapter Text
Connor anxiously shifted through his outline, muttering words to himself as he sat perched on the edge of the couch. He read over the analysis of a constitutional stop again, trying desperately to memorize the case names. It felt hopeless. There were too many things and not enough space in his brain. He reached for his coffee cup and brought it to his lips to take a sip, just to discover it was empty. Sighing, he put down his papers and his mug and let his head droop as he rubbed his eyes.
Pulling out his phone, he opened up the group text he had going with the other interns. He debated asking them about having another study group, but then he changed his mind and scrolled to another name in his phone.
“Finals are kicking my butt. Can you help?” he texted.
The reply buzzed back a minute later. “$8 each”
“Fine. Can I come over now?”
“Sure.”
Connor sighed and got up from the couch. He was just slipping on his shoes when he heard the floorboards creak and saw Oliver shuffling out of the bedroom.
“Where are you going?” Oliver asked sleepily.
“Just out for a walk.”
Oliver crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. “It’s almost one in the morning. Come to bed.”
“I will. I just want to decompress a little from studying first. I’ll be right back,” Connor responded.
Oliver sighed, but nodded and went back to bed.
Connor didn't feel good about lying to Oliver, but somehow he didn’t think that Oliver would take it very well if he mentioned that he was going out to buy Adderall to help him study, considering the fact that he thought Connor was a recovering drug addict. And Connor had relied on Adderall at finals time before, and considering how shitty his semester had been dealing with other things like murders and such, he didn’t think now was a great time to suddenly lose that advantage.
So he went out and he bought several of the little orange pills in a Ziploc bag. His dealer had always had a crush on him, so he had also thrown in a few other mystery pills, winking at him and claiming they were “an added bonus just for fun.” He shoved the bag in his jacket pocket and made his way back to the apartment. He wouldn’t use them tonight, because he was already exhausted and it would only be so effective. Much better to wake up tomorrow and study, and then take one right as he was first starting to lose steam. When he got home, he transferred the bag to his backpack, zipping the small pocket shut. Then he went into the bedroom and stripped down to his boxers before curling up next to his sleeping boyfriend and falling asleep.
He woke up late the next morning. Oliver rolled over as Connor got out of bed. “It's Saturday. Sleep more,” Oliver grumbled.
“Can’t. Have to study.” Connor replied as he pulled on a t-shirt and went out to the kitchen to make coffee.
Oliver appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later. “You study too much,” he whined playfully.
Connor smirked. “If I didn’t, I would never be in law school and then I would never have met you. So you should appreciate it.”
Oliver just rolled his eyes.
“You can go back to bed, Ollie. There’s no reason for you to be up.”
“No, the bed is too empty” Oliver pouted.
Connor laughed at that as he sipped his coffee. “Suit yourself.” He walked over to the couch where he’d left his study materials out the night before and started to get settled.
“Connor,” Oliver whined, elongating the r at the end for an almost obnoxiously long time.
“Yes, Oliver?” Connor asked in a casual and polite tone, chuckling to himself.
“I feel like you’re cheating on me with your books.” Oliver grumbled. “Take me on a date!”
“Ollie, it’s finals time. I have to focus.” Connor’s voice was less playful now as he started to pay attention to his outline again.
Oliver huffed and shuffled back to bed.
Connor worked through the morning. Around ten, Oliver got up and made himself some food. Then Oliver lazed around for a while as Connor worked, clearly bored because Connor wasn't focused on him. Eventually he got up again and hopped in the shower.
Connor sat back and stretched, trying to relieve the stress and tension that always built up as he tried to study. His mind was starting to get hazy from staring at his outline for too long, and he knew he still had 3 more classes to cover. At this point, it was halfway through the day and he didn’t anticipate Oliver would be leaving the apartment today. He didn’t know when his next opportunity would be to take an Adderall, so he reached into his bag and quickly popped one of the pills, securely closing it and zipping it away after.
He knew from experience it would take about 30 minutes for the pill to really take effect, and suddenly he was hit with the genius idea to take a well-deserved study break. Smirking to himself, he stood up and strode over to the bathroom. He knew Oliver was right behind the door, naked and gorgeous as he showered, and he was already half hard thinking about it. Stripping himself of his own clothes, he pushed the door open and hopped in the shower and immediately pushed Oliver up against the wall.
Oliver let out a small gasp at the unexpected intrusion, but then grinned at Connor. “I thought you had to study."
Connor responded by pushing his lips against Oliver’s. Oliver leaned forward into the kiss and his hands gripped Connor’s hips. Connor tugged at Oliver’s bottom lip with his teeth, and then pulled away and slid down to his knees.
"Someone's eager," Oliver teased. But then Connor took him into his mouth and he shut up. His head fell back and his hands fell to Connor’s hair.
Connor worked quickly to make him hard. Oliver moaned and sighed and Connor couldn’t help but think how much he loved the feeling. He took pleasure in giving Oliver pleasure. Moaning around Oliver got him another satisfying reaction as Oliver gasped and tightened his grip in Connor’s hair. He sped up his movements with increased vigor, obsessed with how amazing it felt to make Oliver squirm underneath him. It felt so good.
Too good.
Shit.
Suddenly Connor realized that his pill had already very much kicked in, but it wasn’t an Adderall pill at all. He knew this feeling. He recognized this. His dealer had mentioned an added bonus just for fun, and Connor realized he didn't look when he grabbed a pill out of his bag. He must have accidentally grabbed ecstasy instead.
But even as he came to this realization, and his logical mind told him this was probably bad, he didn’t feel worried about it in the slightest. Oliver’s hands in his hair and his moans were taking up all the space in his mind and he felt nothing but pleasure. He took Oliver all the way down his throat again.
“Ah, fuck, Connor” Oliver gasped above him. Connor hummed around him and was rewarded with the loudest moan yet. He continued his efforts, and then Oliver’s body suddenly tensed as he came.
Connor smirked up at Oliver. He stood up and pulled him into another deep kiss, slow and languid, as his hands gripped tightly at Oliver’s sides. Oliver’s skin was so taut around his muscles and his lips felt so soft and he was breathing heavily as he kissed Connor back and everything about this just felt so fucking good. Then Oliver took him into his hand and stroked him and it sent electric shocks through his system. He breathed in sharply at the touch.
Brow furrowing slightly, Oliver pulled back. “Are you okay?”
“Never been better,” Connor breathed as he leaned forward to capture Oliver’s lips back onto his own. Oliver hesitated for a fraction of a second, but then responded to the kiss again. Connor gripped tightly at the nape of Oliver’s neck as Oliver stroked him slowly. Then Oliver flipped them around so that Connor’s back was up against the wall, and trailed the most wonderful feeling kisses down his chest and stomach before taking him into his mouth.
Connor saw stars at the sensation. “Mmm… fuck” Connor moaned a little too loudly. This time, Oliver frowned as he pulled back and looked up at Connor. Connor whined at the loss of the sensation.
“Okay, I’m good, but not that good,” Oliver remarked. “What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong. You’re so good, Ollie. Please…” the last part came out as a whine.
Oliver was clearly a little thrown off by how unusually responsive Connor was being, but he resumed his actions. Connor gripped his hair tightly as Oliver continued. Connor let out another cry as the sensations overwhelmed him. Oliver took his time, slow and deliberate. It was a stark contrast to the overzealous blowjob Connor had just given, but it sent shivers through Connor's body and he could feel every brush of Oliver's fingers against his skin and every swirl of his tongue until eventually Connor was shaking and coming and it was definitely the best orgasm he'd ever felt.
Oliver stood up and Connor eagerly pulled him back in for another kiss, running his hands up and down Oliver’s skin and breathing heavily, his whole body vibrating. “Fuck, that was so good," Connor muttered against Oliver’s lips.
Oliver smiled, but it was uneasy. “You’re acting weird” he said, pulling away from Connor slightly to look at him. Connor tried to follow his lips for a moment, before realizing that Oliver wasn’t kissing him anymore.
“That was just so incredible,” Connor breathed.
“Uh huh.” Oliver didn’t sound convinced and he was staring at Connor, analyzing him. Suddenly, his eyes widened and his body tensed. “Connor, are you high?”
“No,” Connor lied before he even thought about it and he could tell immediately that Oliver didn’t believe him. His body buzzed with a restless excitement and his fingers were fidgeting and he was sure he looked like a wreck.
"What are you on?" Oliver demanded.
Connor just averted his gaze and crossed his arms.
"Connor, what did you take?" Oliver demanded again, louder this time.
"Some X... I think," he finally admitted, refusing to look at Oliver.
“Damn it!” Oliver said forcefully, his voice laced with disappointment and anger. He shut off the shower and got out, wrapping a towel around himself.
“Ollie, wait,” Connor whined as Oliver walked out of the bathroom. He hastily scrambled out of the shower and followed Oliver into the bedroom, forgetting that he was still naked and dripping.
“Put some clothes on,” Oliver said bitterly as he threw a pair of sweatpants at Connor. “I can’t fucking believe this.”
Connor got dressed quickly. His stomach turned suddenly, but he couldn’t tell if it was a result of the drug, or because of the current tension in the room.
“Oliver,” he said slowly. The other man had his back turned to him, but turned around at his name.
“How dare you,” Oliver seethed.
“It was an accident.”
“An accident?!” Oliver asked incredulously. “How does one accidentally get high on drugs?”
Connor flinched at the harshness of his voice. He thought about explaining to Oliver that he had only meant to take an Adderall, but then decided that wouldn’t actually help his case. He was having trouble at the moment with comprehending why this was such a huge deal, but knew better than to challenge it. He at least was grounded enough to know that he was too high to have a rational conversation about anything. “I’m sorry,” he said instead, eyes focused on the floor, still fidgeting.
“You seduced me while high!” Oliver was almost yelling now. “That’s not okay. This is not okay.”
Connor wanted to respond, but his stomach lurched suddenly, and this time it was definitely a result of the drug. Had he known he was going to roll today, he would have done so on an empty stomach. He tried to breathe, but his stomach felt like it was doing a back flip.
"Connor, say something!" Oliver demanded.
But Connor just shook his head, and then quickly turned to run for the bathroom.
“Connor!” Oliver called after him.
Connor couldn't respond. He was too busy vomiting into the toilet.
Oliver was less than sympathetic as he turned and left Connor on the bathroom floor to deal with the consequences of his life choices.
The nausea didn't last very long, but Connor remained sitting on the bathroom floor long after it ended, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall, his mind spinning. He waited for himself to come down from the drug. This was hands-down the worst ecstasy experience he'd ever had. At one point, he heard Oliver walk past the open bathroom door, but then quickly leave again. Connor assumed Oliver was just making sure he wasn't dead or something. Eventually, he pushed himself back up from the bathroom floor and turned on the shower again. His whole body ached now and his mind felt heavy. He had only taken ecstasy a few times before, and when he was on it he always seemed to forget just how shitty the aftermath was and how depressed it made him feel. He focused on the feel of the water on his skin and let the warm water soothe him until it started to turn cold. Then he turned the shower off and slowly dried himself off and got dressed again.
When he left the bathroom, he found a glass of water on the floor near the door. He smiled a little at the knowledge that even when Oliver was livid with him, he still cared enough to do something so kind. Connor picked up the water and drank a few sips, letting the cool water soothe his dry mouth, before turning to the living room to face the music.
Oliver was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Connor noticed that he had dug the plastic bag out of his backpack, because it was now sitting on the coffee table next to the study materials that he was supposed to have spent his day working on. Instead, he’d spent several hours on the bathroom floor and his brain was now foggy and his body still trembled and it was late in the evening. Nothing productive was going to get done today.
“Is this where you went last night?” Oliver asked irritably as Connor gingerly sat down on the other side of the couch.
Connor nodded, but then he realized Oliver wasn’t looking at him. “Yeah,” he croaked. “But I just wanted Adderall to help me study. He gave me a couple of ecstasy pills that I didn’t ask for, and I accidentally took the wrong one.”
Oliver shook his head. “That doesn’t make it any better, Connor.”
“I’m sorry,” Connor muttered. “I just needed to get through finals.” He knew that his excuses sounded pathetic now, even though he didn't actually have the drug problem that Oliver thought he had and he'd never seen a problem with taking Adderall before. But having to admit that he lied to Oliver last night and Oliver’s clear disappointment in him still made him regret his decisions.
Oliver grimaced at his words. Then, without a word, he snatched the bag from the table and took it to the kitchen, dumping the pills down the sink drain. Connor remained seated on the couch and made no attempt to stop him.
“I’m going to bed,” Oliver stated angrily, slamming the empty bag onto the counter and walking quickly back into the bedroom.
As soon as he was gone, Connor slumped down, feeling overwhelmingly sad and alone. He knew that his emotions were very much exacerbated by the after-effects of the drug, but that didn’t make it any easier. His life felt like it was in complete shambles, as he constantly replayed every traumatic memory from the past school year and obsessed over how much Oliver, his only lifeline from all the tragedy, hated him right now. He didn't know how he had gone from an eager first year law student to this life that was so fucked up, and now the only good thing left in his life was angry and the comfort Oliver usually provided was out of his reach. He knew that this was how people got so easily addicted to drugs, because every part of him was aching to text his dealer and get another pill to make this feeling go away. The high wasn't really worth the low, but once he reached the low, all he wanted was the high again. He was already itching for that escape from his own mind, despite knowing just how terrible of a decision that would be.
He swallowed down the lump in the back of his throat as tears fell. A loud sob caught in his chest and he brought his hand up and bit down on his fist to quiet himself. He hated himself for taking the drug and simultaneously had a desperate urge to do it again, and to do so much more next time, rather than the short-lived and unexpected high from this time around. He just wanted to forget all of this pain for awhile. To forget how massively screwed up his life had become. He was reaching for his phone, about to give in, when Oliver slowly shuffled back out of the bedroom.
“Connor?” His voice was much softer now and he must have heard Connor crying because his demeanor was a lot more sympathetic.
Connor was trembling as he looked over at Oliver with pleading eyes.
Oliver approached Connor slowly. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean to get so angry." He held his hand out. “Come on, let's just go to bed."
Connor silently took his hand and stood up. Oliver wrapped an arm around Connor's back and led him into the bedroom. He tucked Connor in under the covers and then got in on the other side, wordlessly pulling Connor’s back to his chest and placing a soft kiss on the back of Connor's neck.
Connor let out another sob and his body shook violently. But Oliver just traced his fingers lightly over Connor’s arm and hummed a random tune until Connor finally drifted off to sleep.